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Episode 5: Squat N’ Potty / Richard Rodgers Theater
Episode 57th July 2021 • Review That Review with Chelsey Donn & Trey Gerrald • The Review Queens
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The Review Queens breakdown a 1-Star Review for a knock-off product called, “Squat N' Potty” and a 1-Star Review for Broadway’s Richard Rodgers Theater; home to Hamilton the musical. They discuss the power of a test, Chelsey almost gets a stomach stitch, and Trey plays daddy.

**Submit a 5-Star-Review for the show on Apple Podcasts and email a screenshot of your review to hello@reviewthatreview.com to be entered in the RAFFLE!  You know you need a Review That Review fashion pin and a deluxe ballpoint pen.  

CLICK HERE to submit your review!

(03:17) Lodge A Complaint

(10:17) Squat N' Potty Review

(24:52) Meryl-Go-Round

(30:33) Richard Rodgers Theater Review

(45:42) My Royal Highness

(49:19) Royal Review!

*****

Leave us a voicemail at 1-850-REVIEW-0

WATCH CLIPS on YouTube!

Visit our website for more: www.ReviewThatReview.com

@TheReviewQueens | @ChelseyBD | @TreyGerrald

---

Review That Review is an independent podcast.  Executive Produced by Trey Gerrald and Chelsey Donn with editing and sound design by Trey Gerrald.  Cover art designed by LogoVora, voiceover talents by Eva Kaminsky, and our theme song was written by Joe Kinosian and sung by Natalie Weiss.

Transcripts

THEME SONG:

Everybody's got an opinion.

THEME SONG:

Every Californian and Virgininan.

CHELSEY:

Hello?

TREY:

Hi.

TREY:

Hi, welcome to Review That Review, the podcast dedicated to reviewing...

CHELSEY:

...reviews!

CHELSEY:

We're just like Siskel and Ebert only instead of reviewing cinematic masterpieces, we

TREY:

And that's Chelsey Donn

CHELSEY:

and that's Trey Gerrald.

TREY:

And when we come together, we form

VOICEOVER:

The Review Queens.

CHELSEY:

How's your crown today, Trey?

TREY:

My crown is great today.

TREY:

It's feeling very pointy and spiky.

TREY:

It's a Monday and a little peek behind the curtain.

TREY:

Uh, we're recording episode five right now.

TREY:

We are launching the podcast on Wednesday.

TREY:

So we have less than 48 hours before it's launched into the world.

TREY:

So it's a very exciting time and busy time, but yeah, I'm doing great.

TREY:

How are you?

CHELSEY:

I'm doing great.

CHELSEY:

I just came from oh, a weekend in Ojai.

CHELSEY:

And I am just, you know, more spiritual and relaxed than ever.

CHELSEY:

So I feel good.

TREY:

Wait, so what's Ojai?

TREY:

Explain it to me.

TREY:

I don't really know.

CHELSEY:

Oh, Ojai is a part of town outside of LA.

CHELSEY:

It's like not very far, it's about an hour and a half or so away, and

CHELSEY:

You go there and you just want to be a better person and take in nature and look

CHELSEY:

And it just makes all the trivial things that we deal with every day in life that get us down.

CHELSEY:

It just makes it seem insignificant when compared to the beautiful, vast nature of Ojai.

CHELSEY:

So I highly recommend it

TREY:

That sounds beautiful.

TREY:

Was there, um, any specific reasons...that you were on a trip over the weekend?

CHELSEY:

There might be a reason...

CHELSEY:

it was my birthday, or, it is my birthday tomorrow in real time.

CHELSEY:

So I was going for my birthday.

TREY:

Oh my gosh.

TREY:

So when you're hearing this listeners, uh, her birthday was two weeks ago

CHELSEY:

No!

CHELSEY:

When you're oh, yes.

CHELSEY:

I guess when you're hearing this...

CHELSEY:

It's true.

CHELSEY:

My birthday is June 22nd, which happens to be the same birthday as Meryl Streep, which

TREY:

Well, my, I share a birthday March 14th with, um, an Instagram

TREY:

I saw that today, but also Albert Einstein and Taylor Hanson.

CHELSEY:

I love that for us.

TREY:

Okay.

TREY:

This is very positive and that's wonderful.

TREY:

But do you have any, um, complaints you want to lodge?

CHELSEY:

Always.

CHELSEY:

I think that it's time that we...

VOICEOVER:

Lodge A Complaint.

CHELSEY:

I think....

VOICEOVER:

LODGE A COMPLAINT!

CHELSEY:

Let's Lodge A Complaint!

CHELSEY:

Always feels so good when we do it.

CHELSEY:

I'm gonna Lodge A Complaint today against bad To-Go Containers.

CHELSEY:

I think.

CHELSEY:

This is, , something that a lot of restaurant owners maybe don't pay enough attention to.

CHELSEY:

And also I'm wondering why certain things haven't changed.

CHELSEY:

For me, obviously the styrofoam, that's pretty offensive, you know, like you're just one small

CHELSEY:

I don't know why that's still a thing, but for me, the worst offense is, you know, those.

CHELSEY:

Foil ones that I'm sure they're like, so you can reheat your food.

CHELSEY:

Like how nice.

CHELSEY:

Right?

CHELSEY:

Like I have a little device, but I also have to like unfold, like all the way around.

CHELSEY:

And then if I want to like, do it again, then I have to like refold all the way down.

CHELSEY:

And if you get like the fold, even the littlest bit off that it's like gotta start all over again.

CHELSEY:

And it's maddening and I just wish.

CHELSEY:

I just wish someone would come out with a better To-Go container that

CHELSEY:

That's also not styrofoam and not terrible for the environment.

CHELSEY:

And I think we've been sleeping at the wheel with the, To-Go containers.

CHELSEY:

So whoever is out there and feel so inspired to be the inventor of the, To-Go

CHELSEY:

That we're all gonna love, please, please do it because it's necessary.

TREY:

I hear you so hard on that.

TREY:

And my favorite ones are the paper ones where they like fold in and you do have the little tab, like

TREY:

It would catch fire.

CHELSEY:

Right.

