If you’ve ever felt like you were losing your mind right before a major life upgrade, this episode is for you. In today’s vulnerable founder conversation, I’m sharing the reality behind internal evolution—the messy, confusing middle between who you’ve been and who you’re called to become. We’ll talk about how to navigate identity shifts before you have external proof, how to structure your life to support rapid growth, and the decision filter I use daily to stay loyal to my future, not my past.

Inside This Episode:

• Why feeling lost, stuck, or crazy is actually a normal part of growth
• How to navigate the uncomfortable gap season between who you are and who you're becoming
• The systems, boundaries, and inputs I put in place to support evolution (especially on the hardest days)
• How I rebuilt my life, habits, and routines to match my future identity, not my past success
• A founder’s perspective on saying “no” to good opportunities that don’t align with your bigger vision
• The life-changing decision filter I use: “Does this keep me stuck in who I’ve been—or move me closer to who I’m called to be?”
• A powerful reflection question to realign your life: “Where are you staying loyal to a life that no longer fits?”

Power Moves:

• Stop waiting for proof—build your systems to support the person you’re becoming.
• Reframe resistance: it’s not failure, it’s the final test before expansion.
• Audit your life weekly: systems, boundaries, inputs—are they aligned with your future or anchoring you to your past?
• Embrace “no” as a growth strategy, even when it costs you comfort or easy wins.

Resources Mentioned:

• Check out The Archive™ — Built for women evolving into their next level with systems that support flexibility, focus, and future vision.

If you enjoyed this episode, please leave a review, subscribe, and share it with a friend who’s ready to step into their next level. Let’s grow together.

Welcome to the Elevated Edit Podcast.

I'm your host, Blakely Ramsey, and the goal of this podcast is to discuss all things personal development, wellness, and the art of editing your life in an elevated way.

From mastering morning routines to mastering your mindset, we're going to sift through the noise and empower you to take elevated action.

Make sure you catch the show notes.

For all the details.

Enjoy the show.

Here's what no one tells you about outgrowing the life you worked so hard to build.

You don't just wake up one day and feel ready.

You're probably going to wake up confused, heavy, second guessing everything that you thought you wanted.

It's going to feel messy, not magical.

But what you're feeling isn't failure, it's evolution.

I have tried to be extremely transparent on this podcast about my journey over the last year.

If you are new here, welcome.

On paper, my life looked incredible.

I had a great career, obviously, great social life.

I looked super happy.

And I was very grateful for everything because I had worked extremely hard for it.

But I was feeling this pull and this tug of like, okay, I am grateful that I've gotten here, but I know there's more.

Like, I know that this can't be the end of the road for me and this can't be the end result because at the time, in order for me to get to my next level, I was going to have to just keep working harder.

I was going to have to put more hours in, I was going to have to get more aggressive and, you know, be more all these things.

And I was like, it just doesn't really align with what I want my future to look like, what I want my life to feel like.

And so I have had to essentially reevaluate my whole entire life over the last year.

And I've had to ask myself a lot of difficult questions.

I have had to hire a lot of professionals and really fill my circle with a lot of mentors who were extremely honest with me.

And from my perspective at this point, my wife has done a complete 180 as of the time of this recording.

It truly is crazy.

But one thing that I don't think we talk about enough, I think the narrative is starting to be discussed a little bit more Openly.

But everyone talks about how scary it is to get started.

You know, you've got to have the bold vision and the bold move, and you've got to plan and have the ideas and all the things.

And then everybody talks about, like, oh, the pinnacle of, like, wow, it felt so good to put in all that hard work and achieve.

And people touch on the, the messy middle.

They touch on the, you know, oh, I had a breakdown in this moment when the website wouldn't work, when we, you know, you talk about the big moments, but I truly still don't think we talk about the little, tiny everyday moments that are so, so difficult.

We don't talk about them as much.

And I think that that comes to as a detriment, especially to women, because we're not talking about it enough.

And so when someone tries something new and they experience a ton of resistance and a ton of pushback and a ton of struggle, they're like, oh, well, obviously I don't need to be doing that because everything went wrong.

But really, that is just part of the problem process.

And so that's just what I, I kind of want to pull back the curtain and talk about that a little bit today.

