The Holy Spirit empowers us to live in the kind of community that we see in Acts 2. Listen as Pastor Kevin shares how one thing can create a chasm that destroys that kind of community.
Psalm 119:165; Proverbs 18:19a; Matthew 7:15-16, 5:44; 24:4-14; Acts 24:16
https://springhouse.captivate.fm/episode/conflict-and-offense-in-gods-kingdom
Subscribe & Follow the Podcast
Springhouse Church
14119 Old Nashville Highway
Smyrna TN 37167
CCLI License 2070006
(upbeat music)
Speaker:Man, God is good, is He not?
Speaker:Man, He's so faithful, He's so faithful.
Speaker:As I shared before earlier,
Speaker:we have been camping in Acts chapter two
Speaker:and looking at the model of the early church.
Speaker:And I didn't, Pastor Jonathan,
Speaker:do just an outstanding job last week
Speaker:presenting the Word to us
Speaker:and kind of encapsulating everything within that passage
Speaker:and I was so grateful for the Word.
Speaker:You know, one of the greatest criticisms of the church,
Speaker:and when I say the church, I mean capital C,
Speaker:the church at large.
Speaker:One of the greatest criticisms of the church
Speaker:is this notion of hypocrisy.
Speaker:Have you ever heard that?
Speaker:I don't go to church
Speaker:because there's a bunch of hypocrites there.
Speaker:And when somebody comes to me and says,
Speaker:I don't go to church
Speaker:because there's a bunch of hypocrites there,
Speaker:I just answer them and guess we have room for one more.
Speaker:And...
Speaker:(congregation laughing)
Speaker:Because we are people and we are human
Speaker:and we mess up.
Speaker:And some of us are messed up from the floor up,
Speaker:some more than others, okay?
Speaker:But boy, we are on this journey together
Speaker:and every one of us have in common that we need a Savior.
Speaker:We need Jesus Christ.
Speaker:We need the blood of Jesus Christ,
Speaker:which is sufficient to cleanse us from all sin
Speaker:and all unrighteousness.
Speaker:We need His blood.
Speaker:But it goes beyond that.
Speaker:It's not that His blood isn't sufficient,
Speaker:but it goes beyond that.
Speaker:He has given us a precious gift
Speaker:that we don't talk a whole lot about.
Speaker:And that is the precious gift of His Holy Spirit,
Speaker:the Holy Spirit of God.
Speaker:We have access to the Holy Spirit
Speaker:and over the next several weeks,
Speaker:we are going to be unpackaging
Speaker:and looking at the person of the Holy Spirit.
Speaker:And I'm excited about the journey that we're going to go on.
Speaker:But as I was praying about where we were supposed to go,
Speaker:initially I felt this was a little bit out of place,
Speaker:but the Lord just really showed me
Speaker:that it was exactly where it needed to be.
Speaker:Have you ever read scripture?
Speaker:Sometimes when I read the story of like Jonah and the whale,
Speaker:do you ever like hear that story
Speaker:or Daniel in the lion's den
Speaker:or the three guys who go into the fire?
Speaker:You hear that story or somebody's portraying it
Speaker:and in your mind, it's like automatically,
Speaker:it goes to animation.
Speaker:Like it goes to like, it's like, I know I believe this,
Speaker:but it seems so surreal that it's like,
Speaker:it almost lends itself to like a fictional slant.
Speaker:You know, it's like, yeah,
Speaker:I guess he really did live in the belly of a whale
Speaker:for three days.
Speaker:You know, I do believe that, but boy,
Speaker:it's just like, I see it as a cartoon in my mind.
Speaker:In this section of scripture we've been studying,
Speaker:some of you may be looking at it
Speaker:as we're presenting week by week.
Speaker:And it's like, man, that is such a wonderful concept,
Speaker:a really great idea that we would all come into the place
Speaker:and hold hands and sing Kumbaya
Speaker:and just be together and happy
Speaker:and smile at each other all the time.
Speaker:And we would just be great and perfect
Speaker:and everybody's in sweet harmony.
Speaker:But here's the reality.
Speaker:They were people just like you and me.
Speaker:And anytime there is more than one person involved,
Speaker:there's bound to at some point be conflict.
Speaker:There's bound to at some point be an opportunity
Speaker:for an offense to be taken up.
Speaker:Have you been offended this morning?
Speaker:Before you got here?
Speaker:By your spouse or your kids?
Speaker:I offend my wife with my breath every single day.
Speaker:There are opportunities for offense
Speaker:that surround us all over the place.
Speaker:And today we're gonna talk about offense
Speaker:and we're gonna talk about conflict resolution.
Speaker:Because why is this important?
Speaker:You're like, man, we've been talking about,
Speaker:man, this early church
Speaker:and we've been talking about them being devoted
Speaker:to themselves and having all these things in common.
Speaker:They wanted to see God's face,
Speaker:but we're not going to remove the humanism
Speaker:from the scripture.
Speaker:They were human.
Speaker:Why do we know that they had conflict?
Speaker:Because Paul just wrote a whole bunch of letters
Speaker:telling churches, this is how you're supposed to act.
Speaker:This is what you're supposed to do.
Speaker:So it tells us there was conflict.
Speaker:There were sometimes division.
Speaker:There were things that got off kilter.
Speaker:I'm sure there was somebody in there saying,
Speaker:I don't wanna sell my possession.
Speaker:I don't wanna sell my new toy.
Speaker:There are probably these things that happened,
Speaker:but guess what?
Speaker:Because of unity,
Speaker:they were able to write in the scripture
Speaker:that they were devoted to one another
Speaker:and devoted to the purposes of God.
Speaker:You can have unity and still have conflict
Speaker:and chance for offense as long as you are handling it
Speaker:the way the scripture tells us to.
Speaker:So we're gonna look at a scripture today.
Speaker:Now, as we look at the scripture,
Speaker:it's very important to me that you understand
Speaker:that the group that we were talking about
Speaker:for the last several weeks,
Speaker:they already know this information
Speaker:that we're about to read.
Speaker:Jesus is speaking in this passage
Speaker:and they know this information
Speaker:because he is talking to his disciples.
Speaker:He is alive, he's on the earth.
Speaker:This is before he ascended to heaven,
Speaker:before the death, burial, and resurrection.
