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Five reasons You Don’t See ‘The Gap’
Episode 6314th June 2022 • No Halos Here • Jane Stark & Jen Lang
00:00:00 00:16:40

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Shownotes

What is ‘The Gap’? Why is it important to see the gaps in your own experience and being?

 Listen in to this brief episode where Jen + Jane introduce you to ‘The Gap’, how becoming aware of it in their own lives has led to some interesting observations, including these five reasons you don’t (want to) see ‘The Gap’

  1. We treat our discomforts and illnesses in silos.
  2. We are conditioned to focus on the outcome, not the process.
  3. We avoid discomfort at all costs - so it’s easier to numb ourselves to these things than actually look at them.
  4. We aren’t taught to listen to our bodies.
  5. Positivity culture ignores underlying patterns, conditioning, and trauma

 

Additional Resources/Reading:

●     Listen to Episodes 56, 57, 58, and 59 to hear Jen + Jane talk about the Physical, Mental, Emotional, and Spiritual bodies they refer to in this episode.

 

Questions for further guidance:

●     Where can you identify ‘The Gap’ in your own life? In what part of your life - physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual is it most obvious? Where might you have to dig a little deeper to source ‘The Gap’?

Disclaimer:

On the No Halos Here Podcast, we explore a wide range of topics broadly categorized as well-being. We encourage you to do your own research and make informed choices about your health and wellbeing. The information we provide is never a substitute for qualified advice specific to your individual needs. In listening, you take full responsibility for implementing any suggestions shared on the podcast and you agree to indemnify us completely against all consequences arising directly or indirectly from your choices.

About Jen and Jane

Jen Lang

Jen believes in the power and wisdom of women’s voices. She’s a guide for women who want to tune into and align their inner voice so their outer voice can shine; uniting physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual energies into a powerful voice ready to share your message.

Jane Stark

Passionate about energetic alignment and living life from a place of personal power, Jane is a heart-centered leader, certified health and life coach, and marketing strategist.  She leads others to play bigger and feel lighter by helping them see and navigate their blocks and connect more deeply with themselves.

Continue the conversation:

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Community: Keep up on all things Jen & Jane: http://eepurl.com/hk31JX 

Download the Empowerment Playbook: https://www.wearejenandjane.com/playbook 


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Transcripts

Jen Lang:

This is no halos here hosted by Jen Lang and Jane Stark, the place to inspire a change in your consciousness to elevate the world. We're to heart centered business owners nourishing our inner rebels while growing our respective businesses.

Jane Stark:

No halos here is the result of bringing together an opera singer turned spiritual mentor and a marketing professional turned while being coached to meditate daily. Together we unite physical, mental, emotional and spiritual energies into a powerful presence to lead, heal and inspire. We love exploring the shadowed edges of life, the universe and beyond through honest and thought provoking conversations. Let's dive in.

Jen Lang:

Hi, everyone. Welcome back to another episode of no halos here with Jen Lang as Jane Stark. And I think

Unknown:

as usual, we'll open with

Jen Lang:

a beautiful weather report. Why not? Well, because it's that big. It's like it's June 9 today, and another atmospheric river has moved in over the Pacific Northwest and it's raining like it's November today.

Jane Stark:

Jen and I are both depressed. Yeah,

Jen Lang:

we almost did you record this today almost

Jane Stark:

didn't so yeah, it's uh, yeah, it's getting it's getting a little old. Like to tire so we're all feeling Yeah, like weather on the West Coast always seems to be a bit of a topic of conversation. But it definitely level these days. I feel like everybody,

Jen Lang:

never everyone is talking about it. You don't want to hurt the other day was that you can talk about the weather. But you can ask someone how they're doing. And they'll lie to you. But you ask them about the weather. And you'll know how they're feeling. Really, because of the way they talk about the weather.

Jane Stark:

Because, because they'll be honest. So wow, I'm really bitchy and like grumpy and cranky.

Jen Lang:

Yeah, was whenever I was irritable and crying this morning. So anyway, this is not the topic of today's podcast. However, this is the topic is five reasons you don't see the gap. And we've called it the gap. And I don't think it's really common. I'm not saying knowledge, but it's not common lingo. So maybe we should talk a little bit, but just briefly, what is the gap?

Jane Stark:

Yeah, I mean, yeah, we calling it the gap right now. But it's that it's the link between the sorts of backup for a sec, we talk a lot about the different energy bodies, yes, physical, mental, spiritual, emotional, are the four that we kind of use as the containers in our work. And I think and is a big piece of the training. Like for me, some of the training that I've done, really uses those looks at all those different containers, and, and we talk about how they all work together. But the gap that we are talking about today is how we society societally that Word, and making it up socially now in society, yeah, it's pouring rain in our language is not here. But that in society, or culturally or like our conditioning, is to look at these things in silence. Right? We don't, I mean, when you like systemically, right? When you look at all of our systems, our systems are very siloed nothing recategorized Yeah, not and they don't talk to each other and whatnot. And so, one of the things that you and I work on with people is looking at all the different layers like okay, how are you feeling physically? Like, what is your what are your, what are your physical habits? What is your sleep? What is your exercise? What is your nutrition, you know, what are you putting in and on your body in your environment. But then, we also look at the energetic body, the physical or sorry, the spiritual body and the emotional body. And we just wrapped up a whole series of an episode on each of these things as it relates to our pure serenity program. So if you want to go more into detail about what each of those is, go listen to those episodes. Will will note them in our show notes. But so this gap is sorry, my phone, forgot to turn that off today to we're just gonna

Jen Lang:

cut off whatever free flow

Jane Stark:

the gap is, sort of is this like, not being able to see how these all interplay and work together in your own life in your own life. And it's a lot of what Jen and I in our client work, help our clients see and and start to, to integrate?

