In this episode, we dive deep into the remarkable story of Erin, who candidly shares her past struggles with addiction and the occult, ultimately leading to her powerful redemption through faith in Jesus Christ. Erin's narrative is not merely one of personal struggle but also an exploration of the spiritual battles that ensue when one delves into practices that flirt with the demonic. Her early life, characterized by significant emotional trauma and a lack of spiritual guidance, left her vulnerable to the allure of substances and spiritual practices that promised peace but delivered chaos. Erin recounts her encounter with a couple who introduced her to Christ, a moment that was pivotal in her journey toward healing and redemption.

Takeaways:

1. Erin's journey demonstrates the transformative power of faith in overcoming personal struggles with substance abuse and the occult.
2. The discussion emphasizes the importance of community and accountability in fostering spiritual growth and healing.
3. Through her testimony, Erin illustrates how God's grace leads to redemption and a new identity in Christ.
4. The episode highlights the dangers of dabbling in spiritual practices outside of Christianity and the importance of discernment in spiritual matters.
5. Erin's experience underscores that true fulfillment comes from a relationship with Jesus, not from worldly pursuits or substances.
6. The podcast encourages listeners to boldly share their faith and support others in their spiritual journeys.

Links referenced in this episode:

1. Lamplight Ministries

Foreign.

Welcome to the Abundant Life Podcast, bringing you encouragement and challenging believers to spiritual change and growth by applying biblical principles to everyday life.

And now your hosts, Sasso Mendez and Ben Arellano.

Welcome, everybody, to the Abundant Live Podcast.

This is episode number seven four, and I'm here with my good friend at Faithful Sermon in the Faith, Sasso Mendez.

Hey, Ben.

How's it going?

Oh, it's going, bro.

We're slacking.

I know.

It's okay.

We got a lot going on.

Know what I mean?

We didn't say wow.

Wow.

That's for you.

You know who you are.

Easter eggs.

Yeah.

You don't listen anyway, but that's okay.

When you choose to.

When I'm gone, no longer here, and you listen to this, you think of me.

All right, well, we do have a special guest all the way from Rhode Island.

Pastor's gonna ask you one more time, where are you from again?

Massachusetts.

Massachusetts.

In that area?

New England area.

Yes.

All right, we have Aaron Flynn.

Hello.

Hi.

Welcome.

All the way in.

Not for this episode, but we thought we'd combine it.

And trying to get Aaron on for quite some time.

I think I've asked, I don't know, maybe a year ago.

Yeah, initially.

Yes.

Yeah.

Now's the time.

That's how I worked with Rebecca, too.

Asked her and then took time.

And, yeah, like algae, they grew on the rock.

So welcome.

Welcome to Life podcast.

Glad you're here.

Thank you for having me.

I feel really honored and I'm a huge fan, so.

So I'm really excited to be a.

Part of this faithful listener.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yes, I am.

Yeah.

You and my mom.

Thank you two listeners.

And your mom been as well.

Three.

Good job, mijo.

You are the best.

Well, as you know, this is taco talk, and yes, we've been asked to keep it short today, so we'll do our best.

Yeah, I can't promise anything, but we'll do our best.

Yeah, we'll do our best.

So, Aaron, what?

I know you guys went to dinner tonight, but what when you think of a typical meal that you look forward to or you want to dine somewhere, like, what's your.

What pleases the palate?

Yeah.

So I've been thinking about this, and I listened to a few episodes.

I'm a big Quick Trip fan.

I'm gonna Right off the rip.

I'm gonna let you know, Carlos Taquito from Quick Trip.

That's like my comfort meal for chicken.

The steak one they have a stick the steak taquito.

They do, bro.

You're sleeping on it.

You really have been inside of a QT and like I'm and seek champion there.

You're missing out.

Quick trip is very.

I like their tea.

They.

Yes, they have everything you need.

The last time I went is when we went to visitation at the park.

And remember afterwards you went.

That's the last time I went.

That's a hot minute, bro.

Yeah.

Cuz we haven't gone to that park.

It's been a while.

Yeah.

And I apologize.

Dr. Flynn here.

Oh, please don't with us.

Aaron's fine.

Yes.

Okay.

All right.

But meals that I look forward to.

I'm a big like sushi person.

Pokey.

I think it's pronounced like the bowls with different options.

Yeah, yeah.

Pastor took me there one time and I, I. Yeah, I didn't know what anything was and it, you know, I. Yeah, it was different.

I'll take some white rice.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It was the one over here at dirty 30.

Oh, I really enjoy that one.

Yeah, I. I just never had been there and didn't know what everything.

Pokey.

Another word for surprise or you get to.

You get to choose it.

Yeah, it's like that memes.

Surprise.

Surprise.

I love that.

Yes.

Yeah, pretty much.

I think it's funny because when I think when Pastor takes you out, he never like, he says you, where do you want to go?

And then you.

And then he just goes somewhere else.

It's Taglianis or Pokey.

To me it was Chipotle.

Oh, wow.

You got Chipotle.

I would have taken Chipotle, bro.

I mean, Taglianis and what's Tagliani's?

It's Italian.

It's nice.

But you know, when he's paying, I don't want to, so I get it.

Salad, you know, that's nice of you.

You know, so I don't want to, you know.

Yeah.

Indulge.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What about you guys?

What's been.

Chicken parm or something.

You know, get something.

I would, but, you know, maybe now.

I didn't buy you.

Yeah, maybe now what do we like?

I mean, recently I've heard some of your thoughts.

Buffalo wild Wings, right?

I get burned out on that.

I'm.

I mean, I went today because it's by work, but I get burned out on it because it's like.

Well, three or four times a week does burn you out.

If I run.

Really start to fly.

That's how much wings I've had lately.

Yeah, I like it.

Because I don't go as I go once a week with.

With sauce.

So I'm one of his four.

You know, he's got Marty, me, and he's got a couple of people on rotation sometimes his team, you know, so.

But I got to work and Marty, that's the first thing he said is Marty the Mormon.

He said, Marty the Mormon.

We'll pray for him.

We got to pray for Marty.

Yes, I'm sure he's praying for me, but it just, it's not going nowhere.

No offense, Marty.

And he's like, hey, we, are you ready for beat ups today?

And I'm like, yeah, sure.

