Today, we’re diving into the inspiring journey of Dr. Erika Mateus, who transformed her life from feeling lost in Colombia to becoming a beacon of empowerment in the U.S.

She’s not just any doctor; she’s a licensed clinical social worker, author, and a transformational coach dedicated to helping others break through their internal limitations.

During our conversation, we explore how her past struggles, including the challenges of immigrating and finding her path, shaped her into the person she is today.

Join us as Erika shares her insights on the importance of emotional regulation and self-awareness in achieving true success, emphasizing that it’s not just about hustle, but about finding inner peace.

Links referenced in this episode:

1. erikamates.com
2. praxis33.com
3. breakthroughradio.com

You can connect with Erika on her website at: erikamateus.com

And on her social platforms at:

FB: facebook.com/ErikaMateusDr/

Instagram: @drerikamateus

LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drerikamateusphdlcsw

YouTube: youtube.com/@drerikamateus?si=YZVrmC3zGlLsiQZk

A Warrior’s Spirit can be found on all the major platforms at lnk.bio/daryl_praxis33 as well as on ROKU via the ProsperaTV Network app. Be sure to like or subscribe so you never miss an episode!

The music in this video is copyrighted and used with permission from Raquel & The Joshua 1:8 project © 2025 All Rights Reserved. All rights to the music are owned by Raquel & The Joshua 1:8 project © 2025 All Rights Reserved. You can contact Raquel at https://YourGPSForSuccess.Net

I've walked through fire with shadows on my heels Scars turn to stories that taught me to feel lost in the silence found in the flame now wear my battle cry without shame this isn't the the end it's where I begin A soul that remembers the fire within.

Welcome back to another episode of A Warrior Spirit, brought to you by Praxis33.

I'm your host, Darrell Snow.

Let's dive in.

Every once in a while, really special people come on my show, and I appreciate all of them.

Today I have Dr. Erica Mateus.

She's a licensed clinical social worker.

She's a PhD, an author, and a transformational coach.

And she helps high achievers break internal limitations, embody self authority, and create aligned success, personally and professionally.

She's also the author of Winning the Eight Secrets of High Achievers and the creator of the Winning Mentality, which is a transformative system that blends psychology, neuroscience, consciousness to help you turn stress, burnout, and self doubt into clarity, confidence, and emotional mastery.

And.

And I love anyone who's in psychology because that's my background.

And so, Dr. Erica Matthias, welcome to the show.

Thank you for joining.

Thank you so much for inviting me.

This is just amazing.

So thank you.

Over the years of doing my show, there's a great number of people that I've interviewed that I know either through groups or circles or inner action, and then there's a handful that I just have watched online and seen their journey.

You fall into that category.

And I've really respected what you have brought to help others, especially through your background, your psychology and your neuroscience, but also that you've started to share your personal story and your personal journey.

And the reason I respect that so much is because oftentimes, especially, you know, people see the doctor in front of your name and they think, oh, you know, she's got it all.

But in behind that got it all.

You went through it all to get there.

Right.

You know, everything wasn't unicorns and sunshine.

There was some struggles and hardships as well.

So it makes you relatable to anyone going through it.

So I just appreciate you coming here to share some of that journey with us.

Absolutely.

Thank you.

Now, your accent is not Virginian, which is where, you know, which is where you're hailing from.

So where, where are you from and what's your background?

Yeah, absolutely.

So I'm originally from Colombia, South America.

Okay.

So it's been 25 years in the US and the accent is still the same.

It doesn't go away no matter how much Effort.

I work on it, try to speak all the time in English, thinking English, processing English, the accent is what it is.

So 25 years.

And how old were you when you came to the United states?

I was 23.

Oh, well, what brings a 23 year old from Colombia to the United States?

Because usually immigration is either later in life or earlier in life.

Usually not typically in the middle of life.

So what brought you to the US.

That's a beautiful question because.

So, yes, I was no longer a teenager, but also I was not, you know, in my 30s or anything like that.

And I was lost back in Colombia.

I was lost.

I was trying so many different things, I was doing so many different things and the path wasn't clear.

So one day I woke up, I said, I need to do something, I need to work on something, because this is not taking me anywhere.

And that's when I said, why not the U.S. i mean, you know, you always, when you are in Colombia or any other third world country, you hear amazing things about the United States of America.

And I was like, that's it, that's where I'm going.

But obviously all this was with so many ups and downs.

And as I said, I was completely lost, changing things and doing so many things, and something needed to happen back then and that was it.

Do you have a big family or a small family?

I come from a very small family and my parents were divorced.

I was living with my mom.

I don't have any siblings or anything like that.

And it was just my mom and I, you know, and my aunt and my grandmother, but that's it.

That was the family.

