Shownotes
Welcome to episode 27!
In this episode, we are going to have a deeper dive into some of the challenges that we all face with our balance between work and our personal life, whatever we want to put our attention on. What the benefits are, what to prioritise, and we also have a chat about tips and techniques to a healthy work life balance.
I'm delighted to be joined by the very special Kirsty Knight. Kirsty is a Business, Mindset & Productivity coach. Kirsty also hosts a podcast called The Time & Productivity Podcast for Entrepreneurs which I'm very grateful to have been a guest on - Have a listen here
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Transcripts
Episode 27 - Work Life Balance
Transcript
::Welcome to mental wealth, the podcast to invest in your mind. Here I will help you make sense of your mind and behaviours, giving you the tools to have your best life. There is so much to share, so let's get into this episode and explore another great top.
:: ::So welcome to episode 27. And in this episode we are going to have a little bit of a deeper dive into some of the challenges that we all face with our balancing between work and life or life and life, whatever we want to put your attention on and I'm delighted to say that I have a very special guest.
::With me to share this space, Kirsty Knights are welcome, Kirsty.
::Thank you so much for having me.
::Brilliant. So tell everyone a little bit more about you before we get.
:: glamping business actually in: ::And I doubled it in size and it was just way too much for me to manage on my.
::Own, but I had sort of all this mindset mindset blocks. If you like to hiring help and spending money on people you know helping me out to free up some of my time and just fears around it in general and a sense of that, I should know what I was doing and also that I should be able to manage it all and juggle.
::Or like a need to feel like I was in control of everything. All of those things were sort of the things that were making it very challenging for me to have a work life balance and I.
::Remember this one?
::This one time where my partner and I hadn't spent any time together for the whole summer, pretty much reopened in April and I think this was August and what I'd had maybe one afternoon off that entire time and I was working from 7:00 in the morning till midnight pretty much.
::Because it was, you know, I was my.
::Own boss. I could do whatever, but I was doing.
::All the things I was doing, admin and ironing late at night and you know changing over the tents and cleaning the toilets. I was doing everything and that afternoon we'd been invited to a a beach gathering for his best friend's birthday and we hadn't seen him for years. He had moved to New Zealand.
::And I I said, Oh my God. Yeah. OK, we'll, I'll definitely try to make this happen. We we need some time off together. And by the time I'd finished all of the jobs on the campsite to get ready to go, it was about 3:30. By the time we got to the beach, it was 4:00.
::And we were.
::Supposed to be there about midday and as we got there, the clouds have rolled in.
::And it started raining, and all of our friends were packing up their stuff and leaving. And that was a very it was like a hard hitting moment for me when I realised this isn't what I wanted. This is not why I was, you know, striving to achieve in this business.
::That I did not have a work life balance at all and that something needed to change cause I had never felt like more of a failure in that moment. That seemed the disappointment on my partner's face and also for myself, feeling like what is the point of doing all this? And I think that that is one of the things that, particularly as women, ambitious women, whether it's in our careers or in business.
::We're striving to, you know, achieve and fulfil our potential and we've also got all the responsibilities of all the other things that we're doing, family, house, all.
::The rest of it.
::I think it's.
::Really hard for us to find that work life balance and I think we're very hard of ourselves and that was kind of how I entered into the personal development world.
::Firstly, looking for ways to be more productive and fit more in and.
::Have more time sort of create more time and then after that realising that a lot of the struggles that I was having was coming from mindset and that's sort of how I entered the field. So now I'm.
::A coach for.
::Women who are looking for looking to stop hustling basically in their business and in their careers and and achieve more of a work life balance.
::Without killing themselves and feeling fulfilled.
::And all of those things.
::Brilliant. And I think what's really important to me, having people as guests on this show is not just because you are.
::Running that kind of business, but the fact that you've lived, it breathed it, got the T-shirt, et cetera, and that's really important to me because that's me too. You know, I think that's one of the purposes of this podcast and a lot of my work is to help people realise that they're not on their own. And actually we are all doing this thing called life.
::Which can be quite challenging and I love it that you you know, you've been really open there, Kirsty, and just let people know that.
::You know you. You felt it so deeply that you then found something to do about it. And I think that sometimes can be the reason for people putting changes in isn't it is because it has all gone horribly wrong. Or could we start to do things before we go horribly wrong?
::Yes, absolutely. I think that the well, the, the nicer place to start is just deciding, oh, I I want more of a balance. My life isn't a a mess. But yeah, for me, that wasn't the the option that I had. But I I think it's fine. Wherever you start if.
::You know what you want if you know.