Speaker:He is speaking to his disciples
Speaker:and he's talking about the end times.
Speaker:He's talking about the time that we're living in.
Speaker:Do you guys ever wonder if we're close to the end times?
Speaker:Do you ever wonder, man, what is that gonna look like?
Speaker:He's talking about the end times here.
Speaker:And so we can actually pick up in this scripture
Speaker:and actually relate and perhaps empathize
Speaker:with some of the disciples' questions
Speaker:and their thoughts.
Speaker:So we're gonna stand together
Speaker:and read from Matthew chapter 24.
Speaker:And I would like you to read like you love me.
Speaker:That better not be silent, here we go.
Speaker:Now as he sat on the Mount of Olives,
Speaker:the disciples came to him privately saying,
Speaker:tell us when these,
Speaker:and what will be the sign of your coming
Speaker:and the end of the age.
Speaker:And Jesus answered and said to them,
Speaker:take heed that no one deceives you,
Speaker:for many will come in my name saying,
Speaker:I am the Christ and will deceive many.
Speaker:And you will hear of wars and rumors of wars.
Speaker:See that you are not troubled,
Speaker:for all these things must come to pass,
Speaker:but the end is not yet.
Speaker:For nation will rise against nation
Speaker:and kingdom against kingdom.
Speaker:And there will be famines, pestilences,
Speaker:and earthquakes in various places.
Speaker:All these are the beginning of sorrows.
Speaker:Then they will deliver you up to tribulation and kill you.
Speaker:And you will be hated by all nations for my name's sake.
Speaker:Praise the Lord.
Speaker:And then many will be offended,
Speaker:will betray one another and will hate one another.
Speaker:Then many false prophets will rise up and deceive many.
Speaker:And because lawlessness will abound,
Speaker:the love of many will grow cold.
Speaker:Are you encouraged this morning?
Speaker:Let's pray.
Speaker:Father, thank you for your word.
Speaker:I thank you that your word renders truth, hard truth,
Speaker:real truth, encouraging truth.
Speaker:We get the whole picture when it comes to you, God.
Speaker:I pray that you would encourage our hearts
Speaker:and speak to us this morning in Jesus' name.
Speaker:Amen.
Speaker:You may be seated.
Speaker:Guys, we live in such a polarizing culture,
Speaker:polarizing society.
Speaker:I can say something under my breath.
Speaker:I can look at you a certain way.
Speaker:I can suggest something and you be totally offended
Speaker:and sever our relationship just like that.
Speaker:We are super sensitive
Speaker:because we've been brought in a culture
Speaker:that says it's my way or the highway.
Speaker:It's all about me.
Speaker:It's what my view is.
Speaker:It's how I feel.
Speaker:And really, I don't give any margin for your opinion
Speaker:'cause it doesn't matter.
Speaker:That's what we've been taught.
Speaker:I mean, we can't even get our soft drinks correct.
Speaker:You know what I mean?
Speaker:Who prefers Coke over Pepsi?
Speaker:Pepsi over Coke.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:Let's see if we can cause some division today.
Speaker:McDonald's over Burger King.
Speaker:Who's got McDonald's?
Speaker:Who's got Burger King?
Speaker:Who's got option three?
Speaker:UPS or FedEx?
Speaker:UPS, FedEx.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:Dunkin' or Starbucks?
Speaker:Dunkin'?
Speaker:Starbucks.
Speaker:All right, lots of division in the room.
Speaker:DC?
Speaker:Marvel.
Speaker:I'm gonna have to open the alders again, Pastor Barbie.
Speaker:Right now with this one, Apple or Android?
Speaker:Apple?
Speaker:Android.
Speaker:We're gonna dismiss those.
Speaker:No, I'm not gonna say.
Speaker:Tennessee?
Speaker:Alabama.
Speaker:(congregation shouting)
Speaker:Don't you dare answer.
Speaker:Don't you dare answer.
Speaker:Here's my point.
Speaker:The world divides, the gospel unites.
Speaker:The good news of Jesus Christ unites
Speaker:as the world is out to just completely divide you
Speaker:and isolate you from anything that's good to pull you away.
Speaker:The world divides, the gospel and its purpose is to unite.
Speaker:So why do we as Christians still contend
Speaker:with this thing called offense?
Speaker:Boy, we have offense.
Speaker:Now, if you're familiar with the bait of Satan,
Speaker:I'm gonna be drawing a little bit from that course.
Speaker:So don't be alarmed if I'm using some of that.
Speaker:That's intentional.
Speaker:But has anybody in here been offended in your life?
Speaker:Raise your hand if you've been offended.
Speaker:Raise your hand if you're a liar.
Speaker:No.
Speaker:You've been offended.
Speaker:You have been offended.
Speaker:And if I ask the better question,
Speaker:how many of you have offended someone else?
Speaker:Every hand probably should go up as well.
Speaker:Because everyone has stepped in that way.
Speaker:Sometimes intentionally,
Speaker:but most of the time unintentionally.
Speaker:Acts chapter two, I want us to realize
Speaker:that the people that we're reading about are human.
Speaker:They're in a community.
Speaker:And anytime we're in a community,
Speaker:there's bound to be an opportunity for conflict
Speaker:and for offense to be taken.
Speaker:Now I'm gonna give you this morning right now,
Speaker:I need everybody to pay attention off your cell phones.
Speaker:Everybody ready?
Speaker:I'm gonna give you a piece of revelation right now
Speaker:that's gonna change your life.
Speaker:Okay, are you ready for it?
Speaker:If you're ready church, say yeah.
Speaker:This is gonna change your life.
Speaker:This somebody's getting free today, okay?
Speaker:Sometimes you are wrong.
Speaker:That was for somebody this morning.
Speaker:Plural, that was for somebodies.
Speaker:And the Lord has this tendency
Speaker:to send the most annoying people in your life
Speaker:to tell you this truth.
Speaker:And to remind you about this truth.
Speaker:But sometimes you are wrong.
Speaker:And anytime somebody is walking around
Speaker:with a posture that they are always right,
Speaker:then they are only about themselves
Speaker:and they are dealing with pride.
Speaker:Because all of us at some point or another are wrong.
Speaker:And we don't like to be wrong.
