In this episode, Nicole (she/her) shares the 2023 Solidarity Apothecary Review and plans for 2024! The episode signposts to all sorts of resources from free workshops, to upcoming courses, podcast episodes, crowdfunders and more.

Content warning – some references to prison, suicide, border violence, pregnancy

Links & resources from this episode

• 2023 Review Post (with all the links mentioned)
• Herbalism, PTSD & Traumatic Stress Course
• Herbalism, PTSD & Traumatic Stress Course Waiting List
• Mobile Herbal Clinic Calais Crowdfunder
• Calais Clinic Wishlist
• Plants Know No Borders & Solidarity Knows No Borders merchandise!! (deadline is the 18th January)
• Herbalism, Incarceration and Abolition Workshop
• Queers Hate Prisons T-shirts
• International Solidarity Movement Podcast
• ISM Crowdfunder

Find them all at solidarityapothecary.org/podcast/

Support the show

Music from Sole & DJ Pain – Battle of Humans | Plant illustrations by @amani_writes | In solidarity, please subscribe, rate & review this podcast wherever you listen.

Welcome to the Frontline Herbalism podcast with your host Nicole Rose from the Solidarity Apothecary.

This is your place for all things plants and liberation.

Let's get started.

Hello folks, happy new year.

I know it doesn't feel very happy right now with everything that's happening in the world and the ongoing genocide in Gaza.

But I hope if you're listening to this that you are as safe as can be.

And that maybe you've been able to have a little bit of a rest or maybe you've been super busy and you're teetering on the edge right now.

Yeah, I'm thinking of you.

Thankfully, I'm doing a lot better.

Like, I kind of hit five and a half months with the pregnancy, so a couple of weeks ago, and it was like a switch just flipped and my kind of vomiting stopped.

And yeah, it's been very revolutionary to feel like I don't want to throw up constantly.

Like I still have patches of nausea through the day and I still have to be really careful with what I eat and my partner's just like on top of it with making sure I'm eating regularly and things.

But yeah, like we went to Sainsbury's and I just like burst into tears because it was like the first time in nearly six months that I've like gone in a shop because like visual triggers of food have just made me vomit.

And it just felt amazing being able to actually, like, pick some things to eat, d'you know what I mean?

So yeah, I'm just kind of now, like, oh shit, trying to catch up on, like, six months of stuff.

And also trying to organise solidarity stuff and prisoner support and all the things, but I'm still pretty housebound, unfortunately.

Driving still makes me pretty nauseous.

So, yeah, just doing what I can from here.

But this episode I wanted to share the kind of 2023 review that I've published on my website, and I also wanted to plug a few different things, a few different crowdfunders, and some more amazing merchandise for Calais.

And then I'm gonna publish the Herbalism and Incarceration Workshop audios over the next few podcasts, so we'll talk about that soon.

But yeah, for now, let's, let's dive in.

You can also read this review on my website, I'll put a link in the show notes.

Yeah, I Yeah, I don't know if I enjoy listening to like, loads of other projects, reviews and things, but I just want to say like, it's signposts to like, a million and one different resources and podcasts and workshops and different things and I think if you are an organiser you'll find it interesting, if you're a herbalist, You'll hopefully find it interesting and maybe inspiring and yeah, I've tried to kind of put as many like resources in there as possible while also kind of sharing what the Apothecary has been up to.

I think for me it's really important to be like accountable of people's donations, like to my to like Solidarity Apothecary, but also to projects like Calais to share what we've been doing.

I also think it's just kind of like good practice in general for people to reflect on what they're doing.

It's something I've always done in like all my different collectives.

You know, I also have four planets in Capricorn, so this is like my favorite time of year.

In terms of, like, planning and reflecting and, like, making new goals and, like, yeah, making spreadsheets and analyzing expenses and just, like, that stuff's, like, porn to me.

Do you know what I mean?

So it's like, it might not be as interesting to other people, but I personally, like, really enjoy kind of, yeah, acknowledging achievements, but also reflecting on what's maybe not learned and what goals haven't been achieved.

Yeah.

All right.

So here we go.

Okay, so the mission of the Solidarity Apothecary is to materially support revolutionary struggles and communities with plant medicines to strengthen collective autonomy, self defense and resilience to climate change, capitalism and state violence.

And each year I review the work towards this goal.

So just a bit of a content warning, there's some mentions of suicide and prison and border violence.

and invasion, and war, and occupation, and also pregnancy.

So yeah, just want to flag up those things.

It just is always the way with the apothecary because I focus on supporting people experiencing state violence, so it's always, yeah, somehow a bit heavy.

Okay, so I'm just gonna, just gonna read what I've written here.

2023 has been a mix of incredible life changing events, coupled with months of hellish nausea and vomiting in my pregnancy that took me to despair and back.

This year I got together with the love of my life, Rob fell pregnant and adopted the most gorgeous rescued dog who's called Beau and maybe you've seen his pictures on Instagram.

He's an absolute heartthrob as is Rob.

For the first time I also finally started to seriously address my workaholism by attending meetings with Workaholics Anonymous.

I've moved from compulsive overactivity to much more balance and rest with an outpouring of love and cuddles from my two soon to be three boys.

I know obviously our baby can Embrace whatever gender they want as they're growing up and however they feel but yeah, he does have a willy So we're gonna kind of interact with him as a boy but yeah with freedom and flexibility of just kind of like fuck gender and he can be whoever he wants to be Okay side note, right?

I feel like somebody loves me not just for being an organizer or comrade but for who I am without all the bullshit layers I've always recognized relationships as revolutionary and this year has been Incredibly life changing in that respect Aside from the rockabilly love nest, what went down in 2023 for the solidarity apothecary?

And I just want to apologize in advance that like, I'm quite breathless with the pregnancy so the listening pleasure might not be as nice as normal if that makes sense because yeah it's hard with this little one pulling on my ribs.

Okay so first point.

creating and launching the herbalism PTSD and traumatic stress course.

So this March I finally launched the herbalism PTSD and traumatic stress course.

