The primary focus of this podcast episode centers on the transformative power of storytelling and its profound impact on personal growth and confidence-building. We engage in a compelling conversation with Simone Canego, who shares her diverse journey from a background in accounting to her current passion for storytelling and podcasting. Through her experiences, she emphasizes that one’s career path need not be linear, and encourages listeners to embrace their unique stories as vital components of their identity. Furthermore, we explore the significance of vulnerability in sharing personal narratives, particularly in the context of mental health and self-acceptance. This episode serves as an enlightening reminder that our individual stories can resonate deeply with others, fostering connection and understanding in an increasingly disconnected world.

Takeaways:

1. The journey of personal growth often encompasses unexpected twists, as evidenced by my transition from a career in accounting to pursuing storytelling, which I am genuinely passionate about.
2. Engaging in open discussions about our life experiences can profoundly impact others, as sharing our stories fosters connection and understanding among individuals facing similar challenges.
3. Podcasting serves not only as a platform for sharing narratives but also as a therapeutic outlet, allowing us to explore our emotions and experiences in a supportive environment.
4. The importance of confidence cannot be overstated; it is a skill that can be cultivated through practice and experience, as highlighted in our discussions about the growth of my daughter during our podcasting journey.
5. Each episode we produce serves as an opportunity for growth, both for our guests and ourselves, as we navigate the complexities of storytelling and the authentic sharing of experiences.
6. The realization that our struggles resonate beyond our immediate circles is crucial; many listeners relate to the narratives shared, prompting reflection and connection in their own lives.

Links referenced in this episode:

1. simonecanego.com
2. realconfidencebook.com
3. ordinary.simonecanego.com

Companies mentioned in this episode:

1. ABC

Mentioned in this episode:

Listen on Apple

Hey, how's it going, Simone, welcome to the show.

Thanks for having me here.

It's going great.

Hey, so why don't we start out, tell a little bit about your back history, where'd you grow up, and what has kind of led to what you're doing now.

Yeah, I actually grew up in Buffalo, New York.

I live in Florida now, so completely different.

But the work I do now has nothing to do with how I started.

You know, I think we're told at a young age, like, whatever we do at 18, like, we got to do for the rest of our lives.

I don't believe that at all.

So I started.

I started off in accounting.

I have a bachelor's and master's in accounting.

And actually, I. I was going to go to medical school until I.

Well, that was my plan.

I was premed, and I failed organic chemistry.

And then I got a D in it the second time, and I thought, okay, well, that's the end of that.

And did accounting.

And then I did many things over my life, like I worked in medical sales.

I went back to school to be a teacher.

I flipped houses.

And I finally realized what I was really passionate about was storytelling.

And I love sharing stories.

I have six children, so there's always a story.

I mean, every single day, it creates a new story.

But understanding that when you tell stories, how much it can impact other people and really help them.

And so I took this really weird route to get where I am, but I'm so happy where I am now.

Yeah, I think, you know, what you just said is spot on.

Similar to me, I did the military thing for 20 years, and then afterwards, I didn't know what I was going to do.

And at no time did I grow up playing soldier and thinking I was going to be in the military.

And life put me there.

And I always wanted to be an entrepreneur.

And so after the military, I started a business, but, man, I just wasn't happy.

I mean, that was my dream.

I owned.

Owned trucking company.

I. I was making good money, but I was not happy.

And now I'm podcasting and retired and helping veterans, and I'm happier than I've ever been.

And I think it's because I was finally on the path that I was meant to be.

Just like you said, you know, once.

Once you find that path that.

That you were meant to be on this earth, and you start learning your lessons that you were.

You learned, and then you can start understanding the whys behind them as you.

As you're going down that path.

And I think what you're doing is.

Is amazing.

Storytelling is a huge part of my life.

And I agree with you.

We can learn a lot from each other, and people can kind of resonate a lot of times with our stories in their own way, and that's what built this show.

So I know you've got a podcast as well, so let's.

Let's dive into that, because I was going through your website, and your daughter that's on that podcast with you, 100% yours.

You guys are like.

Yeah, she's definitely a mini me.

Yeah.

So we started the podcast about two and a half years ago and kind of started just from the conversations we were having.

So she was diagnosed with Crohn's when she was 16 years old.

And, you know, in that moment, it was kind of like, you know what?

How do I move forward?

And so we had the discussion about, like, you got to feel all the feelings.

Like, you got to be angry, you got to be sad, you got to cry it out, whatever you need.

But then you got to pick a day, and you got to move forward, because otherwise you're going to get stuck in that why me?

For the rest of your life.

And so we used to have.

Really.

We still do, but that's what started the podcast, is having conversations like that that we thought might be able to help someone else as well.

And so we started doing Instagram lives, and then we said, let's make it official.

Let's let go all in and create a podcast.

So it's called Her Unshakable Confidence.

We drop an episode every Tuesday.

And the goal of the podcast is.

Exactly the title is to help her build Unshakable Confidence and for her to get there quicker than I did.

I mean, I was in my 40s before I really felt good about myself, and she's doing it in her 20s.