CHELSEY:

See, so it's like, we need more versatility,

TREY:

That's one of those tricky things about those, um, like Chinese takeout,

TREY:

it starts popping and you're like, oh, am I should have died?

TREY:

And only

CHELSEY:

speaking metal in the microwave is not a good thing.

TREY:

Never.

CHELSEY:

How about you?

CHELSEY:

Do you have a complaint you want to lodge?

TREY:

I do.

TREY:

I definitely, I have a very timely complaint that I'm lodging

VOICEOVER:

Lodge A Complaint.

TREY:

I don't know if you can see behind me, Chelsey.

TREY:

I you'll see this on the YouTube, I suppose, but I hung this 240 LED light

TREY:

It's like very Instagrammy it's like a college dorm.

TREY:

Attire, you know, they're just like little string lights.

CHELSEY:

Like Christmas lights.

TREY:

Yeah.

TREY:

They're like tinier, micro Christmas lights.

TREY:

Basically.

TREY:

I put them on this accent wall.

TREY:

Cause I thought, oh, this will be so cute.

TREY:

When I'm recording the podcast, there'll be some bright color behind me.

TREY:

But this wall is full of picture frames with like motivational things because I need that.

TREY:

So in order for the length to be correct, I had to string it underneath some of the major...

TREY:

here I can just show you some of the major posters.

CHELSEY:

Oh, that's major.

TREY:

I spent time doing this, I have six of those little, like, what do you call those?

TREY:

Those little like tape or the little, like things where you pull the tape

CHELSEY:

Command strips.

TREY:

Yeah.

TREY:

Command.

TREY:

That's right.

TREY:

So, okay.

TREY:

I have six of those.

TREY:

I did it.

TREY:

I had to reconfigure all the frames and then I put the batteries in the thing doesn't work.

TREY:

240 of these lights.

TREY:

This is from the company Brookstone, which we all love to go into a Brookstone in the mall.

TREY:

Um, but I guess Brookstone, I'm complaining.

TREY:

Don't go into this frontier of light bulbs.

TREY:

I think you need to stick with your massage chairs.

TREY:

You're like amazing flight apparatus for comfort, but leave the, leave

TREY:

And, uh, my, my day has been ruined.

TREY:

So I'm lodging a complaint against Brookstone and companies that

CHELSEY:

I feel I'm my, my apologies.

CHELSEY:

That sounds like really frustrating.

CHELSEY:

And I'm sorry, you had to deal with that.

CHELSEY:

I will say that I think in the future, If ever something like this will happen,

CHELSEY:

before...

TREY:

It was definitely a learning experience,

CHELSEY:

a learning experience,

TREY:

but it's really even more complicated than I'm even explaining because it's, um,

TREY:

The only way to hang out was to like, hang it appropriately and then undo it.

TREY:

And then you have to stretch it.

TREY:

Cause then they like pop out and then they get into the strings that are hanging.

TREY:

It's a whole thing.

CHELSEY:

Wow.

CHELSEY:

I wonder if like, wasn't it, isn't that a thing with Christmas lights where like, if one

TREY:

Yes.

TREY:

And to Brookstone credit, there is like a hanging extra light bulb, but

TREY:

So I have no idea which one and there's 240.

TREY:

So I'm not going to go through individually.

TREY:

It's like not worth it.

TREY:

It was like $12.

TREY:

Yeah.

TREY:

Right.

TREY:

No way.

TREY:

Anyway.

TREY:

So that's my complaint.

CHELSEY:

I mean, complaint heard.

CHELSEY:

And, my apologies.

CHELSEY:

That sounds very, very frustrating.

CHELSEY:

I think we've had enough of us complaining and I think it's time for us to hear some

TREY:

I love the idea

CHELSEY:

So glad that we agree.

CHELSEY:

As you guys know, we are your trusty Review Queens.

CHELSEY:

We each bring in a review from the internet that we feel needs to be inspected.

CHELSEY:

We will read that review.

CHELSEY:

We will break it down and then we will rate the impact of the review

CHELSEY:

It's a very Regal process that we call,

VOICEOVER:

Assess That Kvetch

TREY:

But Chelsey, for all of the listeners who don't know the dying language of

CHELSEY:

First of all, let's keep Yiddish alive.

CHELSEY:

Okay.

CHELSEY:

It's wonderful language that I love.

TREY:

It only lives through the generation

CHELSEY:

and there's just some things, it just sounds better in Yiddish, like 'Kvetch', which

CHELSEY:

Stop.

CHELSEY:

Kvetching so much."

TREY:

Gesundheit!

CHELSEY:

I didn't sneeze

TREY:

I know my father-in-law always says, "Guzi, guzunt!"

TREY:

Yiddish!

TREY:

All right.

CHELSEY:

Who's first, today.

TREY:

You will be first, last week we did the one and the five, and

TREY:

So you will be first today.

CHELSEY:

Oh my goodness.

CHELSEY:

Okay.

TREY:

So with that, take it away.

TREY:

You Review Queen.

VOICEOVER:

Review That Review.

CHELSEY:

All right.

CHELSEY:

I have a review today from Ashley B and Ashley B is reviewing on Amazon a, what I

CHELSEY:

This is Ashley BS review.

TREY:

What is this?

TREY:

What is a Squatty potty?

TREY:

I'm curious for your explanation,

CHELSEY:

For those of you listening, don't watch shark tank regularly or indulge in, you

CHELSEY:

Uh, the spotty potty is a, like a step stool that tucks into the toilet.

CHELSEY:

And if you're having problems.

CHELSEY:

Going to the bathroom.

CHELSEY:

As some of us are prone to have, no judgment, you can just let this little step stool out in

CHELSEY:

And your experience will be much easier and less stress.

CHELSEY:

So it really took off on shark tank.

CHELSEY:

It's doing phenomenally well, and I hear that generally speaking people are very

CHELSEY:

And I think this was a bit of a cheaper.

CHELSEY:

Option, but sometimes as they say, you get what you pay for.

CHELSEY:

So let's see what Ashley B has to say about this faux Squatty Potty.

CHELSEY:

Okay.

CHELSEY:

She said change the product since summer now.

