Sex Starved relationships ..

Erectile Unpredictability. 

Erectile dysfunction. 

Fear of intimacy.

Turning into a workaholic. 

Cleaning obsession.

Is it a surprise that sex is the last thing you want to engage in when there is panic, fear, uncertainty all around you ?

Is intimacy struggles a super easy topic to address with your partner ?

This episode is also for singles. How has your sensual self love practice suffered during this pandemic ?

Let’s shine some light onto a big shadow in our society 

With love and respect 

A.

Welcome to the Borealis Experience Podcast and Aurora Eggert Coaching 

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Free yourself from the ongoing destructive inner chatter.

Discover who you are without all this clutter in your mind.

Lets dive in and find out more about this juicy topic that will most likely affect you in one way or another. 

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Unknown: 00:00:05

Hello, hello and welcome to the Borealis

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experience. I'm your host Aurora, life coach and companion

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on this beautiful journey called life. I'm so happy to be

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spending some time with you today. I hope you can just

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either go about your business and listen to my episode here.

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Or just take a breather and sit down, lay down on your couch,

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focus in on your breath and take in my energy, my experience my

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thoughts that I have on certain topics as the title uncovers

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already. I'll be talking about a huge taboo topic today. Erectile

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dysfunction, erectile unpredictability, sex starved

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relationships. Why do I pick these topics? Because I think

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that sex sexuality intimacy has such a huge effect on our well

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being on our sense of self. And if I was not to talk, or address

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these topics, I would feel that my podcast is not complete. I

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want my podcast to be a 360 roundhouse kick on your mental

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health. I want to shine the light on the biggest shadows of

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society. And I approach it with love curiosity, and deep

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appreciation. I don't want anybody to feel uncomfortable, I

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want people to Yeah, have a look at things and realize that this

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might be a blind spot, I might want to dig a little deeper,

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there may be a fun run away, sorry, running away from this

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topic. But it's actually the topic that requires some

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attention. So I want to be here for you to slowly guide you down

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into this little rabbit hole and you decide if it's too

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triggering, then just have your hands off. But if it feels

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right, if it feels good to be digging a little deeper than

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just keep listening. And if you ever feel like reaching out and

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going deeper, if you feel ready, trust me, you will never feel

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ready, engaging on a coaching journey. But if you feel it as

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what you need right now, then reach out to me on Facebook on

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Instagram, shoot me a message and ask me all the questions

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that we want to address, or jump on a call from me it's all for

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free. And we'll explore if we are a good match and how I could

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be helping you. Alright, let's dive into today's topic of sex

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starved relationships. First of all, I want to applaud every

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couple who has made it through the last two years, you guys are

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warriors. You guys are probably so exhausted. You guys are still

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together. But maybe you have had your troubles with each other.

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But for some reason you decided to stick together and that's

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very honorable, you know, in a time where people can just

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exchange their partners like a piece of retail on the shelf.

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It's it's really cool that some people just decide to stick

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together and maybe you would have parted. But you think that

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dating is very difficult during a pandemic and so you decide to

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stay with your partner. That's valid too. But I want you to see

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soon enough that you are lying to yourself and lying to

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yourself when it comes to your relationships, your partnership.

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your romantic life is detrimental If you decided to

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stick together, then I am almost 100% certain that your sex life

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has suffered under the pressure, the mental ups and downs that

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the pandemic was bringing with? And is it a surprise? No, I

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don't think so. You know, our nervous system, our brain is

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deeply connected to our sexual desires and drive. Some even say

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that the brain is the biggest sex organ. So now, if you

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inhaled a couple of these news, during the pandemic, if you were

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affected in any way, then it is very, very likely that your sex

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drive was affected as well. Maybe at the beginning, you

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were, you know, happy to be staying home and you Netflix

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around you Amazon around and you let your hair down, you'll let

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your hair grow and you had wild sex, to keep your mind and a

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beautiful, juicy space. But slowly and surely that weaned

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off. And the anxiety kicked in, you know, the uncertainty, the

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financial troubles. And if you were not struggling, then

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certainly some people around you, and that affects you as

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well. We're very, very sensitive beings, we're all connected to

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each other. And even if we are doing great, if we know that

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another person in our life is suffering, then it also may

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affect your sex drive. Now, unfortunately, I think that no

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man will come onto my show, and talk about erectile

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unpredictability, or dysfunction. It's a pity, we're

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not there yet. I get it. It's way too tough to talk about it.

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But if you feel called to, sorry, open up about this.

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Please don't hold back, you would be helping so many men out

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there. And also women. This podcast is here to reveal things

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that are supposed to be revealed that connect us, you know, more

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deeply if we share with each other. And I'm sure if I was to

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talk to my girlfriends about this topic, I would meet lots of

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resistance first. But then I would meet maybe, like huge

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connection and vulnerability and a heart opening conversation

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that could bring healing into their relationship. The very

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tricky part about erectile dysfunction and unpredictability

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is that it is totally terrifying for the guy. It's totally

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terrifying for the girl. I'm only you know navigating through

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hetero sexuality ever since I got interested in sex, so I

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can't speak on other like relationship styles and sexual

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orientations. I'd love to learn more about it. I'd love to learn

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how sexuality was affected and different styles of sexuality

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and sexual orientation. But I only speak on what what I have

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experienced a little bit. I'm always open to learn new things.