And I see that with my other kids as well, that, like, it's a different world, and we have to work on it.

Like, confidence is a skill that you build.

Right.

You work on it.

It's from the inside out.

It's not being the loudest person in the room.

Right.

It's like any other skill that we have.

And so that's what we.

What.

That's what we talk about on the podcast.

Now, obviously, with guests, we have kind of whatever their expertise is, but we always bring it back to.

Especially how we can help women move forward.

Yeah.

You know, for.

For me, it's.

It's kind of funny because podcasting is not only the Future for media.

I'm completely convinced in that you can just look at the industry as a growth wise and, and see a lot of people are tuning into podcasts for whatever reason to get their, their news, to hear their stories, their entertainment, whatever.

But for me, you know, this started out as therapy.

I, me and my old first aren't.

We didn't know what similar like what you did.

We didn't know what a podcast was.

So we were doing a Facebook live once a week and bringing our old soldiers on.

We had a few that had committed suicide and so we wanted to kind of bring just the people we knew into our fold and, and it grew from there and so we turned it into an actual podcast.

And man, I, I discovered that I was, my health was improving just from it, from talking about my stories and getting things out with other veterans that I, I didn't share even with my own family.

And you know, I credit that podcast to where I'm at today.

I mean it was under a different name but as once he dropped off, I changed the name to Spirits and Stories and now I do the same thing.

I bring guests on and let them tell their story, you know, because that's.

This platform helped me and I'm convinced that, you know, you tell your story enough times and you can finally get through it without feeling all the pain and agony and having a bad day afterwards.

You know, not that it doesn't hurt anymore, but, but you can get through it and that, and that shows possession, progression as far as moving forward.

So I agree with you 100%.

When you started podcasting, what was the first thing that you noticed?

You know, I'm going to go back to what you said about really being able to work through things that maybe you hadn't said out loud before or things that you were struggling with.

It's a very interesting thing to put yourself out there in front of who knows how many people might be watching it or listening to it and you are able to tell kind of your darkest secrets, like things that you haven't told other people before.

I mean, and that was true of me too, that one of the things that I found that was really kind of so helpful for me was being able to talk about things that happened when I was younger.

So when I was in high school, I had an abusive boyfriend and I squashed it down for years.

I didn't talk about it.

I mean, my husband knew about it, my kids knew about it, but I didn't openly talk about it.

Right.

And the more I talked about it on pod.

And then I, you know, I had this moment where I realized, like, okay, this is why I'm struggling so much, because I am not talking about it.

And that's not true for everybody.

I know a lot of people still won't be willing to talk about things, but.

But for me, it was sharing what I went through and finding the connection with other people that had gone through something similar.

So if my story can help someone else be able to share their story or feel like they're not alone, then it's absolutely worth it.

And so I've really noticed that for me, now, I have no problem sharing because I have really been able to work through it by talking about it so much.

Yeah, I think, you know, especially in the.

In the veteran world, you know, we just don't openly talk about a lot of things.

And that was one of the things that I noticed and.

And that had learned.

I mean, I worked through so many problems.

Just the little stuff that I didn't even know was problems from podcasting.

You know, how naive I really was.

I thought PTSD was a American veteran problem.

That.

That's all that had ptsd.

American veterans, Right.

And then I had a guest on my show who was from Britain, and he was in the military over there.

And the show was supposed to be about us talking about the differences between combat between.

In Afghanistan, between the British and America, how we did things differently.

And at the end, he said, well, I got a podcast, too, but it's a mental health podcast.

And I said, oh, really?

He said, yeah.

He said, we just got too many soldiers killing ourselves.

And it just hit me like a brick.

I said, man, this ain't an American problem.

And then I went down this rabbit hole.

You know, what about the people that we were fighting against, what we called enemies, you know, are they suffering from this?

And it just really opened my eyes to how one person's trauma may not just be one person's trauma, it really can be relatable to other people in other ways.

And that was.

That's what led to my book.

I wrote a book.

I know you did, too, and we're going to get into it, but I wrote a book just to tell my family about what had happened, because I never shared it with them.

And then when I was suffering through ptsd, I was mad at them and pushed them away because they didn't understand what I was going through, but I never told them.

And so the power of storytelling and conversations through podcasting, you know, I think can help so many people Yeah, I agree.

And, and you know, interestingly enough, the confidence piece is a big part of it as well.

So for my daughter, she's a second year law student and she said that when she was in class recently, they were doing, you know, she gets called on all the time.

Like that's part of the class.

They call on you.

You have to answer, like, you have to stand up and you're presenting.

And one of the kids said to her, I mean, they're not kids, they're in their 20s.

But one of the kids said to her, wow, like you always, you're always so confident when they call on you.

Why is that?

And she said, oh, I have a podcast with my mom.

I, you know, I'm able to think on my feet all the time because that's how it works on a podcast.

You don't know what's going to come next.

And I thought that was such a cool thing because, you know, I hadn't, I mean, yes, I thought about it, but not directly in that light, that how much it's not only like the mental health piece that has really been helpful, but really building confidence.

Because you're talking to all kinds of different people, you're hearing different stories, different opinions, different thoughts.