CHELSEY:

It's crap.

CHELSEY:

That's the title.

CHELSEY:

Very witty Ashley be okay.

CHELSEY:

If I had been leaving this review in June of this year, I would have easily given it five stars.

CHELSEY:

In fact, we loved it so much.

CHELSEY:

My husband and I ordered a new one as soon as we could for our downstairs bathroom.

CHELSEY:

Unfortunately, due to finances, we didn't get the second one until today.

CHELSEY:

I was excited and put it together immediately, but I could already tell it was different.

CHELSEY:

The screws don't sit flush on the new one.

CHELSEY:

So putting the caps over them make, make it look silly.

CHELSEY:

They also put a new logo on it.

CHELSEY:

That looks way less sleek and way more infomercial-esque.

CHELSEY:

They're still advertising in the pictures, the pretty sleek version from before.

CHELSEY:

I would not have ordered this version, if I would've known how

CHELSEY:

I added pictures to show the differences between the two.

TREY:

Wow.

TREY:

Ashley B is not happy with this crappy product.

CHELSEY:

Actually, B is really pissed that her Squatty Faux Potty is not flush.

TREY:

Ashley B wants to take this product.

TREY:

Down into the Sewers and the gutters where it belongs.

CHELSEY:

Just flush that product right down the proverbial drain.

CHELSEY:

Ashley B.

TREY:

She's so mad she needs.

TREY:

She's going to have a diaper rash.

TREY:

I don't know.

TREY:

I don't know.

CHELSEY:

Don't get a hemorhoid.

CHELSEY:

I don't know.

CHELSEY:

What else do we....

TREY:

Oy Gavelt!

CHELSEY:

Oy Gavelt, All right.

CHELSEY:

Ashley B.

CHELSEY:

Ashley B has photographic evidence.

CHELSEY:

Let's just say that first and foremost.

CHELSEY:

I know that obviously you guys can't see what I see, but basically what I'm seeing in

CHELSEY:

It's just, it's not in the proper spot.

CHELSEY:

So what we have is a little bit of a raising of a lip.

CHELSEY:

On top, and we just, we don't have a solid place to put our feet.

CHELSEY:

Now.

CHELSEY:

It doesn't really look like something that would impede my experience of this item.

CHELSEY:

If anything, I'd say like a little bit of an eyesore.

CHELSEY:

I'd rather things be flush as well.

CHELSEY:

But I don't know, like it's seems like it would still serve a purpose to me.

TREY:

Do you think that that is Ashley B's fault?

TREY:

With which the construction of them screwing it together, or do you

TREY:

Like, it's not like,

CHELSEY:

um...

TREY:

because Ikea, you know, you make it yourself, but sometimes you, some

CHELSEY:

I think there's a, there's a high possibility that, you know, whoever was making

CHELSEY:

Where, where things aren't lined up correctly.

CHELSEY:

So I don't know that it's.

CHELSEY:

It's necessarily Ash Ashley B's construction that send it off, especially considering

CHELSEY:

Rather like we've done this before.

TREY:

Good Point.

TREY:

The bulk of this review is so reminiscent of your complaint that you lodged a couple of weeks ago

CHELSEY:

Yeah.

TREY:

That is very maddening.

TREY:

Like if the, um, product gets tweaked, but there's not enough marketing

CHELSEY:

Yeah.

TREY:

Then I do believe that's false advertising and I would be mad about that, too.

CHELSEY:

Yeah, I think I would be pretty mad.

CHELSEY:

I mean, I think, you know, we all buy a lot of products on Amazon, I guess.

CHELSEY:

And sometimes you find a winner you know, and you want to order another one

CHELSEY:

I'm going to order a second one.

CHELSEY:

I think it would be upsetting if the consistency wasn't there.

CHELSEY:

So.

TREY:

Agreed.

TREY:

When was this review, by the way?

CHELSEY:

I feel for Ashley B, this is recent.

CHELSEY:

A lot of people did invest in Squatty Potties over the pandemic because we

CHELSEY:

So this was written in October 14th, 2020,

TREY:

because see, that was going to be my question.

TREY:

If it's recent, I wonder if there was an issue with manufacturing because of

CHELSEY:

Could be.

CHELSEY:

Yeah.

CHELSEY:

And if, and maybe a lot of people really were ordering this product more than usual.

CHELSEY:

And so they really had to churn them out so to speak.

TREY:

Oh my gosh...

CHELSEY:

Could be good.

CHELSEY:

I mean, we're not going to stop with the bathroom puns, right?

TREY:

You know, I, I do come across reviews like this often, specifically on Amazon where

TREY:

So I really think that this is a very valuable review because Ashley B, this is a returning

TREY:

My like, back and forth of that is sort of like, well, if you don't want to

TREY:

Then, you have to get a product that you have to assemble because the actual Squatty

CHELSEY:

No Assembly Required.

TREY:

I actually think this is really valuable that Ashley has put this information in

CHELSEY:

I agree.

CHELSEY:

I also really like agree and that I, I liked that she disclosed us that due to finances, you

CHELSEY:

I feel like that really emphasizes her excitement, which she said she was so

CHELSEY:

It was like, I was saving up for it.

CHELSEY:

I loved the first one.

CHELSEY:

Like I imagine her and her her, her and her husband.

CHELSEY:

Using the same bathroom and then just like waiting for the moment that they're

TREY:

I thought of that too, because she, our Ashley B says that they assembled it as soon

TREY:

Like, I, I feel like Ashley's being very transparent.

TREY:

They're not trying to be bougie.

TREY:

They're not trying.

TREY:

Like lie upwards.

TREY:

They're saying this is my circumstance and this is like what I got and that's incorrect and bad.

TREY:

So therefore, if I had written this in June, it would have been great.

TREY:

This is what's happening now.

TREY:

And you should know, buyer beware.

TREY:

So I appreciate that.

TREY:

And I really receive it as truthful.

CHELSEY:

I agree.

CHELSEY:

I also wanted to point out the whole logo thing.

CHELSEY:

Like I'm a big stickler for that.

