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Living with IBS can affect

more than just your gut.

2

It can impact on your relationships, work,

your exercise, and your mental health.

3

Many people just don't really

realise how IBS is holding them back.

4

Maybe it's leading you to feel very

frustrated and isolated which could

5

be also affecting your mental health.

6

Maybe you're avoiding social plans

and struggling to get promotions

7

at work because you're feeling

under the weather all the time.

8

Also, feeling anxious about

food can just be overwhelming.

9

So in today's episode, I'm going to be

exploring how IBS might be limiting you in

10

ways you hadn't yet considered and let's

think about how you can take control.

11

Welcome to episode 72 of the Inside

Knowledge podcast for people with IBS.

12

I'm Anna Mapson.

13

The reason I picked this topic

this week to focus on how IBS might

14

be holding you back or the things

it's stopping you doing in life is

15

not to go on about how bad it is.

16

But just to bring out some of the key

points that I see with my clients often,

17

that maybe you don't even realize how much

this condition is affecting your life.

18

And I will talk a bit in each of the

sections I want to cover about some

19

of the things that make it easier and

some of the things you can try at home.

20

I suppose this episode is not

going to be packed full of tips.

21

But I also wanted to do it to reach out

and just show you that I do understand

22

how you feel because I work with people

who have this condition all the time.

23

Everyone I work with has IBS and so

I have these conversations day in,

24

day out and I really understand.

25

The context of how IBS makes you feel.

26

And I suppose I just wanted to let

you know that you're not completely

27

alone because there are so many

people with IBS all over the world

28

who have the same issues as you.

29

And these are the types of things

I hear frequently in my clinic.

30

I'm going to start with relationships.

31

And one of the biggest areas that

I hear people talk about the most

32

is not being able to go out with

friends for dinner or go to a

33

friend's house because you are worried

about what's going to be served up.

34

And about how that's going

to affect your digestion.

35

It can also affect things like not

wanting to stay over at people's

36

houses or go away for the weekend.

37

Especially if you're going to have

to share a bathroom with people you

38

don't particularly know very well.

39

Maybe, you're going to be going on a

hen do and you're just petrified at the

40

thought of having to share a bathroom

with somebody you don't particularly know.

41

Or To go and stay at a friend's

house overnight, you'd be

42

worried about using their loo.

43

So how this might translate is

in the back of your mind, you're

44

thinking, Oh, I don't really want to

have to go through that experience.

45

So instead, what I'll do is think up

reasons why I can't really go, or just

46

not appear excited about the plans

when you're talking to your friends.

47

Staying over at romantic partner's

house as well can be really

48

challenging when you have IBS.

49

I remember someone I worked with a

few years ago, who really wanted to

50

stay at her boyfriend's house, but

she was just so worried about the

51

excessive gas that happened overnight.

52

She was worried that she would fart in

her sleep and he might hear or she was

53

worried about it being really loud when

she used the toilet in the morning.

54

And so it was putting her off, like,

taking the relationship forward

55

because she was so worried about

him finding out and at that sort

56

of stage in the relationship she

didn't really want to have to talk

57

to him too much about her IBS.

58

So those two situations were, I suppose,

for new people that you don't really know

59

so well and maybe just wanting to not

engage or not take the relationship a bit

60

further forward, but the other dynamic

is when you have family members who've

61

known you, obviously, for years and years.

62

You're very comfortable together but maybe

they always see you as, oh, the fussy

63

one, or like, what can't she eat now?

64

What's in and out this week, you know,

you have those kind of dynamics with

65

your family who can be quite upfront.

66

I mean, in some families anyway, and

just quite open and that can be pretty

67

challenging as well to navigate.

68

So sometimes people don't really

understand why certain foods are in or

69

out and why you can sometimes tolerate

foods, but actually you've had a flare up.

70

So you don't necessarily want to

have fish and chips this weekend or.

71

You actually don't want to have any

cake because you're just avoiding

72

those kind of foods for a while.

73

It can be really challenging.

74

The way that IBS can affect your

relationships is it either can hold you

75

back from, like, actually taking part

in events and showing up to take part

76

in relationships, or Or it can also

affect you just in a way that you are

77

kind of holding something back from

people that you spend time with, people

78

that you love, and that love you, and

you feel like there's a little bit

79

of a barrier in between you because

of how you're feeling physically.

80

And actually that sort of brings me

on to the next area that I wanted to

81

talk about, which is when you are at

work, and especially if you have to

82

go into the office or your workplace,

because there's also a lot of things

83

that can hold you back if you have IBS.

84

Sometimes people don't want to go for a

different job where it means they would

85

have to travel for a little bit longer

each morning because traveling in the

86

car or on a train can be very stressful.