My favorite restaurant, I would say probably out of everything right now is probably Matt's.

Matt's Big Breakfast.

I remember you talking about that last episode.

I love Matt's.

Good.

The pancakes, right?

You thought those.

Not usually pancakes, but I can't have the pancakes.

You know, my doctor said pump the brakes on your A1C.

So summer pancakes are not.

But I do love them.

Moderation, right.

One a month.

I'm all gas, no breaks.

You know what I mean?

That's my problem with food.

I mean, even one pancake there is.

It's pretty big, you know, it's like a plate is so good.

I mean, it's 100 Maple, so it's good.

They give you real butter.

I mean, so it's, it's phenomenal.

It's just, it's.

And it tastes really good.

Oh, it's one.

It's funny is I went to Vermont, right?

And I found this drunk farmer and it was like 2 o' clock in the afternoon and I bought some maple syrup from him.

And I got Rebecca cutting board and I had a maple syrup shipped to Ben.

And I still have my bottle.

Ben was done with that bottle, like in a month.

I think I bought you another one, Right.

For Christmas or something.

It was the best maple syrup I've ever had.

Yeah.

Because they like tap the trees, like literally tapped the trees straight off the tree.

He threw some cinnamon in there and it was phenomenal.

I mean, it was.

Was he actually drunk?

Yeah, he was a little.

All right.

You could probably trust him then.

Buzz drinking.

Yeah, Buzz drinking is, you know, still, still drinking.

Yeah, yeah.

It was o' clock in the afternoon.

He had like a little shed, like a, you know, like a nice wood shed.

And he sold.

He had a big property, you know, he had those bridges, those, those wood cover bridges that you see back on the East Coast.

Yeah.

Over the water, you know, so it was right by his house.

And he was.

I've talked to him outside of that just because I've ordered stuff from him.

Really nice guy.

But I still have my bottle and Ben is like.

He drinks it like it's a nectar.

It really is.

I mean.

Well, I like my pancake swimming.

Oh, yeah.

Butter and syrup.

Like it's just like it swimming.

I can't even see it, bro.

I can't even see the pancake no more like.

That's what I'm saying.

Baptized, bro.

Dunked.

Behold.

Wow.

It's deep, man.

So, yeah, Ben likes some maple syrup.

But just maple syrup.

No, I mean, I'm just, just kidding.

Well, in this year though, I've, you know, I've cut back on a lot of stuff.

So I've been.

I've been doing pretty good this year.

Did you cut back on the maple syrup?

Yeah, I have not had maple syrup this year.

Wow.

I've not had.

Actually I've had no sugar this year.

Wow.

If I have to.

I mean, if you count potatoes, I don't know, it's a starch.

Dan's like the burrito, bro.

I know.

No, that's amazing.

Yeah.

You know, potatoes, maybe carrots.

I don't know if that counts, but you know, you know, beans.

I don't know.

I think it's impossible to not have carbs.

Yeah.

Somebody.

People equate it to sweets, but carbs are in everything.

They're milk, juice, French fries.

They're really.

They're really good for you.

Like the right ones.

It sounds like mostly processed sugar is what you're avoiding, maybe.

Correct.

Yeah.

Cuz that's not great for your body.

Yeah.

And I say, but you know, my diet doesn't reflect that, but it's.

I can understand why you're avoiding it.

Yeah.

I've been trying to at least, but you know, I've been eating a lot better this year, I think.

I mean, a month down, most people quit their.

Their New Year's resolutions within like the first week.

Right.

There's some statistic about that.

They say if you can keep a habit for 21 days, you probably will hang on to it.

So that true?

That is.

But it's going pretty good so far.

Because it depends who you are.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

Your name's David Goggins maybe, you know.

Right.

Makes a lot of sense.

Yeah.

For peanuts, not so much.

How are you feeling without sugar?

I love it.

It's great.

Like, I'm.

I'm feeling pretty good.

I like, because I'm a Meat guy.

Anyway, so I don't mind.

I mean, I protein like crazy.

I don't care.

I love eggs, I love meat, I love chicken.

So it's.

Thank you, Christy.

Christy came with like three and a half dozen the other night.

Oh, wow.

Freedom of last how?

Yeah, her testimony was incredible.

And I heard about all of her amazing animals.

Oh, yeah, a lot of chickens.

Her chicken eggs are pretty good, too.

We've had.

We've had a few dozen of those and they're pretty good.

Yeah, they're little, they're small, but they're good.

They're really good.

When they're free, you can have eight.

Yeah, I know, right?

Delicious caged eggs.

Yeah.

I'm just hoping that she gets pigs, you know, I mean, bacon.

That bacon at Matt's, though.

That bacon and Matt's is phenomenal.

Is it like a thick cut?

They got some peppercorns on it.

It's just.

It's so good.

It's really good.

Yeah, it's a little peppery.

So if you don't like pepper, it's not for you.

But Marty will always get a side of bacon.

And today he told me, my wife's going out of town.

Rosindo.

So you know what that means.

Oh, man.

We're going to Matt's on Saturday.

I'm like, let's do it.

His wife hates on him for math.

She doesn't like it as much as neither is Rebecca.

I mean, she gave me 50 bucks for Christmas and then Marty gave me 30 bucks for Mats specifically.

Okay.

So I have like 14 left.

I have a gift card for B Dubs, and then I have all those points for B Dubs.

But the good thing about B Dubs is it's.

It's fried and beef tallow.

So the wings are fried in beef tallow.

So, you know, it's a little healthier option.

That's what.

Yeah, I was going to say that's supposed to be good for you.

And I usually do a salad.

I've been doing salad this year.

I've been trying not to cheat.

Usually I sometimes will cheat with French fries, but I've been trying not to cheat.

So there's no sugar in French fries.

Yeah.

Yeah.

My love handles will disagree.

Yeah.

But, yeah, I didn't get no B Dubs gift cards this year, so.

But my work gave me $200 for my 10th anniversary.

And you can get bdubs.

Or they got several options in there.

Arch Drums, Nike, Nordstrom, Nike, and then Shields.

Shields is probably my favorite store right now.

I'm digging on that.

They got a.

It's a sporting goods store.

Okay.

It's huge.

But they have everything you could possibly think of.

