Hope is Coming: Lessons for Life's Waiting Seasons | Ep. 124 with Brad & Paige Straarup

Speaker 1

I am so excited for today's guest because today I sit down with married couple Brad and Paige. This incredible couple has walked through several struggles and years of wading through infertility, loss, and even deportation. But through it all, they discovered what it means to truly live in the empty spaces and not waste the weight. Let's get into it.

:: 00:29:09

Pat McCalla

you guys got married back in: 2017

:: 00:37:14

Pat McCalla

And right after your

:: 00:38:24

Pat McCalla

marriage and your honeymoon, I believe. Right.

:: 00:41:12

Brad Straarup

Yeah.

:: 00:41:23

Brad Straarup

I kind

:: 00:41:28

Pat McCalla

of had a shock. That's that very few of our listeners

:: 00:45:03

Brad Straarup

probably got a stronger married life. Explain

:: 00:48:00

Pat McCalla

what would happen.

:: 00:49:06

Brad Straarup

Yeah. Highly recommend you start your, marriage this way. So I'm from South Africa, which is why I talk a little funny. Can.

:: 00:55:00

Brad Straarup

Yes.

:: 00:56:01

Brad Straarup

Praise God, came to the States. Obviously. We met here in America. Ended up getting engaged, got married.

:: 01:02:07

Brad Straarup

So we applied for. It's called an adjustment of status. And, we we went on honeymoon. We went to Jamaica, which was awesome. Had so much jerk chicken. Like, we're having the time of our lives.

:: 01:12:25

Brad Straarup

Five days.

:: 01:14:12

Brad Straarup

Yeah. So we're like, we're so ready to come back. We're about to move. We we've packed up our house and we're like, we're we're ready to start our lives coming through passport control. I end up, being pulled by some police officers, and they were like, who is this person?

:: 01:27:17

Brad Straarup

Just like an agent. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

:: 01:29:22

Brad Straarup

comes through, like, who's this person? And I'm like, it's my wife. And they're like, come with me. I end up getting detained.

:: 01:34:04

Brad Straarup

I'm

:: 01:34:09

Pat McCalla

kind of nervous right away. Or were you thinking

:: 01:36:00

Brad Straarup

no.

:: 01:36:08

Brad Straarup

I was like, I'm great.

:: 01:37:13

Brad Straarup

I literally was like,

:: 01:38:12

Pat McCalla

Jamaica. You're thinking everything's

:: 01:39:28

Brad Straarup

I was literally like.

:: 01:41:04

Brad Straarup

Go on ahead. I was like, I'll be.

:: 01:42:26

Brad Straarup

Like,

:: 01:42:29

Paige Straarup

we had a few questions for you and waved me on. And we're just like, you know, we just got to ask him some questions.

:: 01:48:12

Paige Straarup

So

:: 01:48:22

Brad Straarup

So I go into this room, they grab my phone, they grab everything, and, they're like, we're sending you back to South Africa. And I'm like, wait, what? And they're like, yeah, you have you have no status here. You have nothing. So basically, I get everything taken. I'm detained for like, it was like 24 to 36 hours.

:: 02:07:12

Brad Straarup

And I get one phone call. So it's almost like

:: 02:09:10

Brad Straarup

I'm hung in prison. Yeah. So it's like, fortunately, I was able to call her and collect call my, my parents who were in in America for our wedding

:: 02:18:01

Brad Straarup

and they hadn't left because.

:: 02:19:19

Brad Straarup

We.

:: 02:20:04

Brad Straarup

Married.

:: 02:20:22

Brad Straarup

There was still here. And I'm like, hey, by the way, I'm going to South Africa. I'm going to beat you there. I'll come and greet you at the airport. But we our whole life just got turned upside down. And they said they were like, hey, this is going to take this happens all the time. It's going to take two weeks.

:: 02:33:17

Brad Straarup

And it took two years. So

:: 02:35:23

Brad Straarup

I was in South Africa for two years and she had to do and we we did long distance. So highly recommend you start your marriage that way.

:: 02:40:24

Pat McCalla

So your first two years. So you've been married about eight years

:: 02:43:03

Brad Straarup

now. Yeah.

:: 02:43:19

Pat McCalla

first two years, you guys are half

:: 02:46:07

Brad Straarup

Back and forth.

:: 02:47:07

Paige Straarup

basically you know like visiting.

:: 02:48:25

Brad Straarup

Once in a while. Yes. Yep I was

:: 02:49:27

Paige Straarup

able to I worked in social media and marketing at the time. I kind of had I worked with the company and had to kind of start my own consulting because I needed to be able to be flexible, to come be with them. I was like, there's no way I'm not doing long distance marriage. I didn't sign up for this.

:: 03:05:19

Paige Straarup

I was actually ready. They came when on my side of the story, when they, the security person came and told me, like came out to me sitting on the phone with my dad because I'm like, something's wrong. Brad's been back there for a long time. Comes and tells me your husband's getting sent back to South Africa. My immediate response is like, okay, can I go with him?

:: 03:23:01

Paige Straarup

And they're like.

:: 03:23:29

Brad Straarup

Absolutely not.

:: 03:26:26

Brad Straarup

Married? You don't.

:: 03:28:01

Brad Straarup

Understand. So

:: 03:28:21

Paige Straarup

I immediately was like, I knew the moment this happened to us, that I was like, we're not going to be a part and we're going to fight for this. And so, even on his first call, I'm like, so should I get on the next flight?

:: 03:40:07

Paige Straarup

He's like, no, absolutely not.

:: 03:41:16

Brad Straarup

can take two weeks. It's going to be.

:: 03:43:00

Brad Straarup

Easy to figure this out.

:: 03:44:18

Brad Straarup

It'll be hilarious.

:: 03:45:16

Brad Straarup

Six weeks

:: 03:46:01

Paige Straarup

later that I ended up getting on a plane and booked a one way flight to South Africa and stayed as long as I could on my visitor status. And, it was I was able to be there.

:: 03:57:02

Paige Straarup

And when I was there, file for extension and in total, I think I was there for five months the first time,

:: 04:01:23

Paige Straarup

which we never thought we'd be there that long in total. So then I would book a one way home, and then I'd be home

:: 04:07:27

Brad Straarup

for a.

:: 04:08:06

Brad Straarup

Couple of months.

:: 04:08:24

Brad Straarup

For

:: 04:08:27

Paige Straarup

a couple months long enough for my, really my status, like the complexity of it.

:: 04:12:21

Paige Straarup

It's pretty crazy. But for for me to be able to go back into the country again.

:: 04:17:10

Paige Straarup

And we did that. I did that six times. And it was just

:: 04:21:25

Brad Straarup

for me every single

:: 04:22:22

Paige Straarup

time. And even just we were young, we were paying

:: 04:25:22

Brad Straarup

attorneys.

:: 04:26:05

Brad Straarup

Oh, yeah, we were.

:: 04:27:07

Brad Straarup

Oh, yeah.

:: 04:27:27

Paige Straarup

expensive flights. And we just thought, I mean, it was the craziest season of our life.

:: 04:31:26

Paige Straarup

And I think, I don't know that we've ever prayed harder, or more frequently then

:: 04:36:18

Brad Straarup

Know for sure.

:: 04:38:03

Paige Straarup

two years, because it was truly

:: 04:40:05

Paige Straarup

I always tell people it wasn't like someone said to us, hey, this is going to take two years. Settle in. It was, hey, this could take two weeks, and then two weeks was like, okay, this may take a few months.

:: 04:49:18

Paige Straarup

And then after a few months it would be like, okay, really, it should be any day now. And when I say that we called, the immigration Services every single day for the remainder of that two years, thinking that this could be the day that

:: 05:01:18

Brad Straarup

we, yeah,

:: 05:02:08

Paige Straarup

get what we need to go back home. So we truly lived day by day by day.

:: 05:06:26

Paige Straarup

And that can be brutal for anyone. It's a unique situation, but I think so many people can relate. Whatever their story is,

:: 05:14:02

Brad Straarup

Yeah. I think

:: 05:14:19

Paige Straarup

day by day on a prayer. Not many people experience the deportation side.

:: 05:19:26

Paige Straarup

But

:: 05:20:10

Brad Straarup

people relate to that but.

:: 05:21:10

Brad Straarup

Relate

:: 05:21:25

Paige Straarup

to like every day

:: 05:23:17

Brad Straarup

It could be any day. It could be tomorrow.

:: 05:26:08

Brad Straarup

I get.

:: 05:26:17

Brad Straarup

Breakthrough.

:: 05:27:06

Brad Straarup

For 600.

:: 05:27:24

Brad Straarup

Days. I get the

:: 05:28:22

Paige Straarup

answer. This will be the day that I get the cancer free. You know, diagnosed like

:: 05:33:03

Paige Straarup

I'm freed of this. So, we we felt it in a very tangible way, but, Yeah, but really, we we took that season to just share in the moment the pain and the grief of waiting and, and really, we're able to connect with so many people, even online that, that we're walking through that.

:: 05:49:29

Paige Straarup

And so when we realized it was the first of many waiting seasons for us,

:: 05:52:29

Brad Straarup

But yeah, it

:: 05:53:16

Paige Straarup

was an intense and unique.

:: 05:54:25

Paige Straarup

One, for sure.

:: 05:55:22

Brad Straarup

Yeah, yeah, I

:: 05:56:23

Pat McCalla

did a message years ago

:: 05:58:01

Pat McCalla

and it was about waiting

:: 06:00:20

Brad Straarup

So you

:: 06:01:06

Pat McCalla

know,

:: 06:01:16

Pat McCalla

the whole you guys are about to plant a church.

:: 06:03:06

Brad Straarup

Yeah, yeah. You

:: 06:04:21

Pat McCalla

know how this works. But you know, they did the whole little bumper video and everything. And then I walk out on the stage and the lights come up.

:: 06:10:16

Pat McCalla

And then I just

:: 06:11:05

Brad Straarup

stood there quite brilliant. Brilliant like you was so like.

:: 06:16:06

Brad Straarup

People started like, oh I see.

:: 06:18:13

Brad Straarup

Okay.

:: 06:18:27

Brad Straarup

Yeah, yeah. And then the funny thing is it's

:: 06:20:24

Pat McCalla

like I had just been really honest with them because back in, like, when I was about ten years ago, I started struggling with panic

:: 06:26:06

Brad Straarup

attacks. Oh. Well,

:: 06:27:06

Pat McCalla

as I'm speaking.

:: 06:27:28

Pat McCalla

So I had shared that with the concrete so I could

:: 06:29:23

Brad Straarup

actually see some.

:: 06:32:17

Brad Straarup

Lord help and Lord help me.

:: 06:34:06

Brad Straarup

The first

:: 06:34:19

Pat McCalla

words out of my mouth after this long, long, uncomfortable wages had waiting is is very difficult.

:: 06:41:10

Brad Straarup

Yeah.

:: 06:41:22

Paige Straarup

So yeah.

:: 06:42:05

Paige Straarup

And we do

:: 06:42:21

Pat McCalla

like you said,

:: 06:43:11

Pat McCalla

everybody understands that maybe they didn't go

:: 06:46:07

Brad Straarup

Totally. Totally.

:: 06:47:26

Pat McCalla

Everything.

:: 06:48:20

Pat McCalla

but it's like you think it's going to be a day or a week,

:: 06:51:13

Paige Straarup

Yeah. It

:: 06:52:04

Pat McCalla

turns into a month

:: 06:52:27

Paige Straarup

and

:: 06:53:23

Pat McCalla

six months and eight months,

:: 06:54:27

Brad Straarup

and.

:: 06:55:18

Brad Straarup

Day by day. Yeah, yeah.