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So it's terrifying for the girl terrifying for the guy. But I

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would say that the guy is under way more pressure. Because the

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guy is in a position of having to perform. The woman is in a

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position of receiving and of course that can switch always

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but I think in general, I'm generalizing heavily now I know.

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You the guy is under way more pressure. I feel that a girl can

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always you know, take a little bit of lube and fake an orgasm

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And you know, not be in the mood, but Okay, let's do it

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then. But if a man is not able to have an erection, then

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penetration coming together to have intercourse is going to be

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extremely difficult. And that makes it really hard for both,

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of course, but more for the guy. I want you to create unity, and

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I want to create compassion and empathy between both. And I hope

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that we can open up this conversation and have a listen

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to what men have to say to this, at some point in humanity's

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evolution, and also women open up, you know, as women, we might

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have gone through a situation where the guy tells the other

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guy, and she overhear that, hey, I was just not into her. And

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this is why nothing happened. But deep down inside, he was

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very, you know, emotionally involved, he was very insecure

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all of a sudden, but the woman only gets the message of, yeah,

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I'm not attractive, or not worthy of good sex. So there's a

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whole mess around this situation. And nobody really

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talks about it not even, you know, best friends, I feel

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because it's such a sensitive topic. But on the other side,

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it's weighing so heavily on on most people's chest. So that's

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why I want to talk about it, it's gonna affect you and your

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day and your thoughts, your self worth, and your relationships,

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you might be building up resentment towards the other

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person towards your partner, you might build up resentment and

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hatred towards yourself. And that's so scary. That's so sad.

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Our nervous system, like I said, at the beginning, is deeply

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engaged with our sex drive. And if we consume news that are

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scary, if we feel insecure, uncertain about our future, your

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body, like the last thing your body is going to want and think

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of is creating offsprings. And that's what sex is originally

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for, right? So we can cut that out. Even if you don't want to

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have babies and have all the measures in place to not create

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a new human being. That is the root. So desires and openness,

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hard to hurt, feelings, and conversations are being shut

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down when we are in a stressful situation. And we have been in a

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very stressful situation for the past two years. And maybe before

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that already. It is so important as a couple, to reconnect and to

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be curious and to talk about it as hard as it may seem at the

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beginning. If you open up to your partner and tell him or her

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Hey, I miss us, I'd love to be close again. And I know what's

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going to be tough at the beginning. I know you don't feel

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sensual or pretty. But let's have some sensual sexy times

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again, in a very slow sex kind of manner. lets us be gentle

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again. Let's let our guard down again. And you will notice that

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something deep inside of you is going to relax. You'll be doing

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something really courageous and trying to find that

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conversation. And it's gonna make you stronger no matter

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what. It's going to make you stronger as an individual is

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going to make us stronger as a couple. And dear listeners if

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there is singles among us today, please know that I want you

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deeply involved in this too because I'm sure that self

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pleasure has been on a very

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very Low priority list. Right? We don't feel like player

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pleasuring ourselves. If we feel stressed and anxious, has

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nothing to do with your worse

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has everything to do with your nervous system, having to adjust

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again to relax and to be open and vulnerable, courageous. So

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if we can all start a conversation with our partners

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and share how we have felt not ignoring this anymore and living

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in denial this because we know very well that both parties

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involved are aware of what's going on and not talking about

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it. And escaping from it is not going to make you stronger and

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more resilient for the future. You know, a lot of people escape

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into their work into their raising kids into creating a

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business or whatnot, and justify by Yaba, we have to make money

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but we have to pay bills. But if the foundation is, you know,

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crippled from this intense pandemic, then your relationship

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is going to be on a shaky, shaky base, and no one wants, that.

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insecurities are going to be on arise, you'll be insecure, as

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soon as a woman or man enters the room that feels comfortable

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in their skin. We feel threatened. When those people

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around you who feel in tune with themselves, you will feel weak.

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And that's the last thing I wish for you. I want you to feel

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strong. I want you to feel courageous. I want you to

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express what you feel from a very genuine, loving place. Be

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open and seek out that conversation and know that it's

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gonna feel awkward at the beginning. But as a whole, it's

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gonna make you feel more attuned to your soul's calling. You're

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so worthy and you're not your penis, you're not your vagina.

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You're so much more open up to sensuality again, very slowly.

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At first, open up about the feeling of being shut down

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closed down. anxious, nervous. And usually you need compassion.

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Alright, if ever you feel like reaching out and asking

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questions, if you liked that episode, please rate or review

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my podcast. Subscribe to it if you haven't already, to not miss

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out on future episodes. And I will be out there for you very

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soon again. Thank you for listening