ADHD Coach Katherine Sanders

### Show Notes for "Daily Practices for Stress Relief" Podcast Episode: 2024 Q1 M2 Wk 2 - ADHD & Stress - Daily Management

#### Episode Overview:

In this week’s episode, we delve into the silent yet formidable challenge of chronic stress, particularly how it intersects with ADHD. Chronic stress is a major health risk, linked to the six leading causes of death. For those with ADHD, stress not only exacerbates mental health issues but also impacts overall wellbeing. Through this conversation, we aim to unpack the daily stressors for individuals with ADHD and provide practical strategies for managing stress on a day-to-day basis.

#### Last Week Recap:

We revisited ADHD and emotional dysregulation, exploring the neuroscience behind our emotions and why those with ADHD may experience heightened dysregulation. Key points included sudden mood changes, intense emotional reactions, and the significant impact these have on professional and personal relationships, especially as women approach perimenopause.

💡🧠 What you'll learn about in this episode:

Understanding the health risks associated with chronic stress and its heightened impact on individuals with ADHD. How ADHD exacerbates stress through unique challenges in executive function, time management, and emotional regulation.

- A look at how our bodies respond to stress, including the role of cortisol and adrenaline, and how ADHD affects this response.

- Differentiating between stress that motivates and stress that debilitates, with a focus on the ADHD experience.

- ADHD-Specific Stressors:Identifying common stressors for those with ADHD and strategies for managing them, such as simplifying executive function demands and avoiding multitasking.

- How stress feeds into and amplifies emotional dysregulation in ADHD, creating a challenging feedback loop.

-Tips for reducing stress, including exercise, mindfulness, and improving metacognition.

- Recognizing and avoiding harmful resilience patterns that can exacerbate stress and lead to burnout.

- The potential physical and mental health consequences of unmanaged stress.

-Techniques for recognizing and addressing the unique stressors in one’s life, including journaling and mindfulness.

Let me know how you're going to use this information to lighten the load of your invisible backpack. Share your thoughts, experiences, and progress with and consider how you might help someone else understand their stress better. Together, we can tackle the challenge of ADHD and stress, one stone at a time.

Connect with Katherine here:

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Barkley, R. A. (2015). Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder: A Handbook for Diagnosis and Treatment (4th ed.). Guilford Press.  

Nigg, J. T. (2006). What Causes ADHD? Understanding What Goes Wrong and Why. Guilford Press.  

Sapolsky, R. M. (2004) Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers: The Acclaimed Guide to Stress, Stress-Related Diseases, and Coping (3rd ed.). St. Martin's Griffin.  

Arnsten, A. F. T. (2009)  "Stress signalling pathways that impair prefrontal cortex structure and function." Nature Reviews Neuroscience, 10(6), 410-422.  

Tuckman, A. (2009). More Attention, Less Deficit: Success Strategies for Adults with ADHD. Specialty Press/A.D.D. Warehouse.  

Halperin, J. M., & Healey, D. M. (2011) "The influences of environmental enrichment, cognitive enhancement, and physical exercise on brain development: Can we alter the developmental trajectory of ADHD?" Neuroscience & Biobehavioral Reviews, 35(3), 621-634.  

  Siegmann, P., Teismann, T., Fritsch, N., Forkmann, T., Glaesmer, H., & Zhang, X. C. (2019). "Resilience to suicide ideation: A cross-cultural test of the buffering hypothesis." Clinical Psychology & Psychotherapy, 26(1), 1-9.  

Graziano, P. A., & Garcia, A. (2016). "Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder and children's emotion dysregulation: A meta-analysis." Clinical Psychology Review, 46, 106-123.  

Mikami, A. Y., Smit, S., Khalis, A. (2020). "The Social Lives of Children with ADHD: A Systematic Review." Journal of Attention Disorders, 24(2), 152-173.  

Lupien, S. J., McEwen, B. S., Gunnar, M. R., Heim, C. (2009). "Effects of stress throughout the lifespan on the brain, behaviour and cognition." Nature Reviews Neuroscience, 10(6), 434-445.  

Knouse, L. E., & Safren, S. A. (2010). "Current status of cognitive behavioral therapy for adult attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder." Psychiatric Clinics of North America, 33(3), 497-509.  

Saccaro LF, Schilliger Z, Perroud N, Piguet C. Inflammation, Anxiety, and Stress in Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder. Biomedicines. 2021 Sep 24;9(10):1313. doi: 10.3390/biomedicines9101313. PMID: 34680430; PMCID: PMC8533349.

Young, S., & Bramham, J. (2007). ADHD in Adults: A Psychological Guide to Practice. Wiley.  

Faraone, S. V., Asherson, P., Banaschewski, T., Biederman, J., Buitelaar, J. K., Ramos-Quiroga, J. A., Rohde, L. A., Sonuga-Barke, E. J. S., Tannock, R., Franke, B. (2015). "Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder." Nature Reviews Disease Primers, 1, 15020.  

Gerlach, M., Banaschewski, T., Coghill, D., Rohde, L. A., Romanos, M. (2010)."Psychosocial interventions for ADHD: A systematic literature review and meta-analysis." Journal of Attention Disorders, 14*(5), 420-437.  

Taylor, S. E., & Stanton, A. L. (2007). "Coping resources, coping processes, and mental health." Annual Review of Clinical Psychology, 3, 377-401.  

 Vrijsen JN, Tendolkar I, Onnink M, Hoogman M, Schene AH, Fernández G, van Oostrom I, Franke B. ADHD symptoms in healthy adults are associated with stressful life events and negative memory bias. Atten Defic Hyperact Disord. 2018 Jun;10(2):151-160. doi: 10.1007/s12402-017-0241-x. Epub 2017 Oct 28. PMID: 29081022; PMCID: PMC5973996.

