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Reclaiming Power in Midlife: Navigating ADHD, Hormones, and New Beginnings
Episode 1 • 14th October 2024 • ADHD Powerful Possibilities: New and Late Diagnosis & Beyond • ADHD Coach Katherine Sanders
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ADHD Coach Katherine Sanders

Reclaiming Power in Midlife: Navigating ADHD, Hormones, and New Beginnings

 Welcome back to a brand-new season of ADHD Powerful Possibilities!

In today’s episode, we're diving into ADHD in midlife—looking at how hormonal changes, shifting responsibilities, and new beginnings create both challenges and opportunities for our growth.

If you’ve found yourself feeling overwhelmed, struggling to stay on top of conversations, or considering an ADHD diagnosis, you are not alone.

This episode explores what it means to reclaim your power in midlife with ADHD, focusing on self-compassion, embracing change, and practical strategies for navigating this time of life.

What You'll Learn in This Episode:

  • Navigating ADHD in Midlife: Understanding how hormonal changes impact ADHD symptoms, particularly the relationship between estrogen and dopamine. (Timestamp: 10:45)
  • The Importance of Self-Compassion: We can't be consistent like a well-behaved "productive economic unit"— we have to recognise and respect your natural ebb and flow. (Timestamp: 5:20)
  • Physical Changes and Their Impact on the Brain: How changes in our physical health—like muscle mass, hormone levels, and cardiovascular health—affect our brains as we age. (Timestamp: 12:10)
  • Balancing Family, Career, and Self-Care: Discussing the complexity of midlife responsibilities—from raising children later in life to caring for aging parents—and how to carve out time for yourself. (Timestamp: 15:25)
  • Micro-Goals and Celebrations: How setting small, achievable goals and celebrating the wins can help us stay motivated and energized. (Timestamp: 25:15)
  • The Power of Community: Finding your tribe is crucial. Whether it’s an online group, a peer support network at work, or friends who just get you—connection can help bring joy and energy to life with ADHD. (Timestamp: 32:40)
  • Taking the ADHD Growth Archetype Quiz: Want to know more about your unique ADHD strengths? The quiz is a great way to understand your next steps without getting stuck. Take the ADHD Growth Archetype Quiz Here(Timestamp: 38:00)

Resources Mentioned:

  • ADHD Growth Archetype Quiz: Take the quiz now to discover your unique strengths and growth opportunities.
  • Connect with Me Online: Find me on Instagram @adhd_coach_katherine for more insights, encouragement, and updates.

Reflection Points:

  • What small action can you take this week to reclaim some of your power in midlife?
  • How can you reframe a current challenge as an opportunity for growth?

Want to Share Your Thoughts? 

If today’s episode resonated with you, please leave a review on your favorite podcast platform—it helps others find the show! And don’t forget to share it with a friend who might benefit.

Stay curious, take care of yourselves, and remember: you're more capable, resilient, and creative than you realize.

Connect with Katherine here:


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Transcripts

Speaker:

Welcome back.

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My friends, it is ADHD, peripheral

possibilities, and we are back with

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a new episode and a new season.

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Today, we're going to talk

about ADHD in midlife.

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If you've ever felt like you're constantly

losing this thread of conversations

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and you are maybe getting distracted

all the time is getting worse.

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Perhaps you've been diagnosed

with ADHD or you're thinking

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about going for a diagnosis.

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You are not alone.

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MetLife can feel like a real

uncertain time for so many of us.

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The great news is it's also a chance for

us to discover new ways of doing things.

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To discover and reclaim who we

really are and who we want to be.

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And I want to talk about

a few things we can do.

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Of course.

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So grab a cup of tea.

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Sit down and let's get started.

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Before we dive into the

main topic of today.

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I just wanted to talk a little bit

about the break I took over the summer.

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It started because I was not very well.

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And then it just kind of kept going.

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And I think it's actually a

really useful thing for me to

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share with you for a few reasons.