So if you are in a season where you are wanting to make a change, or maybe you're already in the middle of the change and you're just sitting in the middle of the floor and looking around and everything is on fire and you're like, hm, things are worse now than they were before.

This is going to be hopefully like a calming episode for you.

I'm not going to tell you that everything's going to be great and wonderful and it's all going to work out and, you know, all you have to do is think happy thoughts.

But I am going to let you know that this is totally normal and everyone experiences this on their way to success, especially if you are on their way to success, especially if you are making a really big change.

And part of that change involves changing what you think about yourself and what you believe about yourself.

It really can be a massive struggle to shift your identity before you have proof.

Because when you're building that new future and you're in that uncomfortable gap between who you used to be and who you're becoming, you're not going to have a ton of external proof, like, you know deep down that you're changing, but the world around you doesn't know that you're changing and they still expect you to show up like the old version of yourself.

And I think at this point I am really running into that a lot, like, head on.

And it's been extremely difficult because I have had to let a lot of people down that I love and care about and have honestly helped me get to this point.

But I know exactly what I want moving forward now.

Like, I can see it clear as day.

I know exactly what it's going to take to get there.

And in order to get there, I am going to have to say no to a lot of things.

I'm going to have to change a lot of the ways that I operate.

And it is to the detriment, unfortunately, of some of the people who have, you know, relied on me staying the same.

And I think, especially as women, I think maybe especially in the south, because I've got a friend that lives in New York City and I was talking to her about this and she was like, yeah, I don't experience that.

I don't experience that at all.

So I do think that some Southern women, particularly, we do want to keep everyone happy.

I have worked on this, and it is just a hard habit to break.

The people pleasing habit is just ingrained so much into my psyche.

Like, I truly, at the end of the day, I truly do want to try to make everybody happy.

And that has been such a struggle and a resistance in all of this is to feel like I'm disappointing people, even though I know when everything pans out, they're going to look back to and be like, okay, Blakely, like, didn't do that to hurt my feelings.

She just had to, you know, make some difficult decisions and it all worked out.

But it's easy to look back and say that.

But it's not always easy to think that in the moment.

And you might be at a point where you're like, I just can't keep operating like this anymore.

Like, I have to make a change.

And that was where I was.

Where I was.

Like, I don't even know what has to change, but something has to change.

I'm at my breaking point.

I am miserable.

Life cannot be like this.

And so you really do have to keep reminding yourself of your why and the reason you got started.

And that's why it's so critically important to have that super crystal clear future vision of where you're going.

So that when you're in this gap season, when you're in the season where literally everything feels like it's falling apart, you have a something to keep your eye on.

I'm like, I'm keeping my eye on the laser.

I'm ignoring all of the negativity.

And I'm ignoring.

I'm honestly ignoring a lot of the problems that pop up right now, like technical problems and just logistic problems.

I mean, there's so many little things that pop up when you are trying something new, whether it is a business venture or something personal, whatever it is.

Like you run into so many resistances and so many issues when you are trying something new for the first time.

And I have had to just sit in the discomfort of knowing that this is part of the process and this is the struggle that I have to go through in order for me to be able to handle what's coming.

Like, that is how I try to reframe everything is this struggle that I'm being put through right now.

Like, God can see how big my life is going to be and he can see the end result.

And so he is praying, priming me for everything.

And I just have to keep telling myself that because sometimes it feels like days and weeks go by and I'm like, okay, no progress.

You know, I'm still showing up.

I'm doing the things I'm supposed to do, and it just feels like I'm.

There's times where I'm just sitting in mud is honestly how it feels.

Now.

Y'all know me.

I do not like to soak in victimhood.

So I have implemented a couple of things to really try to help myself structure my life to support evolution.

Structure my life so that when I am having those days where I am just so burnout, I am so discouraged that I have things that keep me going.

So here are some things that I have been doing to support evolution.

So number one, y'all already know I'm going to say this.

Systems, you don't have to leave everything up to willpower.

You can let your systems do the heavy lifting.

On those days where I am like, mentally, I am run down mentally, I feel like I should just go back to my corner of safety where I was.

This is way too hard.

This is making me question everything.

Like, I want to go back over there in my comfort zone.

I have really had to rely on my systems just to get things done.

Because even on those days where I feel like everything is falling apart, I still have to show up.