And I was like, what a great side effect.

Yeah.

And I think that's one of the things that our younger generation right now really struggles with is they have so little interaction outside their bubbles and they lose that ability to network.

And, and with podcasting, you have no choice.

You're going to network.

I mean, you're going to run into other podcasters, the guests, you know, I refer people to other guests that I've had all the time about, you know, hey, I know this nonprofit that came on, they did this.

Let me connect you here and there and, and maybe they can help you with this particular problem that you're talking about.

And, and that all comes from podcasting.

These are people I would have never met outside my bubble, you know, and so my hat's off to you because I think, I think what you did as a parent is, is amazing.

And I think a lot of other people could learn from you as far as when there's problems and help take your youngins out of their comfort zone and man, tell their story, because everybody has one.

Yeah.

And it's fun.

It's, it's.

Well, it's fun too.

I mean, and then listening to her, like, I wish all of my kids would do the podcast with us, but, you know, we had our, my oldest daughter on there.

And one time, and she said, oh, my gosh, that was horrible.

She's like, it is so stressful.

You have to think way too fast.

I don't want to do that again.

So it's not.

It's not for everybody, but really for Olivia, like, watching her think about things differently.

Right.

When you hear guests tell their stories and you have it in your head, because we live in this, you know, environment where we cannot agree to disagree.

Right.

If you disagree, you are no longer my friend.

Okay, well, that doesn't work in podcasting.

Right.

Like, you're there to learn from each other.

And so that's what's been such a, you know, really powerful experience to hear different perspectives and things that I would never thought about or she's never thought about, and she's like, I would have never seen it that way before I talked to this person.

So it's so.

It's so cool to be able to have these experiences.

Yeah.

You know, I.

When I started podcasting, I didn't.

I didn't understand how hard it really was.

I mean, I'll be honest.

When I was growing up and I seen all these people, you know, streaming and everything else, I used to call them millennial panhandlers.

Yeah.

You know, going online and getting tips and so forth.

But after doing it.

No, no, they were working.

There's a lot of work behind running a podcast and.

And everything else between social media and.

And reels and.

And preparation and planning for the show.

I mean, you know, the.

The intro for yours.

I messed up, because I did.

I worked on another intro, and I realized that I was a month early on that person's intro.

I had it mixed up as far as the guests, but.

But that's how crazy our lives become.

Once you start podcasting.

What.

What trials did you guys have when you first started out?

So we actually started the podcast with a different title.

We called it the Daughter Dearest Podcast.

And we were kind of lackadaisical about it, like, oh, let's record this week.

Oh, let's record, you know, in two weeks.

And it doesn't work that way.

Like, get a following.

You have to show up.

So it's that understanding that no matter what, we have to do these recordings.

Right.

And that we.

And then for the two of us, because we, you know, we'll.

I don't want to say batch record our guests, but we'll record our guests whenever they schedule an appointment.

But, you know, we do every other week, just the two of us, so we have to do an episode like that is ready.

Right.

So, you know, and we do it usually just the weekend before it comes out because it's usually about whatever we're dealing with in the moment.

So really understanding that you can't just do it whenever you want.

If you want it to grow, you know, if you want people to really hear your message, then you have to show up.

And so the first, the first title, the Daughter Dearest podcast, it didn't really give the message.

It was cute.

Like, it was a play of work of Mommy Dearest.

Right.

And.

But then we decided, like, my whole brand is about helping women build confidence, and that's what I work on with my kids, so why wouldn't I have it, you know, related to that?

So those are a couple of the things that we were like, we had no clue what we were doing.

Yep.

You know, and I think everybody starts out that same way.

You know, I've, I've helped a lot of podcasters and, man, it is crazy how they realize that it's, you know, an hour of fun, of having conversation and then eight hours worth of work afterwards of editing and, and planning and prepping and, and everything else.

And you said you guys pre record, right?

You don't do live.

Yeah, we don't do live.

So we used to, when we first started, we did live and it was fine.

But I, I don't know what's better, honestly, for YouTube with algorithms and stuff like that.

So now we just.

Because we want it to come out on a, you know, every Tuesday, then we don't go live because we're never, I mean, rarely recording on Tuesday when it needs to come out.

So.

Yeah, I, you know, I agree with you.

I, I pre record as.

As, you know, as well.

I used to go live as well.

And my honest opinions is the risk to reward is not worth it.

I had a guest come on my show, and what I thought we were going to talk about is not what she had planned on talking about.

And she was running basically some sort of Ponzi scheme, this pyramid thing for cell stem stuff.

And, and I got a lot of people that follow me that, that, like, learn about the non profits that are out there and things that could potentially help them.

And that was the last live I ever did.

Yeah, because it was out there.

And I put out a disclaimer that I did not support the product.

After the show was over with, she asked me if I wanted to sign up because then I would make money off of everybody that came in underneath me.

And I'm like, I'm not doing this for money.

No, I don't want nothing to do with this.

I don't want to be a part of that.

And I was really disappointed because I do got a lot of faith in stem cell research and stuff like that.

I do think there's a lot of things that can help her.