Speaker:Does it feel good to be wrong?
Speaker:No, it doesn't feel good to be wrong.
Speaker:We walk around trying to be right.
Speaker:But it is okay, it is okay that sometimes you are wrong
Speaker:when you admit, hey, I was wrong, I messed up.
Speaker:So sometimes it's harder not just to be wrong,
Speaker:but to actually admit the truth that I was wrong.
Speaker:That takes courage.
Speaker:It takes loving the other person.
Speaker:And for many of us, it takes the power of the Holy Spirit.
Speaker:Because we are conditioned as people to be very selfish
Speaker:as opposed to selfless.
Speaker:And we put ourselves in the center.
Speaker:And if we're in the center of our world,
Speaker:then we're always right.
Speaker:But guys, the Lord doesn't want you
Speaker:to be the center of your world.
Speaker:He wants to be in the center.
Speaker:And the biggest conflict that we ever had
Speaker:on the face of this planet was a conflict with our creator.
Speaker:And it was that we opposed him because of our sin.
Speaker:That automatically puts us in a category of being wrong.
Speaker:And he's right.
Speaker:And so selfishness and pride.
Speaker:I was on a, come on up here, Phil.
Speaker:I was on a car ride with Philip yesterday.
Speaker:And he just, we were talking a little bit
Speaker:about this message today.
Speaker:And he brought up a quote by St. Francis of Assisi.
Speaker:And I just want him to share this quote with you.
Speaker:It's a short one, but I wanted him to come up and share it.
Speaker:Because it has everything to do with how we handle conflict.
Speaker:Would you just share that?
Speaker:- Yeah, first off, anybody?
Speaker:- I need a microphone.
Speaker:Okay, here we go.
Speaker:- Yeah.
Speaker:- Anybody feel like this message is for them?
Speaker:Yeah, that's definitely me.
Speaker:Well, it's one thing that has gotten me
Speaker:through some difficult conversations in the past.
Speaker:Whenever I have needed to approach someone,
Speaker:I know that I've done it wrongly so many times in the past,
Speaker:going up to someone and trying to make sure
Speaker:that they heard my perspective
Speaker:before actually understanding what they were going through
Speaker:or how they were receiving something.
Speaker:So I was talking with Pastor Kevin yesterday
Speaker:and a quote came to mind that I used to really live by.
Speaker:And I try to still to this day,
Speaker:especially with my team at work.
Speaker:But the quote is, "Seek to understand, not to be understood."
Speaker:And I feel like that's really powerful
Speaker:'cause whenever you go into a courageous conversation
Speaker:with someone that you presumably love,
Speaker:it's very easy to represent your own perspective
Speaker:so forcibly a lot of times
Speaker:and really not take the time to understand
Speaker:what that person might be going through,
Speaker:how they might be processing the circumstance
Speaker:of the conversation that you're looking to have with them
Speaker:or anything else.
Speaker:So that's kind of a quote that's really helped shape
Speaker:the way that I try to go into courageous conversation.
Speaker:- So it's seek to-- - Understand.
Speaker:- Seek to understand, not to be understood.
Speaker:Would you say that?
Speaker:Seek to-- - Understand.
Speaker:- Not to be understood.
Speaker:Here's the thing, guys.
Speaker:Who is right is less important than what is right.
Speaker:Who is right is less important than what is right, okay?
Speaker:When we make it about us,
Speaker:when we put the who before the what,
Speaker:we create a big mess, create a big mess.
Speaker:Sometimes we have to understand with humility
Speaker:that being wrong doesn't knock us down the ladder
Speaker:a few notches.
Speaker:We were just wrong and that's okay, that happens.
Speaker:So where do we go to find what's right?
Speaker:Where in the world do we go to find what's right?
Speaker:Any guesses?
Speaker:The word of God, go figure.
Speaker:He has given us his word.
Speaker:We go to the word of God as the authority in our life
Speaker:and it gives us truth, it gives us the answers.
Speaker:The word of God, Psalm 119 says this,
Speaker:"Great peace have they which love your word
Speaker:"and nothing shall offend them."
Speaker:Nothing, I'm going through a circumstance right now
Speaker:over the last several months that I have every opportunity
Speaker:to pick up an offense.
Speaker:But I have great peace.
Speaker:God, why do I have great peace?
Speaker:I know his word, I know his truth.
Speaker:I know that he is sovereign, I know that he is good
Speaker:no matter what the outcome of my situation.
Speaker:How do I know that?
Speaker:'Cause I'm just so great and I'm perfect.
Speaker:No, it's because his word says it
Speaker:and I believe what his word says.
Speaker:I have to remind myself daily of this truth.
Speaker:It's not something that's just natural.
Speaker:My natural inclination is wanna punch people in the face.
Speaker:Anybody else?
Speaker:My natural inclination is a lot of different things
Speaker:but I have to combat it daily by picking up my cross
Speaker:and following what I believe this word of God to say.
Speaker:So do you know the word of God?
Speaker:What advice do I give as a pastor when people come to me,
Speaker:hey, Kevin, so and so said this, did this, whatever.
Speaker:What's my advice?
Speaker:I don't tell them to go run,
Speaker:well, what I first tell them to do is go put it on Facebook
Speaker:'cause you know you gotta put it on Facebook
Speaker:for everybody to see, right?
Speaker:Then go gossip about the person
Speaker:and then after that, no, go to the word to seek truth.
Speaker:And it's not just go to the word to seek truth
Speaker:about that person, go to the word to seek truth
Speaker:about yourself, about how you're supposed to respond,
Speaker:about reminding yourself about what Jesus Christ did
Speaker:for you on the cross and why your offense toward them
Speaker:or the way that you picked up offense should be lessened
Speaker:because of what Jesus did for you.
Speaker:It's a reminder, it's a reminder.
Speaker:But there's wisdom in a multitude of counselors.
Speaker:You know what we do as Christians?
Speaker:We pull people in that are gonna counsel us
Speaker:that agree with our side of the story.
Speaker:We pull people in and sometimes it's disguised
Speaker:in the altar space as I need prayer,
Speaker:so and so said this and did this and they did this
Speaker:and da, da, da, da, da, da, would you,
Speaker:let's pray for them right now.