87

Especially if you think you might need

the toilet suddenly or you're just

88

struggling to organize yourself in the

morning with how long it takes you to

89

go to the toilet, eating your breakfast,

all of those things scheduling in.

90

feels difficult.

91

So sometimes people avoid going for

promotions at work or changing jobs

92

because of the logistics and how

IBS morning routine particularly

93

is also going to be a problem.

94

But the other thing at work that

often holds people back from like

95

fully showing up and presenting their

best selves at their job is things

96

like access to bathrooms or work.

97

I did a survey about a year ago

where I asked people what their

98

experience was like with toilets

locally in their workplace.

99

And some people said they didn't really

have freely access to the toilet.

100

So, you know, maybe you're in a

call centre or something where

101

you are not free to just get up

and move around whenever you want.

102

That can be really anxiety

inducing for people who have IBS.

103

Then, even if you do have free access

to the toilets, it can be really

104

challenging if they're open bathrooms,

and you're worried about the smell,

105

you're worried about the noise.

106

This is things that people I work with

really struggle with when you have

107

to go into the office and the worry

of needing to use the toilet at work.

108

I know someone who has been

invited on an overseas work trip

109

flying halfway around the world.

110

They were getting a promotion and part

of the trip is to go and visit employees

111

in a different part of the world They're

very worried about a long haul flight,

112

where they could get more constipation,

worried about access to safe foods whilst

113

they're away, worried about the change in

eating patterns, and what that might do

114

to their bowel habits.

115

Like, there's a lot of anxiety

that could be wrapped up in an

116

overseas work trip particularly.

117

Or, or even just going on a work away day.

118

Anything like that where you're

with other people and you want

119

to present your best self.

120

You want to be showing

up feeling professional.

121

I have another client who's also

really worried about, Rumbling during

122

a work away day So was really concerned

Everybody would be able to hear their

123

stomach during the meetings or sitting

next to them Because that was one of

124

their biggest symptoms as the gurgling

stomach So it really does affect the

125

way you show up for work and trying to

acknowledgement of that in your own mind.

126

So actually being conscious about how IBS

is stopping you from progressing at work.

127

Like maybe it's holding you

back from getting a promotion.

128

Maybe it's stopping you from

enjoying your time in the office.

129

So you mostly work from home if you can.

130

These are all important considerations

and maybe will feed into finding the right

131

time for you to do something about it.

132

You've also got the way how sometimes

when you're feeling under the weather

133

it can just affect your performance,

like you're not showing up with your

134

best self, your most shiny, happy, like,

motivated face on, because you're feeling

135

tired because you didn't sleep last

night, or maybe you're undernourished

136

because you're not eating enough.

137

All of these things can affect

your performance at work.

138

So, I guess with both of

those two areas, your Social

139

relationships and your workplace.

140

The tips really are about communication.

141

The way that you would talk with

your friends and family about IBS

142

would obviously be very different to

how you might talk to your managers.

143

But it is really appropriate

to discuss with your employers

144

like how you're feeling.

145

It's a physical health condition and

although it's not classed as a disability,

146

it can be very disabling in terms of the

pain, the fatigue, Just constant need

147

to be near a toilet for some people.

148

So, despite the way that you would

communicate would be very different,

149

the best way to try and break down some

of these barriers is to communicate how

150

you're feeling to your friends and family

and to your colleagues, if appropriate,

151

or at least your manager, so that they

understand you're not just taking days

152

off for the sake of it, or you're not

just avoiding coming into the office

153

because you don't like people It's because

you're not well, and you need to have

154

some adjustments made for you, and a good

employer will hopefully understand that.

155

But yes, so the communication really

is very difficult, but it is the

156

key to getting over these barriers.

157

The next area I wanted to bring up is

exercise and how your IBS might be holding

158

you back from fully engaging in exercise

or just enjoying more physical activity.

159

Often, people fear a flare up

that causes you to limit how much

160

movement you're getting in a day.

161

It could be that you are worried about

passing gas when you're with other people.

162

So that can happen when

you're out and you're moving.

163

I know I had a client who

was really embarrassed.

164

She loved running with other people,

and was just worried about the noise

165

of the farting as she was running.

166

And often people are worried

about going to a yoga class

167

for the same kind of reasons.

168

Yoga or Pilates, particularly anything

that's calming, if you're moving

169

around, sometimes gas can come out

and you can be very, embarrassed about

170

that or worried about it happening.

171

But the annoying thing is really that

exercise actually can help reduce

172

your IBS symptoms in the long run.

173

So once you can find a good IBS friendly

workout routine, something that suits

174

you and whatever suits you is going

to be the thing that you can maintain.

