Life is all about making good decisions. But how do you discern the will of God? And how do you avoid “paralysis by analysis?” This mantra will help: “Make a decision and make it work”. 

Dad: where did this mantra come from?

Would you consider yourself to be decisive or indecisive?  How do you think those who know you best would answer that question?  Because God has called you to lead in the home and at church, men should be decisive.  

Black and White Decisions

• Q. Has God’s Word already made the decision? 
• When we’re faced with a decision where God’s Word has already clearly spoken, the decision is clear: we obey.  
• I don’t have to ask myself if I should sleep with my girlfriend or not.  I don’t have to ask if I should get drunk this weekend.  That’s a different question than, “Should I drink this weekend?”  
• If you’re not obeying God in the black and white decisions, don’t be surprised if it is harder to hear his voice on the gray ones.  
• Being a follower of Christ means I submit to his authority in my life. 
• Psalm 119:11 I have hidden your word in my heart that I may not sin against you. 
• Q. Will this decision put me in a vulnerable position?
• Proverbs 14:15-16 Only simpletons believe everything they’re told!
• The prudent carefully consider their steps.The wise are cautious[a] and avoid danger;  fools plunge ahead with reckless confidence.
• If you struggle with pornography should you have a TV in your room?  Should you keep your phone in your room at night? 
• If you’re trying to honor God in your relationship with your girlfriend, be careful of putting yourself into temptation. 
• If you’re trying to honor God with your finances, should you get the cheaper car or smaller apartment?  
• This is where humility is important in decision making. 
• Q. Will this decision cause another brother to stumble?
• Dad: not drinking while kids were young

Choosing between two good decisions

• Q. Is there more than one option that honors God? How do I discern his will? Then you have to choose the best over the good. 
• How to discern God’s Voice (trifecta, three means of grace)
• His Word
• Already talked about this. 
• His Spirit
• James 1:5  If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.
• His People
•  1 Corinthians 12:7-10 A spiritual gift is given to each of us so we can help each other. 8 To one person the Spirit gives the ability to give wise advice[b]; to another the same Spirit gives a message of special knowledge.[c] 9 The same Spirit gives great faith to another, and to someone else the one Spirit gives the gift of healing. 10 He gives one person the power to perform miracles, and another the ability to prophesy. He gives someone else the ability to discern whether a message is from the Spirit of God or from another spirit. Still another person is given the ability to speak in unknown languages,[d] while another is given the ability to interpret what is being said. 
• Some people have a spiritual gift for giving wise advice.  Find those people and listen to them.  
• Proverbs 15:22 Plans go wrong for lack of advice; many advisers bring success.
• Get people who know your gifting and temperament to help you make decisions
• For young men who are married, God has called your spouse to be your help mate.  Make decisions in unity with them as much as it is possible.  If you just can’t come to agreement on a decision and you’re confident the Lord is leading you a certain way, lead your wife through that.  

Trans: After we have done the above and really sought God’s will, we need to be decisive. 

Step through the Door with Faith

• I believe sometimes God is more concerned with how we go through the door than with which door we choose.  He is sovereign.  He’s in control.  If we’ve honestly sought his will and the choice isn’t crystal clear, pick a door and step through it with gratitude and faith. 
• Story about “All the places to go, how will you know” John Ortberg study
• Romans 8:28  And we know that God causes everything to work together[a] for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.
• God can even use my bad decisions for my good and for his glory.  I obviously don’t make bad decisions on purpose, but I am going to make some, even though I’ve tried to hear from God.  
• Colossians 3:23  Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people. 
• Once the decision has been made, get to work.  Work as unto the Lord.  Don’t wonder “what if” at the first sign of hardship or trouble.  Don’t beat yourself up if you come to realize you made a bad decision.  God’s grace is bigger than your mistakes.  
• If it turns out to be a poor decision, take responsibility.  Don’t shift the blame.  Don’t let it cause you to be indecisive in the future.  

