This episode delves into the profound notion that the most potent technology we may encounter is not a sophisticated device or algorithm, but rather the narratives we construct, particularly those we internalize in solitude. Our guest, Terry Weaver, a U.S. Navy corpsman and combat medic, shares his transformative journey from the chaos of war in Iraq to the tumultuous path of overcoming alcoholism and ultimately reclaiming his life through storytelling. He emphasizes the significance of personal narratives, highlighting that they possess the power to illuminate the darkest corners of our existence and foster resilience. In our conversation, we explore the intricate relationship between creativity and healing, positing that the act of storytelling serves not only as a means of self-expression but also as a vital tool for connection and understanding. As we traverse this dialogue, I invite you to reflect on your own stories and the potential they hold for profound transformation.

The conversation unfolds with a poignant inquiry that provokes reflection on the potency of storytelling as a form of technology, one that transcends the mere computational or mechanical. The premise posits that the narratives we construct, particularly those we tell ourselves in the silence of solitude, possess the capability to influence our realities profoundly. Our esteemed guest, Terry Weaver, profoundly embodies this notion as he shares his journey from the battlefield of Iraq to the creative realm of filmmaking. His narrative is not encapsulated within the conventional tropes of redemption; rather, it delineates a more authentic and arduous pathway of self-reconstruction following tumultuous experiences, including grappling with alcoholism after his return from war. Throughout the dialogue, Weaver emphasizes the significance of storytelling, not only as a means of personal expression but as a vehicle for healing and community connection, challenging the audience to recognize the therapeutic potential embedded within their own narratives. The discussion then delves into the complexities of Weaver’s life experiences, particularly the misconceptions surrounding veterans transitioning into the arts. The audience is guided through the nuanced reality that many veterans, including Weaver, do not follow a linear trajectory of success but instead navigate a labyrinth of struggles and setbacks. The dialogue underscores the importance of confronting one’s demons rather than succumbing to them—a theme that resonates deeply with the human condition. Weaver articulates the necessity of vulnerability and the courage to seek help, dismantling the stigma associated with asking for assistance in times of need. This call to action serves not only as a reflection of his personal journey but as a universal message of hope and resilience.

Takeaways:

• The profound impact of storytelling on individual lives cannot be overstated, as it offers a means of connection and healing.
• Acknowledging one's struggles, rather than framing them as mere narratives of redemption, is essential for genuine recovery.
• The journey from personal turmoil to creative expression highlights the significance of community and support in overcoming adversity.
• Creativity serves as a powerful medium for transformation, allowing individuals to express their experiences and foster connections with others.
• The importance of remaining present in one's circumstances cannot be ignored; it is crucial for navigating life's challenges and embracing change.
• Surrendering to the need for help signifies strength in the face of adversity, and it fosters personal growth and resilience.

Links referenced in this episode:

• terryweaver.substack.com
• thebeastoftrinitytexas.com
• amazon.com
• apple.com

Companies mentioned in this episode:

• VEL Institute
• Pat Tillman Foundation
• Texas A and M
• Breaking Strongholds
• Beast of Trinity, Texas
• Amazon Prime
• Apple TV

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Dear listeners, I would like to start with a question today.

It's like, what if the most powerful piece of technology that will ever encounter is not an algorithm or a device, but a story?

I'd say a story someone tells themselves in the dark.

A story that says that this is not where it ends.

So today's guest.

Yes, so today's guest.

I'd say, listeners, today's guest has spent his 21st birthday in Kuwait preparing to enter Iraq.

He came home, nearly lost everything to alcohol and then quietly rebuilt himself.

One word, one scene, one film at a time.

And this is not a Hollywood arc.

This is something more honest than that.

Yeah.

So welcome back, dear listeners, to another powerful episode of Mind meets Machine.

I'm your host, Avik.

And this is the show where we sit at the intersection of humanity and the tools, systems, stories we create to make sense of being alive.

And today I'm joined by a lovely guest.

Please welcome Terry Weaver.

So welcome to the show.

Thanks a bit.

I appreciate that you said we create to stay alive and tell stories to stay alive.

And I really agree with that, that stories do allow us to escape in life and they allow us to come alive when we tell our story.

And a passionate story, well told is so valuable.

Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, exactly.

And you know, dear listeners, so before we delve deep into the discussion today because I believe you'll also get benefited a lot from our conversation.

But before we do that, I'll quickly love to introduce you, Terry.

So Terry is a U.S. navy corpsman and combat medic who served in Kuwait and Iraq.

And he's a Pat Tillman foundation scholar, Texas A and M graduate and the founder of VEL Institute, a nonprofit serving veterans.

