Rob and Hash talk the logistics of pooping in space, pain avoidance, Tik Tok, and Rob wants to know where Skrillex is.

0:36

You got your beverage?

0:38

I had to get to the fridge. You'd go to the fridge

0:41

Darb

0:42

go

0:43

Darb. Let's see if this works. Bring this closer...

0:50

Rara. Okay.

0:52

There ya gar.

0:54

Okay, Two more. Two more seconds. Two more sextants.

1:06

Does it work?

1:07

There ya go.

1:08

Oh, oh wow,

1:09

that's nice.

1:10

I'm a new man.

1:12

Look at that. Look at all right you got going on there?

1:15

Some kind of cocaine in my ears.

1:18

It's like a drug.

1:22

I just watched Clockwork Orange.

1:26

Oh, dude, what? Really?

1:28

No in a good while in a good while.

1:30

Oh, I thought you meant like the first time I was like damn,

1:34

No no

1:34

Its never too late though it's never too late.

1:36

It's a good movie.

1:38

It's a great movie. And it's fucked up. It's so fucked up.

1:41

It's very fucked up. But the accents. I like watching things and just like ignoring all content and just listening.

1:49

Yeah, classic.

1:51

Yeah, that's great.

1:53

Dude. The giant dick statue getting smashed into the guy's skull or whatever.

1:58

The girls, the gal's skull like. Yeah.

2:00

Or yeah, yeah. Oh my God, dude.

2:02

Yeah. He's just prodding her with it.

2:04

Oh my god,

2:05

The point of view camera.

2:07

It's so disgusting. I fuckin watched that when I was like, 18. And I was like, ah!

2:14

yeah, the first time I watched it.

2:15

The Horror!

2:16

17 high on mushrooms.

2:18

Oh,

2:19

So now I'm thirty --

2:21

God.

2:21

Yeah. Now I'm 32. And I was like, Okay, let's do this.

2:24

What was your impression? What was the difference in your impression now? As an adult?

2:31

Well, sorry.

2:33

How dare you?

2:34

I am Belchin of descent. And I may or may not edit that out. But

2:37

oh my god

2:38

I just might have to keep that in.

2:39

Oh, my God.

2:41

Well, my perception as an adult is -

2:44

An adult.

2:45

As an adult.

2:46

Yeah,

2:47

would be that. Wes Anderson really likes Stanley Kubrick.

2:54

What?

2:55

Yeah,now that being said,

2:56

you gotta elaborate.

2:57

Oh, just, uh, he it seems like he took a lot of inspiration from it -

3:01

Interesting.

3:02

- in his cinematography, Kubrick was just a genius when it came to his like, cinematic perspective, and symmetry and things like that, which is a lot of things that it seems like Wes Anderson focuses on in his movies or in his artistic direction of his movies.

3:17

He loves that shit.

3:19

Yeah, so that was one thing I thought about. That being said, dialogue is really good. It's really dark in a lot of areas, but it is definitely, like highlighting some aspects of society. That, you know, I didn't understand as a kid, just the whole like, you know, vilifying him at the end, even though he goes through all the things like he does what society tells him to do to get back to square one, and he gets back to what he thinks is square one, but it's not, you know, and just, yeah, there's a lot of nuances that I just didn't understand as a 17 year old kid, not even being... Not even getting into the fact that I'm high on mushrooms, too. So the probably the only things that happened, you know, that I understood were like color waves and, and cod pieces.

4:10

Yeah. Now let me ask you about the codpiece.

4:17

Yeah. The codpiece definitely stuck in my head. I was like oh, that's

4:20

definitely

4:21

that's that's a codpiece.

4:23

It's a bold fashion statement for sure.

4:25

Yeah. We were doing research into it. Celina and myself because like, What the fuck is this? codpiece? When is the codpiece coming back? You know the only thing I think the only thing I think about when the when that comes up is Clockwork Orange and Larry Blackman of Cameo. You know the front man of Cameo. He used to always -

4:44

Oh, did he wear a cod piece?

4:46

oh yeah Word Up video, dude. It's a big old red codpiece.

4:49

Word up!

4:49

Mama, come one baby tell me whats the word up. Word up!

4:55

It's like plastic Yeah, it's fucking great.

4:57

Damn, i didn't know he got down like that's that That's fantastic, man.

5:01

Yeah,

5:01

that's an accoutremant we need to bring back in.

