Listen in to this special episode that I recorded live at the event, Podapalooza as four entrepreneurs share their expertise and insights.

Plus, I’ve got an amazing gift for you! Sign up for my FREE resource library it’s a full vault of resources for coaches. It’s called The Coaches Online Business Academy. https://stepintosuccessnow.com/pages/free

Featured on The Show: 

Mary Sloane:

Mary is a passionate speaker about how and why authors, speakers, and coaches with programs need to become Influential Influencers in their Space.

https://www.linkedin.com/in/mary-k-sloane/

Janelle Anderson:

Janelle is a Confidence Coach for women business owners and leaders helping them embrace their greatness and know their immense value so they can fully show up, stand up, and speak up in fearless confidence!

https://www.emerginglifecoaching.com/

Diann Alexander:

Diann is a Voice Teacher, Confidence Catalyst, Energy Codes® Certified Master Trainer, Amazon best-selling author, Leverage Your Expertise, and creator of Stage Confidence: Nervous to Noteworthy in 6 Weeks.

https://diannalexander.com/

Steve Lowell:

Steve is an award-winning, global speaker. For over 30 years, he has been training and mentoring executives, thought-leaders, and professional speakers worldwide to deliver high-impact keynote speeches, drive revenue from the platform, and build wealth through speaking.

Coaches Online Business Academy – a free resource library

Click here to learn how to apply to work with me

Hey welcome to sheet coaches coaches, I'm your

host Kandi motsek. And I'm going to help you find the clarity,

confidence and courage to become the coach that you are meant to

be. If you're a new coach, or if you've always wanted to be a

life coach, then this is the place for you. We're going to

talk all about mindset and strategies and how to because

step by step only works when you have the clarity, courage and

confidence to take action. Let's get started.

Hello, everyone, and welcome to this episode of she coaches

coaches. Today is a special episode. It is packed jam packed

with four different guests. Yes, four people, each of them

completely unique, each of them with a completely different

business. Now, these are all interviews that I did on the one

day event called PATA palooza. I met so many interesting people,

I learned so much, and it was refreshing, invigorating.

There's nothing like getting together with a bunch of heart

centered entrepreneurs and having great conversations. So

here are four different people. Each of them, they get a brief

introduction, we talk a little bit about their business and

their approach, and then we wrap it up. Now if you look at the

Episode notes, you are going to see each of those people, the

ways of getting a hold of them, the ways of finding out more

about what they do. I hope you enjoy this episode as much as I

did creating it. And welcome to this episode of she coaches

coaches, I am so pleased to welcome a guest today. I'm going

to tell you a little bit about her. Now, here's the fun thing.

This is one of this series of interviews that I'm doing part

of a one day event called PATA palooza. And I have met some of

the most amazing heart centered entrepreneurs, and this woman is

no exception. So let me tell you a little bit about her. Her name

is Diane Alexander. She is a voice teacher, a confidence

Catalyst, and energy codes certified master trainer, Best

Selling Author, she has just done everything. She's got such

a wealth of knowledge. And let me read this to you. She

empowers speakers, presenters and coaches to freely

communicate their heartfelt message with confidence and

authenticity. Diane, I'm so glad you're here.

I am delighted to be here to Kennedy, I think

we have a lot of things in common. And it's my great

pleasure and actually joy to be able to assist people to do

things that they didn't think that they could do. And when

they do it, their eyes get so big their hearts up and up. I

mean, that's like heaven for me.

Yeah, yeah, I hear you. So I know you showed me

already. Just as before we started recording that you've

got your singing bowls here. So tell me about them. Tell me

about what you do how you work with people. Just I want to know

what all Oh,

boy. Well, let's see, where shall we start?

I know where we'll start. Let's start with the confidence piece.

I like to go when right where the people get stuck the most,

which is if you're getting ready to have an interview or a

conversation that's a little scary, where you're getting

ready to put your toe on the stage. And things are a little

bit nervous about it. Something takes over sometimes from the

stage fright, which is the fight flight and fright response and

your neck tightens up and your chest goes down and the energy

goes to your lips so that you can either run away as fast as

you can, or put up your nukes, or hi please don't see me one or

the other. None of them are going to help you get your job

done. That's true. But there's a couple of little hacks that we

can do to in that moment. Turn it around so you can only you

only have to deal with that for a moment. So first, let's prove

this to yourself. Time new neck you know your neck goes up into

your head as tight as you can really get a tight knot. Try and

inhale. It's really hard. Now do the opposite. Bobble your head,

like those little bobble dolls people put on their dashboards.

