Welcome back to Dont get this Twisted

Robb and Tina explore the complex emotions of guilt and regret, sharing personal stories and insights on how these feelings impact our lives and relationships. They discuss how to live without regrets and the importance of living in the moment.

Explicit

[email protected]

Copyright 2026 Dont get this Twisted

This podcast and website represent the opinions of Robb Courtney and Tina Garcia and their guests to the show and website. The content here should not be interpreted as medical advice or any other type of advice from any other type of licensed professional. The content here is for informational purposes only, and because each person is so unique, please consult your healthcare or other applicable licensed professional with any medical or other related questions. Views and opinions expressed in the podcast and website are our own and do not represent that of our places of work. While we make every effort to ensure that the information, we are sharing is accurate, we welcome any comments, suggestions, or correction of errors. Privacy is of the utmost importance to us. All people, places, and scenarios mentioned in the podcast have been changed to protect confidentiality. This website or podcast should not be used in any legal capacity whatsoever, including but not limited to establishing “standard of care” in a legal sense or as a basis for expert witness testimony related to the medical profession or any other licensed profession. No guarantee is given regarding the accuracy of any statements or opinions made on the podcast or website. In no way does listening, reading, emailing, or interacting on social media with our content establish a doctor-patient relationship or relationship with any other type of licensed professional. Robb Courtney and Tina Garcia do not receive any money from any pharmaceutical industry for topics covered pertaining to medicine or medical in nature. If you find any errors in any of the content of this podcast, website, or blogs, please send a message through the “contact” page or email [email protected]. This podcast is owned by "Don’t Get This Twisted,” Robb Courtney.

Welcome to another show of Don't Get This Twisted. I am Rob along with my co host, as always, Tina. How you doing Tina?

I'm awake, that's all I could tell you today.

Ha ha ha

doing this quite early this morning.

Yes.

because I'm leaving to go on vacation. So we have to do this early. Excuse me. although we did see each other yesterday for lunch, so we've we've have seen each other more than we have in a while. But we

Yay!

right?

had a nice little sit-down yesterday and we were deciding exactly what we were gonna talk about today and you you came up with the the idea you shot me a text and you're like let's talk about guilt and then I kind of threw like regret in there because I think they kind of walk hand in hand. S so sometimes you can be guilty of not doing something or doing something and also have regret for doing something or not doing something. So I

Mm-hmm.

You know, man, this is we we were kind of talking about personal things that we could we could probably say we're guilty of or regret. and man, there's some there's some deepy ones in there that could be really looked at, I think, when we you start looking at your life in general. And I think that's most people.

Mm-hmm.

I think the biggest regret for people is letting someone go, probably. You know, when you think you shouldn't have, or you know, you you end up looking at a relationship or a person many, many years later. And you're like, you know, if I would have just done this, things would have been different.

Mmm.

And and I know that you've said a bazillion times on here that look if it's meant to be, it would have happened the first time. And I I do kind of agree with that now because I I've met people years and years and years and years and years later. And you realize, like, I probably wasn't mature enough to be part of that during the first time.

Yes.

Right?

Right. And and probably they weren't as well. You know, I dated a girl when I was like twenty-four. I think twenty-four. She was young. She was had just turned eighteen. she was way more mature for her age, but I think even then looking back, it's like, yeah, we were she was a child and I was just a child mentally.

Mm-hmm.

So you know, I ended up buying a house with her and and ended up getting sued by her, a bunch of other shit, like crazy stuff. And then yeah, like twenty something years later, ended up seeing her again. And you realize like, yeah, like we were both married and have children and lived and you you realize a lot more that you know maybe

Hmm.

You don't regret things as much as you thought you did.

Right? Or you see that after all is said and done, that it wasn't meant to work out, or you see the reality of it. I was looking at the differences between guilt and regret. according to the internet, what I was reading, an AI overview, guilt focuses on a moral violation.

Right. Mm-hmm. It it

where you feel responsible for doing something wrong, while regret is simply wishing a past action or outcome had been different. Guilt involves a belief that you broke a personal or moral standard and should have known better, where regret involves wishing for a different result from a choice, even if you had no control or did not know it was wrong at the time.

Well, there you have it. I think man, then there's some guilt in there for me for sure. I've I've I've done some pretty slippery slope stuff that I'm sure we were talking about yesterday. I am the villain, I'm sure, in many people's stories. yeah. And and look,

Yeah, I get that.

I don't wanna say that I'm innocent because I I don't think I am. But that being said, you know I've I've been the extra in a relationship before with people who have been with boyfriends and husbands, golly, more than once.

