In this episode, Tessa discusses the importance of owning your worth and the conflicting programming that holds women back from receiving aligned compensation. She shares several decades’ of personal experiences, observations from her time consulting and freelancing, and working with women clients.

Tessa highlights four ways that women undermine their own value, including making business/career decisions based on fear. She encourages women to shift their mindset, appreciate themselves, believe in their own value, and learn to have difficult conversations to stand up for their worth. Tessa emphasizes the need for women to set boundaries and be in integrity with themselves, first, to break the cycle of overperforming and underearning. 

Tessa’s Free Gift: Get access to Tessa's Roadmap to a Soul-Connected Business and her Reignition Roadmap

Get In on the Following:

• Learn four top inner programs you will need to shift to start turning the tide of devaluing yourself
• Recognize your value in the marketplace, so you can avoid one-size-fits-all solutions
• Learn how specific emotional factors often lead women to accept lower compensation or undervalue their services

• Hear examples of what you could do about things when you are feeling undervalued

• Learning how to be assertive in negotiating fair compensation and setting boundaries are crucial skills if you want to succeed over the long-term

• Being in integrity with your worth is essential

* About the Host * 

Tessa Lynne Alburn is a soul connection business coach, author, podcast host and explorer. Tessa believes that every woman has the ability to learn to express their true voice, be heard, and fulfill their dreams.

Her mission is to help women entrepreneurs bring their ideas and authentic feminine voices into the world, so they make a real difference, and receive compensation that reflects their brilliance!

Tessa’s Free Gift: Get access to Tessa's Roadmap to a Soul-Connected Business and Say YES to Your Soul! http://www.tessafreegift.com/ 

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May You Say YES to Your Soul.

Well, hello there. Today before I dive into our topic, which is going to be on your worth, I just wanna share a little something personal with you. I've been back in Baja, Mexico for five weeks now, and when I say back, the reason this is coming up today is it's because this podcast was actually launched in this location. I was invited to come down to Baja and I was like, okay, it'll be hot. It was the middle of the summer, but you know, I think I'll go down there anyway and just check things out and get some snorkeling in and maybe some diving stuff, things like that. 'cause I had been here in the area 30 years ago leading a diving expedition. So a couple months before I was planning to launch my podcast, I came down here and I just started to fall in love with the area and I was really enjoying myself.

So I wanted to share that with you today because I believe this is going to be my home for a while, and I wanted to include you in that celebration. Woo hoo. Okay, let's go ahead and dive on into our topic now, whether you're a woman in business or working for a business or an organization, or maybe you're even just dabbling with the idea of having a business or doing something to where you can sell something. So I think this episode is gonna bring some things to light for you that you wouldn't have considered before around receiving compensation that's in alignment with your value and your soul. There are a lot of people talking about needing to own our value. You know, I hear a lot in coaching forums and communities that I belong to, but what I'm hearing in response to that problem seems to be a one size fits all solution.

And so clients come to me and they're like, this isn't working. Why isn't it working? It's because it's not supposed to. It worked for that person. It's just that we're being told you should wear this one size, but we look frumpy. Or, you know, our features are hidden or it's too tight, or it's this or it's that. But that's what's out there. And I think this is a very complex issue and we can't address it with a one size fits all solution. So we wanna look at some of the different layers. And so I've got a few layers today, like maybe starting points to have a different perspective on value and worth in the marketplace or in the economy. We're all part of it, right? We're all part of the economy. Whether you have a business or not, you're paying rent or you own a house, there's a mortgage, there's money, you're food.

Maybe you have money in the bank or, or you wanna put money in the bank, or maybe you wanna put money somewhere else where it's working better for you than it can be working for you in a bank. So we're all constantly in exchange around money. We need to have it. And some of the things that are getting in the way of having enough of it are what I'm going to address here today. Now, for many years I consulted and freelanced for companies on a different number of projects and I sort of consider those two things slightly different because freelance really was like most of the time, some sort of hourly thing where I was recognized for a specific expertise and I would show up at somebody's office and work whatever schedule I had agreed with them. When I wanted to, Consulting was people were coming to me for my expert opinion and say, I need your support on this project.