:: 06:56:25

Brad Straarup

But is actually

:: 06:57:15

Pat McCalla

now let me pivot to another part of your story. You actually dealt with the struggle with waiting in another area

:: 07:03:28

Brad Straarup

Infertility was something

:: 07:05:03

Pat McCalla

that you guys battled. And I know we

:: 07:06:12

Paige Straarup

have some listeners

:: 07:07:05

Brad Straarup

that

:: 07:08:06

Pat McCalla

have been there or maybe are there right

:: 07:10:19

Paige Straarup

for

:: 07:10:26

Brad Straarup

some other place. Right. We're just like going how?

:: 07:13:26

Brad Straarup

God.

:: 07:14:10

Brad Straarup

Yeah, yeah.

:: 07:15:13

Brad Straarup

It was crazy. It was crazy even how it happened, because we decided that we wanted to start a family and, we got pregnant within. It was like two months.

:: 07:23:06

Paige Straarup

n we got pregnant in April of: 2020

:: 07:28:18

Brad Straarup

Yeah.

:: 07:28:26

Brad Straarup

And,

:: 07:29:13

Paige Straarup

And so,

:: 07:30:04

Paige Straarup

eight weeks into the pregnancy, we, just we had miscarriage and, kind of a dramatic one at that with, emergency. I had an emergency surgery and all the things and with not only just with what was happening in the world, but, for us, I think not being that far removed from from an intense waiting season, getting back to America, definitely for me, the temptation was like, okay, God, haven't we been through enough?

:: 07:54:09

Paige Straarup

Like,

:: 07:54:25

Brad Straarup

totally not again, grieving.

:: 07:57:04

Paige Straarup

I lost my mom when I was 19. So I'd, I'd and she had had several battles with cancer growing up. So it's like I had experienced grief and I was kind of like, okay, God.

:: 08:07:20

Paige Straarup

Like, I thought I had, I thought.

:: 08:09:03

Paige Straarup

I had like paid my tax on this, you know, I didn't think this was going to be another area, but, but we had gotten pregnant so quickly that, we were experiencing grief through the miscarriage, but we were still, like, super hopeful and just like, okay, well, you know, we're going to grieve that, but we're going to try

:: 08:24:18

Brad Straarup

again.

:: 08:24:27

Brad Straarup

Yeah.

:: 08:25:25

Paige Straarup

And then, and we experienced, three years of unexplained infertility, seeing doctors just no answers, no reason why.

:: 08:34:15

Brad Straarup

Which.

:: 08:34:26

Brad Straarup

Is kind of the worst

:: 08:35:19

Brad Straarup

You wish you would know what it is when it's unexplained. It's like there's. Yeah, there's nothing we can do. It's just I don't know why it's happening, but it's happening like do.

:: 08:42:29

Brad Straarup

Yes.

:: 08:43:09

Paige Straarup

And then.

:: 08:44:09

Paige Straarup

Which.

:: 08:44:16

Paige Straarup

Again, they'll just

:: 08:45:07

Pat McCalla

let me jump in really quick. Which again for our audience listening I know this is that

:: 08:49:23

Brad Straarup

Yeah, I've been there.

:: 08:50:26

Brad Straarup

Yeah.

:: 08:51:17

Paige Straarup

You've been or you're there now.

:: 08:53:16

Brad Straarup

totally like I just if I could just get an answer.

:: 08:56:16

Brad Straarup

Then at least I can live with that. Yeah, yeah.

:: 08:58:19

Paige Straarup

But that's not how

:: 09:00:01

Brad Straarup

Often.

:: 09:00:18

Brad Straarup

Yeah.

:: 09:01:05

Paige Straarup

Or struggles in

:: 09:02:00

Pat McCalla

life work very

:: 09:02:23

Brad Straarup

Know.

:: 09:03:03

Brad Straarup

100%, 100%.

:: 09:04:14

Paige Straarup

So,

:: 09:04:27

Paige Straarup

three years and and we were actually, in the process of doing our first fertility treatment. Well, I had taken like, medication and done some, like, I call them, like, light versions of just, like trying to optimize fertility. But, we had scheduled like our first, it's called like aui for those who were on that journey would know what that is.

:: 09:25:12

Paige Straarup

We had schedule it and that was like a total faith step for me, to even just schedule it, the courage it takes, it's like, okay, we're going to try something different. And I was actually

:: 09:35:12

Brad Straarup

so this might be TMI for the listeners, but I was so frustrated because

:: 09:38:22

Paige Straarup

those the things are scheduled based on your woman's cycle.

:: 09:41:13

Paige Straarup

And my cycle became off that month, and it was never it was so regular, and I was so frustrated.

:: 09:46:14

Paige Straarup

With the one

:: 09:47:00

Brad Straarup

month you're going.

:: 09:47:22

Brad Straarup

Yeah, yeah. She's like, why? She's like, this is missing everything up. Like, God.

:: 09:51:03

Paige Straarup

seriously, you got me this far and now I have to

:: 09:53:14

Paige Straarup

reschedule. What if they can't fit me? And I'm just. You're just so ready to have this blessing that we felt like God had promised us. And so I'm so frustrated. And, I actually had a friend of mine, my best friend, texted me out of the blue.

:: 10:08:03

Paige Straarup

She didn't even know I was doing this treatment. And she said, are you pregnant? And I was like, okay, you know better than to ask me this question. That's what I want so bad. She wasn't like, she just was. That's all she said. And I was just like, no.

:: 10:19:07

Brad Straarup

She's highly discerning.

:: 10:20:03

Brad Straarup

And I was like,

:: 10:20:18

Paige Straarup

no, but my, my, I'm late. Like, it's just I'm frustrated because I'm actually I was doing this procedure, all that. And she said, well, if you if your period doesn't come in a couple of days, you need to take a test. And I was just like, I'm so tired of taking tests. I'm so

:: 10:33:20

Brad Straarup

I'm it's just the worst to see negative after.

:: 10:36:14

Brad Straarup

Negative after. Yeah. And

:: 10:38:05

Paige Straarup

two days later, I was going to have to call and schedule an appointment. I was just like, let me take a test. And it was positive. And I was just in that, obviously, like this huge answer to prayer in that moment. But I remember my first thought was like, God, I'm so sorry. Like, I, I was I was like, I was mad at you for not like allowing this to go my way, thinking I need to have this procedure.

:: 11:00:09

Paige Straarup

And meanwhile my cycles late because I'm already it's already done, like it's already finished and so it was such a like just God took us on such a faith journey with that. And I had to just like, realize like and just the sanctification process for me. And even my faith and thinking, I trust

:: 11:17:10

Brad Straarup

you guys. Totally.

:: 11:18:16

Paige Straarup

And now I'm still so much trusting in my plans for how it's going to happen.

:: 11:22:08

Paige Straarup

And his plan was way better than

:: 11:24:03

Brad Straarup

mine. Yeah.

:: 11:24:25

Paige Straarup

And we're so grateful for even just like this, this beautiful, wild story in the way that, it came to be.

:: 11:31:19

Brad Straarup

It's funny. It definitely was a total surprise. It wasn't like, you know, where it's like you have the pregnancy test, you're like, I'm going to film it. And like, you know, I'm going to try to announce it to my husband in some way. She was like, she so did not expect it. She took the test. It was sitting somewhere.

:: 11:44:16

Brad Straarup

And then she didn't she didn't even check it. And then eventually she did and she realized what it was, and I was I was sleeping, it was early in the morning, and she just ran into the room and just went, and just and.

:: 11:54:16

Brad Straarup

I just threw it something like, literally.

:: 11:56:08

Brad Straarup

Something hits me and I'm like, what? And I look and we just lost our minds.

:: 12:00:04

Brad Straarup

it was the best gift in the world. But

:: 12:02:23

Brad Straarup

what was even so crazy about that season, though, like one of the things that we've even learned in our marriage was when I was in South Africa, I'd probably said that that was harder on me than it was on you.

:: 12:12:28

Brad Straarup

And I think some of it is obviously as a, as a husband and as a provider like you just want to you just want to start.

:: 12:17:11

Brad Straarup

Yeah.

:: 12:18:05

Brad Straarup

And when you're like day by day, you're going and you're like, man, I can't even really get a good job because it's like, hey, can you employ me? I might be gone tomorrow. Yeah.

:: 12:26:08

Brad Straarup

You know,

:: 12:26:25

Brad Straarup

or you want to you want to provide, you want to get a house and you're like, I can sign a lease, but it might be a week.

:: 12:31:27

Brad Straarup

So for me, that was that was brutal.

:: 12:34:09

Brad Straarup

Obviously in the infertility season, I would say it was probably a little bit harder on you than it was on me, because it feels like it's happening in in your body to you. But one of the things that we've always learned, even in our marriage, is it's almost like

:: 12:46:23

Brad Straarup

your marriage is a canoe.

:: 12:47:22

Brad Straarup

And when one person's leaning the other way, the other person has to lean the other. So when I was ready to tip us over because I'm frustrated, Paige is saying, no, God's got us.

:: 12:57:05

Brad Straarup

And when she's saying when she's when she's like, man, I'm going to go overboard and I'm like, no, God, God's got us. And I think one of the challenges we've even seen in marriages and God had to teach us this early on is a lot of times one person's like, I'm done and the other person's like, I'm done too.

:: 13:11:21

Brad Straarup

Yeah.

:: 13:12:14

Brad Straarup

And now you capsized.

:: 13:13:22

Brad Straarup

So what

:: 13:14:09

Paige Straarup

good does it do if you're both if you're both drowning you know you have to.

:: 13:17:15

Brad Straarup

One has to be strong.

:: 13:18:12

Brad Straarup

It

:: 13:18:14

Paige Straarup

can be hard. But yeah thankfully for us we had we were able to navigate that.

:: 13:23:00

Brad Straarup

Yes.

:: 13:24:05

Pat McCalla

like you said you were

:: 13:25:00

Brad Straarup

balancing always.

:: 13:26:29

Pat McCalla

So let's speak into that a little bit because again, a universal thing for all of our listeners, me included, sitting here is is pain

:: 13:33:23

Paige Straarup

struggle. Right.

:: 13:34:25

Pat McCalla

And I've said this, our listeners heard me say this before. I grew up in the church.

:: 13:39:03

Pat McCalla

I grew up with a biblical worldview, but there are some certain there's certain lies that you didn't realize you were

:: 13:44:25

Brad Straarup

told until

:: 13:46:12

Pat McCalla

a lot of times pain comes

:: 13:47:15

Paige Straarup

So one of the lies

:: 13:48:24

Pat McCalla

that I preached against all the time when I would speak, but until I went through some real struggles, I realized a deep, deep within my soul.

:: 13:56:06

Pat McCalla

I believe this lie that if you live a good life, you should get a good

:: 13:58:17

Paige Straarup

life

:: 13:59:04

Brad Straarup

Totally.

:: 13:59:22

Pat McCalla

You know, like, hey, if I really follow you, God and I do these things,

:: 14:02:19

Brad Straarup

I'm going to have all these.

:: 14:03:13

Brad Straarup

Things,

:: 14:04:03

Pat McCalla

good things happening. And then, you know, like you're saying else, it's like, wait, what?

:: 14:07:28

Brad Straarup

Yeah.

:: 14:08:24

Pat McCalla

we had a miscarriage and we think we're going to get pregnant right away.

:: 14:11:05

Pat McCalla

And now we go through these years of struggle. So I know every listener, every listener is going, been there.

:: 14:17:02

Brad Straarup

Yeah, yeah.

:: 14:18:15

Pat McCalla

So just talk through from your journey

:: 14:20:22

Brad Straarup

Yeah.

:: 14:21:16

Pat McCalla

theology.

:: 14:22:23

Pat McCalla

how do we walk through pain? Well, how do we deal with suffering.

:: 14:25:26

Speaker 1

Hey, we hope you've enjoyed this episode so far. Be sure to like and subscribe to not miss a future podcast! Okay, let's get back to the episode.

