Difficult people.

We all have them in our life :)

How can we deal with people who are in our life but constantly make us feel uncomfortable ?

You can't cut them out because you are in a relation with them be it:

Family, friends group, work or some other dynamic.

It's so draining and annoying to deal with these people and usually the conflict situation take away tons of energy from the quality we could have had with people we love.

Here is what I have learnt over the years and how I try to deal with my annoying people in my life.

Much love and thank you so much for being here

this is the last episode of season 5 thank you endlessly for your ratings your reviews and your ongoing support. I appreciate you so much and am hoping to reach even more people around the globe..

we need each other

A.

Support this super cool and informative, advertise free show 

 ‘Buy me a coffee’ and send some appreciation my way

Click link below:  

https://www.buymeacoffee.com/auroraborealis

Thank you !!!!

I’m very excited to guide you closer to your real, authentic self. 

My vision is to support your growth.

This is a place where you can recharge your batteries, reconnect to yourself, 

really get to know yourself and find out what steps you can take to untangle

yourself from a situation you don’t wish to be in. I invite you to get to know yourself better in order for you to make the right choices for yourself in the future.

Learn more at

www.auroraeggertcoaching.com

Join the Yurt Experience -Yoga Classes and Coaching here 

https://app.ubindi.com/Aurora.Eggert

https://auroraeggertcoaching.com/the-yurt-experience-pincher-creek-ab-canada/?frame-nonce=ee3276b5d1&amp=1 

Free yourself from the ongoing destructive inner chatter become the strongest most authentic version of yourself.

Let’s dive in and find out more about this juicy topic that will most likely affect you in one way or another. 

In this episode and many other episodes I touch on topics that I usually work on with my clients. Here in my podcast it will be targeted to a broad spectrum of people. If you'd like to go more into depth with a topic I address, reach out to me.

If you love what you learned, be sure to hit that follow button so you never miss a future episode, and make sure to leave a review to help me reach more listeners just like you looking to follow their inner truth. 

Find the episode that suits your mood best here: 

https://the-borealis-experience.captivate.fm 

Give some love to the show and make it easier for people to find my podcast in leaving a review here

https://ratethispodcast.com/aurora

Do you need a one on one chat or regular meetings with me to stay accountable on your journey ?

Book a free 20 mins meeting with me 

Just message me on:

https://auroraeggertcoaching.com/contact/

And join 

https://www.facebook.com/auroraeggertcoaching/  

Have a podcast episode topic request ?

If I am missing a topic. Please sent me a topic request 

#wellbeing

#empowerment

#lifecoach

#newepisode 

#mentalhealth

#beyoufearlessly 

This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis:

Podcorn - https://podcorn.com/privacy

Unknown: 00:00:08

Hello, and welcome to the Borealis experience. I'm

Unknown: 00:00:13

your host Aurora, life coach, physiotherapist, yoga teacher,

Unknown: 00:00:21

animal lover.

Unknown: 00:00:23

How else would I describe myself? podcaster? Maybe? Yeah.

Unknown: 00:00:29

Very happy to be here with you and to spend some time with you.

Unknown: 00:00:34

Today we reached episode 40. From season five, I'm so excited

Unknown: 00:00:43

to Yeah, have you on board and for the people who have been

Unknown: 00:00:48

here ever since the start, thank you so much for being there for

Unknown: 00:00:53

your ongoing support. And for your reviews and ratings on

Unknown: 00:00:58

Apple podcast, it really helps to spread the word. My work here

Unknown: 00:01:04

is for free for you. I'm investing money. And I'm

Unknown: 00:01:11

creating this content for you to Yeah, have a space where you can

Unknown: 00:01:15

rest and relax and recharge your batteries. If ever you feel like

Unknown: 00:01:21

you want to give back or sent me some appreciation, please don't

Unknown: 00:01:26

hold back, hop on to the link in my show notes and buy me a

Unknown: 00:01:32

coffee. I would totally appreciate your feedback. And

Unknown: 00:01:38

yeah, if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be here. I want to make

Unknown: 00:01:43

this podcast as accessible as possible for people around the

Unknown: 00:01:47

world because the world is going through a big transition right

Unknown: 00:01:51

now. It's very stressful for so many people.