And.

And that's, you know, what I seek out and guess is things that I'm interested in.

So it was really heartbreaking and I quit going live.

And then I realized, you know, on average we get three or four or five, maybe up to 10 listeners at a time, and they pop in, pop out, and leave, and that just the risk rewards, not worth it.

You can put it on a much better product when you can go back and edit it and get rid of the ums and huhs and.

And all that stuff and fix the coloring and lighting and.

And all those things.

It takes a lot more work, but you put out a much better product, and I think it highlights the show a lot better.

And then the other portion that you have to have is exactly what you guys have, is authenticity.

You have to believe in your message, and without that, you're not going to resonate to nobody.

So those are the three things right there.

Showing up, being on time, putting out a good product, and believing in it.

And after that, it'll build into what?

It'll grow like a child.

It'll take its own form.

And.

And your show will.

Will change and grow as.

As you guys grow as podcasters.

So that's really cool.

I. Yeah, thank you.

Yeah, it's.

Again, it's really been fun and something that I look forward to every single week.

Yeah.

So when you have guests on and you do your interview, um, has there ever been a time that.

That you were just like, oh, I didn't expect the show to go this way and had to adjust.

Sometimes in good ways, sometimes in bad ways.

I mean, there's been a couple episodes that we never published because similar to what you said, that was not the bill of goods I was sold.

And when the person came on, I was like, oh, yeah, we don't.

This is not what we're.

That we're talking.

Like, her.

She was.

Said she was going to be talking about wellness and her whole.

The whole entire time she was talking about dieting.

And like, we're.

Again, if I'm trying to help my daughter build confidence, it's not telling her that, you know, she needs to lose weight.

Right.

So I was like, okay, this is not where I want to Go.

So, so we've had a couple like that where we never published, but yeah, I mean, we had a woman on a couple weeks ago.

It hasn't come out yet, but she, she created this business five years ago and it's booming.

She's an interior designer and she like has her own fabric lines now and everything.

In five years, like she created all this stuff.

I mean, it's a huge.

She's got like 30 employees.

And so that, that's what I thought we were talk, gonna talk about.

And then she had put something under, like in the form that she filled out for us, and she mentioned that her husband had had cancer.

And so I asked her about it, you know, I said, tell me about the story about your husband.

And she said, he was diagnosed with a kind of bone cancer and I don't remember the name of it that nobody's ever survived.

That was 16 years ago.

Like he had like his pelvis removed and replaced with all kinds of stuff.

And it was such a crazy story.

That was not where I thought we were going to go.

I thought we were going to talk about building a business and like the hard work it takes.

And then, you know, it was really about how that was so life changing, obviously for their family and that belief in yourself.

So, you know, he, the doctor never told him that nobody's ever survived this before, you know, and probably if he would have, you know, again, you start thinking things like that, that's what you, that's what happens, right?

Like your thoughts become your reality.

And so.

And again, he's 16 years later, he's doing well, so you never know what's going to come out.

You're like, wait, what?

Yeah, yeah.

And, and you know, you're absolutely right.

You know, what's the old saying?

Think you can or think you can't?

Either way, you're correct.

You know, and, and it's, it is important.

You have to see what you want to accomplish.

If you can vision it, you can complete it.

I want to talk a little bit about your book.

So did the book come before the podcast or was it the other way around?

So I actually have, I have a copy of the new book.

Let me grab it.

So I have two books.

So the, the first book, which is behind me, the Extraordinary unordinary, you.

That one came before the podcast.

And then the new Real Confidence, A Simple Guide to Go from Unsure to Unshakable, comes out in February.

And that book is.

I'm really excited for it to come Out.

It has been three years of work, you know, like.

Like a podcast.

It doesn't stop, right.

I didn't know what I didn't know when I wrote my first book, right?

I was like, oh, if you write, write it, they will come.

No, they won't.

They won't come.

They don't know about it.

Right.

Same thing with the podcast.

Like, you have to tell people.

You have to share it.

So this book, I'm think I'm doing better.

Like, February will be here and we'll see.

But yeah, I'm really.

I have.

My husband is, you know, telling everybody he knows about it, and it should be.

It should be really exciting for it to pop out into the world, because it's all based on my real method, which is to help people build confidence.

A lot of my work really focuses on women, but trust me, men need it, too.

And it real stands for respect yourself, embrace your failures, ask yourself what you want, and live without limits.

And I really, I started with self respect because I think that's the foundation of everything we do, right.

If we don't respect ourselves, how do we expect other people to if we don't treat ourselves in the way we want to be treated?

Right.

I mean, and that was true of me for a long time.

Like, I.

The way I talk to myself, I would never talk to my best friend that way, but that's how I talk to myself.

And it was the understanding of that I need to be my own best friend because I'm going to be living with me for the rest of my life.

So do I want to wake up every morning and say, oh, you're going to have a horrible day and I don't like you at all, or do I want to do it differently?

And the realization was that I want to do this differently.

Right.

I have one life.

Like, let me enjoy it and stop being so mean to myself.

Yeah.

I think, you know, we talked a little bit briefly about trauma, and I think that's the.