Speaker: 00:00:00

RODE NT-USB & Susan's iphone (work) Camera:

welcome back.

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My friend, it is time for this

week's ADHD, powerful possibilities.

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I am . ADHD coach Catherine, And this

week we are looking at ADHD and stress.

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When I called chronic stress, the silent

assassin in a recent social media post.

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a friend of mine said.

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don't you think you're being a

bit, "click-bait-y" are you being

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a bit of a sensationalist here?

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I really want to keep things grounded

in fact, and avoid the kind of

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sensational headlines that I see.

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Big podcasters and media people using

when they're trying to get listeners.

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Is it accurate to call chronic

stress, a silent assassin?

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I would argue that, yes it is.

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It's one of the biggest problems

that we face as a society today.

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And for people with ADHD, I

would go further and say it's

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more of a problem for us.

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Because we're permanently in a state

of chronic stress, unless we're

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actively taking steps to deal with it.

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So let's look at what is stress,

how does it affect people with ADHD?

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What can we do about it?

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And as usual, there will be journal

articles and references that

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you can find in the show notes.

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What does chronic stress do to your body?

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According to the APA chronic stress

is linked to the six major causes

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of death in the west at the moment.

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Heart disease, cancer, lung disease.

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Accidents liver cirrhosis.

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And unfortunately.

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Taking of one's own life.

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I don't want to use the term

because it will cause algorithms

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to go off, but unaliving is.

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the way that young people

talk about it today.

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The unique impact of ADHD can

mean that everyday life in itself

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becomes a chronic stressor.

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And that means that we are much

more vulnerable to these impacts.

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And adults with ADHD are twice

as likely to be diabetic.

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Than people without ADHD.

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Although chronic stress may not.

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Directly.

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Cause diabetes.

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I'll explain later why?

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I think it is particularly

important for people with ADHD.

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To be aware of how it can

affect your health long term.

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we tend to think of stress as affecting

our mental health Our well being, our

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level of anxiety and so on, but it has

a real physical effect and I want you

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to be aware that your mental health

and your physical health are connected.

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Throughout your life, but

especially as you get older,

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So today we're going to look at stress.

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We're going to unpack what it is, how

it affects us physically, mentally.

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The connection with ADHD and more

importantly, what we can do about it.

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As always.

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At the end of the programme, there will be

takeaways that you can start to use today.

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And last week we began by looking

at ADHD and emotional dysregulation.

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A quick recap, emotional dysregulation.

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Can be experienced as sudden mood changes.

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An intense, emotional reaction.

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Having problems calming down after

we've been really stressed and upset.

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And it also can affect your

personal and professional

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performance at home and at work.

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Emotional dysregulation

can occur at any time.

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It's something we experienced

through our whole life.

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Lots of people were told.

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You're just a bit emotional.

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You're too sensitive.

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Get over it.

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So, if you want to know more

about emotional dysregulation,

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RSD how emotions are formed,

what the pathway is in your body.

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Jump back to last week after this episode.

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One of the reasons I wanted to have

a little episode looking at stress.

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is because our emotions.

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Can be triggered by

stressors in the environment.

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The external stimuli, the internal

stimuli that lead to emotions.

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Are described as stressors.

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So while you're learning to

notice, what affects your

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focus, your energy, your sleep.

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We're also going to start to look at

what's affecting your individual stress

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response and what can you do about it?

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Ideally, we're going to get

those stress bunnies into line.

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So that they're not running around

and spoiling your nice garden.

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But it takes time.

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There are no quick solutions.

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There's no one cool trick that

I'm going to share with you today.

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But I am going to give you

the facts that you need.

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And some tools that you can

choose to play with later on.

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And I want to reassure you.

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This doesn't mean you

need to mask or hide.

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Any kind of unhealthy resilience.

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There's none of that.

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It's really about going beyond,

needing to mask and needing to

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feel that you have to be resilient.

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We want to design a life.

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Where that is not required.

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Let's imagine that you have a backpack

on your back and it's got rocks in it.

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These rocks are every challenge

that you have throughout the day

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every demand upon your focus,

upon your energy upon your time.

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And if you have ADHD, you're

already starting with a backpack.

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That's more than half full.

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Just because of the way

that your brain works.

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And not only are those stones heavier,

but they can be added to or taken away.

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unpredictably or at least

it feels unpredictable.

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And although you can't take

the backpack off completely.

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Unlike some gurus, I'm not suggesting that

we all go off and live in the forest and

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have this wonderful organic lifestyle,

which would be really nice for many of us.

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It's just not practical.

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So the backpack has to stay on

so that we can manage stress

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and events in our daily life.

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But can we reinforce the straps?

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Can we make it more

comfortable on your shoulders?

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Can you build up your muscles so that

you don't even feel the backpack anymore?

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And is there a way to keep

the rocks from going in?

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Or can we make the rocks that

you have to pick up smaller.

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Think about your backpack as

we go through this episode.

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And I'm going to start asking you to think

about the rocks that you're carrying and

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the ones that are being added every day.

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Let's look at the science of stress.

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Stress is just a response

to our environment.

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When we see something as a challenge.

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or a threat.

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: 00:05:45

Our body releases, chemicals,

neurotransmitters, like

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adrenaline and cortisol.

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These get us ready to fight flight

freeze, or there's another one

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that some people add, fawn or fib.

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Whichever one you want to use.

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But basically your brain is

saying I'm going to keep you

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alive for as long as possible.