This was a huge deal for me, it felt like birthing the culmination of my life's work and experiences, thousands of hours of self education about trauma and herbalism and brought everything together that I've learned from all the people I've met or supported through state violence and trauma.

It was like hard graft creating it, but it felt amazing when it was finally finished.

Alas, I'm sure it will always be a work in progress.

The course was a huge financial experiment with my anti capitalist approach of no one turned away for lack of funds.

It was a big leap of faith and more than 75 percent of enrollees joined using the sliding scale place either a free or a small donation.

But enough people paid to make it worthwhile and to sustain my livelihood and the apothecary's cost until a second launch this October.

Yeah, I just want to say that I'm so grateful to everyone who trusted me and enrolled and all the community support in promoting it.

Some of the testimonials have just blown me away.

It's hard as a kind of femme who survived abuse from people with power, whether that's men in my childhood or prison officers as an adult, like to feel the confidence to create something and to share it.

You know, there's like so much fear about what People will think, will it be good enough?

Am I qualified to do this?

Etc.

I actually like kind of dig really deep, you know, but I'm so grateful I took the risk because like the impact has exceeded my expectations.

And you can see some of the amazing testimonials on the course page.

I'm gonna hopefully be launching it again this autumn, probably the beginning of October, is when I was thinking I will kind of gently try to start working again with the baby, like just part time.

But yeah, the best thing you can do is join the waiting list.

You also get a discount if you join the waiting list and it really helps me to kind of gauge like how many people are interested.

Yeah, so there's links to that on the page.

Actually, I'll put them in the show notes.

But yeah, I just wanted to say thank you again to everyone who signed up.

And if you've been enjoying it, like please share a testimonial with me.

Like you have no idea how much it helps to kind of promote the course and also made me feel like, okay, this was like a worthwhile investment of my time and energy.

You know, it's something that I want to keep like building over the years, like I'd love to have different collections of bonuses with different workshops with different practitioners and like, yeah, deep dive into some of the stuff.

But I think right now, you know, there's 60 lessons like it's pretty hardcore as it is.

But yeah, I am proud.

That it kind of worked and that yeah, I launched it in March and October and I've got enough cash now to like sustain me through my maternity leave, which is amazing until I launch it again.

So yeah, I'm just, I'm just so grateful to everyone's support with it.

All right, number two is the mobile herbal clinic Calais herbal solidarity against the border regime.

So in 2023, I made four trips to Calais with the mobile herbal clinic following on from six last year ending in May.

So I did kind of like the whole winter.

I would have done more, but obviously excitedly found out I was pregnant in August.

For people who don't know, the Mobile Herbal Clinic is a dedicated mobile clinic serving refugees in Calais and Dunkirk in northern France.

Yeah, and just because I stopped going, it didn't mean that, like, the team haven't stopped going, if that makes sense.

It's just I only did four trips myself this year.

But yeah, the trips, like, never seem to reduce in intensity.

It's always massive amounts of work as a field coordinator making everything happen and coordinating, like, relentlessly.

logistics.

Yeah, on one of the trips, we responded to our project's like first kind of active gunshot wound, something I'm unlikely to forget.

And yeah, just the conditions that just continue to worsen all the time with like unrelenting evictions, awful living conditions, police violence, and like constant racism.

So since I've not been able to like physically go out, which was like a bit of a shock for the project, if that makes sense, and you know, like, I wasn't expecting to get pregnant quite so fast.

So yeah, it was it was a kind of, oh shit, Nicole can't come, shit, what are we gonna do?

But like, it's amazing how people have just kind of come together.

But yeah, I've been doing my best to keep, to kind of stay involved.

Obviously, it's been really hard with the vomiting and stuff, but we've had two, like, info nights, actually, before the vomiting started.

So one was like an online event that we've got a replay of, if anyone wants to see it.

It's where we're kind of just like, introducing the project and how to get involved.

And I also did a talk in Swansea about like health solidarity on the border organized by No Borders Swansea, which was tons of, well, it's not fun talking about Calais, but it was fun because I got a really amazing roast dinner and got to hang out with my friends rescued bulldog, who's just gorgeous.

He's got his own Instagram account, by the way, called Prince the Bulldog or something like that.

But yeah, we also published, like, a wish list.

So this was a list of, like, kind of non herbal things that we really value, like heat packs or, like, sanitizer, things like that.

So I'll put that in the show notes and if there's anything on that that you can kind of, like, blag or steal from work, we'd love to have it.

We also put a call out for translators.

So we have these kind of, like, WhatsApp groups of different people.

speak in different languages and then when we're in the field we can text the group and be like, hey can anyone like translate Pashto like right now and then whoever is available if someone is they reply and then we call and then we just have them on speaker and it's like active translation and it's just yeah it's like a really effective method I learned from a comrade in Paris who does a lot of refugee work and yeah I think it's It's the way forward for us, because it's always been a challenge.

You know, sometimes we have people who speak different languages on the team, but then they want to be doing, like, the clinical stuff, they don't want to just be working as a translator all day.

We've only got, like, four seats in the car, sometimes three if there's a different van, so it's like, can't really carry translators around with us.

So yeah, this seems to be solving our problems.

We also ran two kind of massive merchandise launches in order to keep the project going.

With our really gorgeous, like, Plants No No Borders and Solidarity Knows No Borders t shirts, hoodies, aprons and tea towels.

And I'd like to say that we've decided to do it again because the printers kind of got in touch with me and said listen We've got some time in January and the project is so broke that I just thought fuck it.

Let's do it I'm feeling a little bit better.

I'll just go at it hard So yeah, I'll put the link in the show notes But basically they're all available to buy again including some gorgeous like a3 back patches for all you punks But like this is the last time we're going to use these designs because this is the third time we've done it now So if you want to order one Please order it this month the deadline is in 10 days, the 18th of January.

Every single product sale helps the project so much, you have no idea, like we're really fundraising month by month and it is just like revolutionary to us to get sales and to be able to keep the project going.

So yeah, please share it on your social media and stuff and yeah.

by them because they're really gorgeous.

I shared a picture on Instagram of my partner in the hoodie and it went super viral because obviously he's gorgeous, but also the hoodie is gorgeous.