So not a big family, a very small family, but a very big ambition, I can tell you that.

And sometimes in smaller families like that, when one of the people in the dynamics wants to leave, it causes anxiety in the rest of the family, were they very supportive of you coming to the US or were they kind of like, erica, what are you doing?

More like that.

More like, what's wrong with you?

Do you need to go to the doctor?

Like, are you thinking this throughly and carefully?

Like, what's wrong?

Especially my mom, she was in total disbelief.

Like, if you ask me, she was like in panic.

As well as my grandmother, you know, being a girl, being the only girl, the oldest in my family, the rest of my family that I have cousins, they're male cousins, not any other female.

They were always looking after me.

What the girl wants, is she okay?

All these kind of things, especially grandma.

And when I told her, hey, I'm Leaving, they were like, no, you really need to go and see a psychologist right now.

When you, when you made that decision, and I applaud you, especially as a young woman, you know, to.

What was your game plan?

Did you just throw a dart at a map and go where it landed?

Or did you, like, research some stuff out and, and, and draw?

Like, this is where I want to go.

Yeah.

So, again, I was lost.

So my future was also, you know, not very well defined.

I didn't have the tools.

I don't think I even have the mentality.

I didn't have the growth, you know, but there was something in my heart at that point in life that kept saying, hey, you really need to do something.

Okay?

So when you ask me if I have a definite purpose when I was coming, I have to be completely honest with you.

My purpose was to leave behind what it was and start something new.

What I didn't know, I didn't know what it was, but the purpose was to leave behind that version of me and find my path, you know, and you even said it.

Well, that's part of the story that I love, because that was when the 911 happened.

And I don't know if you read part of that story, but everybody was like, you can go.

It's 9 11.

Have you watched the news?

Have you done the research?

I mean, this is the third World War.

What are you going to be doing in the US and everybody was panicking.

And I was like, this is something that I have to do, even with this.

And I just follow that intuition, you know.

Well, it takes a certain amount of faith and belief in yourself that you can make it, that you can do it, that whatever your belief is, God, spirit, universe, however you define it, is going to be with you and look out for you and set a path that is clear if you just take the first steps to go.

So it takes an enormous amount of courage to do that.

And so, you know, I applaud you.

Where did you decide was going to be your first.

Where did you land?

Where?

In Miami, Florida.

That was my first place.

And how long did you stay there?

Oh, six months.

Only six months.

And then I move up to Washington.

D.C. oh, that's an interesting move.

Like, I've.

I've lived all over the United States, and I've never once said oh, Washington D.C. is where I want to go, especially during 9, 11 and all the craziness that's there.

What did you, what prompted like, that's kind of a unique landing spot.

What got you there?

So I'm from Bogota, Colombia.

Bogota is the capital.

So I'm used to, you know, to live in the city.

I'm used to traffic.

I'm used to the busyness of the capital.

So when I was in Miami, I was like, well, I'm not going to learn any English in Miami, first and foremost.

And the, the thing at that moment, once I got here, it was like communication.

I need to communicate with people if I want to be successful, if I want to find a job.

I need English, you know, I need English.

I need to blend in.

And if, if I was staying in Miami or any other state that it was just like that.

I was not going to be able to blend in and communicate and learn the culture and, you know, be part of this.

So what was better than Washington D.C. let me go to the Capitol.

That's.

That seems familiar, right?

It's the city.

I love how your brain works.

So how long did it take you once you were here and started your assimilation and your process, how long did it take you to decide that you were going to get a doctorate degree?

And I told you off camera, you know, I used to help people get their doctorate degree, so at the university I worked at here.

So I understand what that takes.

And not many people just randomly decide.

I'm going to put a doctor in front of my name.

What prompted you to go that level?

That's a very good question.

Well, I love how it sounds.

I know silly, but I have to be honest with you, you know, Dr. Erica Matthias, there was something about that, that it was always appealing, you know, And I truly believe that regardless of your motives, you have to have the desire.

So the desire needs to be so strong for you to achieve something that sometimes seems impossible to achieve.

And the doctor was like a dream.

And I was always like, there gotta be more, there gotta be more.

And by the way, always, I've been very passionate about human behavior.

I observe behavior.

I go into, you know, the mindset, humanity, the cultural approach and all this.

So it's been a topic for years.

And just, I don't know, I was always thinking, my journey doesn't stop with a master's degree.

It needs to be more than that.

What else is out there?

And then the answers weren't enough for me to understand the complexity of humanity.

And I think that's what prompted me to go into this doctorate degree and become a doctor.

And what was your thesis on?

So I studied the power of another power.

What am I saying?

Willpower.

So I. I truly believe in cognitive behavioral therapy.

That's when I go into therapy.

