This episode explores the transformative power of true confession in relationships and before God. The hosts emphasize that merely confessing to God without relational accountability often leaves sin unresolved, while confessing to a trusted spouse or mentor cultivates humility, freedom, and healing. By creating a safe, non-judgmental environment, individuals can openly share their struggles, confront personal failures, and experience genuine spiritual growth. Through examples like Isaiah’s humility and David’s repentance, the discussion highlights that confession exposes the heart yet invites God’s love and restoration, ultimately preparing believers to stand confidently in His presence.

• Confession is more impactful when shared with a trusted person rather than only internally or to God in abstraction.

• Safe accountability fosters honesty, freedom, and spiritual growth.

• True humility involves acknowledging sin without rationalizing or hiding it.

• Examples: Isaiah’s immediate awareness of his sinfulness (Isaiah 6), David’s repentance after Nathan’s confrontation (2 Samuel 12).

• Confession is preparation for encountering God and deepening relational intimacy.

• Key principle: “Confess your sins to one another, that you may be healed.”

• Ron:“You can confess to the Lord in the sky all day long, and nothing happens—’cause you’re really not confessing to anybody.”

• Ed:“You should have somebody that actually can say ‘no’ to you—somebody that you can talk with and confess to without condemnation.”

• Debbie:“We have to allow that, because if we don’t, there’s no honesty. There’s no freedom to express your heart.”

• Ken: “If you can find someone who will not make an accusation against you because of what you just submitted—if they can just hear you… that is the important part.”

• Ron:“Lord, help me to be able to be humbled in your presence… If I’m unwilling in my heart to be humble, then I’m gonna be one of those that flee from your presence.”

James 5:16 “Confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed.”

Isaiah 6:5 Isaiah’s recognition of his unworthiness before God.

2 Samuel 12:7-14  David’s confession and repentance after Nathan’s confrontation.

John 3:19 “Men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil.” (on exposure and humility)

True confession is not just a spiritual formality; it’s a transformative practice that requires humility, courage, and relational trust. While it’s easier to confess sin privately or abstractly, genuine growth occurs when believers share their struggles with someone who can listen without judgment. This relational honesty mirrors our relationship with God, allowing us to confront our own failings, experience forgiveness, and cultivate a deeper intimacy with Him. Practicing this level of transparency prepares the heart to stand in God’s presence with humility and confidence.

Furthermore, confession is an act of love—both receiving and giving it. By creating a safe, non-condemning environment, believers help one another process guilt, shame, and failure without fear. Spiritual growth is fostered through accountability, not isolation; through honesty, not avoidance. Just as David’s repentance restored him, and Isaiah’s humility allowed him to serve, modern believers find freedom, healing, and readiness for God’s presence when they engage in authentic confession within trusted relationships.

Ron:

You can confess to the Lord in the sky all day long, and it doesn’t hurt, and it’s no big deal, and nothing happens—’cause you’re really not confessing to anybody. You’re just confessing to your carnal mind. Try it with your spouse and see the difference in it, ’cause you’ll feel it in your guts when you have to.

When you have to confess, “Well honey, I lied to you about this,” whatever it is—and it’s something really humiliating—you don’t want to do that. And you’ll make excuses or whatever because it really hurts. It’s not pleasant to do that.

If you think that’s unpleasant, what do you think it’s gonna be like standing before the Lord, right? Will you even be able to stand before the Lord? Will you shrink away in shame because your heart and everything’s exposed—you can’t hide anything.

Ed:

From Him. It’s all right there. You should have somebody that actually can say “no” to you—somebody that you can talk with and confess to without condemnation. It’s very important for that.

If you’ve got somebody that you can confess to that’s not gonna condemn you, and you can trust that they’re not gonna expose it—

Debbie:

I have to repent, ’cause I always tell him, “No, don’t think about that. Don’t go there. Don’t talk about that,” because you’re not being positive. I can’t do that anymore with each other.

We have to allow that, because if we don’t, there’s no honesty. There’s no freedom to express your heart—even if it’s not the thing that the Lord’s doing—because you have to create an atmosphere for them to feel free and to love them through it. To just love them. “I’m here. I’m listening. I’m hearing.”

Ron:

There’s a principle that was made real to me. It says, “Confess your sins to one another that you may be healed.” It’s not just physical healing—it’s all levels.

I believe we have to come to the place where we are able to confess our dirtiest laundry to our spouse—not to anybody, but to our spouse or to a designated relationship. You can’t humble yourself by yourself. It doesn’t work.

If we can’t be totally open and honest with somebody, how the hell are we gonna be open and honest with the Lord, who sees right through us?

Debbie:

Right. Unless you are open—

Ron:

Unless you are open, and unless you’re able to stand. One example—and I’m sure there’s a lot of them in the Scriptures—but one example was Isaiah, when he had his initial meeting with the Lord. The first words out of his mouth were, “Woe is me! I’m ruined,” because you have an immediate comparison between what’s in you, which is no good thing, and Christ.

Mike:

In the beginning, if you really love this woman or you love this man, there’s got to be a commitment to the relationship. And if you don’t understand God’s love, what really signifies Him apart from everything else is His commitment to us—that’s love.

