Description: From TSA agents running "Security Theater 3.0" to pacemakers playing the Mario theme when you're trying to get laid, we're all just outdated hardware waiting for the next model that doom-scrolls 20% more efficiently.

Spice Index: 🌶️🌶️🌶️🌶️

When TRUMP stumbles into tech prophecy, it's like watching a gorilla accidentally write Shakespeare by throwing feces at a keyboard. We're hyper-connected zombies—not because technology is inherently evil, but because our monkey brains were never designed to handle dopamine slot machines disguised as social connection. We didn't evolve for this digital hellscape; we evolved to throw spears and gossip around fires.