Speaker:And I come to convey information rather than in truth
Speaker:ask the Holy Spirit to come and infuse the situation.
Speaker:We need to be looking for God's face
Speaker:in all of our circumstances, especially our relational ones.
Speaker:God, where are you in this?
Speaker:God, where are you in this?
Speaker:I wanna see your face because if I see your face,
Speaker:then I'm gonna see them the way you see them.
Speaker:Not the way I wanna see them,
Speaker:not the way I feel about the situation right now,
Speaker:not the way that it's been painted,
Speaker:even with the scars and what's coming at me.
Speaker:God, I want to be able to see them the way that you see them.
Speaker:We need to see God's face in our situations
Speaker:and we have to stop trying to fix it on our own.
Speaker:We need to invite the Lord into our circumstances
Speaker:and into our conflicts.
Speaker:And so we're gonna work through
Speaker:this bottom portion of Matthew.
Speaker:And we're gonna look at this real quick
Speaker:and I'm gonna ask Cole Burkett to come up here.
Speaker:And if you'll grab this, come back here, come up quickly.
Speaker:Actually, I'll grab this while you're coming up.
Speaker:It is so easy for us to pick up a fence.
Speaker:How many, give Cole a round of applause.
Speaker:(congregation applauding)
Speaker:Now, Cole is a musician.
Speaker:This says, this says, offense.
Speaker:You get it?
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:Cole is a musician, but more importantly,
Speaker:Cole's my friend, okay?
Speaker:So come here, Cole.
Speaker:Last week, I want you to stand right here, buddy.
Speaker:Last week, Pastor Jonathan gave a definition of fellowship.
Speaker:And he talked about fellowship being deeper than a friend,
Speaker:deeper than friendship, closer to family,
Speaker:but even beyond that.
Speaker:And so the most important word in that definition
Speaker:of fellowship was the word intimacy,
Speaker:which is a word that we totally obliterate
Speaker:and don't really understand.
Speaker:But the posture of intimacy looks like this.
Speaker:Go this way.
Speaker:The posture of intimacy looks like this.
Speaker:It's close.
Speaker:There's a bond.
Speaker:There is closeness, a bond.
Speaker:There's a truth.
Speaker:There's, what are you doing?
Speaker:(congregation laughing)
Speaker:There's comfort.
Speaker:There's love.
Speaker:There's trust, okay?
Speaker:All of those vulnerability.
Speaker:This is the posture of intimacy.
Speaker:This is what we are supposed to be with fellow believers.
Speaker:We're supposed to be an intimate connection, okay?
Speaker:That's what God's desire for us is.
Speaker:But something happens along the way.
Speaker:Now, I said Cole was a musician, okay?
Speaker:I'm just gonna use some bogus examples here, okay?
Speaker:Cole's a musician.
Speaker:He plays a show downtown and I don't show up.
Speaker:So Cole makes up in his mind,
Speaker:Kevin must not care about me
Speaker:because he didn't come to the show.
Speaker:Do you know there's a difference
Speaker:between perception and reality?
Speaker:So his perception is I didn't come to the show
Speaker:because I don't care about him.
Speaker:The reality was my kids were sick and I had to stay home.
Speaker:But he didn't say anything to me about it.
Speaker:He just kind of holds on to that.
Speaker:Cole wants to come and he's a musician.
Speaker:He wants to come and play worship at Springhouse.
Speaker:He wants to come and be on the stage and lead worship.
Speaker:And Pastor Jonathan never talks to him,
Speaker:never says anything to him about it.
Speaker:So his perception is, man, I'm really a nobody.
Speaker:Nobody wants to use me.
Speaker:I guess my talents are worthless to the kingdom,
Speaker:are worthless to the church.
Speaker:But the reality was is that Pastor Jonathan is over here
Speaker:praying and seeking for somebody to come to him and say,
Speaker:hey, I would like to maybe join the worship team.
Speaker:And he doesn't know that Cole's has a desire
Speaker:because Cole's not said anything about it.
Speaker:So now he's got a perception that nobody sees him,
Speaker:nobody hears him.
Speaker:Pastor Justin takes Cole to lunch
Speaker:and Cole sits there and they have a great meal together.
Speaker:And Pastor Justin didn't pay for Cole's meal
Speaker:'cause he's got 45 kids.
Speaker:That's the reality.
Speaker:The perception is Pastor Justin doesn't see me
Speaker:or care about me that I'm a poor musician that needs money.
Speaker:So Cole has all of these situations going on
Speaker:and has had none of which he has said anything
Speaker:to the person about.
Speaker:And so what happens is is we're supposed to be in this,
Speaker:we're gonna use the example of me, okay, earlier.
Speaker:He and I are in this intimate position, okay?
Speaker:We're close.
Speaker:We are walking life together and we're close.
Speaker:Every time we see each other, we have a close bond.
Speaker:But, but because I didn't go to his show,
Speaker:he has made up in his mind
Speaker:that I do not value his musicianship.
Speaker:And his mind has started to spiral into,
Speaker:Kevin must just not care about my life at all.
Speaker:And he must not care about my wife or my family.
Speaker:And it has just gotten bigger.
Speaker:And what he's done is he's picked up this offense.
Speaker:Go ahead, pick this up.
Speaker:Literally pick it up, okay?
Speaker:And I want you to come toward me and face me.
Speaker:So this is what happens, okay?
Speaker:Now our relationship has a barrier between it.
Speaker:So here I go, not yet.
Speaker:(congregation laughing)
Speaker:Okay?
Speaker:So now when we're supposed to be an intimate connection,
Speaker:it's awkward.
Speaker:And it's awkward because I can tell something is off.
Speaker:Something is not quite right here.
Speaker:He's not reciprocating the relationship the way he used to.
Speaker:He has stopped communicating the way
Speaker:that I'm used to him communicating.
Speaker:He has stopped showing up to things
Speaker:that he normally shows up to.
Speaker:Something is clearly off.
Speaker:And even so much so that I might be cognizant enough
Speaker:to go, Cole, hey, something's off, something's wrong.
Speaker:And he just smiles, smile at them.
Speaker:(congregation laughing)
Speaker:And he says, no, everything's fine.
Speaker:Everything's great.
Speaker:So many of us, that is a lie.