:: 14:33:18

Brad Straarup

Yeah, it's, it's it's so hard because it's this balance between, human choice and life. And then also God's sovereignty. And. And when does God come in and when does God not come in? And obviously, I know I think we've all lived into that space where we say, okay, if I live a good life, then I'm going to have a good life where, like you said, a biblical worldview is Jesus says, in this world you will have trouble.

:: 14:53:04

Brad Straarup

So a good life isn't promised. What actually is promised is trouble. And I would say that that season in South Africa, I, I wouldn't wish for it on anyone, but I wouldn't change it. And

:: 15:06:04

Brad Straarup

because God did so much in me, I would say before that season in South Africa, I had so much ambition.

:: 15:12:26

Brad Straarup

Even when it comes to planning a church, what you're doing now, I had so much ambition and I just wanted to do it and

:: 15:17:29

Brad Straarup

someone once said to me that pride is a dagger that is pointed at your own heart, and when the enemy is ready, he'll push you into it.

:: 15:26:00

Brad Straarup

And they said, I need you to blunt that dagger.

:: 15:29:04

Brad Straarup

And I had so much ambition, so much just. I'm going to do this thing. And then God took us in the season in South Africa, and he taught me so much about,

:: 15:37:13

Brad Straarup

honestly, what you were talking about, almost like this prosperity gospel kind of thing that we can have.

:: 15:42:03

Brad Straarup

And I remember being in South Africa and people were like, you just need to live by faith. So for the first couple of months, I lived out of a suitcase.

:: 15:49:03

Pat McCalla

Wow.

:: 15:49:23

Brad Straarup

that's faith.

:: 15:50:27

Brad Straarup

And then.

:: 15:51:18

Brad Straarup

You.

:: 15:52:03

Brad Straarup

Because, yeah, I.

:: 15:53:24

Brad Straarup

I keep my bags packed. Yeah.

:: 15:55:03

Brad Straarup

And then I had a moment where I was like, okay, God, God, you're not doing I'm going too fast. And I'm like, I'm going too fast. And then it was what? What prayer can I pray? Like what? What do I need it. And the entire time I was trying to figure out how I could twist the arm of God to act on my behalf.

:: 16:14:12

Brad Straarup

And I know that sounds I know that sounds like crazy, but that's what we all do, don't we? We have these. We have these moments where we're like, I'm going to fast. I'm going to pray, I'm going to do this, I'm going to do this. And when I do all these things, then you will move. And it's like, I just had to come to a place where I was like, God, I'm desperate.

:: 16:32:02

Brad Straarup

I don't know what you're doing, but I know you're doing something and and I'm going to trust you, even though it doesn't make sense. And I would say all of the ambition, the things that I said that I would never do, like we had some even opportunities that were presented to us. And I was like, I would never do.

:: 16:47:27

Brad Straarup

I would never do, I would never do that. And and literally at the end of that season, I remember I was I was face down on the ground and I said, God, I'll do whatever. And it was at that moment of surrender, okay. Which was the hundredth moment of surrender. So it's not even the challenge with what I'm about to say is you can think, oh, the key is surrender.

:: 17:09:02

Brad Straarup

If I surrender, God is going to do what I want. No,

:: 17:10:27

Brad Straarup

we had hundreds of moments of surrender. But after that moment of surrender, I said, God, I'll do whatever you want me to do. A week later, everything came through. So it was. It was just a crazy season. But God use that to to to strip away so much in me.

:: 17:24:10

Pat McCalla

just want to ask a clarifying question here because, well, first of all, again, I think all of our audience can resonate with what you're saying. You know, that that

:: 17:31:25

Pat McCalla

you start doing things and you don't

:: 17:33:13

Paige Straarup

realize.

:: 17:33:21

Brad Straarup

it totally. You

:: 17:35:04

Pat McCalla

go deeper into the pit of suffering

:: 17:37:10

Pat McCalla

that you're really trying to manipulate. God,

:: 17:38:27

Brad Straarup

Yep.

:: 17:39:26

Pat McCalla

you even said, this is my clarifying question.

:: 17:41:28

Pat McCalla

You were saying we had we had hundreds of moments of surrender. I think what you meant by that, where you were surrendering, but you were surrendering because you but you were still trying to

:: 17:50:00

Brad Straarup

Manipulate you.

:: 17:50:21

Brad Straarup

Like God. Yes.

:: 17:51:20

Pat McCalla

then you came to that moment where it was true,

:: 17:53:22

Paige Straarup

what you might called true surrender. You're like,

:: 17:55:26

Brad Straarup

yeah, I mean it

:: 17:56:21

Pat McCalla

like deep in my soul, whatever.

:: 17:59:01

Pat McCalla

Wherever.

:: 17:59:18

Brad Straarup

Yeah.

:: 18:00:02

Paige Straarup

that's

:: 18:00:08

Pat McCalla

what. That's where you

:: 18:01:02

Brad Straarup

got.

:: 18:01:06

Brad Straarup

Yes. Yes. And I think the, the, the challenge with that.

:: 18:04:26

Brad Straarup

Process for you to get totally

:: 18:06:09

Pat McCalla

that's what we needed.

:: 18:07:05

Pat McCalla

were human.

:: 18:08:03

Brad Straarup

Totally.

:: 18:08:20

Pat McCalla

it's okay that it was

:: 18:09:14

Brad Straarup

totally. And I think that the challenge with that is

:: 18:12:21

Brad Straarup

people may take from that story. Oh so once I get to complete surrender, God will move that. That's also not the case. Like it's not the case. And I think what's so funny is it kind of leans, even when we're talking about sovereignty and suffering and things like that.

:: 18:25:04

Brad Straarup

For me, I go straight to the book of Job, which is obviously part of wisdom literature, not history. It's wisdom literature.

:: 18:31:17

Brad Straarup

for those that don't know the story, Jobe has everything taken from him in the Bible, his family. He loses everything. And and the reason he loses everything is because he's faithful. Like Satan comes up to God and says, I want to take our job.

:: 18:46:25

Brad Straarup

He will curse you. And he says, job one curse me.

:: 18:49:20

Pat McCalla

I just got goosebumps when he said that because it's so keyed under

:: 18:52:18

Pat McCalla

The

:: 18:53:03

Brad Straarup

is.

:: 18:53:15

Brad Straarup

Because he was faithful.

:: 18:55:13

Pat McCalla

And that is so in the face of if I live

:: 18:57:13

Paige Straarup

the words.

:: 18:58:12

Paige Straarup

Oh for sure.

:: 18:59:10

Pat McCalla

job's suffered because he was faithful.

:: 19:00:28

Paige Straarup

Yeah.

:: 19:01:18

Brad Straarup

Yes.

:: 19:02:12

Brad Straarup

So no. And and then the craziest thing. So all these friends come to him and the friends actually help us with wisdom because they're the they're the idiotic friends that say a bunch of things that I feel like I often want to say. And it just wasn't true. They're like, well, surely you cursed God.

:: 19:18:18

Brad Straarup

Surely you did something wrong.

:: 19:20:11

Brad Straarup

Surely you forgot a sacrifice. Surely. And none of that is true because again, it happened. Because he was faithful. So at the end we ask this question

:: 19:28:18

Brad Straarup

and we were like, why did God do it? Why did God do that to Jobe? Like, we know we know what was happening behind the scenes. We know what Jobe doesn't know.

:: 19:35:27

Brad Straarup

It was because he was faithful. And God never answers. Why.

:: 19:39:04

Pat McCalla

That's what I find so fascinating.

:: 19:40:21

Brad Straarup

At the end, he he just says. He says, where were you? And I created the foundation of the world.

:: 19:46:11

Pat McCalla

He asked him, like 84

:: 19:47:18

Brad Straarup

Yes, yes. And you just have this moment where the end of job, the book of job, all you're left with is you are God and I am not.

:: 19:57:15

Brad Straarup

and I'm thankful for the book of job because it's part of the wisdom. It's part of the wisdom literature. Because the book of job again. Jobe never answers why it's in the Bible, but we know

:: 20:09:18

Brad Straarup

that it is a source of encouragement to.

:: 20:11:03

Brad Straarup

Us.

:: 20:11:24

Brad Straarup

Who is walking through the same thing, you know? So we get to be encouraged by it. And I and my opinion is God did that so that we can have that story, that we can be encouraged. Even for me, I don't know all the whys of South Africa.

:: 20:24:08

Pat McCalla

You still don't.

:: 20:24:29

Brad Straarup

I still.

:: 20:25:12

Brad Straarup

Don't.

:: 20:26:14

Brad Straarup

But all I know is what had happened to us and the lessons that God has taught us. God has used to help others.

:: 20:33:11

Brad Straarup

Yeah, yeah.

:: 20:34:16

Brad Straarup

So there's a part of me that I'm like, I think we had to walk through that because someone else is walking through something similar and they just have to hear, you're going to be okay.

:: 20:44:10

Brad Straarup

Yeah.

:: 20:44:18

Paige Straarup

:: 20:45:08

Pat McCalla

You know, I don't, and I'm just speaking from my life now. I can't speak for anybody else's, but I've heard enough stories and testimonies of people. I don't know that we can ever, as human beings, get to that point. The job did

:: 20:55:28

Pat McCalla

where he

:: 20:56:10

Paige Straarup

said,

:: 20:57:01

Pat McCalla

Or you got to

:: 20:57:26

Brad Straarup

Totally.

:: 20:58:20

Pat McCalla

got to the point where where you go, you're God.

:: 21:00:21

Pat McCalla

And I'm not. I don't know if we can get there without suffering.

:: 21:03:18

Brad Straarup

100%.

:: 21:04:26

Brad Straarup

100%.

:: 21:05:24

Brad Straarup

I wish that was 100%.

:: 21:08:11

Brad Straarup

100%. Yeah. No, absolutely, absolutely no way for you to get there without it. And if you think you did, it's a cheap form of that.

:: 21:15:18

Brad Straarup

Yes. Yeah.

:: 21:16:25

Brad Straarup

Because what are you truly surrendering? Because when you've gone through suffering, you're surrendering everything. You're surrendering your.

:: 21:22:15

Brad Straarup

Will.

:: 21:23:20

Brad Straarup

Your emotion. And you're like, God, I'm putting it all on the table. Whatever your dreams, your. Yeah, whatever. Whatever you want from me.

:: 21:32:16

Brad Straarup

The answer is yes. And I think I think the funny thing, I don't know why that's kind of the theme of our life, but in that season in South Africa, that's what it was when it came to fertility.

:: 21:40:27

Brad Straarup

It was the exact same thing. It was God, if this isn't if this isn't what you have for us, then we're okay with it. Even even when it comes to launching the church, like that was something that God had put on our heart when, when I was 18 and I'm 33 now. So we're 15 years past that moment and and I had to have those surrendering moments multiple times where I wanted to just jump the gun.

:: 22:01:27

Brad Straarup

I wanted to just do it like I used. Like I said, I had a lot of ambition that had to die in me.

:: 22:06:12

Brad Straarup

And I'm so thankful that God allowed it to die and and pushed me aside that I didn't get ahead of myself and do something stupid.

:: 22:13:19

Brad Straarup

But in all those moments, God has always got us in waiting seasons.

:: 22:18:11

Brad Straarup

And part of it, I think, is to get us to places of true surrender.

:: 22:21:07

Paige Straarup

Yeah. I also think, though, that waiting seasons we walked through, we thankfully, even early on in our journey of waiting in South Africa, waiting to come back to the US, we knew that we like we needed to turn it into a working season, even though we felt like so much was on hold that like

:: 22:38:10

Paige Straarup

those little moments of surrender, he talks about.

:: 22:40:16

Paige Straarup

I want

:: 22:40:24

Pat McCalla

to pause here again because I don't want our audience missed what you just said.