175

So, it doesn't really matter what kind

of movement it is, walking is great and

176

I say this a lot but I really advise

you to try and get in a 30 minute walk

177

every day as a minimum, and if you

can do more exercise, that's great.

178

But actually, we don't need to do

tons of exercise, but just starting

179

from wherever you are and increasing

your exercise a bit so that you

180

are moving your body every day.

181

It has a great impact on your mental

health, your sleep, and your gut as well.

182

So there's lots of reasons why exercise

is good, but I really see this quite a

183

lot in my clients that IBS is holding

you back from engaging in exercise.

184

Partly because you don't have enough

energy or you're finding it hard to,

185

like, maintain the consistency to be

able to go to the gym frequently or,

186

like, turn up to that class every week.

187

So obviously a big one with IBS is

how it can affect your nutrition.

188

IBS definitely affects the way you eat

and that is one of the biggest things

189

that we see, but you might not know

that IBS can lead you to have nutrient

190

deficiencies or disordered eating

patterns if you don't take care of it.

191

And this is something I'm seeing more

frequently with my clients, is that

192

actually by over restricting the types

of foods that you eat, it's leading

193

you to miss out on key nutrients that

are needed for maintaining your energy

194

balance, for helping you with healthy

skin, for helping with your mental health.

195

Key nutrients that people with

IBS are often low in include

196

iron, vitamin B12, vitamin D

sometimes, could be zinc as well.

197

So depending on what you're eating

and what you're restricting, And also

198

your own genetics and physiology, you

might be low in some of those things.

199

There could also be a lot of other

things, especially if you have

200

other restrictions on your diet,

like being vegetarian or vegan or

201

gluten free or something like that.

202

There will be even less foods

that are feeling safe and

203

that you can eat on repeat.

204

So I've already talked about how anxiety

about eating and what you're eating can

205

really affect social situations, so you

often miss out on that from a social

206

point of view, but also that people

can skip meals because if you do want

207

to go out you say, oh I'll go out but

I just won't eat, so therefore you're

208

skipping meals, or you say, oh I'm going

to go out later, So I don't want to

209

eat all day, so that I do have a flat

stomach, or I'm not massively bloated

210

by the time I get to the restaurant.

211

These kind of things can make your

symptoms worse, so erratic eating

212

patterns are not great for IBS.

213

And really, until you know what your

food triggers are, it is going to be

214

Guessing game and that is where it

leads to more and more restrictions

215

because you cut the last Foods out that

caused you a problem And if it was a

216

mixed meal with lots of different foods

in it You don't really know which of

217

the foods it was And you go therefore

cutting more and more foods out until you

218

don't have a very varied diet anymore.

219

So it can lead to like I said these

nutrient deficiencies or What I also

220

see quite a lot is anxiety about

food anxiety about eating and to the

221

point where people feel very fearful

for trying new foods and that in

222

itself can cause IBS type symptoms.

223

So we know like when you're really

stressed and nervous you get

224

this fight or flight response,

it's putting us into danger mode

225

and our body is not prioritizing

digestion when you feel like that.

226

, it's got a knock on effect as well.

227

So there's some things to explore,

perhaps for some people, is like how

228

your food fear might be starting to

rule your life more than you want it to.

229

For anyone who hasn't yet tried

the low FODMAP diet, that is

230

another solution that you can try.

231

And I have a course that you can follow

which guide you through how to do the

232

FODMAP diet, what you can eat and what

you should cut down on for the restriction

233

phase, and then it walks you through

exactly how to do the reintroduction

234

so that you do not get stuck on a low

FODMAP diet and it takes you back to

235

eating as broad a diet as possible.

236

That is just one option or one

way of managing your food intake.

237

And it can help you around food fear,

and anxiety about eating which can

238

then lead to these problems like I've

said of over restricting, constant

239

worrying about your food, and also

potential nutrient deficiencies.

240

And actually, worrying and the

constant emotional stress is the

241

last area that I wanted to focus on.

242

So the mental and emotional toll of

having IBS can be quite significant.

243

It's like a running commentary in your

mind, always thinking of the logistics

244

of eating and what it would mean.

245

I was thinking the other day, it's

a little bit like, I remember when

246

my kids were young, And I used to

think about their nap times and when

247

everyone had to eat and you had to

kind of work back from that time.

248

So it's like, oh, if we want to go

out to this group, then they need

249

to have had a nap before then.

250

And then, of course, before then

they need to have had their dinner.

251

So I need to get home by this

time so I can prepare the meal.

252

And, you know, you're working

backwards and like scheduling.

253

The same kind of planning process

goes on in the head of people

254

with IBS quite a bit, I find.

255

For example, you might think, oh,

tomorrow I need to go into the office,

256

so I want to leave the house at 8 a.