5:03

That's what I was, That's what I was thinking. I was like, yeah, just you know, accentuating the region.

5:10

Right? We already wear ties, you know, they just pointed down you might as well put something there to look at.

5:17

I like you said, ties. It was almost like you sung it. You're like ties. It's like a little bit of ties.

5:25

you brought up Larry Blackman.

5:27

Yeah, exactly. He's my hero. I love you, Larry.

5:32

Word Up.

5:34

But yeah, so Celina was doing research on it. And apparently it has to do with just the nether regions back in the day smelt like shit.

5:41

Come again.

5:42

Oh my god.

5:43

Right? Just because you think about - Dear, lord. Yeah, just like because you know, there's no bathing going on. As far as some gangrene penises that were happening back in the day. Black, you know, plague. And so the codpiece was stuffed with like, a potpourri of you know cologne and like. So they didn't have to smell your your nasty. chode you know,

6:05

Geez, man.

6:07

So yeah, isn't that great?

6:08

The past is so horrifying, man. Yeah, yeah,

6:10

Good Lord.

6:11

It is

6:13

What movie did I watch recently?. It was like, a movie about a queen from like, Elizabethean times, or whatever. And it was just perfectly accentuating how absolutely filthy disgusting. Everything was back then. Just like the first like, couple scenes this woman like, is sexually, like, basically harassed in the back of a horse carriage and then just gets out and slips and falls right into some horse shit. Oh, and oh, before that, before she even gets in the carriage somebody throws they're like pot of piss out the window and like, it hits her. It's just like, everything's so gross. In anytime before now. In fact, now probably.

6:58

No, now it's pretty filthy right now. No, it just it's not as bad. Because because at least we have running water. You know? That's that's a big that's a big plus.

7:08

Yes. But we still use toilet paper, which is gross. You know what, I mean,

7:12

it's weird.

7:13

It's gross. It's like it's nasty. And toilets. Just in general. There's got to be a better way. Come on. We just gonna have this like thing in a room that you just piss and shit in. Like, i dont know man.

7:26

I mean, that's why I want to have like, if I you know, ideal house, if I were to ever have a house, you have some nice property. have like a nice hillside and have my nice toilet with like, a retractable roof. You know, so if I, you know, it's a nice day, I can just you know, like pooping out over the watching the landscape. But yeah, who wants to smell shit in their own house?

7:46

Right. Like it's in the house that's the thing, they were better off with the outhouse that like made more sense.

7:52

Yeah.

7:52

you leave the house to go do that.

7:53

Yeah, but do you want to share an outhouse with you know, 100 other people because you're in Seattle? Like living in?

7:59

Yeah, no,

8:00

exactly. Right. You get your own outhouse out there. There's like whole properties that are just out houses. It's like an apartment.

8:06

Oh my gosh.

8:08

Like, of just shit. Yeah, exactly.

8:10

Except they're just,

8:12

it smells so bad. It'd be like

8:14

there's no good way about it. Humans man animals.

8:18

Well,

8:18

animals. We just have digestive tracts. It's disgusting. What was God thinking?

8:25

What an asshole?

8:26

What, hey.

8:30

Thanks, no pun intended, but what an asshole? Holy hell, it's like yeah, that is a great question. Let's just yeah, this that'll be one of the goals of this podcast will be to solve. Solve the human fecal issue. I mean, you know, we've definitely there are a lot of scientists that preach about fuckin recycling the poop, you know, burning the poop is, you know, you know, using the poop as stuff, but people don't like to think about that.

8:59

I think we should. I think we should do that.

9:01

I mean, I just watched Waterworld the other day, it's like the first scene is him you know, urinating in a thing and recycling his piss and then just gargling it and loving it after it's been filtered. Because you know, we're gonna need that shit. literally gonna need that shit. And piss.

9:19

yeah, it's perfect. You know, if you think about Star Trek, that's like in the future. Like they never talk about bathrooms. Like what are they doing? You know what I mean? I'm sure what they got going on, is they go in there and they don't even have like you see the bathroom in the show sometimes and they don't have a toilet like what the fuck is happening there?

9:39

They might have it

9:40

In their suit and then it just like teleports out or something like what is going on man? , You know they recycle that shit. They have to

9:49

Or they just particle beam it out into space. It's like a beam it up Scotty every time they go poop on the thing and it just like *** then it ends up clear. And then its completely gone

9:59

And then aliens are like flying through space, are just like god damn it like another like piece of Human poop.