Like, they have a cornhole, professional cornholes, lights, weights, guns.

It's like.

It's like a dicks and a cabela's like, like, merged out a baby.

And the baby is better looking than both parents.

That's what chills is.

You know what I mean?

That's the cute one.

Like, two ugly people make a cute bab.

There you go.

Right there.

Yep.

They got a Ferris wheel in the middle of the store.

That's crazy.

Rebecca said she was a little sketched out because she said went a little faster than she thought.

And that's why I don't.

It's like a dollar.

That's why I don't get on there.

I've never written it.

Wait, she went on there by herself?

No, she went with Kate.

Oh, I love that.

But we have been on trips when it's her and I and she wants to go on a roller coaster, and I let her.

It could be the.

The hunkiest man in the park.

I don't care.

Like, I'm not going to.

There's a lot to unpack there.

But your confidence.

Yeah.

Like, I'll be here waiting for you.

And I love that she's brave enough to go do it anyway.

You know, she's.

As the years go by, she gets less brave.

Like when we were first married, like, she would have bungee jumped off of the Eiffel Tower.

Now she won't even get on the roof.

Or maybe she's just telling me that because you don't want to work.

Yeah.

Okay.

I don't know.

You know what I mean?

Smart.

Smart move.

Either way.

Well, it's like that ride that we saw.

Was it.

What was.

What was that park we went to in Dallas?

Six Flags.

Yeah.

Wasn't there a ride where, like, it was literally hanging you upside down?

I mean, I'm good for a good coaster, but that was just like, you're hanging literally upside down.

It's like.

Yeah, just kind of strapped in.

I.

Well, one time I went to amusement park with this girl I liked, and I went on every ride and I was, like, crying inside.

When I got home, I took a hot shower and cried in my pillow for hours because I was just.

And pent up.

Were you nauseous or just anxious?

Scared?

Yeah.

Okay, well, that was.

See, we tuck our emotions deep down inside.

I was like, yeah, white knuckle on it through.

Open your eyes.

I'm like, I can't.

You know, there's probably a correlation to the story I'm going to share about getting through life without Christ there, you know, just trying to hold on for the ride and then crying when no one's looking.

Yeah, I just let it go, bro.

I scream, let it go.

That's fun.

They remove my tear ducts too.

I try not to.

I mean, I figure if I'm gonna go, I'm gonna.

I mean, it's.

What are you gonna do?

You're going 60 miles an hour, whatever, like you're done.

Like, might as well just let go.

And just let God let go and let go.

When I went to Disneyland, that's what I did.

I just opened my eyes and I enjoyed it.

And I said, if it's my time, it's my time, right?

I can't, I can't fight it.

But for the most part, I just close my eyes and clench as hard as I can to the polls or whoever's there.

Even if it's, you know, somebody, 80 year old lady, like, I'm breaking her leg because I'm squeezing it.

I'm just terrified.

But how do you do on airplanes?

That don't bother me.

So what I used to do, this was a superstition that I had to get rid of.

Like God convicted me of it because before we get on the plane, I would rub the side of it.

Oh, I literally did that on the way here.

Take, take, you know, take good care of us.

Yes.

It's not, it's not the plane, it's God.

Right.

So I quit doing that.

And then when we used to, you know, in that position where you're supplying that, you know, at the.

I don't know what, that 45 degree angle, maybe I would prank, you know, I. I still try to pray, but I'm not scared.

I will tell you a funny story.

We probably got to get into the podcast, but I was going to San Antonio for work and I was seated.

There was me, this girl and my friend at the end.

And we started to taxi and we started to take off and suddenly I feel a hand on my leg, you know, and I was like, looked over at her, her eyes were closed.

And then that hand with nails in there clenched into my leg.

Ouch.

Yeah.

Wow.

And then I was like, oh, this is weird.

I'm married.

And is this.

What is this?

And then I looked and she was doing it to my friend too.

She was terrified.

She never mentioned it ever again.

She didn't say, oh, guys, I'm so sorry.

I get scared when I fly.

She just.

Maybe she thought it was her own.

She just didn't realize.

Maybe she dissociated.

Yeah, bro.

That I was scared when I got back home because I had four nail marks in my thigh.

Okay, that's fair.

Yeah, she's like.

Like, she was terrified and she's like, you know what?

I hate to tell you guys this, but I gotta go home a day early.

The family things.

And I'm like, thankful Lord.

Did you know her?

Yeah, she was on my.

She was on our team at work.

Oh, okay.

And she just never brought it up again.

She never said, I'm sorry, guys, or, hey, I'm sorry about your knee or your thigh, you know, to file a harassment claim.

I could have went to HR after that.

I showed him the evidence.

I chose not to.

All right, let's.

Let's get into it.

Sorry, Rebecca would be like, you went too long.

We're going to get confused.

I told you to keep it short.

All right, well, we are on social media.

You can find us at meta.

So you can find us on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter.

We are also on Tik Tok now, but mostly on YouTube.

So if you tick tock, get a lot of hate.

Bro, you said, I haven't looked on there because I don't have a tick tock.

I don't.

I don't look.

It was mostly on the Charlie Kirk episode.

We got a lot of hate.

Okay.

And I think Peter got some love, which is cool.

But anyway, either way, talk about ice.

Or something that we really get some made up in here.

All right, let's not talk about that.

So anyway, it's also gonna kick us off with verse of the day.

Yeah.

Second Corinthians 5:17.

We say this every week at Freedom that lasts.

If you don't know what that is and send me a message and I'll invite you.

But this is a very powerful verse.

It's probably one of my favorite verses in the Bible because it talks about redemption and change, and that's what God does in our lives, and that's why Aaron's here today.

Second Corinthians 5:17 says, Therefore, if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature.

Old things are passed away.

Behold, all things are become new.

And Aaron, with that, kind of start us off with your story and.

And how God made all things new in your life.

Or maybe even take us a little further back, maybe, you know, tell us a little about yourself.

And then, you know.

Yeah.

Because you Have a story?

Yeah.

Okay.

Well, thank you.

So I was raised in Montana by two middle class, hard working parents that tried their best.

I have two older sisters.

You know, I think a lot of people would say that their childhood wasn't perfect.

I did experience quite a bit of hurt at the hand of a close family member and my parents weren't aware of it.