Speaker 2 00:00:16 Well, hey there, man, and young men, you know, life is all about making good decisions, but today in our episode we're gonna talk about how do you discern the will of God? How do you avoid paralysis by analysis? Probably a lot of our listeners have big decisions to make, especially if you're young men in today's topic is great for young men, high school, college, and the, and, and even younger I guess. But you know, how do you, how do you make a good godly decision? And you know, for me, growing up, John, my dad had this mantra that all of his kids now repeat over and over and over again. Everyone I've ever repeated it to loves it. And they use it in their own life. And here was his mantra. Make a decision and make it work. And we have a special guest on our episode today cuz my dad is gonna join us. Dad, we'll start with you. Where did this come from? And, and um, you know, for us, we learned it as probably junior hires or high schoolers, but for you, you actually didn't learn. You didn't just talk about it at home with us. You actually talked about it at work, didn't you? Sure.

Speaker 2 00:02:01 Yeah, and it's interesting cuz I didn't realize that until just now while we were prepping for this episode. I always thought that the reason you said that, dad, is because mom is notorious for being indecisive, right? , she could never make a decision. And we grew up seeing that as an example. I always thought that you said this to us because you didn't want us to be sort of, you know, prone to paralysis by analysis. And either way I thought, man, this was such a great, uh, this was such a great mantra because I do, and I have seen in my own ministry, in my own life, especially with men, I've seen so many men and young men just really struggle to make good decisions and then make those good decisions work. And I love what you said, that it really is about ownership. John, I know in pastoral ministry you've seen us a lot yourself.

Speaker 2 00:03:35 All right? So let's, we've got a lot to talk about today as we're helping young men, especially to make good decisions. Let's start with black and white decisions, and we're gonna, we're gonna be asking some questions as we go today. And really the first question I think you need to ask young man if you're trying to make a decision, this pretty obvious is, has God's word already made the decision? Right? If you're a follower of Jesus, there are some decisions, John, that are just straight up black

Speaker 3 00:04:54 And, and we'll get into those kind of decisions a little bit later in the podcast. What if God's word isn't black and white on it? What if it's a gray area? Then do, then how do I make the best decision in those situations? And, and I would just encourage the men out there that how we handle these black and white decisions is gonna have an impact on how well we hear God's voice. And the gray ones. You know, if I'm not obeying God in the black and white decisions, don't be surprised if it's harder for me to hear his voice on the gray ones.

Speaker 3 00:06:16 And obviously that doesn't mean Brian, we're gonna be perfect. You know, when we become a follower of Christ, we're still, we're still gonna make mistakes. We will still have sin in our lives, but there should be a pattern of submission. It, it should be a, a heart stance where when we come across something where God's word is said, something that we humble ourselves to his authority and and do what he asks us to do.

Speaker 3 00:07:40 Yeah, I think of Proverbs 14 versus 15 and 16. Brian says, only Simpletons believe everything they're told. The prudent carefully consider their steps the whys are cautious and avoid danger, but fools plunge ahead with reckless confidence. So just to your example about making the wise decision with my girlfriend at midnight, I shouldn't still be there at midnight, most likely, you know, I should make, I should be cautious. I should avoid the danger. I shouldn't put myself in a situation where I'm gonna have to make those tough decisions with all the emotions and all the feelings that happen in the moment. So, you know, for example, a young man, if you struggle with pornography, should you have a TV in your room? If, if you just eliminate that, then you don't have to worry about trying to make that decision at, at two in the morning when everyone's asleep and, and you've got that temptation, you know, should you keep your phone in your room at night?