Yeah, with the hip bubbling put your hands on your belly and

inhale through your nose. Notice it's way easier to get a deep

breath. And when you have loosened the joint you've

started to unlock The fight and flight response. So the trapdoor

that shut you into a mute emergency mode now opens back up

to creativity and connection. And when you breathe through

your nose down into your belly, that activates the

parasympathetic nervous system, which brings you back grounded,

brings you back to the place of oh, here I am. I'm back. There

are two other tools that I think I'm going to jump to one you

asked about, because it's one of my favorites. Okay. Quartz

crystal has long been used in electronics for decades, because

it has such an even vibration that can depend on it for

signals. We are also crystal in mostly water, it's crystal. And

when we have a day where something's gone wrong or

doesn't feel right, or our vibrations are a little wonky,

they want to be even they want to be home. So when it's very

much like when you go into a room and someone said a terrific

mood, you want to go over there because they make you feel

better. Or if somebody comes in is grumpy, you kind of don't

think I want to go over there. But we feel it and in the same

way that when we're a little bit off, we want to go toward

normalcy. These beautiful crystal balls have the ability

to bring us back to even so I'd like to give you an experience

of them. earphones are good if you're on Zoom. But just notice

in your body what you're feeling right now. Is there anything

tight? Is there anything lumpy? Is there anything spacey just

notice where it is? And then this your journey? No right now

are on notice. Does this make a difference to center? Do you not

center? Does it irritate you? Does it calm you? Where do you

feel in your body? Sorry

the last little end of the sound lovely.

I know I hate to stop them. I want to stay

quiet until the very end. Do you notice any change in energy? Or?

Uh, yeah,

always. And so, you know, for the listeners, I

was sharing with Diana at the beginning of our conversation

that it's been a busy day. And I was feeling kind of spacey. And

so I would did some EFT tapping beforehand. But since then I've

talked to three more people. And so just that in that instant of

the sound of the bowl, suddenly, everything just moved back into

that whole peaceful feeling. It's amazing how fast it moves

and how fast we can change. And and I have to highlight that,

yeah, you had a little bit of a bubble, you kind of clink the

bowl and not, you know, but it's okay. It just it actually, you

know, in some ways, it's perfect, because we can see how

fast we can go into that place where we decide that we feel

good. And we can feel it resonating in our body. And we

can see how fast we can shift right? Like for us to notice

that is an amazing thing to know that we have so much more

capability than we might normally give ourselves credit

for. Ah, I love that. And I can still feel I can still feel the

sound. Oh, that's so cool. Wow. So totally how I work with

people, I want to hear all about it.

It's fun. I have all manner of things. I

work with people summer one on one summer, or I have a core

stage confidence nervous to Oregon six weeks, in which there

are things that we study, but then you have the actual

practice because it doesn't do any good in theory if you can't

actually do it. And then there's practice places where you can

work with it. And there are physical I took you through two

physical things that we do there. mental, emotional and

energetic. The sound for me goes through energetic at what if I

there's one more favorite one about shifting energy because

people don't think about it too much. But when I was a church

soloist, I was the alto, Fred was the tenor. And good Fred

would walk walk out on the pulpit where he was gonna go

sing with his big choir room floaty. You could hear a pin

drop. Everybody loved Fred. And you know, I was a fairly young

singer just in college. And I said, Fred, how do you do that?

What do you do? They just love you. And he said, I send them

all love. I look at each out of each and every one of them. And

I send them all love, and talk about pivotal things. That was

really pivotal. Because my whole life had been here, I gotta give

you what you want, I gotta give you what you want, I gotta give

you what you want. And he didn't, it wasn't here, please

like me, please like me, it was, I'm gonna send you love. I'm

gonna send you love. And it was uncanny how the minute I came

out and did that for the first time, you could feel the energy

coming back from the people in my congregation, you could just

feel that cycle of energy. And in that moment, everything

shifted. So that's another quick thing you can do when you're

nervous worrying about you send them love, even even at a

difficult conversation you're going into, they're doing the

best they can be, we're all doing the best we can. But these

short little tools that we can use, I like to start with those,

then we can work on the longer tools conference muscle, because

it's like anything, it's a skill, it's a habit. You know,

we just have so much fun, my backgrounds in theater and music

and energy. And we have just so much fun. Because the Don't you

find through play, we get a lot farther, because Oh, I'm not

good enough monster Shut up.