And so we struggled with communication and that for the following 10 years that that happened.

We didn't talk and, you know, just weighed heavy on our hearts and it changed the way we interact with one another.

So I did not grow up in a religious household.

They read the Bible to us sometimes and there was a picture of Jesus on the wall of our living room, but it wasn't.

There was no fruit.

And my parents grew up Catholic, so they had a lot of hurt from the things they had experienced.

They didn't feel the presence of Jesus Christ and they drew away from it and thought they were protecting us, which in hindsight they definitely were.

I used to get so upset that I wasn't baptized growing up.

And now I'm so happy that it's a conscious decision that we all make to choose Jesus Christ as our savior, to let him into our hearts.

And so I got to do that as an adult and I was living in my flesh a lot.

That hurt that I experienced as a child manifested in my adult relationships.

And I was selfish and blasphemed and lied and all of the sins against our good God that you could think of, I did happily.

And I was living in darkness.

And right around Covid, I was in.

I was in a long term relationship with someone I was engaged to for about seven years.

And we just never moved forward with marriage, which at the time it gave me a lot of anger towards him and resentment.

And now I see it as a blessing because I wasn't prepared to be a wife.

I didn't know anything about the sanctity of marriage, so God protected me from that.

And right around Covid, I was in my second year of vet school and I was, as the rest of the world was, overwhelmed and scared with the state of things.

And I had no savior.

So I was just out in the water with no buoy, drowning, and I found substance.

I started smoking a lot of marijuana.

And that put me in touch with spirit.

And I want to try to be very clear about this because I think it's important in this day and age to address the fact that spirit is very real, but the Holy Spirit is supreme.

And people, myself included, are drawn to the feelings that can be elicited from the devil through spiritual acts.

So examples of this would be tarot cards or reiki, which is a hands on healing technique or hands off healing technique.

And these are all demonic things.

But I was drawn to them because my spirit was being interacted with instead of my flesh.

And all of these things only touched me in my spirit because I was at an altered state of consciousness.

So I had, I, yes, I had to be high to engage with these things.

And one of the things that struck me when I was reflecting on telling this story was Pharaoh in Egypt, right?

So his magicians, they could transiently replicate the miracles of God, but it wasn't anything like that.

And so that's what I would, I would say doing those things honestly, working with a shaman, which now I'm creeped out by, it drew me into the spirit realm, but in ways that were short lived.

And so I saw, I got addicted to the feeling that I would say, like those magicians could elicit that Pharaoh was distracted by because it's very real.

Everything in this world is spiritual.

So I lived in that part of my life, that season of my life of addiction and occult practices for a few years and my relationship fell apart and I was about to graduate vet school and you know, it's all God's divine timing.

So we were living in this big beautiful house in Peoria that I thought I was going to fill with a family.

And we were truly just roommates because we had broken up and I graduated and I thought that vet school was going to answer all of my prayers.

I was going to feel fulfilled and happy and instead I was just struck with anxiety all the time and overwhelmed and feeling under supported at home and at work.

I'm Rebecca Mendez with Lamplight Ministries where I serve the Lord by loving others.

Through biblical counseling and workshops.

Every day we're reminded of our fallen world through disappointment, grief, fear, despair.

We need a Savior.

And in Jesus Christ we have that Savior.

He came to rescue us, offering his Spirit to guide us and his Word to comfort, correct and lead us.

If you're a follower of Christ, eager to grow in him, I'd be honored to walk this journey with you through one on one biblical counseling.

Together we'll explore God's word, find encouragement and pursue faithful obedience to our Savior.

Please Visit me at lamplightministries.com to book your appointment today.

And a family moves in next door.

Perfect family.

They just elicit joy and, like, class decorum.

And at this point, I am getting shamanic work regularly.

I am.

I had a professor at vet school who tried to train me in witchcraft.

I'm in it, and I'm not happy, but it feels like the only thing that is real, right?

Because it's touching my spirit, but it's not.

It's not of God, so it's not fulfilling me outwardly.

It's just in those moments where I let the devil have me and control of my mind, essentially.

I was feeling something.

All the other times I wasn't doing those things.

I was just feeling numb, honestly.

And so my older sister, Kayla, she's always been of God.

I don't know how to explain it, but she sent me my first Bible, and we would read together, my sisters and I, and it brought a lot of healing to us.

We would be able to move through traumatic experiences that we had never talked about just by reading God's word and then trusting one another again.

And that was really nice.

And one day I was out on my patio reading, and this family next door was just out, you know, being happy.

And I was like, man, this is frustrating.

Like, they're just joyous and I'm miserable.

And so that went on for maybe a week or two.

And I think I remember writing in my journal, like, they're living rent free in my head, I think I said that when I got baptized, and I couldn't understand why God, at the time, I didn't know, but I couldn't understand why they had.

I was thinking about them so much.

And so one day I came home from work, and at the time, I was working for a boss that now I realize was trying to connect with me.

But I wasn't in a spot where I was receptive.

I was just scared and anxious and wanting to prove myself.

So I was getting out of the Jeep, and I heard someone say, jesus made you wonderfully and fearfully.

And I, like, stopped in my tracks, and I, like, didn't move because I felt in my heart like this pole.

And then this is Jeff.

Gracious.

Jesus loves you.

Yes, God is gracious.

So it's beautiful that he did this.

Yes.

Just incredible.

And then his wonderful wife Mary came up to me with a Bible track that Jeff Musgraves made the exchange, the smaller one, and invited me to church with them.

And I Wasn't a people person.

I would prefer to stay home and be comfortable.

But something told me to go.

And so I went with them that Sunday.

And I think I wept through the whole thing.

It.

So I had been dabbling with spirit, right?

I'd been dabbling with this realm of evil that masks itself as good and is dangerous.

And then I was basked in this peace, this soul covering peace that only Jesus Christ can provide.

And yeah, I just followed that.

And they moved weeks later, so just again giving it all to God, his timing.

And I moved weeks later too.

So I was at the end of that one year lease and I was lost.

And then I was found and I moved into my own place and I spent the next year or so vetting the church because I struggled to trust and listening.

So Pastor Schall had dare to stand.

