Why life isn’t binary, how bright spots and dark corners coexist, and how embracing the shades in between helps us live with more compassion, resilience and ease. I think you'll like this one!
BTW - If you didn't already know, I'm Sarah - Drink Less; Live Better founder, best-selling author, expert speaker, life coach and, as you already know, podcast host!
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Transcripts
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Hello and welcome to this episode of the Drink Less Live Better podcast. I'm your host Sarah Williamson.
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Be sure to follow me on Instagram at drinklesslivebetter and head to the website drinklesslivebetter.com where you can sign
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up for the 5-day Drink Less Experiment, download my free habit tracker and join my email club for regular inspiration, ideas and resources. To help you live better.
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Here's something I've been thinking about at the moment: the bright spots and dark corners of life.
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I've been noticing how I'm constantly moving between the moments of light and moments of shadow recently.
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The joyful bits, the tough bits, the mediocre bits, the complicated, the difficult, the funny, the insignificant, and everything in between. Sometimes all experienced in one day.
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If you've been around me for a while you'll already know that I believe life is rarely binary.
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Very few things are purely good or bad, right or wrong, success or failure.
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Instead most of what we experience sits somewhere in between. A whole palette of technicolor.
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Rather than stark black or dazzling white.
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And yet our minds love a binary story.
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It feels simpler, cleaner and easier to manage.
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But simple doesn't always mean true and simple is not often the answer to complex emotions or life experiences.
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Sometimes the answer is nuanced and sometimes there is no answer even when we seek one.
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Why is life richer when we acknowledge all its shades?
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How can we recognize both the bright spots and the dark corners to help us live with more compassion, resilience and balance? Let's see. Okay, first, bright spots.
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These are the moments where everything feels easier, Perhaps flowier for want of a better word.
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Personally and professionally things are ticking along or going well or feeling fabulous.
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Connections are warm and the world feels expansive.
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They might be big moments like celebrating something meaningful or tiny moments like noticing a really lovely view on a morning walk.
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These are the times we can breathe deeply and think ah yes this feels good.
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And I do hope you notice these moments.
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Have a listen to podcast episode 86 Moments of Bliss for more on this subject.
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But bright spots don't tell the whole story because alongside them inevitably there are dark corners.
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These are the times when things feel heavy or uncertain.
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Maybe we're sad, angry, overwhelmed, disappointed, tired or just not quite ourselves.
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Sometimes the dark corners are obvious and sometimes they're subtle, those quiet nagging feelings we push down or ignore.
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Neither bright spots nor dark corners define us on their own, they co-exist, they inform each other and they make us human.
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When we try to live only in the bright spots, only in the positive, we end up suppressing or denying our very real human experiences.
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And when we get trapped in the dark corners believing everything is bleak or difficult, we miss the parts that are still functioning,
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still hopeful, still tender and still meaningful.
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This is why the all-or-nothing binary way of seeing the world can feel so constraining.
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Our nervous systems and our emotional landscapes aren't built in black and white. They're built to respond, adapt and
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and evolve based on a complex mix of signals, thoughts and circumstances.
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Binary thinking narrows our vision, it literally closes down options around us.
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When we decide a situation is good we might overlook things that could be improved or ignore our needs because we don't want to disrupt the positivity.
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When we decide something is bad we're more likely to catastrophise, give up early or assume there's nothing to learn or gain from the situation.
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Binary thinking can make us feel stuck because it takes away the nuance, the wiggle room, the possibility for transformation.
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And perhaps most importantly, binary thinking can make us harder on ourselves.
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If I tell myself I'm good when I do one thing and bad when I do another, well, That's a very exhausting and fragile place to live.
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It leaves no space for mistakes, growth or experimentation and it shuts the door on self-compassion.
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But the truth is most of life is not either or it's both and.
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You can feel grateful and sad at the same time.
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You can love someone and feel frustrated with them.
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You can be making progress and still feel wobbly.
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You can reduce your drinking and still have days where you struggle.
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You can be proud of how far you've come and still want things to be different.
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There's so much freedom in allowing multiple truths to exist at once and when we acknowledge the full spectrum the bright
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spots and the dark corners, we create space for a bit more flexibility, some gentle thinking and we give ourselves permission to be human.
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Nice thoughts can be allowed to happen in the curiosity, in the I'm not sure yet, in the maybe it's both, in the I wonder what's underneath this feeling.
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So I'd love you to consider where you might be applying a binary lens to your life, what becomes possible when you stop insisting
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something is good or bad and instead let it be true.
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If you enjoyed this episode please follow, subscribe, rate and review, drink less live better wherever you listen to your
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podcasts and if you'd like more support in learning to trust yourself and live with greater confidence and calm, visit drinklesslivebetter.com
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Check out the show notes for a link to a hidden podcast episode that will help you with your 5pm cravings and details about
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my one-to-one life coaching and sober coaching programs. And P.S. I believe in you.
