Hey, ADHD-ish fam! 🚀 

Have you ever wondered why some neurodivergent business owners just seem to get so much done and others have a permanent seat on the struggle bus?  Is it medication, meditation or exercise?   Is it their morning routine or have they simply found the perfect productivity strategy that continues to escape you?

In honor of ADHD Awareness Month,  I’m sharing a game-changing strategy that has the power to lift your mood, energize your day, and keep you on track – introducing the Dopamine Menu! 🧠✨

First introduced by YouTuber Jessica Mc Cabe of “How to ADHD” and Eric Tivers of ADHD Rewired, the Dopamine Menu (or dopamenu for those who love shortcuts…)  is a simple but wickedly effective tool for meeting our brain’s need for stimulation and reminding us where to get it, without getting ourselves into trouble.  

Dividing the things that stimulate our brains and give us a squirt of joy juice (dopamine) into easy to remember categories that resemble a restaurant menu - starters,  mains, sides and desserts keeps the Dopamine Menu feeling playful and fun, so we will actually take advantage of it. 

The dopamine menu is to the ADHD-ish brain what meal planning and prep is to those who want to eat a healthier diet, but just can’t seem to break free from snack foods.  The best part about having a Dopamine Menu is that you don’t have to follow it perfectly and you can change it up whenever you want, so it stays shiny and new. 

🎙️ What You'll Learn:

• The truth about stimulant medication and mood
• How dopamine effects mood, energy and motivation 
• A step-by-step guide to create your own Dopamine Menu
• Tips for making your Dopamine Menu convenient, effective, and sustainable
• Suggestions for using your Dopamine Menu for dealing with procrastination, impulsivity and losing the day to social media 

Create a dopamine menu and post it on social media to get my feedback & I’ll shout YOU out on a future episode:  

Instagram: @coachdiannwingert   -   LinkedIn: Diann Wingert Coaching

Listener Shout Out:  This week's shout out goes to long time listener, Andrea Sousa, a paralegal and law student who shared how her ADHD traits of curiosity and hyperfocus help her excel at locating difficult to find names and addresses, to the amazement of everyone in her office. Thank you, Andrea, for spreading awareness and celebrating the unique strengths that come with ADHD!

Caring is Sharing: If you're enjoying ADHD-ish, please share the podcast with another neurodivergent business owner. It's ADHD Awareness Month, so let's spread that awareness far and wide! 

You know, one of the biggest myths about ADHD has to do with stimulant medication. Now many, many, many people believe that all you need to do is get a prescription for Adderall, Ritalin, or Vyvanse, and remember to get it filled and remember to take it, and all of your ADHD related problems will disappear automagically. I call this myth the magic pill. The reality is whether you get diagnosed and medicated or not, you still need to manage your life, your responsibility, and your relationships with a brain that varies from day to day in terms of mood, energy, and motivation. I often talk about these three things as trending together. Anything that pulls one of them up or down pulls the other 2 with it. You just signed a big client? Well, your mood, energy, and motivation get a massive boost. But miss your flight to pitch a big client? Quite the opposite.

And in both examples, your medication has little to no effect. Why? Because stimulant medication does one thing and one thing well. It does an excellent job of reducing distractibility so that you can stay focused longer at whatever it is you're focusing at. It's not a mood stabilizer. For that, we need self acceptance, self awareness, and a few more skills up our sleeves. And one of my favorite skills is the dopamine menu, the topic of this episode. The dopamine menu was first introduced by hugely popular YouTuber Jessica McCabe in her popular How to ADHD series and coach and therapist Eric Tivers of ADHD Rewired.

So the idea with a dopamine menu is to create a personalized list of activities that give you a squirt of dopamine. And by doing this on a regular basis, we can gain control over our mood, energy, and motivation, giving ourselves a mental pick me up when we need it most. This will then kick start energy and motivation. Hey, it's no secret that we are way more likely to be motivated when our mood is lifted. So categorizing the natural ways that we can get dopamine means we get what we need, dopamine, when we need it and when it's convenient. And I cannot emphasize this part enough. Convenience is a crucial part of the dopamine menu because, let's face it, whatever you have on that menu is competing with the low hanging fruit and immediate gratification of things like social media, snacking, and online shopping.