::With that, what what you've got right now isn't maybe working or you want more of it like you want a better work life balance. There's no place to.
::Start that's wrong.
::Yeah, I agree with you. I think we could all probably do some different things and hopefully we can chat about a few ideas in this episode. But equally, if you are listening in and it, you can resonate with.
::Kirsty's story, or some of the other things that we're talking about today that you feel like you have hit that rock bottom place, then good cause there's only a change from there, right. So let's first of all, Kirsty, have a little think about.
::The kind of things that people should notice. Maybe if we did imagine that this was some sort of a conveyor belt and the one end is the the the beach occasion for you and at the other end is you know, you're feeling quite organised with life. Cause let's not pretend that life isn't busy and somewhere we're all somewhere.
::On that I mean.
::I have had to to to arrange this call with you today, Kirsty. I had to put you off 20 minutes. So my my juggling was a little bit challenged today. So we're all doing it, I think. Let's just have a little think about what kind of things might people start to notice so that they know that they maybe do need to put more work life balance in.
::What kind of things do you hear people say Kirsty.
::So I think one of the first things to look for.
::Is is like.
::Your emotional experience, like what's going on for you if you're feeling overwhelmed, that's something that I hear all the time.
::And, you know, just massively overwhelmed, just feeling overwhelmed by everything. All the balls that you're juggling.
::That's a a sure.
::Fire sign that something needs to change, stressed and.
::Maybe you will.
::You've recognised stress or anxiety. Rather than feeling overwhelmed, that's your sign that you there's something that maybe needs to be tweaked in your day-to-day.
::If you're feeling frustrated, either by things coming up and like your plan not going to according to plan, because I think this is one of the things that when you enter that space of trying to be more organised or trying to get more in control of your time and have more of a way of life.
::Balance a lot of us start with the perfectionistic mindset of, like, I'm going to put this plan in place and this is how it has to be. But.
::We're very.
::Rigid and that actually causes more problems than it helps, often because we realise like we start feeling frustrated when our plan doesn't go to plan. And of course it's not gonna go to plan because we've been battling through.
::You know all the things that we're trying to juggle and and life will never go according to plan. I I never, you know, I teach time blocking. But and I always allow for.
::You know white space just in case. And even if you have to move some things being kind to yourself and being OK with it is one of the the tools and all of the skill sets that you need to learn to sort of better go with the flow because you absolutely cannot be rigid in your perfectionism around getting this right. The reason, yeah.
::I think it it it really is like.
::How can we just juggle all these balls?
::Dropping a few less than we have been. You know, we're never going to have 100 balls all in the air at once. Sometimes we have to set some down and.
::Press pause on.
::Some things, and that's OK. And I think that that's that's one of those things. So if you're feeling frustrated, that's a sign that you know, maybe you're trying this and.
::It's not working and it's because you're being a little bit too perfectionistic, so that those are sort of the core ones, like overwhelmed, stressed anxiety and then frustration as like.
::Indicators or from a more practical point of view.
::Indicators might just be that things that are on your To Do List for weeks and weeks and weeks like they're never getting tended to, or you feel like if you've got a business or a career, you're never making the progress that you want in your.
::Career, no matter how, even if you're you think you're in a busy season one season and then that season turns into another season and then another season.
::Like you'll never. You never feel like you're making progress. That's also a sign. Because I think as humans, we feel.
::We need to.
::Feel like we're making progress.
::Even if it's tiny, tiny steps. And so that's a a sign if something is on our to do this constantly or if we feel like we're not making progress, those are other indicators that maybe something is off.
::Yeah, I love.
::That, and I think it is paying attention, isn't it being aware firstly to that feeling that whatever it is, whether it's comes in coming out of frustration, whether it's coming out of as overwhelmed, whether it's even coming out of sadness, you know, just by lack of achievement, we can often feel quite sad. But I think one of the things I notice.
::This and and I can notice this in myself just as much as I can see it in others is when we've got those feelings, whichever it is.
::We obviously want to get rid of.
::That feeling, because we don't like it.
::And what we do is we tell ourselves if we've got all of those things done and all of that done and all of that over there done then I'd feel OK. But of course it's not realistic.
::Because, but what I remind.
::People is if you manage the feeling, so pay a little bit of attention to the feeling and you said, you know, be kind to yourself, which is definitely a good space. Being able to just pause and think, OK, it's OK. I feel overwhelmed. Let's just stop or let's just be kinder or pause or whatever you need to do.
::We that that.
::Sort of funny little thing that we all do, or it can be quite a big thing where we start to imagine that we'll get everything perfect and even down to, you know, start looking at you. I'll just tidy under my stairs or I'll just do all the jobs that you just think because you're trying to get rid of the feeling. And I think that's.
