Welcome to the Reality Check podcast. Psychosis is Real, so is Recovery.

On this episode, Ashley Weiss and Serena Chaudhry speak with musician and songwriter Sierra Swan, for an honest conversation about creativity, resilience, and finding hope through the challenges of mental illness. Sierra is known for her work with Dollshead, Black Eyed Peas, and as a solo artist.

Sierra shares her personal insights on the healing power of music and the importance of destigmatizing mental health experiences. Don’t miss this heartfelt discussion about art, authenticity, and recovery.

Catch Sierra Swan live at Calm's “In My Mind” in New Orleans on November 7th.

👉 Get Tickets Here - https://securetu.tulane.edu/s/1586/Giving/16/events.aspx?sid=1586&gid=2&pgid=13923&cid=31327

Subscribe for more episodes of Reality Check, where we uncover the truth behind mental health, one story at a time.

For more information about Clear Answers to Louisiana Mental Health (CALM) and their Early Intervention Psychosis Program (EPIC NOLA), visit the website: www.calmnola.org

Find out more about Sierra Swan, visit - www.sierraswan.com

Podcast produced by Red Rock Branding – www.redrockbranding.com

Sierra – Calm

Audio transcript

So we're really excited to be here today. I'm Ashley Weiss and I have my partner, Serena Chaudhry and really excited today because we have a very special guest.

Not only is she a musician, a mom, but she's also going to be here for In My Mind, going on tour with Cold, and your final stop, I believe, or next to final stop will be here in New Orleans with us. super happy to meet you before and to have some good conversations.

And so welcome.

Thank you so much for having me. I can't wait to meet you guys in person. The show is the second to last show. And it's like the perfect way to kind of round the bend. So I'm excited. It's going to be fun.

Ashley Weiss : First, I would just love to hear about you and how you came into your current life and things that have mattered along the way.

All right, well, I can give you a quick slash long version of it. ⁓ Well, you know, I've been doing, I've been an artist for pretty much most of my life. I started when I was 18, I got signed to my first record deal back when they had did, back when that stuff happened. Okay. So this is like the nineties. ⁓

Love it.

Right. Was it like a random

table? ⁓

Yeah,

totally different experience. Nothing like it is now. But ⁓ so I was in a band called Doll's Head that was very cool, of darker, you know, that whole thing that was going on back then, the grungier side of things and like garbage. And it was kind of like that, you know, but I was very young and it was the guys in the band were older. So it was a very intense experience because I was so young to be traveling, but then also I wasn't traveling with people my age. So it was like very

another story. Anyway, it was a rock club and he saw me there and that's how I met him initially. he was, Jenn Littleton, kind of, who signed his band. I don't think she signed the gold, but she was working with the company. I think she brought him. Anyway, he liked what I was doing and asked me to sing on the second record and sing on the second one. It went so well that I sing on the third record. And so we've always.

had a, you know, I owe so much to him because he did a lot and in the sense of very much starting my career in a way, you know, he played a big part of that. So this like is particularly really fun that we're gonna do this tour because it's kind of like going down memory lane but also recreating something completely new. And I'm excited to do the show as like almost like even though I'll be playing.

I'm gonna not really, I know how cool it's gonna be. So I'm gonna be performing, but I'm gonna be watching from above, because it's gonna be a really cool experience for anyone that goes. I also forgot to mention, should, I come from a musical family. My father's name is Billy Swan. He was Kris Kristofferson's

Yeah.

Right, kind of, well, one of Kris Kristofferson's best friend, but he was in his band for years and years and years and years. And so when I was a kid, you know, I used to go on tour with my dad. And so music is very much, it's always been in my life and it's always been something how my family accepts handling problems. You know, I got really lucky when, in the sense that I came from a creative family. So me being creative wasn't a strange thing. So I got a lot of freedom out of that.

You know, and yeah, and my sister is also a musician. Her name's Planet. So her name's Swan. So you can get the sense of my just by the fact that my name's Sierra Swan, which now everyone's name is Sierra, but no one is named Planet. nobody at all. yeah, that's on her birth certificate, Planet Swan.