10:06

Yeah. Yeah, space space dust is actually just bits of human excrement.

10:10

It'd be frozen. You're right.

10:11

Yeah. It just be bits of human excrement.

10:15

That's not so bad. They do. They do also like in the show like send dead bodies out in space out the air lock. It's like that's kind of fucked up.

10:26

My theory is

10:27

I mean people are like traveling through this fucking space. Like you can't just be putting your dead bodies out there. Come on now.

10:34

Yeah, but space is just so infinite. That's the whole thing about it. The likelihood of the percentile of like you as a ship, flying through space, and then coming in contact with that body flying through space.

10:46

Yea, it's pretty infa-, infinit-. Now I'ma say it!.

10:50

Are you talking

10:52

Infinitismal. That's the word I was looking for. Right?

10:57

You tell me.

11:00

I need outside validation for this. Come on.

11:03

No, I'm gonna leave you

11:04

infinitesimal.

11:07

Infinitesimal, okay. I'll defer to you. Your hair's longer therefore you're smarter.

11:13

And my glasses? No, your glasses are bigger, so I can't even say that.

11:17

My glasses aren't prescription. They are are there for migraine?

11:23

Got you in a muh fucking lie!

11:25

Ah, no, I use em for migraines.

11:27

For migraines? Forreal? Oh shit.

11:28

Yeah, so like blue light and shit. Just when I'm using screens and stuff it affects me a lot. So I end up using glasses a lot. And then I also have glasses for driving that skew the light that comes in from the headlights and stuff. Yeah, because I'm just like hyper light sensitive. I've got some light sensitive migraines, prone to.

11:47

Do you have like really light eyes then? Are they like super like light colored?

11:52

No.

11:53

Oh, interesting.

11:54

They're green. I'm just you know, some recessive white gene.

12:00

Some fucking white people shit.

12:02

Some you know Uncle Hapsburg back in the day, you know? Passing his eyes down to me? Ya know I'm saying?

12:09

Nah, I'm kiddin.

12:10

Least he didn't give you the chin, nawimsayin?

12:14

All of it. Uncle Happy. Yes.

12:23

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12:49

I have some things.

12:52

Oh, yeah?

12:53

That yeah, I think we could talk about or we could just organically banter... But, so what did I tell you about the show? What uh, what is -

13:05

You told me it would be a nostalgia fest?

13:08

Yes. No, don't. I don't want to end meeting cancel. Yeah. The Festival of Nostalgia.

13:15

The Festival of Nostalgia.

13:18

Yes, we're gonna ruin your childhood.

13:20

Yeah, bitch. Fuck your childhood.

13:24

Yeah, it's like Will Ferrell punching that baby in The Campaign. You know? You've seen that one.

13:29

No, I have not seen that. I like to think about that though. That's good.

13:34

Yeah, sometimes you know that baby over there. Little asshole. He's cocky.

13:38

I tell you what man, on the plane back from Cali. There was a kid I had no empathy for if he had gotten hurt. I would not feel bad about it. So

13:48

The world is too populated to have empathy for everyone.

13:51

Bruh, this fucking kid man, for no fucking reason. He's just like AHHHHHHHHH. I'm like, oh my god, are you serious right now? You're too old for this shit. You're like four years old. How you gonna be like this right now?

14:10

How ya gonna act like that?

14:11

He might have been three. Still unacceptable.

14:15

Yeah,

14:16

I wanna punch that fuckin kid, man.

14:17

Yeah, we don't like that. There's a kid that ran up to Ben the other day. Yeah. ran up to him as he was at the dog park with his uh, with his dog. And the kid just runs up to him and just starts screaming at his face like unintelligible words like WAAAAHHHH. He's just like, looking around at the parents and the mom and dad are just aloof over in the corner. When she when she yells Oh, yeah. She yells the name Brixton. Brixton, come here, Brixton. What did we talk about? Oh, just think about a kid named Brixton.

14:56

I don't like any of that. None of what you just told me is enjoyable to me.

15:00

No, it doesn't seem doesn't seem real. Except -

15:04

I know, right? If it would have been on like, Portlandia you'd be like, Oh, that's so funny and quirky.

15:09

Well, that's what the reason that people hate Portlandia a lot of it is because like, they're like, No, that that I've seen that a lot.

15:15

That's that's just annoying, actually.

15:18

Yeah, like the shit on the work though.