So it was usually project based and not filling a gap base. And occasionally when I could settle into a place for a while, while I figured out where I wanted to go next, I also took full-time jobs. And one of the reasons that I did so much freelancing, I think I've shared this before, is because I really appreciate variety. 'cause man, I get into those long-term jobs and it just be like death after a while. So variety is one of my stimulants. You know, it's one of the things that gets me excited about life. So freelancing or consulting has worked really well for me over the years and I learned a lot doing that. I learned things about myself. I also observed a lot of things in other people. And that's what I'm gonna talk about today. Some of that and the programming that we've been receiving around what we're worth and how that has been holding us back.

So let me ask you, have you ever been in a role like at a job where maybe you had a particular title and salary? Usually you have, almost everyone has had a title of some sort, whether you're volunteer or director or VP or assistant or secretary, whatever the title is, there's some sort of commensurate salary that goes along with that title. And there you are going along, you have a general sense of your job description. Usually you have some sort of description. Sometimes it's not a perfect one, but you have some specifics and you know, you're, you're figuring things out. There's certain things that you do when you show up to do your work and you're putting energy into learning the job, right? You're figuring it out. And I think most of you who are here listening to this today are women who want to do well. You wanna do well for others, you wanna do well for the world and you want to do well for yourself. And so there's a certain kind of self-motivation that you probably have had.

Maybe you spend a little bit of extra time learning a technology to help you do your job. Or perhaps you read magazines or you joined a forum or whatever it was. Maybe you even just watched some videos on how to, you know, do a little something better. It could be anything, but there was something that you were doing to grow your expertise. Now, one of the things that I was doing was I used to talk to people, people who were doing the jobs that I was striving for and who had greater expertise than I did. So like whatever it was I was trying to prove upon in my role, I was like, who knows more than I do about that? And I would identify them as a specialist and I would go to them, I'd have little chitchats with them sometimes on breaks. Just like, oh, what do you think of this? And how do you, how would you handle this? And learning from somebody who actually had more experience.

So whether it was maybe the head word processor, you know, uh, or the lead teacher or the psychologist on your team, if you're in the field of human potential or something related to that, you might have one of those. I could then take that information, that expertise, that experience and apply it to whatever I was doing in that role. I'm not saying I became a psychologist, but I am saying I utilized that person's expertise and wisdom to help me be a better leader, for example, or a better manager. So it's very likely there was this energy that you put forth to learn and to grow because you probably wanted the company to succeed, right? If you liked the company, you certainly did. If you wanted to say make a contribution, you did. And I think this is greatly undervalued in most organizations. And there you are, and you're putting all this energy in, you probably really believed in the mission of the company or the organization.

And then something happens and there's, you know, the breaks go on or something changes. It could be something really big. Like in 2008, actually I think it started at the end of 2007, went into 2008 where basically a lot of things converged and then fear factor just got ramped up and growth stopped because so many people around the world were scared to invest and scared to spend their money. Money didn't disappear, they just, people just weren't spending it. And a lot of companies had layoffs, a lot of companies that didn't lay off per se, cut salaries, or maybe they did some combination and maybe you were one of those people that, um, that happened to, like lots of people had salaries cut by 10%, 20% and even more. Or they had their hours significantly cut back, which basically just meant people were kind of limping along with barely enough, you know, to go get the groceries and pay mortgages and rent, et cetera.

But what happened after it was all over and less than five years later, not only was the company still around, but it was back on its feet. It might've even been thriving by then. Five years later, it probably was. You see the companies somehow, the ones that made it through all that often did it on the backs of their employees. But here's what I noticed. I noticed there was a lot of group belief, a lot of meme going around that one say, should stick around for the company, for the good of the company. Oh, I'm not gonna look for anything better. No, they need me now. But where was the compensation for all that extra effort that people put in at that time? Who benefited from all that extra effort? Because most people I know were not only doing their job that they had before, but they were also doing additional roles and trying to manage all of that and not really being able to, suddenly they were stacked up with three, four positions.