And then there's family life, reading, like taking in resources to figure out what it all means, what this feeling inside of me means, hearing the word of God and feeling that feeling and matching the two together and saying, okay, this is where I'm supposed to be.

And he brought me to the Northwest Valley Baptist Church, and.

And then Mary sat down with me and Pastor Jason's wife and we did the first few parts of the exchange.

And then Sassa's.

Sasso's wife.

I'm sorry, Rebecca spent months, months going over the rest of it with me because I'm smart.

But this, it.

It required me to go really slow to, like, take in what it means to realize that God is holy and just and loving and gracious and.

Yeah, I gave my life to Christ.

After the ladies retreat, abiding Christ, where, you know, when you go on Sundays, everybody's got their Sunday best on.

We're all putting on a show.

Wouldn't be the right way to word it, but I'm sure you can understand.

Yeah, understand.

Yeah.

But going to Freedom that Lasts.

So Mary, before she left in July, brought me to a Freedom that Lasts meeting after the Ladies game night.

And that's where I saw real Christian love.

So I felt it at the church, but I saw it and I heard it at Freedom that Lasts.

And it was obedience.

It was consistency.

It was you and your wife running it every Friday.

It was you guys being there.

It was Denise cooking a meal almost every Friday night and people praying for me, asking about me, caring about the burdens that I was carrying so I don't have to feel so weighed down.

Hearing Heather just speak incredibly about the Lord, like, is She a prophet.

Like, that's the first thing I thought when I heard her, because she's just full of godly knowledge and the merit.

Everything.

Everything I learned at Freedom that Lasts helped affirm that this was exactly where God wanted me to be.

And so I remember when you first.

Came, like, you kind of ostracized yourself, which is fine.

Right.

You don't know us.

Yes, I was really scared.

Yeah.

And you guys were so kind and not overwhelming.

Right.

So you.

What's a lot to take in, right.

On your first.

Like.

Because a church, you can kind of blend in and they give a centralized message.

Yes.

But here in the last, it's a much smaller.

And you're sitting at a table with randos, right?

Yes.

And people sometimes say things they probably.

Shouldn'T say, but that's what makes it real.

And I think that's.

I think that's kind of the best part about it.

Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah.

You get to.

You get below the.

The surface.

Like you're seeing the tip of the iceberg on Sunday morning, but there you don't.

You're not seeing what's underneath the water, and that's what.

You'll see it.

And actually you won't see all of it, but you'll.

You'll see.

You'll see a little bit more.

But the more you get to know people as you.

As you know, right.

Your group, you know, the intimate details.

Well, of their life.

Right.

And what they struggle with, and they don't maybe share everything, but you know enough to really pray for people.

Right.

And where they're at, you might get.

The last four of the social, you know.

Yeah.

That's why I tell people, right.

You find one or two people, you give the Social Security number, and then the rest you give the last four digits.

You can't trust them with everything.

But I mean, just from the time that you left, right.

And they presented you with the Bible to the time you first came.

And I think of a lot of people like Heather, same thing, right.

Heather was known where.

Near where she's at now.

And just.

And that's God's work in your life.

And that's when we see that verse that you.

It's special to you.

Right.

Second Corinthians, 5:17, that all things are becoming you.

And as a new Christian and even as a veteran believer, God does bring out his word through his holy spirit in times of need and in times of tremendous trial.

Well, and even.

Even during that time period, too, I remember Jeff was constantly tagging me and Diane or Mary would hit up Diane, like, how's Aaron doing?

How's Aaron doing?

And so, like, it wasn't just the people I freedom.

Like, Like, Jeff was praying for you.

He was.

I mean, you know, Jeff's pretty real too.

You know what I mean?

And that's what I love about Jeff too.

Yes.

And.

But yeah, he was.

He was like, hey, man, is there in there?

Yeah, she's here tonight.

That was like my solace.

Is that the word?

I don't.

That was like my comfort at the end of a long week was.

And some days I didn't want to go, but when I went and fellowshipped with people who I was growing friendships with who.

What bad week?

You know, it's.

It's all okay.

Yeah.

And that was really.

It's funny because I was trying to pull this up here, but that's his last text to me.

Hey, Sasa, I hope you're doing well.

Hey, Mary and I are wondering how Aaron is doing.

Have you seen her, heard from her lately?

And then I said you moved.

And like pastor, I said Massachusetts as well.

Did you get.

Did she get married?

I said, nope.

Oh, I said she moved away.

Yeah.

But we're in contact.

So that was his last.

And that was January 20th is when he wrote me.

So I have a good feeling that him and Mary still pray for you and still care about you deeply.

Right?

Yes.

And without his.

And God gave Jeff a unique personality that he didn't give 99% of the world, but he uses that right for he gives us all special gifts and things to.

For the kingdom.

Right.

And we all contribute.

And if we are obedient to his will and to his voice, he all.

He gives us skills to relate to people in our own way.

Right.

Not everybody comes through different.

You know, you have Louis who's very off and takes long time to build trust.

And other people, you know that they'll jump right, right away, it will click.

And they're like, man, I love being here.

And you have the Tonys of the world that try to be tough guy and then eventually break down, you know, then hugs everybody at the start of freedom that lasts and.

Or hugs everybody's dog.

So I think that might be you too.

Oh, you know the dog hugger.

Yeah.

Little peachies.

Wait, peachy.

Don't.

If you hear this, I'm sorry.

I love you.

You're still my favorite.

So from there, right, You.

You come to freedom.

That last.

You start to grow.

How is God working in your life through that?

You said like Times I wouldn't want to come, but I come.

Do.

Would you ever regret coming?

No.

When you didn't want to come?

Absolutely not.

No.

I. I only ever felt better, especially when I didn't want to go.

Because it's rare to find people who truly care.

And yes, you can care about people in a worldly sense, right?

You can tell them, oh, everything's going to be okay.

But if you're not directing them back to Scripture, if you're not telling them God's truth about how they need to change their lives, if you want, I'm sure there's one of you could cooperate with God to change who you are, right?

What's the phrase?

You do what you do because you are what you are.

To change what you do, you must cooperate with God to change what you are.

Yes.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I was changing from the inside out, and I was so uncomfortable.

And these women, this group at Freedom that Lasts, cared for me and I was struggling and I was still trying to kick my substance abuse habit.

And then I would find something else to fill that, like, so I'll just be real, right?