And willpower and the willingness to do the thing that we need to do makes me question why some people do it and why some.

Some people don't, knowing the benefits of doing the right thing.

So I went deeper into the willpower and the cognition and behavior, and I study all that, dissected it like an onion.

Like, I went so deep into this trying.

I, my, I only have a master's, but it's in psychology.

So anything in the brain, I have that same passion.

And, you know, it's funny because when I was getting my degree, I was looking at human behavior and I was thinking, it's 2,000 plus years later and we're still asking the same basic question.

Why are we here?

And what's my purpose?

Yes.

Like, the evolution of man did not put the evolution of that question out of reach.

It's still, what is my purpose?

So in a moment, we're going to take a quick commercial break, but when we come back, we're going to find out more about your purpose once you got here.

So we'll be right back.

So when did you realize the noise in your head wasn't actually your voice?

When I noticed every thought sounded borrowed.

Fear, pressure, old scripts just running on repeat.

That's why I listened to breakthrough radio.

Scripture, truth conversations that actually reset the way you think.

Breakthrough radio.

Because what you hear shapes who you become.

Listen daily.

Alrighty.

Welcome back to the show.

And we're sitting with Dr. Erica Mateus, and we're talking about her transition from lost girl in Colombia to someone who's trying to assimilate and survive and thrive in the U.S. and Erica, when you came to the U.S. now, if people look at your life online now, they'll see success and they'll see, you know, some of the things that occurred because of your dedication and your hard work.

But you didn't come to this country with a silver spoon in your hand.

Right?

Right.

Yes.

So when you arrived here, was it pretty much the clothes on your back and the money in your pocket?

Yes.

So it's so funny because I remember that day as if it was yesterday.

Okay, so this is a few months later after the nine.

Oh, no, the same month.

What am I saying?

The Same month, a few days later after the attacks.

And I was like, I remember having this big bag full of clothes, probably super old clothes, and $1,000 in my pocket.

That was everything that I have.

And that was me, you know, and I didn't have anything else when I left Colombia.

I told you, I'm coming from a very small family, by all means, I'm far away from being rich.

Back home life sometimes was difficult and, and even saving $1,000, it was like, wow, super difficult.

But for me, I was feeling rich.

Like, as soon as I got here at the airport with my bag and my thousand dollars, I was like the richest girl in the world.

And getting that money, as I said, it was so complicated.

But then in acknowledging that was like, what opened all the doors later to be who I am now, because not only I value money so much or learn how to value that money, also making it, also saving it, also spending it, and seeing other people, you know, when, when, when they're saying they don't have the means or how am I going to do this?

Okay, well, there's a way.

There's always a way, you know, but coming here with a thousand dollars that it took me so long to save, feeling like the richest girl on the planet, to conquer the United States, States of America, it was huge.

You cannot imagine.

And then once I was here, how I was going to be budgeting everything with $1,000 because nobody support me.

That was the only money.

That was it.

And I needed to work, I needed to, to find my future, to find my path, you know.

So what did you do to.

Because I've, I, I've lived out of my car.

I've been homeless.

I've sold plasma for gas money.

I've, you know, I know what it's like to live on the streets, and I know what it's like to have to work yourself out of that.

And willpower and determination is part of it.

But you also have to have some people along the path who also help you, whether give you a free meal, or in my case, they gave me a night on their couch, you know.

So did you find.

And I think that was actually a good time to come here because we were kinder as a whole to everybody for a little while, you know, after the attacks, did you find that people were willing to help you and give you some of that extra to help stretch your money and get you on your feet?

You know what, it's funny what I'm going to say, but in my mind, the way that I think Is always kind of like, everything's going to be okay.

I'm going to be taken care of.

Those are thoughts are so ingrained in my head.

Believe it or not, not just someone offering something.

It was that, okay, I can clean houses.

And if I clean houses, because that's what I did, or, you know, some of the things I did to survive, I connected with someone that it was renting me a room for cheap.

And then that person connected me to another person that I was actually looking for a receptionist.

And then I ended up working in an office.

And then once I was in an office, I was like, everything's going to be okay.

Everything's going to be okay.

And I read the whole dictionary to be able to answer the phones.

And what I'm telling you is actually the truth.

I read the whole dictionary to be able to answer the phones in English.

And I'm like, people were seeing, you know, that level of effort and discipline and commitment.

I was already, what, 24 years old maybe doing that, and every morning reading the dictionary.

And I remember the people that were showing up in my life, connecting me to one source or the other were also the ones saying, oh, but you can go to Northern Virginia Community College and start esl, English as a second language, or you can do this, and everything starts flourishing like that, you know, And I found the people, I found the believers and believe in me and my faith, and everything's going to be okay, Erica.

Everything's going to be okay.

And everything was always okay, you know, And I think.