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I am a person who is always.

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Pushing myself to be productive.

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If I'm not doing something,

it feels really hard.

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And although there are different

kinds of rest and I'm a big fan

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of active rest and creative rest.

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There are some times when

you just need a break.

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And I gave myself permission

with a big capital P.

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I recognize that for me

to be able to help you.

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As a coach.

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And as somebody talking about ADHD online,

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I had to work with my

own capacity and energy.

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And that is not something that

is constant for any of us.

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Especially if we are in female bodies.

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Was menopause and with families and

we all kinds of things going on.

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To reclaim our power.

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In mid-life whether we have ADHD or

not, whether we have ovaries or not.

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We have to focus on

giving ourselves grace.

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And permission.

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We have to recognize our capacity.

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And be absolutely unapologetic about

the fact that like the sea lakes and

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moon, like anything that is natural and

not made out of concrete or plastic.

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We are not going to be consistent

in the ways that, uh, The

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productive economic unit should be.

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Most importantly, if we want to

make meaningful change, which is

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something I am passionate about doing.

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We have to start by recognizing

and respecting our own needs.

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Seeing that let's get

back to ADHD in midlife.

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Let's begin with the physical changes that

our brain experiences as we start to age.

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And when I say midlife, I'm talking

about anything from 35 to 40 upwards.

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Because let's say the average

life span is around 75, maybe

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a bit longer in some places.

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By the time you get to 35, you are in

midlife and that's quite scary, but

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you're going to start to experience

neurological and physical changes.

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Because this is something

that I come up against a lot.

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We forget that our brain

is part of our body.

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And the two are one organism

is just one of them.

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Is given the job of producing or taking

part in our thoughts and experiences.

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So as our bodies age, as our arteries,

maybe start to be a bit less flexible

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as we start to lose muscle mass.

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As our hormone levels,

start to shift and decline.

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Our brain is going to go through

some significant changes too.

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And that means.

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People who have ADHD or ADHD type brains.

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Which means that certain

connections and areas in our brain,

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certain of the functions in the

neurotransmitter production and uptake.

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Are different.

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They're going to start to feel,

a, more exaggerated to change.

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Because as our hormone levels,

decline of tools you before.

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As our estrogen declines, our

dopamine production declines.

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Which means, obviously if we're

already challenged, In the

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area of dopamine regulation.

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It's just going to get more difficult.

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Many of us are extremely busy.

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We are the squashed middle between parents

and children and jobs and business.

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This means it's incredibly

hard to balance.

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Exercise and sleep and nutrition.

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mindfulness self care,

whatever it is we need to do.

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But those become even more important.

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The less time we have for them.

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And of course, when we

don't make time for that.

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It really changes how

your brain functions.

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I can't be the only person who has.

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Really noticeably experienced

the impact of a lack of sleep on.

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How we focus, how much work we can do.

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Or motivation or determination

to stick with our goals.

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For lots of you.

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Midlife just feels like an endless

list of responsibilities where

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tickling businesses, careers.

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Some of us have small children.

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I was 36 when my daughter was born.

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And that is an incredible lot to take on.

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I want to share a different

way of looking at it.

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And this is part of the shift I

have made myself over the last year.

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Especially over the summer.

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I want to think about how we

can focus on this as a real

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chance for growth and change.

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A real.

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Shift where we can pivot into a different

way of thinking and acting and being.

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So one of the things that often happens

is, especially if we've started a family,

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we might need to change our career.

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This is still predominantly something

that happens to women, but you know, it.

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A fair few number of men who take up the

role of caring for their children at home.

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This means we've got an

opportunity to change our career.

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To reassess our priorities.

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To think about what a life that

we would enjoy might be like,

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And of course the great

thing about having ADHD.

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Isn't that we are

inherently more creative.

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But we have a divergent thinking style.

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That means we're more likely

to spot opportunities.