But and again I'm not trying to to you know, say that I'm at all innocent. But it was definitely

Other people have pushed themselves out of a relationship and didn't know it. I was with somebody who had a mate that I hadn't talked to this person in quite a long time. And she was with somebody. she was with a woman at the time. And

The first thing I remember saying to her was like, You're with who? Just because I I couldn't believe it. Just not something that I would have I would have thought.

Mm-hmm.

Then I ended up talking to her through Snapchat for some reason. She posted a picture and I was like, hey, like I haven't talked to you forever. She gave me this whole story. And then I started questioning things. Like, you know, I was like, I really didn't see you going down that path. Blah, blah, blah. And lo and behold, it was.

For a lot of different reasons she was with this person. she had gone through a relationship with a man who was pretty abusive and then had gotten married and also had a guy who was more mentally abusive than physically, but abusive nonetheless. And I just think that this person was there for her at that time of need.

sounds like somebody needed to be because if you're back to back on abusers you're doing something really not right for you.

Right.

Mm-hmm. And then I kind of came into the picture and I was more like the probably the landing pad. I was just like, hey, like this and that. And and and again, like I wasn't I was complimenting her based on just how I thought, not that I was trying to get anywhere with her. But yeah, like we we've all done things I think that we

are guilty of

I don't feel like in relationships that I didn't give it my all. Like I don't have regret with my ex. I did everything I possibly could. I think he did as well. And it was just time to be done. So for me, I don't really sit in that with exes because I do give it all I have. I remember it must have been about... Ooh, let me think.

Probably about two weeks before my mom died, I remember I was just in like one of the worst places of my life at that point. It was a bad, bad year. And my mom had got me a little plaque thing to put on the wall. And it says something like, I asked God for light. He gave me the son. I asked for love and God gave me you, my daughter.

And she gave me that my mom was not a sentimental type person like that. And I saw them all, thanks mom. And she had said to me, did it make you feel any better? And I looked at her and I'm like, no mom, it doesn't, but thank you. Like it wasn't, I could have just said, yes, it makes me feel better, but you can't, I couldn't lie to my mom. You knew my mom, she just don't even bother.

She'd see right through it. Yeah.

Just tell the truth. And I did. But I wish I would have said that it made me feel better because she was really trying.

Right.

and then two weeks later she was gone. But I kept that little plaque and it's in my room and it's right in front of, you know, the focal point. It's like right underneath my TV because my TV's on the wall. And I look at that all the time and I think I wish I would have just said yes, it helped.

Right, right. Yeah, I mean because it's it's much easier, you know, hindsight is is twenty twenty. Right. It it's much easier to armchair quarterback your life many, many years later. You know.

Yeah.

right?

But yeah, I mean

But I think for me just because she was trying so hard and she died so soon after that. It's like, why didn't I just say yes?

Yeah. I mean, I think I I thought the same thing with my mom, you know, many, many times you said I should go see my mom. and it to be fair, guilt and regret kind of walk hand in hand with this one. I do feel guilty that I didn't go and I regret that I didn't go.

But like my mom had a breathing disorder and it was during COVID and she was very adamant about like not being able to see other human beings because she thought it would kill her. at the end of the day, COPD was gonna kill her anyway. Like she just so truly I you know I could have probably went and

Hmm.

you know, been fine and even if she would have passed away not too long after I saw her, I don't think I would have guilt that I killed my mom because she was already she was on oxygen twenty four seven. So it was it was already happening. It was just when, not if. So but that being said,

Yeah.

You know, I I've I'm solving the problem because I don't think we've talked about it on here. But my dad is also older. He's like eighty he'll be eighty-four this year. And you kept bugging me about that over and over. Like, you gotta go see him, you gotta go see him. And I am gonna go s

I'm a pain in the ass when it comes to stuff like that,

no. I I just think that you're very diligent. It's not that you're a pain in the ass. You're just you're like you're diligent. No, because like here's the thing. I I can keep saying yeah, but until I do it, you're gonna I wouldn't say you're like bitchy about it though. You're just like, hey, remember you gotta go see your dad. Yeah, you gotta

intelligent

It's important.

So lo and behold, I'm lucky enough that my older brother is gonna be there and I I which we were gonna do the last time, but I it was and I already had tickets to go somewhere else to Denver. So I couldn't go. Like I would have went then. I just I couldn't go. So I 'cause I had already made plans and I couldn't get out of it. So this time I we're gonna do that and I'm gonna go see my dad. Which will make me feel better.

Mmm.

You know, my dad he's pretty healthy so he might live to be you know, I might die before him. so but I'll it'll make me feel better that I went and saw him and saw my brother and everything. So I so I can live without guilt and regret. I'm kinda knocking this one out.

Hehehe.