And so then there is a stress effect of all the stuff being handed to you suddenly on top of what you already had to do. Well, I can tell you that the owners benefited from that. The companies benefited from that. Sometimes the customers benefited because they could negotiate a deal, but why weren't the employees negotiating deals? You see, I think we did it to ourselves in part because we listened to our emotions and we did not believe enough in ourselves to say, no, wait a second. We didn't stand up and say, okay, sure, I get it. You know, we're, we're going through this hard thing together, but you know what, I want an agreement that once things are back on track, I'll be compensated for the investment of my time and energy in this company. Now do you know anyone that did that? There was opportunity there and most of us did not seize it.

Now, one of the opportunities that I did seize was negotiating my hours. I made a really clear choice. I said, you know, 'cause I got cut, I think it was 10, then it was 20. And then I said, you know, here's what I can do for that salary. And I made that offer and it was accepted and I'm very grateful for that. So I was able to negotiate my time, but I didn't see anybody else doing that, especially women. The men I think were looking at things differently. And the men that I knew anyway at the time, they were more focused on starting something up themselves. They were ready to like just figure something out for themselves. They were looking at other positions. They were looking at how can I break away and how can I do this? But the women, were not mostly the women were just thrusting themselves more into the work at hand. And this is kind of a murdering in a way. Now the great,

So the quote unquote great recession was a big happening, right? And it might not always be occurring, but it is occurring on settler levels. So you might want to take a look at that. Well, you know, what could I be in negotiation around? And another scenario is in the world of consulting. So there you are, maybe you have been doing that and maybe you got a long term gig and then you got, you've got repeat work and you are learning more and more about the company and you're getting paid a fair and equitable fee for your expertise. You're providing an excellent service. And then you start to hear things like, oh, you know, you're really great, you're so amazing, but it something about it's feeling maybe a little hollow. Like why are they singing my praises so much? And then you start to notice that you're being asked to do a little bit less.

I,

And then you start to notice that maybe you're being asked to do less in ah, . And then maybe you start to notice that you're being asked to do more in less time and to knock your prices down. Or, oh, can you throw something else in there because you know the company well, like we don't, we don't have the numbers anymore. We need to save money. Like any, they would've any kind of excuse go back. And over time you, you begin to notice that you're being asked to do more and more in less time and to knock your prices down or maybe give additional things, give additional bonuses if you will, because the company has this or that. Like maybe they don't have the numbers anymore or something else is going on. There's some big emergency or there's gonna be a big training. You know, half of our staff has to get trained. And so there's an excuse and you go along with it.

But I want you to know that if you're doing this, if you are a consultant and you have expertise and people hire you for a rate that you have earned the right to be paid more, the more that you work for them because you're serving at a higher level more, you should be paid more. It's like getting a promotion, not less. Now women fall into this little trap a lot. This is my observation, right? I am not an economist. I could look up numbers all day, but then I start to get cross-eyed and I'm like, you know, these numbers really could be interpreted in a multitude of ways, but I have seen the stuff in action and women feel bad for the company or they get hooked in some other way emotionally to the impact that they're having. And I've heard this across the board in big, you know, multinational corporations to not small little nonprofits to mom and pops.

So this is not limited to a particular kind of industry or a particular type of organization. You could even be in retail. Let's say you're a vendor who's been delivering high quality goods. I had a client who was doing this and you giving the store discounts in the beginning to firm up that relationship and build trust, you know, and you're really giving a lot of handholding and all along you're telling them, this is discounted. You know, I wanna give you this little something special 'cause I want you to get to know me and you know, know the quality of my work that my business provides, et cetera. And then you get to a place where you feel like, you know, wait a second, I need to be charging my regular rates now. And then interestingly, the client starts asking for more, sometimes like getting pushy about it or they're gonna go elsewhere.

Well, I could go somewhere else. I mean the threat is out there and sometimes it's real. Say they will, they will insinuate or give ultimatums, maybe they want more frequency or better this or that. You spend even more time creating products or shopping for them and filling their shelves, but you're not actually making more. This is the problem for women because they think emotionally and they make decisions by convincing themselves that they're making a difference. Or sometimes they, they convince themselves because they're afraid they're gonna lose the customer. So they go along with it and they're not happy about it, but they're just like, ah, I gotta pretend it's okay. And they try to rationalize or discomfort with it away convince themselves that the mission of the company is worth taking a fin financial hit in their lives. So they begin to believe more in their customers than they do in themselves.