Unknown: 00:01:55

And the feedback I'm receiving as Yeah, very positive. And

Unknown: 00:02:01

people tell me I'm helping them to get through these stressful

Unknown: 00:02:04

times. So I love to find people that yeah, are not seeing any

Unknown: 00:02:12

light right now and feel left alone. And just Yeah, wanting to

Unknown: 00:02:20

give some hope and light to them and make them feel less lonely.

Unknown: 00:02:23

So you can play a big part in this. Thank you so much. So

Unknown: 00:02:30

today, last episode of the season.

Unknown: 00:02:34

Next week, I will be kickstarting launching season

Unknown: 00:02:41

six,

Unknown: 00:02:44

where I will focus in on the feminine. And what that means is

Unknown: 00:02:50

that I'm going to have a couple of interviews with ladies, I

Unknown: 00:02:54

will talk more about the feminine side of of people on

Unknown: 00:03:00

the world. And it is really important for you to understand

Unknown: 00:03:05

that I'm supporting mental health for everybody. For now, I

Unknown: 00:03:11

was focusing in on mental health for men.

Unknown: 00:03:16

And I just have lots to share about Yeah, the feminine side of

Unknown: 00:03:23

things. And I have lots of female friends who want to share

Unknown: 00:03:28

their story. Come season six.

Unknown: 00:03:33

And I find it very interesting too. Yeah. See,

Unknown: 00:03:40

and hear about different perspectives, and especially

Unknown: 00:03:44

when it comes to heterosexual relationships to see okay, what

Unknown: 00:03:50

can we do better? Where can we do our part? And where do men

Unknown: 00:03:56

need our support?

Unknown: 00:03:58

So it is going to be extremely interesting for men to listen to

Unknown: 00:04:05

what the ladies have to say. And please trust me that I will

Unknown: 00:04:10

always play it fair.

Unknown: 00:04:14

Think he will get to know a new side of me.

Unknown: 00:04:18

And I'm very excited to share this with you. I'm in this with

Unknown: 00:04:24

you together.

Unknown: 00:04:26

We're fighting the good fight. We all want to be seen and loved

Unknown: 00:04:31

and heard and understood.

Unknown: 00:04:35

But yeah, I see the gap I see the gap between men and women. I

Unknown: 00:04:39

feel it especially here in North America. And I would like to

Unknown: 00:04:45

make that gap a little smaller and bring people closer

Unknown: 00:04:49

together. Because the stronger our relationships are, the

Unknown: 00:04:54

stronger our society can be and more resilient to stress.

Unknown: 00:05:01

So today on this last episode of episode of season five, sorry, I

Unknown: 00:05:07

want to talk about difficult people and how we can deal with

Unknown: 00:05:11

difficult people.

Unknown: 00:05:15

Difficult, people are inevitable.

Unknown: 00:05:19

They are all over the place. Sometimes they're more often in

Unknown: 00:05:23

our lives than we like it. And difficult people are people

Unknown: 00:05:28

that, yeah, we can really

Unknown: 00:05:32

walk around or push out of our lives. They're just in our lives

Unknown: 00:05:38

embedded.

Unknown: 00:05:40

They may be a boss,

Unknown: 00:05:43

they may be a grocery clerk at our favorite store. In America,

Unknown: 00:05:49

yeah, relative,

Unknown: 00:05:52

maybe a person in our friend group.

Unknown: 00:05:56

Yeah, they can be everywhere. So I'm assuming that it is a person

Unknown: 00:06:03

in your life, when you think of someone right now who's really

Unknown: 00:06:06

annoying and difficult to deal with, that you can really avoid?

Unknown: 00:06:10

Because if you could, you would.

Unknown: 00:06:14

So how can we deal with these people in order to Yeah, not

Unknown: 00:06:19

waste too much energy on them. Because what I've noticed is

Unknown: 00:06:22

that people who really annoy the shit out of us take up so much

Unknown: 00:06:27

space, mental space,

Unknown: 00:06:32

and can really burden our relationships as well. You know,

Unknown: 00:06:37

when I have stressed with my boss, I come home, and then vent

Unknown: 00:06:43

to my boyfriend or to my mom or to my sister, or whoever's just

Unknown: 00:06:48

there, because in the moment, it feels good to share what's going

Unknown: 00:06:54

on.