Yeah No, I think I think you will When all when all is said and done you'll be like, I'm glad I went to see him that time or I wish I'm I wish we could have had more but we had that And that's it's important. I was always with my my parents. I'm still always with my dad. take care of him, but

Yeah.

In any situation, I don't feel like you should live with regret or remorse. I mean, if you do your best and you try everything you can and you can't expect anything better than that. But it's definitely something like. If if not now, when and if not you, then who? You know, I have a friend that says that to me all the time. I'm like, God, I wish she'd shut up and quit saying that, but.

At the same time, it keeps me on track. If not you, then who, teen? You know? I just think it's important to live like that. It is. It's very.

Yeah. It it's a it's a fair statement. Yeah. It's a very fair statement. Because look at the end of the day, y you can only do so much, right? Of anything. And I and I try now, like, look, mostly with relationship stuff now. Like I see so many people

Yeah, of anything.

We've talked about on here a bazillion times. I had friends from the past who stayed in marriages seventeen years and then finally found a way out of it. And and you're like, What what were you waiting for? Like and and look, maybe their their final straw is different than mine, which is fine. but you see go down these roads and you're like, I I just I couldn't

Mm-hmm.

Do it. Like, I just couldn't do it. And financial shit now is the the worst part. I've I saw a meme one time, and it was like, you know, be careful about getting in a relationship you can't afford to get out of. And I was like, fuck. Like that shit's true, because you sign a lease with somebody and then you're stuck in a lease and

Mmm.

You know, they're paying half the rent and you're paying half the rent and you can't save up enough money to get out and get in a place on your own. And there's like all these little things that once you make these steps to get out of whatever your current living situation is, like let's say you're on your own and you have your own apartment, you you get so used to being in this you know, new

much more profitable experience that you can't get out of it because now you've changed your lifestyle and you're stuck. And or at least people think they're stuck. I you're never stuck. I that's the way I feel.

And I'm old enough to say that everything in life works its way out. You know, it's like we could be like, but what about this or what about that? Man, I've had two nickels in my pocket for weeks on end and have been OK. You know, that's all I've had. And I managed to live through it and be OK. And honestly, I didn't really miss much. So I think that part of

You know taking steps or doing things is you just have to have faith. That's gonna be okay because it is something will always Find its way to you to get you through whatever it is. You're going through So I I don't know why people want to live miserably anyway We've talked about this I could have lived with my ex forever our problems weren't so bad in comparison to what I've seen other people go through and Yet they were bad enough for us that we chose to make a difference

But looking back, I think that that was the best thing that we could have done because now I get a call, hey, I just need to bounce something off of you or, hey, can you help me out with this? you know, I'm grateful that he and I are close enough. We didn't kill things that we could be that for each other and salvaged.

What we needed to salvage of our friendship. We really Got a good one, you know, there's there's no we're not crossing lines. We're not having sex. We're not doing those things ever but God forbid, you know, like he had dental problems and he was bleeding and it wasn't stopping and I went over there and kind of helped him out and spent a few hours while he was sleeping just taking care of things around the house that he couldn't do because

of his dental surgery and I thought, you know, this is a way better way of being in each other's lives than what we were doing before. And he's been there and done things for me too. Same thing, like I couldn't get medicine because I couldn't lift my head. My head was killing me one day and he showed up with everything that I needed. I was like, thank you so much. Where would we have been without that? And I look

And I was thinking about that because I knew that we were going to go more down the lines of relationships. And I was like, I don't have those regrets with him. And damn, am I glad that I don't. know, he could be in my space, I could be in his and we're good to each other. And I'm grateful that I don't live in regret with that because I think I would regret that deeply.

kind of threw some some things into the interweb over here I I basic basically most common sources of guilt for people and it's pretty interesting obviously the first one is what I was talking about not being there for loved ones this this one is like just more of everything though like missing time with family not calling enough arguments left unresolved or feeling like you didn't support someone when they when it mattered

Yeah.

And i I think every single human being on the planet is guilty of one of those.

You can't be everything to everybody. You just can't.

Right. And and but like like for me, I would say like I mean I'm pretty good with ar you know, not leaving arguments left unresolved. I'd pretty much resolve and you know, I'd rather be I'd rather be hated than liked for, you know, saying sorry when I'm not.

Let's see, wasting time wasted time or missed opportunities, careers not pursued, talents not developed, procrastination, staying in the wrong relationship or job too long. yeah, those are all pretty simple, you know, things. I think a lot of people, when you get much older like us, you probably really look at careers not pursued. I mean, you're lucky you kind of did yours and and you're still doing it.