That is the.

The killer.

That's where trauma really puts a hold on you, is because instead of letting that one moment define itself, you allow that one moment to define yourself.

Yes.

And that one moment just continues to keep going.

And I see that with veterans all the time.

You know, we're not given the tools emotionally.

And I'm talking about men and women, not just men.

When you get out to deal with the civilian world, we were given the tools to survive combat and deal with the military world, and the only tool they give you is anger.

That's the only emotion that you have.

And when you leave, that emotion doesn't work.

It actually is counterproductive of trying to fit in and find yourself and.

And everything else.

And, yeah, there was a lot of moments that, you know, I. I realized that I screwed up, and I allowed those moments to define myself for quite a while.

I beat myself up over them.

One of those is never sharing with my family the trouble I was going through.

You know, my first book wasn't a book.

I. I wrote it as a document to my kids and my wife to explain what had happened.

And my kids seen me before 9, 11, and they knew the old me versus what I had changed into.

And.

But they never understood why.

So I did that.

My daughter's the one that, you know, convinced me to publish it.

And, man, you never know out there who.

Who needs to hear those stories.

And so, absolutely, when.

When I first started writing, like you said, I didn't know what I didn't know, and I didn't think it was going to be as hard as it was to get through a book.

And.

And I don't recommend your first book to be something that you're dealing with through trauma or something like that, because the editing process is brutal.

I had to reread what I had wrote about myself over and over and over again, reliving these moments.

And, you know, it was good.

It did help, but, man, it's tough.

What.

What struggles did you come across when you first started writing?

You know, that perfectionism piece where you got to do it 50 million times?

It's not good enough.

It's not good enough.

Is that strong enough?

You know, that's not strong enough.

Is that the right story?

And I finally.

What I did was I set a date and that whatever shape it was in at that point, that's when it went.

Went off to the editor to say, okay, you do with it what you will.

And I had to also disconnect myself from the stories to say that if something doesn't fit, please take it out because I'm too close to it.

Right?

I. Yeah, they're like, you know, yes, this is my baby.

Right?

I'm birthing a baby into the world.

But I don't want to set something out there that other people are like.

That makes no sense.

That story doesn't belong there just because I wanted to put a story in there.

So that was a really big understanding for me that it took a bit because, you know, you put so much work into it, and so much of it is very personal, very vulnerable that you like.

For example, in this book, I talk about my abusive boyfriend from high school.

My mom hasn't read the book yet.

Like, I think she might be a little shocked when she reads it because I held all that in.

Like, I lied about everything.

I didn't say what was going on.

And so, I mean, they knew.

Like, they knew especially, you know, you come home with a black eye, it's hard to say, oh, yeah, I fell down.

And they're like, no, you didn't.

I was like, oh, yeah, I did.

I fell down.

So.

But, you know, having people read it for the first time, people that don't know my story and then people that do know my story to hear, like, more of the details of it, you know, it's really putting yourself out there and.

And you have to be comfortable with that.

It's just like going on a podcast and being able to share your story.

You don't know who's going to read it.

Right.

And you don't know what impact you're going to make.

And knowing that you will impact people with your story is what matters.

I. I want to ask you a question, if you don't mind, because I'm curious.

After you wrote your book, like, what did your family.

What did your family say?

What did they think?

Because again, when you have so many things that have happened and you haven't said it out loud, were they shocked?

Were they, like, what.

What was the.

What was the response to the book?

So my daughter was very supportive.

She.

She fully understood, as far as, you know, but that was because she can understand as a mom, she's now a mom as she's reading this, and she can put herself in that situation where she doesn't want to share the negative down to her child and let them see it.

So she kind of understood that part of it.

I think the person that, that the dots got connected the most for was my wife.

And it's because behind the scenes, that the kids didn't see, there was a lot of stuff going on that didn't make sense.

And I know they, they were puzzled by, you know, there was two years that me and my wife didn't even sleep in the same bed anymore.

And it was because I was having nightmares.

My, you know, I would throw my arms around and my wife had got elbowed in the head, and.

And she would hear me screaming and.

And then, you know, when I'd sit up, she'd ask, what's wrong?

And I would.

I'd say, just a bad dream.

And she said, well, what was it about?

Trying to get me to talk about it.

And I would just tell.

I don't remember, you know, which was a lie.

But, you know, it just got to be too much because she couldn't sleep at all.

And, you know, nobody wants to go to bed with a helmet on, that's for sure.

So I think, you know, when she got the behind the scenes, when she seen the stories of the things that was bothering me and the things that had happened to me, I think it put a lot of those dots together as far as what was going on in our life.

I think it brought us a little bit closer, to be honest.

You know, she knew it wasn't all.

All cupcakes over there, but that's the way I would make it out.

And.

And she got those words from on accident, from a fellow veteran that was in our area for vacation.

And so we went out to dinner, and he started talking about a situation that we almost got hit with a rocket.

It hit a generator, I don't know, probably about 50 yards from us.

Came over the top of us and blew up a generator, and we all jumped on the ground.

And I never shared that story with my.

My wife.