It's got no borders down the sleeve and various plants on the front saying solidarity knows no borders and yeah, just, you're not going to get them anywhere else.

They're really gorgeous and you're going to regret it if you didn't get one.

So sorry for capitalist sales techniques, but yeah, they're really beautiful and they keep the clinic going, which serves thousands of refugee people living in France.

And yeah, please kind of help us make that successful.

All right, number three, the frontline herbalism podcast, which you are listening to right now.

So it's at 52 episodes, 53 with this one.

It's felt really brilliant to get into the swing of it and keep it going.

I finished a series recording like the Prisoner's Herbal Book and it was amazing to like finally start doing some interviews as this was like always my goal with a podcast.

The show has been able to amplify people and projects organizing around the world.

With series three focused on the politics of trauma.

So there's been episodes on trauma and solidarity while fighting dictatorship with friends from anarchist black cross Belarus.

I really encourage you to listen to that episode.

It's super moving.

Yeah.

Also about disability justice, chronic illness with my amazing friend, Amani, trauma in class with another amazing close friend.

Healthcare in Palestine, age trauma and youth oppression and trauma and addiction with my partner Rob, plus many more to come.

I've been emailing people this week about more interviews and I'm trying to kind of batch them up before my maternity leave.

So yeah, it's just, it just feels great to be able to, to keep it going.

So yeah, if you're interested in being interviewed, like, please let me know, like I'm really.

kind of passionate about different like grassroots herbal projects and health projects and different things.

I also published a series in collaboration with the Medical Self Defense Network, interviewing medics from around the world, hopefully you listened to some of these including a medic working in Rojava, northeast Syria, an action medic in France who responds to riots and police burglary, frontline medic work in Ukraine, a paramedic gunshot wounds, as well as all about harm reduction.

Also one about manufacturing for medical self defense with a comrade in Poland yeah, plus an interview with my bestie, Victor, from the mobile herbal clinic Calais.

And we also interviewed just someone from the medical self defense network about You know, the network and also like the principles of medical self defense.

Yeah, in terms of herbal content, like, I feel like I let the side down a bit with herbal content, but that's definitely not going to be how it is.

Like, before I go on maternity leave, I'm going to try and do a series all about like medicine making, for example.

But yeah, I did talk about like herbal support for panic attacks, different kinds of nervenes, which are herbs with an affinity for the nervous system.

You know, as well as all the prisoner's herbal stuff, right?

Including connecting with plant allies.

and herbal wound care and, you know, several other kind of announcement episodes.

Yeah, I just can't wait to get stuck in this year with a podcast.

I'm thinking about maybe recording my overcoming burnout book and having that tick over while I'm on maternity leave.

But yeah, it would be quite a lot of episodes.

And yeah, the breathlessness is quite intense.

But yeah, I'm thinking about it.

Let me know if you'd Be keen to, to hear that.

I was also really happy to be invited to speak on some other podcasts, including the Herb Rally podcast for their like herbalist hour, all about the prisoners herbal.

One called Rebel Justice podcast about kind of stuff in prison and abolition and different things and the Public Love Project podcast about kind of burnout and state violence and stuff.

So put links to those on the page as well and if you Run or host a podcast, I'd be really up for interviews, like, anything I can do to just keep, like, amplifying this stuff and getting the Prisoner's Herbals out there and things, like, I'm totally game for it.

Alright, point four is distributing the Prisoner's Herbal worldwide.

So the Prisoner's Herbal is still being distributed around the world with a continuous steady flow of requests for the book from prisoners and prisoner families.

I'm very excited that the book has been translated into Italian, see below about the tour and that the French and German versions as well.

It's still in progress, as well as a recent offering to translate it into Romanian.

And the Overcoming Burnout book is also nearly finished in kind of Spanish, translated by Comrades in Barcelona.

So that is awesome.

Can't wait to go there and like do some workshops and stuff.

Like probably, obviously I'll have to be when the baby's out.

But yeah, Barcelona is, yeah, I've been there a few times and you know, it's kind of like anarcho tourism, right, but it's, yeah, it's always been a kind of hotspot.

Yeah, I remember getting horrifically sunburned on the beach.

That's like one of my main experiences of being like a white tourist.

I know people there like hate tourists, but I'm just saying, like, that's my experiences.

Okay, so my compañera, Heather, has also done an amazing job of distributing the Spanish version of The Prisoner's herbal, La herbolaria de lxs presxs, Across Mexico.

Yeah, she's like just been on it with all the events and distribution.

I haven't been able to keep up.

I put some of the amazing flyers.

on the page because they're super gorgeous.

And I'm hoping to have like an interview with her on the podcast too.

Because yeah, things have really been getting heavy in terms of repression in Mexico and different prisoners there like Jorge and Carla and Magda who are out now but like face going back at any moment.

So yeah, we're hopefully gonna speak about that sometime soon.

And yeah, like I'm hopefully in the new year gonna try and find a different system for getting the books out because I'm not going to be able to post them out.

Like, in that maternity leave phase, and to be honest, I'm kind of fed up with it, like, I've done it for four years now of, like, spending half a day a week, like, packing and posting books, and, yeah, I just think there's probably better systems to do it, so anyway, okay.

Alright, number five was the tour in Italy, and I've got, like, a whole podcast episode where I talk about the whole tour and what went down in much more detail.

But yeah, I was so honored to be invited to Italy by comrades who translated the Prisoner's Herbal book into Italian.

It means the world to me to have their support and to connect with people who recognize that herbalism can be an act of political resistance.

My partner and I spent a week on a whirlwind tour of Italy and the hospitality was amazing.

The first stop was a Erbacce Fest, like an amazing DIY herbalism in Vado Bologna.

I hosted like a glycerite making workshop in the afternoon and then in the evening spoke about the Prisoner's Herbal.

And the many connections between anti prison struggles and the land with this Anarko Herbane Kollective who were just amazing.

Yeah.

And the surrounding area was just so stunning.

Like it was amazing to get a plant walk in too.

And yeah, it was just beautiful.

then we headed to Rome for a talk at OPSI, which is like a queer feminist and trans feminist squat in the city.