:: 22:43:25

Pat McCalla

were saying that you you guys identified the fact that you're waiting season. You would turn into a working.

:: 22:49:21

Paige Straarup

Yeah,

:: 22:50:03

Brad Straarup

we would say like, we

:: 22:50:26

Paige Straarup

have to work the wait. It was truly a phrase that we would

:: 22:54:00

Brad Straarup

We lived by.

:: 22:54:27

Paige Straarup

a mantra for us every

:: 22:56:11

Brad Straarup

day.

:: 22:56:23

Brad Straarup

Work the way, work the way, even.

:: 22:58:10

Brad Straarup

The way season

:: 22:58:20

Paige Straarup

where it very much felt like we were in a straitjacket, we couldn't do anything. We couldn't get a house, get a car, get it, do literally anything.

:: 23:06:11

Paige Straarup

We were staying with his parents. He couldn't get a job. I'm working for a company in America. Just trying. We're trying to figure it out. But it would. We would say we're going to work the way we're going to do, figure out what we can do. So even when we felt like there wasn't much, it's like we're going to do we're going to maximize this season and get no get for everything.

:: 23:24:00

Paige Straarup

It is. And those were the little moments of surrender that he spoke about along the way. It was just like, okay, we're going to work this way. And then on the back end of it, when we walk, as we walked through it, like he said, we haven't had so many things are unanswered. And I think that is life, right?

:: 23:39:06

Paige Straarup

There's so many things that we will never know on this side of

:: 23:42:08

Brad Straarup

eternity.

:: 23:42:21

Brad Straarup

Right.

:: 23:43:02

Brad Straarup

But

:: 23:43:17

Paige Straarup

but we're grateful for the little threads along the way where I think in so many of us, you'll see a little bit of like, oh, I can kind of see that I had this had to

:: 23:53:22

Brad Straarup

happen.

:: 23:54:02

Brad Straarup

Had happened.

:: 23:54:24

Brad Straarup

Here

:: 23:55:17

Paige Straarup

as page, the page that that sits before you.

:: 23:59:10

Paige Straarup

If this all this crap hadn't happened. Like

:: 24:02:13

Paige Straarup

you can't have this without that. And so

:: 24:05:05

Paige Straarup

it's just what he spoke about, like finding purpose in our pain. And for us, that's been through sharing and through being vulnerable about what we've walked through. And, and just in hopes that, hey, we made it out on the other side with a little bit of hope and still a little banged up and bruised up for sure, but like but God's healed that.

:: 24:25:25

Paige Straarup

And and that's what brings the purpose is like even if it's to help one person

:: 24:29:23

Brad Straarup

Yeah. Know that they're

:: 24:30:20

Paige Straarup

not alone. It takes the sting out of the pain. But you'll never really fully know or understand.

:: 24:36:11

Brad Straarup

And I think, I think that actually can give purpose to anyone in a waiting season is if you're going to be in a waiting season, you might as well be working in that season, you might as well be doing something. So a lot of that for us came out of it actually came out of first Samuel where David, you know the story.

:: 24:50:28

Brad Straarup

A lot of people know David and Goliath. David, at a really, really, really young age gets called out of the shepherd's field to be anointed to be king. And it's like, so you read this in like verse 15 or 16, you read he's anointed to be king time before.

:: 25:05:17

Brad Straarup

Yes. You think, oh, the next.

:: 25:07:13

Brad Straarup

Verse, he's going to become king. Yeah. And and it's not. He gets sent back into the shepherd's field, which means sometimes God can call you out of a situation, anoint you for a future situation, and put you back in the situation. He just pulled you out of. But what's crazy is many.

:: 25:23:14

Brad Straarup

Many, many, many, many, many.

:: 25:25:12

Brad Straarup

Many years later, when he ultimately goes to defeat Goliath, which obviously was the incident that caused him to become king. So that was the incident that once that happened, the promise that was promised all these years ago, now you're able to step into it. The crazy thing about it is, if you read that story, Goliath comes up to the battlefield and David runs to meet him.

:: 25:49:13

Brad Straarup

There's this confidence in David, which I'm like, either he was just.

:: 25:53:11

Brad Straarup

Like, yeah.

:: 25:54:05

Brad Straarup

Silly. Like he had no idea what was going on or he had faith. So obviously he goes and he slings the stone. And, this wasn't a this wasn't just some random faith. This was a practiced faith. And you said, okay, where did that happen? Well, in the Bible, it talks about that the people had the ability to sling stones with their left hand and not miss.

:: 26:14:03

Brad Straarup

They could hit a here and not miss. So the question for us in that season was, where did David learn to sling the stone.

:: 26:20:28

Pat McCalla

In the shepherds

:: 26:21:13

Brad Straarup

field.

:: 26:21:28

Brad Straarup

In the shepherds? So? So the season.

:: 26:25:28

Brad Straarup

Where you're waiting.

:: 26:27:14

Brad Straarup

Wishing it away.

:: 26:28:15

Brad Straarup

Wishing it.

:: 26:29:06

Brad Straarup

Away

:: 26:30:15

Brad Straarup

could actually be the preparation season for the moment that God has in your future. That if you steward this season well, it is actually the thing that will get you where he's promised you from the beginning. So. Okay, wait, so God said that at some point we'd plant a church. So if I'm in South Africa, wow. Maybe I should be writing messages.

:: 26:55:00

Brad Straarup

Maybe I should be preparing now for what he has.

:: 26:58:26

Brad Straarup

Then you got two years of messages.

:: 27:01:19

Brad Straarup

Yeah, I do

:: 27:02:11

Paige Straarup

Know he paid

:: 27:03:09

Pat McCalla

Brad and Paige I love what you, what you're saying there and what you're pointing out the verse you know be still and know that I am God.

:: 27:09:13

Paige Straarup

I've seen that

:: 27:10:03

Pat McCalla

abused so many times. Because really, in the original Hebrew, the idea of it is let go and let God.

:: 27:15:15

Pat McCalla

It's not to say don't do

:: 27:16:22

Brad Straarup

anything.

:: 27:17:12

Brad Straarup

No, no, I'm just speaking. Still not doing. No. You're being idle. Yeah.

:: 27:22:22

Brad Straarup

You know,

:: 27:24:00

Pat McCalla

It's saying, let go of the control.

:: 27:25:20

Brad Straarup

Yes.

:: 27:27:02

Pat McCalla

to where you were when you truly surrendered.

:: 27:29:20

Brad Straarup

Yes, I'm

:: 27:30:14

Pat McCalla

letting go and I'm completely surrendered.

:: 27:32:23

Pat McCalla

That's what that verse

:: 27:33:17

Paige Straarup

is

:: 27:33:26

Brad Straarup

100% do.

:: 27:34:26

Brad Straarup

Anything.

:: 27:35:09

Pat McCalla

It reminds me of a time years ago, I had posts on my social media that I think it's Seneca, that that Greek philosopher that wrote that, that something about like, if you don't know which port you're sailing,

:: 27:46:10

Brad Straarup

Any wind is the right wind. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

:: 27:48:29

Pat McCalla

I posted that when my daughter was in the Marine Corps and she was stationed in Okinawa at the time, and she was in a very difficult time. So she sends me a direct message and just is like, and but, dad, what are the winds not blowing?

:: 27:59:29

Brad Straarup

Wow. She

:: 28:00:29

Paige Straarup

was in her life.

:: 28:01:17

Brad Straarup

Wow. Such a cloud.

:: 28:03:23

Paige Straarup

Well, I well.

:: 28:04:09

Paige Straarup

It's not one like, what

:: 28:05:04

Pat McCalla

if I'm just sitting out there and it just feels like waiting

:: 28:08:15

Brad Straarup

Yes.

:: 28:09:20

Brad Straarup

Yes.

:: 28:10:05

Pat McCalla

And I prayed because I didn't want to answer without like, some wisdom. So I prayed a little bit, and I and I and I finally responded to her and I just said, then start swabbing the deck and

:: 28:20:14

Brad Straarup

repairing.

:: 28:20:22

Brad Straarup

Brilliant, brilliant.

:: 28:22:04

Pat McCalla

exactly what

:: 28:22:19

Paige Straarup

you guys are talking.

:: 28:23:06

Brad Straarup

brilliant. Brilliant.

:: 28:24:16

Pat McCalla

do something

:: 28:25:22

Paige Straarup

in that waiting period.

:: 28:27:01

Pat McCalla

not to.

:: 28:28:12

Pat McCalla

and I think this is important to say because you guys brought it up not to

:: 28:31:16

Brad Straarup

manipulate. Nope, nope.

:: 28:33:16

Pat McCalla

just to go like, I'm trusting you in

:: 28:35:09

Paige Straarup

this

:: 28:35:26

Pat McCalla

time and I'm going to do

:: 28:36:26

Brad Straarup

something.

:: 28:37:04

Brad Straarup

Yes, yes.

:: 28:38:09

Pat McCalla

like you're saying to David story, because David did believe he was going to be king someday.

:: 28:41:22

Brad Straarup

Yes.

:: 28:42:15

Pat McCalla

it was a lot longer than he thought.

:: 28:43:25

Brad Straarup

Yeah, but

:: 28:44:17

Pat McCalla

he was still working

:: 28:45:25

Brad Straarup

Yeah, he would be.

:: 28:47:08

Brad Straarup

And when that moment comes, you want to have done the work in the waiting season that when that moment comes, you're ready.

:: 28:53:20

Brad Straarup

Yeah. You know what I mean?

:: 28:55:01

Brad Straarup

Like

:: 28:55:15

Brad Straarup

even the desire to have kids, it's like we were like, okay, well what could it look like to prepare our finances for that moment? Like, what could it look like for us to prepare our lives for that moment? There's things that we can do. And the beauty of that, it might be a coping mechanism, but there's a the beauty of that is you are giving purpose to that season and you're being faithful with that season and you're stewarding that season.

:: 29:16:06

Brad Straarup

So we've always loved work, the wait work the way we're going to work the way.

:: 29:19:10

Pat McCalla

So let me ask you this. So Brad and Paige because now you know this. And I know when you're deep in the middle of pain because I've been there before and you hear stories like this and you're like, oh, it's easy for you to

:: 29:28:11

Paige Straarup

say, no.

:: 29:28:21

Brad Straarup

You're out of it.

:: 29:29:21

Paige Straarup

Yeah.

:: 29:30:12

Paige Straarup

Of it.

:: 29:31:07

Pat McCalla

but you were in the

:: 29:32:14

Paige Straarup

middle. Yes,

:: 29:33:06

Pat McCalla

been in the middle. What would you say to some of our listeners that are maybe right now in the middle, maybe it's infertility,

:: 29:38:24

Paige Straarup

Yeah.

:: 29:39:11

Paige Straarup

They just lost a loved one. Maybe. Yeah. I don't

:: 29:41:13

Pat McCalla

understand the why. And so they don't get to see the story on

:: 29:45:03

Paige Straarup

how God

:: 29:45:29

Pat McCalla

kind of redeemed that or is using it.

:: 29:48:17

Pat McCalla

They're just in the messy the muck

:: 29:50:08

Paige Straarup

and mire in the process.

:: 29:51:09

Pat McCalla

What would you say to them right now? Just as an encouragement to them,

:: 29:54:25

Paige Straarup

I, I would say, well, first of all, I can relate because me telling someone you're going to get through this or whatever, I had so many people in my life in those times telling me those things, and it just felt like, womp womp, womp womp womp, like. So the first thing is, I get it. I get if you're not in a place to believe anyone who is trying to build your faith or or call you higher like so, there's just me too.

