Success often brings opportunity, achievement, and recognition, but it doesn't automatically create meaningful connection.

In episode #1204, George & Mary-Lynn explore one of the hidden costs of achievement: how the very qualities that help us succeed can gradually pull us away from the relationships that matter most.

We discuss why networking isn't the same as friendship, why relationships require intentional investment, and how small, consistent actions can strengthen the people who enrich our lives.

We also share a simple relationship audit that can help you reconnect with those who matter most.

BIGG Takeaways:

• Success often brings a sense of loneliness because it's not just about having people around you; it's about feeling deeply connected to them.
• Many successful individuals realize that networking is not a replacement for genuine friendships, as they often lack meaningful connections despite having numerous acquaintances.
• To combat loneliness, it's essential to invest consistently in relationships, as meaningful connections require intentional effort over time.
• The Harvard Study of Adult Development highlights that strong relationships are crucial for happiness and well-being, overshadowing mere accomplishments or financial success.
• Building a life that feels connected and meaningful involves planning for relationships just as you would for your career or finances.
• Recognizing the hidden relationship costs of achievement can help us prioritize the connections that truly matter in our lives.

BIGG Chapters

[00:13] The Loneliness of Success

[00:56] The Hidden Costs of Success and Loneliness

[02:28] The Hidden Costs of Achievement

[04:50] The Importance of Intentional Relationships

[05:46] Creating Connections: The Importance of Relationships

[07:31] The Importance of Relationships in Success

Links referenced in this episode:

• Life Map Course
• BIGG success Newsletter
• Harvard Study of Adult Development

On this episode of The BIGG Success show, why success can feel lonely.

BIGG Success with The Professor and Mary-Lynn.

I was talking with a colleague recently who, by most measures, has been very successful.

At one point he said, I know a lot of people, but I don't feel really deeply connected to many of them. Now, I'm honored to be one of those that he feels connected to. But that really stuck with me. He wasn't lonely. He had plenty of relationships.

But it made me realize there's a difference between knowing people and feeling connected with them. And I think that's one of the hidden costs that success can sometimes bring.

Welcome to The BIGG Success show, where we help you create the life you want. Hi, I'm Mary-Lynn.

And I'm George, The Professor.

You've worked hard. You've achieved a lot. So why can success sometimes feel surprisingly lonely?

We'll explore this side effect of success, and share how to build a life that feels connected, meaningful, and truly successful, Today we're going to discuss: why successful people are especially vulnerable to loneliness;

The hidden relationship costs of achievement; Why networking is not the same as building relationships; Why meaningful relationships require consistent investment; And how to create success without becoming disconnected. So, Professor, I find it very interesting that successful people are especially vulnerable to loneliness. Why is that?

Well, I think that most people think that loneliness comes from being alone. But loneliness isn't the absence of people. It's the absence of meaningful connection.

Ooh, that's a very BIGG insight there. And that's BIGG with two Gs.

That's right.

Yeah. Because you can sit by yourself and feel perfectly content.

Yes, you can.

Or you can be in a crowded room and feel completely alone. Isn't that crazy?

That is crazy. And many achievers eventually recognize something that they never expected.

Success solves a lot of problems, but it doesn't automatically create belonging.

Ah, interesting point.

In fact, some of the qualities that help us succeed can unintentionally work against connection.

We had ambition that requires focus. Responsibility consumes time, and achievement demands energy.

Before long, relationships get pushed into the background, while goals move to the front. Not intentionally, just gradually. That's often where loneliness begins.

That leads us nicely into talking about the hidden relationship costs of achievement. What are those costs?

Well, to find the answer, Arthur Brooks, author of The Meaning of Your Life, suggests you ask yourself, "When did you last make a real friend?"

Many people struggle to answer this simple question. And when they do, the answer is often someone they met 20 or 30 years ago.

Why is that? Because friendship was once built into life. School, college, neighborhoods, sports, shared experiences, Friendships just happen naturally.

Enter adulthood. It changes everything.

Yeah. Now friendship competes with careers, family responsibilities, financial goals, and endless to do lists.