And then the next day we went to Milan to a place called Villa Occupata, which used to be Villa Vegano back in the day.

Spoke there years ago about repression and the animal liberation movement.

And then on Thursday, we headed to the beautiful Susa Valley.

That's been a hotbed of struggle against the TAV, like the high speed, high speed railway, which I mean, you know, it's also like a border hotspot with kind of active solidarity for refugees and people on the move.

Had such a lovely evening talk there in a social center.

So like an old friend from Bristol from back in the day.

And yeah, another really old friend of mine Enrico.

And that was like tons of fun.

And yeah, got hosted by just the most kindest, sweetest people.

So it was, yeah, it was like a highlight of the tour.

And the next day I kind of gave a more like informal, informal workshop about our work in Calais with folks who are kind of keen to start something similar.

And finally the last stop was Turin, with a focus on the prison's herbal and like broader anti prison struggle.

Yeah, really big event at a squat, like loads of people there, like it was, yeah.

very moving.

I just want to say I was so appreciative of everyone's time and energy, love and care who like hosted us, me and Rob, or like attended an event, like it just felt very strengthening to be somewhere with like a love of plant medicine, with like kind of preserved traditions and like an openness about herbalism, as well as, you know, like really fierce prisoner support movements is what I really respect.

So, yeah, it was, yeah, it was a great week, like, just massive, like, crazy tour for me and Rob.

Like, I think, yeah, it was just like thousands of miles on trains or like hundreds of miles.

But yeah, I definitely, yeah, I'm so glad we did it.

Because of yeah, now being pregnant and knowing that I'm going to have to kind of travel a lot less most likely.

So yeah, it just felt very special to do that.

So thank you so much again to all those comrades, you can see all the little snaps from the tour on the on the web page.

All right, number six is the practical medicine making course.

So after Italy, I taught a three day course in practical medicine making, I haven't hosted any public events in a long time due to the pandemic I used to teach masses of courses back in the day in my kind of feed Avalon days, which was like this local workers co op focused on kind of community food production.

But yeah, I really burnt out from event organizing and teaching.

So it kind of felt amazing to exercise this muscle again and host an incredible group of people for three days.

The goal of the course was to teach people how to harvest herbs and make potent medicine for themselves and their communities safely, effectively and sustainably.

So people got proper stuck in and learned how to make tinctures, glycerides, infused oils, ointments, vinegars.

cough syrup and lozenges.

So yeah, it was like, it was so much fun.

It just made me realize that like, yeah, teaching can be really fun.

Like I forget that human interaction.

I think I'm very affected from the pandemic and I don't really.

Go to like big events and stuff because yeah, the last time I had COVID, my heart rate was 150 beats per minute and I was sick for like two, three months.

And I just, yeah, it's just made me really scared and I just don't trust that people take precautions like they don't test, they don't mask up.

I'm often like the only person wearing a mask.

So I just kind of, yeah, like.

Yeah, I mean, I know I did that tour in Italy and stuff which was high risk for me, but I kind of, I do put myself in high risk situations like for prisoners or for example in Calais it's like extremely high risk, but we have a lot of like infection control protocols and things.

But yeah, it just, I just forgot how great it is to have people come together and also like, charged a bit more than I was comfortable with because I'd calculated all the costs of all the ingredients and stuff and I wanted to make a surplus that could be used for medicine making, for people experiencing state violence and stuff, so it just felt nice to be like, cool, I can get paid.

Like, I can cover all the costs, like, not in a self sacrificing way, and, like, shit loads of people can learn.

And people really loved it, like, it was such an amazing group, like, everyone was so kind and on it and funny, and Yeah, it just was, like, the dream course.

So, I'm hopefully gonna be teaching it again in September, this year, as a kind of teetering back from maternity leave, so you'll probably meet my partner and my doggie and my baby.

I'll probably be like breastfeeding in between teaching and stuff and I'll definitely have to have like more help with the course.

But yeah, I'm really excited about it.

There's going to be 12 like paying places and four like non paying kind of donation based places.

Yeah, and I haven't put the infrastructure up yet for booking, but I will put it on my newsletter when I do, so make sure to sign up to that.

And yeah, you can see some gorgeous snaps of all the lovely people who came on the website as well.

All

right, number seven is the Solidarity Apothecary Clinic and one to one herbal support.

So yeah, after six months of kind of bouncing back and forth to Poland last year with Ukraine Herbal Solidarity and then losing my best friend Taylor in prison last July, like I kind of finally like reopened my like one to one clinic and I launched a dedicated website for it that explains like how the support works and like the different kind of sliding scale packages.

Like I offer three month packages because I think otherwise there's this tendency for people to think that one mix is going to like do them justice, if that makes sense.

And I think having that container is much more effective at like really achieving your kind of health goals and, you know, shifting kind of patterns of distress in the body, for example.

And it also obviously creates a bit more economic stability for me.

And I just find it means that people will, like, continuously access support rather than they've just had, like, one session and then you don't see them again for six months, if that makes sense.

Like, it's a bit more continuous.

Yeah, and I've also got, kind of, herbs out to different people, like, different requests and things.

I'm very bad at tracking what I send out to different people, like, friends and family and comrades.

And, you know, people text me left, right and center for stuff.

So I need to get a bit more systematic.

And that's one of my goals for this year.

But yeah, just like, unfortunately I had to just stop it all again because of my pregnancy because of the nausea and the vomiting being so horrific.

So yeah, I just kind of had, you know, Several amazing clients and then a couple sign up recently just before I got pregnant and then I had to just be like, I can't do this and give them refunds or refer them to people.

And it just, yeah, it was kind of heartbreaking.

And now, like, I'm obviously six months pregnant now, so there's not really.

It's not really worth me restarting it now I feel a bit better because I'm not going to be able to be like consistent through maternity leave.

So anyway, I will start seeing people again next autumn.

When I kind of start this process of coming back to work.

I think I'm just going to be kind to myself and just see like one person a week because yeah, I think Every herbalist is very different in terms of how they do consultations, like, I don't actually understand how people do 20 a week or something because, like, for me, I'll see someone and then I'll spend, like, literally a day on writing up their herbal recommendations, like, writing everything up in detail, like, where to get supplements, nutritional recommendations, things like that.