You know what's so neat, Diane, is that I teach a

lot about confidence too. And it's nice to hear you describe

the three F's, as well, I talk about the three F's, I actually

add a fourth, but that's not neither here nor there. But what

I think is really important is that the people who listen to

this podcast, you might have heard me talk about this. But

now you've heard it in a different way. And it's going to

impact you in a different way as well. You know, the same truths

about living in a body and how our body reacts when it

experiences something that it considers stressful or

dangerous. It's good to know that but if you don't do it,

which is just exactly what you were saying. And you don't

practice it, you don't notice the difference. And then the

second thing that just I love this these little

synchronicities that we've experienced today, I have a

secret that I share with all my one on one clients. And I tell

them that the one of the most important ways the most

important things that they can do, as they're building their

one on one practice is when they're sitting on a console

with somebody, and they just love them. They just look at

their face, and they love them, and they listen to them. And it

is like to be validated to be seen to be heard is so important

for people. And even if that person never decides to be your

client, to know that they had five minutes even of being fully

seen and loved and heard. It can change the trajectory of their

life. So I just I'm so thrilled that you shared that with us

because it was like, yes, that's exactly the kind of stuff that I

talk about. It's so cool. And your way of saying it different

than my way of saying it. And there's just there's so much

possibility for us, right. So it's been brief, but it's time

for us to draw our time to a close the people who are

listening, there's going to be people who say, Ah, this, Diane,

I have to find out more about her. How can they find out more

about you? Where can they get in touch with you? Where can they

see the kinds of things that you do?

Well, the easiest way is to email Diane D

I A N N No II alexan at Diane alexander.com, which is also my

website, Diana alexandra.com. And later if you'd like I'll

give you some links for two special gifts. And one is a PDF

of the details on doing a really radiant performance. It's five

off stage stage keys to onstage radiance. And if you follow

them, it's in the details that really make it excellence. And I

think I'll throw in a link for sound bath for your people. It's

a recording of these beautiful babies. So just put it on your

iPhone or something and when you're getting ready to go on to

speech or something you can take it loosen your neck, take your

nice deep breath and listen to your sandwich and go in center.

Sending them love of course.

Yeah. Diane, it's been amazing. I think we've only

been speaking for about 10 or 12 minutes and you should aired two

physical ways. You've given us a demonstration of the power of

healing sound and the crystal bowls. You've given us an

explanation about our fight and flight. You've covered so much

in such a short time. And I love it. So thank you so much for

joining listeners, you're going to be able to click through to

those episode notes. You'll see Diane's email and a link to her

website there as well. And also some information about how you

can access those free gifts that she's offering. Diane, thank you

so much. Again, it's been a pleasure. And I will talk to

everyone next week. Bye bye. Hi friends and welcome to Chic

coaches coaches. I am interviewing a most remarkable

woman today. This is part of the series of interviews that I'm

doing as part of PATA palooza. Now, if you guys have been

listening to my podcast for a while, you're going to have

heard some of these. We did these interviews on March the

fifth 2022. And every conversation, every interview

that I've had has been so different, and so magical, so

I'm so pleased to share them with you. Now, let me tell you

about this particular guest. Her name is Janelle Anderson, and

she is a confidence coach for women, business owners and

leaders. And she helps them to embrace their grace and their

greatness and know the immense value that they have. This is so

they can fully show up, they can stand up and speak up in

fearless confidence. She discovered a path of deep

healing and transformation in her mid 50s. And enabled her to

finally break off the shame that had held her hostage from a

deeply traumatic past. And since then, her newly released book,

take center stage, his out on Amazon. I am so looking forward

to this conversation with her. And I want her to tell us all

about the book and it looks like I need to give me just a second

here. We're just gonna leave this in because this is the kind

of interview it is it's a casual conversation. Let me tell you

this title again. So you can go to Amazon and check it out.

Okay, take center stage, be the star of your own story. And the

author is the woman that I'm introducing right now Janelle

Anderson. Hey, Janelle, I'm so pleased to have you here on the

podcast.

Hey, candy, I am super excited to be here with

you.

So tell me about this book, tell me what is here.

This book was incubated. I have to say over

about four years, it asked me for four years to write it

basically, actually probably longer. But it took me four

years. It is partly my story. From over my journey, I should

say from a timid, traumatized woman who really was shut down,

didn't realize that though, I never thought of myself as

having been through trauma. It was just something I had done.

And so it was all my fault. And so I'd carried around this load

of shame for years and years, 30 years 30 plus. And when I

finally unpacked all of that, and processed through all of it,

I always say it was like the real me began to emerge out from

behind, behind the curtain out onto center stage. I sat there

one day, as I was thinking about my book, and in the middle of

writing it and I sat there one day thinking, I feel like I'm

taking center stage of my own life for the first time ever.

And I was 60 Something I mean, I was by the time I wrote the

book. So that realization was amazing. And I thought I

actually love who I am now. And I actually know who I am. And I

can come out on center stage, and just say here, I am not

ashamed, unapologetic, and just really happy with who I am. So

that journey was so powerful that I had to put it in a book.