15:20

At the are you talking?

15:24

Service industry stuff? I ain't feelin it.

15:28

Yeah.

15:28

That's that's some real life shit.

15:32

Ah. I'm over it. Yeah.

15:36

So I got some questions for you that I'm gonna hit you with. Okay. What are some things that we're going to talk about? Because I want to -

15:42

Tell me all of them. Yeah. Oh,

15:46

Okay.

15:46

Yeah.

15:47

So I'm gonna I'm going to try to you know, I'm going to give the listeners some insight into who Rob Van Winkle is

15:54

Who the fuck am I?

15:57

Yeah. Is your last name Van Winkle?

16:00

It is.

16:02

Are you Vanilla Ice?

16:04

I have been.

16:06

At various times in your life.

16:09

I DO glow when the light turns off. So you tell me?

16:14

That's a common trait

16:16

Suge Knight did dangle me out of a fucking 53rd story window. So you tell me.

16:22

You tell me. No bungee cords. So yeah, where are you? Where'd you grow up, kid?

16:31

I grew up in rural Minnesota.

16:34

Really?

16:35

I did. Yeah. Well, I mean, I grew up in Minnesota and then I moved to Lake Stevens. And then Granite Falls, and then Everett and now I'm in Seattle.

16:49

Hmm. Many places I don't know.

16:52

I have a storied past.

16:54

Yes. A traveled, a weathered traveler you are.

16:59

Exactly. Yeah. What about you, man? Where did you grow up?

17:02

Bellingham. Oh, you're you're a Bellingham boy.

17:06

Cause I'm an island boi.

17:08

A Bellingham boy.

17:10

Bellingham, Shmashington.

17:11

A Smellingham boy.

17:13

Yep. And I had to get out for a lot of reasons.

17:18

Police were after you?

17:20

Uhh, I can't - my lawyer told me not to - I'm gonna hold off on that one.

17:27

You were legal trouble.

17:29

I was in a bind, so to speak.

17:32

I like to find I like to be bound. That's not important. Don't aske me questions!

17:39

I was bound by many women. I mean,

17:43

Oooh.

17:43

Uh, no. Yeah, I spent my time in Bellingham. I went to grade school there, but I spent all of my out of school time in Cali. Outside of Santa Cruz, so...

17:56

Oh, word.

17:57

I got probably a third of my year in California. Two thirds my year in Washington.

18:04

What were you doing in Santa Cruz?

18:06

Grandma.

18:07

Come again?

18:08

Oh, hell yea

18:08

Yea chillin with grandparents.

18:10

G-ma!

18:11

Yea, single father four kids. Anytime that we were out of school. He's like, "Y'all is getting the fuck out of the house "

18:17

Get the fuck out of my hair.

18:20

Yeah, exactly. So you know, we went down. Did the whole grandma, grandpa thing. Got to meet Bill Murray one year.

18:29

Oh, shit. hah!,

18:31

Pebble Beach Golf Course.

18:34

That's awesome, dude.

18:35

Yeah, he gave me his golf ball

18:36

What did he do to you? What did he do? Did he do anything funny? Come on, man.

18:42

19:11

175 yards. Okay, little fella. You my friend, or you my enemy? You are my friend. Right? You are my ally. You are my associate my personal assistant. You are my weapon. You are leaving.

19:28

Oh, great shot.

19:29

Nice shot, Mr Murray.

19:37

You can stop posing now.

19:39

And uhh

19:40

This is what you said to him?

19:41

Yea, yea. Space Jam!

19:43

Space Jam!. Yeah.

19:44

Yeah. And he just came up, he's like, "hey, you know how you doin?" And then he gave me his golf ball. It wasn't autographed or anything like that. But it was just the golf ball he had in his hand

19:53

That's amazing.

19:55

And I was like, "I'm gonna keep this forever", you know? And I -

19:58

You did not do that. Right?

19:59

Well, I tried to I successfully did for like until I moved to Portland probably actually.

20:04

Oh damn!

20:04

It got it got lost in translation. It was a title number three, you know,

20:10

Very nice.

20:11

I was gonna frame it but how do you frame a golf ball? You know? Do i flaten it out? You know, do I do I cut it in half?

20:17

That is an interesting conundrum.

20:19

No, I'm kidding you get the little cube. Lil' plastic cube. You know?

20:25

Well there you go! You got it.