And like for me, having been really sick and needed support, like I think, yeah, I've tried to design packages with like the person in mind and their needs.

And that's not like the most economically effective for me, like it would be much more effective for me to see someone bash out a prescription at the end, give it to them at the end not think about it again, but I really love explaining to people why I've chosen certain herbs.

I like explaining what I think is potentially going on for them, like what other tests they might need.

I love explaining you know, the supplements they need and actually putting links in because if I tell someone oh hey take b12 they're just going to take like the cheapest shittest supplement they can find and not a high quality one so like for me I would rather work with like much less people but have like much higher quality of support for them.

So yeah, so anyway I'm gonna try next autumn again, join the newsletter for when when like those kind of offerings are available again.

And I just want to say to everyone I've worked with over the last year, like it's just been great, like learning about you and having you trust me as a practitioner.

And yeah, like I love it's just, yeah, like, you know, it's obviously kind of anonymous and personal and intimate.

So it's not something like I post on Instagram about of like, Oh, I just saw this person and But like, yeah, it's very, I guess it's like why I trained right to do this work like and a lot of my work is like organizing and traveling and like clinics and stuff like this.

But like this one to one work, there's something very sacred about it.

So yeah, I really missed it with the pregnancy.

And yeah, but we'll get back to it soon.

I'm sure All

right, number eight is Connecting Herbalism, State Repression, Incarceration and Abolition.

So in May, I was honoured to be invited by anarchist author and organiser Cindy Milstein to give a talk about state repression, trauma and the body and of course herbalism.

This was organised for people experiencing state repression as part of the struggle against cop city in Atlanta in the so called US.

So the webinar introduced the traumatic dynamics of state repression and the important role of

So yeah, I've put a link into the replay.

It's online on my website.

You just sign up and then you get like for free and then you get to watch it.

And you're able to download the slides and stuff.

Like, I personally like, love slides.

Like I'm a super visual person, like if someone is just, if I'm just looking at her face for an hour, it's not going in, so I try and do everything with kind of graphics and bullet points and stuff, so yeah, if you kind of want those resources, then check that out.

I've got like such an organizer crush on Cindy and all their work in the world.

And yeah, I'll make an announcement soon about a new book that they are publishing.

That's got a little chapter about the Solidarity Apothecary.

So, oh yeah, I'll talk about that in the near future.

But yeah, this November I also facilitated a workshop on herbalism, incarceration and abolition after an invitation from the Railyard Apothecary, also in the so called U.

S.

And the event raised over like 500 squid for the Prisoner's Herbal Books, which was super appreciated, as I still owe Active Distribution loads of money for printing the books, and I can just never sell enough books to cover the debt and the costs of posting them to prisoners, so might need to sell some hoodies or something instead.

But yeah, the workshop explored the role of herbalism in supporting prisoners, families and communities affected by incarceration and herbalist roles in the abolition of these systems of oppression.

So we explored the health impacts of incarceration and looked at herbal strategies to support PTSD.

I introduced some practical uses of plants commonly found in prison yards and what practicing herbalism in prison can look like.

It then went to explore abolition as a framework and the role of herbalists within these movements.

So I'm gonna be, I'm not able to share like the original workshop because of like the live participation and we didn't get consent from participants, but because of my hyperemesis like I actually pre recorded the workshop, which was a lot of work, but I just had to do it in case I was gonna barf on the call.

So I just, yeah, so I'm sharing that version, like the Railyard Apothecary totally cool with that.

So yeah, it's going to be available and I'm going to put the audio on the podcast and introduce that in the next episode.

Yeah, I think it was, yeah, a good workshop, like, in the sense of connecting all these different dots.

I think people can be very shocked by the reality of incarceration, if that makes sense, even if it's kind of in their world.

But yeah, I'm glad that I did it and put together that resource and hopefully it can keep supporting people on my website in terms of other work in these movements.

My beloved comrade Heather translated an article I wrote on trauma, recovery and abolition, state violence, PTSD and healing justice in Spanish that you can read.

There's a link on the page to the Spanish version.

Yeah, and just like prisoner support work continued through 2024 continue to be intense.

We had many action alerts for different prisoners.

Celebrated the week of solidarity with anarchist prisoners, like continued this fundraiser for the Kill the Bill prisoners sent down after the kind of demonstration and riot in Bristol in March 2021.

And yeah, I'm selling these like Queers Hate Prisons t shirts that are really gorgeous.

They're like gold on black.

And all the funds go to Bristol Anarchist Black Cross.

So please check out the link for them.

They are so pretty.

And all the money goes to prisoner support.

Okay, and yeah, up until being bed bound with vomiting, I was still visiting loved ones inside super regularly.

It's been really tough not being able to go like I have done for years.

And you know, everyone's been amazingly understanding but yeah, I hope to keep up connecting the links between herbalism, incarceration, and abolition, ongoingly as a heartbeat of the Solidarity Apo

Okay, so point number nine is Palestine solidarity.

So in my 2022 review, I shared about my visit in December 2022 about, yeah, my visit to Palestine with the International Solidarity Movement.

Since the trip comrades and I have been publishing episodes for the International Solidarity Movement podcast.

You can find it on all major podcast players as well as at the link that I've put on the page.

So there are 14 episodes focusing on the Palestinian struggle for freedom, including interviews with people from the General Union of Palestinian Women, Dheisheh Refugee Camp, the Palestinian Medical Relief Society, Mothers Organizing for Justice in Sheikh Jarrah, and Adamir, who organized Prisoner Solidarity.

A number of episodes focus on struggles to save Masafa Yatta and the South Hebron Hills, including interviews with a youth group and organizers living in villages in Mufagara and At-Twani.

There's also great interviews with people from ISM including an introduction to the movement as well as two internationalist volunteers.

Yeah, and as the whole world will know, all eyes have been on Palestine following the most recent iteration of genocide in Gaza and the unrelenting repression in the West Bank.

I've been doing my best to organize for my sickbed including creating this post on solidarity with Palestine what you can do which I'll put in the show notes.