But I can see that. I can see a lot of people that like and I'll give you an example and it's not even me, but I know people who are really, really, really good artists who had just a I mean, incredible aptitude for drawing and got into a job and

Yeah.

Mmm.

just kept going and kind of put that to the side and really never picked it back up again and you're like, man, like to me that that's there's gotta be some kind of there's some kind of guilt when you sit down 'cause I've seen doodle again and you're like, yeah, like you're you're still you're still very talented, but you're you know, you're fifty five in a job market that is generally younger folks.

You know, there's, it's interesting. I can't draw. I do a lot of artsy things, a lot. I get told I do too much actually. And I, not someone that draws. And I think there's so many people that write that have like books that they could, you know, they could put pictures to. They could, I had a neighbor, she was an amazing drawer. And what she did was she made

children's books and they did very well and she had them published and and they're on the shelves and I think to myself man my brother could draw and I was like why doesn't he do something like that we have all these native stories he could draw he could he could put that into a book even and make something of it but I

I also feel like with really creative people, they're not the best for making a business out of it. You know, it's, they'll draw until the cows come home, but nobody will ever see it because the business side isn't part of who they are. But, mm-hmm, that's exactly it.

Yeah, they're just artists. Yeah. I I kind of agree with you. I've seen people that just or or they'll go, I just doodle, or I just do this for fun, or it's kinda like me with photography, you know, I do it for fun. And I have tons of people that are like, You should make money doing that. It's like, yeah. I mean I I I get it. I understand that part of it. that's huh?

Mm-hmm.

I think that that wasted talents. I always tell my brother put draw something in a card, send it to somebody, do do something with it. You know what I mean? Like and and yes, that's exactly it. Like I never stopped doing my art things. I gave everything away for the first 50.

Right. Like keep doing it.

three years of my life. Like I just started selling things that I'm making and my regret is I didn't make any money off all these things because they were really nice. They were really good, but my friends got some very cool Christmas gifts or my family, you know, my mom used to my dad still if I make something my dad's like, hey, that's really cool. And he just takes it and it is cool. But at the same time, I'm like,

That's cool though.

I want to sell that. Like, I don't want to see it around forever. I want to make some money with it.

Right. And and it should be on somebody else's shelf. You know what I mean? Someone else should enjoy that kind of thing.

Yeah. Yeah.

But it's just like the podcast, you know, I was talking to one of my friends. I had no idea that he was listening. I've known this person since he was 10 years old and come to find out he listens to every episode. And I was like, why would you do that? He's like, I get to hear what's going on in your world. You know, you're you're creating something. Why not? Why wouldn't I? And I think to myself, I don't. You know, I don't think like that about it. I.

do the podcast for myself, because we were really struggling when we started doing this. And it was a way for us to just talk. Who knew that we would still be here doing this all these years later? Because it's been four years at least, five years. Five. Who would have thought? Still creating, still talking, still putting our voices out there. You know, there's still things I don't want to talk about, but...

Mm-hmm.

Five. I think it's going on five.

If you brought them up and said something, I'd be like, okay, fine. I'm going to talk about it, you know, but I think it's important to if there's something you want to do, you have to do it. You have to get you have to get your your life to where there's fewer regrets and more living.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, I agree. Yeah. I I think there's one on this list that for people who have, you know, parented people, it's parenting regrets. Not being patient enough, not providing enough stability, feeling like you didn't give the kids a childhood they deserved. For me, it's I don't know if I have guilt.

Mm.

Probably more regrets than anything. Because like I took my son when he was six. I've never not had him. are there are there things I wish I would have done different? Absolutely. I I think that any parent, you know, ca you're always going to armchair quarterback something.

Mm-hmm.

Man, I wish I'd have done this different, or I wish I would have, you know, did this more with him, or I wish I would have not given him the iPad you know, early. You know, whatever it is. Which I think is gonna be the biggest regret for parents now. Giving electronics to their kids too early. Cause I think I I did it with video games and my son is a video gamer and now I can't, you know, he's yeah, he's addicted to it.

Yeah.

W which I is is funny 'cause like when he has a girlfriend it it definitely slows down a little bit. At least when they're when she's here. So maybe he just he'll you know, I don't think he'll ever grow out of it, but he'll definitely I think it'll taper off as he gets a little bit older. but yeah, I think that

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, or it may not. He's in there a lot. You know, that could be what he chooses to do.

Yeah. Right. It which is, you know, look, you gotta live your life. Yeah. Because it then you have n no regrets. If if that's what he wants to do, like it's hard for me as long as he's making a living and has a life, you you can't really can't say much.

Mm-hmm.