And when I looked back through the years of journaling, I've

been journaling for 30 Some years through through this whole

time in my life from the time I was in my 20s When all this

stuff happened to in my 50s when I began to just wake up and be

aware and I was reading through years of journaling, seeing this

path, this journey of coming into my own and overcoming a lot

of things that had held me back and didn't and I didn't realize

it and coming out from behind that curtain and saying here I

am and really loving who I am and so out of that emerged this

what I call the star process, because I could identify phases

that I was going through that I had gone through. And so that is

what the book follows. It follows that journey. Each

chapter begins with one of my journal excerpts, and a quote

and a scripture. So it kind of sets everyone up for that

chapter, each of those four phases is kind of lined out. And

there's a workbook that goes with it. So anybody reading it

can kind of they can really embark on their own journey, and

do these exercises and begin to unveil their true selves as

well. And by the end of it, hopefully, they're out on center

stage of their own life as the star of their own story. So it's

part of my story, it's part self improvement, it's part spiritual

wisdom, it's part practical advice or guidance, all mixed

into one.

Amazing, that sounds so cool. And I liked that

there's a workbook to go through there. If you can see the wall

behind me, you can just see some of the journals that I've been

writing in, I go through about one of them once a month. So, so

amazing to think that you've been journaling for so many

years, and that, like, you know that your true self, your higher

self, was actually writing this book all along. And, you know,

putting those little breadcrumbs in place that you can take all

of this knowledge that you've gained and create such amazing

work about event. Can you tell us a little bit about the STAR

method that you mentioned?

Sure. So S stands for stir up your soul.

And at the beginning of my I call it my waking up, I was in

my mid 50s, when I was really jarred awake. Because I

realized, holy cow 57 years just went by really fast. And I'm not

happy, I feel stuck. I'm not fulfilled, what am I going to

do? I need to do something. Now. It was this urgency. And it's

like, you know, when you're in a deep sleep, and your alarm goes

off, and you're like, just like, awake, and you're trying to

figure out where you are. That's what it felt like. And that set

me on this path. I decided in that moment, I'm going to find

out what it is. I am meant to do for the rest of my life. And I'm

going to pursue it I'm not going to let anything stop me or get

in my way. So when I began down that journey, I, the other part

of the stirring up your soul is saying yes. And I discovered

that I had been saying no to myself a lot. And so I began to

say yes, instead, yes, I'm going to pursue this yes, I'm going to

not settle anymore. And so then you're awake in the stirring up

of your soul. And you're starting to look at your life

and ask yourself those questions like, Who am I? And what am I

doing with my life? And where am I and what's happened to bring

me here, all those questions. And you began to really dig into

that. And for me, it brought me to the tee, which is tell

yourself the truth. So as I began to, like really look at

these things, that's when I realized, there's a lot in me

that's hidden away, stuffed away that I haven't dealt with that

I've tried to forget ever happened, but it's still

actually getting in my way. It's making me feel not very

confident. It's really affected my sense of self worth. And I

have avoided looking at all that stuff, because it's unpleasant.

And I really don't want to talk about it and look at it, but I

actually need to. And it was the best decision I ever made. So I

began to go through a process of just getting some counseling and

inner healing work. And just going back to the past that I

had tried to avoid unpacking it, talking about it. And seeing for

the first time that the shame that I had been carrying all

these years was really based on untruths, not truth, that there

was something wrong with me. And that's why I was drugged and

raped by some guy in college. And that's why I was trafficked

by my boyfriend, and all the other things that happened

because somehow I was defective. That had been a lie rooted in my

heart. So during this phase, I began to uproot a lot of those

lies and I began to challenge them and really begin to see the

truth for the first time ever, because I never thought I had

been raped. I thought it was my fault. I never thought of myself

as having been trafficked. I thought it was my fault. And

when that when I began to see all those things and just

literally lay on the floor and weep over that young woman

myself, whose youth had been basically stolen instead of

being ashamed of her, I began to embrace her with compassion. And

I began to see that even though it was hard, what I had gone

through was really hard it, it shaped me. And there were some

really good things I could take out of that it had strengthened

me and made me who I was. And I could take that and build on it.

And so that's a part of the truth telling, too. And there's

a whole chapter on forgiveness. Forgiveness is huge, and letting

go and really realizing that when you don't forgive you are

being held and attached to that event. And So forgiveness is for

you. So I went through all of that. And then, when I did that,

I began to realize that I was stepping up and speaking up in

places I never would have before I was coming out from behind the

curtain, I was like, feeling confident. And that's the A, and

that is like acceptance, you begin to accept who you are, for

all of you, all of you owning your story was huge for me.

I remember that being a huge realization that oh, that did

happen, and I need to own it. And so I've tried to ignore it.

And once I did, it began this process of really embracing

myself and loving who I am. And then that leads you into action.

So that's the second part of the A is action activation, I began

to do things, I began to take steps and try things and take a

chance and go for my dreams. Whereas before I never did. And

then that leads into the R, which is this full flow, it

stands for release the river, we have this river of our true

selves that flows, you know, you think of flow and power. And

Rivers, they, they carve out a path and they affect the

environment. And they bring life and there's this powerful flow.

And that's how it feels. Now that I'm in this place, it's

released its flow. It's the power of me being me. And so

that is the start process.

Easy. Janelle. I love that.