20:26

Hey, you know a man with a cube, a man with a plan.

20:29

I'm a man with a cube.

20:32

Exactly. What was - Oh, this things drifting straight up.

20:36

Tokyo. Tokyo Drift.

20:38

Yeah. How are your cats?

20:41

My cats are beautiful. And sweet boys. Who are occasionally bloodthirsty for no reason.

20:50

Just hot men that are that are just upset.

20:52

Just hot men. Bein' guys.

20:56

What's better than this? Guy's being dudes?

20:59

Yeah, you know, just some just some dudes being cats.

21:03

Just some cats moonlighting as dudes being fellas.

21:08

Hey, what the hell?

21:09

I mean,

21:10

Some kind of some kind of madness.

21:13

Dude, I got this little kitty cat.

21:15

Oh, yeah. Yeah, I saw that.

21:17

His name's Cosmo. And he's the cutest goddamn fucking thing. I just want to squeeze the life out of him all the time. He's so goddamn cute.

21:26

Does he want that?

21:27

No, no, he doesn't want me to really touch him at all. He's a mama's boy. He doesn't really give a shit about me that much. Yesterday, I was looking lovingly into his eyes. And then he slapped me in the face. And I was like, goddamn, what the fuck, bro? Slapped him back. I was like man STFU. I couldn't believe the audacity. It made me so mad. It's like bro, I'm fucking your dad or whatever. I'm not fucking your dad. I am your dad.

21:53

Your having sex with his father?

21:55

I'm having sex with your dad. Why would you do this to me?

21:59

22:08

I'm in a romantic relationship with your father. Why did you slap me? Maybe that's why he slapped me, though...

22:14

Exactly. He's, he's hot headed, ya know?

22:17

I can't blame him for it. He's in his teens. You know I'm saying, I give him a little grace. I give him a little grace. Not teens like, like actual teens but like teen kitty teens.

22:27

Cat teens, yea.

22:28

He's like, a year old.

22:29

Cateens.

22:31

Cateens... As they're called.

22:32

Yes.

22:34

And then my smugy bug. My little traumatized boy... He's so sweet. It's so sad. I just want to save him. But there's no way to.

22:45

Oh, that happens.

22:46

Because his butthole's weird.

22:49

Yeah. Weird. buttholes .

22:51

Yeah, he's got an outy butthole man.

22:54

That sounds - I'm sorry. I'm sorry. But the weight of that with the crunch of the ice cube right after was just a little too much for me. Just an accent at the end, gotta love it.

23:17

Yea, gotta chill your ice cubes, man. Gotta thoroughly chew your ice cubes.

23:22

Nothin like a - didn't they say that that was... Isn't that like a sexual tension thing? Did they say that?

23:28

Oh, really? Is it?

23:29

I remember like that being or hearing that like old wives tale or something like you chew your ice. That means you're you know, you're you're sexually frustrated.

23:37

Oh, I'm always sexually frustrated.

23:39

I was like, Yeah, well, we're I'm a man, so....

23:42

Right! I'm constantly -

23:44

Correction! Not even "I'm a man" I live in this, puritanical society. You know what I mean?

23:51

Repressed? Yeah.

23:52

Oh, yeah.

23:53

So repressed in the best way, man. Ah, I love it. I love it.

23:58

White knuckle repression.

24:00

Exactly. That's the fuckin perfect way to put it. It's like, "oh god!. I can't stray from these norms!" It's like it's just crazy man.

24:13

Yea, gripping the steering wheel just -

24:16

Right.

24:16

- mind exploding.

24:19

Yeah, and just wear a one piece? Oh my god, like the rompers or jumpers or whatever they were like a couple years ago. Guys are losing their shit that other guys were wearing them. It's like what the fuck? And somehow it related to sexuality even though it's not actually it's so weird, bro. Like, this culture is is strange when it comes to sex. And all the expectations. Sexpectations.

24:47

Sexpectations. Yes.

24:49

Yes.

24:51

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25:59

I might have to holler at you about screenwriting, too

26:02

Yeah, what's up?

26:03

Well, because I'm working on a story.

26:05

Oh!

26:06

I've got to finish the story up, but I do want to turn it into a cartoon. But I'd like to get another -

26:11

It's horrible. I'll tell you that.

26:11

- pair of eyes on it.

26:13

I'll tell you it's bad right now. But you know...

26:15

Well

26:15

But I'll look,

26:16

That's fair. I want you to look though, anyway. You know i mean?.