Speaker:So many of us will lie
Speaker:instead of go to the middle of the relationship.
Speaker:Let me tell you something.
Speaker:When you say you love someone,
Speaker:when you say you love someone,
Speaker:there is nothing on the table that you can't talk about.
Speaker:There should be an open pathway to say,
Speaker:even if it seems dumb,
Speaker:even if it seems like you just are like,
Speaker:man, I know this is crazy.
Speaker:You should be able to communicate.
Speaker:That is immature love whenever you can't,
Speaker:when you can't converse like that.
Speaker:And so we've got a boundary between us right now
Speaker:and it's kind of crazy and it's creating this chasm.
Speaker:So that's what the scripture says
Speaker:is that it says that many will be offended.
Speaker:Many will be offended.
Speaker:What does he say next?
Speaker:He says, then, I'm sorry, let me say this.
Speaker:One offended is more unyielding than a strong city.
Speaker:Back in the day, they used to build walls around cities.
Speaker:Why did they do that?
Speaker:For protection.
Speaker:What is offense birthed out of?
Speaker:It's birthed out of a hurt.
Speaker:I don't want to be hurt again.
Speaker:So I'm going to build a wall between you and me
Speaker:so I don't get hurt again.
Speaker:But here is the lie of the enemy.
Speaker:When we build that wall,
Speaker:we're actually hurting ourselves worse
Speaker:than if we would address the situation.
Speaker:We're hurting ourselves worse
Speaker:than whether we address the situation.
Speaker:And here's the real crux.
Speaker:When we hold onto an offense, we let go of God.
Speaker:We have no ability to hold onto God
Speaker:because we're holding onto the offense.
Speaker:So the next thing that Jesus says here
Speaker:is that they will betray one another, okay?
Speaker:So here we've been an intimate connection.
Speaker:Now it's awkward.
Speaker:There's this thing going on in this space.
Speaker:And now things are happening in cold spirit in his mind
Speaker:that are not healthy.
Speaker:And guess what?
Speaker:He's got this offense.
Speaker:He's let go of God.
Speaker:So his natural, supernatural, heavenly affirmation
Speaker:they should be getting from the word he's not getting.
Speaker:And so what he does is he betrays.
Speaker:And betrayal looks like this.
Speaker:I want you to turn and face them.
Speaker:This is what betrayal looks like.
Speaker:It is taking the offense here in the perception
Speaker:and showing all of you everything from his perspective.
Speaker:Because if he will think to Chelsea his perspective,
Speaker:then Chelsea will go, oh, you poor thing, Cole,
Speaker:we're gonna round a bunch of people
Speaker:to come see your show next time
Speaker:because we wanna make sure you feel good.
Speaker:How dare Kevin not do that?
Speaker:Kevin isn't doing anything with his life.
Speaker:He should be at your show.
Speaker:All of these things.
Speaker:And so he starts to paint this perception
Speaker:to everybody as betrayal.
Speaker:Why is the betrayal there?
Speaker:Because he needs affirmation from people
Speaker:because he's not getting it from the source.
Speaker:He's gotta get it from somewhere.
Speaker:And so we begin to feed into the lie.
Speaker:Now, he's not gonna go to somebody like Pastor Barbie
Speaker:with this because Pastor Barbie's actually gonna say,
Speaker:uh-uh, that doesn't sound like Kevin.
Speaker:Let's go right now and turn around and, right?
Speaker:Why do I know that about Pastor Barbie?
Speaker:Because she loves me.
Speaker:Because she loves me.
Speaker:Oh, that we would have people
Speaker:when somebody comes to you and says something
Speaker:that seems off from the character
Speaker:that you know that person to be.
Speaker:Instead of buying right into what they're saying,
Speaker:you say, wait a second,
Speaker:that does not sound like that person I know.
Speaker:Let's go and figure out what's going on.
Speaker:Or at the least, at the least, yikes,
Speaker:that doesn't seem like they stepped
Speaker:in the right direction there.
Speaker:Let's go right now and talk to them
Speaker:because I know them well enough that they will own it
Speaker:and they will apologize and we can walk in forgiveness.
Speaker:Guys, this has to be a place where gossip goes to die.
Speaker:This has to be a place where we are authentic enough
Speaker:with one another that we protect one another through love,
Speaker:through the lens of love.
Speaker:So, Cole is coming at you and he's gonna find the people,
Speaker:he's not finding the people who love me
Speaker:and want to support and lift my arms up.
Speaker:He's finding people that are going to,
Speaker:he's finding the weak ones.
Speaker:The ones who will come and say,
Speaker:yeah, let me just feed into this.
Speaker:The ones who think they're strong, but they're really weak.
Speaker:Then what happens?
Speaker:Goes from being offended to betrayal to hatred.
Speaker:To hatred, this is what hatred looks like
Speaker:when you set this fence down over here
Speaker:and once you get in the middle.
Speaker:Hatred is a trap.
Speaker:It's a trap of isolation.
Speaker:It's a trap that says, I am untouchable.
Speaker:Nobody can speak into my life.
Speaker:Nobody can help me.
Speaker:And another word that we would call this
Speaker:instead of these walls being able to be a stronghold.
Speaker:I got a stronghold going on in my life.
Speaker:And it's got me and I'm not connecting to the Lord.
Speaker:I'm not able to get past what's going on.
Speaker:I am walking in hatred right now.
Speaker:It's what Jesus says is gonna happen.
Speaker:A fence leads to betrayal, leads to hate.
Speaker:But then what it says, then it says more.
Speaker:What does it say?
Speaker:It's what I should have said.
Speaker:Then many false prophets will rise up and deceive many.
Speaker:Why is this person so susceptible to false truth,
Speaker:false doctrine?
Speaker:Because they're not holding on to the word
Speaker:or holding on to the Lord.
Speaker:So now they're wide open for whatever the enemy
Speaker:wants to throw their way.
Speaker:Whatever comes their way, he's buying into truth
Speaker:that is not truth because he doesn't know the truth.
Speaker:He's not connected to the Holy Spirit, to God.
Speaker:He's just wide open target for anything that comes his way.
Speaker:Jesus talks about false prophets in Matthew seven.
Speaker:He says this, "Beware of false prophets
Speaker:"who come to you dressed as sheep,
Speaker:"but inwardly are ravenous wolves."