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To have a new way of looking at things.

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And to have that impulsive push

to just take a risk and go for it.

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So if we can find ways to integrate

looking after ourselves, And nurturing

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these new ideas, these new possibilities.

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At the same time as building your

business, looking after your family,

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whatever it is that you're doing.

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It can have a compound effect

on how we feel going forward.

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And some of you have already taken my

ADHD, growth archetype quiz and something

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I've noticed from just about every single

person is that they are all very adaptive.

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And some of them are incredibly good.

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Uh, investigating and synthesizing

the information they've got by

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far, the biggest number of people

who've taken that quiz so far are

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what I call , adaptive explorers.

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Which means.

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They already have this advantage

over lots of people in that word.

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Still thinking a little bit more.

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Expansively a little bit more.

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Experimentally

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I would love you to take the quiz

and let me know how you get on.

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And if you agree with

the results that you get.

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I'll include a link in the show notes.

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And of course, in all of my places online.

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It's a great way to start thinking about.

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What is my next step?

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And what are the possible

challenges I may come up against?

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When I'm trying to reassess

who I am, who I want to be.

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where, I want to go.

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And of course, we need to

look at practical ideas here.

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It's great for me to sit here

and say, let's reclaim our

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power in midlife with ADHD.

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But what does that mean?

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Some of us have only just

discovered that the reason.

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Life has felt so challenging is because

we have a differently structured brain.

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And that kind of cause a lot of

challenges throughout our life.

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So the first thing that we can do.

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Is to recognize that these challenges,

these difficulties, these things

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have happened to us in the past.

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Are actually great chances for us

to recognize things about ourself.

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And things for the world.

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And to turn it around and

see, well, what can I learn?

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From what I've been through so far.

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Instead of thinking.

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Good grief.

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That was really hard.

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And we've all been there and we all do it.

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It's normal to think.

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I've had enough.

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That's all key, but what can you

learn from the circumstances?

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That took you to that

break to that burn note.

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To that.

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Giving up, you could hear whatever it was.

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Use that as a chance to really

discover something about yourself.

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But what you need, what

your priorities are.

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And the wonderful thing is that our brains

don't stop changing as we get older.

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So when we practice reframing these

difficult circumstances, as challenges,

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as opportunities to learn exciting new

things about ourselves and the world.

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Our brains are going to start

to do that more regularly.

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It will feel awkward to begin with.

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I can guarantee it.

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If something terrible has happened

in your life, please don't think.

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I'm seeing use this as a

learning or teaching moment.

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That's not what I want at all.

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We have to acknowledge that trauma

happens and it's especially likely

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to happen to people who are new to

divergent, whether they know it or not.

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What I am seeing is that.

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These challenges that are not trauma.

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Or are not the big T trauma are ones that

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we can use to see ourselves.

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Our strengths.

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Uh, what we want to do differently.

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What we can learn about

the world about ourselves.

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When we reframe them.

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As a chance to learn.

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And to challenge ourselves rather than

feel like the world is persecuting us.

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So, whether that means

you've got problems at work.

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Whether you need to rebalance family life.

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Why do you need to reprioritize

looking after yourself?

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These are opportunities

for you to reassess.

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Rebalance.

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And make small incremental changes.

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The next thing we can do to

give ourselves a bit more power.

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As we enter midlife is to focus

on our goals and celebrations.

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Now I am not a fan of reward

charts for children generally.

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the reward is too far away from the

action for the young person, for the child

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to recognize it and really embrace it.

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And that's something that we experienced.

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Before we knew about ADHD earned.

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Dopamine reward system.

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So I'm a big fan of micro goals

and micro rewards and actions.

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That can be, I am going to

sit down and record the first

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podcast for several months.

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And after half an hour, I'm going

to go and dance to my favorite tune.

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I'm going to have a

really lovely cup of tea.

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I am going to go and snuggle with my dog.