A five time published author and award winning actor from the TV series Breaking Strongholds and the writer, director, producer and the star of the Beast of Trinity, Texas.

And now streaming on a juvie, Amazon prime and Apple tv.

But, but what makes this conversation different is what happened between the uniform and the camera.

Think about it.

Yes.

So that's where the real story lives.

So I'll not take much of a time.

Terry, welcome to the show.

And it's, I'm, I'm really, really happy to discuss about this very important dawe.

I am too.

Thanks for having me.

Amazing.

Amazing.

So before we get into the bigger questions, I would like to start with like you grew up in San Bernardi, Dino, am I correct?

Yes, that's correct.

And you left home at 16, enlisted at 17.

So when you look back at the kid who made the decision, what was The.

What was he running towards or maybe running away from something?

Well, I think.

I think that I was running away from something, and I was running towards something, and the idea of a better life is what I was running toward.

And I was running away from my life because I knew that it was unhealthy, and I knew that I wasn't being treated fairly.

And so I thought that I could do a better job raising me for the rest of my adolescence than my parents could.

So I had to leave.

I had to leave.

So, like, also here, I would love to bring about a very important word.

I would say it's about the misconception.

Right.

So I think a lot of people hear that veteran turned filmmaker, and they immediately frame it as a kind of this clean redemption story, like struggle, then success.

But you have been open about the fact that you came home from Iraq and became, in your own words, a terrible alcoholic.

So you were running from your problems.

That part, I would say, doesn't usually make the highlight real.

So what do people get wrong about it when it actually takes a text to go from that low point to standing behind the camera directing a feature film?

Yeah.

It's a complete rebuilding.

First of all, we learned in Alcoholics Anonymous that you hit rock bottom when you stop digging.

And that's absolutely true.

We're our own worst enemies, and we destroy ourselves through destructive things when we have demons inside.

And I had a lot of demons inside, not only from childhood, but being in a war and then coming back and making a lot of mistakes.

And when you make mistake after mistake, the shame just begins to pile up, and you feel like you can.

You need to run from it.

And that's exactly what I was doing.

I was running from all the shame and the pain in my past.

And eventually, I just.

You know, I knew that I was gonna blow up my family if I kept on doing what I did, what I was doing.

So when someone wraps your story up in the kind of next bow, or the neat bow, the underdog made it version, kind of.

So what does that miss about the years in between?

Well, I think that it misses the human struggle.

And not to say that everything's perfect now, but things are a lot easier because my psychology is straightened out, and my heart's pure and my intentions are good.

So I think everybody goes through struggles, one kind or another, whether that's anxiety or economic distress.

The problem is, is when we don't deal with those struggles, we turn to unhealthy habits, and we end up burying ourself further and further and further.

And it's just like.

It's just that you think compound interest.

This is negative, compounding interest on your life when you do those kind of things, they're very destructive habits.

And so I don't know if I had to go through that, but I did go through it.

And I had to get to a point where I. I knew that I couldn't do it on myself and I needed to reach out for help.

And a lot of us think that when you say I need help, it's a weakness, but it's in fact a strength.

Exactly.

Because you get to know about.

Or maybe you.

You learn the exact mistake or the gap you were doing.

So that's a great part of it and that's a strength.

Definitely asking for a help.

It's not a.

It's not a negative part about it.

That's right, exactly.

And I really appreciate, like, you saying that because I think one of the things we explore on this show is like how the systems and machines around us, whether it's a technology or media or even the stories we tell on the social media, they compress messy human experiences into a kind of clean narratives.

And the truth is usually very, very, quite a longer and harder than the version that gets shared.

So definitely.

Which brings me to something very deep.

But it's like you have said about your marriage, about almost falling apart was the wake up call.

And that's a.

That's a specific moment.

But where I'm curious is like about what was happening underneath before the moment.

Like when you're drinking, when you were running, what were you actually trying not to feel like?

Looking back, I mean, do.

Yeah, I think, I think it was all about avoiding pain.

So I had a lot of pain from my childhood.

A broken family.

My.

My parents split up at four, you know, and I had.

My mom, she went to prison.

And I didn't know how to process all of that when I was young.

So I just covered it up somehow.

Right.

And the longer you cover stuff like that up, the worse it gets.

You have to deal with that.

And so, you know, I think it's a male thing that we want to figure out our problems on our own, but what we really need to do is ask for help when we come to a roadblock and when we can't figure it out on our own, we need help.

That's why people flourish in community.

That's why when human beings want to be pushed to the ultimate punishment, they're put in isolation.

Because humans aren't meant to Be in isolation.