You know, I think being a parent, you're constantly in a no-win situation because it depends on who's looking at you from what side. And I remember that my daughter was very angry at me for not giving her a phone that she could use to call whomever she wanted. But out of all the kids that grew up around her, she's the only one.

that's graduated college and has a career, a really good career. But I believe she had it because I took the distractions and left them outside of her little world so that she could concentrate and she could make something of herself. Now, did that help our relationship not giving her a phone? No, it didn't help it in the least. As a matter of fact, she was really like, I can't believe it. Everybody else gets one.

Right.

But I wasn't everybody else trying to give her everything everybody else had. I wanted her to be better. I wanted her to... I wanted to break the cycle and I wanted her to have the best life she could possibly have. Now, whether she liked the way I went about it or not, that's again perception. But again, she's the only one that has a college degree out of all of the kids that she was around.

Yeah.

And I don't regret that. Like, okay, call me the bitch. But guess what? Like, you're past that and you're through that and you're you're never going to not be able to take care of yourself and your kids ever.

Yeah, it's it Look, ki kids are like I said, you're damned if you do and damned if you don't. I I'm sure my dad has some kind of regret in life. And I know my mom did. But my mom told me way later in life, so here's one that I I don't have to I haven't had to worry about, thankfully, but I know someone who's gone through this is Survivor's Guild.

for sure.

Mmm, that's a hard one.

I thankfully I've never had to worry about that. But I know several people. One from an a car accident and then one unfortunately they went to war. So and I think that you know it's one of those things where it bothers him that his friends died around him and he got to come home.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

the accident one is a is a rough one because they got in a car accident and they died in the car. Even though you don't die until you get to the hospital because they tried to retestitate. But they were they had already died in the car. Yeah. And

Mmm.

Yeah.

They were gone. Yeah. That's a hard one because that's that's a split second decision that changes your reality forever. There's, you know, the regret and everything. But how do you how do you even hold yourself accountable to that degree? I mean, unless you were drinking and acting like a fool and just didn't take care of, know, didn't do what was right. But an accident is a split second.

Yeah. It the yeah, this one wasn't that. Yeah. Yeah, this one was just w one made it, one didn't.

thing.

Mmm.

That's you know, and the other side, I think, as far as I know, everyone on the other side that got hit also lived. So Yeah. So it look, you you're right. It an accident is an accident, is an accident, but I think that they're you know, you can't help but then think, what if I would have just did this different or if I would have, you know, not ran the yellow.

Wow.

you know, four lights back. I we would have never been there 'cause I would have stopped. You know what I mean? There's you can you can guilt yourself into a lot of dumb shit. You know

Mm-hmm.

questioning, you know, you know, if I would have just, you know, been on time to pick them up, we would have left, you know, there's all kinds of things that you can look through. survivor's guilt's gotta be hard. the war one I to me is I understand but I don't. It's like look, you're you're in something that i y is the odds are more likely that you weren't coming home.

Mm-hmm.

You know what I mean? So like that you did is is more a s statistic anomaly than it is you shouldn't be guilty for coming home. You should be you should buy lotto tickets. So I don't know.

Yes.

But I also feel like our day is set in stone as to when we're going to cross over. So you can't change that. There shouldn't be that guilt because people are going to... I mean, it's beyond us. If you believe in a higher power, they've already got that figured out and it's already set to go. And you just need to walk through it because we don't have any other choice.

Tory said.

But I could imagine what it's like because you're supposed to be taking care of each other and then not everybody comes home. I couldn't imagine what that's like because I'm in my world, I'm a caregiver and I don't drop the ball. I make sure that whoever needs to get home gets home. if I couldn't do that, I don't know how I would feel, you know? But I could only imagine.

how desperate that feeling is to lose somebody right in front of you that your whole life depends on having with you. That's gotta be horrendous. I know my dad has a lot of different feelings about the war and survivor's guilt and whatnot. And we've had a lot of discussions about it. he focuses on things that...

that aren't the best for him to focus on from time to time and have to remind him like, let's go back to what we know dad, are we here forever? you know, like, because he's talked to me like that. We have that same faith. We share that the same beliefs. So it's almost like not checking him, but reminding him of what the reality is, as opposed to what his feelings are so that he can get a grip, you know, because it's

I don't know, that's gotta be a horrible thing to feel. And we've, yeah, we've talked about it endlessly.

Yeah, I I couldn't imagine.

and and that's a good segue into this one. And I think that a lot of people don't do this. This is have a little on the regret side is not enjoying life enough, working too much and missing out on experiences.

Hmm.

I think that's more for men than it is for women because men are taught you have to go to work and their value of who they are as a man depends on how well they do in their careers. financially.

financially. Mm-hmm. Yeah. It it is I I think that that is true. And and I think that that's why men like to just sit around and do nothing. Because when they have the chance to relax, a lot I mean traveling's fun. I don't I wouldn't say that I don't like to travel.