And here's the real clinker. Women convince themselves that they can help the company succeed. So they provide even more value at their already reduced rate. They wanna help them. So you see, I want you to take a moment right now and just see if you can make that connection for yourself. You know, do you ever do that? You try to get the company to succeed because you were told as a young girl you should put everybody else's needs before your own. This is a losing proposition. So now I'm gonna give you four things you're gonna need to shift to start turning the tide of devaluing yourself. Instead of taking care of others before yourself, you're going to start putting yourself and your business first. Whatever your business is, whatever your currency is. The second thing is you're gonna wanna start appreciating yourself and really examine and get a real understanding of your value.

I'm not talking about your sole value here. I'm talking about your currency value worth in the marketplace. Whether it's your value in a household or your value as a doctor or on Wall Street, wherever it is, you need to start appreciating yourself and understand the value that you bring. And don't let the numbers tell you what that value is. Wanna look at it the other way around first. And the third thing is you need to believe it. You need to believe in your own value. Because just putting a price tag on something or saying, I need a promotion. You know, I do. I deserve that promotion. How many times have you heard somebody say that? Maybe you've said it yourself. It doesn't work like that. If you're coming from rebellion or frustration. Well, I deserve it because they have it . You know, like that's nonsense.

You need to know what your value is and then believe it. And that energy will start creating a different result for you when you stand in that energy. The fourth thing is you're going to need to face situations rather than avoid them face conflict or you, and 'cause this is part of a thing, you think it's a conflict and it may not be, but you might have need to have some hard conversations sometime. And that could be really scary. But I can promise you, you will live through it. I've done it. I've had hard conversations and I still have to have them. Occasionally I need them. 'cause I'm like, oh wait, what's happening? You know, I'm not feeling good here. Something shifted what happened in this relationship. And we constantly need to monitor our feelings, our senses, and listen to our truth and be ready to speak up for ourselves. I'm also going to suggest that if you're well it, it really applies to any situation. But I want you to have provisions in place for when terms start to change.

So whether you're working for a company or you're consulting, or suddenly, you know, maybe you're even your own entrepreneur and your clients are like, I can't pay that. You want to hold yourself in integrity with what you say you're worth. And so you wanna figure out what is that pre proviso? What do I need to do to make that happen without just being a hard ? Like sometimes there are times when we wanna give somebody a break and we, we wanna have a sale or a , but we don't want to devalue ourselves or our own worth in the doing of it. No one else is going to invest in you or your business or in what you provide unless you own your worth. So you're gonna want to stand up to and then live with consequences. But I will tell you that even if a consequence feels rough or hard or awful at the time, 'cause sometimes it does, when you stay connected to your soul, your guides will provide for you, your soul and your guides will provide for you. You'll know what to do. You'll receive guidance for how to move forward next. And if you're not sure, get some support. 'cause if you don't do these things, you just end up in a vicious cycle of overperforming and underearning. And the person who can stop the cycle is you. It's not the people you contract with, it's you. So you're the one that needs to set boundaries on your worth, that needs to know her worth and keep that integrity.

You know, if you wanna offer a scholarship program, great. Do that. Don't lower your fees or your salary, or suddenly take on multiple jobs out of fear. I'm encouraging you to know your worth and to be in integrity with your own promises to yourself. Make a clean choice and you'll have peace with yourself around it. And this is how we can be a great role model to others. This is how we do it by being integris with ourselves. And this is how we raise the collective consciousness everywhere. And that could be in our families, at our schools, our communities, or globally.

And lastly, I just wanna say, I think as long as we remain stuck in the areas of our worth and value in work, in society, sadly we're contributing to the second class citizenship of women everywhere. And I am pretty certain that that is not the world we want to keep creating. So if you need support with your beliefs or with taking some small steps towards owning your value, I'm inviting you to book a complimentary call with me by going to call with tessa.com. Call with tessa.com. It's a short call. It gets you on track if you need that support. Okay? That's our episode for today. I want to wish you greater things. I want you to have the feeling that comes with knowing your worth than the peace inside yourself and the calming of all the voices, all those little naysayers in there that are second guessing you and trying to keep you safe and doing all the things that they do. 'cause you can do this. You can do what you set your mind to do one step at a time. All right? I will see you next week. Until then, blessings and light. Bye-Bye for now.