CHELSEY:

If your logo is going to be on my product, it better be like small and sleek and just blend in

CHELSEY:

I wouldn't want any product in my home that had, as Ashley B points

CHELSEY:

Like I'm not a salesman for you, I'm just trying to use your product.

TREY:

I do think that I thought there would be more humor in the review based

CHELSEY:

Yes.

TREY:

So I did feel a little let down in the humor entertainment area, although

CHELSEY:

I agree.

CHELSEY:

I had high hopes for the bathroom puns from the title.

CHELSEY:

I don't think we got as many as of them as I thought we were going to get, but

TREY:

And like, we, you and I did it, but like, it's sort of like stupid and like

CHELSEY:

I agree, but like, I think that in just being truthful to what it

TREY:

No,

CHELSEY:

You know, I wouldn't like necessarily be like, oh guys, let me read

TREY:

I'm really, um, finding myself on Ashley B's side here.

TREY:

Tell me, does it look like Ashley B hit spellcheck, before they submitted?

CHELSEY:

Ashley b definitely hit spellcheck.

CHELSEY:

She's, in my guess, at least college educated.

CHELSEY:

She used quotes properly.

CHELSEY:

punctuation, all great.

CHELSEY:

Commas.

CHELSEY:

Periods.

CHELSEY:

Just...

CHELSEY:

appropriate to...

CHELSEY:

difference between the to, too.

CHELSEY:

So I do think Ashley clicked spellcheck maybe even has Grammarly.

TREY:

Hmm.

TREY:

What do you think the, is there an impact here for you?

TREY:

It's a deal breaker.

TREY:

I think it's kind of a, I think it's kind of a deal breaker for me.

CHELSEY:

I think that's sort of a deal breaker.

CHELSEY:

I wouldn't want a subpar product and I would trust somebody that's ordered it twice to

CHELSEY:

I think at very least I might do a little bit more research.

CHELSEY:

Maybe reach out to the seller and say, I've heard this product is good.

CHELSEY:

I probably wouldn't do that.

CHELSEY:

That's not true.

CHELSEY:

I would just click onto the next one.

CHELSEY:

Let's be honest.

TREY:

That's what I would do too, yeah.

TREY:

All right.

TREY:

I think I'm ready to crown this.

CHELSEY:

Me too!

TREY:

All right.

TREY:

So in order to be fair and not influenced by one another Chelsey and I each have

TREY:

So we will simultaneously reveal our rating.

THEME SONG:

The Queens are Tabulating

TREY:

alright, You ready to show?

CHELSEY:

Okay.

CHELSEY:

I am ready.

TREY:

I have a feeling.

TREY:

I have a feeling how this is gonna go.

CHELSEY:

Okay, well, let's see.

VOICEOVER:

Total score.

TREY:

Four, four.

TREY:

That's what I thought.

TREY:

Unanimous.

CHELSEY:

Unanimous.

CHELSEY:

Four crowns.

CHELSEY:

Trey.

CHELSEY:

Why did you give Ashley B four crowns?

TREY:

Honestly, because humor-wise is a little low, but they started with a joke in the title.

TREY:

So for that, love it.

TREY:

To the point!

TREY:

They were self, humbling rather than self-aggrandizing, which I appreciated.

TREY:

Maybe don't have to click see more.

TREY:

It's just to the point there's images, there's evidence of the product.

TREY:

Previous buyer.

TREY:

Therefore, I think I would probably not purchase this.

TREY:

I would scroll to see like other competitors and I would definitely be looking through other reviews

TREY:

So that's why I gave Ashley before crowns for this fake Squatty Potty.

CHELSEY:

Yeah.

CHELSEY:

I'm with you ditto to everything that you just said, and also.

CHELSEY:

I believe that Ashley was a real person that had this experience.

CHELSEY:

that's important to me when I'm reading a review that I feel like there's a real

CHELSEY:

Not some like angry person on the internet or like someone that's a bot

CHELSEY:

This sounded like this was a real person.

CHELSEY:

So Ashley B.

CHELSEY:

Good job.

CHELSEY:

Four crowns.

TREY:

Woo.

TREY:

That was fun.

TREY:

Let's take a quick little break.

TREY:

And then when we come back, we can play with Meryl, before we jump into my review of the week.

CHELSEY:

Woo.

CHELSEY:

Be right back

TREY:

BRBsy,

VOICEOVER:

Hold your crown.

VOICEOVER:

We'll be right back.

TREY:

Hey Review Queens.

TREY:

It's Chelsey and Trey here.

TREY:

We are having a raffle.

TREY:

If you write a review for this podcast.

CHELSEY:

Yeah.

CHELSEY:

It's super exciting.

CHELSEY:

And the best part is you could win a very glamorous Review That

TREY:

It's perfect for a hot date, you know, and you're totally rad pimped out.

TREY:

Denim vest.

CHELSEY:

Pop the bling on.

TREY:

But wait, there's more.

TREY:

We are also throwing into the prize package of very deluxe Review

CHELSEY:

Oh my God.

CHELSEY:

Stop it.

CHELSEY:

It's perfect for writing those first drafts of your five star reviews.

TREY:

All right.

TREY:

So here's how you enter.

TREY:

If you leave us a five star review on apple podcasts, take a quick screenshot.

TREY:

Email us the proof at hello@reviewthatreview.com

CHELSEY:

And we made it super easy with a super cute link.

CHELSEY:

Lovethepodcast.com/thereviewqueens.

TREY:

There's also a one-click link in the show description below.

TREY:

It's easy-peasy, beautiful, Review Queens.

CHELSEY:

Yes.

CHELSEY:

Happy reviewing.

TREY:

Now back to the show.

TREY:

Now a warning?!

TREY:

All right.

TREY:

We're back from the break.

TREY:

And here we are.

TREY:

It's time to take a quick spin on the Meryl-Go-Round.

TREY:

Chelsey, strap into that whale.

VOICEOVER:

I don't feel like an icon, most days, I feel like 'I can't!'

VOICEOVER:

That's with an A.

CHELSEY:

I like how in this Meryl-Go-Round there's whales.

TREY:

Yeah.

TREY:

I thought that might be like a possibility.

TREY:

Like you sit on that fan, maybe?