And what happens when you have an addiction is you isolate and you stay inside your head and, and you cover up your problems and your addictions with more medicine.

Because that's what you think it is.

You think the medicine, I thought the medicine was alcohol and that was numbing the pain and that was not a solution.

It was just a temporary bandaid on top of it all.

So what was happening before is I was completely running away from my pain and I was medicating and I was isolating and that's a deadly combination.

I agree.

And do you think that that's the common for people who have served this gap between what you have experienced and the tools you have to process it like, like the machine of military trains you for the combat, but nobody hands you the manual for coming home.

Yeah, that's right.

I think everybody's different and everybody's circumstances are different.

So I can't really speak for everyone, but I do have a lot of friends who saw combat and you know, they're, they're still working through that.

I have friends that, you know, they're, they're, they're in a much worse place than I am.

They don't want to leave their hometown.

There's a lot of anxiety and depression.

And so, you know, people are very complicated.

But I would say the number one factor in healing is surrendering.

Surrendering and saying I can't do this on my own.

And it helps to have a higher power and it helps to have a community.

And so those are the only ways that I could figure out how to heal from, from all the carnage in my past.

And that really, really sits with me because I mean obviously we talk about the machines and systems all, all the time, but the AI tools, platforms, but most important system like any of us runs is, is the kind of, which is one inside our head.

So when the system crashes, like no external tool can fix it until we are, or maybe that person is willing to look at the code underneath.

So yeah, yeah, definitely agreed.

And I think our, we don't credit our heart enough.

Our mind and our heart are connected and they're almost, they're almost one.

And when your heart's in a good place, your mind's in a good place, you have gratitude and you have openness and you can really start to look at the world as opportunity and a way to serve and a way to improve others lives.

But you can't do that until you're, you're healed or at least you're working on yourself.

Right?

Exactly.

Exactly.

So if we talk about the real life part.

So you start rebuilding.

You go to Texas and.

Texas and.

And on the.

On the path till scholarship.

You earn a business degree, then the master's in political studies.

So you spend a decade in sales and marketing as well.

So you found a nonprofit for the veterans.

And then at some point, you start writing, you start acting.

You eventually write, direct produce, and obviously star in your own feature film with over 200 people involved.

So I want to say, with the creative turn for a moment, what did the storytelling give you that nothing else could?

Well, I.

In retrospect, I believe that I realized how important stories are, right?

We sit in front of TVs and we read books and we talk to each other.

Why?

Because we share stories and we absorb stories.

And I think storytelling will never go away.

But I really learned the power of a story in retrospect when I was looking back at my time spent in a war zone.

And a good friend of mine, his name is Kyle, he, myself and another friend used to.

Right in the middle of this war zone, we would take our cots and we would lay them outside of our.

Of our tent, and we would put up our mosquito netting and lay there under the stars, and he would tell us stories.

And this was a hostile zone.

And these stories were so funny.

He was a very, very funny human being.

They were so funny, we would laugh until we fell asleep.

And looking back on that, I realized how powerful stories are.

And I realized that people need stories because life is tough.

And if we can have a good story and a good.

And a good friend that can share stories with us, that's a very powerful thing.

That's why I want to tell stories for the rest of my life.

I didn't start writing until I was 39 years old.

And I think I had to get to a place where I believed inside that I had something to offer.

And that took a lot of rebuilding, and it took a lot of developing confidence.

So I think creativity is huge in human potential.

I think we were made to create.

I heard this quote, when we're creating, we're most like God.

When we're creating, we're most like God.

And I thought, wow, that's powerful.

And so when I'm creating, I mainly write, but I do some acting and directing.

I feel most alive when I'm creating.

And I just encourage everybody that listens to this podcast.

Doesn't matter what it is.

It could be writing.

It could be.

You could.

You could be col.

I know people that love to color I know painters, I know musicians.

When you express yourself in creativity, there's something cathartic about that, and it's a storytelling medium, and it will touch other people.

So.

Wow.

And when you were making the Beast of Trinity, Texas, you have compared it to running a math and a day for 30 straight days.

Like, so you had 35 actors, 40 locations, and 1.20% of the budget raised with six weeks to go.

So what kept you from walking away?

Well, what kept me from walking away was my commitment to all the people that I'd gotten involved.

Now, I'd never made a movie before.

I'd been in acting and I'd been in fundraising for films, and I've done other things around the film, but this was my first time as a filmmaker, so I did everything backwards.

I just kind of tried to figure it out as I went.

And I cast people and we marketed the movie.

And it came down to, like you said, about six weeks before we're supposed to start filming.

And I had all these people depending on me.

And that's why I couldn't just throw my hands up and say, ah, well, I tried my best.