Speaker:Do you notice there that he doesn't say
Speaker:that the ones that are dressed, I'm sorry,
Speaker:the false prophets are dressed like sheep?
Speaker:He doesn't say the false prophets are dressed like shepherds.
Speaker:See, when we read that, we think automatically,
Speaker:well, a pastor is gonna lead us astray.
Speaker:A prophet is gonna lead us, no.
Speaker:He's talking about the sheep.
Speaker:He's talking about you all because guess what?
Speaker:Here's the thing, he's isolated.
Speaker:We can't mind our business enough
Speaker:to not come up to the fence and say,
Speaker:hey, what's going on?
Speaker:How's it going?
Speaker:Tell me what's up here, what's going on?
Speaker:And so the sheep start speaking into the life
Speaker:of the person who's isolated, not the truth,
Speaker:but false things, aiding the isolation
Speaker:on the outside of the fence, on the outside of the fence.
Speaker:And here's what actually happens.
Speaker:I'm just gonna be real real tonight, today.
Speaker:Once they do this to you, make you feel good,
Speaker:they're going over here and they're talking bad about you.
Speaker:Am I saying the truth?
Speaker:And then they're talking bad about that person.
Speaker:If somebody has the audacity to come
Speaker:and just spew a bunch of gossip to you,
Speaker:I promise you they're talking about you as well.
Speaker:Aren't you glad you came this morning?
Speaker:(congregation laughing)
Speaker:And the reason I say that is because he says this
Speaker:and because of lawlessness.
Speaker:The vices that happen in here,
Speaker:the sin that happens in this place,
Speaker:'cause you gotta do something to sober yourself up
Speaker:to feel good.
Speaker:The lawlessness will abound
Speaker:and the love of many will grow cold.
Speaker:It will grow cold.
Speaker:So, are we like people without hope
Speaker:when we're in this situation?
Speaker:Are we a people that once you get here, you are stuck?
Speaker:You are never stuck when it comes to the Lord.
Speaker:You can always have a pathway to be unstuck
Speaker:when it comes to the Lord.
Speaker:And we learn over in Acts chapter 24, a pathway,
Speaker:it says this, "And herein do I exercise myself
Speaker:to have always a conscious void to offense toward God
Speaker:and toward mine."
Speaker:The important word in this is exercise.
Speaker:Now, I have started to work out over the last several months
Speaker:and I don't really like it.
Speaker:I like to see the results, but I don't like the process.
Speaker:I don't like the process.
Speaker:This week, I was in super pain
Speaker:over at Justin's house in my legs.
Speaker:And he's like, "Let's do lunges
Speaker:all the way up and down the freaking pathway,"
Speaker:whatever it is.
Speaker:It hurt, it didn't feel good.
Speaker:But I'm subjecting myself to the pain
Speaker:because I know the result I'm gonna be pleased with.
Speaker:And so in this passage, it says,
Speaker:herein do I exercise myself.
Speaker:So here's what you do.
Speaker:If you find yourself in a place,
Speaker:maybe this morning the Lord has identified
Speaker:somebody you've been holding offense against,
Speaker:you've got a conflict with, you're in isolation,
Speaker:maybe you can go as far as say, I hate them.
Speaker:Maybe, maybe, maybe you didn't realize
Speaker:you hated them until now
Speaker:because you've convinced yourself that it's okay.
Speaker:You've numbed yourself,
Speaker:but the reality is that you're isolated from everyone else
Speaker:and you've changed your behavior.
Speaker:So what do you do?
Speaker:The first thing that we want to do is this.
Speaker:This is not what we're supposed to do.
Speaker:This is the first thing we want to do
Speaker:because we know, we know here,
Speaker:okay, I'm supposed to go to that person.
Speaker:I'm supposed to tell them what I feel like they've done wrong
Speaker:and forgive them, right?
Speaker:So we know that, but we don't do it.
Speaker:First of all, it's too late.
Speaker:That ship has sailed
Speaker:'cause you have built a whole thing over here
Speaker:that makes no sense against them.
Speaker:But what we do is we carry this.
Speaker:So go and pick that offense up and you bring it back to me.
Speaker:Now I'm all of a sudden,
Speaker:Cole's coming up to me
Speaker:and he puts this offense right in my face.
Speaker:And he says, look what you did.
Speaker:Look how you hurt me.
Speaker:Look what this did to me.
Speaker:Look how this felt.
Speaker:And then he puts it down and he says, but I forgive you.
Speaker:And I'm just supposed to be okay.
Speaker:Oh, okay.
Speaker:And we're supposed to go back to, no,
Speaker:that's not how it works.
Speaker:That's not how it works.
Speaker:Stay right there.
Speaker:When someone mistreats you,
Speaker:when someone mistreat, when you feel,
Speaker:even if you have assumed they have mistreated you,
Speaker:there is instruction in the Word
Speaker:of what you're supposed to do.
Speaker:It says this, pray for the one who mistreats you.
Speaker:Pray for the one.
Speaker:Pray for them, what?
Speaker:God, do you not know what they did?
Speaker:God bless them, God bless them, whatever.
Speaker:Right, that's our prayer.
Speaker:God, whatever, just touch their life, whatever.
Speaker:Let them breathe tomorrow.
Speaker:Hope they put on some shoes when they go outside, whatever.
Speaker:And we start praying these meaningless prayers.
Speaker:Why?
Speaker:Because we want them to know.
Speaker:We want them to feel our pain.
Speaker:We want them to hurt like we hurt.
Speaker:But aren't you glad that the Savior of the world
Speaker:didn't make you hurt the way He hurt before forgiving you?
Speaker:Because here's the thing, guys,
Speaker:God does not just dispense love.
Speaker:The Word tells us that God is love.
Speaker:And He lives inside you, and I hate to tell you this,
Speaker:no, I love to tell you this,
Speaker:love holds no record of wrongs.
Speaker:No record is not some record.
Speaker:It's not the record that wasn't tarnished.
Speaker:It wasn't the record that, well,
Speaker:but this situation is an exception.
Speaker:Love holds no record of wrong.
Speaker:What that means is, is when you wake up the next day,
Speaker:it's as if nothing ever happened.