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And that means you need

to be ready to run.

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So here are some chemicals that

will make your muscles go faster.

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Make your heart beat faster.

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Turn off your digestion a little

bit and get your brain focused

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to move you out of harm's way.

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If you go back to the episode, talking

about emotions I go into detail about

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the pathway that all these messages

get passed through in your brain.

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If you think about being late

for a meeting, being late for

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a Drop off at school, being

late for an important deadline.

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Your heart starts to pound.

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You maybe start to sweat

your hands, get damp.

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And clammy.

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Maybe feel a bit sick.

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This is the impact of stress being felt

in a short time frame on your body.

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Now The NHS in the UK?

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says stress can make you irritable angry.

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Can make you feel worried, tearful.

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It can sometimes make us feel hopeless

or scared if it goes on for too long.

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It can also make it

hard to make decisions.

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Now is this starting to sound a little

bit like what we experience with ADHD?

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If your thoughts are racing,

you're struggling to make decisions

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and you're feeling overwhelmed.

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How are you going to

determine if it's just ADHD?

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Or if it's a stress in your

environment, in your current situation.

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You might want to look at some

of the physical reactions.

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that can go with it in the short

term things like racing pulse.

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A headache, Lots of us have had

those headaches that last all day.

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And it can be caused by stress.

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Stress because our muscles are tight.

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Our shoulders are tight

our neck is cramping up.

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So you could have a physical

sign that can help you determine

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is it stress, or is it ADHD?

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But the point is that the

overlap is already there.

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So it's important to manage

stress and be proactive about it

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The reason that stress and ADHD are such

a toxic combination is that we already

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have a different background level.

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or base level, if you like

of neurotransmitters like

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dopamine cortisol, adrenaline.

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Our brain releases these in

an attenuated or lower way.

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Somebody described it once.

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as playing a game in hard mode from

the beginning without realising.

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And as somebody who came to

computer games late in life, I

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always go for the easy option.

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I will never choose to play in hard

mode because I find that off putting.

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And I do think many of us with ADHD.

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Feel like we just can't win.

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And a lot of that is down to stress.

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If you're already struggling

with dopamine, norepinephrine,

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cortisol, adrenaline.

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Imagine what happens let's say

you're a marketing executive.

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You have got a big deadline for a new

client, your project isn't finished.

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And you're struggling to gather

all the resources together.

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what's your response going to be.

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Are you going to be calm.

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communicate clearly with your team.

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bring things together or are you

more likely to be running around,

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getting snappy with people, filling

your heart, maybe getting a bit fast,

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maybe even getting some chest pains.

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Which one of these are you

going to experience more?

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And if that becomes your norm, We tip

over into the area of chronic stress,

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which is very different from the positive

stress that I want to look at next.

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Stress can be a positive thing

don't need to spend too long

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on why stress can be positive.

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But if we have a lower background

level of adrenaline norepinephrine.

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dopamine, etc, When you have a short

emergency burst of adrenaline, you might

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find that your brain focuses more easily.

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And you suddenly can get things done.

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You see the solution to

the problem you take.

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Action It's one of the reasons

why many people with ADHD.

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find themselves in high pressure

environments, whether that is working

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in emergency services in medicine,

these kind of intense bursts of energy.

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wonderful for our brain.

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or at least they feel

wonderful to begin with.

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The thing that makes stress

positive is that it is short term.

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It is defined and there's a

problem that you can solve.

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If you are in a job with a lot

of pressure, a lot of stress.

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But you have very little

control over how that problem.

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is managed.

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That is going to eventually

turn into a chronic stressor.

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And one of the areas That's very

common for people with ADHD to

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experience chronic stress is at work.

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We may not have control over

the things that are affecting

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us on a day to day basis.

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Which is why home work relationships.

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parenting money problems.

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These all become sources of chronic

stress because we are not in control.

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We're not the only person involved.

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The circumstances may not be something

that we can manage in isolation.

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And of course.

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When we are stressed.

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The impact, all those things we've talked

about, struggling to focus, feeling

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overwhelmed, being to make decisions.

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These get worse.

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And they make your ADHD traits

feel worse, have more of an impact.

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And so it becomes this vicious cycle.

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The more overwhelmed you become the more

stressed you become, the more stressed you

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become, the more your ADHD, affects you.

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And then you get even more stressed.

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You can see where this is going.

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It's a vicious cycle that needs

managed and of course, support.

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If you add in.

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The higher rates of childhood

traumatic experiences and a more

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negative view of life of ourselves.

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A more ruminative state

of mind, if you like.

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That also means that people with ADHD are

more likely to experience chronic stress.

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So if you have ADHD, The impact

of identifying the chronic stress.

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The things that you can deal with

and that you can get support for

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and even learning to manage your

positive stress and identify it.

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Before it turns into something

that is burning you out.

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Can be a real game changer in

how we feel every day and how we

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manage when things do go off the

rails, because life happens right.

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The thing is that combination of

doing deep work of challenging

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the way we think about ourselves

the way we think about life?

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the way we look at challenges

that come up for us.

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Needs to be done along with the

everyday, the short term things

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like, what are we tolerating?

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Are we making sure we're

getting enough sleep?

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You need to do both of those

things to make a significant

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and long lasting change.

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And that might mean.

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I'm Taking a bit of time to stop looking

at new shiny objects and thinking.

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What do I need to address?

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now And in the long term, And

how am i going to do that.

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Let's have a look at the special stressors

that people with ADHD might experience.

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Think about your executive functions.

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People with ADHD, have a wide range.

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Of executive function challenges.