I do so cool. Yeah, it's all along, you know,

in that workbook, there are different things that I have in

there, and they're very self reflective. It's not something

you can rush through. It's meant for you to sit with it, and

meditate and spend some time. It's not like, oh, well, I'm

just gonna check off these boxes.

Right? Yeah. And I think that that's the thing with

our personal work, you know, we've all got different things

that we need to work through. But we're our society is so

like, hustle action oriented. And so we think that then we

should, you know, like you said, check the boxes hustled through

all this and be done with that. And, you know, like, wipe our

hands of it. But that's not how we clear and how we turn into

turn into ourselves, like turn inward into ourselves, and then

grow from there. So thank you for sharing that with us. This

amazing. So I wonder if I have any other questions for you

before we wrap up today? You know, I have no more questions.

I just feel so complete with how you described your star method.

And I know your book is amazing, and the workbook is gonna be

just the best thing to go with it as well. It has been such a

pleasure meeting with you. So anyone who is interested in

connecting with Janelle, Janelle, how can they get in

touch with you? Of course, they could go and get your book, but

how else can they get more into your world?

Well, they can visit my website which is

emerging life coaching.com And they can always email me Janelle

at emerging life. coaching.com.

That's amazing. So listeners, it's in the Episode

Notes, you can just click through, you can click right

through to her website. You could go and have a look at her

book. And just if this spoke to you, and you just know that

she's the kind of woman that you'd like to get to know a

little bit more, I highly encourage you to click through

and get to know her get into her world. Thank you so much for

joining me Janelle. It's been such a pleasure. I have an

interesting guest Her name is Mary Sloane. And I met her at

that amazing one day event called PATA palooza. Now, let me

tell you a little bit about Mary before we dive in. Mary is and

honestly she is a spark of light. I seen her at a couple of

events and I just she's the kind of person that just catches your

eye. She is a passionate speaker about how and why authors and

speakers and coaches need to become influencers in their

space. It allows them to naturally charge more make a

bigger difference as people listen to them differently, and

then actually follow along with them. Mary interviews people on

a live show that airs on Facebook, YouTube and LinkedIn,

and is ultimately posted to her podcast called the inspirational

influencer news, people making a difference. She is an

inspiration to other aging folks. And it comes naturally to

her. She's a senior, but she's not slowing down, not even a

little. And she is constantly giving, helping and generously

supporting others. She's essentially affectionately known

as the techie grandma, and she inspires others to step out of

their comfort zone and reach for their lofty goals, not stay in

that old comfort zone. Mary, welcome. I'm so pleased to see

you here. Tell me more about what you do.

Well, I loved the idea of being the techy grandma,

when somebody said that I'm like, watch, because, of course,

I'm challenged by tech just like everybody else. But I will go

conquer it, because Tech has to be at my whim, not at somebody

else's, because that's how I can make a difference. And I, I'm

here on earth to make a difference, you know, not just

to kind of live. And I think that's really important. And

that's what I want to offer to other people, too, is the fact

that he doesn't matter. It's just a number, and I'm not. So I

am however I am. And if I can run circles around people, 10

years younger, 15 years younger, that's okay, by me. I work at

it. I mean, there's things you have to do, you have to stay

active, you have to stay connected, you have to stay up

on what's going on in the world, what's new, what's exciting. And

that's where I get my juice. And I think that that really can

help other people. Because they, when they realize what a

difference they really can make by daring to be an influencer.

So really, when you get out there, and you're willing to say

who you are, do what you do, make sure people actually

understand what it is that you do, and how you can help them

and you come across as really committed to helping them, then

all of a sudden, the world opens up. And, you know, I really like

to help people. I often say to people, well, when I sit in a

Zoom meeting, and don't we all live on Zoom. I have press logos

around me when I don't when I'm not on camera. So that

immediately tells people she's different. I love to show people

how they can have that difference making immediately,

and how that can follow through with them and make them stand

out in a crowd.

I've got a question about influencer, just

the word influencer? How would you define it?

I would define influencer as someone making a

difference in the world. And it's not a social media

influencer. As far as I'm concerned. That's a bad rap on

the word influencer. Because they have an audience that may

follow them or may not follow them. You go through what I

think are the bad parts of social media, where you garner a

following, not real connections. And I think the connection is

what's really important. And influencers, in my opinion,

really value the connections, they want people to like them by

being helpful, and being a system to others. And when

that's your modus operandi, the world gets easier because people

come to me.

Yeah, and I think that that's really interesting,

right? This. So this definition is, is different than a lot of

the common terms in online business. And this idea of

making an impact serving people going out to help people and

then creating a business because of the relationship and the

connections that you're making. And so, you know, when when you

said this piece about well, then if you've only got 200 followers

on LinkedIn, who's going to believe you but actually if you

could influence like, actually connect and support 200 people,

that's more than enough. What do you think?