Speaker 2 00:09:32 Okay, so we're still talking about black and white decisions. Let me just review. We, we've, the one question you can ask is, has God already made the decision? Another question you can ask is, will this decision put me in a vulnerable position? And there's one more thing before we move on here to, to talk about the next important thing, which is to make how to ma how do you make decisions when there's more than one good choice? But the, the third, the third question you can ask when it comes to black and white decisions is, will this decision cause another brother to stumble? And this in particular applies when we're talking about, for example, when we're talking about drinking. And dad, for you, I think essentially is, this is the question or a version of this question is, is the question you asked when it came to making the decision while we were younger and still in the home that you weren't gonna drink. Talk us through how you came to that decision.

Speaker 2 00:11:42 Yeah. And again, we said John, like, like you said, it's, and this is prob we'll probably do some other topics on this, but it's, the Bible doesn't say drinking is a sin, but it says drunkenness is a sin. And so dad, I think you could have easily just said, Hey, you know, I'm gonna, I'm gonna drink anyway cuz it's not, it's not wrong for me to drink. It's not a sin. As long as you weren't getting drunk and, and you weren't, you wouldn't have. But I, I respected, and I was even aware of this as a kid, I respected that you, you drew that boundary because you, one of our values, John and our churches, we give up things we love for things we love more. So you had freedom dad to drink if you wanted to, but you, but you, you sort of zoomed out and you looked at the big picture and you said, well, this cause another brother to stumble or in, in this case your kids to stumble. I think you can, you can apply that same thing to drinking around someone who has a problem with alcohol, then just don't, don't make that decision. It, you know, if if it causes someone else to stumble, then it's sin. And so that's a, that's again an area where scripture's clear that we sometimes we make decisions with the big picture in mind, not just, you know, the black and white sin, right in our own lives.

Speaker 2 00:14:07 Yeah, that's good. Okay, so those were all the black and white decisions again there, young men, if you're listening, there are some decisions. It's just really clear. It's black and white. There's one good option and you should choose the right thing. You should make a choice, make a decision and make it work. But there's a whole nother section, John, I wanna spend some time on this because this would fall under the category of discerning the will of God, right? So, so it's easy to discern the will of God when it's black and white, but there are a lot of questions, especially young men have to answer in their, you know, post high school years where it's, it's so important that you discern the will of God correctly. And, and this is where you're having to choose between more than, than one good decision. This is where there might not be one, it's not a moral issue, it's not a sin issue, it's just you've gotta make an important decision in your life.

Speaker 3 00:15:54 Well, we talked about the black and white earlier, right? You know, Psalm 1, 19 11, I think of in those situations I've hidden your word in my heart that I may not sin against you, but now we're talking about two decisions where maybe neither one is a sin against God. So how do I allow God's word to speak to me? One of the things that that's really helpful for me when I'm reading God's word is just a reminder of, of the things that are important to God. So you mentioned, for example, if young men out there is trying to decide what career path he should, he should choose, what would culture say? Culture would probably say pick the one that pays the most. But as I read God's word, I don't believe that would be the first criteria that God's word would instruct me on. Now, I'm not saying that God is against, you know, good paying jobs, certainly, you know, God blesses us with good paying jobs, but, but as I prioritize the, these issues that I need to make a decision on as I prioritize the pros and the cons, God's word I believe will give me a different order of priorities than if I just try to do it on my own strength.

Speaker 3 00:18:11 Exactly What, what do we make decisions with? I mean, our, our mind, right? And it's time in God's word, Romans 12 says that, that transforms us by the renewing of our mind. So yeah, it's not like, God, should I get the red truck or the blue truck and I open up the Bible and if I see the word red or blue, then that's, that's confirmation of the decision. That's not what we're talking about,

Speaker 3 00:19:20 Well, it's really slowing and, and listening to the spirit. You know, James one five says, if you need wisdom, ask our generous God and he will give it to you. And he will not rebuke you for asking. And I don't know about our listeners and, and would love to hear your your input on this, Brian, but for me, it's, it's hard for me to hear the Holy Spirit when I'm hurried. So for me to, to hear the spirit, it's, it's so helpful if, if I just slow my pace, you know, if after I've spent time in the word, I just spend time praying to God and, and I ask him questions, you know, I ask him for wisdom. I ask him to help me make wise decisions. And then I just try to, to slow down and listen and, and let the, the soft voice of the spirit give me direction. And I've had very few, what I would call fiery handwriting on the wall moments in, in my life where, where the spirit just blasted me with direction. I've found, for me anyway, it's, it's often much more subtle, a subtle prompting. And so I, I need to be still and I need to kind of slow down to be able to hear those and discern those.