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Some people have amazing ability to

plan ahead and they can almost visualize

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how they're going to structure things.

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Some people have brilliant

time management skills.

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But they could not plan and

organise a holiday if you

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paid them thousands of pounds.

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They all fall into this general bucket.

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Which we call executive functions.

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And within those, you will find the

requirements for daily adult life.

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So even before we start to think about.

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Extra problems we're likely to

experience with money with family.

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You're starting from a higher

level of demand on a daily basis.

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Another problem that people with ADHD in

particular are likely to experience is.

264

: 00:13:18

The impact of multitasking.

265

: 00:13:20

Multitasking is never good for anybody.

266

: 00:13:23

And studies have shown even when people

think they're really good at multitasking.

267

: 00:13:27

They're not.

268

: 00:13:28

Multitasking.

269

: 00:13:29

feels really good with ADHD because it

feels like we're being very efficient.

270

: 00:13:33

We're getting extra things done at once.

271

: 00:13:35

Our brain is happy because

it's being allowed to attend to

272

: 00:13:39

different things at the same time.

273

: 00:13:41

And that is an extra bunch of rocks that

you're putting into your backpack because

274

: 00:13:47

you're dividing your brain already.

275

: 00:13:49

Almost across the board, ADHD

affects your time management.

276

: 00:13:53

And time is incredibly pressured

these days, we have deadlines.

277

: 00:13:58

We have demands.

278

: 00:13:59

And time if you're already struggling to

grasp it, to manage it, to understand it,

279

: 00:14:04

then that is an extra rock that goes into

your backpack from the start of your day.

280

: 00:14:10

I know a remarkable number of

people with ADHD who struggle

281

: 00:14:14

with auditory processing.

282

: 00:14:17

Now, that doesn't mean we can't hear.

283

: 00:14:19

It means that the processing of

instruction or information that comes

284

: 00:14:24

in through our ears takes longer to

turn into information that we can use.

285

: 00:14:30

For example, if I was in a classroom.

286

: 00:14:32

I need to be taking notes at the

same time as I'm listening because

287

: 00:14:37

then I can look at the notes and I

know what the person's been saying.

288

: 00:14:40

If you gave me directions to a

place and I didn't manage to write

289

: 00:14:45

them down I wouldn't remember them.

290

: 00:14:47

I can remember one or two steps

at most and this is really normal.

291

: 00:14:52

It's nothing to do with how intelligent

you are or how good your memory is.

292

: 00:14:55

It's just Information that comes in that

way is more difficult for us to retain

293

: 00:15:00

this week, it's been very windy and stormy

in Scotland, and I felt It was incredibly

294

: 00:15:06

tense for no new reason and it was just

the sound of the wind outside that was

295

: 00:15:12

making my brain feel really on edge.

296

: 00:15:14

So when we're thinking about emotions

and emotional dysregulation and stress,

297

: 00:15:19

I hope you can see how the impact of

stress is going to affect your emotions

298

: 00:15:23

and lead very quickly into emotional

dysregulation if we're unaware.

299

: 00:15:28

of what's happening

300

: 00:15:29

Stress doesn't just add extra

rocks into your backpack, which is

301

: 00:15:33

already half full because of ADHD.

302

: 00:15:36

It amplifies the impact, because it

increases your cortisol, and the more of

303

: 00:15:41

these neurotransmitters like adrenaline

and cortisol that we have, the more things

304

: 00:15:46

like focus, attention, problem solving,

the executive functions are affected.

305

: 00:15:52

And so the more stressed we become, we

really quickly end up in this vicious

306

: 00:15:57

circle of being really stressed.

307

: 00:15:59

Our ADHD feels worse.

308

: 00:16:01

We have a harder time doing things

that makes our stress worse.

309

: 00:16:05

And you can see how it.

310

: 00:16:06

It really starts to get out of

control, which is why overwhelm and

311

: 00:16:11

just paralysis happens so often.

312

: 00:16:13

And I'm not talking about physical

paralysis, although we can experience

313

: 00:16:17

it as an inability to move.

314

: 00:16:19

But that mental block of not being able

to do a single thing and that feeling

315

: 00:16:23

of just everything being too much.

316

: 00:16:25

Intimately connected between your

emotional dysregulation and the

317

: 00:16:29

amount of stress that is in your life.

318

: 00:16:32

Of course, the stress that's in your life.

319

: 00:16:34

Ripples out.

320

: 00:16:34

It goes through your workplace,

it goes through your home, it

321

: 00:16:38

goes through your friendships.

322

: 00:16:39

And we know how important social

connection is for people with ADHD.

323

: 00:16:44

But if you're permanently stressed,

anxious, and you're maybe, like me,

324

: 00:16:48

a bit snappy when you're on edge.

325

: 00:16:50

When you've got a lot to handle.

326

: 00:16:52

That can make social connection

much harder to maintain.

327

: 00:16:56

You might feel you're too busy.

328

: 00:16:58

To make time, to cultivate friendships,

to spend time with your loved ones

329

: 00:17:03

without anything else going on.

330

: 00:17:04

So the impact of stress goes

through your whole life and then

331

: 00:17:08

goes out into society as a whole.

332

: 00:17:11

Because of our heightened sensitivity

to stress and the impact it

333

: 00:17:15

has on us, what are the really

quick things that you can do?

334

: 00:17:18

The first one obviously is exercise,

and by exercise a walk around the block,

335

: 00:17:23

anything that gets your heart rate up

to a, what they call zone two, where

336

: 00:17:27

you can still have a conversation but

you're feeling like you're moving.