Well, it's true, that's more than enough. But it

comes with a lot of people will reach out Want to connect with

you? And they do have something that they'd like to sell you.

Fair enough. That's it's a business platform. And they're

not really open all the time to something else. That doesn't

mean that I can't be friends with them. It doesn't mean I

can't connect with them. I made CS muddy, I can refer them to,

which is the whole purpose of LinkedIn in some respects is,

who are you? And how can I help you and who can I refer you to.

But there's a lot of fear around LinkedIn, I find in that people

expect to be sold to. And so there's that what you have to

overcome. And a lot of people that I connect with aren't

necessarily my ideal target audience. I'll see if I can help

them if I can great, if not their connection, and it adds to

their credibility.

Yeah, so a lot of the listeners that listen to

this program, are successful in their life, and now they're

transitioning into adding maybe a side business as a coach, or

maybe they're going to move into being a full time coach,

specifically with LinkedIn, and using your approach of

influence, what would you suggest are the first steps for

them to take?

Well, first of all, as a marketer, because that's my

background, and I've been marketing online for quite a

while, is message Market Match, you have to know who you are

speaking to. And you have to know what you are offering to

them. Because everybody that I talked to who's relatively new

to this whole world of online marketing, etc, goes, but I can

help everybody. And that's what we think. But people can't hear

that. Because if you have a message, and you go out there, I

can help everybody. And people don't know whether you can

really help them, there's a kind of disbelief about you can help

everybody you don't know me well enough is is the to know whether

or not you can help me. Whereas if I say, I help, you know,

coaches, authors, speakers, now they know who I'm talking to.

And especially when I add change makers, because I'm not helping

just everybody, I'm looking for people who really want to stand

out in the world, want to help make the world a better place.

And so that, of course, helps me find the right audience.

So knowing who you want to help, what exactly are

the kinds of things that you can help them with, and then using a

very clear message to make that connection so that they can

actually start creating that relationship, the beginning of a

building a little bit of trust, to create a further

relationship? Yeah, yeah. Oh, I hear you. Wow, we've covered a

lot. I really appreciate the time that you've spent, and I

know that my listeners are going to get a lot out of it. Because

so many of them are professionals, they definitely

have presence on LinkedIn. And so your guidance is really going

to be helpful. So people who have heard Mary, and if they

want to find out a little bit more about you, what is the best

way for them to get in touch? What is the best way to find out

more about you?

Sure. So it's linkedin.com forward slash i n

forward slash marry dash k dash Sloan. And that spelled s as in

Sam, L O A. N as in Nancy, E. And lots of times, swans now

become a first name and doesn't have any on it. But mine's a

last name and it has an E on it. Okay, awesome. Well,

very, thank you. This has been great. It was so

nice to meet you. And I know that there's lots of people that

could really use this these thoughts about creating

relationships to be influencing and be an influencer. And

specifically on LinkedIn. Thanks again for your time. And welcome

to she coaches coaches. So let me tell you a little bit about

Steve, Steve and I have just met like, five minutes ago, were

taking part in a really interesting event called PATA

palooza. And here is some of what you need to know about him.

So he is a Canadian, as EMI and he is an award winning global

speaker and he's been doing this for over 30 years. He trains and

mentor Here's executives, thought leaders and professional

speakers around the world. He's got all kinds of accolades and

letters behind his name. And you'll see them when you look at

the Episode notes. But I'm not going to tell you those now. I

think the most interesting thing is that he travels the world, or

at least he did before COVID. And together with his wife,

Jane, he travels the world they speak, they train, they mentor,

and they help those people that they connect with. And of

course, the people that that impacts through the spoken word.

So welcome. I'm so pleased that you're here. Tell me about the

kinds of things that you do.

Sure. So as you said, my wife, Jane and I were

traveling around the world, now we do it virtually. And we work

with a number of different groups. But primarily, here's

what we do is, you know, there's so many experts in this world

and coaches are a big part of this, you know, this candy is, a

lot of these coaches, they've got these great stories, this is

some of the reasons why they come into coaching, they got

great stories, and they got great experience, and they got

great wisdom, and they want to take all of these things. And

what they want to do is help people with what they've

learned. And they'll do that through podcasts and through

writing books and through speaking. And so what I do is I

help them craft a message because a lot of them really

have this massive story. And it needs to be condensed into a

message that is digestible through all the different

formats in which we share our messages. And so the primary

thing that I do is I help experts, coaches, teachers,

authors, entrepreneurs, help them craft the message that they

need to be received by their audience in a way that the

audience can receive it. So a lot of my clients have big

stories, big, catastrophic events that may have happened in

their lives, and they don't know how to craft and deliver those

stories. So my job is to help them learn to craft those

messages, position the audience so that the audience can receive

those messages well, and then deliver those, those messages.