Right?

I had to take it to the very edge.

If I would have been one day before filming and couldn't film, I would have taken it to the very edge and said, okay.

You know, I just.

I'm.

I'm 100% in or 100% out of.

There's something in my character, my personality.

So I just had a lot of people believing in the project.

I believed in the project.

And then, you know, if you believe in something and you take action, you can get people excited because there's not a lot of people out there who are doing big creative things who are.

Have decided they're gonna do them.

Dream big.

I always say, dream big and cast a big vision and take care of people, and you can pretty much do anything you want.

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

And okay.

And would also love to talk about the practical part of it.

Like, as you said that your goal when you show up anywhere is for.

To feel bigger, stronger, and more inspired than before you arrived.

So, definitely, it's a beautiful intention, but it.

Let's kind of make it useful for someone listening right now.

Like, if someone is in their own version of that dark chapter, maybe.

Maybe they haven't hit the rock bottom.

Maybe they are just quietly stuck and they.

They feel like they.

They have lost that thread of who they are.

So what is the first thing you did tell them to do?

The first thing I would remind them of is they're telling a story with their life and whether they believe it or not, they're influencing someone.

Whether that's their kid or their wife or their friend, somebody's watching them.

Oftentimes we think, oh, nobody's watching us, but people are watching us.

And our influence is either positive or negative, period.

It's never neutral.

We're either taking people to a better place or we're taking em to a darker place.

And so the trick with influence is to realize that when you, when you change your posture from just thinking about yourself and decide that you're going to lead other people, it's a very unselfish thing and it, it will actually benefit you.

The more you do for others, the more you're going to be benefited.

And so I would encourage people to put that into action.

If you're depressed, go out and help somebody and see if you don't feel better after that.

So like, I mean, and your experience, does it matter like what the creative outset is?

Does it have to be willing or film?

I mean, writing out of the film?

Absolutely not.

When you have an idea, whether that's a song, you start to write it.

You're actually bringing something from your subconscious into reality.

Think about how powerful that is.

Think about how powerful that is.

You're actually giving birth to an idea.

Now if you continue to focus on that and you continue to refine it and make it something beautiful that the world can use, that's going to be very valuable.

I don't care if it's a poem, if it's a picture that you're coloring, a painting.

It could be a movie.

I don't recommend it because they're very hard.

It could be a book, it could be a memoir, whatever it is.

If you can create things that are valuable or give beauty to other people, you're going to change the world.

It may not be overnight, it may not be on a massive scale, but you're going to change the world.

One person, one feeling, one message at a time.

And that's a, that's an amazing thing.

And I think, I think creativity is a superpower.

And we all have it in us.

We just have to activate it and we have to work on it, we have to hone it, we have to chisel away until we get our craft to where that, where it's productive.

But we all have this creative source in us.

Exactly.

I really love that because we live in a time where AI can, I mean, write a screenplay in 30 seconds.

It can generate a short film for just from a prompt only.

But what it cannot do is just that do is need to create.

That need is something which makes something real that's uniquely human.

That's very true.

So.

So, Tyler.

Yeah.

Saying something, please.

Yeah.

So also I, I would suggest that AI can't have a conversation like you and I are doing.

I mean, you could give it a prompt and you can read what it spits out, but it can't have a conversation like this that's filled with emotion.

Right?

Yeah.

Like there's a spirit about this conversation that's gonna.

That it's going to affect other people's spirit.

I. AI can't do that.

So don't ever be worried about that.

It doesn't have the human element that we do.

Very true.

And so you have been open for about.

And about the fact that you have worked 16 plus different jobs from flipping pizza to serving as a combat medic, to running a nonprofit, to directing a feature film.

And that's not a straight line.

So that's a human life.

That's right.

Exactly right.

But, but so here my curiosity is like, when you are in the middle of a setback, not after it, not looking back on it also, but right off it, like, what does your internal dialogue sound like like now compared to what it sounded like when you were started drinking?

Okay, so very good question.

If you're in the middle of chaos like I was, what is the internal dialogue?

We're either.

Here's what we're doing when we're, when we're either addicted to something or we have a destructive mindset is we're doing one of two things.

Typically, we're either traveling to the past and we're reviewing all of our mistakes.

Oh, I was an alcoholic.

I got drunk.

I passed out in my closet.

My wife found me.

That actually happened to me multiple times.

We're revisiting all these mistakes that does absolutely no good for us.

On the other side of this coin is we're transporting in time to the future and we're worried about what's going to happen.

Will I ever be able to recover?

Will I lose my marriage?

Will my kids not love me?

Will I be able to go to.

