If you do not have governance over your mind, your emotions can run you to the point where you overreact with sometimes extreme emotional responses. Join Dr John Demartini and learn the science of how to manage your emotions and thereby manage your life more effectively.

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Our amygdala,

which is part of our survival brains function in systems 1 thinking,

is assigning valency, emotional charge to the things we perceive.

One of the things that I'd like to share with you today is how to manage your

emotions. You probably had all kinds of swings,

really up, really down, all over the place.

And we're designed to have motions. They're there for a purpose.

They're there to let us know when we're in survival mode.

So I'd like to define this so maybe you get something write with and write on.

An emotion is a polarized perception. It's due to that.

So if you meet somebody and you are conscious of their upsides

and unconscious of their downsides, and drawn to them,

almost impulsively, and you have an infatuation,

and you seek them out and want to be with them,

that's motion towards something. Energy put into motion towards something.

That's an emotion. So we have what is sometimes called positive emotions,

which are attractive like a pole of a magnet.

And we also have things that are negative emotions, , that are repulsive,

where we're conscious of the downsides and unconscious of the upsides and we

have an instinct to withdraw.

Both of those are survival responses.

Imagine you're like an animal in the wild and you're looking for prey,

when we infatuate with somebody, we kind of look at them as prey.

We want to consume them.

And you probably actually wanted to consume the person

At the same time,

when you really resent somebody and you're conscious of the downsides not the

upsides, you want to avoid them, you want to get away from them, escape them.

So emotions are basically designed for seeking and avoiding,

for searching for that which we seek and try to avoid

and escape that which we're trying to, we resent.

So emotions serve a purpose, particularly when you're in survival mode.

Now we could perceive that individual really high,

all positive, no negative,

and be completely subjectively biased and go into an absolute radical

perspective on it and become almost addicted to them.

Or we could do that in reverse and be subdicted from them where we're so,

all bad no good. I was asked by a lovely lady in Africa one time,

do you believe in absolute good and evil? And I said, no. She says, well,

I do. And I said, well,

your career of involving in negotiations may be hindered by

that, because if you think they're all good or bad, you got a very broad,

general black and white view.

And whenever you see all good and no bad, you fear it's loss.

Anytime you see all bad and no good, you fear it's gain.

So anytime you have a highly polarized perception,

you're going to have a highly polarized emotion.

The ratio of your perceptions determine the ratio of your emotions.

Each emotion has a cocktail you might say, of neurotransmitters, neurohormones,

neuromodulators, neuro regulators,

chemistry in the brain and physiology that let you know it.

And we literally create symptomatology that we recognize.

When we're really infatuated with somebody we want to rest and digest.

And when we're really resentful to somebody, we want to fight or flight.

So there are parasympathetic and sympathetic autonomic responses and

epigenetic effects in our physiology because of these polarized emotions.

So the emotions are there to let us know whenever we have an imbalanced mind,

an imbalanced perception.

If all of a sudden we see just as many positives as negatives, we're conscious,

fully conscious of both, we're not infatuated, but we see both sides.

Now if you've been infatuated with somebody, you know the first months or so,

you take a while before you start to see some of those downsides.

But after a while you see things you like and dislike.

So you're going to have the wisdom of the ages without the aging process or the

wisdom of the ages with the aging process, whatever way you choose,

the quality of the questions you ask will make you aware of both sides.

And then you are not so vulnerable and gullible to how infatuated you became.

The same thing on resentment.

You could ask questions and become cognizant of the upsides to the thing you

think are downsides and be less,

you might say evasive to somebody and cautious about

somebody.

But as long as you have an imbalanced ratio of perceptions you're going to be

seeking or avoiding and you're going to have the fear of loss of that what you

seek and the fear of gain of that what you try to avoid.

And you're going to be run by emotions and you're going to be in your survival

mode like an animal.

But we have the capacity to balance that and bring that into complete

neutrality. And see both sides of people,

because the truth is people have both sides. I'm not a nice person,

I'm not a mean person. I'm a human being,

an individual human being that has both. You support my values,

I'm nice as a pussycat, you challenge my values, I can be mean as a tiger.