So having a dopamine menu or dopa menu, if you're into abbreviations, is necessary for these three reasons. If you're ADHD-ish, you need stimulation and a lot of it. If your brain is not adequately stimulated, your brain will be craving dopamine, and it frankly does not care where you get it from. This can mean anything from wasting time on social media to engaging in all kinds of problematic behaviors, even falling asleep because you're bored and understimulated, you don't even have to be tired. We can even get depressed if we are chronically understimulated, and this is no joke. So if you are ADHD ish, stimulation is not a preference. It is a need and if we ignore it, all kinds of bad things can and will happen.

The second reason is if you're ADHD-ish, you're not gonna be very successful for very long trying to bribe, bully, or badger yourself into being productive or focusing on the most important tasks. And you're not gonna have much luck with just about any of the strategies that neurotypicals are constantly writing books about, promising how you can 10x your productivity by following their simple proven formula. Hey, you and I have a different operating system. So it stands to reason we need a different solution. And luckily for us, a dopamine menu works because it's meant for brains like ours, not the other 90% of the planet. And the third reason is when we don't have a dopamine menu, we are going to naturally default to whatever habits we already have in place when we're feeling bored or when our mood, energy, or motivation are low.

And for most of us, no shame, that tends to be scrolling on social media, binging on YouTube or podcasts or Netflix, depending on the time of day or even bed rotting. I had a client several years ago whose dopamine deficiency was so profound, she could literally fall asleep at any time of the day or night simply because she had nothing to do. It would be a terrible idea to try to come up with a dopamine menu when you are already in a state of boredom. So I strongly suggest that you put one together when you are feeling reasonably stimulated. It's kind of like you don't go to the supermarket when you're already hungry. It's just a bad idea.

Now putting together a dopamine menu is actually an excellent activity to do with another ADHD-ish friend or even during a body doubling session. If you find yourself procrastinating on coming up with one, even though you know you wanna do it. So now you know why a dopamine menu is important and beneficial. So let's talk about the specifics of exactly what it is and how to create one in just 4 steps. I'm going to follow the model established by Jessica McCabe and Erica Tivers because it spells out DOPA, d o p a. And let's be honest, the more easy it is to remember, the more likely you're going to do it.

So here are the 4 steps, design is number 1. Now in this phase, you just wanna let yourself go hog wild, I am not playing. In this phase, the design phase, just list all the things that give you a squirt of joy juice. Jessica divides hers into entrees, desserts, sides, and specials so that your dopamine menu actually resembles a restaurant menu. Starters are when you need to get started. Or they can also be used for when you are taking a break, but you don't want to lose too much momentum, or when you're ramping up for something bigger and you don't wanna get lured into distractions. When I'm working with clients on creating their dopamine menu, we front load their morning routine with starters for this very reason.

Some of my starters are having a dance party in the living room. I do close the blinds on occasion. I don't want to frighten the neighbors. Another one is going out in the yard with my dogs and throwing their bones or balls because we both get a dopamine hit that way. I also have a starter where I call my daughter, Marissa, for a quick hit of connection, or I may watch 5 minutes of funny pet videos on TikTok. Now for many people, that 5 minutes on TikTok has to go into the dessert category, and I'll talk about that more later. So after the starters, we've got the mains, and this is all again in the design step. The mains are engaging activities that are gonna take a little more time than starters, but they also offer more dopamine and more enjoyment.

In my menu, I invite a neighbor over to play a game, and I'm really getting into domino style games like Rummy Cub and Mexican Train. That takes a little more time, I have to plan a little bit ahead, but I get more dopamine out of it than I get out of that 5 minutes playing with my dog in the yard. Another one on my mains is working on an art or craft project. And I find that I need at least 30 minutes to really get the dopamine from that. If I don't have an endless expansive time, I'm gonna have to set a timer. Because once the dopamine starts flowing, I could get into hyperfocus and lose track of the day. Another item on my mains is go to the library or a bookstore and browse through the titles.