:: 30:20:04

Paige Straarup

Like I've been there. But also,

:: 30:22:06

Paige Straarup

I would just say follow that. Find the small things, find the small things that you can do. But also like journaling through it and like build, almost like building, an altar around that season of like, because I'm, I'm going to build the Bible speaks about building altars so I could look back on God's faithfulness and, not to want to go back to those dark seasons, but so that one day when you are out of it, you can go back and say, like, My God has done this before, and he'll do it again.

:: 30:49:14

Paige Straarup

And I think, for me, I had to my only hope in some of those seasons was finding small areas because, again, for me it was about

:: 30:58:09

Paige Straarup

performance. And like, God, haven't I been through enough? Didn't have I not been good to you? Do I not read my Bible enough? Like

:: 31:04:11

Paige Straarup

was just like, what can I do

:: 31:06:06

Brad Straarup

The manipulation.

:: 31:07:03

Paige Straarup

But for me it was performance driven. It was just like, God, you know, I've been through so much. My story is already crazy. I don't need more to my story. But but looking back and saying, God, you were faithful in

:: 31:19:12

Brad Straarup

this. Yeah, even

:: 31:20:20

Paige Straarup

smaller seasons than the one I'm smaller issues than the things. Smaller weightings, shorter weightings. But I think everyone can dig deep and find something that they could say, okay, I did.

:: 31:32:06

Paige Straarup

I didn't think I'd come out of that, but I did. And you, even if that's part of your morning routine or you're you having to, show yourself that like God has shown up for

:: 31:42:23

Brad Straarup

me and. Yeah, it's not

:: 31:43:22

Paige Straarup

God for you right now, it's just like I have dug myself out of the hole before, and I can do.

:: 31:48:25

Paige Straarup

I'm capable of doing it again. And but still marking those moments. I always used to say, like, God, let this leave a scar. Like, because I don't want to be the same.

:: 31:59:18

Brad Straarup

Not a wound, not a wound. I don't want a scar.

:: 32:02:01

Brad Straarup

I don't want it to be

:: 32:02:27

Paige Straarup

an open wound. I don't want it to scab like,

:: 32:04:22

Paige Straarup

let this scar over. But let it leave

:: 32:06:11

Brad Straarup

a mark. Like I.

:: 32:07:14

Brad Straarup

Want to remember.

:: 32:08:25

Paige Straarup

the, the desperate places because I, even with friends and people in our lives now, we're grateful that that we are able to be there with people.

:: 32:17:13

Paige Straarup

Pray for people, pastor people. Even now through some of the especially infertility,

:: 32:21:23

Brad Straarup

Yeah, rampant

:: 32:23:10

Paige Straarup

in our world, walk them through and and hold their hands through it and just be there and sit and just listen and maybe just be a reminder that God

:: 32:32:13

Brad Straarup

can.

:: 32:32:28

Brad Straarup

Yeah, I

:: 32:33:25

Paige Straarup

know he doesn't always, but he can.

:: 32:35:29

Paige Straarup

and for us, it has has brought purpose to it.

:: 32:39:05

Paige Straarup

But I often, I often just try to encourage people to, to just walk faithfully one day at a time. Like, it's not about, people always say it's about the journey, not the destination. And, and I can find myself, looking at friends or even walking through now, and I just say, man, like, doesn't the Lord feel so close, though?

:: 32:59:12

Paige Straarup

Like,

:: 32:59:20

Paige Straarup

don't you feel his presence in those low moments in a way that you've never felt them before? Because I can even miss that.

:: 33:05:20

Brad Straarup

Yeah. I

:: 33:06:15

Paige Straarup

find myself on the other side in a season where God's been so faithful and we're grateful we're not in this intense waiting season right now. There's little things we're waiting for.

:: 33:16:04

Paige Straarup

We're all we always all are. But I can find myself. It sounds so crazy, but I can miss the intensity of the desperation I had on God

:: 33:25:05

Brad Straarup

totally.

:: 33:25:29

Paige Straarup

I had on him.

:: 33:27:19

Pat McCalla

don't want to go back to

:: 33:28:18

Brad Straarup

no.

:: 33:29:03

Brad Straarup

No.

:: 33:29:25

Paige Straarup

But

:: 33:30:09

Pat McCalla

same time I'm like, but I want that intimacy

:: 33:32:15

Paige Straarup

the intimacy.

:: 33:33:25

Paige Straarup

Yes.

:: 33:34:14

Brad Straarup

And I think to.

:: 33:35:01

Brad Straarup

Give you a moment

:: 33:35:20

Pat McCalla

to answer in a second, but

:: 33:36:17

Paige Straarup

let me just ask you really quickly

:: 33:38:06

Pat McCalla

what was a monument that you built?

:: 33:39:29

Pat McCalla

I like how you said that there were these monuments

:: 33:41:28

Paige Straarup

that we

:: 33:43:00

Pat McCalla

see, that they were always reminders of what God did. And you were saying in those waiting times, those difficult times, be building one of those what's a what's a monument? And I know that's that's

:: 33:52:20

Paige Straarup

Yeah analogy.

:: 33:54:03

Paige Straarup

Yeah. Yeah. For me

:: 33:55:19

Paige Straarup

I journaled and documented and even I tried to force myself to in that season share even for me in this in that season like online on on social media, like document parts of my journey. Because I found like connecting with people brought me so much purpose for us. It was so unique.

:: 34:12:09

Paige Straarup

And at the time, a lot of people were just like, this is so crazy. You got to especially with our deportation, like you got deported.

:: 34:18:17

Paige Straarup

but I journaled a lot privately and some publicly of just like what God was teaching me and finding forcing myself to find joy in those little moments. And, and and just so that I could look back like

:: 34:33:00

Paige Straarup

that was the monument to see, like I found joy in this.

:: 34:36:02

Paige Straarup

And so when I'm having a bad day now, I can be like, oh, you think this is a bad day? Remember this.

:: 34:40:13

Brad Straarup

And still and even,

:: 34:41:24

Paige Straarup

like, be like, okay, I was able to find something good. Then, so there's a whole lot more good going on in my life. And I'm, I often say like to myself, don't let your answered prayer become your prayer request.

:: 34:55:09

Paige Straarup

So now I have two kids and one of them is five months old, and others two. And they are multiple multiple years of praying for them. And I'm walking in this answered prayer. But even as a mom, like I, I've, I forced it to shape my motherhood and to I promise God, like if you give me it was part of my bargaining season with God.

:: 35:16:05

Paige Straarup

But I was like, if you give me if you allow me to have children, I promise I'll never complain. I'll never like. And so but I catch myself all the time just being like, oh, I've got it. Like, oh, these kids are wearing me out, you know? But but I really, I really feel like it has. I mean, I don't do it perfectly, but, even with other mom friends that I have that haven't walked through what I've walked through, I'll catch just little things they say little things where I'm like, wow.

:: 35:43:05

Paige Straarup

Like, you know. And for anyone walking through that right now, it's like, you know, that feeling of someone being, like, really incredibly tone deaf. They don't mean it. They don't. They've just not walked through what you've walked through. So now it's just like, gosh, these kids, what was I thinking? Or there were an accident or something. It's just like those little things that would never leave my mouth now because like, I'm walking in an answered prayer, the temptation is still real.

:: 36:05:27

Paige Straarup

And I have those little, of course, young kids, they do things that frustrate me and I get to the end of myself, even still. But I have like, I make it a promise, a promise to God and to myself every day. Like, don't let this answered prayer become your prayer request

:: 36:21:27

Brad Straarup

and be so good

:: 36:22:20

Paige Straarup

that you're begging God to change because you're I'm living out the days that I want to dreamed.

:: 36:28:14

Paige Straarup

So those are some of the things that I think.

:: 36:30:12

Paige Straarup

The.

:: 36:30:14

Paige Straarup

Days I love.

:: 36:31:15

Paige Straarup

That I, that I can. It's easy to forget when you're walking through it,

:: 36:35:01

Paige Straarup

I think everyone has something they can find that is that answered prayer or that that thing they overcame. If it's not a prayer? So it's kind of anchoring yourself in your so bring your mind to remember.

:: 36:48:21

Pat McCalla

But you said something that I just it made me think how often God must kind of smile at us. He's so good and patient with

:: 36:55:00

Brad Straarup

No, totally.

:: 36:55:25

Pat McCalla

know, your prayer. And we've all prayed a prayer like that. Like, if you give me

:: 36:58:18

Paige Straarup

these, they never complain.

:: 37:00:08

Paige Straarup

It's bargaining.

:: 37:00:29

Paige Straarup

Yeah,

:: 37:01:03

Pat McCalla

I know because you're

:: 37:01:26

Brad Straarup

you're a human that you've complained. Oh.

:: 37:04:07

Brad Straarup

So you're like.

:: 37:06:12

Brad Straarup

God just kind of smiled.

:: 37:07:15

Brad Straarup

And he's like, you have no idea what.

:: 37:09:16

Brad Straarup

Possible toddlers now. They say something now and.

:: 37:13:02

Brad Straarup

They say, honey, you know, that kind.

:: 37:14:17

Brad Straarup

Of thing? No. Straight up.

:: 37:15:16

Brad Straarup

What would you

:: 37:15:27

Pat McCalla

say again, for some of our listeners that aren't on the other side of pain,

:: 37:19:08

Brad Straarup

Yeah, in the middle of

:: 37:20:11

Pat McCalla

it.

:: 37:20:13

Pat McCalla

What would you say to them?

:: 37:21:20

Brad Straarup

it's so hard. But what I want to say is, especially as a Christian, hope is coming.

:: 37:29:04

Brad Straarup

I mean that in, in, in many ways, I think sometimes you can have someone, for example, Paige. Paige, lost her mom. And I think even in that season when her mom is fighting cancer, people can say, hope is coming, hope is coming, hope is coming.

:: 37:43:14

Brad Straarup

And people would want to promise that they're going to be fine and someone's going to be healed. And the truth is that that isn't always the end of the story. Hope is coming. You're not going to go bankrupt. You might, you might. And I think that's why it now. And it's hard. My worldview is a Christian. So if if you're not a Christian, then it's very hard for me to say hope is coming because I, I don't know what the end of that season will look like.

:: 38:11:01

Brad Straarup

And here's here's what I've realized.

:: 38:13:14

Brad Straarup

We are living on the other side of a garden. Garden of Eden was perfect. And then we sinned. And then we messed it up. And we are looking for perfection on this side of eternity, and we're just not going to find it. We're on the wrong side of eternity. But when we pause, we are on the other side of eternity.

:: 38:34:15

Brad Straarup

And if we know God. So either hope that the reason I say hope is coming as a Christian is hope is either going to come in this season, they may be healed, you may not go bankrupt. But if those things do happen, the statement is still true. As a Christian, hope is still coming. It might just be on the other side of eternity, if that makes sense.

:: 38:53:20

Brad Straarup

So I feel like so that's where like I'm like as a Christian, hope is coming.

:: 38:57:28

Brad Straarup

Home.

:: 38:58:19

Brad Straarup

And if if someone doesn't know God, I would say you need to find hope. Yeah. And you find hope in God.

:: 39:06:01

Paige Straarup

You triggered something. I thought for me, like we always say, like, God is such a good father. And doesn't a good father want to give his children great gifts? And for us, something that was hard to come to terms with this timing, right? For when you're in the waiting season, it's just like even on things that make may come and you may know that they're coming, or eventually it's like we kind of thought like, okay, we know we're going to get with deportation.

:: 39:28:03

Paige Straarup

We know we'll get there eventually. But when God like, why not now? Why are you causing this to wait? It wasn't supposed it literally wasn't supposed to take that long. So, God, it feels like you're holding this up. But God is a good father, and he wants to give his children good gifts. And sometimes the timing doesn't make sense to us.

:: 39:45:11

Paige Straarup

But I think about my son. And

:: 39:47:17

Brad Straarup

like last night.