CHELSEY:

I totally got what you were saying surprisingly, or maybe

CHELSEY:

Strap into your alligator, this, this Meryl-Go-Round has all kinds of crazy animals.

TREY:

Wait, I have a really funny dad joke.

CHELSEY:

Tell me.

TREY:

How do you tell the difference between a crocodile and an alligator?

CHELSEY:

How?

TREY:

Ask and find out which one we'll see you later and which one will see after a while.

CHELSEY:

Oh, wow.

CHELSEY:

Wow.

CHELSEY:

Maybe I'll use that one on my nephew.

CHELSEY:

I think he'll like it.

CHELSEY:

He's five.

TREY:

Yeah, I think it will be a hit.

TREY:

Okay.

TREY:

Anyway, so here's the deal, Chelsea and I each pick a rotten scathing, pithy one star zinger.

TREY:

And with 30 seconds on the clock, we take turns trying to recite the

CHELSEY:

just like Queen Meryl, who does everything

TREY:

...before the clock runs out.

TREY:

Okay.

TREY:

This is going to be fun for me.

CHELSEY:

Okay.

TREY:

So I have a apple podcast review.

CHELSEY:

Great

TREY:

For a podcast called Goodnight, World featuring the beloved Sesame Street

CHELSEY:

I'm like already nervous.

CHELSEY:

Can I be like completely transparent,

CHELSEY:

but

TREY:

Like, what the f?!

CHELSEY:

Also just like in the amount of genres you're going to have to do this and I can't wait.

CHELSEY:

It's going to be great.

TREY:

Oy!

TREY:

All right, so, here we go.

CHELSEY:

All right.

CHELSEY:

Are you ready?

TREY:

I'm ready.

TREY:

I'm ready.

CHELSEY:

Okay.

CHELSEY:

Hi, want to hear Elmo Mo

CHELSEY:

Tom Angeles.

CHELSEY:

I

VOICEOVER:

want to hear Elmo theater.

VOICEOVER:

Hi.

THEME SONG:

Do you want to hear Elmo

VOICEOVER:

pop star?

VOICEOVER:

I wanna hear

CHELSEY:

Trey!

CHELSEY:

That was so good.

TREY:

How many?

TREY:

How many?!

CHELSEY:

I really think that might be a personal best.

CHELSEY:

Was that seven or sex?

CHELSEY:

Let me count.

CHELSEY:

Okay.

TREY:

I don't know, but I hate singing and I hate karaoke, but I

CHELSEY:

Trey.

CHELSEY:

That was six!

CHELSEY:

Epic job.

TREY:

Whoa!

CHELSEY:

Wow.

CHELSEY:

Impressed.

TREY:

All right, your turn.

TREY:

What is your zinger today?

CHELSEY:

Okay.

CHELSEY:

My zinger for the day is from Google reviews.

CHELSEY:

It is a one star review from NA Yan, Wu of the Wilson and Harding

CHELSEY:

NA says so busy give up exercise.

TREY:

What?

TREY:

Okay...

TREY:

Great!

CHELSEY:

So busy give up exercise

TREY:

Is golfing exercising?

CHELSEY:

I always thought golfing was more social then exercise.

TREY:

I thought it was a sport.

TREY:

Okay.

TREY:

Well, whatever.

TREY:

All right.

TREY:

Good job.

CHELSEY:

No, it's just, I guess it's a sport, but like don't you ride around

CHELSEY:

I'm just distracting.

CHELSEY:

Cause I am nervous, but let's not waste any more time.

TREY:

All right.

TREY:

How are we go.

TREY:

Strap, strap into that whale honey.

CHELSEY:

Got put into that whale.

TREY:

AlrIght here we go.

TREY:

Okay,

TREY:

theater

TREY:

busy.

TREY:

Give up exercise

TREY:

Shakespeare.

TREY:

So

VOICEOVER:

busy.

THEME SONG:

Give up

VOICEOVER:

pop star.

CHELSEY:

give up.

TREY:

Disney

TREY:

Yankee.

TREY:

Eww, that was cutting it close.

CHELSEY:

That was cutting it close.

TREY:

Let's see 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and then the Yankee was six.

TREY:

So.

TREY:

So it's a tie.

TREY:

I almost want to give the one to you cause you have like a clean.

TREY:

let's just take a bow together.

CHELSEY:

Okay.

CHELSEY:

You're right.

TREY:

It's just a game.

TREY:

It's not that serious.

CHELSEY:

It's not that serious.

CHELSEY:

Yes.

CHELSEY:

But I almost like, I don't know, got a little bit of a stomach stitch stepping

CHELSEY:

I'm all right.

CHELSEY:

In case anyone was concerned.

TREY:

And the alligator was very snappy.

CHELSEY:

Oh, you with the dad jokes today.

CHELSEY:

I love it.

CHELSEY:

It's great.

VOICEOVER:

Review that review.

CHELSEY:

Okay.

CHELSEY:

We are back from that rousing game break.

CHELSEY:

And it's your turn Trey?

CHELSEY:

Where is your review from this week?

TREY:

Al right, so this is from TripAdvisor.

CHELSEY:

Okay.

TREY:

So it's a one dot review from Dan R for the Richard Rogers theater.

TREY:

In New York city, it's a Broadway house, which is currently a

CHELSEY:

Um, no.

CHELSEY:

What show is at Richard Rogers.

TREY:

It's just little, little, little small production called Hamliton.

CHELSEY:

Oh, right.

CHELSEY:

I saw it there.

CHELSEY:

I just didn't remember that that was Richard Rogers.

TREY:

Alright, and this is the review...

CHELSEY:

and is it, am I allowed to ask upfront if it's about a specific

TREY:

You're going to find out, real quick.

CHELSEY:

I'm about to find out.

CHELSEY:

All right.

CHELSEY:

I'm getting ahead of myself.

CHELSEY:

All right.

CHELSEY:

Let's hear from Dan R

TREY:

I, but that's a great question, actually.

TREY:

Okay.

TREY:

Okay.

TREY:

Smallest theater seats.

TREY:

Beware.

TREY:

After seeing Hamilton, my email to their customer service.