But I don't think it's the same. Like women would travel three times a month if they could, where guys I think like to travel twice a year and they'll be happy. they generally like to just on the weekends, you know, do their chores on Saturday and then Sunday barbecue and watch football. And life is peachy.

Hmm.

There's nothing wrong with that though either.

No, no. I and that's what I mean. That to me, whatever your thing is that is for enjoying life, enjoy it. Be because we have a very small amount of time on this planet. I I when I went down, I had to work in San Diego and I went and saw my best friend and

That is true.

We generally have a relationship that we talk about the things that we like. We don't get deep into like crazy shit because there's no reason. We have so to me, that is enjoying life to its fullest. I've known him since I was I wanna say I was twelve and I turned thirteen not too long after that. So let's say twelve. And I'm fifty-five.

Mm-hmm.

It was the fur I rem we went to this little bar and grill down by his house and I and I remember just kind of sitting there for a second going We we've known each other so long and it doesn't seem like it. So life goes quickly. You know, I remember the school year being so long and just man, I can't wait for summer to be here.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

You

And then you realize you only get twelve summers. Like school summers. You know, you only get summers in for eighteen years.

Hmm.

and then you get a job.

And then you get life for the rest of it. Well, until you're 65, and then you get summers again. So you get summers again when your body's broken and you can't do as much. And, you know, you might be able to afford to do it, but you know, you can't you go on vacation, but you can't walk twenty miles in a day anymore because you're old. So

Yeah.

Enjoy I think that I've kind of installed in my son now. You have to enjoy shit now. Like take enjoy it in into your forties and and fifties because really after that is the time to sit around and do nothing. You know, or do things but you're not gonna have the body to like do these crazy things, you know.

So enjoy. You you do have to enjoy life. I don't I regret a lot of things. I regret not chasing individuals that I should have, that I thought I had connections with that I should have done, you know, in my youth. I I tell him don't do that. Like don't it

Go full bore. I'd rather have been hurt in my youth trying to find the right person that I thought was the right person then, instead of just sitting back and going, Well, it is what it is. you know, you you have to take risks, you know, on everything. Because if you don't, you're gonna live with regret and guilt for not doing it.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, I don't, I don't really know.

Right.

Yeah

You know the the amount of money you made doing that was great, but now everybody wants darker straighter You know roots they're they're okay with roots where we never did that we didn't have that ever so you know the the the reality of of life is the money's gonna change because of the styles and the fashion which is fine, but I thought that I was gonna

Right.

make money doing hair, go back to school to become a nurse. There is a part of me that wishes I would have taken that ride and seen if I could have done it. But on the other hand, I'm like, yeah, that didn't fit into who I became anyway, you know, because I got to, you know, I didn't have kids of my own. I adopted my daughter. So I had different things that I had to do because of

you know, her situation, like I wouldn't have had time to do if I was a nurse working in a hospital and doing all that. I wouldn't have been able to take care of my mom when she was sick or my dad when he had a stroke or, you know, there's so many things. So even though I think I could have done it, I don't know necessarily that it's a regret because I look at how life turned out and I was able to do

everything. Like here you talk about I didn't do enough and I'm like damn I don't I don't think there was anything I missed doing. Like I really was full bore all the time.

You're lucky that you can say that though. I mean a lot of people can't. I think most people can't. I think most people can't say like, I've done everything I wanted. I think most people in this world go, man, I wish I would have done this or I'm guilty for doing this. most people.

Yeah.

I wish I would have done more of what I was already doing. Like, there was just not enough hours.

Right. So I mean, so you have a that that's just a small regret. That's kinda that's kinda good. I mean

Yeah, I mean, I wish I would have said, I love you more to my cousin that passed away during COVID. God, I wish I could have done that. And not that I didn't because we were very close and I used to tell him that I loved him all the time, but I wish he would have known because he was struggling with something himself. And I wish he would have known just how much he meant to me.

I know in my heart he did because I know if I died tomorrow, you know what you mean to me. My best friend knows what she means to me. I really have put in time to let you guys know I love you, all of you guys. But I don't know if I could have just did it a little more maybe or let my mom know a little more. Not that we talked about it. She knew that I loved her and I was completely there for her.

Yeah.

Did I say it enough? Was it enough? I think that's more of what I think, not that I didn't do it at all, but did I do enough?

I think that that's a regret of most people. I think that we you look at somebody after they pass away and you it's it's easy to look at something and go, man, did I did they know? Did I say this enough? Did I did I try to remind them as much as I could?

Yeah.

I I was I was driving down the road listening to a podcast.