So looking carefully and really wholefully at somebody and seeing

both sides allows you not to be impulsively gullible and infatuated

or skeptically cynical and evasive,

allows you to be present. And when you're able to do that,

you are not fearing the loss of it or fearing the gain of it,

you're just present with it. And whatever you're present with,

when you have that neutral perspective, you have self-governance.

Self-Governance can allow you to manage your emotions.

Now what's interesting is, in our brain we have layers in the brain,

and we have kind of systems the way we think.

We have systems 1 thinking where we actually emotionally

that's a survival mode. That's when we have polarized perceptions.

And we also have systems 2 thinking where we think before we react. We stop,

look for both sides, see both sides, stop,

become present and mitigate anything that we're imbalanced on and

see both sides and then act. We think before we react. Therefore,

we don't have an emotion, we have reason,

and reason conquers emotion in that respect.

Most people have their emotions running,

they realize they have an imbalance and then they come up with reason

afterwards. And that's perfectly fine. That's most people.

And we learn teleonomically by trial and error from our experiences. Oh,

maybe that's not the wisest to do, and maybe next time we'll try it differently.

But anytime we have a polarized perception,

we tend to store that in our subconscious mind. Our amygdala,

which is part of our survival brains function in systems 1 thinking,

is assigning valency,

emotional charge to the things we perceive and storing that in our

hippocampus, which is our brain area that's supposedly involved in memory,

at least one of the areas, and

we store those in our subconscious mind.

And then anytime we see something that reminds us of those previous events,

we tend to react before we think.

About 200 milliseconds we're reacting and then we backdate our justification of

that with our reason afterwards.

But that means that the people around us in the external world is going to run

us. As long as we're in systems 1 amygdala kind of survival mode,

we're going to keep having things around us.

We're going to be victims of our history and not masters of our destiny.

We're going to have everything around us run us. I teach a class,

a program called The Breakthrough Experience.

I teach people that as long as you do that well,

you're probably not going to be mastering your life. In fact,

Warren Buffet says, until can manage your emotions,

don't expect to manage money. Robert Greene says,

until you can manage your emotions, don't expect to be a leader.

And almost every area of your life, if you look at the challenges you faced,

it's because you lost control. You lost,

you didn't know how to manage your emotions.

But in executive center of the brain, the forebrain,

the medial prefronatl cortex, that area of the brain

has transmitters that calm down the impulses and instincts of the amygdala,

balance out the perception, bring it into objectivity, which means neutrality,

and awakens reason. And they allow you to think. So the question is,

how do we go into our executive center instead of being living always in our

amygdala? People live in the amygdala, when you live in your amygdala a lot,

the actual,

you have degeneration and demyelinization and what they call apoptosis,

cell destruction in the brain, in the forebrain.

If you don't use that forebrain, you lose it. At the same time,

if you use your forebrain,

you calm down some of the excessive functions of the amygdala,

which hijacks your awareness. So,

you know, I never talk about,

anybody who has heard me before know I talk about values in almost every talk I

do. So I'm going to tie those together.

Everybody has a set of priorities in life, set of values,

things that are most to least important in their life.

Whenever they're living by their very highest value,

not only do they get the self-worth that go up,

not only do they have bigger visions for achievement,

not only are they spontaneously inspired to take action, but the blood, glucose,

and oxygen now goes into the forebrain,

activates the medial prefrontal cortex and allows the reasoning systems 2

thinking to calm down the overreactions and allow us to

have an objective view, which is balanced and neutral,

instead of a subjective survival view, which is a distortion.

Most of the problems you have in your relationship is because you overreacted

or undereacted and they reacted the same way, overreacted too.

So you both are sitting there in a pride view thinking your view is right and

judging each other for their reactions,

instead of actually stopping and taking a look at what's actually going on.

So anytime you live according to your highest value and live by priority

and stick to what's really important to you,

you end up having more governance over those emotions and the amygdala.

If you go and look at your day and you have an agenda for the day and you knock

it out and you basically stick to it and focus on it,

get the highest priority things done,

you start your day with a state of grace and you sit down and you go, okay,

what's the highest priority actions I can do today?

