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What happens when the “perfect” relationship is powered by control, confusion, and intermittent kindness?
In this powerful conversation, Dr. Nadine Macaluso, somatic psychologist and author of Run Like Hell, breaks down trauma bonds. She explains why love-bombing feels so intoxicating at first, and how to rebuild trust in yourself after leaving a toxic dynamic. We cover red flags, green flags, co-parenting with a difficult ex, and why “boring” can actually mean safe, steady, and good.
How do you recognize when love turns into control, and find the courage to walk away from a trauma bond?
Escaping toxic cycles isn’t just about leaving the situation. It’s about relearning safety, trusting your own signals, and choosing peace over chaos.
(00:26) Origin Story & Reinvention at Any Age
- Going back to school at 39 and finishing a doctorate at 45 proves reinvention is possible at any age
- How early exposure to feelings and psychology sparked Nadine’s path
- Therapy as a lifeline when chaos became overwhelming
(04:03) Love-Bombing & Early Red Flags
- The intoxicating “soulmate” language and excessive attention of love-bombing
- Why mismatched words and actions are an early signal to notice
- Tuning into your body’s warning signs when something feels off
(07:09) What a Trauma Bond Really Is
- Two defining conditions: intermittent abuse and a power imbalance
- How Nadine’s Trauma Bonds Assessment and the Big Five test can offer clarity
- Why it’s critical to drop self-blame and focus on prevention
(11:20) Healing Timeline, Boundaries & Green Flags
- Why healing from a trauma bond takes about two years
- The relief of “I hear you” as a sign of safety
- Quick red flags to avoid: boundary-plowing, sudden rage, and chronic inconsistency
(21:50) Co-Parenting, Somatic Tools & Choosing Peace
- Co-parenting from authenticity instead of rebellion or people-pleasing
- How to track emotions somatically—where feelings live in the body
- Reframing “boring” as safe, steady, and priceless for long-term peace
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Let our sponsor BetterHelp connect you to a therapist who can support you - all from the comfort of your own home. Visit betterhelp.com/thebigsilence and enjoy a special discount on your first month.
If you have any questions about the brand relating to how the therapists are licensed, their privacy policy, or therapist compensation model, check out this FAQ: betterhelp.com/your-questions-answered.