So I was smoking a lot of weed and then I would stop smoking weed because I felt convicted.

And I would start drinking and I'd be like, it's just a glass of wine.

I've had a long day.

God doesn't like either of those things because he loves a sober mind.

Jeff actually left me the verse from Titus about being sober minded and just, you know, freedom that lasts.

The memory verses, the group discussions, the praise, the prayers, the vulnerability that people share with you when they don't have to, right?

But they know they're in a safe environment where we are all human and we fall short.

And we can't pretend that sin doesn't exist, and we can't pretend that we're not tempted by it.

So Freedom that Lasts, it doesn't affirm that those things, it, it.

There's no judgment, right?

We.

We can carry.

And I'm struggling with this myself right now in this current moment where I am a slave to sin.

In moments, in certain aspects of my life, I'm still struggling, but the shame and the guilt that I feel distancing myself from God is of the devil.

Rebecca shared this with me tonight, that I am forgiven.

I'm covered in the blood.

And he knew I would struggle through all of this.

And if we don't acknowledge that it's a constant journey, we're cutting the journey short because it's that connection we have when we are vulnerable.

That is what Christian fellowship is all about.

Like, it's not just about celebrating the good, because that's fine and superficial, but it's.

Hey, I'm hurting.

Let me pray with you.

Let me, Let me listen actively and pray, not just in this moment, but go home and actively pray for you.

And I had never experienced anything like that before.

It changed me.

Well, I think that freedom at last is.

It's different than like 12 step, you know, AA.

Like, we were at the park this past weekend handing out bags to the homeless, and I talked to a guy and he's.

He's like, so what is this addictions ministry?

Is it like aa?

I said, no, not quite.

I said, it's.

It's very.

It's.

I'll just be honest.

It's biblical.

Like, the answers are in the Bible.

Like, jesus is your victory.

Jesus is the source of your victory.

He's like, well, you know, AA has the 12 steps, and I don't know how many steps have to do with God.

I'm just like, well, yeah, but the, the ultimate source of your victory is Jesus, and the answers are in the Bible, and that's how you gain your victory.

Just like you said, you were being changed from the inside out.

And that was based on the word of God, not a 12 step program.

Like, it's, you know, and I don't know about cr, I don't know what they do, but I know that.

I know that freedom that last is biblically based.

And I think that's where you have the victory.

Well, in AA too, right?

It was founded by a Christian and the higher power was God at one point.

And then the higher power became the higher power.

Whatever you want it to be.

Exactly.

And I think when you speak of this, we had this verse that we did in groups this week is Romans 8:1, where the Bible says, there's therefore no, now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, the saved, right?

Who walk not after the flesh, but after the spirit.

And that is a powerful verse.

That you are no longer condemned, right?

Because you are in Christ Jesus doesn't mean you have a liberty to sin.

Because in.

In Romans 2, it tells us, shall we continue in sin that grace may abound.

He says, God forbid.

But he also says the apostle Paul, right, of anybody struggled in Romans 7 with the flesh and the Spirit, right?

And he said, that which I should do, I don't.

And that which I shouldn't do, I do, right?

Wretched as man.

But he said, in the end, there is Hope through Christ Jesus, right, that we can have victory.

And I think that's the, the beauty of freedom that lasts is that there's not.

We're not condemned by our sin once we're in Christ, right, We can choose to be enslaved to sin, but we're no longer.

He's.

The sin is no longer our owner.

We're not in chains, we are free to go.

And that's.

This verse is so powerful, right, because it says there's no conduct like you are not condemned, right?

And if you look at the woman that was caught in adultery, I think the, the biggest thing there was that God saw what, what had happened, right?

And, and then I think he truly saw her heart.

I think she truly believed on him.

I don't know if it was at that moment that she put her trust in Jesus, but he told her, I don't condemn you no more.

Go and sin no more, right?

He didn't condemn her because I think he saw the heart of her and how she had changed.

And I don't know if that was a moment of salvation or what that was, but he didn't condemn her, right?

And in those days, right, adultery was, that was death.

That was like that was it stoning, right?

That was like the ultimate do not do you know, besides murder and what they expected him to do, he did not do.

And I think many times we look at God and, and we are a judge, right?

There's consequences for our sin, yes, but he doesn't condemn us.

And that's the beauty of our fathers.

He corrects us because he loves us.

He doesn't correct us because he's wants are the worst for us.

He wants us to not walk in that way.

And I think this is a beautiful verse, just as you stated, that goes along with.

Because the devil brings about shame, right?

And I always, I would always say there's no fishing at the dock of forgiven sins, but we like to go fishing in those old sins.

And like I shouldn't have done that or.

And he said, I don't, I don't know what you're talking about, right?

That's as far as from the east is, the west is.

I put those sins out, I condemn you, you not.

And what a beautiful thing of the forgiveness of God that he doesn't remember and bring it up to you.

That's Satan, right?

That's a counterfeit.

And that's what he does.

Satan is the counterfeit, the father of all lies.

That's the God of grace, right?

I mean, that's Grace given to you.

We're not condemned anymore, man.

I mean, you're in Christ.

You are forgiven.

You're forgiven once and for all.

Like you said, we can choose to.

We can choose to sin and, and, and God forbid we do like Paul says, but, but at the end of the day, man, we're forgiven, man.

It's done, it's paid.

When they ask you at BDubs, fries or salad, you're like, you know what I mean?

Yeah, I should say solid.

But man, those fries, I've been saying salad, bro, you know, those sins come up, those temptations, you know, that are.

Well, then it's the conviction.

Right?

So condemnation.

How would you describe that word, condemnation?

You're condemned.

I mean, you are born condemned.

So when we come out of the womb, we're were condemned, damned.

Would that be a synonym?

Yeah, the wrath of God.

Right.

Abides on you.

Okay, so conviction is my strongest.

That is what we're left with, and that's what keeps us close to God.

So we're not condemned.

But the conviction I feel when I do choose my flesh over my spirit is.

It makes me like that's a. I feel queasy when I think about choosing myself after all of God's abundance and goodness towards me, especially recently, and to choose my flesh or my own desires over what God simply asks of me.

It's the conviction after that, the devil loves because that's where he can draw you back to him.

But it's a beautiful thing.