We're all familiar with those, right? And connection stops being being automatic. It becomes intentional. And many of us never make that shift.

We assume we'll focus on friendships later. After this project, after this promotion, after things calm down.

The problem is life never calms down! And the people that you need 10 years from now are the people you're either investing in or neglecting today.

Friendship compounds. We think only money compounds. Friendship compounds, like money. So does its absence. It's the hidden relationship, cost of achievement.

Now you might be thinking, okay, well, I go to networking events, meeting people, expanding my network. But that's not the same as friendship. Many successful people have large networks. But networks and friendships are not the same.

A network helps your career.

A friend helps your life.

A network knows what you do.

A friend knows who you are.

A network may celebrate your wins.

But a friend sits with you during your losses.

Both matter, but one can't replace the other one.

One of the longest running studies on happiness, the Harvard Study of Adult Development, found that strong relationships are one of the biggest predictors of happiness and well being.

And we have a link to that study in today's show notes. But yeah, like you're saying, not titles, not income, not accomplishments. It's all about relationships.

Now, that's not a reason to stop pursuing your goals. It's a reminder that success becomes more meaningful when it's shared.

And meaningful relationships do require consistent investment. So here's a question: Do you intentionally plan your relationships? Most people plan their careers.

We sit down and plan our finances, we plan a vacation, fitness goals. But very few plan relationships. We assume connection will happen on its own. But sometimes it doesn't, and often it doesn't.

Healthy relationships do require attention. That phone call, scheduling a lunch, going on a walk together, a text message. Even simple check-ins.

And may I say, happy hour.

Yeah, there you go. That's a great one too.

The good news, connection doesn't require huge amounts of time. It requires consistency. Small moments repeated over time create strong relationships.

There's that compounding that you were talking about earlier.

The same principle that builds wealth builds friendship. Tiny deposits made regularly.

Oh, I love that. So how do we create success without becoming disconnected?

Well, the goal isn't choosing between achievement and relationships, it's building both. At big success, we believe success means creating the life you want.

Not just earning a living, but building a life that feels meaningful and that requires looking beyond career goals alone.

Yet ask yourself, who are the people I can truly count on? Who would call me if they needed help? Who have I unintentionally drifted away from? What relationships deserve more attention right now?

Those questions often reveal more than any productivity system ever could. And this is one reason we encourage people to create a Life Map. A meaningful life isn't just built by accident. It requires intention.

And relationships deserve a place on that Life Map, along with your financial, career, and personal goals. You can learn more at LifeMapCourse.com and that brings us to this episode's BIGG Assignment from The Professor.

This week, I want you to do a relationship audit. Create three lists. Number one, your core circle.

And that would be the people who matter the most.

Number two are people who've drifted away from.

Friends or family that you've lost touch with.

Number three, people you'd like to know better.

Individuals that you'd like to build a stronger relationship with.

Now choose one person from list 2 or list 3. Reach out to them within the next 48 hours.

Not next month or when things slow down this week. 48 Hours. One message, one call, one coffee. One small step.

Because friendship compounds, as we said before, and today's small investment can become tomorrow's priceless relationship.

Now it's time for our BIGG Takeaway.

Success isn't just about what you accomplish. It's also about who you share the journey with.

But a full calendar isn't the same as a full life. The goal isn't simply to create a successful life. It's to create a life that's deeply connected by design.

Because in the end, the relationships you build often become the richest measure of your BIGG success.

If this episode resonated with you, we'd love to continue the conversation.

Join our BIGG Success Community for practical ideas, encouragement and inspiration delivered straight to your inbox, visit BIGGsuccess.com/Join. And let's stay connected on social media too. Follow @BIGGsuccess. Remember, that's BIGG with 2Gs- @BIGGsuccess on your favorite platform for more insights to help you create the life you want.

And next time: Success isn't just about who you spend your time with, as we talked about today, it's also about what you give your attention to.

Join us as we explore why your attention may be your greatest asset, and how to protect it. Be sure to follow the Big Success podcast so you never miss an episode.

We thank you so much for listening today. Until next time...

Here's to your BIGG success!

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