:: 39:49:01

Paige Straarup

last night we're making dinner, and he's our son. Saint just turned two in May, and he,

:: 39:54:11

Brad Straarup

he just demands.

:: 39:56:11

Brad Straarup

It's so funny.

:: 39:57:03

Brad Straarup

Everything and everything is now, like,

:: 39:59:03

Paige Straarup

right now. Like there's no patience. We use the word patience in our house frequently, and we're always patience. Patience and doesn't understand that. So it's like we're making him dinner.

:: 40:08:07

Paige Straarup

And his dinner is. It's hot, fresh out of the microwave. It was a microwave meal night. And and he's sitting there like, more. Please. Now. Now, please. Where's my food? And it's like we're sitting there and the food is piping hot.

:: 40:19:13

Brad Straarup

patience, patience, patience. Huge

:: 40:21:13

Paige Straarup

desire. He's hungry, he wants to eat, and he can see the food sitting on the table.

:: 40:26:02

Paige Straarup

And as much as he, his mind cannot understand why he can't have this food, that he's hungry for, that he can see it. It's right in front of him. But mom, dad, why can't I have it now? And but as parents

:: 40:39:24

Brad Straarup

like.

:: 40:40:18

Brad Straarup

We know we're protecting him.

:: 40:41:25

Brad Straarup

We know that

:: 40:42:22

Paige Straarup

a gift given too soon, is no longer a gift.

:: 40:45:01

Paige Straarup

This

:: 40:45:22

Brad Straarup

food, it's a curse to

:: 40:47:07

Paige Straarup

be like. It will burn him. It will hurt him. It won't help him if I give it to him now. He can't understand that with his two year old brain. But I can, and I'm a. I try to be a good mom, so I'm going to wait to give him his food until it's ready.

:: 41:01:20

Paige Straarup

And so that's where I think it's it's an eternal mindset mindset and perspective. And, and we always say, I may not understand until heaven one day because God understands beyond what we ever will like. We don't get to age out of that two year old phase here. But it's like

:: 41:18:12

Paige Straarup

God knows we don't.

:: 41:19:13

Pat McCalla

it well. And that's such a beautiful illustration or an analogy because we we are we think we grow up.

:: 41:25:17

Paige Straarup

fast. So that will.

:: 41:26:18

Brad Straarup

totally.

:: 41:27:03

Brad Straarup

No, 100%.

:: 41:27:29

Brad Straarup

And

:: 41:28:02

Pat McCalla

that two year old kid, sometimes they're mad at you.

:: 41:30:10

Brad Straarup

Yeah, yeah.

:: 41:31:12

Brad Straarup

Why? Why wouldn't you give it to me?

:: 41:33:08

Paige Straarup

I could have food, right?

:: 41:34:08

Paige Straarup

Oh, I've thrown many fish.

:: 41:35:22

Paige Straarup

Yes.

:: 41:36:04

Pat McCalla

I think

:: 41:36:14

Pat McCalla

least believed and lived out verse in the Bible, maybe is the Isaiah one where God says, my ways are higher than your ways. My thoughts higher than your thoughts. How much higher? Higher than the heavens are from the

:: 41:47:20

Paige Straarup

Europe

:: 41:48:14

Pat McCalla

and the heavens are from the earth. We're still discovering

:: 41:50:26

Brad Straarup

Yes, yes.

:: 41:52:20

Pat McCalla

And when I say it's the least believed and lived out is like your point. To your point, I think I know what I need.

:: 41:58:28

Brad Straarup

straight up.

:: 41:59:26

Pat McCalla

I think I know

:: 42:00:29

Paige Straarup

what,

:: 42:01:24

Pat McCalla

what needs to

:: 42:02:17

Brad Straarup

happen in this moment.

:: 42:03:23

Pat McCalla

But again, true surrender is coming to the point

:: 42:05:24

Brad Straarup

Totally.

:: 42:06:12

Pat McCalla

you go your God. And I'm not

:: 42:07:15

Paige Straarup

Yeah.

:: 42:08:23

Pat McCalla

and that's the that's what you're dealing with.

:: 42:10:10

Pat McCalla

You this year two year

:: 42:11:04

Paige Straarup

old. You're trying

:: 42:11:27

Pat McCalla

to help your two year old understand that. But we're all still trying to learn it as

:: 42:15:16

Brad Straarup

old.

:: 42:15:27

Brad Straarup

No.

:: 42:16:24

Brad Straarup

No, straight up. Let's try it.

:: 42:18:02

Brad Straarup

Out.

:: 42:18:09

Pat McCalla

yeah. And you also mentioned something else I don't want to forget. It comes up. It's kind of a regular theme on this podcast, I think. I believe the goodness of God is the skeletal system that all our theology

:: 42:28:05

Paige Straarup

and

:: 42:29:03

Brad Straarup

100% if.

:: 42:29:29

Pat McCalla

God isn't good and you mentioned at page you talked about the goodness of God, but if God isn't good,

:: 42:35:07

Brad Straarup

all falls apart.

:: 42:36:12

Pat McCalla

his justice and his love,

:: 42:38:04

Paige Straarup

everything.

:: 42:38:14

Paige Straarup

It all crumbles.

:: 42:39:13

Brad Straarup

Yeah.

:: 42:40:06

Pat McCalla

And so,

:: 42:40:22

Pat McCalla

that again, I for for listeners, if you're wrestling with the goodness of God, I would just go to him on your knees

:: 42:46:05

Brad Straarup

Yes. Beg him.

:: 42:48:00

Brad Straarup

Yes.

:: 42:48:18

Pat McCalla

show you his goodness. Because once you understand in the depths of your soul and really believe that God is good, doesn't mean that you may doubted it. You're human.

:: 42:57:06

Pat McCalla

But when you understand in the depths of your soul,

:: 43:00:12

Paige Straarup

really changes how we walk.

:: 43:01:26

Paige Straarup

Yeah.

:: 43:02:12

Brad Straarup

It makes me even think of something. There's a verse that people likes to talk about where they say, that God works all things together for the good of those who love him, who are called according to his purpose. And the way that we read that is, God works all things together for my good. Yeah.

:: 43:15:24

Brad Straarup

And it's it's just not what it says.

:: 43:18:06

Brad Straarup

Like, I like I think even I think of Jesus.

:: 43:20:20

Brad Straarup

No. Yeah.

:: 43:22:03

Brad Straarup

Like,

:: 43:22:11

Brad Straarup

I think of Jesus on the cross, and he's like, God, what's all the thing? All things together for my good.

:: 43:26:22

Brad Straarup

Yeah. No, it's not for me.

:: 43:27:25

Pat McCalla

nails in his wrists

:: 43:28:18

Brad Straarup

Yeah. It wasn't for his good. It was for our good.

:: 43:31:17

Brad Straarup

so sometimes I look at things that I'm walking through and I'm. And this might not be what I define good for me, but I'm like, oh no, no, no, God is God is allowing me to walk through something because he trusts me.

:: 43:42:25

Brad Straarup

Jobe, sometimes God's allowing you to walk through something because you're faithful and he, he knows he can trust you with that pain because he's wanting to use that pain for someone else's good.

:: 43:54:21

Brad Straarup

Works all things together for someone else's.

:: 43:57:04

Paige Straarup

see. That's the part we think we, we're going to see the purpose in our pain. We're going to see like the Bible speaks, God's never dead or like. And he'll repay us for the years the locus of Eden. And I always say he's never a debtor. But that doesn't mean he I will see it in this life.

:: 44:13:08

Paige Straarup

It will. It is happening. And I have to trust him that it's happening. But I may never see the

:: 44:17:24

Brad Straarup

end and

:: 44:18:12

Paige Straarup

The end of this

:: 44:19:02

Brad Straarup

can

:: 44:19:19

Brad Straarup

can you imagine that paradigm shift? Like I'm walking through pain because I did something wrong, okay? Or

:: 44:25:24

Brad Straarup

I'm walking through pain because I'm trusted?

:: 44:29:19

Brad Straarup

Huge paradigm shift.

:: 44:30:27

Brad Straarup

Like, oh wait.

:: 44:31:24

Brad Straarup

I'm walking through pain because he knew I'd be faithful with.

:: 44:35:13

Brad Straarup

It.

:: 44:36:01

Paige Straarup

but so many times we're not ready for that.

:: 44:37:26

Brad Straarup

to know. Tony.

:: 44:39:12

Brad Straarup

There's pain that you just cause.

:: 44:41:12

Brad Straarup

Pain I caused. Yeah. This was my fault. Yeah, totally. Totally. No.

:: 44:45:23

Brad Straarup

Hundred percent because I guess. But but like you're saying, it's a

:: 44:48:15

Pat McCalla

paradigm shift to go that

:: 44:49:21

Pat McCalla

again the fallacy.

:: 44:50:14

Pat McCalla

If I live a good life, I should get a good life. It's

:: 44:52:04

Paige Straarup

not

:: 44:52:15

Brad Straarup

true. Yeah. No, no,

:: 44:54:12

Pat McCalla

it could be. What a what a shift in thinking to go like. Like Jobe.

:: 44:58:20

Paige Straarup

Yeah

:: 44:59:02

Pat McCalla

don't understand otherwise. I don't know what you're going to do with this. But I'm going

:: 45:02:01

Brad Straarup

through this. Because you trust me with this. Yeah.

:: 45:06:17

Brad Straarup

Have to

:: 45:07:11

Paige Straarup

keep us there because so many times, like, I in my life, I'm like, I have. I don't want it. Oh, God. Like, I'd rather have the thing that, like, quick, will you trust me? But, like, why? Like, you know, like

:: 45:19:09

Brad Straarup

Please stop trusting.

:: 45:20:05

Brad Straarup

Me. Yeah, yeah.

:: 45:21:21

Brad Straarup

Easy to say, but

:: 45:22:25

Paige Straarup

hard to live.

:: 45:23:21

Paige Straarup

And

:: 45:24:02

Brad Straarup

so. Yeah, for people

:: 45:24:29

Paige Straarup

listening or in that place, it's like it's something to hold on to. But it's also I get it if it's like, okay, like, yes, I want to please God. But it's like and that's part of the sanctification process is like, even if that's all it is, that's good enough because so often I want to grip to like the answer to prayer and be like, okay, yeah, God, you trust me, but you're still going to do this, right?

:: 45:45:24

Paige Straarup

Like you're still going to get me there, right? And that's the faith. That is our faith that is it's ever a daily surrender and not knowing the outcome, believing for something. I always pray like God, I know you can and I pray you will.

:: 45:58:16

Brad Straarup

Yeah, but

:: 45:59:17

Paige Straarup

but I it's your will. Not my will be done so. And that's the hardest reality to live.

:: 46:05:00

Paige Straarup

It's so easy and cute to say, but it's really hard to live

:: 46:07:29

Pat McCalla

Well, I throw one more piece out than I want to pivot our conversation a little bit to something else that you guys talked about before we turned the mics on. But I think one of the other things or the weather tragedy, sometimes with our our theology deep within our soul, we wouldn't say it necessarily, but we we think I mean, I was when I was doing speaking, public speaking, I just tended to type my style was kind of a motivational type

:: 46:30:09

Brad Straarup

Yeah. So,

:: 46:31:02

Pat McCalla

you know, it was a lot of like reach your destiny,

:: 46:33:07

Brad Straarup

you know?

:: 46:35:26

Brad Straarup

Straight up. Yeah.

:: 46:37:08

Pat McCalla

I believe, but I, I, I've come to learn that secondary

:: 46:40:08

Brad Straarup

Yes.

:: 46:40:29

Pat McCalla

primary goal for me. And he says this is to make me more like

:: 46:43:08

Brad Straarup

Jesus.

:: 46:43:22

Brad Straarup

Yes.