337

: 00:17:31

And for me that doesn't have to

be very much these days because

338

: 00:17:34

I'm quite unfit at the moment.

339

: 00:17:35

But exercise has a It has an

incredible effect on everybody's

340

: 00:17:40

brain and our cortisol levels, etc.

341

: 00:17:43

But especially if you have ADHD.

342

: 00:17:45

So try to make that

something you have every day.

343

: 00:17:47

The other thing that you

can do is introduce a very

344

: 00:17:50

short Mindfulness practice.

345

: 00:17:52

And this isn't a 45 minute scan of your

body and dwelling on all of your thoughts

346

: 00:17:57

and examining them and things like that.

347

: 00:17:59

It's literally learning to manage your

breathing in a way that can allow you

348

: 00:18:04

to reduce that tension and stress.

349

: 00:18:06

We'll come back to that.

350

: 00:18:08

Before we go on to more ways that you

can manage stress, because we don't

351

: 00:18:12

want to get rid of stress completely.

352

: 00:18:14

It's actually a positive and

helpful thing for most people.

353

: 00:18:17

Let's talk about stress.

354

: 00:18:18

This resilience which has gone

too far, toxic resilience.

355

: 00:18:22

Now, I know many people with

ADHD are incredibly resilient.

356

: 00:18:26

We keep going.

357

: 00:18:28

We have an almost insatiable

need to solve the problem.

358

: 00:18:32

And it's one of the reasons why we

end up in business for ourselves.

359

: 00:18:35

It's one of the reasons why people with

ADHD can be a huge gift in your workplace,

360

: 00:18:40

if you're an employer listening to this.

361

: 00:18:42

People with ADHD will keep going

till they solve that problem.

362

: 00:18:45

But it can come at a cost to themselves.

363

: 00:18:48

When you are feeling burnt out

and overwhelmed, it may be that

364

: 00:18:52

you have strayed too close to this

kind of toxic level of resilience.

365

: 00:18:56

And what does that look like?

366

: 00:18:58

How are you going to spot it?

367

: 00:18:59

How do you know if you've gone

too far in this resilience

368

: 00:19:03

trait that is so normal in ADHD?

369

: 00:19:06

You could be ignoring signs of

burnout, which we talked about before.

370

: 00:19:10

It could be that you are working late.

371

: 00:19:12

Every single night instead

of one or two nights a month.

372

: 00:19:16

It could mean you're not making time

for activities that you enjoy and

373

: 00:19:20

which are, in quotes, not productive

or not related to your work.

374

: 00:19:24

And this is a really common trap for

high achievers with ADHD or people

375

: 00:19:29

who are self employed entrepreneurs.

376

: 00:19:31

They push and push.

377

: 00:19:33

and then they burn out because

they've ignored these signs.

378

: 00:19:36

Let's pause and I want you to

answer these five questions.

379

: 00:19:40

Are you ignoring your

limits, physical or mental?

380

: 00:19:43

Are you somebody who's

glorifying overwork?

381

: 00:19:46

Has it become a badge of honour

to work 60 or 70 hours a week?

382

: 00:19:50

Are you neglecting your emotional health?

383

: 00:19:53

Do you have somebody that

you can regularly connect

384

: 00:19:56

with and express things to?

385

: 00:19:58

Have you lost the boundary

between your work and your life?

386

: 00:20:02

Is there any balance left?

387

: 00:20:03

And do you recognise that you are

working at a level that is not

388

: 00:20:08

sustainable but continue to do so anyway?

389

: 00:20:11

If you can answer yes to most

of these questions, please take

390

: 00:20:15

care of yourself, because that is

very close to burnout territory.

391

: 00:20:20

It might not happen emotionally, but

physically the effect of that much

392

: 00:20:25

stress is going to come home eventually.

393

: 00:20:27

And what happens if we just ignore

the stress, or we try to manage

394

: 00:20:32

it in a way that isn't helpful?

395

: 00:20:33

I mentioned earlier the physical

impact of chronic stress according

396

: 00:20:38

to the APA, and it's really scary.

397

: 00:20:41

And I don't use that word very

often, but it is, genuinely.

398

: 00:20:43

Things that you would imagine, like

anxiety and depression, are more

399

: 00:20:48

common, but also heart disease,

cancer, lung disease, liver cirrhosis.

400

: 00:20:54

More likely to have high blood

pressure, which is the silent killer.

401

: 00:20:57

You're more likely to have

strokes, sleep problems.

402

: 00:21:00

You're more likely to gain weight.

403

: 00:21:02

And, of course, you'll

have problems with memory.

404

: 00:21:04

And we suspect there's a connection

between stress and things like dementia.

405

: 00:21:09

Stress changes our behaviour.

406

: 00:21:11

Because we adapt our behaviour

to deal with the stress.

407

: 00:21:15

We're more likely to smoke, to overeat,

to eat a more refined type of diet,

408

: 00:21:21

we're more likely to consume alcohol

or other things if we're dealing with

409

: 00:21:25

stress in a less constructive way.

410

: 00:21:28

And we know that job pressure with a

limited capacity for solving problems

411

: 00:21:34

if you're not in charge of your

decisions, that's a higher risk

412

: 00:21:37

for coronary heart disease.

413

: 00:21:39

Stress even depresses your immune

system, so you're more likely to get

414

: 00:21:43

sick from all the viruses that are

going around today and that makes

415

: 00:21:48

it harder to recover from illness.

416

: 00:21:50

And in today's world that

may mean economic problems

417

: 00:21:53

because you're not working.

418

: 00:21:54

And of course we know that

money problems feed into stress.