::It's a feeling that we need to pay attention to because in that feeling.
::We won't be productive. We won't come up with good problem solving. We won't have innovation. We'll just have more of the same. How would you? Would you say you hear something similar with your?
::Ohh absolutely I I think that I mean overwhelm. I often refer to as the least productive emotion because when we're feeling overwhelmed, we typically do one of two things.
::We either.
::Sort of flipped.
::Between tasks in like a frenzy, like a panicked frenzy, like trying to do a bit of everything when we're feeling overwhelmed, or we go into like a Free State and don't do any of it, sort of almost ignore all the things that are pressing on us and go do something else that's not even on our list. And that might be scrolling, or it might be, you know, creating another.
::Job for ourselves.
::It's like just to escape the.
::Feeling and meaning.
::We want to process the feeling rather than.
::Just sort of.
::Buffer it away or sort of suppress it.
::I'm for sure. Yeah, I think that is one of the reasons why we struggle to have a work like, that's because we we think that once we've ticked all the projects off our to do this, we once we get there then we will have time to slow down then we will have time to you know give ourselves a break.
::And that is one of the main reasons why we don't establish a work life balance is because we think that there is this promised land that we're gonna get.
::You and I and in this society like how we are right now with all of the connections and communications and opportunities and you know, obligations and commitments that we are all doing. It's a very busy life for everyone. It's not like we live in the.
::Cave anymore or in the?
::Woods. And so there will never be a time.
::This is what I tell my friends. There will never be a time where you have takes everything off that To Do List because often, particularly as women, when you're doing recurring tasks or maybe in your career that you'll have some project based tasks, but some things that need to be done recurring. So in business like marketing.
::Thing, even if you take off all of those things for the week, they'll they'll just be reset for the next week like.
::Will never get to the end of your To Do List, and that's OK and.
::It is in the.
::Managing of your emotion around that and.
::Feel it like.
::Learning how to feel OK with an unfinished To Do List. Basically. Yeah. And or allocating only enough for the day so that you are able to give yourself permission to take that break.
::That's how you establish a work life balance, not by finishing all the time. So I love that you brought that up because yeah, for sure that is that is the.
::Here's what we're wanting to.
::Get rid of that feeling. So we.
::Imagine if we'll get.
::All those things done, whatever those are, whether they're you're thinking about, business life, whatever families, whatever it is, all of those things, it's not realistic. It's it's absolutely not that. So it is about if you are feeling overwhelmed, it's about finding.
::Ways that you can manage that overwhelm, because what I also see is when we get frustrated with ourselves because.
::We're not managing.
::And then you're you're almost doubling up the negative emotion. You're doubling up that frustration on top of, you're overwhelmed. And then, and that's where, like, you say, you probably will do the freeze thing and just not do anything which might be might be a solution.
::And in that moment, that could be a solution. You know, I'm a big fan of shut your laptop and go and do something else if you really feel burnt out.
::Absolutely. But I would say shut your laptop and go for a walk or do something that is beneficial for you, like an actual rest activity, not shut your laptop and go start another project or you know like or. I don't know, start scrolling on your phone that doesn't actually leave you feeling rejuvenated like that, that those are the things that we typically do and those other things that don't.
::Save us.
::And you make a good point. I again, all of this is me personally just as much as anyone else. So often you hear people who have come away maybe from their work, wherever their work is.
::And they're trying to do something and I'm using the word, trying very purposefully. They're trying to do the relaxation, the walk, the, the, whatever your sport is or craft or whatever it is that you enjoy.
::Doing but your head.
::Is still over in the the jobs.
::Or you're in. You're working, you're trying to work, and your head is wishing that you were sitting on the sofa.
::Right. And I think one of the things I like to help people think about is make sure that you separate the two as as best.
::As you can of course.
::The you know, the brain is very powerful and you will be having thoughts about your work when you're on your time off. But for me there's something about separating the two so that if you are off be off so that you get.
::You recharge and then if you're in work, be in work and try and keep focused rather than be wishing you a it was the weekend all the time. You know, I think it's that to me, it's that separation. It's that something else.
::You work with Kirsty.
::I totally agree with that. I I found for me as well.
::There are two things.
::I needed to do really, that helped me with that one is really learn that lesson, but nothing is ever going to be finished like I'm on this journey of life. And it's OK if there are always projects that are unfinished, like actually being OK.
::That and giving you and telling yourself I have time because half of the problem is us telling ourselves we things are more urgent than they are and that I, you know, I don't have the time. So really learning that lesson.