Speaker 2 00:21:23 I have a, I have a thought about, about who to reach out to and check in on. I, I have a thought about who to pray for. I have a, an idea about maybe a topic for the podcast or whatever. And so those are things that I just slowly over time have recognized that that's God's sort of still small voice. That's kind of God's nudge in my life. And again, I would say to young people, if if you don't spend time developing your prayer life, you're not gonna be able to listen to God's spirit. It's kind of like a, like a muscle. If you don't ever exercise that muscle, it's gonna atrophy. But if you just like reading the word, if you get in the habit of prayer, even though it, it's hard at first, I would encourage young people start five minutes a day and eventually maybe you'll work your way up to spending more time in God's word. But don't forget the the why part, the yielding part. Prayer isn't just about asking God for stuff. Prayer is also about le learning to listen to him, um, and then respond to what, where his spirit's leading.

Speaker 2 00:23:01 Okay? So that's God's spirit. So we've got God's word, we have God's spirit. And then the third thing, if you really wanna discern the will of God, and this is really important, is you need God's people. And so what we're talking about here is you need other Christians in your life. And, and it doesn't have to necessarily be Christians all the time. You can have non-Christians that can give you good advice. But if you really want godly advice, you need other believers in your life. That might be a dad, it might be a mom, it might be an accountability group, it might be a, a men's group at your church. There's a lot of different ways this could happen. It could be a pastor in your life. But a huge part of this, John, isn't this true, is that you need to consult God's people on a regular basis to see it, to make good decisions in your life. Especially some of those big decisions like what career field or what job or, or you know, what woman you should marry . This is important.

Speaker 3 00:24:50 Still another person has given the ability to speak in unknown languages while another is given the ability to interpret what is being said. But just look at that. There are several spiritual gifts listed there that talk specifically about making a good decision. So one of 'em is says the Spirit gives the ability to give wise advice. So there are people in your life, there are people at your church, there are people that you know that have this spiritual gift of giving wise advice. The other one says, the same spirit gives us a message of special knowledge. I think that could be very helpful if you have someone in your life who has a message of special knowledge when you're trying to make a decision. And then later on it says, someone has the ability to discern whether a message is from the spirit of God or from another spirit. So, so those individuals with that type of gift can help us discern when we are hearing things, if we're hearing from the spirit of God or from another spirit. So, so young men, well really men of any age, I would encourage you to surround yourself with people that you feel have a spiritual gift for giving wise advice or that have the spiritual gift of special knowledge. And then just humble yourself and listen to them.

Speaker 2 00:26:56 Don't just hang out with young guys your own age. Hang out with some people that have some experience and wisdom. And I think that's going to help you in this area when you're trying to make decisions in your life. You know, John, for me, when I was trying to make the really important decision about who to marry in my life, I was dating Tracy, who's now my wife. I, I did everything I could to get her around my family, my brothers and sisters, my mom and dad, my good friends. Um, and I, and I asked them, what do you think? What do you think about her? What do you think about us? Like I invited that and young men, this is what you need to do. I know this isn't really natural for most of us, is to invite people into our lives to ask advice.

Speaker 3 00:28:21 You, you mentioned the word humility again Brian, and we said that earlier in the podcast, but that really is such, it's just such an important trait for a leader and for men, we've called to be leaders in our home and in the church specifically. We, we need to be humble. We need to, we need to admit, Hey, I, there's a good chance I might make the wrong decision if I try to do this on my own. And I think it's important for us to, to invite people in who really know us, right? If somebody knows you're gifting, if they know your temperament, then they're gonna be able to give you wiser input on some of those decisions. I've got a young man that I had been mentoring for a while and he was looking at career opportunities and he had, he had taken his c d L and he was, he was talking about doing, you know, long haul trucking over the road.