I managed to get some lavender oil made with olive oil from the West Bank out to a Palestinian friend who distributed it amongst her friends.

This was like a super small scale attempt at herbal solidarity but I hope to keep organizing more.

Rob has helped me make like 20 odd liters of lavender oil, which we still need to kind of decant, but yeah, I'm just kind of, yeah, sorting my life out basically to get something online where people can request, like people in the Palestinian diaspora can request kind of herbal support.

So yeah, keep your.

Eyes peeled for that.

And yeah, and other amazing herbalists have been advocating for boycotts of herbal companies sourcing herbs from Israel.

You can see some of their amazing work, a link on the page.

Also on my Instagram, I share some posts about that.

And I just wondered if anyone had the interest or capacity to help research herbal companies in the UK, please let me know.

I'd be keen to kind of do that work.

And yeah, just huge respect for everyone organizing and resisting and people that are kind of able bodied enough to be on the streets.

Like, I'm just grateful for all your actions and all the attention, like, the genocide is getting.

Yeah, it's just It's just fucking harrowing, isn't it?

Just seeing it online and feeling quite powerless.

And yeah, like, I think the other thing I wanted to share was a fundraiser from the International Solidarity Movement to support their work in Palestine.

So yeah, I'll just read a bit of blurb.

The ISM is a Palestinian led movement committed to resisting the long entrenched and systemic oppression and dispossession of the Palestinian population using non violent, direct action methods and principles.

Founded in August 2001, ISM aims to support and strengthen the Palestinian popular resistance by working immediately on alongside Palestinians in olive groves on school runs at demonstrations within villages being attacked by houses being demolished or where Palestinians are subject to consistent harassment or attacks from soldiers and settlers as well as numerous other situations.

So yeah, I'll put the link in the crowd funder basically.

It's going to be supporting ISM in Palestine and just kind of infrastructure stuff like renting an apartment that can host volunteers helping with travel expenses, things like that.

Yeah, like, listen back to the podcast episode about my trip to Palestine, but I think one of the things that struck me was just like this really important role for international solidarity, which I think I'd maybe been a little bit not skeptical of, but like, it felt very like trauma tourism.

Style for people to go to Palestine, but actually it's really clear that people value, like international volunteers like so much.

And you know, it can be the difference between someone doing a life sentence in prison or someone not because a volunteers filmed what's happening, for example.

So yeah, I think it's really important work.

So please donate what you can.

Okay, point 10 is surviving hyperemesis.

So, I found out I was pregnant in August and it wasn't long till I was vomiting at all hours of the day and night.

Doctors passed it off as normal, kind of quote unquote, morning sickness, but my whole life became debilitated with the worst nausea of my life.

It wasn't after a trip to hospital with pains from severe dehydration that I was diagnosed with hyperemesis gravidarum HG, which is like the severe form of vomiting and nausea in pregnancy.

I hadn't even heard of it.

And it was just like a minefield, experimenting with medication, trying absolutely anything to consume food at all, like without throwing it back up.

I literally sucked ice cubes for like five months because any sip of water just triggered me to vomit.

Sorry.

Yeah, I had to basically just like lie in a dark bedroom or lounge and walking like 10 meters into the garden would have me like throwing up in the hedgerows.

And yeah, honestly, like, I can't do it justice, like how difficult it was for how many months on end.

Yeah, like, without the support of my partner and my mum, like, I swear, like, ending the pregnancy, like, I literally contacted BPAS, like, about an abortion because I just couldn't hack it anymore.

You know, I felt suicidal, like, Anything was considered of like how the hell to stop this and yeah, I'm just so grateful that it's over and anyone experiencing it like you have my heartfelt solidarity because it was just horrific.

But yeah, interesting timing like recent research has just confirmed that it is a genetic condition which makes sense like because of my partner's side of the family has a lot of nausea and vomiting in their pregnancies.

But yeah, it's still like incredibly underfunded and under researched and of course the medical industrial complex deprioritizes it because of its gendered nature.

So yeah, from August until mid December I suddenly could barely work.

I had to cut down all my major commitments, which was like really hard for a workaholic.

I lost the majority of my livelihood by cancelling my clients.

It is a miracle I managed to launch the PTSD course.

Like, that was like, Hellish, like, just trying to spend, like, an hour a day on that, like, was so tough.

Yeah, and it just felt like a lot of grief, coupled with, like, a lot of PTSD, and fears of being a parent, and all this, like, childhood stuff came up, and it just, yeah, it was really hard.

But I'm so grateful those days are behind me.

Yeah, and I just, serious love and solidarity to anyone experiencing it, and just Endless love and appreciation for my partner and my mum for just being amazing at, you know, making me chips or getting me crisps or Getting me ice cubes or like yeah driving me to hospital and driving me to get IVs and like Yeah, like I wouldn't have got through it without them Okay All

right The next little section is kind of about goals.

So I'm gonna record a bit about the goals that I put on my 2022 review post, which were for 2023.

And yeah, I've read tons of research about how sharing goals publicly like increases the chances that they'll be achieved, and creates a sense of like accountability.

So yeah, in terms of what was achieved, some of my goals were to treat the solidarity apothecary more like a livelihood, get my finances in order and earn enough to pay myself properly.

Which came from doing the PTSD course and yeah, seeing kind of more clients in clinic to build the number of monthly supporters.

So I have this kind of scheme where people can donate each month and that really takes like the edge off the financial pressure of posting the books to prisoners or getting medicines out to people, things like that.

To offer one to one support again via my online clinic to fundraise successfully for Ukraine Herbal Solidarity, the Mobile Herbal Clinic and the Prisoner Herbalism Collective and to support the collectives to get stronger and more resilient and less dependent on me.

So, yeah, partly achieved for some of the projects, not for Ukraine Herbal Solidarity, which isn't operating in the same way and the Prisoners Herbalism Collective unfortunately is still Fairly dormant but lots of people are still doing stuff like translating.

But the clinic in Calais is definitely way more resilient because of my nausea and less dependent on me but funding is still a constant struggle.

To continue with the Frontline Herbalism podcast to do some tours.