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That's the kind of reward and celebration.

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And small task that I

think is helpful for us.

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Another thing you can do that I think

has made a big difference for me.

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Is finding five minutes in the morning.

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Five minutes before anyone else

gets up and just sitting quietly.

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You can go outside.

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If you're lucky enough to

have a garden, you can just be

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somewhere quiet and soft and warm.

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And have a coffee or a tea.

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But those five minutes.

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If you are really present.

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Feel like.

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Plugging yourself into.

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An incredibly energizing circuit.

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I'm not a morning person,

as anyone will tell you.

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But that practice in the

morning can set your brain up

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for success throughout the day

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and the last thing that

we're going to talk about is

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embracing power in community.

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This is a lot easier now than it was.

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Even 20 years ago.

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But ADHD people in particular often

seem to thrive when we find other

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people with our kind of brains.

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No things like mirror

neurons are oversimplified.

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And I think mostly disproved.

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But we do enjoy the energy and

the way that a neurodivergent

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conversation can travel quickly

in interesting and exciting ways.

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So making an effort to make community

with people who understand how you talk,

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who you think will have huge benefits.

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ADHD can affect our social dynamics.

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But it also can allow us to

experience a very deep connection.

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And two.

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Make friends very quickly with

people who recognize themselves in us.

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When we've spent many years feeling

like we are the only zebra in the zoo.

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When we suddenly meet

a whole bunch of them.

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It is nothing short of miraculous.

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And this is even more true.

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If you've been in a role where you are.

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Uh, solo business owner

you're in management.

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And the challenges that you experience

are not ones it's easy to share,

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given the hierarchy that operates

in most of these organizations.

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We do based in partnerships where

we are all equal, but we are

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working in our own zone of genius.

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So if you're in a

business, It's challenging.

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If you're a manager in charge of a team.

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Finding a community.

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Can make all the difference to how you

feel about things that are hard for you.

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When you recognize it.

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Oh, actually.

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Other people go through this.

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They also have ADHD and it is

harder for us for some things.

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If you're a working parent and it is

especially challenging, given many

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of us have neurodivergent children.

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Online groups can be invaluable.

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And there are some which are wonderful.

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Look for ones where the interaction

is generally positive or uplifting.

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Empathetic, but not a competition.

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You might also find it

making a peer grip at work.

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Uh, an ADHD group of buddies

can make a big difference to.

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Of course again, keep it focused on

empowerment, empathy, and support.

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And if you can make it

into a cheerleading squad.

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Those are the best groups

where we all celebrate.

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Everybody's progress.

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If you're feeling overwhelmed

by midlife changes.

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I'm here to remind you.

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You are whole capable.

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Resilient.

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Way more creative than you

give yourself credit for.

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And you can still be on a path to growth.

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Think about just one thing

you could do this week.

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To reclaim some of your power.

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And that might mean that

you ask someone for help.

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It might mean you try a new

way of organizing things.

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It might mean you have a five

minute early coffee by yourself

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where you don't do anything.

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You don't look at your phone.

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You just enjoy being.

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Oh, it might be that you meet

contact with people at work.

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And form a neuro divergent group

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whatever it is.

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Take a step forward.

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It may even be spending five

minutes doing the ADHD growth

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archetype quiz on my website.

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It's a great place to start understanding

your stage of self-awareness.

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As well as how you can take your

next steps without getting stuck.

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I'll be talking about

the different archetypes.

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Why I created it.

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What you can learn from

it in a future episode.

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And if you want to take

part in it, it's free.

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There's no obligation to anything else.

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Just go and do the quiz.

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And let me know how you get on.

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Thank you for being here today.

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It's so good to be back.

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If you have found it to be valuable.

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Please leave a comment.

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Like it, share it with a friend.

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Or if you have two minutes, leave

a review on whatever podcast

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platform you're listening.

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As always.

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Stay curious.

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S And take care of yourselves.

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