::And within that, uncoupling my worth to my productivity and my success to my worth sort of. So that's like one piece of what really helped me doing that deeper work on that. And then the second was basically using a tool like.
::A calendar to.
::Delineate that for me to make it very clear to set those boundaries in place.
::So for me, I use time blocking and I am very clear that this time is work time and this.
::Time is off.
::And every time I do that and I'm not perfect, like I obviously fall back into old patterns every now and again.
::And sometimes I'll I'll catch myself, you know, trying to work. When I said I wasn't gonna work. And and the same in reverse. But when I'm really conscious about it and intentional and I decide. OK.
::No matter what, I haven't done, this is time off and I put that on my calendar.
::It for me it really helps me give myself permission to switch off. So when I am off then it's almost like I I've like I'm allowed to be off and and it's a really hard mindset to get out of. It's almost like we've been programmed to think that we should be on all the time. But that for me is just a tiny little hack that really helps is just.
::Having a calendar or diary slot that says.
::You know, like set hours, these other things that I'm doing in these times and then this is time off to give myself permission cause I agree. Otherwise it's very difficult because you'll constantly be feeling guilty that you're not working or guilty, that you're, you know, that you should be working when you're not and and not.
::Enjoying your rest?
::Yeah, I think so. So we separate.
::That will however you do that, like you say, time blocking I I I use that sometimes with people just making that promise to yourself that no matter what, because we won't have finished. But no matter what, we're gonna go and do something else and then do it and enjoy doing it so that you feel topped up. Otherwise it's all a bit blurred. And I think you know this would be the same.
::Somebody who was employed, you know, at the end of the day, that's the end of your day. So let's make it that. And rather than have that feeling, but I think the other thing that I want to.
::Add here is if you don't.
::So you said, sometimes you slip back.
::In and you.
::Find you. You're working on days and you said you aren't going to, but if you do do that, let's not beat ourselves up for it. So because again, that just impacts, isn't it? On your your good stuff on your feeling, nice feeling, relaxed feeling.
::Kinder to yourself, you know, if you do it, it's a bit like.
::If you scroll on social media, for example, if you do it and you've spent half an hour, and then you think, oh, that was a waste of time, there's no point in thinking like that. It's the. So for me it's again. It's just that whatever you have done be OK with it, but then decide, am I gonna do the same the next day, the next day and the next day?
::That kind of.
::I totally agree. Yeah. Yeah. And I love that.
::Think that giving yourself forgiveness for everything is always a better a better solution for moving forward and changing things and and compassion. And of course I understand why I did that. Like you know, we have a a primitive brain, we have a normal brain. We're we're human. Of course we're gonna do things, those things.
::Of course, you know it's not a problem. And then deciding again, OK, what what do we want to try next time? Yeah. And I thinking ourselves up.
::Yeah, I think so, because you know, scrolling on social media might give you some freedom for a while. I mean, you know, my stretch there was.
::They check in with what you're actually what listening to and watching and absorbing. Some of it is not always good for us, but if you do it, and if that's how you sort of switch off and you relax, then do it and do it happily. But then if you know it isn't working for you but you're still doing it, that's your time to think, OK? This is, I'm coming off this feeling rubbish.
::So that's when I need to make.
::A little change.
::Yeah. And I think part of that is really tuning into yourself. Like I I will never dictate what people should be doing well, how many hours people should be working like it's totally up to the.
::Individual it really is about finding what works for you. I know for me like 10 minutes of scrolling through funny dog videos or whatever is is great. It gives.
::Me a giggle.
::I I like. I feel good.
::About it.
::If I'm in, however, like you know, feeling overwhelmed and in work mode, and I'm supposed to be working, and I find myself scrolling through.
::Instagram I tend not to see the dog videos in that moment. I tend to see, you know, posts from other people or which remind me of stuff that I should be doing and all the rest of it I go into, compare and despair.
::And I at the end of it, I feel rubbish. And so I actually know that scrolling, you know, during the day is not ever good for me. And I I can check in with myself and and recognise that. So then I will do my best to avoid it, but again, not beat myself up if that's what happens. But just try to put in place strategies that help me not do that. But yeah, if that is your like.
::I love scrolling for half an hour after I've, you know, sent all.
::My emails out.
::Or whatever. Totally do you?
::Do you like you get?
::To decide what works and you want to.
::Yeah, I think that's a really good point. And I think the other thing that springs to our mind when you were talking there, Kirsty, is about finding what works for you. Because what what works for one doesn't necessarily work for another. You might hear somebody else doing something and think ohh I could try it.