⁓

that's

I was just gonna say I appreciate that you mentioned that your family uses music to solve problems. And I was wondering if you could tell us a little bit more.

yeah.

yeah. yeah. Well, I mean, you know, being a little Sierra was, you whenever a conversation with my, all my conversations with my father was about music. mean, he used, as soon as he could tell that I liked to, I liked music, I'm sure he was thrilled, but he really nurtured it. I used to get a CD. I used to get a Beatles CD every week, which was basically like, listen to this. was like my homework.

You know, ⁓ when I started, when he could tell that I started liking Patsy Cline, who's like one of my favorite vocalists of all time. He like got me like every single Patsy Cline CD, like it was really nourished. It was so nourished and my mom was a wild spirit. She was also an artist, but she was more like the muse of the household. Do you know what I mean? Like she was the ethereal figure kind of walking around.

Yeah.

if that makes any sense. And my dad was just like, and my dad was like, they're like, you like that? Well, then you better listen to this. and that also has meant a lot to me because he sensed my gentility and he sensed that I needed that as well. Not just cause I liked it. It was gonna help me, you know, on whatever path I was going on. So he nurtured it. He really nurtured it. And so did my mom very much. So her, her.

Yeah.

Her vibe was a little bit more hardcore. It's weird. It's like I say ethereal, but she was also kind of, she was also kind of punk. So you can be both of those things, by the way. You can be ethereal and kind of punk rock. Yeah. And my dad was like, you know, he made, he made money doing music. So it was just like, as far as they're concerned, you know, if you take it seriously, not only is it good for the soul, but it could be good for your pocket.

Hahaha

Hahaha

Yes.

Now a little bit more difficult. It's a lot more difficult now to make music and make money. but you know, gotta be creative.

Totally. And I asked that question in particular because a lot of the patients at our clinic use art and ⁓ song writing and playing to address problems, solve problems, process problems. And so I love the fact that you bring that experience and that appreciation to this tour. And you're going to be there for our patients in our community in New Orleans to listen to. And then you're going to be able to listen to them...

Ashley Weiss (6:45)

When we're first meeting people and typically they're at the worst moment of their life. And these are usually 16 to 25 year olds and like life was ahead, college is ahead, all of these things. And it kind of gets derailed briefly while feeling better and a lot of them put all of that stuff on the back burner ⁓ because the psychiatric psychological recovery kind of takes like front and center but it's really

It's really inspiring to sort of, you sort of get to know them over time and see it like its way back into how they identify, seeing professionals and like seeing professionals in this world is also a really lovely thing to bring to, for them to meet you.

⁓ and also it's like when, then when certain, what I can't express enough about art, artistry and creativity coming from a very ⁓ emotional place is it's a journey. And sometimes I think kids, younger kids who, being young is traumatizing in general, you know, it's like, but, but, you know, people who are having a hard time kind of and you have like a hope and a dream, especially for an artist and you know, wanting to quote unquote make it. And that could be a lot of different ways to make it. You know what I mean? But sometimes when you see someone doing it from a stage, it looks so like unavailable. Like, and not just anybody, when someone's doing it well, like when someone is doing it, like that's wow. How are they doing that? What a lot of times you don't realize is, how long it takes to get there and that it is very much possible for absolutely everyone. Everyone absolutely can do it, but it takes a lot of falling down and getting up, falling down, getting up, being slammed down and not being able to get up maybe for a year, but you still get right back up. That's the only reason I think I always think like anytime someone sees like a star or someone that like is doing.

They're glittering, I really do feel like, because they have walked through fire. There's a reason why people that you are gravitating to a certain kind of voice or gravitating to a certain kind of music or something does really well. I mean, sure, there's a lot of crap out there too, but I'm just saying, but real rock stars, which there's a difference, there's a difference. They've walked through fire, so it's so important for young kids who are challenged in any way to look at that and touch it and ask it questions and feel it, you know? So, yeah.

For sure... we were lucky. We had Lindsay Manfredi from Cold on the podcast

Sweet.... She's so genuinely sweet.

Yeah, and that came across so authentically in the podcast and she told her story of becoming a magician and teaching herself to play and the hard journey that it was. It can seem really inaccessible when you've already walked through fire once and you're needing to do it again.