26:20

All right.

26:20

Give it a pass.

26:22

What is the what is the what is it about?

26:26

It's about human emotional development.

26:36

Oh, wow!

26:37

And, um, um, and? And like, Um, no, I'm just kidding. It's about a spaceman. It's about a spaceman and aliens. Okay? And it's gonna be good baby! I'm bringing to investors -

26:58

Okay.

26:58

- immedially.

26:59

I'm in

27:00

Yes, yes. All right. Now we're good. We're good.

27:05

I'm picturing you know Starship Troopers meets Breakfast at Tiffany's.

27:11

Oh my fucking god how do I how do I like I didn't give you any information. How did you get that?!

27:16

Ah, we're just

27:18

And I want it to be very Wes Anderson through Kubrick.

27:28

Yesssss.

27:28

Uh huh.

27:28

You know what I'm saying? Direction wise.

27:30

Oh yeah. Oh yeah.

27:31

Yeah.

27:32

But also with like a little bit of Coen Brothers and some Scorsese and like a tad bit a couple other you know, just all the gems.

27:40

And I want the dialogue to be snappy like Tarrantino. you know,

27:44

And but a little Oliver Stone in there too, you know?

27:47

Of course because I want the politics as well. So yeah, I mean if I could just like get those kind of

27:54

yeah, let's just bring Marlon Brando back from the dead and he's in.

27:58

Know what? I want to find the new Marlon Brando is what I want to do. I want to find the new Dean whatever his name is. You know who I'm talkin bout.

28:08

Dean?

28:09

You know who I'm talkin bout. You know who I'm talkin bout. Don't act like you don't. What is his fucking name?

28:16

I have no clue! I have no clue who you're talking about. You're like "you know who im talking about" im like nah.

28:23

James Dean!

28:24

James Dean okay yeah yeah.

28:26

Jimmy Dean!

28:27

Little bit people be up running no time for a good cooked breakfast but you know, you really do have time? You can make Jimmy Dean sausage and biscuits quicker than you can make toast so why not have a breakfast? You didn't even think you had time for.

28:38

The sausage!

28:39

The sausage man! Wanna a find a new sausage man for my Scorsese Kubrick Alien film if I can.

28:51

yeah, I'm already in.

28:53

alright dope.

28:54

Yeah, no if you have any questions with like all seriousness, I gots you.

28:59

Yeah, hell yeah, bro. I just need like a little maybe

29:04

You know the fantastic the one in a million the greatest: dubstep.

29:09

Oh, yeah.

29:10

Like that's like the best one and in our generation for like, remembering. Just because we like came up when we're all in yo and a high school.

29:23

Yeah, that shit was weird as hell. And then everybody was doing it. It was in like every fucking pop song. It was so weird.

29:31

Justin Bieber was fuckin doing dubstep songs and shit.

29:34

What is happening?

29:35

Skrillex and Diplo and Justin Bieber.

29:39

Very strange. Now what the hell is Skrillex doing now? Is he still riding that wave or is he on another thing? Some new shit

29:49

Why aren't you just gonna tell me about it?

29:52

Well, the last two things that I heard from him were: he did that album with Diplo called Jack U. Got some decent hits on it, but Diplo can't hide the fact that I don't like Skrillex so it just you know, and it's nothing against Skrillex I totally understand that he like his style actually do really like his he did a production on a song with Phantogram and Big Boi from OutKast.

30:33

Oh,

30:33

yeah. If you ever listened

30:34

I vaguely remember that actually.

30:36

Yeah, the album was called Big Grams. And they had a song featuring Skrillex.

30:54

His production when it's toned down. It's like he has a lot of shit that is that, you know, is decent. But yeah, it was very I don't know just abrasive, just a little too abrasive.

31:04

Yeah man. That's the thing.

31:05

Yeah,

31:06

Fuckin nails on a chalkboard. Listenin to that shit, I dont understand it. But then again, there's a lot of music that I just personally don't really find very enjoyable to listen to. It's like, there's a lot of music that is like work to listen to. And I really want to do a lot of work. Like I want to enjoy myself. Youknowimean?. Like, a lot of metal, a lot of metal is like that to me.

31:29

Yeah,

31:30

I don't want to hear somebody be like *vocalizes. I don't. I don't need that in my life. Like, I'm good. Like, I'm already like, quick to anger and all that. Like, I don't want to like just on my off time be stressed out. I don't want to be like, oh, like shoulders up like, Oh, God.