Unknown: 00:06:56

But if we do that, for a longer period of time, you will see

Unknown: 00:07:00

that you are tiring out your loved ones, the people that you

Unknown: 00:07:06

share your struggles with. So my advice number one is that you

Unknown: 00:07:14

find someone neutral, outside of your friend circle outside of

Unknown: 00:07:18

your relationship, intimate relationships,

Unknown: 00:07:22

where you can talk about it constructively, like

Unknown: 00:07:25

productively, I think you say in English, and you protect your

Unknown: 00:07:32

primary relationships, from the BS that you're dealing with that

Unknown: 00:07:37

person. What I mean by that is, of course, when when your

Unknown: 00:07:42

partner asks you, hey, like you seem a little absent or you seem

Unknown: 00:07:46

a little bit upset, what's going on in your life, you share with

Unknown: 00:07:50

them openly, what's going on, but you will not go into details

Unknown: 00:07:55

and you will not unload onto them. Do you understand what I

Unknown: 00:08:01

mean by that, like the difference between telling

Unknown: 00:08:05

somebody what's going on and unloading emotionally and

Unknown: 00:08:09

verbally and energetically, is really important to distinguish.

Unknown: 00:08:16

So you take a life coach, you take a counselor, you take a

Unknown: 00:08:19

therapist, whoever you feel like having a new life, and there you

Unknown: 00:08:25

can work on resolving those problems. And they are you can

Unknown: 00:08:29

totally unload because those people are trained to set

Unknown: 00:08:33

boundaries with you and but at the same time, giving you space

Unknown: 00:08:38

where you can, yeah, feel good afterwards.

Unknown: 00:08:42

So protect your loved ones.

Unknown: 00:08:45

And then learn to set boundaries with the people who are

Unknown: 00:08:49

different and difficult in your life. You know, difficult

Unknown: 00:08:55

sometimes means annoying, sometimes means like, painful

Unknown: 00:09:00

attacking you.

Unknown: 00:09:03

And you have to learn to stand up for yourself. And the tricky

Unknown: 00:09:06

part is to stand up for yourself in a graceful way to not become

Unknown: 00:09:11

an asshole yourself.

Unknown: 00:09:15

So my third tip goes kind of hand in hand with the second tip

Unknown: 00:09:19

is that you then see the person

Unknown: 00:09:23

that you can get rid of

Unknown: 00:09:26

not as an obstacle anymore and an energy drainer but as an

Unknown: 00:09:31

opportunity, an opportunity for you to grow personally, until

Unknown: 00:09:37

like intellectually, mentally, emotionally,

Unknown: 00:09:42

maybe even spiritually.

Unknown: 00:09:45

So you think of that personnel that is deeply annoying to you

Unknown: 00:09:50

very difficult. And you think about

Unknown: 00:09:54

what is that that I can learn with this person?

Unknown: 00:10:00

and the lessons you can learn from a difficult person, like

Unknown: 00:10:04

what I've learned in the past is patience. I am learning to count

Unknown: 00:10:09

until 10. And not to explode, learning to tune into my breath,

Unknown: 00:10:16

instead of exploding.

Unknown: 00:10:20

I'm learning to stand up for to myself, no for myself, sorry. So

Unknown: 00:10:26

a person who brings you down makes you feel shitty. You will

Unknown: 00:10:30

in a very kind way, tell them. You know what your remark just

Unknown: 00:10:35

made me feel terrible, and makes me feel

Unknown: 00:10:40

worse than before I met you. And yeah, I want to talk about it.

Unknown: 00:10:46

Why is it that you had to say this to me, or what is bugging

Unknown: 00:10:51

you? Right? Like you open up a conversation in a very graceful

Unknown: 00:10:56

and kind way. But at the same time, set a clear boundary, and

Unknown: 00:11:01

it's going to make you feel fantastic, it's going to make

Unknown: 00:11:04

you feel so good to finally address it, and to stand up for

Unknown: 00:11:09

yourself at the same time, not to be an asshole about it. When

Unknown: 00:11:14

you walk away afterwards, it will just feel as if you just

Unknown: 00:11:20

yeah,

Unknown: 00:11:22

got something really important done. And you did. You set a

Unknown: 00:11:27

limit, you drew a line. And it is gonna affect all of your

Unknown: 00:11:33

relationships is going to affect the relationship with the

Unknown: 00:11:36

difficult person because they now know or shed, I was called

Unknown: 00:11:41

called out and I can't really fight back or react to it

Unknown: 00:11:46

because it was said in a very nice way.