That’s real love. Where with human beings, we don’t relate with that very well. We don’t understand it because we’re used to seeing the opposite out here in the world—yeah, if it doesn’t work, well hey, I can move on from there.

Ron:

You don’t do this with anybody.

Mike:

No, you couldn’t.

Ron:

You could not do this with anybody.

Mike:

You’re not supposed to either.

Ron:

No, you’re not supposed to. If I have thoughts that are things that I’m going through, who am I gonna confess that to? I’m gonna confess it to my wife. You know, I’m not gonna confess it to God in the sky—that’s easy. That’s ineffective. When you confess to something and God in the sky, you’ll do it again.

Debbie:

Yeah.

Ron:

When you confess it to Christ in the flesh, it’s not pleasant.

Ken:

When you’re confessing something like that, you don’t want to hear how to avoid it—you just want them to hear it. Right. And that is the key, because words stick in our minds, whether we understand that or not. A word never dies.

And if somebody speaks something negative about you, unless you’re able to break that bond with that person, you’re going to hear that word, and it’s gonna convict you or condemn you, and you’ll carry that with you.

How many times have you had somebody that you thought a lot of say something negative to you, and you could not forget it? There has to be a carefulness here because we’re not gonna say words that are gonna be hurtful down the road.

Lois:

We have to learn that if somebody confesses something to us, it’s not the time to give them advice.

Ken:

No.

Lois:

It’s not. You just have a heart to listen and love.

Ken:

That’s exactly right. And that’s the important part of this whole thing. If you can find someone who will not make an accusation against you because of what you just submitted—if they can just hear you and say, “I understand, and I’m gonna hold that in my heart; I’m not gonna talk about that.”

I think the greatest example that we have in the Old Testament is when David saw Bathsheba—

Debbie:

Right.

Ken:

—and took her in and had a child with her, and then had her husband killed, and thought it was all over until the prophet Nathan came and said, “This one guy came, and all he had was one lamb, and this other guy had all of these lambs. This man demanded that one little lamb and slew it, and they ate it.”

What David said was right on—he said, “That man deserves to die.” And Nathan said, “You’re the man.”

Debbie:

Yep.

Ken:

Now there was a humbling right there. David humbled his heart, accepted what Nathan said, put on sackcloth and ashes, and laid on his face before God. And when the child was pronounced dead, he said, “It’s over.”

That’s like an acceptance of the price that you pay for doing something. You talk about humiliation—he knew better than to do that, and yet he did it.

Mike:

Well, he’s the king. He could do anything, right? How was he to have a heart before God? We saw that right there. He instantly repented before the Lord when he was confronted, because the other reaction was—he could have taken a sword and chopped Nathan’s head off, end of story, and moved on from there.

No, he wasn’t going to do that. He had a heart after God.

Debbie:

Because he had a relationship with the Lord—because he had a relationship, and he knew the truth. He knew exactly what he was doing was wrong.

Ken:

Well, maybe that’s the key right there, Debbie. You know, is your humiliation worth being separated from God—and what’s not?

Ed:

Mm-hmm.

Ken:

I think there are a lot of people, you know, that just find the Lord in a beginning situation, and that sort of thing happens. They may just turn around and walk away if their hearts are not really into it. They don’t have a relationship with Him.

Debbie:

Exactly.

Ken:

They didn’t want that relationship, because the relationship is worth everything.

Ron:

Remember the scripture—it talks about how men would choose the darkness rather than the light because their deeds are evil, and they don’t want to be exposed. And they don’t want their deeds exposed because of the humiliation that they would walk in and see.

To me, that’s what this word’s talking about—it’s practicing. You’re practicing the presence of the Lord.

Debbie:

Yeah.

Ron:

Lord, help me—

Debbie:

Yes.

Ron:

—to be able to be humbled in your presence. Because see, if I’m unwilling in my heart to be humble, then I’m gonna be one of those that flee from your presence. Maybe the Lord doesn’t appear to you because He won’t—because you’re not ready.

He loves you enough not to appear to you because He doesn’t want it to be destructive to your spirit. So you’re looking for the Lord to appear to you in Pentecost or Passover, and it doesn’t happen. It just doesn’t happen. And you can spiritualize it away, but it just doesn’t happen.

He doesn’t appear to you. You can’t blame the Lord. When are you going to look back at yourself and go, “There’s probably something—it’s probably right here that the problem lies.”

It’s not like the Lord doesn’t want to appear to me, but I do believe that He loves me enough that He may not appear to me because it would be destructive. But yet, it’s a catch-22—because how do you change? The only way you change is in His presence.

This whole word is preparation for His appearing—yes. So you are preparing your spirit by practicing what we’ve been talking about. You’re practicing being honest, open, and humble before your mate—

Debbie:

—to who you’re relating to, who you have a relationship with—

Ron:

Right. So that the Lord can appear to you, and you can stand in His presence.

Ken:

Well, I think there’s a whole other factor here. Are we going to be created by what we do, or by what He does in us and through us?