And part of that podcast was they were talking about that certain subject. And and you know, men don't say it to other guys enough. I they we just don't. We assume that people understand. And and look, I I sent it to my my two good friends that are in a group.

Mmm.

Yeah.

And I was just like, hey, I just wanted to remind you guys, like, love you guys, blah, blah, blah. And of course, I I got the exact response I thought I was gonna get. They're like, dude, you are so gay. but to me, I I got that back and knew that like, okay, cool. Because they know, you know what I mean? It was the it's that underlying friend thing where you're like, okay. And and

Hehehehehe

Mm-hmm.

Both of them ended up being like, yeah, you know, after they ribbed the shit out of me. They were like, we love you guys too, blah, blah, blah, blah. You know, because it is important. You you should tell your friends and family, you know, while you can. You know, I thankfully, knock on wood, like I talked to my mom a lot on Skype because she was always at home. Yeah, she could see my face and and

You can see your face. Yeah.

We were talking about it yesterday. Like she listened to the podcast just so she could hear me talk. And funny, she you I every time we would go on Skype, she'd be like, I had no idea that you were like this, this, this, this, and this. And it was like funny to me. Because, you know, here I am. I'm almost fifty at the time. And she's like, I didn't have a clue that, you know.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

That you did this or you like this or you were with this. It's like, yeah, you know. Because we're people and we don't tell our parents everything.

I probably tell my dad way too much. think he would like the Cliff Note version of my life instead of what I do tell him.

Yeah. Yeah, probably. I think my mom in her later years w more enjoyed it because I was way more open. And so like my dad doesn't know a lot about me. Just because we have a different kind of relationship and he's more subtle. Where my mom is she was just loud and obnoxious and

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

liked to say crazy shit. Yeah, you you would have been right up her alley. Yeah. My friend down the street too. She was like she different reason though. Like my friend down the street is a clean freak and she would like mix bleach and comet together. And when she told me that, I was like, my mom used to do that. We used to think we were gonna find her dead corpse in the tub.

God, I wish I would have met her.

Because like when you mix bleach and comet it's like cyanide. It's like fucking it's like really Yeah. It's like super dangerous shit to do. And my friend down the street's like, I do that all the time. And I was like, my god. Yeah.

Yeah.

It creates vapors that will kill you.

My mom did that a few times and really messed herself up.

Yeah. I think it's like it does like seventies thing that got pushed on to kids of the late seventies and eighties, right? So that's why my friend down the street does it because her mom probably fucking did it too. And she's like, it but it cleaned amazing. Like my tub was spotless. It was great. But it was probably slowly killing my mom because she was cyaniding herself to death. So so these things that that you know you

Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Yup.

You find out later in life and you I I'm glad that I don't regret saying anything on here because my mom got to see a totally different side of me and probably learned more about her son listening to an hour podcast every week than she did in the last, you know, ten years before. Because I was you know, I just didn't open up about a lot of stuff. So, you know.

Yeah.

You were a hard nut to crack to get to open up, so I'd imagine she learned so much being here.

Right, because on here I was I've been pretty I mean within reason I don't hold back on here. So

I'm glad and it and it made things very cool for my mom and me, you know, near the end of her life. I and I have no regret with that, with the exception of just going to see her. But thankfully with video calling, we got to talk. I mean a lot. Like she would out of nowhere be like, Hey, you know, go to your computer. I also did tech support for her. I would log into her computer from here and and help her fix things.

Mm-hmm.

I love that you could do that.

Yeah. So it it was it was great.

I don't know, teen, reg regret and guilt. Look, I I I have some guilt about a few things that I've done in life and and I do my best to. again, I I don't try to justify any of them. I know I know the situations of all these things that have happened.

I I don't want to say that what I did was right, but I'm definitely not gonna say that there wasn't circumstances surrounding some of these things. I've never killed anybody, so that's a plus. and I've done my best not to ruin people's relationships. Done my best. Things just happen for what they happen. but I do believe that do your best to live without.

Right?

Guilt or regret. it I I don't want to be at the end, like you've talked about it on here a bunch of times. I don't want to be on my deathbed and go, man, I wish I'd have done this. I'm I'm doing my best to not go down that road anymore. and and I'm doing my best to go, hey, you know.

We'll see with relationship wise. If it was something that I think is worth going for, I kinda don't hold back anymore. I just go, Yeah. Cause

I've been in enough and I don't want to say shitty relationships 'cause I don't think any of them have been shitty, but I've been in relationships that didn't work and I have some regret not fighting harder that now I'm not gonna do that. I'm just gonna I'm gonna be straight up, this is how it is. Yes, no. If you say no, then I'm kicking rocks and off, you know.