31:49

It's for some people. It's like stress relieving, which is the interesting part about it, you know? Like, yeah, it's some people it's like listening to Enya. Monk chants you know what I mean?

32:04

Bro have you ever like actually listened to Enya like, sat down and like, listened to an Enya song?

32:10

I listened to that six hours of Enya when I was high on acid once.

32:15

That was probably actually pretty enjoyable.

32:18

I just, I don't remember anything specifically, whereas the whole vibe was good. That's good.

32:23

I couldn't complain, Yeah.

32:25

I listened to an Enya song. And it was like, Yo, what the fuck is this, bro? Like, what is this? This is a horrible, and I watched her, like, do a live performance. And it was so mid and not good. I was like, how did this bitch gets so famous? What is? Dude, it's like, there's this one song where it's like, *vocalizes going down to Kokomo. It's like, what the fuck is this? It's so weird anyway. Music is weird, though. I mean, you could just literally do any goddamn thing.

32:59

Yeah.

33:00

In music, you can be like *vocalizes. And that's a fucking hit, baby!

33:05

That's a hit. Dude

33:06

were going with you. You just made a hit in Norwegian. You don't even know it. We're recording it. I'm marketing.

33:12

The end, baby!

33:13

Market it. Yeah, exactly. That's some shit.

33:18

Some muhfuckin'

33:22

That is some poop right there. Man.

33:24

Some poop! some

33:25

Hey, if I've ever taken a poop in front of you, then you would know. Okay. That's all I'm gonna say

33:33

But you have, though. That's the thing. I've seen it.

33:37

I've seen it. Glass table.

33:38

I'm never gonna forget it... Glass table, baby. That's the VIP viewing.

33:45

Yeah, so I'm planning I'm going to be in. I'm going to be learning about all these weird kinks. The poop kink!

33:51

Oh, you are huh?

33:52

Oh, yeah. Cause with this class. Yeah.

33:55

That is so weird, man. Like, there's a lot of weird shit. We're humans weird weirdness is just what we do. Paraphilia man.

34:04

There's just a lot of the human sexuality is shaped at a very young age. And like, by things that people don't understand that are going to shape it.

34:14

Right.

34:14

Like, I've been coming to realize that, you know, young Colin's human sexuality, or, you know, my human sexuality as opposed to my animal sexuality. Lemme differentiate the two please. Oh, yeah, shaped heavily by aerobics classes that I had at daycare in the corner of, like four or five years old. I was just like, as a kid just being like, Okay. As an adult. I'm like, I don't understand why I like this. And then all of a sudden it clicked. I'm just like, weird. So weird.

34:47

It is weird is so fucking weird man. People like, are into inanimate objects. It's like, why, you know, like,

34:54

yeah, there's just a lot of taboo shame,

34:59

shame.

35:00

attached to it, and no one wants to talk about it.

35:03

100%

35:03

And it's like, yeah, you know, hey, if you you know, get off because you know that pillow's looking at you that right way, you know, that's awesome.

35:12

Yeah,

35:13

do it.

35:14

That's why you got to get the anime waifu pillow. Live your life.

35:21

live your life with a body pillow.

35:25

Don't be ashamed of yourself. Unless, unless you should be unless you should be ashamed. And then oh yeah, case have a healthy shame and don't do the thing. You know? If you're not supposed to be ashamed

35:37

shame,

35:38

man live your life. That's my psychology for the day. That's my therapy.

35:45

Yep. It always just sucks when you're one of those people that you know, their sexuality was shaped into something that's unhealthy.

35:50

Right?

35:51

And then you got to deal with that for the rest of your life. You know?

35:53

Yeah, that sucks, man.

35:54

And so but that's why things like cognitive behavioral therapy exist. And you know, there are, there are ways to get around it. But at the same time, just our society doesn't want to fix problems. They just want to fucking -

36:07

Punish people.

36:08

Well, they want to punish people and put band aids on it. You know what I mean? Oh, look at that your head is bleeding. And you can't see because there's blood running down your face. And I got a bandaid for ya kid and go on home. You know, but it's like, yeah, I mean, everything. Look at look, look at about

36:25

are you talking

36:26

orthodox economics? might not even be the American facet.? It's what our shit revolves around. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, yeah, because why would you give people products that would last?

