Ghia – I’m tired of falling forward. This fall, I’m changing the narrative and moving forward deliberately day by day, with confidence that God is leading my path.

Hooray.

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Kia here.

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I'm this week's host of the

creative, spiritual journey podcast.

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Where Judy and I talk about

those things that bring us joy.

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For me.

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I find joy by connecting with nature.

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Connecting with Jesus Christ

and our heavenly parents.

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Seasonal living and all those

bits of magic and wonder I come

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across while navigating this

remarkable journey we call life.

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It's October.

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This time of falling leaves is obviously

where we got the name fall for the season.

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But the word fall is used in so

many different ways in our life.

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We can have a waterfall.

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Uh, rockfall a windfall.

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We can fall flat.

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Fall in line fall from grace,

fall short or fall in love.

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Today.

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I want to talk about falling forward.

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Have you ever heard this idea before?

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It's the idea of embracing failure,

learning from it and using the

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knowledge to move forward more

successfully in the future.

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It's the idea that Reggie Jackson struck

out in baseball over 2,600 times, but

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still held the world record for home runs.

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Or that Thomas Edison conducted a

thousand failed experiments before

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he came up with the light bulb.

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It's the idea that while a baby

is learning to walk, we cheer

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at every step she takes instead

of lamenting over every fall.

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This idea of celebrating small

wins is an important concept.

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And it reminds me that I've been

thinking I should explain why I always

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begin my podcast by saying her re.

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That her Ray is a genuine,

heartfelt emotion.

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I am celebrating that.

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I finished writing another

podcast and got it recorded.

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And actually get to share it with you.

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When I first learned the importance

of celebrating, I realized that

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I hadn't truly celebrated hardly

anything in my life for years.

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And I made a conscious effort to change.

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I began celebrating everything.

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I had a good poop, her re I finished

the dishes, Hooray I was out of bed.

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Hooray.

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Whatever good thing I did.

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No matter how small, I tried

to see it as an accomplishment.

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And I celebrated it with

an exclamation of joy.

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And yes, sometimes it felt forced,

but the more I did it, the more I

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actually experienced the feeling.

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And I believe it tells

my body that all as well.

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That I am in a good place.

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And replaced the constant feeling

of stress that I have fed my body

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on a continual basis in the past.

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I didn't write her re in my first podcast.

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It just came out naturally.

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So I have chosen to keep it as my

I don't know my little trademark.

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But no, while I've gotten better

at celebrating, I'm still working

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on the idea of falling forward.

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This falling forward concept

reminds me of one of the most famous

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stories in the book of Mormon.

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And that is of Neefa.

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Retrieving the brass plates from Laban.

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Here's how I see him falling forward.

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The first time Neefa goes to Laban.

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He simply asks for the plates

and he fails and getting them.

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But was that a complete failure?

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I don't think so because

he finds layman's house.

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He goes inside.

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He learns where things are overall.

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He gets a lay of the land.

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He didn't do any of this intentionally.

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It was simply a result of trying

something, anything to get started.

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It seems to me, this failed attempt

may be why on his next attempt Neefa

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brings valuables from his family

home in order to buy the plates.

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While in layman's house the first

time did ni find notice maybe

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that Laban had expensive tastes.

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Possibly right.

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Regardless.

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His second attempt seems to

fail disastrously as Neefa is

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forced to flee for his life.

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Leaving behind all the

precious belongings.

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But was it a complete failure?

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Have you ever asked yourself why Laban

got drunk that night so drunk that

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he was falling down in the street?

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Of course, I have no idea.

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But I suspect Laban got drunk

because he had a windfall.

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He got a boatload of valuables for free.

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Do you think he felt like

celebrating, Like buying around for

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all his friends being magnanimous.

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Is that why Nifae found Laban

passed out in the street?

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Ultimately allowing him to

obtain the brass plates.

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Once again, I can't say, but

in my humble opinion, This is a

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great story of falling forward.

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Neefa appears to have learned

from his failed attempts and

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taken the next best step.

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Now the trick for me is learning how to

apply this lesson to my circumstance.

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To be honest.

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I feel like I've been falling

forward for my whole life.

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I'm 58, not a young man.

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Like Neefa.

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I'm tired of falling forward.

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Can't I feel for once, like I have

reached my goal or succeeded at something.

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Now I know I have succeeded

at a lot of things.

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I have rode the biggest

whitewater in north America.

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I have climbed the tallest mountain

in the continental United States.

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And in my opinion, I have

successfully raised one of the most

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fabulous women in the whole world.

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But despite all of this, I have

felt a yearning to do something.

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Felt like there was

something more for my life.

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Something that my talents were

specifically designed for.

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This is how I have felt

for the last 40 years.

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I have tried creating a crafting

business, which flopped.

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I went back to school and got a

graphic design certificate, which

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only provided short term work.

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Then I thought maybe I

could become a writer.

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So I wrote two novels, which sadly I

have never professionally published.

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Each time and my opinion, I have

failed at reaching my goals.

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And each time I have reluctantly

gotten up and move forward again.

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Recently Judy suggested we put

up a prayer meditation course.

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I was scared, but I refuse to

shy away from something hard.

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So I jumped in with both feet.

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We put up a website, we put up a course.

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And then the state started

having technical difficulties

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and Judy went on a mission.

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So we took the whole thing down.

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Now duty and I have a podcast.

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Is this it.

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Is this what I've been

looking for my whole life.