Mm-hmm.

Th there's there's too much life left to live in the very short amount of time we have it.

Think I think that is as people were really hard on ourselves Super excuse me super hard like why didn't I do this or I should have done that or what about this? You could you could beat yourself to death with the what-ifs My whole thing is it be in the moment Try to be the best person you can and let it go because we're not meant to be perfect We're never going to be we're not going to We're not getting

out.

Any any better than we wouldn't we're not getting out of this alive, but we're not You know, we're we're here to learn lessons. We're here to be messy we're here to to try things and to challenge ourselves into and to be to be Everything that we could be in the time allotted on this earth. So the regret Really is there a need for that? I mean

We're not getting out of this alive.

I could tell you I regret the fact that I didn't work out as much as I should have. But did I? Because I was doing exactly what I wanted to do anyway. no. Just remember if you're given an opportunity and you don't take it, you're going to have some regret. I don't want to have regrets. So if I'm given the opportunity, I'm going for it.

Yeah.

I I totally agree. my biggest thing these days is there's not a test at the end. So live.

Yeah, well maybe the test at the end is who's there saying, I wish I would have had more time. Maybe that's it.

Yeah. But I mean I I don't think there's a test for you. Like you and I and I mean that more that you have to live while you're here. There's like at the end, it if you believe in an afterlife, there's probably a test. You know what I mean? This is it. But you know, you have to live while you're here, you know.

No.

This is it. We're our test.

Don't do shitty things to people and you'll probably live a pretty good life.

and try to stay as happy as you can because life is going to kick you in the teeth.

Yeah. It li it that it loves to kick you in the dick, boys. Mostly when you're Yeah. Yeah. In the face. Like 'cause let me tell ya, getting getting hit in the mug is the worst. Like I'd rather I'd rather get I'd I'm not kicked in the nuts, but I'd rather get, you know, punched in the chest than punched in the face. Your face hurts.

I don't have a dick so in the teeth will work fine for me but

Yeah.

But life likes to punch you in the face. That's the unfortunate part. So, you know, sometimes you gotta take a few in the mug to get on to the right adventure. and just don't hold back. Just live. I don't want I don't want any more regret or any more guilt on me. I'm just gonna steadfast and ready to the end.

Yeah, you just have to live no matter what. Don't look back like you did something wrong or could have, should have, would have. Let yourself off the hook for all of that. I mean, there's a lot of people in my life I don't have in my life anymore that would say I was a horrible, mean, rotten person that should have done this, should have done that, should have whatever. But I don't see them living in my shoes. So I don't listen to it.

Yeah.

Yep. Me too.

I I agree. I I think that there's there I guarantee you for sure there's people that think I'm just the most rotten, horrible human being on the planet and look, I I sleep well at night.

Me too.

I know I know that's a horrible thing to say, but I don't think I hurt people out of out of d mali doing it maliciously. No. I might hurt you because of something I've done, but nine and a half times out of ten, you are probably the reason it happened.

Malice. Yeah.

Mmm.

So, you know, yes. And and the mirror is definitely a hard thing to look into sometimes. So well I'm off and running. I have to go pack a bag now and get ready for my trip and enjoy the show.

There's two sides to every story.

yeah.

Yeah. I also, real quick, I heard that I didn't say, you at the end of the show. So my apologize. I apologize. was, I don't know. I just didn't want to say it. And I guess I need to go back to doing what I do. So I hear you.

Yes.

Yeah. My my our listener our listener Chris in Iowa texted me afterwards and said, She didn't say it again and I was like, I I I will tell her, I promise. I I promise I'll tell her. Look, you know, we

What the hell? That's hilarious because I didn't realize I was making a

Yeah. Yeah. It it's it's your it's your tagline. It's your moniker, it's your you know, it's like your mm-hmm. It's it's like your it's your catchphrase. It's like I smell what the rock's cooking or you know, any any any wrestler tagline, I get it.

setting the precedence maybe I don't know.

And here I was just bored of it and was like, okay, it didn't feel like it.

Yes.

you

So yeah, keep listening to the show, keep sharing, we appreciate it. you can check us out on all the social medias and we'll see you in a week 'cause we'll be back with another interesting show after I travel and get tired and try to enjoy life a bit.

you

Yeah, we're both going to have really busy weekends and come back and have to record right away. hopefully we have the energy and everything's going good.

We record right again. Yeah. So so the the next show will probably be Dragon Ass for sure. Yes. It probably it probably will be. It probably will be. Hey, it's an opinion show. Don't get it twisted. Keep coming back every Wednesday. That's Tina. I'm Rob. We will talk to you in a week. Bye.

Is that the title?

See ya.