Speaker:And even more so, your relationship is deeper the next day
Speaker:than before whatever happened happened.
Speaker:Love holds no record of wrong.
Speaker:And how are we able to live there and why?
Speaker:How do we know that that's how we're supposed to live
Speaker:for one another?
Speaker:It's because this is what forgiveness looks like.
Speaker:Jesus sacrificed His life saying, forgive them, God,
Speaker:they have no idea what they are doing, what they have done.
Speaker:And so the correct posture is, Cole, go on back.
Speaker:The correct posture is, I'm over here,
Speaker:and Cole needs to start with forgiveness.
Speaker:He needs to forgive me.
Speaker:And I didn't really even do anything.
Speaker:Remember the scenario?
Speaker:But he's got to do forgiveness.
Speaker:Do you know that forgiveness is really for you?
Speaker:When you forgive someone, it's liberating you.
Speaker:So he starts with a position of forgiveness,
Speaker:but you don't do that by coming with the offense
Speaker:and shoving it in the person's face.
Speaker:You take that offense and you give it to the Lord.
Speaker:So I want you to take that
Speaker:and I want you to give it to the Lord, just lay it down.
Speaker:And so now he's in a posture
Speaker:because he's no longer holding onto the offense.
Speaker:Now he has something that he can actually hold onto.
Speaker:He can have something.
Speaker:And before he even tries to come over in my vicinity,
Speaker:God needs to remind Cole about who he is.
Speaker:God needs to do some heart surgery in Cole.
Speaker:God needs to tell Cole some truths about God's character.
Speaker:He needs to fuel Cole.
Speaker:Because guys, that's where the source comes from.
Speaker:Cole wasn't getting any of that from me.
Speaker:I was enjoying the source with him.
Speaker:Your source is not the people next to you.
Speaker:Your source is God.
Speaker:Your source is the Lord.
Speaker:And so he goes and he starts to get filled up.
Speaker:And as he's on that process, he is now forgiven.
Speaker:In his heart, he has forgiven me for what he assumed I did.
Speaker:But guys, let me tell you something.
Speaker:There's another part of it.
Speaker:And the next part is reconciliation.
Speaker:Forgiveness and reconciliation are two different things.
Speaker:So he is now forgiven
Speaker:and now he needs to start walking the process
Speaker:of reconciliation.
Speaker:And what that looks like is coming to me,
Speaker:coming to the one that presumably offended him
Speaker:and humbly apologizing,
Speaker:saying, man, I've created distance
Speaker:and would you please forgive me?
Speaker:I don't want this chasm between us.
Speaker:I miss the intimate connection we had.
Speaker:Notice he's not saying anything about me
Speaker:not going to the show.
Speaker:Why?
Speaker:Because the Lord's already fixed that idea in his head.
Speaker:Because it wasn't in keeping with my character.
Speaker:But let's say he does say that.
Speaker:Let's say in the context he's like,
Speaker:just he kind of, he happens to say,
Speaker:hey, listen, you know, it started with the fact
Speaker:that you didn't go to my show and that kind of hurt me.
Speaker:And I could say, dude, I'm so sorry that hurt you, man.
Speaker:I was, my Ruby was throwing up
Speaker:and all of a sudden Ruby's throwing up.
Speaker:It locks everything in his mind
Speaker:that he's just spent a whole year
Speaker:severing our relationship off of a non-truth.
Speaker:Off of a perception that was not true.
Speaker:Because we brought and introduced truth
Speaker:in the reality into the situation.
Speaker:And so now there's reconciliation.
Speaker:When we are reconciled to Christ,
Speaker:guess what we have to do?
Speaker:It's not just he dies on the cross
Speaker:and we're reconciled to Christ.
Speaker:He dies on the cross and we have to repent.
Speaker:We have to turn from our, there is a step there.
Speaker:We have to repent from our sin.
Speaker:There's a step here.
Speaker:There's a change that has to happen,
Speaker:an interchange in this reconciliation
Speaker:so that we can get back to this posture.
Speaker:And let me tell you guys something.
Speaker:Anytime I've gone through this process with someone,
Speaker:I am closer today with them than I ever have been before.
Speaker:Because it takes vulnerability, it takes transparency.
Speaker:And you wanna talk about true grit and intimacy.
Speaker:That is whenever you can bear all
Speaker:and you can flesh out life together with someone.
Speaker:Because the next time I don't show up to Cole's show
Speaker:or there's a different example.
Speaker:Cole has learned the hard way.
Speaker:And he has now seen what my character,
Speaker:not that I'm perfect, I'll probably mess up.
Speaker:The next time I may really, really offend him.
Speaker:I may actually really say something.
Speaker:Hey man, I don't really like that white shirt.
Speaker:But guess what?
Speaker:We're close enough to that.
Speaker:If friends say, whoa, whoa, whoa, come here.
Speaker:Man, I know you don't like my white shirt,
Speaker:but man, the way you said that really kind of hurt me.
Speaker:And because I love Cole, I can react two ways.
Speaker:I can love him or I can react out of my flesh.
Speaker:Because it's a two way street.
Speaker:I can say, man, you're so dumb.
Speaker:Get over the whole shirt thing.
Speaker:Why?
Speaker:Why do we act like that?
Speaker:Because we don't like to be wrong.
Speaker:I cannot control how Cole feels.
Speaker:But what I can do is ask him to forgive me
Speaker:because he has perceived I've wronged him.
Speaker:Man, Kevin, you said you didn't like my shirt.
Speaker:That kind of hurt me.
Speaker:Man, I am so sorry.
Speaker:I did not mean, will you please forgive me?
Speaker:I appreciate it.
Speaker:I don't have to then say, oh, I love your shirt.
Speaker:'Cause that's a lie.
Speaker:I didn't like his shirt.
Speaker:(congregation laughing)
Speaker:Right?
Speaker:It's not about lying so you can soothe it over.
Speaker:I can be real.
Speaker:His accusation was,
Speaker:I didn't like the way that you conveyed that.
Speaker:Maybe I need to shut my mouth
Speaker:and stop telling him how I feel about his shirts.
Speaker:Because nothing that comes out of my mouth,
Speaker:everything that comes out of my mouth should be uplifting.
Speaker:Then now what the scripture says,
Speaker:let nothing unwholesome come out of your mouth.