And so we're at the dinner, and he brought it up, and I could just see into my wife's eyes, like, what.

You know, but we're talking about.

I spent 68 months deployed.

So, you know, the first time I left, my wife was in tears.

The last time I left, she rolled over and said, I'll see you in a year.

And that's how numb I made her of.

What?

There's nothing going on.

It's just another day at the office.

You know, I always came home.

I just never talked about any of the.

The negative stuff, you know?

So I think.

I think, again, it was probably shocking to her, but I think.

I think it brought us a little bit closer, and I think it connected a lot of dots that she didn't understand what was going on at those times.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think a lot of times we don't want to share what we're going through for two reasons.

Like, I think, again, being vulnerable is very hard.

But then we also don't feel like we need to bring people into it.

Right.

I mean, it's bad enough if we already had to deal with it, now they have to deal with it, too.

And, you know, it's an unrealistic way of thinking.

Right?

When you're with someone, they want to help.

And so I've.

I've really had to learn that lesson as well.

Yeah, I think, too.

I think the big shock for me, though, was I used to tell everybody when I first published the book, you know, I said, hey, if you want to buy it, it's in every pharmacy next to the melatonin on the shelf, you know?

And what shocked me was the majority of my reviews didn't necessarily come from veterans.

They came from veteran spouses.

And the things that I was describing about myself, they seen in their own partner.

And it put a lot of the perspective.

Obviously, their story is different than my story, but it put a lot of the perspective of what was going on and what the thinking was.

And I didn't write the book with that intent.

I mean, I didn't write it as a book, but it was shocking to see how many veteran spouses that it helped compared to what I expected.

I expected, you know, other veterans to read it and get some criticism and so forth, because we all think that we went through the worst part of it and we did the most, and everybody.

That ego gets in everybody's way sometimes, but that wasn't the response.

So I did find that shocking as well.

Yeah, it's amazing.

So let me ask you this.

When.

When you compare starting out your book right, and then starting out that podcast, there is a lot of similarities to it.

Like you said, the planning and preparation and the learning on the fly.

All of those things become.

What was the.

The tools that you took from writing that you.

You tried to integrate into podcasting?

Do it messy.

That would be one thing.

Because, you know, I really.

With that first book, I was like, oh, it's not ready.

It's not ready.

And then I'm like, yes, it's ready.

Like, let it go.

And so that was a big thing with podcasting, is that you could try to be perfect.

There's no such thing as perfect.

But you could.

You could keep saying, I'm not ready for this.

I'm not ready for this.

Like, oh, my gosh, I have to do this first.

No, just do it.

The more you do things, the better you get.

And so that was definitely a huge one.

And that when you mess something up, the only person that knows is you.

Yeah.

Like, if you say something wrong, like, so what?

Right.

And.

And we're.

We're always so hard on ourselves that, oh, my gosh, you messed that up.

You got to edit that out.

We actually don't do very much editing on Our show, every once in a while, there's something that happens, but in general, we just leave how we talk.

Because I say, like, a lot.

She says.

I think she says, like, a lot, too.

I say a lot of ands and, you know, like, that's how we talk.

And it's kind of.

It's actually kind of funny because then you can listen back and say, oh, my gosh, I think I might have said, like, 300 times in that episode.

Yeah, you know, I'm.

I'm the same way.

I.

When I do my editing, I. I will edit.

Like, if there's long pauses or stuff like that.

I don't change words.

I don't change anything that the guest says or that I said.

Those little mistakes and those little twerks, that's what.

Where.

That's the heartbeat of authenticity.

It shows that we're not AI robots, that we are imperfect, and we all make mistakes, and I think we can all laugh at those, and that's what connects the audience to us.

So, yeah, I don't.

I don't.

I edit the sound.

As far as the sound quality.

Every once in a while, I have to edit my dog out of it that wants to.

To be a part of it, but for the most part, yeah, it's.

It's the.

The color.

I do it when the video.

I make the color a little bit brighter and clearer and the audio a little bit clearer.

But I don't change anything that's said because I. I want the audience to understand that, look, we're doing this because we believe in it, and we're not going to be perfect, but the message is out there.

Yeah, there was a.

You know, there's been episodes where I'm like, I started and then.

Wait, what's the name of the podcast?

And it's just, like, funny things because, like, you know, we have so much going on all day, and then.

And then I forget something at the end, you know, and I'm like, oh, whatever.

It's.

It is what it is.

And, you know, but that's.

Being human, is that we're not perfect.

We all make mistakes.

We all do things wrong all the time, and that's just part of life.

Yeah, Absolutely.

I agree 100%.

And I think that's.

That's what makes us all unique.

And.

And that's why there's 3 million podcasts and there's room for everybody, you know, because we are all individuals.

Let me ask you this.

Going through your website, one thing I was kind of wondering about.

I'm gonna open it back up here.

There was a part that said that you guys had been seen by some really big networks, you know, ABC and a few others.

Was this with the work that you're doing or was this with the podcast or your book?

This is both the book and the work that I'm doing.

So, you know, just pitching stuff out there about helping women build confidence.