Jen Lang:

Yeah, linking sort of sewing those pieces together and creating a full creating a fuller picture, I think. I think I'm going to say a more. A more comprehensive alignment between all of those energy bodies, and so you might be super fit physically, like being very mindful and aware of the foods you eat and the sleep you get. However, your emotional

Jane Stark:

If you're not able to go may not be

Jen Lang:

as in alignment with your physical awareness. And so that's where the gap is,

Jane Stark:

if we're not processing our emotions, if we can't even name them, and we're not aware of them, then yeah, we're, there's a fire we see. And some of this came up because we were talking recently about how we see in our own clients, and just in our own networks, people who are struggling, say with a physical ailment, often this shows up in autoimmune and crisis. Yeah, because, and, and I know so many people where it's like, they've changed their lifestyle, they're eating better. They're, they're moving their bodies, they're doing the thing, seeing doctors and specialists, yeah, but they're not, but they haven't processed their emotions, or there's childhood stuff or not. And so that even got hast

Jen Lang:

life, or ancestral pieces. And now the sort of the science is catching up to this, I'm going to say, broadly, the spirituality piece when it comes to ancestrally, and genetically inherited conditions that are actually more linked to emotions and a lived experience that now presents in your lifetime. So this is kind of where we wanted to start with the gap. I think we're going to be unpacking this over multiple episodes in the future. Definitely not necessarily next week. But we, you know, first of all, if you've, if we are seeing this, and you are recognizing this part of yourself and going, Oh, I don't see the gap, Oh, I haven't been seeing the gap where I never made this connection before. And you want to talk about it further, drop us an email, just say hello at we are Jen and jane.com. And we'd be happy to have a conversation with you about it. It's it's really straightforward, no pressure. And then we also wanted to provide you with a sort of a quick list of why you know why we don't see the gap. And again, as you recognize yourself in these things, don't hesitate to reach out or find us on social or if you want to sit with this for a while, then go back and listen to the first serenity episodes around physical, mental, emotional and spiritual energy bodies, that we'll get a bit more context. So these are in no particular order. And the first one we want to talk about, which Jane already mentioned was we treat our discomforts and our illnesses in silos or our experiences in silos. So you might have the best spiritual practice in the world. And maybe have

Jane Stark:

well, if you're not putting if your physical health is not, yes, if you're sitting and eating McDonald's all day, but you've had this spiritual practice and you're connecting into something higher, you're clogging the system, the energy is there's a mismatch, there's a total mismatch. You know, if you're, like we talked about like, again, systemically, right, you have a sore knee, you go to the doctor, the doctor is going to look at that knee. Actually, let's use a back as an example. Because yes, back pain is a very interesting one. And there is a lot of science and data, starting to back this up. But so yeah, you you have a sore back, you go into the doctor, they look at your back, they might look at you know, like my my husband's case, he deals with this a bit. And you know, last time he went to the doctor, the doctor was like, I think your hamstrings are tight, you need to stretch. But what we're not looking at there is we know that back pain is also very strongly correlated to emotional pain. And so there's a gap do you can do, and I mean, I've seen people, like so many people, it's like they see their chiropractor, their physio, their doctors, all of these things to look at the physical body, but then they're not. Actually, you know, what would happen if they went and saw a therapist and started to unpack some of the stuff that they're not processing,

Jen Lang:

or an energy healer or an energy like Reiki Master, I see this happen in Reiki, I see this happen. And like even when I singing students, when I would I just did straight teaching singing, they would come and I would hear them sing, and I could hear the pain and the experiences underneath their voice of the experience of their singing lessons. So there's, I could hear the gap. And so anyway, that's you get the idea, number one,

Jane Stark:

number two, go ahead and dish into focus on the outcome, not the process. Why don't you chat about this one a bit. I'm gonna chat about

Jen Lang:

this one because being a very focused person myself, I am also seeing this pattern played out in my family around me, where it was much more about the destination and checking something off, rather than the enjoyment of the journey or the process to get to that thing. And I still to this day, sometimes catch myself going. I have to just get here just to get it sometimes plays out in my driving. It sometimes plays out in just checking a box. So you know, there's all those like inspirational sayings like it's about, it's about the journey, not the destination is about, you know, yes. That's where the gap is, but if you're focused on just checking off a box, like I drank my eight ounce glasses of water today, and I walked my 10,000 steps, and I blah, blah, blah, then you're not actually engaged with the process, all you're doing is checking off a box. And so if you are fully involved in checking off the box, what else in your life is all about the if you have you cleared your plate? Or did you enjoy every bite on your plate, rather than just clearing your plate? Okay, so that's, I think that comes down to like rushing culture and stuff, you know, just have to get this done, you have to get this done in factory, like, I think it comes out of factory culture to where you have your 15 minute breaks, it's all very structured, and you have to finish your meal in 15 minutes, and then you're back on the line. Right? I think a single lot of it's died connected to that. But that plays out in how we live the rest of our lives,