419

: 00:21:58

It's very easy to fall into a cycle

of absolutely feeling trapped by

420

: 00:22:03

the amount of stress in your life.

421

: 00:22:05

And before, when I talked about diabetes

and stress, there are three reasons why I

422

: 00:22:10

think stress and diabetes are connected.

423

: 00:22:12

The first is hormones.

424

: 00:22:14

If you are stressed, your body is

going to release hormones to deal

425

: 00:22:18

with it, so you'll have more glucose

in your bloodstream for you to run

426

: 00:22:21

away from the tiger or the bear.

427

: 00:22:23

But over time, if that keeps

happening, your blood sugar is

428

: 00:22:27

going to be permanently raised.

429

: 00:22:30

And that means you're going to become

insulin resistant, which is what leads

430

: 00:22:34

to type 2 diabetes for many people.

431

: 00:22:36

The other way stress can lead to

diabetes is it affects our behaviour.

432

: 00:22:40

And of course there's the inflammatory

response over time, that is also going

433

: 00:22:45

to affect how your body responds to

insulin all of these factors together,

434

: 00:22:50

to me, suggest that diabetes, which

we are already at risk for, with

435

: 00:22:54

ADHD, is connected with stress.

436

: 00:22:57

Let's take a moment and look

at how you can identify what's

437

: 00:23:01

causing stress in your life.

438

: 00:23:03

And obviously, this can feel overwhelming

if you are in a place where everything

439

: 00:23:08

is stressful and you're burnt out.

440

: 00:23:10

The first thing I do when I want to do

a brain dump and work out what's causing

441

: 00:23:14

me stress is to relax my body first.

442

: 00:23:17

So I begin by taking a deep breath

in through my nose, making sure

443

: 00:23:21

it's inflating my tummy, and then

breathing out through my mouth.

444

: 00:23:24

And while I'm doing that, I'm

noticing Where am I holding tension?

445

: 00:23:28

For me, it's usually my

shoulders and my neck.

446

: 00:23:31

Sometimes it's in my jaw.

447

: 00:23:32

If you notice that any of those areas

feel tight just now, give them a

448

: 00:23:36

little wiggle, and gently soften them.

449

: 00:23:39

Imagine nice, soft, warm light on all of

those tense, tight muscles, especially in

450

: 00:23:45

your neck, your shoulders, and your jaw.

451

: 00:23:47

And once I've deliberately relaxed

my muscles, It's easier to face

452

: 00:23:52

the things that are causing

stress, the rest of the pile.

453

: 00:23:56

Because I've told my body, it's okay,

we're going to think about these

454

: 00:24:00

things, but right now, we're safe,

we're just going to make a list.

455

: 00:24:03

Think about, are you

over committing at work?

456

: 00:24:06

Are you saying yes to too many projects?

457

: 00:24:09

Is there a project or an event

coming up at work that you

458

: 00:24:12

are trying to manage alone?

459

: 00:24:13

Is there a project or an event that

you are trying to manage on your own?

460

: 00:24:18

Is a member of your family or one

of your friends having a hard time?

461

: 00:24:21

And you're worried about them, you're

concerned, you want to help, but there's

462

: 00:24:25

maybe not very much you feel you can do.

463

: 00:24:27

Are you carrying that with you?

464

: 00:24:29

Instead of trying to write down

everything at once, take a moment at

465

: 00:24:33

the end of the day and just check What

was causing me the most stress today?

466

: 00:24:37

Now, I have to say, in my personal

practice, I tie this with three

467

: 00:24:41

things that I'm grateful for,

or three things that gave me

468

: 00:24:43

joy, so I try to balance it out.

469

: 00:24:45

But, is there something in

particular that is causing you

470

: 00:24:48

stress that you can write down?

471

: 00:24:49

Now you've identified the type of

stress you're experiencing, and what's

472

: 00:24:53

causing it, how do you address it?

473

: 00:24:55

This is really complicated because it

depends on your circumstances, the thing

474

: 00:25:00

that's causing stress, and how much

agency or control you have over it.

475

: 00:25:06

And one of the things I think

causes most stress is when we

476

: 00:25:10

feel we don't have any agency.

477

: 00:25:12

It's something that's been imposed

on us, and we can't get rid of it.

478

: 00:25:15

If you can't remove the source

of the stress, there are ways

479

: 00:25:20

to think differently about that.

480

: 00:25:22

You might choose to set a boundary for

yourself and say, I'm going to think about

481

: 00:25:27

this situation for five to ten minutes.

482

: 00:25:30

If I haven't come up with something that

I can do practically, then I'm going to

483

: 00:25:34

I'm going to put a pin in it and leave it

for another day because I can't change it.

484

: 00:25:39

And sometimes acknowledging that lack

of control and saying, I can't do

485

: 00:25:43

anything about it, it's causing me

harm, I'm not letting go of it, but I'm

486

: 00:25:47

going to leave it to one side can help.

487

: 00:25:49

You might also find that you come up

with a phrase or a mantra and Dana

488

: 00:25:54

Maher, who is a fantastic coach in the

States and who taught me, came up with

489

: 00:25:59

this phrase especially for parents I

can't care more about this than you do.

490

: 00:26:04

So if you have a teenager who's maybe

thinking about exams, you maybe have

491

: 00:26:08

a partner who's stressed out at work,

if you are taking on their stress, if

492

: 00:26:13

you are taking on too much of the thing

that they need to do but aren't doing.

493

: 00:26:18

That phrase can help you to

set a boundary for yourself.

494

: 00:26:22

I can't care more about this than you do.

495

: 00:26:25

Because it hurts us in the long term.