:: 46:44:20

Pat McCalla

to to have intimacy with

:: 46:46:02

Brad Straarup

me. Yes. So

:: 46:47:04

Pat McCalla

I actually may go through something in life that doesn't,

:: 46:51:11

Pat McCalla

cause me to be everything I could have been with the talents and gifts that

:: 46:56:11

Paige Straarup

God gave him,

:: 46:57:13

Pat McCalla

it leads me to a more intimate

:: 46:59:03

Paige Straarup

relationship

:: 46:59:23

Pat McCalla

with him. And to be more like Jesus, then he's going to do that

:: 47:01:25

Brad Straarup

of my life.

:: 47:02:13

Brad Straarup

Oh my gosh, oh my gosh.

:: 47:04:13

Brad Straarup

Like pivot there where I totally and

:: 47:07:02

Pat McCalla

it was kind of, a subtle lie.

:: 47:09:06

Pat McCalla

I believe, like God's going to make me all I was made to be.

:: 47:12:00

Brad Straarup

and I think some of that is even it is a misunderstanding of what we're here for. It's a misunderstanding of our purpose. It's our misunderstanding of why we exist like so often people will say like, why am I here? And we'll say things like, oh, you need to, you need to live in your destiny, and that be or you can be.

:: 47:25:19

Brad Straarup

And those things are true. But

:: 47:27:11

Brad Straarup

were mentioning desire earlier. Or Isaiah earlier. And there's a verse in Isaiah that it says, where God actually gives us the meaning of our existence and the meaning of life, like everyone who's searching and they're like, why do I exist? The Bible actually answers it. And God says this bring everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my glory.

:: 47:48:13

Brad Straarup

Why do we exist? You exist for God's glory. But there's two competing worldviews. Because what what what everyone else will say in the world is it's not God's glory. It's my glory. It's not his will. It's my will. It's not his way. It's my way. So we're living into this paradigm, and then we're wondering why.

:: 48:04:28

Brad Straarup

why we're confused.

:: 48:05:24

Brad Straarup

But if we understand that the whole reason we're here is for his glory. So I'm walking through pain and it doesn't make sense. His body's higher than I thought, but I'm walking through pain that he can be glorified in it. Because when I'm walking through the hardest of moments, when I'm walking through suffering, when I'm walking through and I can say God is still good, he is most glorified in that moment than any other moment.

:: 48:28:01

Brad Straarup

So when I understand that's my purpose, then could it be that I'm actually fulfilling my purpose most in suffering?

:: 48:34:05

Brad Straarup

Because I'm able to glorify him in a great way in my suffering.

:: 48:37:03

Brad Straarup

That's the painful.

:: 48:38:08

Brad Straarup

Isn't it.

:: 48:38:29

Brad Straarup

Painful answer to.

:: 48:39:26

Brad Straarup

That, isn't.

:: 48:40:12

Brad Straarup

It. Glorious answer. Yes it is. You're

:: 48:42:26

Pat McCalla

right. And even some of the earliest creeds

:: 48:44:19

Brad Straarup

Yes,

:: 48:45:29

Pat McCalla

chief end of humans is to glorify God in joint forever.

:: 48:48:20

Paige Straarup

Like that's.

:: 48:49:04

Brad Straarup

the.

:: 48:49:08

Brad Straarup

Death.

:: 48:49:29

Brad Straarup

No, that's what it. Yeah.

:: 48:51:11

Pat McCalla

about. All right. Let's put that this has been so good and

:: 48:54:11

Pat McCalla

loving this.

:: 48:54:28

Pat McCalla

We

:: 48:55:01

Brad Straarup

this this is fun.

:: 48:57:15

Brad Straarup

This is,

:: 48:58:01

Pat McCalla

you know, of all of the podcasts that we've that we've posted over the years we've been doing this for. I think it's four years coming on August or whatever. The ones that are most listened to are the ones that deal with

:: 49:07:29

Brad Straarup

Oh, wow.

:: 49:08:22

Brad Straarup

Wow. Just because it's universal, right? It is

:: 49:11:01

Pat McCalla

life without

:: 49:11:15

Paige Straarup

know

:: 49:12:07

Pat McCalla

regardless of who you are. But I want to pivot before we we turn on these mikes. You guys were talking about your dating relationship and and getting married, and you said you were you were friends for two

:: 49:21:24

Brad Straarup

years.

:: 49:22:03

Brad Straarup

Yeah.

:: 49:23:01

Pat McCalla

and I made the comment. I'm like, oh, that's the way to start a relationship.

:: 49:26:02

Pat McCalla

Because friendship is really the core

:: 49:28:09

Brad Straarup

Yeah, it is.

:: 49:29:00

Pat McCalla

of a healthy

:: 49:30:00

Paige Straarup

marriage.

:: 49:30:26

Pat McCalla

And, you know, so you guys actually started years with a founder. You didn't realize

:: 49:35:03

Paige Straarup

at the.

:: 49:35:09

Paige Straarup

Time, right.

:: 49:36:12

Pat McCalla

but speak into that a little bit.

:: 49:37:27

Brad Straarup

Yeah.

:: 49:38:10

Brad Straarup

it's so funny. We we fell into it actually by by accident.

:: 49:42:05

Speaker 1

we're wrapping up this episode. Be sure to leave us a five star review. And if you're watching on YouTube, leave a comment on something you'll take away. All right, let's hop back into the remainder of the episode.

:: 49:52:29

Brad Straarup

Obviously I met I met Paige, she was actually friends with my roommate. So, you know, we became friends and whatnot, and then eventually, we became incredibly close friends. And I know people often are like, yeah, whatever. Like,

:: 50:03:20

Brad Straarup

you know, everyone says that, like, we were friends first and I'm like, no, no, no, no, no.

:: 50:07:24

Brad Straarup

Like, Paige was like, I need to introduce you to my friend. Like like it, like we were. It was it was legit. Like it was legit, legit. Legit.

:: 50:17:17

Brad Straarup

And

:: 50:18:16

Paige Straarup

no, like romantic interest

:: 50:19:29

Brad Straarup

you know,

:: 50:20:27

Paige Straarup

like, respected one another but just didn't. We had both kind of different reasons for why we had been like like kind of ruled out the other person as a possibility.

:: 50:30:15

Brad Straarup

So like.

:: 50:31:03

Brad Straarup

I didn't look like Zac Efron, you know.

:: 50:32:27

Brad Straarup

I'm like, no, you guys, I'm literally joking. I'm joking.

:: 50:38:11

Brad Straarup

no. So we we had this moment when we were dating and and Paige was, you know, there was this there was this girl, and Paige was like, you know, like, why don't you. Why don't you, pursue it with this girl? And she started backing away, and I was like, what are you doing? And she's like, there is no woman on earth that would be comfortable with our friendship.

:: 50:56:27

Brad Straarup

And she says, we're too close. And she said this line. She said, our friendship is terminal. It it's gonna have to end.

:: 51:04:10

Brad Straarup

And I was like, and I had this moment and and she was like, either I'll either our friendship ends or we get married. She's like this. She says.

:: 51:14:17

Brad Straarup

Like

:: 51:15:03

Paige Straarup

and wife

:: 51:15:12

Paige Straarup

or we're not

:: 51:16:07

Brad Straarup

friends.

:: 51:16:19

Brad Straarup

And like, my brain.

:: 51:18:04

Brad Straarup

Was

:: 51:18:12

Paige Straarup

between our spouses. But we believed like

:: 51:20:12

Paige Straarup

if I'm in a relationship, I'm even. I was like, once I'm dating someone like, I, I have to honor that person and we can't.

:: 51:26:17

Brad Straarup

Like, you know.

:: 51:27:16

Brad Straarup

Always

:: 51:27:27

Paige Straarup

completely platonic and had like healthy friendship boundaries.

:: 51:30:24

Paige Straarup

But I don't think a friendship

:: 51:32:06

Paige Straarup

between a man and a woman outside of a

:: 51:34:06

Brad Straarup

and

:: 51:34:24

Paige Straarup

was healthy for that. So we when we were single, it was totally appropriate. But the reality hit him. I had lived in that and was just like, yeah.

:: 51:43:00

Brad Straarup

I know that our friendship and yeah, it was a quote.

:: 51:46:21

Brad Straarup

That's a quote. That is a.

:: 51:47:28

Brad Straarup

Quote.

:: 51:48:12

Paige Straarup

But we were that's even like we were truly so close, like we were we spent a lot of time together. We were very honest with one another because because we had we're in this season of like, we weren't like sussing each other out. We weren't thinking maybe like and so many people date with, they'll say, we're just friends.

:: 52:05:08

Paige Straarup

It's why we always are like, no, you weren't just friends because they're date. They're still friends with the mask on to just be like, putting their best foot forward or like, yeah, we're friends first. Meaning we're not crossing any, like, romantic boundaries, but

:: 52:16:15

Brad Straarup

there's.

:: 52:16:24

Brad Straarup

There's.

:: 52:17:00

Brad Straarup

Interest of the other.

:: 52:18:07

Paige Straarup

For us, that was never the case. So we were truly like we were more intimate in a friendship than a lot of people are in a dating relationship, because it's like he he would rock up to to my house and like, I have no makeup on him, just like, oh, hey bro.

:: 52:33:17

Paige Straarup

Like, he was like like a brother in Christ to me. Truly the true way that people speak about it before. And I had no intention of trying to be with him, so I had nothing to lose. I wasn't trying to hide or protect part of me. I was like, if you're going to be my friend, you're like a girlfriend is kind of how like I treated him.

:: 52:51:04

Paige Straarup

And so there was a level of intimacy and deep, like love for one another that grew. So when we kind of crossed over. So back to when we

:: 52:59:14

Brad Straarup

Oh, no, it was so funny. She she's like, she's like our friendship terminal. And, so, you know, either we have to get married or, you know, whatever. So I have this moment where I'm like, oh my gosh. And I was like, should we date?

:: 53:13:20

Brad Straarup

Like, like, that's.

:: 53:14:21

Brad Straarup

How romantic I was. Like, I was like.

:: 53:16:17

Brad Straarup

I was like, should. I was like, should. I was like, does.

:: 53:19:04

Brad Straarup

That mean we should.

:: 53:19:21

Brad Straarup

As like should? I was like, should. I was like, should we date? And then and then we so we, we slowly.

:: 53:25:17

Brad Straarup

Start stepping into it. And it was.

:: 53:27:26

Brad Straarup

Awkward.

:: 53:28:25

Brad Straarup

Like the first time we held hands were like, And then I was like, hey babe.

:: 53:32:29

Brad Straarup

And she's like, don't call me that. Like. Like I'm not. I'm not really like it.

:: 53:37:09

Brad Straarup

It's like because it was a romance.

:: 53:39:11

Brad Straarup

Probably like a 1 in 1,000,000 because I.

:: 53:42:18

Brad Straarup

Just.

:: 53:43:04

Pat McCalla

I'm gonna go back what you said. Like I always have said, that I been like my wife and I, we knew each other since

:: 53:47:13

Paige Straarup

sixth grade. Yeah.

:: 53:48:18

Pat McCalla

sophomore year. We dated for years. We got married in 19.

:: 53:50:27

Pat McCalla

I always say like, oh, we were friends before. Well, kind of

:: 53:54:16

Brad Straarup

Yeah, yeah.

:: 53:55:17

Pat McCalla

when we were dating as a sophomore, we were just friends, but there was still a romantic interest

:: 54:00:07

Paige Straarup

Yeah.

:: 54:01:06

Pat McCalla

You guys are saying there was. It was truly a friendship

:: 54:04:27

Brad Straarup

Totally.

:: 54:05:19

Brad Straarup

You're you're not

:: 54:05:29

Pat McCalla

trying to put your best foot forward.

:: 54:08:17

Paige Straarup

You're just authentically yourself. Yes.