And you know, a lot of the ones on there are older, but I'm starting a whole new media pitch again because of the new book.

So we'll, we'll see how it goes.

Yeah, well, definitely don't sell yourself short because getting, getting your name in, in with any of those, Even in a 10 second little mention is super difficult.

And so my hat's off to you for, for accomplishing that.

That is, that is awesome.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

Let me, let me dive a little bit deeper into the, the podcast a little bit more.

When, when you and your, your daughter are doing your recording and, and your daughter has kind of taken over and, and doing some talking and, and that coming out of that shell, what, what is that moment like?

Because that I have never had that experience, but I can just imagine how proud I would be to see the whole purpose of the show just explosion right there coming out of confidence and working herself through it.

Yeah, I love when she just starts talking.

Right.

Because when we have guests on, we start off with some questions and then it usually takes its own path and you can tell when she's really interested in a guest.

Like she does most of the talking.

And then there's other times that I do most of the talking.

But, you know, we always have like a certain number of questions at the end that we always ask.

So we have, I always ask, you know, what does confidence mean to you?

She always asks what's the best advice a woman in your life has ever given you?

And then the last thing we do before the guest will, you know, tell them, tell us where they can, people can find them is she has a calendar called the UN F yourself calendar.

And I love it.

She reads from that calendar every single time.

And it's really fun because it, a lot of it really matches with what we talk about that day.

So, you know, I mean, you know, she had, she actually left some on my, my desk that this one says get out of the ordinary.

Reach for the extraordinary.

Live like a miracle with nothing left and all you've got thrown into it.

So, you know, there's, they're really great quotes.

And so I buy Her.

Which reminds me, I still have to get it for next year.

I buy her a calendar for each year we've been doing it.

I think this is year four or five now.

And when she was in college, her roommates would always be.

Be like, where.

Where's the calendar?

Like, where's the.

Where's the new calendar?

Well, that's, you know, that in itself, Right there is.

Is another milestone.

You know what they say that, that, like, more than 50% of the podcasts out there never see episode 50.

Yes.

And so to be four years into it, my hat's off to you that we started our show about the same time, because that's where I'm at.

I'm about year four as well.

Well, we're actually not four.

We're two and a half years into it.

But the calendar.

We started getting her that four years ago.

Yeah, two and a half years.

So, yeah, I mean, again, I'm hoping that it will continue forever, even when she's a practicing attorney.

So, you know, we'll see how it goes.

Yeah, I. I have no doubt you guys have made it this far.

You're over the hurdle.

You know, that whole podcast fade and, And I've learned how to control that.

As far as, you know, it does become very difficult.

I have had very little interviews in the month of December, and it's same for me just about these last couple years.

And I do that personally so that I have time to reflect.

I like to go back and look at some of the episodes and see how the show's changed and stuff.

And I just want to take that time to celebrate myself on the accomplishments.

And so I don't do a lot of interviews for December, and then I'll get back into it in January and February and.

And ramp back up.

But you have to take that break as well.

But it doesn't mean the show ends.

And that's the perfect thing about having episodes stacked ahead so that your audience doesn't realize that.

But you've got to take that time for yourself because this is difficult.

It's not easy.

Like people think.

Yeah, we did actually a lot of recordings in December, the beginning of the month, so that we could take basically all of January and up to my book launch off because I just have too much going on.

So I was like, let's plan strategically.

How.

How many episodes do we have so that I can not have to think about recording throughout January.

And so.

But you're right, because, I mean, it's always fun, but there's so much Work that goes in with it that, you know, you're like, ah, I gotta get all this done.

I'm actually was recording some videos today for something else that I'm doing, and it is so much work.

Like, okay, saying it right is one thing, but then the editing, I'm like, wait, I don't remember how to do this.

Like, I haven't done this in a while.

So I'm okay, go watch a video, go watch a YouTube video, figure out how to do it, then go back and fix it, you know?

And so I spent the last like four hours doing that, and I'm still not done.

I still have like four more videos to go.

But, like, now it's going to be quicker because now I know what I'm doing.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And that's the, the cool part about this is as you learn, I don't know what editing software you use.

I use Adobe Premiere, and that's not the easiest software to learn on.

There's much easier software out there.

But after the years of messing with it, playing with it, I've gotten fairly good with it and I just stick with it.

But I didn't know how to do any of that stuff.

I didn't.

I had to do same thing you did, watch YouTube videos and, and make mistakes and get frustrated and walk away and then sit back down and all of this.

You know, this last year I opened up a media company.

And, you know, so I, I do have a little, A little business.

It's not a big business.

It's a little business, you know, that allows me to still say, hey, I accomplished a goal that I wanted to be.

You know, I, I closed one business, but I didn't close that door, and I opened another one.

And I did that because it runs side and side with our nonprofit.

We have a radio station for veterans that want to become musicians.

And so we done a lot of great things.

And at the end of the day, yeah, it does get daunting, man.

You know, when you're, You're.

I put out two episodes a week, and then I've got customers and, and websites to build and.

And I'm working on a new app for the nonprofit that Apple keeps fighting me on.

And.

And it does.