And that's just not music and that's just not artists. That's like, who knows? You can meet a therapist and they're like the best therapist ever because, well, there's a reason or the best doctor could be anybody. It's just, know, musicians get all the lights and stuff. know, that's the only difference.

You know, one of having and like witnessing people recovering from psychosis where it's so out, it's so, like you can't, they feel like they can't tell people what's going on because it's too much, it's too unusual, it's too bizarre, people are gonna think I'm weird, people are gonna think I'm crazy.

I remember feeling like people were gonna think I'm crazy because all I liked to wear was black. know, they're like, amplify that by a million. So then they'll sort of come, you know, when they're getting better, be like, oh gosh, like, it's gonna be so hard to go do this. I remember one of our mutual patients, Serena, she does like spoken word and stuff. Like how will I ever go and do this in front of somebody again? And I was like, you've, you're in recovery from schizoaffective disorder. I think that you met your match. Like, think that you'll be fine. Like you're a warrior and just go take your warrior ways to stage.

Right, and share that with others.

Totally.

So a huge part of the work we do with our clinic is education around psychosis in an attempt to de-stigmatize it. And stigma lives large in our society, lives large in the South. And I'm curious what stigma you run up against, if any, in the music industry, stigma around mental illness.

Oh God, are you kidding me? I'm a woman who writes all of my own music.

I mean, ever since I was a kid, know, just a lot of the most common thing I think when somebody is

just trying to be themselves a hundred percent themselves There's a lot of gaslighting in that I don't you know sometimes when you like I mean I personally came across a lot of And it's not even bullying. It's just a lot of like You know, especially when you're young, especially when you're young, you know You don't know what you're talking about kind of stuff brushing people aside and

That, I mean, that kind of followed me until I was really 40. You know, do you know what I mean? Like it took a while for me to kind of like snap out and be like, wait a minute, why am I allowing people to make me feel weird about like my instincts? Like, do you know what I mean? I know they're right. And why am I allowing that? And then there was just a hard stop and I just became,

exactly who I was unapologetically, but it took me a long time to do that. Yeah, people are people and mostly the people that I came across that made me feel less had a lot of clout or money, perhaps. I don't like, I don't know how that's, does that sound weird? But they had a lot going for them. They had a lot of power. That's a better way to put it.

power.

Yeah. Right.

They had a lot of power. but then, you know, a lot of times we're around certain people, we forget why they're with us. Why are they hanging out with me? You know, I think that's something to remind ourselves. we're feel like we are have to hide ourselves in front of maybe certain kinds of people as well. These people want to hang out with you for a reason as well.

You tend to, yeah, hide yourself. And it just takes, it took me a long time to just stop doing that. I don't, you know, because I did know I had, I had a lot to offer and I had no idea why I was, you know, I don't know, you know, not, was going to go 80%, never a hundred, you know, and 80 % is a lot. feel like a lot of people operate on 80 % and not a hundred because 80 % looks good enough, but.

You know, we could all go a little harder being, being ourselves, you know, and being in an industry that definitely, ironically, like that's actually what you're supposed to be doing. Doesn't want you to do that. ⁓

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Right, that's like such a mixed message from being...

It's a real, yeah, it's a real mixed bag. That's the only reason why I like what's going on right now because you can be an independent artist and really get to do what you want. But it's also a lot of work. It's a lot of work. You have to be willing to do the work. Like you have to make something that's very difficult look kind of easy, you know, which is sometimes a hundred percent. That's your, that's your hundred percent. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know if any of that made sense, but.

Yeah, it totally makes sense. And I agree with Ashley. It's super sad to think about in 2025 that women still have to fight to be seen in the music industry where I'm going to offer that women dominate.

I’m curious about mental illness and to what extent you think there is an open dialogue around mental health, mental illness in the music industry and to what extent you think it's stigmatized.

I think it does exist. you make your own community kind of now more so in the industry and I am, you know, social media has kind of, it's like good and bad in the sense there's a lot of people that are not so great for your mental health that just can pop in wherever you'd like them to comment on whatever they think about you. But there are a lot of safe spaces too.

I would say no, if it was 20 years ago, absolutely not. don't, I think it was very, not a, not a very safe place, mental illness at all in that, in that, in that way it was existed back then. I think it's probably a lot safer now. It's weird how life works where as, left as people go, they, as they go just as far right, like there's kind of...