I think mindset is part of it, because like I said, when I was living in the streets, my mindset was, I'm going to do whatever it takes to get off these streets.

I'm not going to live out of my car forever.

I'm going to pick myself.

I got myself here.

I'm going to get myself out of here.

And I, you know, and then doors opened and things happen, and I believe that God or universe, or again, whatever people want to call it, conspire to work with you when you show you're willing to work with it.

You know?

Yes.

When you give up and you throw your hands up and say, oh, this is the best it's going to be, well, then you're right.

That's the best it's going to be.

But when you dig in and say, there's more and I'm worth more, then you get more, right?

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

And by the way, your story is awesome, too.

Like, thank you so much for sharing that portion of you as well, in.

This interview, I appreciate it because I think it's important that people don't just see where we are, they know where we came from to get here.

Right?

Yes.

So it took you quite an effort to earn your doctorate.

I know that personally and I know what it takes to do thesis style writing.

And so after you did thesis style writing, you decided you're going to write another book?

Yes.

One time was not enough.

As difficult as it was, believe me, because obviously English is not my first language.

But, yeah.

So describe this book, the Winning Mentality, the Eight Secrets of High Achievers.

And I'm going to challenge you a little bit on your wording on that because I think that these secrets are not just for high achievers.

I think they're for everybody who wants to achieve anything.

I'll take the challenge.

Yeah.

So describe your book.

Yeah.

So my book, the Winning Mentality is a compilation precisely of the story that I just shared with you.

Okay.

When I came here, I didn't know anything.

I didn't know anything about personal growth.

I didn't know what I was going to do.

But there was something so deep inside of me that told me that I needed to do this.

So I follow that.

I follow the intuition.

Even when people, my mother, my grandmother, and maybe a few friends here and there were like, how crazy you are.

We can't believe that you are being you.

So I challenge all that.

And I came here and it's been the best thing I ever done in my entire life.

Okay.

So this is me, this is my life, and I will not change it for anything.

I don't regret any of it.

So that book shows exactly how I did it, what I did, and the steps that I follow.

So it's not just a book that I wrote.

After my thesis is a whole long life, 20 plus years of me thinking, how did I get here?

What was it that I did?

I mean, what is my story?

So I started with a story and then.

Oh, I put some effort into this.

Oh.

Then I thought about this and then this and this and this.

And I realized that there were eight secrets or eight steps.

Right?

And it was like so clear in my mind, they're all so clear, that I have that need to put it in writing and give this to other people because I truly believe, and I'm telling you this from the bottom of my heart, anyone, regardless of the background, ethnicity, the color, the texture, whatever you want to say, anyone, has the capacity, the gift to achieve anything they want.

And you're right, I love the Challenge about the eight secrets for high achievers.

I need to think about that, so I'll take it.

Well, it's interesting to me.

I'm always fascinated when people come here from a different country and assimilate into the culture and then just knock it out of the park, either personally or professionally, or both.

Because they had the will and the determination to actually do the work necessary.

And I look at people who were born in this country who take it for granted, who think work is a four letter word that they should never touch and they think that everything should be handed to them.

So they get an entitlement mentality and then their life stalls and flounder.

And it's always amazing to me that outside immigrants come here and just take full advantage of the opportunity to succeed because they did the work necessary to succeed.

And I applaud you for all of that.

So, you know, it takes quite a bit.

I'm going to go back to your book here.

Here's what we're talking about.

This is from some of your philosophy.

Most people think success is about motivation, willpower and hustle.

It's not.

Success is about emotional regulation under pressure and the right strategies.

Can you explain that, please?

Absolutely.

So we live in a world that is so competitive, right?

And we associate success with.

With being competitive, with the survival mode.

But in reality, when you look at that, that's not real success.

And the reason is, and that's why I'm mentioning it right there, is because you can go into any environment, but if you are super stressed out, super anxious, super depressed, if you're receiving everything from the world, taking it, processing it, and making it all yours without having the emotional regulation, the emotional inst.

And working from the inside out.

Then you continue trying and trying and trying, but the world might be collapsing in front of you.

So the real success is you learning.

Because life is never going to change and situations are going to happen, continue happening outside of you.

But the moment that you start, kind of like, okay, this is who I am.

The world is from the inside out.

This is a projection of me.

I'm mirroring myself into the world.

How can I get there?

Then you start regulating yourself with so many different tools and strategies and things that you can do to keep yourself centered, okay?

Because if you don't have that level of being grounded, things become more difficult to achieve.

So in my own story, the way that I achieved that success was by being, okay, this is happening to me.

How am I reacting to it?

Oh, I can react in this way.

I'm checking myself.

I'm becoming self aware.

I can relax, I can think about this and I move forward.