And my clientele has gone from, you know, aspiring speakers to

award winning national, international professional

speakers and everything sort of in between. But it's sort of the

messaging that really is where we focus on my wife, Jane is a

mindset coach, she's known around the world as the seven

figure mindset mentor. So she helps people develop the mindset

and the belief system that they need to stand in front of an

audience live or virtual, and actually release what's inside

of them that they may have been holding back their whole lives.

Wow, that's amazing. I love that. What an

amazing partnership you have with your wife. So considering

that most of the people who listen to this podcast are

coaches, they're relatively new coaches, but they have

experienced being successful individuals in their own right,

what would be the first place that you would have them? Look,

the first thing that I would have them do is

look at how they're explaining what they do and who they are.

Because there are some patterns that I see in not just coaches,

a lot of entrepreneurs, but particularly coaches. And so

I'll ask them questions like, you know, if there were 10 of

you standing against the wall, why would I pick you? And there

are certain answers that come up all the time. And there are

answers like this, well, I've got a certain amount of

experience, or I've got certain amount of education, or I've

been there myself, you know, I have the experience that my

clients have, I give great customer service. And those are

very standard answers of differentiation. And the first

thing I help them to do is understand that those are not

differentiators. They might be selling features. But every

other coach on the planet that they speak to is going to give

some version of that same answer. So then they usually go

to their story, they'll say, Well, nobody has my story. And

and help them to understand that's true. Nobody has your

story. But most of the other coaches have a story. And so

they're claiming a story, which makes everybody kind of sound

the same. So I try and shift their belief systems around

differentiating themselves, and then help them understand that

there's a different way to differentiate without using the

same, you know, sales techniques, or the same sales

processes as everybody else. So that's the first thing. Because

if I don't give them that understanding first, then the

messaging usually sounds the same as everybody else's. So the

messaging has to be profoundly different from everybody else's,

what I tell them is, you know, you don't have to be different

from anybody else. You're a life coach, you don't have to be

different from any other life coach, but you do have to appear

to be different in order to stand out. So my job is to help

them appear to be different. So the first thing that has to

happen is they need to wrap their mind around that concept.

So appearing to be different. You know, and when I

think of coaches, you know, coaches, it's kind of an odd

name, coaching skills. Now there's an important thing. But

being a coach is sort of a weird, generic amorphous thing.

It is. So that's really interesting. So to look at

somebody's story, and then realize that getting hooked into

the story may not be the most effective way of approaching

that new client or approaching that new relationship. So what's

next? What would you do next with somebody Yeah,

so let me give you an example of where this would

go. And then I'll explain what we would do next after that. So

I'll give you this example that I use with audiences all over

the world and only take a minute. So what I do is I'll ask

an audience, I'll say, put up your hand, if you or somebody

you know, is in the market for a tennis instructor, you know,

say, put up your hand, and nobody's hand ever goes up. And

then I will say, you know, there's 100 people here, let's

say, I'm gonna say that 30 of you are either in the market for

a tennis instructor right now, or you know, somebody who is,

and then they're kind of thinking, well, how are you

going to show that? You know, so? So I say, let me tell you

about this guy named Brian, Brian came to me about 17 years

ago, he said, Steve, I'm, you know, I'm having a hard time

getting the business. I'm meeting the people, I'm talking

to them. I'm collecting the business cards going all in

meetings, I'm doing all these things. I'm not getting the

business I need. I said, Well, Brian, what do you do, he said,

I'm a tennis instructor. And we see what the market is for

tennis instructors and coaches do this very same thing. So we

taught Brian, this principle about you don't have to be

different, but you do after you appear to be different. And we

tell them that you appear to be different by changing the way

you think about your market, and changing the way you speak about

yourself. So if you saw Brian today, he would say something

like this, you said, Brian, what do you do, he would say

something like, Well, you know how sometimes kids have all this

energy, and they get, you know, they're bouncing off the walls,

and the parents get so frustrated, because they have no

idea what to do with these energetic kids, you'd say, well,

what I do is I take kids of any age, I bring them on a tennis

court. And I absolutely exhaust them. And then I hand it back to

their parents. I asked the audience, I put up your hand, if

you know somebody who might be in the market for a tennis

instructor, and all of a sudden, everybody else everybody's hands

go up. So the point and it happens every single time all

over the world. And so the point about this is, is when you

change the way you think about what your market needs as a

coach, and you change the way you respond to that market, in

terms of how you speak about yourself, just changing the way

you think changing the way you think can literally mean the

difference between I'm not interested and tell me more. And

so this is the concept of understanding that all of the

differentiators that we think separate us from everybody else

really make us sound and look exactly the same as everybody

else. So once we get that understanding, the next step is

to start working on how they think about their market. And

there's a whole process about that. But here, here's the sort

of the crux of it is this is we need to understand that your

market is not looking for, for a coach of any kind, your market

is looking for something else, they're looking for a desired

outcome. And oftentimes, they don't even know what that

desired outcome is. And so there's this process I use

called Deep Thought strategy. And what what we need to do is,

we need to demonstrate a unique understanding of our clients or

our markets condition, from a perspective they have never

before. And so we start looking for that. So how can I

demonstrate how get in front of an audience or a group or a

prospect, and demonstrate that I have a unique understanding of

your world of your condition, from a perspective you have

never considered before and so that you can make you go, you

know, I've never actually thought of it like that before.