:: 54:10:19

Brad Straarup

And

:: 54:11:05

Brad Straarup

a time. There wasn't even physical attraction. Yeah. So like that's that's the other thing. And, and we have a saying that we say now we're like, you know, if you take two crooked sticks and rub them together long enough, you'll get a fire. And what I mean by that is like.

:: 54:23:16

Brad Straarup

Like, like like like, yeah, we're the crooked sticks. It's like. It's like.

:: 54:27:20

Brad Straarup

Attraction.

:: 54:28:24

Brad Straarup

Attraction can come.

:: 54:29:22

Brad Straarup

We don't have issues.

:: 54:30:10

Brad Straarup

They're not like.

:: 54:31:05

Brad Straarup

Yeah, like attraction. Attraction. Like now I'm like, now I'm like, you're the most beautiful girl in the world. And like. And she is my standard. But it's funny because everyone thinks, oh, we need to start attraction first, and then hopefully there's a friendship there. Here's the challenge, though. Like, obviously Proverbs even talks about it.

:: 54:46:02

Brad Straarup

Beauty fades.

:: 54:47:20

Brad Straarup

Beauty fades.

:: 54:48:07

Brad Straarup

when that beauty fades, if you've built your relationship on beauty.

:: 54:51:23

Brad Straarup

Well.

:: 54:53:01

Brad Straarup

What if? And we even hear this with, a lot of affairs happen while wives are pregnant and it's in that moment. They're not doing their makeup and all the different. Does that make sense? And so you had these moments.

:: 55:05:21

Brad Straarup

Or morning.

:: 55:06:08

Brad Straarup

Sickness. Yeah. Yeah. Or even or even.

:: 55:09:11

Brad Straarup

Built on infatuation.

:: 55:10:20

Brad Straarup

Yes.

:: 55:11:25

Brad Straarup

Yes. Now obviously, you know, I like we think when our wives are pregnant, they're the most beautiful people in the world. But but we've often seen that in culture because you've built your relationship on something that fades versus friendship when all that other stuff fades. Oh my gosh, she's still my best friend.

:: 55:28:04

Brad Straarup

Yeah, I.

:: 55:28:18

Brad Straarup

Just like to hang out with you. Like, I just want to. I just want to watch TV with you. I just want to walk with you.

:: 55:33:02

Brad Straarup

Yeah.

:: 55:33:09

Paige Straarup

And ultimately, we were. We know now, like we were attracted to each other. Just. It was more like a subconscious, like attraction in the sense of, like, we loved spending time together. We didn't think we were physically attracted to each other, but. But it's like attraction just look different of like we we gravitated towards each

:: 55:48:17

Brad Straarup

other. Yeah.

:: 55:49:04

Paige Straarup

And and and even fast forward to our story. Like, it's one of those things. It had to happen that way. That had to be how God did our story, because we didn't. We were robbed of our honeymoon season of marriage because the first two years were were hell and and and us trying to navigate. But we always say like it was the hardest two years of our life.

:: 56:07:25

Paige Straarup

But our marriage was never hard. Not none of it

:: 56:10:05

Brad Straarup

was.

:: 56:10:09

Brad Straarup

Our marriage was easy.

:: 56:11:21

Paige Straarup

Marriage was easy because the foundation was solid on friendship. In the moments where we couldn't physically be together or do like have a traditional like our first home. The other was like we lived with his parents for the first two

:: 56:22:22

Brad Straarup

years.

:: 56:23:09

Brad Straarup

So highly recommend

:: 56:26:02

Pat McCalla

You are, man. Brad and Paige, this is just been amazing. I can tell we could talk for hours.

:: 56:30:01

Brad Straarup

now.

:: 56:30:16

Brad Straarup

It's been so fun!

:: 56:31:16

Brad Straarup

Thank you so much for sharing. Thank you for sharing your pain.

:: 56:35:15

Pat McCalla

also just about the friendship. I mean, I think there's so much that our listeners and myself are going to take from

:: 56:40:06

Brad Straarup

this process. God will get

:: 56:42:00

Pat McCalla

connected to you? Some of our listeners are local. They know about their time that this is going to drop. You

:: 56:47:08

Paige Straarup

guys.

:: 56:47:14

Paige Straarup

Yeah. Planted a church

:: 56:48:26

Brad Straarup

Wild.

:: 56:49:26

Brad Straarup

Wild.

:: 56:50:24

Brad Straarup

Yeah.

:: 56:51:07

Brad Straarup

Wow. Yeah, yeah.

:: 56:52:22

Pat McCalla

Arizona area. So how would people, if they want to get Ahold of you, what would they do?

:: 56:56:08

Brad Straarup

Yeah. We're on we're on social media. On Instagram. My handle is Brad Straub. Chris's page story. Yeah.

:: 57:03:19

Brad Straarup

Slider in the description or something, but. Yeah.

:: 57:05:12

Brad Straarup

Page five is your name.

:: 57:06:29

Brad Straarup

Literally just our names?

:: 57:08:13

Brad Straarup

We're

:: 57:08:25

Paige Straarup

launching Spirit Church in Chandler, Arizona this fall. So maybe by the time this podcast is out will even be having services. But, so we'd love to just anybody searching for a place to call home. Community, a place to meet, garden,

:: 57:22:11

Brad Straarup

encounter him. Yeah, a really

:: 57:24:00

Paige Straarup

special way. We would love to love to connect.

:: 57:26:17

Brad Straarup

Yeah, yeah.

:: 57:27:09

Paige Straarup

Good, good.

:: 57:28:03

Pat McCalla

Well, we're going to wrap it up with this is kind of my favorite part of the podcast because it's ironic. Two

:: 57:32:21

Paige Straarup

truths and a lie.

:: 57:33:12

Brad Straarup

Yes. Oh yes.

:: 57:34:27

Brad Straarup

No

:: 57:35:02

Paige Straarup

gray areas. I'm going to ask you to lie to me so you can join me. And well,

:: 57:39:04

Pat McCalla

how about we start with you, Brad? You can give me three statements.

:: 57:41:19

Pat McCalla

Two are going to be truths. One is be like, I try to guess the lie.

:: 57:44:01

Brad Straarup

well, actually seem to put my phone withdrawal.

:: 57:45:18

Brad Straarup

Yeah. Go ahead.

:: 57:46:04

Pat McCalla

do you have

:: 57:46:14

Paige Straarup

I have my.

:: 57:47:09

Brad Straarup

she has her. She has her locked and loaded. Yeah.

:: 57:49:17

Brad Straarup

Otherwise I think

:: 57:50:21

Paige Straarup

The first one, I was an extra in a movie with Leonardo DiCaprio. The second one, I am a trained opera singer. The third one, I was bitten by a tiger.

:: 58:04:01

Pat McCalla

Oh, my goodness, these are so fun.

:: 58:06:19

Pat McCalla

I can kind of get it down to: 5050

:: 58:14:22

Pat McCalla

This was good.

:: 58:15:20

Paige Straarup

Trained opera singer, I would say is true.

:: 58:19:16

Paige Straarup

Yes. It's true.

:: 58:20:07

Paige Straarup

Okay,

:: 58:20:12

Pat McCalla

so now I got a: 5050

:: 58:21:28

Brad Straarup

complete.

:: 58:22:04

Brad Straarup

Yeah, that was great.

:: 58:23:03

Pat McCalla

Yeah.

:: 58:23:27

Pat McCalla

I'm just say you're extra. Extra in a movie to. You have not been bitten by a tiger. That's the lie.

:: 58:28:22

Paige Straarup

The lions that I was not an extra. And a movie.

:: 58:30:24

Brad Straarup

You can get my time was.

:: 58:32:14

Brad Straarup

Spent by Tiger. It was a baby tiger.

:: 58:36:18

Paige Straarup

He went, we were at like, in South Africa, like a little baby animals, like petting zoo. And I was holding a baby lion. I actually have a photo of it. I was holding a baby lion, and he was holding a baby tiger. And we're posing for the photo. And there are still large, like, like about this big.

:: 58:50:11

Paige Straarup

And. And he's holding the baby tiger and we're, like, posing. And his responsibility, which was the baby tiger reaches over and my whole arm is in its mouth and clamps down on my arm. No blood was shed, but it did hurt and I was bit by a tiger.

:: 59:04:09

Pat McCalla

Not many people can say that.

:: 59:05:16

Brad Straarup

all right. And she wasn't she wasn't wasn't.

:: 59:07:11

Brad Straarup

I've

:: 59:07:15

Paige Straarup

been an extra at the movies, but just never with Leonardo.

:: 59:09:21

Paige Straarup

DiCaprio.

:: 59:10:09

Brad Straarup

Okay.

:: 59:10:26

Brad Straarup

Those

:: 59:11:00

Paige Straarup

are good. Okay, Brad. Go ahead.

:: 59:13:01

Brad Straarup

I was held up at gunpoint.

:: 59:14:17

Brad Straarup

Okay? My cousin was bit by a bull shark in open water.

:: 59:20:01

Brad Straarup

I played the biggest festival in South Africa in a rock band.

:: 59:25:20

Pat McCalla

Okay, man, those are good ones, too. You seem like the type of guy that's held up at gunpoint. I'm gonna say

:: 59:31:03

Brad Straarup

that's true.

:: 59:31:18

Brad Straarup

It's true. Okay. All set of in South Africa. Hahaha. You're like yes. From is.

:: 59:38:09

Brad Straarup

Probably true.

:: 59:38:27

Pat McCalla

tourism, trade in South

:: 59:40:29

Brad Straarup

Africa?

:: 59:41:05

Brad Straarup

Yes.

:: 59:41:19

Brad Straarup

Not happy with.

:: 59:42:05

Brad Straarup

You right now.

:: 59:42:22

Brad Straarup

No tiger.

:: 59:43:20

Brad Straarup

There. No.

:: 59:44:26

Brad Straarup

It's a great place. Go.

:: 59:45:26

Pat McCalla

your cousin got bit by bull shark. That's true.

:: 59:47:29

Brad Straarup

That is true. There we go. Great job.

:: 59:49:29

Brad Straarup

Great job.

:: 59:51:00

Brad Straarup

so did.

:: 59:51:27

Brad Straarup

Play at the biggest festival. Not in a rock band and a jazz band and a jazz pop band.

:: 59:57:00

Brad Straarup

So do you play.

:: 59:58:16

Brad Straarup

Drums?

:: 59:59:04

Brad Straarup

Okay.

:: 59:59:18

Brad Straarup

Yeah. That's cool.

:: 00:00:14

Brad Straarup

So we always do a slight truth, a slight lie.

:: 00:03:08

Brad Straarup

Yeah, because it's great. Yeah. That's great. That's a great game. Yeah, it's a great game.

:: 00:06:29

Brad Straarup

It's like we're allowed to lie, you know?

:: 00:09:07

Brad Straarup

Hahahahahahahaha. Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. Turn it into a game. Yeah.

:: 00:13:18

Pat McCalla

Well, hey, thank you again for being on here. We really

:: 00:15:18

Paige Straarup

thank you for having

:: 00:16:08

Brad Straarup

us.

:: 00:16:13

Brad Straarup

Thank you for having us.

:: 00:17:13

Paige Straarup

Huge honor.

:: 00:17:28

Paige Straarup

Man.

:: 00:18:11

Pat McCalla

on you guys getting ready to launch the

:: 00:19:27

Brad Straarup

Thank you so much. Been an honor.

:: 00:21:20

Speaker 1

What an honor it was to share that vulnerable conversation with Brad and Paige. Their story is a reminder that hope is coming, and that even in the darkest waiting seasons, God is working. If this episode moved you, be sure to subscribe and share it with someone who needs a fresh perspective or a little bit of hope. Thanks for tuning in and we'll see you soon!

:: 00:41:09

Speaker 1

In our next episode of No Gray Areas.

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