TREY:

I want to express my extreme displeasure regarding my family's visit to your

TREY:

We waited caps months to see Hamilton with great anticipation only to be completely disappointed

TREY:

We sat in the mezzanine parentheses, R mez, end parentheses row, D seats 6, 8, 10, and 12.

TREY:

The seats were so small that my knees were pressed firmly against the wooden barrier in front of me.

TREY:

There was no opportunity to shift in any way.

TREY:

It was physically painful.

TREY:

We considered leaving.

TREY:

My mother-in-law who is 89, had to sit on an angle to fit and her hip is still

TREY:

My wife is five, four, and she could not move her legs either.

TREY:

We feel that this row was added as a retrofit.

TREY:

I can't imagine that every seat has the same dimensions.

TREY:

Had these seats been identified as small, we would have never purchased them.

TREY:

We find it so disconcerting that we left the show, knowing that the performance was

TREY:

Intermission and the end of the show were welcomed relief.

TREY:

I am asking that you consider this email as an opportunity.

TREY:

We'd like to see the show again, and we'd like to have house seats.

TREY:

I think this is fair and hope that you do as well.

TREY:

I look forward to hearing from someone in your organization to resolve this matter, enter, enter.

TREY:

They responded saying, sorry, you were uncomfortable.

TREY:

That's it.

TREY:

Dot, dot, dot.

TREY:

I will never.

TREY:

Go there again.

TREY:

That's for sure.

CHELSEY:

Wow.

CHELSEY:

Dan R, I have to be honest.

CHELSEY:

I feel Dan R's pain.

TREY:

I mean, the seats at Broadway houses are from like the 1910s.

TREY:

So they are very small.

TREY:

That is very common.

TREY:

I just, I have to interrupt to point out.

CHELSEY:

Yes.

TREY:

That Dan R purchased tickets in the rear mezzanine and is requesting house

TREY:

This review was written in 2015.

TREY:

We've been shut down because of the pandemic, but, you can not get house seats and

TREY:

And you bought Reger mezzanine seats.

TREY:

Sorry.

TREY:

I'm sorry.

CHELSEY:

Can I tell you like a little like secret that I'm announcing on the podcast?

CHELSEY:

I saw Hamilton in the house seats.

CHELSEY:

I did.

TREY:

Do you think that that was a better seat than purchasing a seats in rear mezz

CHELSEY:

I think, and I know from personal experience that it was night and day, you

CHELSEY:

So that's how I was sitting there, but I've spent a lot of time in the rear mezzanine.

CHELSEY:

I'm not always fancy and I'm a.

CHELSEY:

You know, larger, full, figured, beautiful woman.

CHELSEY:

And they, you know, they did make them smaller back then.

CHELSEY:

I think it's the food preservatives, but that's a whole nother discussion.

CHELSEY:

Okay.

TREY:

I agree!

CHELSEY:

they really should renovate the seats.

TREY:

So I picked this review because I'm really of two minds here.

CHELSEY:

Yeah.

TREY:

To the point about the house seats, like how seats are the last tickets to go

TREY:

So that's how those work.

CHELSEY:

Right.

TREY:

And I recognize that it costs more money to not be in the rear mezzanine.

TREY:

So I'm not trying to make a classist point here, but I just have a, I personally.

TREY:

Have a thing that I cannot buy in the rear mezzanine because it's a horrible seat.

TREY:

So, I mean, you just can't see anything.

TREY:

I mean, the amount of times I've seen shows that far back it's like,

TREY:

There are many crafty ways in which to get better seats.

TREY:

Anyway, we're sort of on a tangent here, but yes, I also agree that the seats in Broadway houses

TREY:

Literally those seats were so close.

TREY:

Like you would be, your knees would literally be touching the seats in front of you.

CHELSEY:

Yeah.

TREY:

But it sounds to me like Dan.

TREY:

Has made up a truth for himself that this row was retrofit.

CHELSEY:

I know, that was pretty funny,

TREY:

which like, I feels a little Kareny to me, but I'm actually going to pull

TREY:

And I'm going to confirm that these seats, since they, Dan gave us the actual locations,

CHELSEY:

Oh, good research.

CHELSEY:

Yeah.

CHELSEY:

I think that that was kind of funny, but in terms of the rear mezzanine thing, it

CHELSEY:

At some point, even the cast got really upset and they were like, we need to put

CHELSEY:

These tickets for, even through TicketMaster, it was crazy the amount of money you

CHELSEY:

So I don't fault Dan R for sitting in the rear mezzanine.

CHELSEY:

I think it was such a popular and it was and is such a popular show when was this written

TREY:

2015?

CHELSEY:

Yeah.

CHELSEY:

So like in 2015, this was the hottest ticket in town.

CHELSEY:

And to get any seat, if you had to do, I think my sister did standing room or

CHELSEY:

Like there were things that you were doing to see the show people made a lot of, even if Dan

CHELSEY:

That was just the kind of show that it was.

TREY:

Yeah.

CHELSEY:

I don't really fault him.

CHELSEY:

I mean, yeah.

CHELSEY:

Like it was sort of funny when he was like, you should give me house seats, but I think.

CHELSEY:

The response should have been a little bit more than that on the one hand, on the other

CHELSEY:

I've had to contort my body into all kinds of shapes to see a Broadway show.

CHELSEY:

And it is distracting.

TREY:

Mmm-hmm.

CHELSEY:

It does take away from the performance and what's happening on

CHELSEY:

When you're like my foot's asleep, I got to like re you know, it's definitely

CHELSEY:

And I'll say on the flip side, when I do go to a theater, that's been updated like a Broadway

CHELSEY:

It is like, what a delight.

TREY:

Totally.

CHELSEY:

You know, it is worth the price of admission to have a good

TREY:

I also really love that Dan are sent an email and then just copy pasted

CHELSEY:

I was going to laugh about that.

CHELSEY:

That was the first thing that I wrote down.

CHELSEY:

I was like my email, like I like circled it.

CHELSEY:

And then also I wanted to be reminded, I think you said it already, but who did

TREY:

Customer service.