We get into these frenzies of traveling to the past or traveling to the future.

But all of that is a mistake.

All of that's a mistake because we can't do anything about that.

We have to be present.

I can't be thinking about the future when I'm having a conversation with you because it doesn't matter, and it's not guaranteed to me.

And I can't be thinking about the past either.

All I can do is be in this moment trying to give you the very best message that goes out through this podcast and touches lives.

So number one, when you're trying to unbury yourself, you have to stay in the present and you just have to do the next best thing.

Okay, I have all these problems.

What is one thing that I can do to make one problem better?

Go out and do that right away and just move on to the next one and stay in the present.

So for someone who's rebuilt themselves once and it's terrified of it falling apart again, because that fear doesn't just disappear.

So how do you stay in the woke without white knuckling it kind of daily?

Well, again, let's go back to the I call it the time machine.

When I get in my time machine, I'm transporting to the past or to the future.

You just asked me about what happens if it all falls apart.

That's in the future.

It's a fear, it's an anxiety about the future.

You have to get out of that and you have to just do your very best a hundred percent.

Today.

What can I do to ensure that the future is good?

Because today's all we have, right?

Yeah.

I like to say, stay out of your time machine.

And I'm talking to myself, not you or anybody.

I tell myself, dude, stay out of your time machine.

Because you can't do anything in that time machine.

Disable it, rip the transmission out, because you don't need to be in it.

Exactly.

When you're thinking about fear and anxiety, I know this isn't a minor thing because I have them both and I face them every day, but you can rely on other people.

I love quotes, I love thinkers.

And there's a thinker, her name's Anais Nin.

She's from.

Anyway, she said life shrinks and expands, shrinks and expands in proportion to our courage.

So if you feel like your life is shrinking, add some courage and just remember that the more courage we have, the more our life will expand.

That's a really good quote to hang on to.

Very true.

Like, I want to ask you something for the person who are listening right now, maybe they'll be listening later as well.

Was the person who hasn't told anyone how heavy things have gotten.

Maybe they are also a veteran.

Maybe they are not.

Or maybe they, they are just someone who's been running from something For a long time.

At the end, they're tired.

If you could sit across from that person right now, just two of you, what would you want them to hear?

I would want to.

I would want them to hear that there's hope.

Number one, there's always hope, but you gotta.

You gotta step toward it.

You gotta believe it.

And there's always hope.

There's always hope.

So I would.

I would say, tell me your story.

That's powerful, because that just opens up a door for them to say, oh, you know, I had a rough childhood.

Well, tell me more about that.

Tell me more about that.

And what I'm trying to do is get them to share what's going on inside them.

And it doesn't matter what you've done in the past.

It does not matter what you've done in the past.

You can do that.

You can use that for good.

That's what people have to know.

Like, you can make mistakes, and you can use those for good.

I made a lot of mistakes.

What am I doing today?

I'm sharing those mistakes with you and how I turn things around.

Those stories can be used for a powerful purpose.

I got a phone call yesterday from a friend whose husband just relapsed, and he's in the hospital.

And the one thing that I let her know is there's hope for him, but he has to want it more than she does.

So if I was sitting across the table from somebody who's struggling, I would ask them, do you want to get better?

Because I want you to get better, but I can't want it more than you do.

And I would tell them there's hope, but you have to want that hope and you have to move towards it.

And you have to.

You have to find the people, the community, the programs, a higher power to help you, to give you strength.

You have to ask for help, too.

And if listeners wants to connect with you, how they can connect.

I do a lot of writing on substack, so terryweaver.substack.com and I'm a little active on Facebook, so that social media platform.

And then I would check out this crazy movie that we just released.

It's called the Beast of Trinity, Texas.

And it looks like a creature feature and a horror, but it's.

There's actually a lot of meaning packed into it, and it's a fun story.

So I'd encourage people to.

This, again, is what I was talking about.

When people interact with me or this podcast or watch my movie or read my books, I want them to leave a better person than when they showed up.

So dear listeners we'll put all all of Terry's links into the show notes including his substack and the Beast of Trinity Texas which you can definitely watch right now on tv.

Amazon prime and Apple TV go support this man's work.

It's really important and dear listeners I would say so.

I mean obviously this is the wrap up today's episode but I would say like if something in this conversation moved you then please sit with it for a moment before you scroll to the next thing.

I'm just assuming that you you are scrolling and if you know someone who needs to hear Terry's story please share this episode with them because sometimes the most human thing technology can do is carry one person's truth to another person who actually meet in today.

So with this hope this is your host Avik and this is mindmates machine.

Take care of your mind and I'll see you in the next episode.

Thank you so much.