It becomes frustrating and daunting.

So I get it.

Yeah.

I mean, and there's so much to learn.

So, like, you learn one thing and then it's already obsolete, and then you got to learn something else.

Like even, you know, for my, my CRM, like, we have a new thing for sending out Emails and stuff, and I don't have time to learn it right now.

So, yeah, I hired someone to help me with that because there's so many other things that I'm doing that I'm like, okay, after the, After I'm done with the book launch, then I'll learn it.

But until then, I just can't add one more thing.

I'm like, does this go here?

Does this go there?

How many YouTube videos am I going to have to watch to get this one thing done?

You know, so it's, you know, we're, we're, we're very hard on ourselves that, you know, you have to learn everything and you have to do it right now.

And so I'm saying, no, take a little break.

Yep, it's the end of the year.

Take a little break.

And that's the perfect time to look back and say, you know what?

This isn't as bad as I've been making it out to be.

I have accomplished some really good stuff.

And, you know, that's what I do.

You know, I like to.

To put out an episode, you know, that's just random.

It's just usually a bonus episode.

But it just me talks about some of the.

The moments from that year of guests that I've had on, you know, I had.

And it's real personal to me.

And because I followed the situation, I had Jessica lynch on my show.

I don't know if you remember who she is.

She was the first female POW in Iraq war.

When Iraq started, her compadres left her because they thought she was dead.

So they took her weapon, took her her ammo and continued to fight.

And luckily, I say luckily, it was the Iraqi army, not some fedahine or, you know, some little group out there that found her.

And she was at the hospital and we had to go rescue her and get her out of being a pow.

She's done a lot of amazing things.

You talk about a very courageous woman.

You know, her best friend was killed that day.

She.

She was the driver of the Humvee that hit the vehicle.

And I remember this because I just.

I was so proud of her, even though I didn't know her.

She went on that show Extreme Home Makeover.

I don't know if you remember watching redo a whole house and give it to the people.

Her daughter or her best friend was in the military to buy a house for her daughter and her parents, all to live in because they were living on an Indian reservation in a trailer.

And she went on that show and that show bought some property because they didn't own the land that the.

The trailer was on.

So they bought some property and they built her a house.

Wow.

And gave it to the family and the daughter, you know, so that stuff like that is just really cool.

There's some really, really cool people out there that you meet through this, and.

And I think those moments need to.

To go back and look at and say, man, I'm.

I'm glad I got to talk to that person or I got to meet that person.

They have a real powerful story.

Yeah.

I think oftentimes we get to the end of the year and we think of all the things that we didn't finish, and we need to do the opposite.

We need to look at all the things that we did accomplish.

Right.

Because when you really look back at it, you're like, oh, my gosh, I really got a lot done.

Right.

But we tend to do the opposite.

Right.

Yeah.

Like you said, we're very critical of ourselves.

Well, I'm going to bring you forward and give you the opportunity to tell everybody where they can find your books and.

And maybe where some book signings might be and.

And where they can watch the podcast.

Yeah, absolutely.

So the way to find me is simonecanego.com S I M O N E K N E G O and you can find my new book real confidence@realconfidencebook.com Social media is all Simone Conego.

I am the only Simone Canego in the world.

So even if you spell it wrong, you will find me.

And then if you want to, I'm giving away a free copy of my audiobook from my first book.

And that book is called the Extraordinary Unordinary you.

And you can find that@ordinary.simonecanago.com book and I think that's it.

Come listen to the podcast.

Her unshakable confidence.

Come check us out.

Absolutely.

And I will make sure that I link your websites and books and.

And especially that podcast in there for people to see it as well as click on it and.

And listen.

Great.

I think.

I think people.

Yeah, I think people enjoy it.

I want to end with a few fun questions.

So I usually have two fun questions.

If you could sit down with one person, alive or dead, and just have a conversation over dinner, who would that be?

It would actually be my mom's mom.

So my.

My grandmother on my mom's side because she lived until her mid-90s, but I really didn't know her story.

Right.

1.

And you know her, her mom had a sixth grade education.

Her dad worked in the coal mines and at a local brewery.

But my mom knew she wanted to be educated.

And so I would love to sit down with my grandmother and find out her life story and find out what she thought of my mom going to college.

Because, you know, originally the thought was you are going to look, learn to cook, clean and sew, because that's what women do, you know, that was the time.

And my mom did all that and went to medical school.

So that's who I'd love to sit down with.

Absolutely.

So what would the meal be?

What would be your go to meal to have that dinner conversation with?

Oh, that's a great question.

I mean, I don't know if my grandmother would like it, but I love steak and lobster.

She might, she might prefer pot roast and mashed potatoes, but I think steak and lobster would be my choice.

Absolutely.

Well, Simone, it's been great having you on the show.

I. I enjoyed the conversation.

You guys are doing some amazing work and I strongly suggest all my listeners to subscribe to her podcast and listen to it as well because it's very powerful and she's doing some amazing stuff.

So again, I appreciate you coming on the show.

Y' all have a great day.

Don't forget, don't let the day kick your ass.

Kick the day's ass, Sam.