But if something is happening to me and I'm constantly reacting, reacting, reacting and postponing success.

You see what I'm saying?

So it comes with that self regulation and projecting the world from the inside out and not the other way around.

And I think a lot of people get it wrong that if they do more or hustle more, that they'll be more successful and not.

I'm speaking from 60 years of experience.

Doing more and being more and hustling more just gets you more tired because you don't give yourself any time for that self regulation, for that self reflection.

You can do way more off the hamster wheel in a focused, intentional manner than you can just always chasing and running because busy is not productive.

Busy and you know, a full calendar and always got something going on does not make you successful.

It just makes you tired.

You have to have those moments.

And that's why I love even in your, even in your transformative system, you know, this picture of you, calm is my strategy, presence is my power.

And then your website, that is so dynamic.

Like anyone who actually looks at this photo can see the calm and the power intermixed just in the presence that that photo displays.

Yes.

And I have to tell you that getting into that point, it was a journey.

Like 20 years ago when I started meditating, probably my mind was all over the place.

Like, I couldn't even sit still for like two seconds.

I was constantly thinking, thinking, thinking, thinking.

And that's where the growth comes from.

You know, Like I start quieting the mind, putting more purpose in it at that point.

Probably not understanding the connection between success and calmness.

Obviously now it's super clear, as you can see.

But everything has been evolving and developing to get to this point in which I come from the.

From my center.

I act from my center.

And when I act from my center in alignment, in total alignment, then I can be truly successful.

Okay.

Because the things that are happening to me are just happening, but I'm not reacting.

And I have the awareness and the ability to.

To separate both things and remain still in the midst of chaos.

If that's making sense.

Absolutely, it makes sense.

And I don't want to sugarcoat your journey at all because you said you were struggling without direction in Colombia.

And just because you came here with a purpose doesn't mean everything was all sunshine and rainbows.

You went through some things here as well that got you to where you are today.

Can you describe some of those struggles that you have had to still overcome?

Yes, yes, no, absolutely.

So, you know, survival mode is real.

And when you are in survival mode, you do whatever you need to do, you know, so from cleaning houses, from serving in restaurants or bars or whatever, I was just trying to find the means to survive until I was actually hired in an organization.

Organization to be the receptionist.

That's when I read the whole dictionary and learn a little bit more of English.

But then years later, I made a conscious choice to join the military as well.

And when I joined the military, I even got deployed to Afghanistan.

And when I was deploying Afghanistan, a lot of things started happening that made me actually think about my journey, think about my path, and get even closer to my belief that you can achieve peace mentally.

You know, that is an energy that comes from within.

And all this, all these obstacles or decisions that I was making were by all means super difficult.

And I questioned myself, why am I doing all this?

You know, from one thing to the other, not having the stability, not having the control that I wanted back then.

But then I realized, and this is the thought that it was actually very awakening for me being in Afghanistan.

One day I got in a position of helping other people, you know, that they were very emotionally distressed.

And that's when I was like, huh, let me.

Let me think about this.

That was the aha moment.

So it was difficult, very challenging.

And then I have this aha moment.

What if my calling is to work directly with people, support them, you know, help them develop my inner peace and calmness of the mind, study consciousness and give this to people?

So all this happened in Afghanistan.

And when you asked me about the obstacles, because not everything was sugar coated, you're absolutely right.

It was one thing after the other.

Probably still lost in translation, I knew that I was here.

This was my end goal.

Blending in with the culture, learning the language.

But still, I didn't know anything until I joined the military.

I was taken to Afghanistan, and in the middle of something crazy, I was like, ah, booyah.

This is why it makes sense now, you know?

And I was already in my 30s.

And that's when I said, I'm going to study social work.

I'm going to become a clinical social worker, mid-30s, Daryl.

And here you are now transforming lives and helping people because you have gone through your own journey to understand what it takes to transform a life.

You didn't just find success, you found your path.

And you said it was in Afghanistan that you had your aha moment.

But when did you actually feel the transformative peace that you had been seeking which caused you to leave your home country in the first place?

You're making me think about that now because I don't think in my journey, it was just one day that I was able to flip the story or to change the story.

I think that in my own perspective, it was developing, constantly developing.

But why?

Because, again, remember my mindset, my initial immature mindset, it was, everything is going to be okay.

And I've been repeating that ever since I was maybe 8 years old.

Everything's going to be okay.

I don't know what everything is, I or means, but that's the mantra.

And I think from there it's been developing, you know, and is being about being in alignment.

Now, when you ask me about what it is now, I can tell you exactly what it is.

And it is being here about who you are, what you want.

But obviously we never stop.

Kind of like knowing ourselves completely or knowing others is a constant journey.

But that clarity is what helps you.