I am such a word nerd, and I love reading so much, but frankly don't have enough time to read as much as I like that spending 30 to 40 minutes in a library or a bookstore, even if I leave empty handed, gives me dopamine because it gets my creativity flowing. It gets my imagination flowing. It gets my interest in all kinds of things flowing. So it's hit the spot, even if I don't check a book out or buy one. You have to know yourself and what it's actually gonna take. If you don't get enough dopamine just looking, you're gonna have to be more selective. Otherwise, you could get into some financial trouble, and I'll talk more about that in a minute. Another item on my mains is taking a yoga class, which requires a little bit of planning or riding my Peloton, which I can do anytime because it's right here at home.

Sides, like side dishes are served alongside the main. You usually don't do the sides on their own, but when done alongside a main, it adds variety and interest. So for example, if my main is that I'm playing Mexican Train with one of my neighbors, I can do aside by playing music in the background, or lighting candles, or altering the lighting of the room. I love dimmer switches because I like that I can change the mood of the room by dialing the lighting up or down. You can also use body doubling to enhance your productivity as a side, if the thing that you're working on is your main. See, sides just enhance, they don't usually stand alone. And everybody's favorite category on the menu or at least mine because I have a massive sweet tooth like many who are ADHD-ish, desserts are best used as a reward for completing something important.

It is so easy to tell yourself, oh, I'm just gonna do this quick little thing to get some dopamine, and then I'm gonna shift on over to do the hard thing, the important thing, the thing I've been procrastinating on, resisting, or avoiding. Come on, we can't forget about our human nature, much less our ADHD-ish nature. The kinds of things that belong in the dessert category really should be used as a reward. If we put them first and pretend that they're starters, we're probably going to sabotage ourself. I know this by experience. So things that go into my starters are engaging with a friend in a group chat, on Voxer or WhatsApp. It could be one friend, it could be a whole group, especially if it's just a quick thing.

I don't know who's gonna be available at that time on WhatsApp or Voxer. So if I'm part of a group, whoever responds, I get some dopamine. Eating a sweet or savory treat, and size absolutely matters for this one. You want it to be a dessert, you don't want it to be going whole hog. Watching a single episode of a bingeable TV series is a great dessert, but you gotta catch yourself before you let Netflix or whatever platform you're on roll over to the next episode because, you know, they're designed that way so that we keep binging. Or play a game on your phone. Now all of these things, because they're desserts, because they're quick hits of dopamine, we can get carried away.

So it's really important that you know yourself and that you set limits and put limits in place if need be. Some of my current favorite games on, my phone are word games. Like, I'm a word nerd, self admittedly. So, currently, I'm playing Pinpoint and Cross Climb in LinkedIn. I was so surprised that LinkedIn started offering games, but they are literally 5 minutes, and it's like beat the clock. And I try to guess them before the 5 minutes is up, and I feel like a real smarty pants. I get my little hit of dopamine, and then I can go back to whatever I need to do next.

Now you may notice that very few of the things I have mentioned so far have any cost associated with if, financial that is. They all have a time cost and that is by design. Because many people who are ADHD-ish are prone to spending money whenever they're bored. And while there is no doubt that shopping, whether it's online or in real life, gives a temporary boost of dopamine, spending money you don't really have or buying things you don't really need will absolutely leave you feeling worse than before. So I encourage people to fill their dopa menu with things that don't cost money and make a challenge. Make it fun to think of things that don't cost anything. Because let's face it, just like all impulsive behaviors that share the dopamine deficit driver, they are really hard to break away from, even when the consequences are painful.