I just had to speak on that for a moment because it's a blessing.

And it's really hard to.

To struggle with realizing that you are the problem.

You're the common denominator.

Yes, well, the, the conviction is a beautiful thing too, because it's, it's evidence that you are saved, that you are God's child.

Right.

I mean, why would you be convicted otherwise?

I mean, let's just go sin, eat, drink and be married.

Well, there's no morality without God.

Right.

The wrong and right in our world is based upon God, whether atheists agree to it.

And then Ravi Zacharias would argue this is.

Well, that's not my truth.

They said, why don't you leave your door open every night?

Why do you lock it?

Right.

Because your morality doesn't want somebody to break in because it's.

If it's their truth, to take what you have.

That's not truth.

Well, and the reality is too, even atheists, like, I mean, they're made in the image of God and to some extent they have some morals.

Like.

Like most people don't want to just kill somebody.

Like most people.

You know what I mean?

There's some people, I guess, that do.

Yeah.

But for the most part they don't.

You know, I mean, your conscience.

Yeah, I mean, I feel bad even, you know, running over a dog.

Like, I. I mean, I hope you do.

I hope you feel terrible.

Or like a rabbit.

Right.

Like rabbits come.

I stop.

I don't just like, hey, look at this.

You know, okay, pigeon.

It'll move.

I try not to step on the ants when I go running on the sidewalk because they report back to someone that's going to miss them if I step on them.

Yes.

I can avoid it.

Right, right.

But.

Yeah, And.

But that morality comes from God.

And I think that come.

So everybody has that, I believe, to a certain extent, a level of morality.

Sure.

Where if you saw a man beating a woman on the street, you said, now we film it.

But it would be like, I feel bad.

Right.

I'm not going to just cheer for that.

And some people would.

But I think when you're saved, that conviction is for anything that goes against God.

Not something that's egregious, but anything that you know would hurt God.

He.

It's like you get nervous when you're like a little kid and you're gonna steal something and you get that lump, you're like, I shouldn't do that.

Right.

And God still gives us a choice, free will to say.

And sometimes you're like, I'll ask for forgiveness later.

Right.

And that's where that verse comes in, God forbid.

But we've all done it.

We've all overrode the Holy Spirit conviction and said, I want to please my flesh.

Right.

I want to.

And it's a very selfish endeavor.

And just like for you, in stark contrast to the love of Christ, we're being ungrateful and discontent by our own flesh, which brings more discontentment and obedience brings more contentment in him.

Yes.

And that's the amazing juxtaposition of the two choices that we have on the table.

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So I'm curious.

So, you know, you're pretty real with us, and you've talked about getting into a little bit of witchcraft and smoking weed and.

And these kinds of things which interact with the spiritual.

But as you.

When you got saved and you're, you know, obviously now you're working out your salvation, not working for your salvation, but you're working it out, how did that.

How did that interact?

And how did you overcome some of those things?

I mean, how does, like, give us some feedback on that?

Yeah, so I struggled.

Right.

I wanted to.

The want was there, but the flesh was strong.

In the beginning, after I accepted Jesus Christ as my savior, I was on fire for the Lord.

And the conviction was there, and I felt like I was not doing right.

So I tried to do it on my own.

I really did.

And I think I made it like a month or two.

And then I inevitably smoked again.

And I heard God tell me, you cannot do this alone.

And then I was baptized and.

Beautiful day.

Beautiful day.

Hallelujah.

Yeah, Just.

Just the feeling of that water flowing over my body and being renewed is the most peace I've felt in my earthly body.

And it was a blessing.

I struggled a little bit after that, but I am really excited to say I've been a year sober from weed.

And right after that came conviction about alcohol, and I haven't had anything in seven months, and I have no desire.

He healed me.

He delivered me from that.

Yeah.

Yes.

So just reading God's word every day, just making, you know, daily habit of prayer, that kind of thing.

Yes.

Okay.

Yes.

Working on habits.

Right.

21 days to make a habit.

I try really hard to consume something godly daily.

And that's.

It should be God's word, but sometimes it's singing gospel music in my car or praying, but that is what I should be doing.

Yeah.

That's something that would probably resolve the sin issues I'm still struggling with because I'm human.

Well, and I think too, like you said in the beginning, like, you were kind of had a personality where you didn't like to be around people.

And so you would isolate.

And in Christianity, that's kind of dangerous.

Right.

Because when you get isolated, like, that's when Satan has a field day with you.

Yes.

He will lie to you, you will believe it, and then you will Keep everybody at bay so that nobody, you know, you don't want the accountability.

You don't want people to know what's going on.

Yes, but being in fellowship and being with other Christians is the best thing to do.

So.

The best.

Just in general, right.

It's just nice to talk about the Bible, talk about God's word.

I.

That's one of the things I loved about freedom that lasts.

It's.

We had business to do, right.

We would have a task, we'd talk about it.

We would pray with one another, and then we would enjoy one another's company and just get to talk.

And I think about Joel, right?

Joel's story and just everybody there.

Again, the vulnerability, the realness of people who are struggling with maybe not even sin, right?

Life, grief, death, heartache, and they share it.

And then we hold them emotionally, spiritually, with prayer.

It's a blessing.

Well, and I know we talk about FTL being in addictions ministry, but I, you know, I think it's more of a discipleship.

Like, it's.

Yes, it's like a mini church service for me.

And it's a discipleship program more than anything.

I mean, like Sasso says, sin is addictive and it could be any sin.

Right.

It could be pride, it could be anger, it could be anxiety.

There's a lot of shopping.

Yeah.

Shopping, gambling.

I mean, I think people right away.

People right away go to the worst, you know, drugs and alcohol, like, you know, and it's.

It's.

There's so many other facets and ways that we are chained.

Yes.

And, yes.

FTL is like a perfect ministry for that, but not just for that.

It's man, it's learning, It's.

It's worship.

I mean, we sing.

We sing praises and like.

Yeah.

And then.

I love what you said, too.

We eat a meal together and we fellowship.

And I think that's a big.

That's a big deal.

I mean, it's in.

What is that?

Acts 4:2 to the.

To the breaking of bread.

Like, you know, following the apostles teaching and all that.

But to the breaking.

We're like, well, we're gonna have the great marriage Supper of the Lamb, right?