And, and I, I'm going to use the word that, that you've been using is being in alignment.

Like, this is my purpose.

This is my thing.

And because I think this, I say this, and I feel this, I am in, in, in Holy Spirit, in alignment with the Holy Spirit, if that makes sense.

Absolutely.

To me, it does.

We, I, I, I swim in the spiritual pool.

So all of that, all of that makes perfect sense to me.

So, you know, my wife is a spiritual healer, and, and I am passionate about spirituality, so all of that makes makes perfect sense how I, I, anyone who can visually see what we're doing, those who are listening to it on, on audio can't.

But anyone who can visually see what we're doing can see this big shiny rock that you keep on your left hand.

How did you meet the person who gave you that big, shiny rock?

Oh, my gosh.

Oh, he's gonna be thrilled about this.

Okay.

Yes.

So my sweet, amazing husband, he, he's in the military, and we met when I get out of the military.

So I was in the army.

I was stationed at, in Fort Hood, and he was in the Air Force back in that time.

And I came back from India, I live in India, and I was doing a lot of, you know, soul search and all this kind of things.

And Eat, Pray, Love, journey.

Absolutely, yes.

No, I went to Himalayas and met with a monk and, you know, been.

And when we met, oh, it was like, wow, this is the love of my life.

What in the world?

What am I missing girl here.

It took me a while to get him kind of like, hey, I'm the girl for you.

But two years later, he was like, I can't live without you.

And this is it.

Nice.

Well, congratulations.

And how did you entice him that you were the girl since you already knew that he was the guy?

Good question.

You know, you're not going to believe this, but I kept saying, everything's going to be okay.

Everything's going to be okay.

And I even told him when he was panicking, I was like, but everything is going to be okay.

And you can ask him and he will say, Erica used to say that let's go with the flow.

Everything's going to be okay.

I love that.

See, all good things do happen if you do the work right.

You put in the effort to pursue and you got the rewards.

Yes, yes.

And I don't know if you.

This is part of your beliefs or if you've been in touch with this kind of information, but, you know, the power of the mind in combination with a strong faith in God and belief gives you everything that you want.

So, obviously in my marriage, not everything has been rainbows and butterflies.

I want to be very authentic and very honest about this, but I always knew that he was the right person.

And we're growing, you know, together, learning from each other.

And I think that when you have that certain, a lot of things that start happening.

And you, you, you fight for being together because you have two choices.

You either single or you are with someone.

But both things are difficult.

You know, if you're single is difficult, at some point you want company.

And if you're with someone all the time, somebody, some days you want to be single.

And like, how my life will be.

My wife and I, you know, We've been together 11 years now, and you know, we've both openly said we love each other immensely with beyond our person, but there are days where we don't really like each other.

Like, and anyone who's been married understands that that's the dynamics of being married.

But you choose each other, and you choose each other daily, and you choose each other in spite of the differences and you work to make it work.

Absolutely, yes.

And as I said, you have the choice.

But every choice in life will have good side effects or good consequences and bad consequences.

So which one, which battle do you want to fight?

Right.

Yep.

What's your choice?

Yeah, I used to say that exact same thing to my children.

Everything you do has a consequence.

You get to choose whether it's good or bad.

Exactly.

And I'm not sure if you're familiar with Dr. Joe Dispenza.

Oh, yes, yes, absolutely.

My wife and I follow his and I love that he's a scientist who, he's a neuroscientist that embraces the spiritual side, you know, and he complements them both.

But he is definitely someone who believes in the power of the mind and you know, what you can do with your mind.

And it's fascinating to me, you know, anyone who studies neuroscience, which you have, our brain's only job is to make you right.

So if you're feeding it negative and crap, it's going to make that part of you right.

If you're feeding it positive outcomes and everything's going to be okay, it's going to help make that right.

Now, to me, there's a difference between positive toxicity and being positive.

You know, to me, if you're toxic, positive means that you just think everything is sunshine and rainbows.

Whereas just being positive means that there's a problem, but there's also a solution.

And to me there's a huge difference.

So when people come to you, whether it be through the social work or through the internal limitations or, you know, to help align them with the success, what's your starting point?

Where do you jump in to help them figure this part out?

Beautiful question.

So I always start from where the client is.

It's not my journey.

It's not what I think is right for them, is where they are in life.

Because you have to understand.

And you said something that is so real about Dr. Joe Dispenza.

The brain, our brain is plastic, is neuroplasticity.

Right?

So everything we see and we perceive, we kind of like we process us as information because everything is information.

So we get the coding and we go into our brain and decode the information and create meaning about whatever it is that we're experiencing at that moment.

Okay, so if you, and to answer your question, hopefully I'm not going into something else.