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Is this what I'm supposed to do?

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Now, let me say that through each

of the aforementioned attempts.

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I have prayed to know if

this was God's will for me.

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Was this how I was

supposed to spend my time.

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Through all my efforts at learning

how God speaks to me, I have always

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felt some degree of confirmation.

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Still, I never reached my goals.

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Which leads me to where I am today.

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It's fall here in the Northern hemisphere.

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And the idea of writing a podcast

about falling forward, came to mind.

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And I thought really.

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I can't talk about falling forward.

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I've never reached a goal.

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I've never completed the 1001

experiments leading me to success.

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So I tried to dismiss the falling

forward idea from my mind.

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Then on a Sunday morning, a few

weeks ago, I decided to play

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biblio Mancy with my hymnbook.

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Do you know what that is?

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It's where you let the book fall open

to any page and see what you find.

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And this is most often

done with the Bible.

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But I have taken to doing it on

Sunday mornings with my hymnal.

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So on this morning, just a few days after

my falling forward debate, I came across

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a hymn and titled lead, kindly light.

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I didn't remember the tune at first.

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So I just began reading the words.

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And they thumped my chest with

an answer to my questions.

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My questions of is this

what you want me to do?

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Will this finally lead me to success.

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Can you hardly wait to

hear what I discovered?

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All the words of the hymn are poignant.

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But the one line that spoke

to me was keep them my feet.

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I do not ask to see the distance

scene one, step enough for me.

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I've been asking all these years,

if my plan was going to lead me

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to some distant accomplishment.

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This him helped me to see, I only

need to know what I should do today.

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I only need the next step.

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Knowing God is directing my path.

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I can keep falling forward

indefinitely with confidence.

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As I pondered these words, I wondered

who the author was and what in this

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person's life led them to this conclusion.

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This realization that they

only needed the next step.

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This realization that I needed.

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So I looked it up.

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Let me share what I found.

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The author was John Henry Newman.

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Newman was originally an Anglican

priest that converted to Catholicism

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and was eventually canonized as a Saint.

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In 1833 as a young priest

traveling in Italy, he got sick.

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Likely with typhoid fever.

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And suffered both physically

and emotionally for weeks.

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During this time he wanted nothing

more than to return home to England,

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where he felt God had a work for him.

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Eventually he found passage on a small

boat and thought he would soon be home.

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But it wasn't to be.

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The boat was beset by calm and thick fog.

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With hazardous cliffs

threatening the vessel.

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It was forced to sit.

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Four days waiting for

the weather to clear.

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It was in these dark, damp and

lonely conditions that Newman

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penned the words of his him.

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Have you ever been becalmed.

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I grew up sailing with my

family, to the channel islands

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off the coast of California.

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We were never truly becalmed

because we had a motor.

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But I distinctly remember being

surrounded by heavy white fog.

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This generally happened in the mornings.

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Prompting my dad to fire

up the diesel engine.

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But between the fumes and the

rolling waves, I would get seasick.

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It was horrible.

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I love being out on a boat when the

wind is up and we are under sail and

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the waves are crashing over the bow.

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That is a blast.

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But those foggy mornings were misery.

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In fact, despite loving the ocean to

this day, I avoid sea going vessels,

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unless there is some adventure.

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I absolutely can't resist.

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So I can relate to Newman's experience.

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I know my own form of foggy misery.

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Here's what's interesting.

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It's wonderful that Newman

was able to take this bad

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experience and learn from it.

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But I found myself wondering if he was

actually able to apply the lesson he

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had learned to the rest of his life.

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So I dug more into his history and I came

to believe that miraculously, he was.

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He converted to Catholicism because

it was the closest religion he

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could find to the truth he believed

was held in early Christianity.

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He converted, despite the likely outcome

of being rejected by friends and family.

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It seems to me, he took this next step

in his life, regardless of the future.

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That's what I want to live each

day to the best of my ability,

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regardless of where it leads.

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I don't expect this new plan of taking

things one day at a time to be easy.

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I have a lifetime of habits to change.

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But taking things one day

at a time is my new goal.

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Something to be mindful of.

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Something that just might change my life.

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Don't get me wrong.

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This doesn't mean I won't plan

for the future and it doesn't

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mean I'm not going to set goals.

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It just means for me.

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And my life right now.

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I don't want to worry that I might

be wasting my time or worrying

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that I'm not on the right path

or that I'm not good enough.

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I'm just going to trust that

I will be guided day by day.

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So my goal is to fall forward one day, one

step at a time, knowing I am on a journey.

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My God is directing.

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It doesn't matter if I can't

see the end or if I reach it in

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this lifetime, it only matters.

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That I am moving forward.

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As Proverbs says, trust in

the Lord with all thine heart

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and he will direct thy paths.

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Is this podcast.

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The thing that God has been leading me to.

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I have no idea.

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And you know what?

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I am relieved to finally learn.

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It doesn't matter.

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I am doing the best I can

today, because just like you.

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I am a beloved daughter of heavenly

parents and I hold any eternal destiny.

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Judy and I know your time is precious

and that you have many choices.

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We love that you have chosen to

walk with us for a few minutes.

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As we talk about the joys, we

have found along this journey.

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If you liked this podcast, thank you in

advance for sharing it with a friend.

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We love reaching new people.

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It keeps us going.

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And remember if you haven't

fallen forward, you haven't tried.

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Nama stay.