::See if it works for you, but I think you know, for me, it's all of this is when do you work? At your best, is it? Morning, afternoon. Evening. Fitting around that as best you can. I mean, obviously a lot of people who are self-employed can choose the hours that they want. But they end up probably usually working a lot more.
::But then we've still got all the employed people who I know there's lots of people listening to this podcast who work for a business and they've got that balancing acts sometimes to do and how they do it. I I was looking in the business last week and one of the guys said that he does not think about work the minute he walks away from his.
::Job. If his friends are all chatting about work, he doesn't want to talk about his work at all, and he's literally got this. It sounds like like a.
::Complete. I've never heard. I've never, ever known anybody to be able to do it. They.
::Just said I won't do it. I just won't. I won't.
::About it, I won't think about it until I come in the next morning and then I'm so on and I'm here and I do what I'm doing. So in a way he's he's got that thing that we've just been talking about going really well.
::I love it. Yeah, we.
::We'll need to we all need to.
::Follow in his shoes. He he's.
::Nailed it. Doesn't he just? I don't think I don't know whether much of us, many of us, would be able to do what he does. So I certainly would struggle with that. But for me, there is just something around being conscious, as you said, about your choices and about your house and you went.
::And I think the other thing that we have touched on is finding that thing that works for you, so.
::Going for a walk might be for some people.
::It could be being creative. That's your space.
::But one of.
::The things I see, and I'm sure you do.
::As well, Kirsty is when people.
::Know what is good for them, that for them individually and then they know that they're not doing it.
::That so often is the reason why you don't feel good. It's not actually all the other things that you're trying to do. It's the fact that you haven't found the time to.
::Cook or make or get out into nature, or go swimming or whatever your thing is, and particularly creative people of which we all are. But there are some that are very creative, and if they're not tapping into that creativity.
::Their balance is out.
::Yeah, I totally agree with that. And I think I found that for myself actually at the beginning of this year, I I realised that I had shut down because I had other businesses aside from my coaching business, I had the glamping business, but I also used to do property development and project management on.
::Construction and at the time when I was going into coaching, I thought ohh God, I've got too many balls to juggle here and one of the things that I advocate for is streamlining and simplifying, you know. And so I really did sort of hack back all the things that I I so that I could focus just on my coaching business. But what I ended up stripping out was an aspect of.
::Property development that actually is creative for me and I really enjoy. And one of the my realisations this year has been like I'm I don't feel as fulfilled as I did before.
::And so sometimes there is that, you know, that sort of justice position of trying to not have too many things that you're taking on, but also not stripping out, you know, the things that feel really good to you and making time for them. So even though it takes up time, it's worth, you know, if you know yourself and you know what you enjoy.
::And you know what fills you up? It's always worth making time for that. And I was thinking about that even this morning. I like I I went out for a dog walk. I would do that every morning, every afternoon.
::And even though even when I'm rushed for time, I will obviously have a dog. So it's kind of forces me to do because I need to go out. But it's. I'm so grateful for that because I have to do it. And by taking out half an hour doesn't matter what kind.
::Of a funk. I'm in.
::When I leave, I'm always feel better. I'm always more productive, more focused, more.
::Clear headed more. You know, I have more joy when I come back. So some things that take time actually create more time. We just don't realise it. So even if it doesn't look like it's creating more time.
::Does by filling you up? So I love that you mentioned that because I definitely think that, yeah, if you know that there are some things that you need to help you function at your best or just feel good cause this whole you know life should be more enjoyable. And so if there's things that you can do that you know make you feel better make the time.
::All those things, and that's really more more of the balance that we're looking for. It's not necessarily like X number of hours working and X number of.
::Hours watching TV.
::Me like it could be, you know, way more hours working, but an aspect of the working is that creative part or it could be, you know, less TV and you're doing this other project that fills your evenings up. But it feels really good to you and that's that's the balance that you want.
::I think.
::I think so. I think that's where the the the Gen or the glue is in in this thing that we're talking about here with life work balance because if you what I often say to busy people, you know they'll say I haven't got time for lunch or I haven't got time to walk my dog at 4:00.
::But actually, if you do pause for lunch, go and take your dog for a walk, I almost can guarantee, and it's a big guarantee here, but I can almost guarantee, as you've just described, Kirsty, you feel better, you feel refreshed, you've cleared a bit of whatever it might be. So I'm often saying.
::To, you know, reminding people to to literally take that little bit of time it it's never gonna be hours. What we actually just have is that hang on a minute. Let's just pause. I mean, it's almost.
::Like a cup, a proper cup of tea. Sometimes when we're busy, we make a cup of tea. We don't really drink it properly.