So the very, very best things to put on your dopamine menu are things that bring you joy, but that don't come with the bitter aftertaste of shame, guilt, or regret. So in this design phase of creating your dopamine menu, just brainstorm and don't judge. Get all the ideas out of your head from jumping on your kid's trampoline to taking the whole family to Cirque du Soleil or even taking your dream vacation. Get all the ideas out of your head and onto paper or your whiteboard or a spreadsheet, and then leave it alone. I do not recommend going through all 4 steps at the same time. Just get all the ideas out in the design phase and then walk away. And if you need to set a reminder on your calendar or your to do list to come back for the next phases, by all means, do so.

So what is the next phase? Omit. Omit is basically the editing stage. Because when you come back to your dopamine menu, you're gonna wanna use your critical thinking skills and start putting the items into the categories right? You've got your starters, your mains, your sides, and your desserts. But when you're in the brainstorming stage, it's all just spilling out willy nilly. So the omit category, the emit stage is kind of like decluttering your closet or your garage. Like, not everything you have on your menu is gonna make the cut, and most items will need some sort of conditions. So some of the items will give you a massive shot of dopamine, but you either don't have the money or the time to experience them right now, take them out.

Take them out, that's what omit means. Omit, delete, you know, just take it out. Because if it stays on the menu and you really know that you can't use it, it's not really gonna give you any dopamine. If anything, it's gonna make you feel shitty every time you look at it and you realize you can't do it. So take it out, it's okay. Take it off the list for now, put it away for future use. If you forget about it, oh, well, because your dopamine menu really needs to serve you. And it can only serve you when it only contains those choices and experiences that you can actually enjoy and that will give you the stimulation your brain needs now without negative repercussions.

The dopamine menu is a living document that can be revised as your circumstances change, so be ruthless in what you decide to omit. If it isn't something you can actually do, even though it sounds very exciting, leave it out, just a minute. Okay, the next stage is prep. In order for your dopamine menu to actually serve you, you need to have everything required to execute or implement the items. Like, you would get a massive dopamine boost from painting an abstract acrylic on canvas if you're a painter. But if you don't have all the supplies, the canvas, the paint, the brush, the easel, the right lighting, it defeats the purpose to have it on the menu.

Now I've mentioned this in other episodes of this podcast, but many people get a tremendous amount of satisfaction, stimulation, and dopamine from planning a future activity, often a vacation. Some people don't enjoy the planning part, they only enjoy the doing part. That would be me. So it really doesn't serve the person who doesn't enjoy the planning, who doesn't get any stimulation, satisfaction, or dopamine from the planning to put plan my next vacation on their dopamine menu. Take it out. It doesn't serve us to compare ourselves to others either when it comes to the dopamine menu because each of us is different. And what I find stimulating or exciting or dopamine inducing isn't gonna be the same as what you find exciting, stimulating, and dopamine inducing.

Also, those things are gonna change at different seasons of your life and if you're a woman, different times of the month as well. So set yourself up for success and make sure that you have everything you need and that it is accessible. A lot of people gather all the things that they need for a particular craft, that they wanna do, but then they don't have it organized in a way that they can get to it on demand. That defeats the purpose. You may not have space to have a craft room or a painting studio or a music studio where you live, most of us don't. But could you carve out a corner of your garage or your home office or your spare room for a crafts table or an easel so that you could get your dopamine hit and then go back to work? Accessibility and convenience are part of this prep stage as well.

If you have all the items, but they're not accessible, you literally have to get in your car, go somewhere to use them, it's not gonna happen. You're gonna default to the low hanging fruit of social media and, you know, online shopping or binging YouTube, whatever. So set yourself up for success. Each of my 3 adult children has learned to set up spaces in their living environments. And 2 of them live in the San Francisco Bay Area where real estate is very expensive, rents are high, and they do not have a lot of living space. But each of them has learned to set up spaces in their living environments that allow them to tap into a variety of dopamine inducing activities that can then be used to fuel other things they don't necessarily enjoy. This is one of the most important life skills for people who are ADHD-ish to learn.

If we have to go out to get the things we need for our dopamine menu at a time when we are already a quart low on dopamine, honey, that is just expecting way too much of your brain. It's really the same concept as meal planning and prepping. We may not do what we need to do to get the best quality dopamine simply because we have everything we need. It has to be accessible and available. And guess what, we're still human. And sometimes we are going to go with the path of least resistance, whether it's doom scrolling or online shopping. But at least with a dopamine menu and having things convenient and available, at least we have a shot at the higher quality stuff.

Which brings me to the last step in the dopamine menu plan, advertise. Advertising just means reminding ourselves and maybe the people that we live with, there are things that we can do to feel and function better. Most adults who are ADHD-ish are visually oriented, so we need to feel it to do it, and we need to see it to feel it, or we probably won't even remember it exists. I am convinced that we are the people for whom the expression, out of sight, out of mind, was created. So we need to advertise our dopamine menu to ourselves. Why, because if we don't, we will simply forget that we have one. We will forget why we need one. We will forget that we have better choices than procrastination and waiting for the muse or the motivation fairy to visit us. And if we make our dopamine menu attractive, we are more likely to pay attention to it so that it can work its magic on us.

Now listen, a dopamine menu is not a magic pill any more than Ritalin or Adderall is, but it does work if you use it. And you're more likely to use it if you put it somewhere where you can see it. The other way to advertise your dopamine menu is to eliminate any extra effort it requires to activate. So for example, if rock climbing gives you dopamine like my son Andre, get a membership to a rock climbing gym and even better join with a friend. Don't assume that you're gonna go rock climbing in nature every time you need some dopamine, because there are a lot more steps involved with preparing and planning.

If you need dopamine and you need it quick, go for a bike ride. How will you remember to do that instead of doom scrolling? Well, you might need to put the bike right in front of the damn couch. So instead of flopping down in front of the TV, you grab the damn bike and head out the door instead. Now I know what you're thinking, if you live with other people, you're gonna wanna let them in on your dopamine menu so that they can understand how to support you in getting your dopamine hits and better understand why you need to do things that stimulate your brain, even if they don't. Life works better when our brains get enough dopamine, and we are so much easier to live with when we do. But also, our energy, our creativity, and our originality as business owners totally depend on it.

Ideally, we'd all be constructing our lives and crafting our habits so that we get a steady balanced dopamine diet by working dopamine starters, mains, sides, and desserts into our lives on a regular basis. But how many of us have lives that are so carefully controlled? If you decide to give the dopamine diet a try, decide ahead of time that it will be a 100% positive experience, and not just one more thing that you should do because you won't. Haven't we all had enough of those experiences already? When I encourage one of my clients to create a dopamine menu, it is with the explicit agreement that they practice radical self acceptance. So however much or little they use their dopamine menu, it's a win. This is especially important if you tend to be an all or nothing kind of person or a perfectionist. With the dopamine menu, everything counts. We all have good days and bad days, and just like with a food diet, you can cheat and still make progress.

So if you decide to create a dopamine menu and share it on social media, be sure to tag me @coachdiannwingert on Instagram or Diann Wingert coaching on LinkedIn. When I see it, I will not only give you some extra tips on how to make it even better, I promise to shout you out on a future episode of ADHD-ish. This week's shout out goes to Andrea Sousa who responded to my question on episode 231. I asked listeners to share an ADHD trait that they have that makes them stand out, but it's never going to appear in the DSM. Here's what she said, in my law office as a paralegal, I am the one who's tasked with finding people and addresses. I can find any person or address every time and the whole office is amazed. I absolutely attribute it to my ADHD.

Thank you for sharing that, Andrea, and I can totally picture just how enjoyable that is and how much dopamine you're getting from amazing everyone in your office. Hey, if you are enjoying ADHD-ish, will you please share it with at least one more neurodivergent business owner? Let's support one another with the message that what makes us different makes us special. It's ADHD awareness month, so why don't we spread THAT awareness.