But if you start from where you think the client should be, then you're already having bias and then you're already imposing you, your energy, your beliefs and your things into the client.

And if you really want to create a long lasting change and if you really want to create a very good relationship with the client client, and if you, and if the client obviously is participating enough, then giving them the freedom to say where they are in terms of beliefs, ideas, thoughts, feelings, whatever that is to create this safe space in which you're not affecting and you're not influencing their decisions.

Again, because the brain is plastic, and the brain is constantly absorbing information from the environment.

So that's my starting point, always where they are, what they want.

As a transformation coach, something I've done for a long period of time that was a big mistake that I made a lot early on, is I always saw them where I saw their potential to be instead of where they were.

And then I would get frustrated that they wouldn't match their own potential.

And fortunately, I've, you know, overcome that and healed my own thought process to now meet them where they are, which is very hard work.

And one of the things that we learn as professional coaches is it's not our job to fix somebody.

And that was a really tough concept for me to embrace as someone who's always been a fixer my whole life, you know, to understand that it was not my job nor my responsibility to fix you.

My job was to help guide you.

And as good teachers say, it's not my job to tell you what to think.

It's my job to tell you where to look so you can think for yourself.

And I think, you know, and that.

I think that happens in relationships too, where one person comes in and tries to fix everything for the other person, and that causes more of the heartache and, you know, arguing than it should.

Knowing how to meet someone where they are is a skill set that many of us bypass and forget.

We just think we're there to help and fix.

So again, the fact that at your young age, you have embraced that and understand that you're light years ahead of many of us.

So kudos to you.

Thank you.

It's been a journey, believe me, because, I mean, there's.

There's been times in which I know exactly what you were saying.

Like, I know that person has a lot of potential.

Like, come on, we can do this.

You know, like, come on.

And you really want to give them all the ideas and give them all the solutions and tell them what to do, but that's not how it works, because everybody level of consciousness is different.

The fact that you and I are awakening to this or feel more awake into something doesn't mean that he or she are experiencing the same thing.

And one of the biggest things that I have learned in my career is that we're constantly affecting other people, energetic still, right?

Like, we're constantly reacting and telling them how to think, what you do, how not to do it, even if we don't say anything.

We're role modeling, you know, and the biggest thing, the biggest thing for any single human being on the planet is to be impartial, unbiased, and allow the other person to be whatever they want to be and to express their consciousness, their soul, their divinity.

Divine.

Well, I don't know how to say that.

Yeah, yeah, your divinity.

Sure.

Your divinity as a self expression, you know, and it goes back.

I don't know if we're getting too philosophical here, but it goes back to what you were saying, the meaning and purpose of life, and the meaning of purpose of life into self expression.

Because we, we are divine people.

We have a gift.

And when you start kind of like having your opinion, your influence and all these kind of things onto someone, you change that magnetic field or you change that freedom of expression.

You see what I'm saying?

Oh, absolutely.

Yeah.

And I don't think on this show we can never get too deep or too philosophical.

It's, it's all, it's all good.

I'm curious, as you're saying that when did your mother and your grandmother embrace your own journey to give you that sovereignty?

Or have they.

Do they still think you're crazy to be in America?

And, you know, especially then when you go in the military, they're like, what, Erica, what are you doing?

How did I raise you?

What happened?

Right.

Where did I fail God?

You know, poor, poor people.

Oh, I love them, but they were thinking, like, where was my mistake?

But when did they embrace your sovereignty to make those type of choices and decisions?

Especially because you didn't leave with a clear path.

You left.

Still kind of floundering.

Yes.

So.

So when did they say, she's got this.

Yes, I think, I think that it was when out of the blue.

And again, working from, you know, a restaurant or serving tables or cleaning houses, I actually got offered to be the receptionist.

You know, not that it means more status or anything, but maybe in their mind it meant stability.

And they were like, oh, okay, so maybe there's something going on here.

But that was their own interpretation.

For me, I was still so far away from who I wanted to be.

But that's when they were saying, okay, so she got this, okay, let's see where she goes.

H. A receptionist with no English.

That's weird.

Reading the dictionary.

And Daryl, let me tell you, the struggle was real.

If I tell you I got phone calls from this important people and I was like, can you repeat your name?

And they will tell me their names here in Washington D.C. and I'm like, the accent was so difficult.

And I'm like, can you repeat, please?

And people were so nice.

Like, I never, never.

I'm telling you this.

I never got someone getting upset.

They were actually.

I don't know, I think it was divine intervention that they were always like, okay, M as a Mary, A as an apple.

They probably weren't as nice when they hung up the phone.

They probably.

What the heck is that person?

That's why three months later, of being a receptionist, one day my boss came and he said, erica, we really need to talk.

And I said, yes, yes.

What's going on?

You know, serious, like, owning the game.

