Separation does not just change your address. It changes the ground beneath you. And if you are a parent, it changes the ground beneath your children too, no matter how carefully you try to shield them from the tremors. The question most parents quietly carry through this season is rarely how do I survive this? It is the harder, more tender one: how do I make sure my children are okay when I am barely keeping myself together?
In this episode of The Mindful Living, host Sana sits with Jacintha Field — counsellor, art therapist, breathwork facilitator, and founder of Happy Souls Kids — for a conversation that does not flinch from any of it. They talk about the myth of "keeping things normal for the kids," what emotional honesty actually looks like at home, the long, often unglamorous work of regulating yourself in a high-conflict co-parenting dynamic, and why the parent your child needs is not a perfect one, just a present one.
A grounding listen for any parent in the middle of a hard chapter and quietly wondering if they are doing this right.
About the Guest:
Jacintha Field, known to her community as J, is a family and child counsellor, art therapist, kids' yoga teacher, breathwork coach, and the founder of Happy Souls Kids. Based in Australia, she has spent the past 20 years on her own healing path and translated that lived experience into a practice and a platform that supports children and families through emotional regulation, resilience-building, and connection. Happy Souls Kids is currently evolving into a gamified, role-model-led mental wellness platform for children, built with input from athletes, mental health professionals, and educators. Jacintha also hosts her own podcast for adult listeners.
Key Takeaways:
- Children do not need a perfect parent. They need a present one. One willing to feel, regulate, repair, and keep showing up.
- The advice to keep things normal hides a quiet harm. Children are not fooled by performed okayness. They feel the truth of the room even when they cannot name it.
- Modelling honest emotion is the lesson. When a child sees a parent name their feelings without making the child responsible for them, the child learns they are allowed to feel too.
- Eruption repair is real parenting. Lose your temper, take accountability, name what happened, remind your child it was not their fault. That repair is the teaching.
- In high-conflict co-parenting, taking the emotion out of communication is one of the hardest and most protective skills. Sleep on it. Write the message. Edit it. Keep it factual. What you write can travel anywhere.
- Once you separate, what happens at the other parent's house is no longer your business as long as the child is safe. Letting go of that control is grief work, not weakness.
- The fastest tool back to regulation is the one you always have with you: your breath. Hand on your heart, follow the inhale and the exhale. Then build a routine that is preventative, not reactive.
- Be the parent to your child that you wish you had when you were growing up. You are allowed to break the patterns you inherited.
- And one more, gentle reminder: you are the most important person in your own life.
Connect With Jacintha Field:
If you want to be a beta tester for the new Happy Souls Kids platform, email hello@happysoulskids.com.
Episode Chapters:
[00:00] The Ground Beneath You — When separation rearranges everything
[03:00] Jacintha's Story — Single motherhood, a child in distress, and the path that became a practice
[12:00] Pain With a Purpose — Why she calls separation the best thing that happened to her
[16:00] The Myth of Normal — Why "be brave for the kids" can quietly hurt them
[20:00] Modelling Emotion — Eruption repair, language for feelings, and the gift of honesty
[24:00] Breaking the Pattern — Becoming the parent you wished you had
[28:00] Co-Parenting Without the Charge — Taking the emotion out of the message
[36:00] Self-Regulation, Quickly — Breath, smell, music, water, and the power of preventative care
[42:00] Closing — Be a parent who is present, not perfect
(Timestamps approximate)
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