TREY:

So I actually, I don't know if it went to the Shuberts, I'm wondering who customer service is.

TREY:

It might've been Telecharge,

CHELSEY:

That's what I mean, like, I wonder who customer service is because you would have to

CHELSEY:

And I don't know that this email through customer service would have gotten there.

CHELSEY:

So I do feel like Dan R.

CHELSEY:

Was wanted to make sure that his email had more of an audience than just whoever received this

TREY:

All of it, I mean, except for the first sentence in the last sentence,

TREY:

It's not owned by the Shuberts it's owned by the Nederlander.

CHELSEY:

Hmm, the other royalty of broadway,

TREY:

I feel like JuJamson.

TREY:

Well, there are, who cares?

TREY:

We're in the weeds,

CHELSEY:

There's a handful of them.

CHELSEY:

Anyway.

CHELSEY:

Point is I agree with Dan R, I know that he's being truthful.

CHELSEY:

I understand how upset he is.

CHELSEY:

I would be upset too.

CHELSEY:

If I waited two months to see a show and I was really excited about it and I couldn't enjoy

CHELSEY:

I want to validate that experience.

CHELSEY:

I also want to validate the fact that Dan R wrote this review for the Richard

CHELSEY:

You know, I think, I think he would have enjoyed the show more.

CHELSEY:

I think he wanted to enjoy the show more.

CHELSEY:

I think he's a patron of the arts and he really wanted to enjoy this production of

CHELSEY:

Impeded his ability to, you know, enjoy in this, this wonderful historical theater experience.

CHELSEY:

And I think that this is an experience that it can be expected.

CHELSEY:

I mean, if you're going to go to the theater, expect to be cramped.

TREY:

I was going to say that as well.

TREY:

Like I do think it's actually very valuable.

TREY:

I kind of went in hard about the rear mezzanine, which is sort of a tangent, but I remember I saw.

TREY:

The Romeo and Juliet, the Romeo and Juliet with Orlando Bloom and Condola Rashad.

TREY:

And I was in the last row of the orchestra.

TREY:

And I couldn't see the balcony scene because the mezzanine overhangs row L

TREY:

I couldn't see the balcony scene of Romeo and Juliet because the balcony was so low.

CHELSEY:

Yeah.

CHELSEY:

I mean, I I've purchased...

TREY:

...so, the theater has problems...

CHELSEY:

Yeah.

CHELSEY:

I've purchased what they deem partial view seats.

CHELSEY:

I saw Sweeney Todd behind a column.

CHELSEY:

Like anything, anything that happened to the left or the right of the column, I could see.

CHELSEY:

Any, any action that happened, right.

CHELSEY:

Smack there, align with the column I just missed.

CHELSEY:

I just missed that part.

TREY:

I wonder if, um, Broadway will take this opportunity to listen to Dan R since it's been

CHELSEY:

I hope so.

CHELSEY:

I mean, I do feel bad, like in the context of the world right now, and

CHELSEY:

And so many people that depended on the livelihood of Broadway or are not able to work

TREY:

I just don't see it happening because it's all about money and like, you gotta sell

TREY:

But I will say that Dan R has beautiful spelling, definitely crafted this to perfection.

CHELSEY:

I was going to say Dan R was giving me professor vibes.

TREY:

Disconcerting is such a good word.

CHELSEY:

Yeah.

CHELSEY:

Professor Dan R.

TREY:

And we like, we both agree.

TREY:

This is very, a common experience with both have experiences like this.

TREY:

And I don't find this to be humorous as much as I wanted it to be.

CHELSEY:

Exactly.

CHELSEY:

I mean, no, um, disrespect for, to your wonderful performance, which is always solid.

CHELSEY:

And great.

CHELSEY:

Just don't want you to think that the lack of humor had anything to do with you.

CHELSEY:

It didn't.

CHELSEY:

I just think it's not that funny of an issue.

CHELSEY:

Like it's absolutely accurate and it's true.

CHELSEY:

I wasn't laughing.

CHELSEY:

I wasn't entertained, I wouldn't read it around a campfire, like I said, but I think it's truthful.

CHELSEY:

Are we ready to crown this, you think?

TREY:

I think I'm ready.

TREY:

I also just want to say that I love that they took their 89 year old mother-in-law to see Hamilton.

CHELSEY:

Oh, I know that it sounds like it was a whole family affair, which is

TREY:

Yeah.

TREY:

It is.

TREY:

Especially that show.

TREY:

All right.

TREY:

So let's

CHELSEY:

Dan R.

CHELSEY:

What a good son.

TREY:

All right.

TREY:

Let's crown it.

CHELSEY:

Let's do it.

THEME SONG:

The Queens are Tabulating.

TREY:

I'm a little conflicted, but all right.

TREY:

Are you ready?

CHELSEY:

Okay, I'm ready.

TREY:

Okay.

VOICEOVER:

Total Score!

TREY:

Yeah,

CHELSEY:

We did it again!

CHELSEY:

It's a, it's a four crown kind of show.

TREY:

It's interesting because I feel like similarly, Dan R and Ashley B were just

TREY:

And I just, I do think it's kind of funny too, but Hey, squeaky wheel gets the grease

TREY:

So, If you want to, if Dan are wants to request that he is given house seats, then go for it.

TREY:

You know, manifest it baby.

CHELSEY:

I felt similarly.

CHELSEY:

I think that Dan R was honest, again, felt like a real human to me, really felt for

CHELSEY:

He really was anticipating seeing Hamilton.

CHELSEY:

And I think that he was being truthful in his assessment of the theater

So Dan R:

Four crowns.

So Dan R:

Well-deserved

TREY:

I'm in agreement.

TREY:

All right, Chelsey, should we jump into the most Regal portion of our show?

TREY:

Who are you inducting for...?

VOICEOVER:

My Royal Highness

CHELSEY:

Okay.

CHELSEY:

Well, I, stayed at the Capri hotel in Ojai.

TREY:

Wait.

TREY:

That sounds so chic.

CHELSEY:

I know it's not the like chicest, but it has the best energy.

CHELSEY:

It's not the fanciest, but I love the Capri and mostly.