No middle ground in the sense that, well, I would just say 20 years there wasn't, now there is, but you just have to be more careful, I guess, like in a way, because there's more people looking at you. Do you know what I mean?

I think about so many people that died by suicide, know, like in, I know that Scooter shares his stories of people, you know, those songs, but I guess how was that? How was that? Because that was a while back when it sort of felt like every year some rock musician was dead.

Yeah. Yeah. there was some very, very dark times back then. There was also, you know, unfortunately, certain drugs were glorified I certainly know that drugs was a lot more almost available back then where it was actually, wasn't as, it was not that as frowned upon. It wasn't frowned upon back then. Now, I mean, I have a son, I have a 15 year old son.

And this generation is so different. Like they don't, they don't experiment. Like I feel like I experimented. You know what I mean? And I mean, either I'm like, he's the best little actor in town or like that's, just, but I find that to be true. And I talked to other parents about this. Yeah, it was darker back then. It was a little bit of a darker time and it's certain in, in music. I mean, I would think, right.

Yeah, why do you think that was?

Like I think I said before, I think it was a little bit more glorified. Like I don't think it was frowned upon as much. I mean, I had friends, I went to an all-girl Catholic school and there were more drugs going on there than there are probably in public schools now. I don't know. It's just like, was, yeah. And I don't know why that was, because in a way the 90s,

If you look at comparatively where we are now, the nineties, had a lot more, I mean, it was a lot less stressful in a certain kind of way. I feel like, mean, mean, the phone does not help. You know, I, that's one thing I really am concerned with about young people and mental illness and mental health and all that is the phones. Like I just, I can't imagine being 15 or 16 and like seeing like the tragic events just nonstop on your phone. Like I really, that worries me a lot. I think about that a lot.

Yeah, for sure. I have a 16 year old as well. And I think you've spoken many truths in the challenges of having the phone and also just the way in which kids operate now being so different than before. And I think in some ways circling back to a point you made about eyes always being on people through social media, think that's, that, mm-hmm.

Yeah. And you never know who it is. You don't know who's watching.

know, it's just like, it's wild. It's really wild.

Yeah, is a, thinking about it like that is, it's really bizarre. Yeah, you don't know who this is. People are, they're like, yeah. Yeah.

Mm hmm.

So I would like to hear a little bit about, not that it's like spoiler alerts, but what are some of the, what are you feeling in particularly excited about with this tour? I mean, cause it's, you guys have known each other for a long time. There's like musical journey on both sides and like.

sneak peek of like the common thread.

The common thread?

Well, I have to say, you know, there's certain people that you meet in your life that you don't know what it is or why it is, but you just connect with them. And I've met so many artists and musicians doing this as long as I have. And they're all lovely. But there really isn't, I haven't met many like Scooter. And you know, also the cool part about

The two of us, think we've always been very connected musically as far as what we both liked. I we used to sit and listen to music for hours and hours and hours together. I mean, I cannot tell you, he took me to my first Rush concert. I knew a ton about music and so did he. So we shared so much music together, which those people are so important in your life. We know that. People who turn you on to music is just like.

Those people, those people matter. Also we had the experience of this music business being as wild as it is, you know, we have a connected understanding of theatrics and music, you know, this, you know, we like the same stuff, like, you know what I mean? And that's a rare quality. So we always have lined up on like every level we've always lined up. So there's something, I think this is super special, like I said in the beginning, because I don't think we imagined we would ever do something like this. But I, I'll tell you how it even happened.You know, every time they're in Minneapolis or anytime they were in LA, when I lived in LA, I always, always go and do the songs that I would, you know, did on those records. And so,

You know, we've kind of done that forever, but it finally came to a point. And then I had him sing on one of my songs, a song called, You Got Away on one of my albums and people that's like their favorite song, which is fine. Love that. Good. ⁓ I mean, thanks. Thanks for liking anything. That's wonderful. And of course, Scooter was the featured guest vocalist on that. But I had called him. This is like, I was actually, I remember where I was speaking of Tool, which is just funny because I was, my best friend's Corina Round from Puscifer and I was with her and I had gone to a Puscifer show and then I came and I don't know, I staying at her hotel or something and she was doing something and I, I had, I had text scooter like days before that about, possibly like opening up for him, opening up for cold at some point, cause I'm working on a new project.