Speaker:Right?
Speaker:Is that not?
Speaker:So that's not uplifting.
Speaker:What if I would have come up to him and said,
Speaker:man, Cole, let me tell you something.
Speaker:I appreciate how much you love me.
Speaker:I appreciate the way that you so, so in musically
Speaker:behind closed doors and you're writing songs, man.
Speaker:I'm building my friend up.
Speaker:I'm talking about the things that I really do enjoy
Speaker:and I really do see in him.
Speaker:And that deepens our connection of intimacy.
Speaker:Amen?
Speaker:Amen.
Speaker:Thank you.
Speaker:Give Cole a hand.
Speaker:(congregation applauding)
Speaker:Guys, this is important.
Speaker:This is important because over the next several weeks,
Speaker:we're going to lean into the Holy Spirit of God.
Speaker:The Holy Spirit is real.
Speaker:He is alive today.
Speaker:He is active in your life.
Speaker:He wants to be an active part of your life.
Speaker:But here's what's gonna happen
Speaker:when we start getting into this.
Speaker:You're gonna start to recognize offenses
Speaker:that you did not know that you had.
Speaker:You're gonna start to recognize places of potential conflict
Speaker:that you didn't know were there
Speaker:because the Holy Spirit wants there to be nothing
Speaker:that stops you from your relationship
Speaker:and connection with God Almighty.
Speaker:And so he's going to illuminate.
Speaker:I don't like turning on lights in my house sometimes
Speaker:because I see all the crap everywhere.
Speaker:If I can just turn the lights off,
Speaker:I don't have to deal with it.
Speaker:Anybody else?
Speaker:Throw them in the closet, close the door.
Speaker:The Holy Spirit has a big magnifying glass and flashlight,
Speaker:not so that you can stand condemned.
Speaker:You don't have to be condemned because of that right there.
Speaker:But he poses a big flashlight on it because he says,
Speaker:there's something so much better for you.
Speaker:There's something so much you are missing out
Speaker:on a relationship that is gonna bless your socks off.
Speaker:Let's clean this up and you don't have to do it alone.
Speaker:Let's be a church who purposes to lay down offenses,
Speaker:who purposes to handle conflict the biblical way,
Speaker:who believes in the truth of what God's word says
Speaker:more so than the chatter around us about other people.
Speaker:Let us let Springhouse be a place
Speaker:where gossip goes to die, where we walk in authenticity,
Speaker:and where we love Jesus in a real way.
Speaker:Because at the end of that Acts 2 passage,
Speaker:it says numbers were added to them every single day.
Speaker:Every single day.
Speaker:And you know what happens?
Speaker:Those people come inside and they're bringing
Speaker:all of this stuff that we just talked about from the outside
Speaker:and they're gonna come in here and be introduced
Speaker:to a new way of doing things.
Speaker:A kingdom way with a king who knows how to bring unity
Speaker:to every situation, to bring healing to every situation,
Speaker:and knows how to bring reconciliation
Speaker:in a way that the world has no clue.
Speaker:Would you guys stand with me this morning
Speaker:with the worship team come back?
Speaker:Here's what we're gonna do
Speaker:with those who will pray come forward.
Speaker:Today was not a goosebump word, okay?
Speaker:But it's a liberating word.
Speaker:In a group this size, what, there's 250 people here,
Speaker:300 people, hey, listen.
Speaker:There are people who are holding onto offenses here.
Speaker:There are people who are in the middle of conflict.
Speaker:There are people who have not stepped
Speaker:into the territory of forgiveness.
Speaker:And it's tough and it's hard.
Speaker:Remember I talked about exercise?
Speaker:I don't necessarily expect it could happen.
Speaker:Not necessarily expect if you come forward today
Speaker:and you start to confess it that all of a sudden
Speaker:you walk out of here and everything is just great.
Speaker:There's some work to do.
Speaker:But the first step is the recognition that you are trapped.
Speaker:Just the acknowledgement.
Speaker:And you can't do anything about it.
Speaker:Some of you tried to do something about it
Speaker:and it led you to a bottle
Speaker:or it led you to an unhealthy relationship.
Speaker:It led you to vices.
Speaker:No, God Almighty wants to meet you
Speaker:right in the middle of the trap
Speaker:and He wants to liberate you today.
Speaker:And the first step is just the acknowledgement.
Speaker:Come to one of these brothers or sisters and just say,
Speaker:hey, you don't have to get the details if you don't want.
Speaker:Just say I'm trapped and I need out.
Speaker:And they will pray for the Holy Spirit
Speaker:to come and give you the strength and power
Speaker:to start walking out these steps.
Speaker:Maybe you've been the one who has offered the offense
Speaker:and you realize that.
Speaker:And you need to go to the person and you need to apologize.
Speaker:You need to make things right,
Speaker:but you don't know how to do that.
Speaker:Maybe there's been a lot of time
Speaker:in between point A and point B
Speaker:and you're just like, I don't know.
Speaker:I'm telling you, guys, it's not happenstance
Speaker:that you're here today.
Speaker:What I'm talking about,
Speaker:there's so much we can talk about here at church.
Speaker:So many, we can talk about sin, all these things.
Speaker:But when we get to the places of reconciliation,
Speaker:I believe that is the very heartbeat of God.
Speaker:We are talking about real important things.
Speaker:The third group that might need to come,
Speaker:and guys, this is me.
Speaker:God, search my heart.
Speaker:I don't know.
Speaker:I don't want to walk in offense.
Speaker:Maybe I've offended somebody that I love
Speaker:and I want to make that right.
Speaker:God, maybe you need to tell me
Speaker:and I've been blind and numb
Speaker:and I'm seeing this person all the time
Speaker:and they're reading all over them, but I don't know.
Speaker:God, would you search my heart
Speaker:because I don't want there to be any aughts
Speaker:with any of my brothers or sisters.
Speaker:Maybe that's you today
Speaker:and I would invite you to come as a step of faith.
Speaker:Say, Lord, I wanna be more like you.
Speaker:I want to see your face in my situation
Speaker:and in my relationships.
Speaker:So would you come this morning
Speaker:and allow the Holy Spirit of God to minister to your heart
Speaker:and to reconcile things this morning.
Speaker:Let's worship.