So I just managed the one in Italy to get more active with the medical self defense network, which I did with this kind of podcast project to continue invest in my clinical education and learning and to continue self education about different areas of struggle, which is always happening because I'm always reading and listening to podcasts and watching things online.

Like that was the only good thing about the high premises was like, you could kind of.

Binge things if that makes sense passively.

You know, I've got a Gemini ascendant, like I love studying.

Okay, so not achieved to improve the systems for accessing herbal support.

That was largely because of the nausea and vomiting and like financial stuff at the beginning of the year.

but yeah, it's something.

I want to prioritise this coming year to finally finish and publish the Herbalism and State Violence book, which I'm going to talk about soon, to visit Mexico, that wasn't achieved, thwarted by pregnancy, and to organise more face to face medicine making sessions and receive help more.

And again, I Just through the winter, couldn't do it with Calais like the logistics of making this clinic happen for 600 odd people in France and yeah, and then, yeah, and then having like half the year gone from chronic illness, it just, yeah, it just wasn't doable.

Things I decided to kind of renegotiate or not pursue was the Herbalism for Organisers course, simply because I think the Herbalism Achieves the aims that I wanted for the other course.

So I kind of think it's unnecessary I had this vision of developing like a herbal project for ex prisoners trying to get some proper funding doing something in Bristol But yeah that stopped also with the pregnancy I'd kind of timetabled it for the autumn winter and to fundraise to develop a distance learning course in herbalism specifically for prisoners This is something I would still really love to do but there just isn't the infrastructure to make it happen.

And I think My nervous system just can't take any more prison related work.

Like, I think, yeah, I focus on ABC stuff and supporting my friends to stay alive, that I've just decided, like, I have to think strategically about the spoons I've got.

So, some of the personal goals I had were having more rest, which I think I did achieve because of the pregnancy.

Connecting with elements more, learning to stand on paddleboards, surf, kayak.

Only did, like, one surf session at the beginning of the year with my best mate.

I'm so bad at prioritizing myself and my body and fun shit.

I mean, I love the apothecary.

It's all fun to me, but yeah, it is something I really want to improve on.

Hanging out with friends more, again, just completely knocked sideways by the vomiting.

Like even just like seeing my partner walk around the room would make me sick.

Like I could not socialize.

Reconnecting with the hardcore punk scene.

I managed like one hardcore festival and that was it, where I was doing a store.

And like, again, I just felt.

Too afraid of being in a room with loads of sweaty people who might have COVID.

So I'm just at peace with that decision now.

More consistent spiritual practice, kind of achieved ish.

Learning Arabic failed at that.

Saving up for some kind of static caravan or mobile home.

So this is achieved.

Me and my partner have found our dream mobile home.

We just got planning permission for it literally a few days ago.

So we're going to be moving it on site early February to the small holding that my stepdad owns.

here where I live.

And yeah, my partner like did painter decorating work for years.

So he's going to help do it up.

I'm just so excited about creating this like rockabilly love nest, like in our style and putting our kind of, yeah, loving it.

And yeah, just having a little home for our babies.

So, you know, I might be 35, nearly 36, you know, I'm definitely nowhere near like Having a fucking mortgage or anything like that, but it's not what either of us wants like we both want as much Financial freedom as possible so that we can do like unpaid organizing stuff and you know like it's not our lifestyle to work full time nine to five like and Just, yeah, be wage slaves.

So, yeah, it's kind of like the perfect solution.

I know we've got a lot of privilege having access to land to do that, but yeah, I'm gonna, I'm really excited about it.

We're gonna clad it and have some solar panels on it and just, yeah, have, have a little love nest.

All right, so what are some of the plans for 2024?

So, I know that impending bubba is gonna shape most of the year or, you know, most of my, the rest of my life.

Yay!

But I am prepared to have my life turned upside down.

I'm hoping to take at least six months of like proper maternity leave where I'm not even looking at my phone or emails and I'm just nourishing the bubba and recovering from the pregnancy and being with Rob and yeah, just in that chaos land of newborn life.

And then I'll kind of start.

Like, September onwards, just coming back for little bits of work, and thankfully Rob will be able to do the childcare when I'm working, which is amazing, because I know it's important for little ones to be with caregivers and stuff as much as possible.

So, it's a bit scary, like, all this self employment, maternity leave, like, stuff, but, yeah, one of the kind of main values of the Solidarity Apothecary is care, so, yeah.

That also means for me too, right?

That means, like, what kind of feminist would I be if I didn't allow myself, like, a quality maternity leave and, you know, to pay myself while I'm away and stuff like that.

So yeah, it feels really special to implement my kind of politics, if that makes sense.

Okay, so pre maternity leave I'm My goals are to finalize my herbal solidarity care packages, set them up on my website for easier access so that people can order things while I'm away and other people can send them out.

I'm going to be sending out like a survey all about kind of herbal care packages so look out for that.

I'm just trying to gauge.

what would make the system easier for people because I know like frontline organizer types are absolutely terrible at asking for what they need.

So I just want to make that a little bit easier.

To continue with the podcast, to finally finish and publish the Herbalism and State Violence book.

So I have been supported by my friend Kes Otter Lieffe, who I think people will know, like she's made the like queer animals and queer plant scenes and written like Loads of amazing, like, novels.

And yeah, she's been supporting me as a kind of, we call it a book dom, like a kind of editing support, project management support, call support.

Like I've been paying her time to help me really finish this book because it's been unfinished for two years and it just has needed wrapping up.

So since the nausea has got better, I've been like working on that, like a little squirrel and yeah, it's nearly done.

Like I'm going to be getting it to her next week to do like a final sweep.

But if anyone has any things they want to contribute.

There is still time to get in there, like there was a wave of contributions in 2020, but if you are doing some sort of herbal project supporting people experiencing state violence, you know, maybe that's like care packages for people on trial, or like arrestee support staff, or things with prisons, or things with like refugees and people on the move, people who are criminalized, like, Yeah, like, let me know because I would love to create space for you in the book, if that makes sense.