496

: 00:26:28

You might also, if you're spending

a lot of time in your head with

497

: 00:26:31

stress, want to spend a bit more

time connecting with your body in a

498

: 00:26:35

way that is pleasant and relaxing.

499

: 00:26:38

Exercise doesn't have to be strenuous.

500

: 00:26:40

It can be a gentle walk around the park.

501

: 00:26:44

I especially love a walk in nature

for dealing with stress because it

502

: 00:26:48

is shown time and time again to have

positive impact on your mental health.

503

: 00:26:53

I'm sure I'm not the only one who

remembers the TikTok trend of going for a

504

: 00:26:57

stupid walk for your stupid mental health.

505

: 00:26:59

There's a reason that was so popular

because people recognized that it

506

: 00:27:03

was actually helping, even if we

set out with a level of frustration.

507

: 00:27:08

You might find that there are gentle yoga

practices or somatic forms of exercise

508

: 00:27:13

that release the tension in your muscles

without having to think about it too much.

509

: 00:27:18

And these can be very beneficial

to lower your levels of

510

: 00:27:21

cortisol and stress overall.

511

: 00:27:23

Because the thing is, if your body is

ready for fight or flight, you're going

512

: 00:27:28

to struggle to find creative ways to solve

the other problems at work, at home try

513

: 00:27:34

monitoring your stress levels through

the day and you could do this really

514

: 00:27:38

simply with a piece of paper and give

1 to 10, how stressed are you feeling.

515

: 00:27:44

Set an alarm on your phone, check

in every hour, every couple of

516

: 00:27:47

hours, so that you're beginning to

identify the peaks and troughs of

517

: 00:27:50

stress and energy throughout the day.

518

: 00:27:52

If you notice that your state

has changed, is there a cause?

519

: 00:27:57

Is there a circumstance?

520

: 00:27:59

And how is that affecting your mood?

521

: 00:28:00

Because quite often, after a

long time with chronic stress,

522

: 00:28:04

we don't recognise it, anymore.

523

: 00:28:06

It just becomes this

wall of background noise.

524

: 00:28:09

And once you've identified what

is causing your stress, you

525

: 00:28:12

might need to take some action.

526

: 00:28:14

This is where you need to have a team,

and if you live with other people,

527

: 00:28:18

whether you're related to them or not,

you might want to discuss with them

528

: 00:28:22

things that are causing you stress.

529

: 00:28:23

We'll come to communication in future

because I think there are ways to

530

: 00:28:27

do it, but look at how much you're

actually doing on a daily basis

531

: 00:28:32

and ask, I need help with this.

532

: 00:28:34

Who will take this on?

533

: 00:28:35

Whether that is being the person who

notices when the milk has run out, see

534

: 00:28:39

if somebody else can manage that for you.

535

: 00:28:42

If you live on your own there are going

to be people who can do that for you.

536

: 00:28:46

Yes, it's probably something you might

need to pay for, but for example I

537

: 00:28:50

pay a bookkeeper because But it's

a level of stress I don't need, and

538

: 00:28:54

an area that is not my strength.

539

: 00:28:56

So I pay somebody to do that, and

they're very good . Hello Harriet.

540

: 00:28:59

But, list out all your commitments,

look at your priorities, Are these

541

: 00:29:04

things overwhelming your actual

priorities and what can you get rid of?

542

: 00:29:09

There's going to be some things you've

taken on that are no longer serving you.

543

: 00:29:13

There are going to be some things

that are not your responsibility

544

: 00:29:16

that someone else can take on.

545

: 00:29:18

There are going to be things that are your

responsibility someone can help you with.

546

: 00:29:22

And then there are going to be things

that you either need to bless and

547

: 00:29:26

let go, or give yourself enough

mental space, thinking space, to

548

: 00:29:31

come up with a different solution.

549

: 00:29:33

One of the reasons I go to my coach,

I get stuck, I can't see a way around

550

: 00:29:37

it, I go talk to him and we come up

with a solution, but he's fantastic

551

: 00:29:41

at giving me that space to think

552

: 00:29:43

of course.

553

: 00:29:44

Not all coping mechanisms are as healthy?

554

: 00:29:47

Unhealthy coping mechanisms tend

to give you short term relief.

555

: 00:29:50

They feel good for five to ten

minutes, then everything else kicks in.

556

: 00:29:55

So it might be that you have spent

impulsively it might be that you Eat

557

: 00:29:59

something that gives you a quick whoosh of

glucose, which makes your brain feel happy

558

: 00:30:04

in the short term, and then a sharp dive.

559

: 00:30:07

It may be alcohol, or something else

that allows you to numb out because

560

: 00:30:11

the chronic stress is just too much.

561

: 00:30:14

And because of ADHD, we're more

susceptible to these addictive types of

562

: 00:30:19

behavior because the dopamine is already

lower and we're looking for more rewards.

563

: 00:30:25

We need more rewards more often to feel

as good in our brain as the average human.

564

: 00:30:31

And that's why we need to be really

cautious around these unhealthy

565

: 00:30:35

quick fix solutions for stress.

566

: 00:30:37

Where else can you look for help apart

from these unhealthy coping strategies?

567

: 00:30:42

We've talked about exercise.

568

: 00:30:44

We've talked about identifying points

in your day when you feel stressed.

569

: 00:30:48

We've talked about using your body

to lower your stress levels before

570

: 00:30:52

you start to think about things.

571

: 00:30:53

Let's think about relationships.

572

: 00:30:55

Now, they can be a source of stress.

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: 00:30:57

Generally, the studies show that

having relationships and family

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: 00:31:01

connections can be a buffer.