257

m.

258

That means I need to get up, enough time

to have my breakfast in order to sit

259

on the toilet multiple times maybe in

order to have a bowel movement before

260

I go to work because you don't want a

chance having to have it at work, which

261

means you need to get up at , say half

past six, you also need to allow time

262

to go on the toilet, but often to get

a good bowel movement you need to, I

263

don't know, have a coffee before that,

you need to do a little bit of exercise,

264

you need to make sure you've done some

mindfulness or whatever that helps you go.

265

Sometimes those kind of panics are like

the running commentary in your head.

266

It's like, It's just like an extra

area of organization that people

267

do not realize that you've got.

268

And that mental toll just adds up.

269

Like I was saying, I remember

with the kids when they're young,

270

like it's constant thinking about,

Oh, well, if I've got to do this

271

first, then I need to do that next.

272

And what happens if this happens,

you're just like worrying all the

273

time about how things might pan out.

274

And.

275

It is logical that your brain has got

that running commentary because if you

276

think you've had some bad experiences

in the past and that is why you have

277

this ongoing anxiety about eating, about

needing to use the toilet and where and

278

when it will happen, Because it's not

worked out well in the past and that is

279

why your brain is trying to keep you safe.

280

But it's exhausting having that

mental chatter in the background

281

and people don't really realize that

you're thinking all of these things.

282

Which links into my first point about

the impact on your social relationships.

283

We also know that there's a huge

overlap between people who have

284

anxiety, low mood, depression, and IBS.

285

There is a really strong gut brain

connection that is linking up our mood

286

and our thoughts to how we are digesting.

287

But also it's kind of more than that.

288

There's an ongoing cycle, so stress

can trigger or worsen your symptoms,

289

and then your symptoms can worsen

and create more stress and anxiety

290

and feelings of sadness because of

the things that you're missing out.

291

The part that IBS is holding

you back from in terms of your

292

mental health is feeling calm.

293

It's holding you back from pure relaxation

and it's holding you back from fully

294

engaging and enjoying things because

of that ongoing thoughts about how to

295

What you've eaten might be causing your

symptoms, like constantly trying to get

296

to the bottom of what your issues are.

297

Which is very natural.

298

You want to resolve it, but in this

episode I'm trying to think about the

299

ways that IBS is stopping you, or what

it's holding you back from doing, and

300

I think what it's holding you back from

is living a life with peacefulness,

301

because You have got a layer of worry

and anxiety about the next meal.

302

Is it going to be the trigger?

303

What else could you do?

304

There's a constant feelings of

needing to do something to resolve

305

it because it's uncomfortable.

306

It's painful.

307

It's embarrassing.

308

Each of those areas I've talked about,

like social relationships, nutrition,

309

exercising, work, and your mental

health, all of those things are

310

impacted by having IBS, and probably

more things as well, but I just kind

311

of grouped them into those areas.

312

Sometimes they're held back by

the fear of what might happen.

313

You're worried about being embarrassed if

something did happen at the office about a

314

noise or a smell, something might happen.

315

Or, you can also be worried about things

that are actually happening and it's

316

also quite good to separate those out

when we think about what is actually

317

happening and what might happen, um,

and trying to differentiate between

318

those, like Is the fear of something

happening holding you back, or is

319

the symptoms of IBS holding you back?

320

For example, fatigue, brain fog because

you are not eating enough and you're

321

not sleeping well, or is it the pain

that's really keeping you in bed?

322

Those things are actually happening

right now, maybe, not saying that they

323

are, but maybe they're holding you

back right now, and maybe you're also

324

worried about the fact that you might

have a flare up if you did something.

325

The fact is that IBS does affect

all of these different aspects

326

of your life, and I hope this

episode hasn't been too depressing.

327

I don't want to just highlight all

the things that are going wrong and

328

that could be a problem in your life.

329

Maybe they don't all affect

you, and I hope they don't.

330

But I also want to try and highlight these

things because people don't necessarily

331

always realize what the consequence is

of living with IBS that isn't IBS Being

332

treated or it hasn't got you haven't got

a management plan for it If you feel like

333

you do want help though with your IBS Then

I work with people over three months and

334

I guide you through how to find the right

diet for you how to change The way that

335

IBS impacts on your life so that you can

fully show up and you can start engaging

336

Properly with meals out with friends with

getting back into the office a few more

337

days a week Those kind of things really

make a difference and help you to feel

338

like you're getting somewhere in your

life rather than IBS is holding you back.

339

So if you want to talk to me about

working with me, then I have this

340

three month gut reset and you can

apply to work with me via a link

341

in the show notes or on my website.

342

very much for listening to this

episode of the Inside Knowledge.

343

Better digestion for everyone.