::Right.
::It it goes cold and actually if you just sat and drank that cup of tea like you do when you go to a coffee shop with your friend and you sit and you actually drink the hot coffee in your hand, and even just that can just clear and help your mind so, so much. And then guess what?
::More productive, you actually might have some idea generation. You might have some good stuff, so having the courage I use this way.
::Really, purposefully in business, I say to businesses, you know, if you've got the courage to take that time out even in the day, even if you dare in the day, you will.
::Gain later.
::I love that you that you say that and I love that you call it courage because I I totally see that for myself it it really can be very scary to pause and take a break.
::And and that's one of the reasons why I first found personal development, because I didn't have the courage really to hire someone to take a load off from me. And actually it is, you know, you do require courage to take that gamble to. Yeah. To even to say to someone. I'm not gonna finish that thing by today. Like I need to take a break.
::That that might might be something that you have to be courageous about.
::But if you can do that in little baby steps to build up more and more courage than you, yet you will be able to take more and more time out and and you'll begin to establish a a balance for yourself that is sustainable, because I think that's one of the things that we all need to be working towards and that not many of us.
::Well, because what happens is we burn out at the end of several years of hustling is that if we can just create a balance, that means that we enjoy our lives and we're topped up and we're healthy and it's sustainable. We can go for way longer and that's.
::Really the goal?
::I always think if we could run a week.
::So ourselves and then within the same week, so rewind. And then the same week, but have the courage to take little pockets of time during the day or a proper evening doing something yourself.
::That you love.
::And then see how productive you are. If you could literally run the same thing and and be able to measure how productive you are. That's why I know I can say because I can say it for myself.
::When I do that, if I look after myself well, I mean, I've also got a new puppy and he's creating that space for me because I was working till seven 8:00 at night sometimes and now.
::I do stop.
::At 4:00-ish or whatever time, take him out and night. I might work a little bit more in the evening, but at least I've had that time and.
::I'm probably fresher.
::Better, but I would love if we could. You know, if we could time.
::Time capsule and be able to just see how much more productive you are. I mean, I I suppose we could all sort of measure it, couldn't we? Maybe that's a good thing for us all to do is to actually see do you get more work done? Do you get a better quality of work, has other less errors in your work if you've had?
::The better.
::Yeah, yeah, for sure, I.
::Think that would, I think.
::That would definitely help with getting people on board with the idea initially, because it it almost takes away some of the fear around. But I'm not gonna get stuff done and and the one thing I like to think about is the fact that the the Pomodoro method, which is, you know, well known for just helping you focus and get more stuff done.
::Is built on 25 minutes working 5.
::Minutes off like we are not designed to work for six hours straight. You know, we we just can't. We can't wait for three hours straight or even 2 hours straight. So actually building in little increments of rest are is the way to be more productive. Otherwise that that method wouldn't have even ever been, you know, suggested.
::It's like.
::So I think that remembering that and thinking OK like actually this, this could be the best.
::Way for me.
::To be more productive and and also I think that you're more intentional and I think that that is one of the keys to being more productive is is really being mindful and intentional with OK, this is what I got to get done in this amount of time.
::This is I have all day to do it, you know, Parkinson's law. The task will just expand to fill the time given. And so it being more intentional with your brakes helps you being more.
::Intentional with your.
::Work in between those brakes. Well, actually, you do get more done.
::Yeah, I love that. And you know what else things to my mind when? When.
::You describe that is if if.
::We did use something like the Pomodoro.
:: Just like, say,: ::Another trap that we all fall into is we don't pause to say, hey, well done. Me. I got that piece finished. We just move on to the next and the next and the next. And and again I hear this in business so often where people are not almost celebrating just the small wins they because they're too busy on, they will have still got all this to do.
::Possibly and yes, you look back on the end of your day and you think, well, I've done loads. And I always remind people when we were in school, we got feedback for every single thing that we did. So for however many years, we all went to school.
::We, our brains, got used to having. Yep. Well done that sport. You did that. You finished that, you finished it and then we become adults. And don't do it.
::Right. Absolutely. Well, I'm in school. I mean, although the school system probably isn't the best for kids like development wise, I think that they did factor in breaks.
::You had a break.
::Mid morning you did like 2 hours and then you had a 20 minute.
::Break and then you did another hour or two and then you had a proper lunch break and then he did a couple more hours and then he went home for the exactly, you know, and also even within that it was very much like like, this is the task that we're focused on, like we're in maths now we're doing maths.
::For an hour and then.
::Even if you haven't finished the maths, it's OK we're we're stopping here. We're moving to science.