The receptionist of the business.

And he's like, I think you deserve a promotion.

And I said, yeah, do what?

Payroll?

And I was like, yes, payroll.

I can't believe you don't have to talk to anybody.

Years later, I understood his intention, but at that moment, I was like, yes, accounting girl, right?

Yeah, exactly.

He said, never again.

You're never going to answer the phones again.

I'm losing businesses here.

That's hilarious.

So who is the Dr. Erica Mateus today versus who Erica was 10 years ago, huh?

Calmer, independent, of course, very independent now.

More than what I used to be, a thinker, a thoughtful person, analytical, ambitious, is still very ambitious, you know, but it's a combined.

Ambitious.

It's not just the financial portion.

It's also the spiritual portion, the loving portion, the calmness portion is more holistic, you know, understanding life or what it is, helping others, that kind of ambition of helping society, being meaningful to this moment in life.

So I think that's very different from who I was 20 years ago, because 20 years ago when I came here, I was not thinking about helping anybody.

So for myself, I was like, oh, I'm gonna do it.

I'm gonna be doing this.

So I was selfish, naive, I was lost.

And now, yes, I. I embody all this, but I give all this to you.

So it.

And.

And.

And I think that is this Erica now, like, I'm giving everything that I know to you because I believe in you.

Twenty years ago, no against me surviving.

So if someone came to you, and whether they're an immigrant or non immigrant, but they're still floundering, trying to find their path.

And they said, erica, you did it.

What's my first step to doing it?

Because everything's going to be okay.

Sounds great as a Hallmark card.

But to embrace it and embody it is something differently.

So how do I get started doing that?

Right?

That's a beautiful Question, Darrell.

And I think the first thing, the first ingredient to this recipe is the desire to do something.

If you don't have desire, then.

And desire could be a lot of things, okay?

And desire could be wanting to be better, wanting to do better, wanting to grow, wanting to be healthier, whatever desire is, okay?

If you're complacent and subtle, nothing is going to change, right?

Because you're complacent, you have it all.

You feel okay?

But when you have the desire, how life will be.

If I was healthier, you know, if I wouldn't have lower back pain every day, or knee pain or headaches every day, that right there is the first ingredient to create change.

I think.

I believe and I think it doesn't.

And again, this is philosophical, but every thing in life starts with a decision, which is a desire.

I don't care if it's the painting behind you or the jacket you're wearing or this platform that we're on, Everything started with a desire to create it.

And even if that's inner peace, even if that's centeredness, even if that's a better life, it starts with a desire to create that.

And then the universe will conspire to help you with your desire.

So I think that's a great starting point for everybody.

And so what does Dr. Erica Mateus, what does she want her legacy to be?

My legacy is the winning mentality.

Okay.

And why do I call it the winning mentality?

Because if today is the last day that I'm here on Earth, and it's the only thing that you're gonna ever heard from me is to say your beliefs creates your reality.

You change your beliefs and you change your life.

But it starts with the winning mentality.

If you don't have the winning mentality, you're not gonna get where you want to go.

And that will be my legacy.

Like, you can start creating and having and living this life with no desire, with not willingness to do the thing, with the complacency of life being settled in, it's fine if it's happening to me.

So those will be my last words.

If today was my last day and this is my last interview, I'll tell you, wake up.

The winning mentality is here.

It's your beliefs, your mindset.

The world is yours.

Well, I'm going to give you one more last word.

Beyond that, I'm going to ask you, what does a warrior spirit, or having a warrior spirit mean to Dr. Erica Mateus?

Well, that is kind of like the brother and sister of the winning mentality, overcoming, you know, overcoming the challenges and not allowing adversity to take you away from your path.

Because adversity is going to happen all the time.

Challenges, obstacles, people, all these kind of things.

So when I look at the warriors of spirit as having that winning mentality within you and embracing and embodying that with a feeling, with a purpose and with a desire, that's what it is to me.

Well, I think you embody that wholeheartedly.

And I just appreciate you coming here to, to share some time with me and share your journey and, you know, I'll continue to follow your success and I'll grab your book and, and start, you know, that winning mentality as well.

So thank you for doing this today.

Absolutely.

Darrell, thank you for inviting me.

I really, really appreciate it.

And if you'd like to get a hold of Erica, you can do so on her website, ericamates.com and on her social platforms, Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn and YouTube.

And as always, thank you for joining us on this edition of A Warrior Spirit.

Be sure to like or subscribe so you catch all the episodes.

You can tune in on all the major platforms as well as on Roku via the Prospera TV app.

And remember, the journey is sacred.

The warrior is you.

So be inspired, be empowered, and embrace the spirit of the warrior within.

It's not just about the fight.

It's how we rise from it.

Sam.