CHELSEY:

someone that works there, I believe he's the general manager or his name is Jeff.

CHELSEY:

And he was just lovely.

CHELSEY:

In addition to serving me just like realness and compassion and just like not throwing a

CHELSEY:

I think he should have a Ted Talk, but he doesn't want to because he

CHELSEY:

And I just think that that's beautiful.

CHELSEY:

And Jeff, thank you.

CHELSEY:

And I almost like don't want to tell people in a way how great the Capri

CHELSEY:

But as a Review Queen, I feel compelled to let you know that you should go to the Capri hotel.

CHELSEY:

It's so great.

CHELSEY:

Yeah.

CHELSEY:

And say hi to Jeff for me and everyone that works there is so welcoming when you go there,

CHELSEY:

They're like, Chelsey, thanks for being here.

CHELSEY:

Or like, oh, so good to see you.

CHELSEY:

and so they're great.

CHELSEY:

So Jeff, from the Capri hotel in Ojai, you are my Royall Highness.

TREY:

Wow!

TREY:

Congratulations, Jeff.

TREY:

That's a huge honor.

CHELSEY:

Yes, Trey.

CHELSEY:

How about you?

CHELSEY:

Who's your Royal Highness.

TREY:

Okay.

TREY:

So I'm trying something new for today.

TREY:

I found in my Royal Highness inductee that I don't actually know, but I found this story online.

TREY:

There is a woman who turned 90 years old and her.

TREY:

granddaughter wanted to throw her a huge birthday celebration because she really missed her

TREY:

And so the granddaughter Stephanie thought, well, why can't I just do

CHELSEY:

Awwww!

TREY:

Chelsey, she literally threw a princess themed party.

TREY:

This 90 year old woman is wearing a t-shirt that says.

TREY:

It took 90 years to look this good, she is in a huge rufflely tulle, pink, puffy Tutu.

TREY:

And she has a little, cock-eyed like 90 crown that's like glittery and

CHELSEY:

Queen!

TREY:

Totally queening vibes.

TREY:

And so that really touched my heart.

TREY:

So I am inducting both Stephanie and her G ma for my Royal Highness.

CHELSEY:

That's so special.

CHELSEY:

I love this part of the show.

TREY:

It doesn't just like make you smile.

TREY:

Like she's 90 and she's wearing a Tutu.

CHELSEY:

Uh, we got to put her, we're going to put her on the Instagram or something

CHELSEY:

Shall we keep the regality flowing and read a Royal Review?

TREY:

Yes!

TREY:

I love this part.

TREY:

Let's do it!

CHELSEY:

Okay.

CHELSEY:

All right.

CHELSEY:

Well, every, so often we like to feature one of our very own reviews from listeners like you

TREY:

that's right.

TREY:

But a review from one of our listeners is not any ordinary review, honey.

TREY:

It's what we call a "Royal Review!"

VOICEOVER:

"Baby, it's time for some Royal Reviews!"

CHELSEY:

Okay.

CHELSEY:

Well, this Royal Review is from JLHlistener108, who I have a feeling I know who this is.

CHELSEY:

She gave us Five crowns and sh I mean, I'm giving it away cause I'm saying

CHELSEY:

My review may end up on the show, but it's a worthy risk to take, to

CHELSEY:

These two crack me up and I can't wait to hear many more reviews, reviewed great concept.

CHELSEY:

Great hosts.

TREY:

Awwww!

CHELSEY:

Isn't that so nice.

TREY:

Wow.

TREY:

Thank you, JLHlistener108!

CHELSEY:

That's Jenny Hoof.

CHELSEY:

I gotta be, I gotta be real and call out my girl.

CHELSEY:

Thank you, Jenny, who have my caught my freshman and sophomore year college

CHELSEY:

And yeah.

CHELSEY:

Phenomenal Pilates instructor and "Watch That Rock Pilates."

CHELSEY:

I love you.

CHELSEY:

And thank you so much for your sweets.

CHELSEY:

Sweet review, hoof.

TREY:

I guarantee you

CHELSEY:

Or, JLHlistener108.

TREY:

I guarantee you, if you want to be read on Royal Reviews.

TREY:

Write a sentence that says I'm nervous that this is going to end up on the show because honey, I

CHELSEY:

I know I thought the same exact thing.

CHELSEY:

So funny, speaking of, if you want to be featured on one of our Royal Reviews, then

TREY:

And if you hate the pod, you can hate review us with five stars.

TREY:

That'll really get our little goats.

TREY:

So true.

CHELSEY:

We've made it super easy with a super cute link.

CHELSEY:

Lovethepodcast.com/thereviewqueens.

TREY:

And there's also a one-click link in the show description below it's

CHELSEY:

So easy.

CHELSEY:

I can't wait to experience it myself.

TREY:

We did it.

TREY:

That's only now they're around in the books, Chels.

CHELSEY:

It's crazy.

CHELSEY:

It feels like it's just flying by.

CHELSEY:

I hope it feels the same way for you guys.

CHELSEY:

Thank you guys for joining us today.

CHELSEY:

If you like what you heard, please tell a friend,

TREY:

if you didn't like what you heard, tell an enemy.

TREY:

If you want to Lodge your own Complaint, Submit your own Review or share with the world

TREY:

Leave us a voicemail!

TREY:

Our a voicemail box number is 1-850-REVIEW-Zero.

CHELSEY:

You can also follow us on all the socials @TheReviewQueens.

CHELSEY:

And I'm @ChelseyBD

TREY:

and I'm @TreyGerrald with two RS, become a member of the Royal Court by joining our

CHELSEY:

And remember, ignore the haters.

CHELSEY:

You're a queen.

TREY:

Gender non-specific queen.

CHELSEY:

Always.

CHELSEY:

Bye,

TREY:

Bye.

CHELSEY:

Bye.

TREY:

Bye!

CHELSEY:

Bye!

TREY:

Review That Review is an independent podcast.

TREY:

Certain names have been redacted or changed to protect the guilty.

TREY:

Executive produced by Trey Gerrald and Chelsey Donn with editing and sound designed by

TREY:

Our cover art was designed by LogoVora and our theme song was written by Joe