::And I think that if we, if we actually took that approach into our businesses and into our careers, we would feel like ohh, we are moving the needle on more things. I think that one of the things that we tend to do is is try to like even juggle like 20 things at the same time. So it's almost like being in the math class.
::Getting out your science book and your history book and your geography book at the same time and spending 5 minutes on each. That's also not.
::Very helpful, but.
::All sitting in maths all day and getting really bored of maths. It's like I think that we do that to ourselves. We don't look at ways that really work well for us in how we work and one of those you already mentioned is like when do I work?
::Best is it morning or evening or afternoon or whatever. But then within that, you know it. Do I need a change of, you know, subject every hour or do I need to give myself a limit? Do I need to pat myself on the back? I think that yeah, building that in almost as if you're your own.
::And, you know classroom facilitator would be a much better way of managing ourselves than how we currently do it.
::Yeah, I love that.
::One of my little hacks that I used to do sometimes do probably still now is if I've got a job to do and this this would relate better for self-employed people possibly than employees, but it's still useful so I've got a job that I'm don't really enjoy doing and I'm probably going to fuss about.
::Let's be truthful.
::I pretend or I used to pretend that if I was employing myself to do this, so I can either do it as a reflective piece so I can look back and think, well, would I be happy.
::To pay myself.
::For that hour was I. Did I produce something decent? So quite often it was.
::Like ohh no or
::If I was projecting forward, think OK, if I was employing myself to do this now.
::Get on.
::With it.
::Let's get on with it and almost sort of imagining that you are your own admin assistant or your own kind of person, that so you say I've gotta get it done and I need to get it done in this time.
::Because if you.
::Are and you know equally if you are employing people you know you want to, you will want to know what what they are getting done or if you are outsourcing, which I know is something you.
::Touched on early.
::Yeah, you'll want to know what they are doing, but we don't often do that for ourselves on our jobs that are least favourably. But in it from a brain perspective, of course you can do that because your mind doesn't know the difference between something that's real and not so you can play with that sort of idea of saying right, I've got these, I've got my.
::Books to do or something I.
::Now I'm going to pretend that I'm going to pay myself.
::To get these.
::Done, I bet.
::You in some instances you will get them done.
::I think that's a great. I I think that's a great little hack and it could actually work if you're in a career as well. Like if you if you're actually at the beginning of sitting down and at your desk, think right, it's will my boss be happy a bit. And this out with what I've produced. Yeah, it it totally changes our mindset around it.
::And I think that when you're in a work situation, you know where you do have a boss, the tendency is to think ohh well, I'm being paid per hour and or whatever. You know I'm here till the end of the day. So it doesn't really matter.
::But then you're not getting the the break that you need. The rest that you need. It's actually better probably to blitz through and then take a proper break knowing you've done the the task. You know, you can always argue that in your boss's office if.
::They're like, well, what?
::What? What are you doing for the second hour? Well, I worked so hard that I got it done in the first hour, so I I could take a proper break. Yeah, I think that we don't.
::Advocate for ourselves in those situations very well, yeah, to to basically work the best way that we can in the hours that we're working and then give ourselves a break.
::I think with that sort of strategy in mind.
::Often, jobs in our heads we create into something that's way bigger, so a task.
::A task is is way bigger, way more complicated, way more difficult, which again is all part of the imbalance in in what we're doing. We might overestimate how long something's gonna take or underestimate, or it's only going to take me 5 minutes and clearly it's.
::Not it's a good.
::It's a good piece.
::Of work.
::So again, for me it's having the awareness of these kind of patterns and if you know that you are a shocker for underestimating something, be careful because that will cause you a lot of stress and a lot of anxiety or the opposite if you imagine that it's a terrible job and it's going to be so, so difficult to do.
::And actually, quite often when people do.
::Do that and then they get.
::On with it, it's never as.
::Bad, right? Yeah, I totally agree. I I I did that once with that my dishwasher just because I was obsessed with time and figuring out how, how I could fit things in. I guess the dishwasher is one of.
::Those things like it's.
::Done. Oh, I don't have time, you know. I'll do it later.
::It was just one of those things, like in my head.
::Think it would take me like 10 or 15 minutes to do. I don't know why, but I obviously thought it was like a.
::Bob and then I timed myself doing it once and it took me two minutes, like two whole minutes went from when I set the timer and I emptied.
::The whole thing.
::And I was like.
::Huh, that doesn't take me long.
::At all. So I can always fit it in pretty much like you boil the Col and empty the dishwasher and I I just recognised then that pattern showed up for me in other areas, so I.
::Love that you said that.