And get really clear about them and knock them out one by one.

And you achieve things, don't let anything distract you,

you say no to things that aren't really priority and get it down,

you'll feel on top of the world, you'll get the blood in the forebrain.

Your medial prefrontal cortex will govern yourself. At the end of the day,

you'll feel resilient and adaptable and you'll come home and you won't

overreact. And you'll appreciate,

in fact the executive center is sometimes call the gratitude center.

You're more appreciative.

But if you go in there and you let the world outside run you and all these

opportunists come in, or all these distractions come in,

you're putting out fires all day, you go, whoa, what a day?

The first one was a heavenly day. Now you have a hell of a day.

And in that hell of a day,

you let everything distract you from what was priority.

You went back in amygdala, you were unfulfilled.

Now you come home and now you're going to react, your blood,

glucose and oxygen's into the amygdala,

down in the lower desire center, the survival center of the brain.

So we can live in a sense by a design or we can live by duty.

We can let the internal world drive us,

as I said on the movie The Secret many years ago,

when the voice and the vision on the inside is greater than all opinions on the

outside, we begin to master our life.

Or we can live in our amygdala and let the world around us and become victims of

history. That's why I teach the Breakthrough Experience.

I have a program that I do called The Breakthrough Experience and I teach people

how to identify what's really valuable to them. And believe it or not,

you think that's easy. If you ask somebody what their values are,

which I've been doing for 45 years, you think that people would say they know.

But the fact is, after doing hundreds of thousands of evaluations,

very few people really know what's really valuable.

They are inculcating all kind of ideas in their mind about how

their life's supposed to be, should be.

They're trying to live up to people that they admire and try to be like them.

And they've clouded the clarity of what's really important to them and they're

not really knowing how to live by priority.

And so in the Breakthrough Experience I show people how to determine what really

is important, what are your priorities, what are your real values?

And then I show people how to prioritize and organize their life in such a way

to live by them,

and to know how to surround themselves with people who can get the other things

done that are lower in priority and delegate that so they can liberate

themselves to produce more income, to be more centered, more empowered,

to end up with more income in their life and more wealth in their life.

To be able to have more magnetism in their relationships,

more social influence in their life, more vitality in their life,

and more inspiration. And so that's a simple thing.

And then I also show people in the Breakthrough Experience,

the Demartini Method, which is a method I've been developing since I was 18,

50 something years now,

and how to dissolve the emotional baggage that people have

that's stored in the subconscious mind,

all the wounds that they have and all the fantasy they have. You know,

people think, well, I need to get rid of my wounds,

but they also need to get rid of their fantasies.

If we keep comparing our current reality to a fantasy about how life's supposed

to be, we're going to end up having to have the wounds all the time.

So I show people how to dissolve the fantasies and the nightmares,

the philias and the phobias of impulses and instincts that are on the amygdala

and calm them down and so you can be poised and present.

It's like doing a long meditation,

doing this method it's like a meditation on steroids.

Allows you to clear the baggage so your mind is clear. It's not all the noisy.

A lot of people when they go into meditation,

it's full of noise when they start.

This clears the noise so you can get onto priority and focus on it.

And most of the noise is subordinating to people around you that you think that

you need to be like, you know, you think they've got a better life so you think,

oh, I need to be like them.

And you try to compare yourself and envy people and try to imitate people

instead of be yourself. The magnificence of who you are is that.

But the second you do that, so in the Breakthrough Experience,

I also show you how to dissolve the infatuations of people that distract you,

and how to know who the people are that you put on a pedestal that's actually

distracting you from being magnificent and present.

A lot of the self depreciation, so-called sabotage self, you know,

annihilative kind of behaviors we have in life,

the limiting beliefs sometimes people call them,

are really just byproducts of minimizing ourselves to other people,

injecting their values, trying to live in their values and beating ourselves up

when we can't do it. We're not here to live in other people's values.

We're not here to be second at being somebody else.