36:42

Well, there's no cuz they're never gonna come back.

36:47

Exactly. Just think about all the advancements we could have if we weren't just like buying cell phones if they weren't just fucking like, making you get a cell phone every year,

36:56

dude, for real man. Yeah, cuz even motherfucker, man, I could probably have this for like a decade or like two fucking decades if they just would stop updating it and making it die on me.

37:07

Well, you can still have the same Nokia?

37:09

Right, exactly. Those bricks? They're fucking solid, man.

37:13

You can still get them. You just have to sacrifice the smartphone interface.

37:17

Im not going to do that. Im not going to do that, how can I watch my tik tok videos?

37:23

Oh, yeah. What's up with the Tik tok? How's the tik tok doin? You gettin the followers?

37:27

Tiktok is a fucking roller coaster man. To experience.

37:31

Is it the truth? Is it

37:32

It's because you get on there? You get on there and you're like, Well, this is some fucking bullshit. What the hell, it's just a bunch of kids doing dumb shit that you don't really understand as an adult. And just dancing really ridiculously and kind of sad people doing lip synching videos that are very cringy or reaction video. This is a weird one. They do reaction videos.

37:55

Oh,

37:55

somebody will do something over here on this side of the screen. And their reaction is they're just watching the fucking video.

38:04

Not even commenting?

38:05

Not even commenting, or like making facial much like facial movement. It's like what are you doing? Why are you uploading this? What is the point? Exactly? I don't know. Anyway, but then you start kind of curating it a little bit. And it's lit bro. It's so funny, man. All those so many creative hilarious fucking people. But now I got no goddamn followers though. People don't fucking care. They don't see me.

38:35

You're trying to be the next Ocean Spray Fleetwood Mac bro? The guys

38:40

just never know what people want man

38:43

that shits genius. Like watch the video and you're like, This is a vibe.

38:57

He captured the vibe.

38:58

How like how he did though. He really did. Yeah, and it's just so random.

39:03

Yeah. But that's that's, that's on that Tim and Eric. Fucking level of humor. We're just like that one bit of randomness with no context. It's just the most genius. Some of the most genius aspects of comedy. You know what I mean? Like you get no context and just this and you're just like....

39:23

That's my favorite shit. I can watch like YouTube. Like meme video mashups. Just no context is one after another. Punch me in the face with random shit chaos.

39:35

Sounds terrifying.

39:37

I love to slip it slide it down my esophagus into my stomach.

39:44

Estomach

39:45

and then poop it into the room in my house.

39:48

Yep. That I have.

39:50

Yep. The poop room.

39:53

The poop room. Exactly.

39:54

I got a. I got a little kid here that wants to say hello.

39:56

Hey, yay. little chunky boy,

40:02

This is a girl. This.

40:03

Oh no, I've misgendered her.

40:05

I know. She's - This is a Mira.

40:09

Will you tell her I'm very sorry about that?

40:10

He's sorry, Mira.

40:13

Mira is a great name.

40:15

You might have met her at one point coming over to any number of my houses?

40:25

Yeah, the one in Portland. Maybe? Yah.

40:28

Yah. Yeah. Yeah, dude, you gotta watch that Russian NCAA announcer The one dude. So no, seriously, it's like, the play by play play guy is all like excited. He's like, Oh, no, go no, you know, like, so much excitement that he passes it over to the color commentator, the other guy. There's just this this like pause is you just hear, "Dah" just the most emotionless thing that you've ever heard in this hyper emotional moment. And it's just so good.

40:58

Was his team losing or somethin? Why was he so?

41:01

I mean, they're Russian announcers announcing an American NCAA game. It's like, Gonzaga, Spokane, Washington versus I think it was UCLA. So it's like, yeah, he has he has no connection to either teams. Yeah, exactly. And it just shows. Just like you're my hero. Will you marry me leaving him?

41:22

It's like his wife is leaving him.

41:24

Oh yea. My wife just left me. Dah.

41:32

It's like an opera. And yet he's like the pain. heartbreak. That's the heinousness. Do you want to take a -

41:41

The heinousness.

41:43

Do you want to take a fiver and then then come back to it.

41:46

I've never wanted to do anything more.

41:48

Yeah, you look like you have to poop.

41:50

I have already kind of started but I could. I could leave the room and finish if you want.

41:58

I mean, I prefer eye contact. Pics or it didn't happen. How about that? All right. We'll be back in five minutes.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai