Good morning, Five Minute Families. Many of us spent time with family and friends this past weekend for the Labor Day holiday. In all of those gatherings, the likelihood is extremely high that someone was dealing with anxiety considering that about 1 in 5 people are dealing with a diagnosable anxiety disorder in America today. Today, we are going to talk about what a five-minute family can do to show the love of Christ to one another even in a time of increased anxiousness for one of the family members.
Why would this be a discussion for a Christian family? Well, unfortunately, there are people out there who do not recognize the importance of mental health and mental health issues. God commands us to love one another. He encourages us to encourage one another. He loves us through the difficult times as an example of how we are to love one another through tough times. Many websites have specific ways family members can help or simply cope with a loved ones anxiety. Please remember that your family member with anxiety does not want to experience the rapid heart rate, constant overthinking, possible nausea, sweating, and difficulty concentrating, to name just a few of the symptoms.
A blog at calm.com has numerous tips. These are the five we felt were of the highest priority and why.
1. Listen deeply and compassionately. James 1:19 tells us to “let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.” When we are listening to a loved one with anxiety, we need to practice being fully present, not merely trying to think of how we may respond, especially if we have been thinking about ways to correct their faulty thinking.
2. Be aware of your impact on your loved one. Your family member is facing an inner, constant bully and they are likely constantly telling themselves that they are always a burden. Reminding them that you enjoy being with them, even when they are anxious, can mean more than you can possibly imagine. One thing that the blog pointed out that is a very practical matter is that if you are going to be late or change the plans, you must realize that your anxious family member will need a quick explanation in order to avoid unnecessary hurt or worry. 1 Thessalonians 5:11 reminds us to “encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.”
3. Check in regularly. Put another way, be willing to ask, “are you feeling anxious right now?” followed up by, “is there something I can do to help?” Sometimes, the person saddled with anxiety has behaviors that are pre-cursors, and by helping them work through the difficult moments, you can be a part of the solution. That solution may be a simple acknowledgment that it is ok that they are having a rough time or it could be to suggest that it would be ok for them to step away either alone or with you, depending on the circumstances. 1 Corinthians 12:26 admonishes us to remember that “if one member suffers, all suffer together.”
4. Let the anxiety be. As a secondary point to checking in and recognizing the anxious moment, realize, too, that it might not be a good moment to try to talk them out of their feelings. Let your loved one with anxiety know that you know this isn’t something he or she is choosing and that while you may not understand their feeling fully, you are a safe person to talk to about the anxiety. Take a moment to silently pray along the lines of John 16:33 that your anxious loved one will have peace, that though in this world we will have tribulations, God will help our hearts overcome.”
5. And, finally, even with all that, remember to hold your own boundaries. You must take care of yourself as you try to minister to one another. Just as keeping them informed with changes, communicate your need for a breather or a time alone, but remember to set a time in the future for your anxious loved one to know that you guys will reconnect. As we have mentioned before, Matthew 22:39 tells us to “love our neighbors as ourselves” which means that we are absolutely supposed to take care of ourselves and put healthy limits in place.
If you or a family member is struggling with anxiety or any mental health issue or even a difficult moment in life, please reach out to your pastor, a mentor, a trusted, godly confidante, or counselor. God wants us to walk through this life with one another, helping one another, guiding and building one another up. Please don’t try to be a “lone ranger” Christian, especially if you are having problems.
Thank you for joining us today. Be blessed!