Speaker 3 00:30:04 God has called your spouse to be your helpmate. They should be a big part of this. Not the only person you turn to, but, but they should be your helpmate and, you know, make decisions in unity with them as much as possible. Now, I do believe that there may come some times where you just can't come to an agreement on a decision with your spouse. And I would say in that case, if you have humbly sought the Lord and you really feel like he's leading you in a certain way, then you need to lead your wife through that. And, and hopefully she'll be able to submit to your authority because she'll know that you truly are seeking God's will.

Speaker 2 00:31:27 Yeah. And once you've made the decision, dad, this is so good. Yes, you gotta make it work. You got it right. You don't go into marriage thinking, oh, I'll try it for a while and we'll see God's word. This is again, where God's word is clear. God hates divorce. And that's why it is a big, it's a big decision. So if you made, like, I think if you made, if you feel like you made the wrong decision with who to whom to marry, let me, let me tell you right now, you didn't if you got married, if you got married, that's the decision you made. And you need to, you need to make that marriage work. And again, so for you unmarried people, that's why it's so important just to know, make sure to look to God's word, make sure to look to his spirit through prayer and look to God's people in your life because it's a huge decision when it comes to who, who you're mar who you marry.

Speaker 2 00:33:08 They didn't, they didn't want to have to take ownership for making, making the wrong call in their life. And again, that that can really create anal, uh, you know, what we call paralysis by analysis. Like you're, you overanalyze something and so you never make a decision. Young man, we wanna make sure that you hear this. There are going to be times in your life where you're just going to have to make a call after you've heard of all these things we've talked about from God's word. At the end of the day, if you're a man, you're a leader and you need, sometimes you just need to make a decision. And sometimes that means you need to step through that door of faith.

Speaker 3 00:34:31 I'm gonna go through this, and when we're finished, I'll never again wonder if I'm choosing God's will or not. Like it's gonna be black and white. Well, I don't want to be a spoiler if you haven't gone through that study yet, but that's, that's not what the study does. The study certainly talks about how to discern God's will. It, it talks about his word, about his spirit, about his people, the same things we've talked about today. But really my big take home from that study is sometimes you just don't know for sure and God is more concerned with how you step through the door than which one you pick. And I, I think of Romans 8 28, you know, verse, the Christians' love for many reasons when we're going through something that's difficult. But I think it also applies to decision making. And it says, and we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.

Speaker 2 00:36:15 Yeah. One more verse to end with on this topic. It comes from Colossians three, verse 23. It says, work willingly at whatever you do as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people. So that's such a good, good way to think about it, work as unto the Lord. So you made a decision as unto the Lord. You really tried to make the right decision as unto the Lord. And now you're gonna work to make that decision work as unto the Lord.

Speaker 2 00:37:51 Yeah. Because again, God is of forgiving and gracious God, he knows you're gonna make some poor decisions. He knows you're gonna make the wrong call. But not making a decision is also making a decision. Yeah. And it's the wrong decision, . So don't, don't do that. You know, be willing. God's a gracious God. You're, we're all, we're always gonna be learning as we make decisions in life. And if we're, again, if we're staying submitted to God in His word and his spirit, his people, then we're gonna get more of the decisions right than wrong. And God, like you said, John Romans 8 28, God's gonna use all of it for his glory if we're, if we're committed to him and if we're following him. So young men listening, you can steal this, you can use this. This is from my dad. Make a decision, make it work. If you wanna talk about this with your men's group, with your accountability group with a mentor, you can find all these resources@pursuegod.org slash men. And make sure to join us next time on the Pursue God Men's podcast.