We're here to being first at being ourselves. So the second we do that,

that's why I teach that in the Breakthrough, well,

all of a sudden we level the playing field with people and we get to play in a

bigger field. Instead of looking at them thinking they have something we don't,

because we're too humbled to admit we have it,

I show you how to find out where you already have what you admire.

You only admire things in other people that you already have,

but you're too humble to admit it,

and how to wake that up so you can play on the same playing field instead of

looking up to them,

you look across and have sustainable fair exchange with those people instead of

subordination to them and sacrifice for them.

And then I'll also show you how to take the goals that you have and help them

become manifested. There's a formula that I've developed over the last 50 years,

a step-by-step formula that gives the results.

It's just a matter of following it.

It's what's allowed me to do the things I do all over the world.

And it's simply a step-by-step formula.

So I help people get clear about their purpose.

I help get clear about what they want to create in their life.

Help them get clear about what's priority and help them dissolve the baggage and

help them focus and get inspired by their life.

There's absolutely nothing stopping us from living an inspired life.

But if we want an inspired life, we have to manage our emotions. Our emotions,

our feedback mechanisms trying to guide us to authenticity.

If they're interpreted properly and managed properly,

we help ourselves live the most magnificent and authentic life we can be.

That's where we're inspired every single day. That's why I want to do it.

And I just can't wait to share the Breakthrough Experience

watch people's lives change. Every week I get, every week,

almost every day I get letters from people, the people, hey,

this is what's happened in my life from it. And it's inspiring.

I've been doing a long time,

35 years in the Breakthrough Experience and it's very inspiring to watch this

around the world. And so that's why I like sharing that with you.

And I know that if you take the time to go and manage your emotions and get very

prioritized in your life, I know your life changes.

That's why I want people to come to the Breakthrough Experience.

And also before I go through this last gem,

I just want you to know that I do the Breakthrough Experience. It's 24- 5 hours,

sometimes 26 hours with me and I work with you and help you break through what

you want to break through in your life.

You may have an issue going on with somebody in your

maybe a mom, dad, ex-husband, wife or something like that, or kids or something.

Or you may have a health issue, you may have business issues,

you may have not clarity about what you want to dedicate your life to as far as

business, how, what, what your mission is and what your service is.

You may have issues about building yourself up with

yourself on social media and then humbling yourself and crashing.

There's a moral licensing effect inside all of us to keep us centered and if we

don't know about it,

which is one of the things I teach in the Breakthrough Experience,

we miss out on the feedback that it's offering us, teaching you

that is what I love doing.

That's why I want you to come to the Breakthrough Experience because I know I

can do something there in 24 hours, 25 even 26 hours.

And any question you have about what it is that's stopping you and getting where

you want to go in life, we go there.

I love addressing those things because I know that the people in there that come

to the program, their lives change, a trajectory change.

I ask people at the end of the program,

how many have you learned something this weekend you have never learned in your

life and you could have gone your whole life and never learned if you hadn't

been here? Every hand goes up.

So I'm certain about the value of it and I want to share that with you because I

want to make a difference in your life.

I've had a dream since I was 17 years old to travel the world and teach.

At 18 I wanted to help myself master my life.

And then I realized that if I help other people master their life,

I get to master my life.

As Zig Ziglar inspired me without it when I was young too.

And I'm absolutely certain that the information that has helped me do what I

love doing, can do the same thing for you.

So if you'd love to have a more inspired life and more empowered life and know

how to manage your emotions,

please just go and sign up for the Breakthrough Experience.

You're not going to hang out with me for 26 hours or so without having something

rub off.

You can't put your hand in the pot of glue without some of the glue sticking.

So I look forward to seeing you there. Thank you for listening to this thing.

And I want you to have an absolutely inspired, absolutely amazing,

authentic, transcended emotional state.

Gratitude, love, inspiration, enthusiasm,

certainty and presence are what happen when you manage your emotions.

I want you to come to the Breakthrough Experience so I can show you how to have

those.

That way you can manage your emotions and let your thinking and your reason

overrule your emotional reactions. So you're not living in survival,

you're living in thrival.

I look forward to seeing you there and thank you for being with me today.

And again, stay focused, inspired and sign up today.