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: 00:31:03

Not all of them, and I'm very aware that

for some people, family relationships are

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: 00:31:09

a source of significant pain and distress.

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: 00:31:12

Obviously that is not applicable, but

maybe you have good friends who can listen

578

: 00:31:17

and who can give you that thinking space.

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: 00:31:19

Maybe they have a different perspective

and as long as they're not doing

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: 00:31:23

it with any expectation of you

taking their advice and doing what

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: 00:31:27

you're told, it can be helpful.

582

: 00:31:29

Because then you can say no, I

don't want to try that solution.

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: 00:31:32

And they can say, OK.

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: 00:31:34

It can actually help you to

think through how you're going to

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: 00:31:38

resolve these long term stressors.

586

: 00:31:39

And the other thing that you can

do is start to incorporate little

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: 00:31:43

mindful moments throughout the day.

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: 00:31:45

These might not feel like they're having a

big impact to begin with, but taking a few

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: 00:31:51

moments to pause, the kettle's boiling,

just concentrate on the steam coming up.

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: 00:31:57

Allow your breath to

return to a normal rate.

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: 00:32:00

Focus on that instead of all the

stuff you've got to do in advance.

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: 00:32:03

These mindful moments build up

throughout the day, over time, that

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: 00:32:07

lower cortisol reduces the impact on

your physical health, it allows you to

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: 00:32:12

come up with more creative solutions

to the things that are weighing on you.

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: 00:32:16

And one that is incredibly

powerful is the pause.

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: 00:32:19

I'm going to come back to that in

a couple of weeks when we look at

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: 00:32:22

a toolkit for emotional regulation.

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: 00:32:24

But, taking a moment before you

respond, and you might want to shout

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: 00:32:28

and react, that's actually just going

to create more cortisol, and you're

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: 00:32:33

going to inflict it on other people,

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: 00:32:34

it's like pouring.

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: 00:32:36

on to a fire, it very rarely

works to resolve the situation.

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: 00:32:41

Try to pause for a moment before you

respond and that in itself is telling

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: 00:32:46

your brain, this isn't an emergency,

it can take a minute to think.

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: 00:32:50

Everything's okay.

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: 00:32:51

And then your solution, your response

is going to be better for everyone.

607

: 00:32:55

And if you can, commit to some

form of exercise every day.

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: 00:32:59

I know I talk about it every week.

609

: 00:33:01

But the endorphins we get from

exercise are incredibly good

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: 00:33:05

for you in terms of your mood.

611

: 00:33:07

Your feeling of well being, how you

respond to the challenges, because we

612

: 00:33:11

can't get rid of the backpack completely,

but the endorphins help to shrink

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: 00:33:16

it, so you can't take on too much.

614

: 00:33:18

I should say that there comes a point

where you need to get professional help,

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: 00:33:23

and if it's affecting you so much you've

developed, signs of depression or anxiety,

616

: 00:33:29

you're really not sleeping at night and

you've not experienced any enjoyment in

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: 00:33:34

your usual activities for two or three

weeks or more, please go and see your

618

: 00:33:37

doctor and get referred to somebody

like a psychologist, a counsellor.

619

: 00:33:42

Get help sooner rather than later because

the long term impact on your physical and

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: 00:33:48

mental health isn't worth putting it off.

621

: 00:33:50

But remember, you have the power.

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: 00:33:53

to make changes in how

you respond to the stress.

623

: 00:33:56

Even if you can't empty the

backpack completely and we always

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: 00:34:00

have a certain amount of rocks in

there because of our ADHD, we can

625

: 00:34:04

choose to go for a daily walk too.

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: 00:34:07

Release some endorphins.

627

: 00:34:08

We can choose to make time every day

for what I call the non negotiable fun.

628

: 00:34:13

We can choose to make meaningful

connections and to have friendships with

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: 00:34:19

other people that feedback that wonderful

connection those conversations that

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: 00:34:25

allow us to laugh and to cope with the

challenges that everyone experiences.

631

: 00:34:32

You can learn what sets off your stress

response and how it affects your ADHD.

632

: 00:34:38

And I believe that you can do this.

633

: 00:34:40

And I believe that you can reduce the

number of stones that you allow to be

634

: 00:34:43

put into your backpack on a daily basis.

635

: 00:34:46

And the less we're carrying every

day, the more possibility we have

636

: 00:34:50

to reach a destination that is

really joyful and meaningful for us.

637

: 00:34:55

Let me know if you're going to apply

anything that we've talked about

638

: 00:34:58

today, what you recognise as the

source of your stress and how you're

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: 00:35:03

going to manage it going forward.

640

: 00:35:04

And if you know somebody who's stressed

or you've stressed and you've been living

641

: 00:35:08

with someone, can you share this episode

with them so they understand why they

642

: 00:35:12

need to take care of themselves too.

643

: 00:35:14

Maybe.

644

: 00:35:15

You can even work together.

645

: 00:35:16

And reduce the stress, whether

that's at home or at work.

646

: 00:35:20

Let me know what you're going to do

with this and come back next week when

647

: 00:35:23

we're going to do some myth busting

of ADHD because there's just too many

648

: 00:35:28

and it's causing a stress impact on

too many people we're going to address

649

: 00:35:32

the big myths in ADHD and why they're

affecting our emotions so much.

650

: 00:35:38

Don't forget to come back next

Wednesday for the next episode

651

: 00:35:40

of ADHD powerful possibilities.

652

: 00:35:43

I'm your friend ADHD

coach Catherine and it.

653

: 00:35:45

is a privilege to be with you every week.

654

: 00:35:48

So take care.