Jane Stark:

which also ties into one of our other points around this about we aren't taught to listen to our bodies. So as you're saying that I'm like, there's the condition, right? Where we, when we're tied up in hustle culture, busy culture, all of that, like you say, the industrial kind of revolution time. We are, it's more about our productivity. It's not about actually listening and connecting in with our bodies, like, are we fatigued? Do we have a headache? Do we have a backache? Because we've been standing on our feet all day, and we're not taking that break. So

Jen Lang:

did you take a bathroom break? How many times have you taught yourself sitting there and not going to the bathroom? Because he just wanted to finish this document? Yeah, like go to the bathroom people. So yeah, that

Jane Stark:

gap of we're just we're totally cut off. And I mean, I've talked about this before, but this was my journey. And my, like, my health journey was like, I was living from the neck up, my body was screaming at me, and I didn't want to listen to it. So that's number three, we aren't, we aren't taught how to listen to our bodies,

Jen Lang:

we aren't which actually, sorry, finish your thought.

Jane Stark:

I was just gonna say it's something that, you know, I feel really strongly about now. I really try and bring that language in for my girls, because I was not taught that. You know, and so, finding myself at the age of 31, or whatever going like, Whoa, yeah, I'm listening, or I'm only operating from the neck up, is was really hard to unpack. And it's as simple as just like, hey, listen to your body, my daughter this morning. Like she, I guess, turned her alarm off for school and, like, slept in till 10 o'clock. And was kind of like, oh my god, like, you know, I can I totally slept in mom does it? I'm like, It's okay. It's okay. Everybody needed it. Yeah, exactly. And starting to normalize that and help. Help, you know, from that young age to be like, let's get out of this idea that because again, the system says, You need to school starts at 845. If your body needs sleep, your body needs sleep. Let's honor the body.

Jen Lang:

Which kind of leads us to that next point, which is we avoid discomfort at all costs. So it's easy to numb ourselves to these things that actually look at them in detail. And so this is I feel like this is when we go on autopilot. Or we if this would be like another facet of focused on the destination rather than the journey. So it's the Yeah, okay, so we're, I think we're hardwired to avoid discomfort, but growth happens at that edge of discomfort.

Jane Stark:

And there's lots of different reasons why, you know, we don't necessarily want to look at our own stuff. But this is the part like, on the other side of that, like you say is where the growth happens are where the shifts happen. And yet, we, yeah, it's hard. Like, I think this is like there's no sugarcoating it. Right? It's the hard work, it does feel uncomfortable. So, there's not much more to say about that. I feel that there is it's it's one of the reasons, though, that we just will not we will avoid will do anything to avoid looking at those kind of shadow sides of things, which leads into our fifth reason, which is positivity culture, ignores the underlying patterns, conditioning and trauma, right? Because, again, that discomfort, we're never we're always conditioned to look at the positive to, you know, this positivity culture of like, just think, just think just the wave. Yeah, just, you know, just put a smile on your face. It changes your whole chemistry. Yes. And

Jen Lang:

there's more to it. So, yeah, we want to, we want you to be aware that that positive positivity culture bypasses the actual underlying issue, and that's where the gap is in that positive culture

Jane Stark:

piece. You can do all of this stuff and where we hear people saying, like, I'm doing all the things I'm doing yoga, I'm doing my mantras or my affirmations like, why isn't this why do I still feel this way? Yeah, because we're not actually going to the deeper layer and integrating the piece. And again, if we Look at our society as a whole, we would much rather play and stay in these higher vibration emotions, of course of joy, happiness, ecstasy, you know, whatever they are. And yet we were human beings were designed to be the whole to feel the whole spectrum of, of emotions. And there's like when we can go and actually move through and feel those lower vibration emotions, it moves us up into the higher ones. Yeah, so

Jen Lang:

things like you have to feel it to heal it. It's like a very easy way to describe that you have to feel it to heal it. And if you're not willing to feel the uncomfortable emotions, then you're not ready to heal it. And so it's so

Jane Stark:

then that just continues to sit there and manifest under the surface. So yeah, that's our quick and dirty episode on five

Jen Lang:

reasons you don't see the gap. We hope you enjoyed it. We'll be back next week with another episode. And we are just sort of in the talk in the works right now about taking a break over the summer. So we'll be sharing some of our most memorable episodes, I think over the summer. So do stay tuned for that. And we wish you a fantastic day ahead and we will be in your ears again next week. Bye for now, I thanks for joining us for these conscious combos. If you're ready to dive deeper, head on over to Dr. Jenn and jane.com to continue the conversation.