Unknown: 00:11:49

And it will cut you off from that negative energy draw and

Unknown: 00:11:54

excuse me here to get a little bit as a Tarik. But people who

Unknown: 00:11:58

are difficult in your life are going to suck life energy out of

Unknown: 00:12:03

you literally.

Unknown: 00:12:05

And you're going to want to vent to the people you love, you're

Unknown: 00:12:08

going to want to ruminate about those situations and not be

Unknown: 00:12:12

present with the people that you love. And that's just not fair.

Unknown: 00:12:18

And then starting to stand up with you to for yourself, My

Unknown: 00:12:22

God, my English today, you will have more energy, more presence

Unknown: 00:12:27

more love, more life energy for the people that you care about,

Unknown: 00:12:32

or for when you then spend quality time with yourself.

Unknown: 00:12:37

Imagine yourself having a weird encounter with a difficult

Unknown: 00:12:41

person and then going for a walk or trying to meditate or having

Unknown: 00:12:46

a massage, it's going to be so difficult for your monkey mind

Unknown: 00:12:49

to switch off because your monkey mind is going to want to

Unknown: 00:12:53

fight back and I sort of said this all extend I'm going to say

Unknown: 00:12:58

that, no, you're not going to be in the moment because you didn't

Unknown: 00:13:03

draw a line. So difficult people will always be part of your

Unknown: 00:13:08

life, don't just take it as a given as a constant, they will

Unknown: 00:13:12

come in, they will come out. They can teach you valuable

Unknown: 00:13:16

lessons about yourself about your relationships, about how

Unknown: 00:13:20

much you want to protect your primary relationships. And

Unknown: 00:13:25

again, it's not about sucking it up and suppressing it. It is

Unknown: 00:13:29

about choosing neutral people to talk about your issues with that

Unknown: 00:13:34

person, and then to resolving it and not to stay in that

Unknown: 00:13:39

uncomfortable situation for longer than is needed. Right if

Unknown: 00:13:46

you started venting and spreading the poison that you

Unknown: 00:13:49

sucked up from a person that is bad for you.

Unknown: 00:13:52

You're gonna stay longer in a situation than if you were to

Unknown: 00:13:57

keep it to yourself and it getting worse and worse and then

Unknown: 00:14:04

forcing you to take steps to change okay.

Unknown: 00:14:10

So all this to say dealing with difficult people you will not be

Unknown: 00:14:14

able to change other people you can change only yourself and how

Unknown: 00:14:18

you react. And I always recommend you responding instead

Unknown: 00:14:24

of reacting and breathing and thinking how can I set a gentle

Unknown: 00:14:33

boundary here? How can I express how this person is making me

Unknown: 00:14:38

feel right now?

Unknown: 00:14:42

And then walking away or engaging in a conversation that

Unknown: 00:14:46

is resolving conflict? Resolution is what we want,

Unknown: 00:14:51

right?

Unknown: 00:14:53

Okay. This is what I had to say about difficult people we will

Unknown: 00:14:59

not change

Unknown: 00:15:00

To them, we will not be able to cut them out of our lives. But

Unknown: 00:15:04

we can learn to stand up for ourselves to communicate

Unknown: 00:15:07

clearly. And to protect our primary relationships.

Unknown: 00:15:13

I'm sending my love out to you. I wish I could squeeze you and

Unknown: 00:15:18

thank you for being here. I love doing this podcast for you. And

Unknown: 00:15:24

yeah, I hope you take really good care of yourself. Please

Unknown: 00:15:28

never hesitate to message me with episode requests. Or just

Unknown: 00:15:33

share with me where you're from. Where is your home base because

Unknown: 00:15:38

I'm always curious to find out where people are listening to my

Unknown: 00:15:42

podcast. Alright, drink lots of water. Be kind to yourself. You

Unknown: 00:15:49

got this. I will be out there very soon again for you. Bye