Yeah.

Food is important.

The Last Supper, right.

There was food and breaking bread.

And there's God's providence to sustain us physically is through food.

And when we do it one another, I think it's just very special or it can be last because, like, if you're not.

You were new.

It's hard to maybe talk in a group, but if you're one on one and somebody's just eating casual with you, they kind of start to break down those walls and build trust.

That's where you can get under the iceberg right there.

Yeah, a little bit.

And sometimes the freedom to last.

You're in a position of rejoicing and somebody's in a position of weeping.

Yes.

And you can help each other.

And then there could be a week where you're weeping and they're rejoicing.

Yes.

And you lift each other up and that's how God made the body to sustain one another.

To say, there's going to be times when I'm down and you're up and you're up and I'm down.

And I think it's harder for men, right, because we're not real with our emotions.

I'm not.

Right.

And Rebecca tries to, you know, and I said, well, if you wanted me to be emotional, you would have married when you would have married a man.

And she laughed.

She said, well, you, you know, you got it.

So, you know, God's working with me on that just to be real and struggle.

Right.

And I try not to tell.

Dump everything on her because it's not meant to be.

But go to God, right.

And that's.

He's really my sustainer.

But I just think that freedom, alas, is just a special place to me.

We're going on 11 years next month or this month, actually.

And so God has, you know, given us and we've seen all kind of people come through there, people that are no longer even on this earth, that have passed on sadly.

And those are just for.

Well, I would say all of them are sad, but just for different reasons.

And just your.

I mean, just to look back, right.

You're sitting here in the flesh.

And just my mind goes back to when you first came and Jeff and Mary brought you.

And I feel like there was a battle and I don't know if you really wanted to be there.

It was awkward, right?

You're kind of by yourself and you were just like, like soaking it all in.

Like, what is this?

Yes.

But I mean, what an amazing thing God has done in your life.

And I think the ladies in your group really miss you, and I know Rebecca does, but I think you guys keep in contact.

Well, I know you guys keep in contact, but I can assure you that she prays for you still.

Right.

And there's a lot of people here in this side of the United States, not the east coast, the west coast, that love you and love you as a sister in Christ.

Right.

And just what God has done through your life has been an inspiration to people there.

And everybody has a spirit story that God uses.

Yes.

And I think that's why you came on the podcast.

Right?

To share what God has done and is doing in your life.

Yes.

Yeah.

He is faithful and good and cares.

Right.

So that feeling I felt at Freedom that Lasts, which was very foreign to me, became the feeling that is inside of me when I was baptized.

And that's where my discernment started to grow.

And everything became about the spirit of God, the Holy Spirit, and how I can try my best.

Sometimes I fail to honor that and obey Him.

And he's been.

He brought me to a church.

He brought me unbelievable forgiveness for people who have hurt me.

He provides in ways I couldn't.

I prayed for some things.

And then he blew all of those things out of the water and said, here, and I don't deserve it.

But he continues to bless me.

So it's wonderful.

Anything that you want to convey or maybe you're talking to yourself six years ago or somebody like you that you would like to share with them.

Yes.

I'm thinking of Jeff and Mary.

Gracious.

And that our second commandment from Jesus is to love our neighbor.

And everything is spiritual.

So every person that we interact with, every eye that we meet, every customer, friend, colleague, coworker, is a soul to be saved.

And Jeff and Mary were so brave and bold to witness to me because they didn't know me from a hole in the wall.

And they saved my soul.

So it is our duty to go out and share the gospel, even if we're not people.

People.

Nothing else matters but eternity and the fear of rejection.

To be humiliated, to be ostracized by the world is a blessing.

And I just pray that people are bold.

I pray that I am bold because it changed my whole life.

It changed everything for me.

That one person told me that Jesus made me, and I had no idea.

Amen.

And you look at that, right?

You were leaving, he was leaving.

Yes.

And God gives us that divine appointment, and it's for us to obey and.

And I think deaf.

Pretty bold in a lot of ways.

And praise God for that.

That he may see people in heaven that he never knew because he was bold to share.

And you're just somebody that he gets to see and rejoice in.

And he still ask about you.

So I have To.

I have to send the podcast to him, which.

Oh, yeah, yeah, for sure.

That'd be very special to you.

We'll have the.

The Jeff sound effects on this one.

Yeah.

Because we do bend it.

Record some.

Oh, good.

Yeah.

Jeff sound effects.

Yeah.

Hallelujah.

Hallelujah.

Praise the Lord.

Did he come in studio any day?

No, I.

We were just in the.

In sanctuary, and I said, hey, man, I need you to say a couple things.

And I just flipped out my phone and hit record and told him say these things, and he did, and.

Oh, I love that.

Yeah, please put a few.

And now he has his own freedom.

That last chapter that he's running, I heard.

Yeah.

So that's kind of cool, right?

Yeah.

And how God's using that in his own life, and I haven't reached out to him in a while to see how that's going, but he sends us pictures from time to time.

Yeah.

Of the freedom that lasts there, but praise God that he's using that there where he's at in Tennessee.

Amen.

Yeah, Amen.

All right.

Any parting final words before we close it out?

No, I'm just really grateful for your time and for our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

Amen.

Amen.

Well, thank you for coming on the show.

Appreciate your story.

I love the reality of it being real and just sharing from the heart.

I hope this episode is, you know, a blessing to somebody.

Somebody maybe struggling with those things.

You know, the spiritual is interesting because it's.

You know, Satan is subtle, and he finds his way into people's lives.

I mean, the Bible says he's a.

An angel of light.

And so you were.

You.

You.

When you were getting into some of those things, you said you felt spiritual things, and.

And so the devil was making you feel these spiritual things.

It was not the Holy Spirit.

No, because you didn't have the discernment at that point.

But I think there's a lot of people that may fall into this.

I mean, I see.

I mean, we were just at the park the other day with the.

With the homeless, and you see these guys walking around.

They look like zombies, and.

And they truly are.

They're dead.

They're spiritually dead.

But I think also they're.

They're intoxicated with drugs, but they could be demonically possessed.

They could be controlled by demons.

I mean, there's.

It is spiritual.

Everywhere is spiritual.

I mean, there.

We live in the spiritual realm.

We just don't see it.