::And and then also the reverse is true. Yeah, like some things I'll massively underestimate. And then through the process of awareness and checking in.
::Even if it's like leaving the house like, I think that I've given myself enough time to get ready and leave, and then I I I always add on like an extra 15 minutes cause I'm like, yeah, I'm probably not gonna be quite ready. And then it it will work out just right. So just knowing your own tendencies and then and then, you know, work like hacking them so that you can actually.
::Work with you rather than against you, I think.
::It's a great.
::Yeah, I think that's the the overall message really, isn't it, of everything we've talked about is finding what's right for you and then finding within that little hacks or little strategies, little tools that you can then make.
::This thing, which is to call time which is called balance and and make it kind of work for you in terms of your energy in terms of what you've got to give, who you're giving it to. I mean quite a lot. Quite often I talk about you know giving your time and energy away to other people, which causes us a real imbalance not.
::Not that we don't want to be helpful friends or helpful family members or helpful colleague.
::But we need to be careful. There's so many different things that can cause us a problem in that department.
::I agree. I agree. I think, yeah, I.
::Have been a.
::People pleaser in the past, and sometimes I still catch myself. But yeah, you definitely do want to have a a, A look over all the commitments that you've made and all the things that are going on in your week and how many of those.
::Things you're doing for other people.
::And whether or not that is actually aligned with your values or whether or.
::Not it is just.
::You saying yes or over giving to avoid feeling something about yourself.
::Yeah, definitely. So awareness is is one of our biggest tools that we have got. So lots of things, but definitely when you're looking at balancing your commitments in life.
::Whether they are your work life or your family and versus you because that's another challenge, isn't it, where people can feel like they're giving so much to their family, but nothing left for themselves, which I think we can identify, can be more for women but not and not necessarily.
::So yeah, I think it's it's just good these, I love these conversations because it just helps us all remember.
::We're all in this together, but also there are so many little things that you can do and just do them slightly differently, which can change up the whole outcome that you expect to get.
::Absolutely. Is there one more thing that you've got Kirsty for us? Before we finish, you've got one of your favourite little.
::Things that you like to talk about.
::Just one little exercise that I would always recommend as a starting point if you're looking at, you know, if you. If you feel like you don't have work life balance right now, it is to just do a time audit and it sounds big and scary, but it can be really, really simple and that is literally just.
::Every half an hour.
::Had jot down on a piece of paper what you spent the last half an hour doing and if you could do that for a whole day, maybe even more like the longer you can do it, the better you'll identify patterns within yourself that will help you create awareness.
::Around where your time is going, where your lack of balance is when you work best when you don't, when you're dossing around, you know under underestimating, overestimating that all comes out in the wash when you do that little little tiny exercise that doesn't take any effort at all. It's literally just drop down. OK, I'll spend the last half an hour emails, you know.
::Or half an hour fanning around looking for something, you know, whatever it is.
::If you do that as a.
::Starting point you can.
::See quite clearly.
::Usually there will be like two or three things that if you work on like you don't have to perfect the whole week, it doesn't have to be. You know, we don't have to be robots here, but there will be a couple of things that are major time sucks or, you know, major time drains or that really aren't working well for you right now. And that's where you want to start wherever.
::You know in your business, in your career and your personal life, that's where you want to start looking for tools and strategies and once you've.
::Defied this is a problem. This is the thing I think This is why I'm doing this thing. So yeah, that's just.
::25.
::A first thing.
::No, I think that's really good. I think like you say that plays to the to more than just awareness because you've actually got evidence for yourself that you can see the pattern. So I think that's a brilliant shout and yeah, hopefully some people will.
::OK.
::Have a little think about doing that for them.
::Amazing. Well, thank you for having me.
::The AH, thank you so much for coming on.
::It's been brilliant.
::I've loved our conversation and I know that so many things that we could talk about and I'm sure we can have you back again. Kirsty, cause I think we've got other things.
::That we can hold in on, but hopefully that's given everyone something for them to think about, so.
::Thank you so much.
::You're very welcome.
::And interestingly, in next week's episode, we are going to actually focus on burnout. I've got a burnout expert, Keandra Ware. She's over in the states. So I hope you can TuneIn then.
::Thank you for listening and sharing in this episode of Mental Wealth. Remember, you can subscribe wherever you get your podcast. My last question to you is what is the one small thing that you can take action on from this episode? Message me on Instagram or through our website with questions you'd like me to explore.
::We'll find the link.
::Show notes.
::I'll be back with more tools and tips to make sense of your mind in the next step.
::Of the in.
::The meantime, be kind to yourself. Bye for now.