And he was like, okay, that's cool, Swan. And he's like, I kind of think I got maybe something cooler. And I was like, okay, what's that? And what would that be? And he was like, we're doing this winery tour and it's going to be like a little bit more, like not acoustic, but a little bit more chill. And why don't you come on, play some piano and like do some vocals and all that stuff. And I was just like.

Yeah, actually, why not? That would be incredible. And maybe he thought I was gonna say no, I don't know. Of course I was gonna say yes. And now that it's happening, we're both getting more and more excited, because we're realizing how cool it actually will be. When you say yes to something, you're like, yeah, I could see that. And then now that it's gonna be fully realized, and we have to do it, it's happening. Like it's not not happening.

You start to like imagine what it could be in your brain. And you're like, Ooh, this is going to be rad. You know, like this is going to be cool. As I'm rehearsing, I've got my basement kind of all set up, like my keyboard and my notebooks and everything and going through over like what would be cool back at like vocally and doing stuff. And I'm just like, Ooh, this is going to be good. So it's going to be awesome because there's so much history there. And it's just, I don't know, it's kind of a real candle on top of the cake show.I do think so. It's gonna be really cool.

The guys from University Drive are probably just like over the top freaking out like How cool is this?

I know and they're they are so sweet, I love them so much. They're all so genuinely kind like, you know, I used to go on tours on the 90s in the 90s early 2000s. Maybe it's because I'm older and they're like people are just nicer because I'm like, not in my 20s anymore.

But yeah, I felt like the energy and tours like in my twenties was just like, everybody was so like miserable on the bus, miserable here, miserable there. People are much happier to be on the road these days. That's all I'm saying is like, I just notice they're just, they're, the sweetest guys, basically. That was my big way of getting to that point. Yeah.... hahahaha.

Yeah. Yeah, I can't remember which one, but he was like, I'm just like it to learn all the time.

Yeah, no, that's true.

It's like, I'm just like, get to do this cool thing. And then I'm like learning.

Yeah, yeah, well, there's no better learning than doing a tour because it's like day in, day out, and every show is an opportunity to make it better. That's why the show that you guys are gonna get is gonna be amazing because it's, yeah, it's the second to last show and it's gonna be, oh you guys are probably gonna get the best one, actually. It's gonna be amazing.

Yeah. just listening to you talk about it makes me so excited.

it's gonna be, I think magical is a good word. It's gonna be magical. Yeah, yeah, for sure.

Yeah, we're, it's very moving night already, because it's kind of for Serena and I, it's our 10 year anniversary of our clinic. We started the clinic 10 years ago.

Congratulations, that's incredible. [thank you] That's a big accomplishment. That's huge.

So yeah, and then having like my favorite band in the world there.

⁓ that's so amazing! ⁓ my god!

I know, so I think I'm gonna retire. It's like. My best friend in the world, we've started this clinic, help people. My favorite band is coming for our benefit. We're done. ⁓

my god, I'm excited for this night. This is gonna be incredible. That's beautiful. I'm gonna bring it for you guys that night, I promise. I promise. Of course.

super special.

Okay.

Thank you. Thank you for coming on. Thank you for talking to us and sharing.

My God,my honor, my privilege. Can't wait to meet you girls in person. Ladies, ladies.

Yeah, the next chit chat can be how to parent teenagers.

I'm in for that one. I could use all the advice. It's just, nice and confusing. Well, thanks for having me. I really, really enjoyed this.

Yeah, we will see you on November 7th and everybody in New Orleans should be there for November 7th

Yes, you will.

We'll definitely at that point have so much like great road footage and great show footage like yeah. And then, you know, give people a little twinkle, a little twinkle of what to expect. Yeah, so it'll kind of be, it will be nice and built by that point.

And I can be really dramatic and totally say this night won't ever happen again.

Ah.... that's like a heartbreak and also exciting at the same time.

For sure. It makes it even more magical.

Exactly, exactly, I can't wait.

Okay, well so nice to meet you. I love your glasses too. In a month, in a month. All right.

It was nice to meet you too!

Thank you,