I want you to hear this out loud and clear. This is your birth and you do not. Anyone an explanation. So in today's episode, I'm gonna be breaking down why your birth plan's a guide, a map, not a contract, and why Changing Your mind is your empowerment, right? Not failure, and how to own your decisions without guilt.
So let's get into it.[:
Okay, so here's what we're gonna talk about, and I feel like this is so important and rarely talked about. So what we're gonna talk about tonight is changing your mind. You know, you have put all of this, education and, and you've written out your birth plan, and you've told everybody who will listen what you're doing during your birth.
Then you get into your birth. And you change your mind. And what I see a lot is a lot of moms struggle with so much guilt and like this sense of embarrassment. And, and if any of you guys are on here who have experienced this, please drop your stories and tell me if you created a birth plan, if you were like, gung-ho, I'm gonna do this during my birth.
at as well. So. Just a quick [:
And then they feel like even when they're explaining their birth story to us inside of our membership or inside of our pregnancy hangouts or postpartum hangouts, when they're explaining their birth story, there's this like. Oh, I ended up getting an epidural and there's like this like negative thing to it, this negative vibe.
Or maybe here's another one that I hear. Maybe you're like, I am absolutely not letting my baby go to the nursery. And then you have your baby and you're like absolutely exhausted and you're like, I. Feeling guilty because you want to ask the nurses if you can have them take the baby to the nursery, but you're thinking, gosh, I'm a horrible mom.
g my baby the first night. I [:
And I don't even want you to do that to you. Like this is so important and we have this inner critic inside of us that's always telling us we're wrong or we're making the wrong choice. We're not doing the right thing. Hi Gracelyn. And then I've got,
aubrey who always wanted to unmedicated his spontaneous birth, but now having to talk to my doctor about a possible induction if I go to 42 weeks, definitely hard and feeling sadness, maybe not shame that it's different. You know what though? We're not there yet, girl. We need some have lots of sex nipple stimulation.
tually did a reel about this [:
Okay. And here it's Crystal. She said I wanted an unmedicated at birth was induced, and after hours of contractions I asked for the epidural and I didn't feel guilt, but I did feel disappointed, right? So here's what I want you guys to know, and I, and I say this inside of my courses all the time. You get to make the choices.
walk through those and it's [:
They can live there at the same time. So I want you guys to remember that your birth plan, and why we call it a birth map is because. It's a map, right? And it's important for setting intentions. It's important for educating yourself, and the power is not in your birth map. The power is inside of you. You, you are the one that gets to make those decisions.
You get to change your mind as well. You don't, you're not married to your birth plan. Your birth plan is a map, and I call it a map because if you were going on this fancy vacation, right, and you booked your tickets and you're leaving at five 30 in the morning, you've got your Uber booked and Uber doesn't show up, you're not gonna be like.
you're not gonna cancel your [:
I'm gonna take a taxi. See your birth experience is the same way. You need to be educated. You need mean knowledge. You have to know your options. And I always say, if you don't know your birth options, you don't have any. But those are your options. That's why you need to know them. So you're not bullied, you're not coerced, you're not like forced into something.
You are the power. So if you [:
You're gonna do things you don't think you wanna do. Now with your babies as a parent, you're gonna do things that you said you'll never do. Pregnancy and children change things, okay? Birth is unpredictable, but true empowerment means that you are the one who is navigating the choices. And if you change your mind, that is okay.
That is okay. Just like I said, you stay flexible because you're knowledgeable and you are able to pivot and do things differently. And honestly, the biggest critic that you're gonna face is the one that's up here. And so I really want you guys, you know, this is why we have our MAMA membership. So when you join my classes, you get 30 days free in Calm Mama Society.
postpartum hangouts, we have [:
One of them is accepting this new version of you. 'cause you're gonna be different. You will be so. Here's common reasons that I see that moms change their mind. So the first one would be pain management plans. You know, maybe you planned unmedicated, you decide you want epidural, or maybe you planned an epidural and you end up not being able to get one, and you end up going, you know, natural or unmedicated.
nding when it's appropriate, [:
The next thing would be medical interventions. Like I tell my mamas all the time. Don't ever say, I would never blank because if you're in your, birth, your baby's heart rate is down, you're gonna be like, yes, use the vacuum or yes, do an epi episiotomy if it's needed in those situations. And if that's what's needed, that's what's needed.
That's why we have the interventions. That's why you have to understand when and why, when they are appropriate and when they're just out of convenience. The other thing is you may change your mind just. Based on your instinct. Like you may be like, I am gonna labor at home, I'm gonna lay at home for a long time, and then I'm gonna go in at the last minute.
Nail this in. You do not owe [:
I lay it out like a smorgasbord or like a buffet, and you get to pick and choose because I also don't wanna be someone who is pressuring you. I want you to know your options so that you can choose for you. That is your birthright. Okay? So have like a phrase or something ready to shut people down. So if you are worried about a choice that you made that maybe your mom or your grandma or your mother-in-law or someone's going, your sister is going to guilt you on, just have a phrase like, you know, I made the best choice for us.
And that's what matters. Something simple. You don't owe explanations and then walk through the guilt. I wouldn't ignore it. Walk through the disappointment. Process those emotions and allow yourself freedom from that because you're probably gonna be your biggest critic. Your baby wants to just be with you, right?
got an epidural or not, your [:
Okay, mama, remember this, this was a nice little shorty episode, but your birth is yours. You do not need to justify, you don't need to explain. You don't need to defend your choices to anyone. Whether you stick to your plan or you change your mind in the moment, that is your choice. You are in control. You are powerful, and you are enough, and you are capable.
If you're looking for a supportive space to ask questions, get expert guidance, and connect with other moms who get it, come join us inside A Calm Mama Society. I cannot sing. Its praises enough. It's only $19 a month. You'll have access to pregnancy hangouts, postpartum hangouts, expert workshops. And a tribe of mamas who will have your back every step of the way.