Okay, to support folks to wrap up as many translated versions of my books as possible, I'm trying to just say to people, listen, I'm going to be out of the game most of next year, like, let's get this done.

To redecorate my herb shed and organize my storage, because I'm going to be making it into an office as well as like a medicine making mini factory in there.

I want to support the Mobile Herbal Clinic to develop, like, a membership donation program for greater financial resilience so we can have like a bunch of standing orders to sustain us.

I really want to organize some kind of prisoner solidarity training online and yeah, I want to get some kind of fulfillment center arranged so that people can, I can pay people to post my books out and just the whole thing doesn't need me to do it anymore because I'm sick of it and it could hopefully generate a bit of passive income.

I'll probably have to unfortunately put the prices of my books up but you know, they're currently five pounds each which is Basically nothing these days.

So I kind of feel okay about it because you know, as people know, selling those books means we get them to prisoners.

So I think it's, yeah, it's worthwhile.

Okay.

And then some goals like post maternity leave.

So yeah, to relaunch the PTSD course in the autumn, please sign up for the waiting list.

To finish creating and launching the Do No Harm course so this is also something I've been squirreling away on since the PTSD course launched.

It is like a very comprehensive training all about clinical safety for grassroots herbalists.

I will talk about it more on another show, but it's going to be absolutely awesome.

It's basically the course that I wish I had.

I think herbalists everywhere.

fear harming people, fear missing clinical red flags, especially grassroots herbalists that haven't done some big like formal training program like a degree in England or something, but like I want people to be doing like amazing herbal work in the world and for that I think people need to feel like they're practicing safely.

I also know from my experiences in Calais how critical clinical safety is and how arrogant some herbalists are.

And yeah, I just, I think it would be a fantastic course for like grounding people in their knowledge, in their scope of practice, understanding red flags, understanding the kind of ecology of healthcare that they're in.

And yeah, and not harming people, but also not harming people by not doing stuff, right?

Like, I want people to be doing stuff around the world and feeling more empowered and confident to use herbal medicine because it is absolutely amazing and we need more of it.

So yeah, look out for that this autumn.

Yeah, I know with the bubba that I'll need more help.

So I'm going to try and organize more face to face medicine making sessions.

I signed up for this endobiogenic medicine diploma, which.

A doctor who I work with in France studied and it's just like incredible like systems biology approach to medicine and they integrate herbalism and aromatherapy and stuff.

And yeah, I just haven't been able to do it with my vomiting and stuff, but I really want to finish that.

I want to enroll in some functional medicine training and do some like proper specialist foot care training because it's a large part of the work in Calais and I want to get better at it.

Yeah, and I'm really keen to explore the possibilities of doing some kind of local herbal project, like with houseless communities or former prisoners, like until I'm ready to return to Calais.

I know it's something Rob would love to do.

So like, if you're in Somerset, like in the UK, and If you have any thoughts on that or you'd like to collaborate or you're already involved in some kind of project that would benefit from like herbal care packages or like a herbalist involvement like please let me know because like I think I love that like frontline herbalism work like I love the work in Calais like I hate the fucking conditions in Calais but I mean like clinically and practically like it just suits like all of my skill sets and yeah there's no reason why I couldn't do that in the UK if that makes sense.

And yeah, any people who've had kids are probably just like, yeah, Nicole, you're not going to be able to do all this.

Like, you don't, my friend Heledd is like, oh, you don't have time to wipe your ass.

But I'm hoping with support from my mum and my partner, who is absolutely amazing, who's like going to completely co parent, like together, like it will be possible to do these things.

And if not, then that's just how it is.

Like, but yeah, I'm going to do my best.

And then some ongoing goals are to continue to invest in my clinical education and learning.

to continue self education about different areas of struggle and yeah, to continue to organize prison solidarity and stay involved in my various kind of crews throughout the pregnancy and the maternity leave, just the best I can.

Like, we're, you know, negotiating all that stuff of, you know, I'm not gonna buddy any new people in prison, for example, but I can keep doing, like, accounts and graphics and stuff like that.

Okay, personal goals.

So yeah, it's got here once planning permission is confirmed, but it's confirmed.

So yeah, creating the love nest, giving birth to a healthy, beautiful, amazing human, to have a healthy rest of my pregnancy and empowering birth and a calm and enjoyable postpartum period, to continue to build spiritual skills, to save up for a trip to Australia and New Zealand.

to introduce our baby to our family living there increase understanding of settler colonialism and connect with comrades in these regions.

So if you are listening from there and you'd like to host us or organize like a prisoner's herbal event or something in the future, let us know everyone said that the best time to travel with a baby is before they can crawl around.

And my step mom and brother lived there.

And yeah, I would just love to introduce them to our baby.

Oh, and my uncle lives there as well.

And you know, a bunch of close friends.

So yeah.

Yeah, to get surf practice when ready postpartum, I've actually bought a surf board, put it off for years, but I found one in a sale and it's gorgeous.

And yeah, I'm really grateful to my best mate Amani who's just been like giving me all these tips on stuff to buy.

And I've also just got a secondhand stand up paddleboard from another close friend.

And I hope to connect with rivers and waterways locally.

And yeah, just to like hang out with friends more and make more local friends with babies.

That's the plan.

Okay, so this is much longer than expected, reading all of this stuff, but that is the review of last year, some goals for next year.

Let me know what you're thinking of doing, if any of this has planted a seed, and you're like, yeah, shit, I'd love to organise with Nicole on that, like, please reach out to me.

And yeah, like, if you can afford to support the project, that's amazing, like, sponsor a box of prisoner herbals or, you know, donate to the work we're doing in Calais, like all of that is fantastic.

And yeah, I'll put the link to this page in the show notes, which has the links to all the other things.

And yeah, I just want to say, like, I'm thinking of everyone at the moment.

And yeah, here's to a kind of yeah, another, another year in late stage capitalism and genocide and all the horrors, but also all the beauties of, yeah, babies and love and rescue dogs and all the things.

So yeah.

Okay.

Take care.

Bye.

Thanks so much for listening to the Frontline Herbalism podcast.

You can find the transcript, the links, all the resources from the show at solidarityapothecary.org/podcast.