And that's how you differentiate without spending all this time

and money on on branding, you know, like James Mellon check

was saying on a program, you were you and I have been on, you

know, don't spend lots of money on branding to stand out. But

the messaging is mission critical. And so that's kind of

where we go with all of this.

So what I'm hearing is, and correct me where

I'm wrong. Is that thinking about your client, your

potential client, what's really going on for them, like what's

really bugging them? And then So in your example of the tenants

tennis instructor, we're not talking to the kids, we're not

talking to the teenagers, you're talking to the parents who are

experiencing a challenge. That is a common everyday challenge.

Like, you know, most people who have children, that is one of

the things is they got a lot of energy, and we want them to grow

up healthy and strong. And talking to their challenge as

opposed to setting the here's the, the, the fill in the box

problem that I solve, talk to the emotional challenge, as

opposed to saying, I'm a tennis instructor. Do you want tennis,

when really what the challenge is, is they want their children

to be healthy and strong and to burn the energy so that they can

enjoy the relationship or they help their kids grow. Is that

what I'm hearing?

You're very, very close.

I mean, you're 100% Correct. Yes. Well, but and

I want to hear where the differences that's

okay. It's not a yes, but it's a yes. And I got

it. Okay. Yes. And is this Yes, you do all those things, and you

need to be able to tie that problem into your solution in a

way that makes them go. I've never, I've never put those two

together before audits. Okay. See, and so this is a thing

about Brian, the tennis instructor and And I mean,

that's just, you know, that's a simple example of the whole

thing. But it kind of makes the point doesn't it? And, and so

it's, it's about, I've never considered what you do as a

solution to this problem.

And that creates enough of a question in the

person's mind to sit up and take notice. Right?

Right. And they go, I've never thought lovely

out of that connection before. And so that's dumb. And that's

what I call demonstrating your unique understanding of their

condition, from a perspective they have never considered

before.

Super. Gosh, Steve, that's been so so

helpful. And we don't have a lot of time. So we're going to wrap

it up now. What do I want to ask you? Yeah. First, I will put

your website in the Episode Notes. So for any of the

listeners who are listening, you can find out more about Steve

there. But let's just finish up what one tip would you offer,

just in the last minute for that person? That's just like, just

give me one tip, what do I do? Where do I start?

I would start by thinking differently about your

target market, your prospects. And instead of thinking about

the problems you solve, as a coach, start thinking about the

problems they're experiencing, that they might not associate

with what you do. Think deeper, beyond the immediate results of

your skills, the immediate results of what you do, and what

are the deeper life implications of what you do. And talk to

those, instead of the obvious problems that you solve. That

will be the first

thing that is so helpful. Thank you. I really

appreciate your gift of information and the help that

you've offered to my listeners. And I've learned stuff, too. I

really appreciate that. Thank you very much. Is there anything

that you'd like to share with the audience before we wrap

up? Well, just that, you know, candy, I've seen

your podcast, I've listened to some of your podcasts. I love

the work that you're doing. And I want to praise and recognize

you for your contribution, a contribution to to our

collective community as coaches and speakers and authors and

consultants, and congratulate you on bringing so many people

to share their wisdom on your podcast.

Thank you so much. All right. Okay, listeners, that

was amazing. Go check out Steve's website. Find out more

about this, you're going to learn so much by getting into

his world. Thanks again. And we'll talk to you next week.

Wasn't that an interesting episode for different

individuals for complete completely different businesses

for completely unique skill sets and gifts. I'm so glad you

joined me for this episode. And as I said, if any of those

people really speak to you, if they really resonate with you,

check out the Episode notes. I've got all of their

information in the Episode Notes, so you can click through

and connect directly with them. Now, before we go, I want to

invite you to join me in the free coaches Online Business

Academy. This is my free resource library. Yeah, I said

that word free for reason. In there. It is absolutely loaded

with all kinds of resources for new coaches. You've got stuff

about choosing a niche. You have an essential checklist to get

started as a coach in a coaching business. You've got videos and

all kinds of things to help you out. I'll put the link for the

coach's Online Business Academy in the Episode Notes as well.

And I really look forward to seeing you there. Have a great

week. Thanks again for listening today. Please hop on over to

Apple podcasts and leave a review. Also, I would love to

hear from you. It's something that I say resonate. What else

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leave a comment on the post. This is going to give me great

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become the confident coach. You are meant to be