And if I don't show up, then I'm not going to have the life that I want.

And I do feel like this is an easy place to self sabotage, even if you're not realizing it.

Because you can get so down on yourself and so down on the process and really start to second guess your vision and whether it was a good idea at all.

And but you still have to show up on those days.

And I do think it's very easy to be like, you know what, I'm just going to take this day and not make any progress.

And I'm just, I'm feeling too sad.

It's not a big deal.

I'll just get started tomorrow.

And then that's when the oh well, tomorrow something came up.

Well then the next day something came up and then it's two weeks later and you're like, oh shoot, I've got to get back to that.

And so really having those systems to rely on on those days when everything feels like it's on fire is incredible.

But one thing I have had to be really careful about is to ensure that I am rebuilding my systems to support the person that I want to become and not just maintaining the old version of myself.

So when I got started on this journey, I pretty much kept the same habits and the same routines that had got me there because they worked.

I kept the same work routine, I kept the, the same schedule.

I woke up at the same time, I read the same books and I, because I was like, well, this got me here so surely it can get me there.

But one thing I've really realized is that every season is going to require a new version of you.

Every season is going to require a new schedule.

Some seasons need a lot more rest, a lot more flexibility.

Some seasons need you to show up at 100% and they need you to be very structured and very, you know, on top of your game.

And so I've really had to ensure that I'm checking in with myself often and being like, hey sis, where are we at?

Like, where are we at with your business?

Where are we at with your mindset?

Where are you at physically?

Like, what do you need right now in order to get to that next level?

Do you need to take a couple days off and have intentional rest or.

Or do you need to show up for yourself and get some things checked off of your project list or your action list or whatever it is?

And so just ensuring that I have really touched base with my systems and making sure that they are adequate to the season that I'm in and supporting the person that I want to become and not just maintaining the old version of my life.

And that does take a lot of self reflection.

So don't expect to get that perfect right away.

I mean, I have been working on this now for a year and I just now feel like I'm getting the groove of every single week.

I just check in with myself and be like, does the my morning routine still work or is it, am I just doing it just out of habit?

Does my evening routine still work?

Are my work hours still working?

Like, does the way that I look at my week still work?

And you have to edit and change things quite a bit.

But I just think having such a, an awareness of it and knowing that it's okay because I do think, especially in the productivity space, it is very easy to read a book and they tell you a certain way to do it and you feel like, okay, now that I know how to do this, if I do it once, then I have to do it like that every single day for the rest of my life.

And that's why I love the way that I think about systems, is I want a system in place so that in a couple of days, if I find it doesn't work for me, I can tweak the parts that don't work, but I still haven't found foundation.

And so to me, that's just why it's really important for you to constantly be looking at your systems and evaluating them not from a place of judgment, but just from a place of, hey, is this actually supporting me?

Like, is this actually helping me get to where I want to go?

Or am I just doing this out of habit because I feel like I have to because someone told me to do it on a podcast or I read about it in a book or, you know, a mentor told me to do it, Whatever.

It is, just constantly self evaluating and being really honest with yourself about like, hey, does this actually help me?

Boundaries.

I have talked about boundaries on the podcast, but I have had to say no even more in the last few months than I ever have before.

It is one thing that has certainly stretched me outside of my comfort zone.

Once again, I am a Southern girl.

I like to make everyone happy.

At least try.

I am also from the customer service industry, so I really like to make everyone happy.

And it has been very difficult for me, both from a professional and personal perspective, to disappoint so many people all at once.

It hasn't been fun.

I have really had to, you know, talk to my therapist about this and I've had a journal about it a lot.

And it is definitely getting easier.

For sure.

I am able to say no to the small things pretty quickly now.

It's the bigger things and it's those last few identity shifts that I myself am working through.

When someone pushes against those or when someone questions them or tries to negotiate with me on those internal struggles I'm still dealing with, that's where I am quick to let my boundaries down and let my standards down and just be like, okay, you know what?

Yes, I'll do it.

And so that is kind of almost like I feel like the final piece of my boundary puzzle is those last few internal struggles of me wanting to make everyone happy and wanting to be the people pleaser.

When someone pushes against those, I'm pretty easily broken on that.

I'm like, you know what?

That's fine.

I'll just.

I'll just ignore that boundary for the day and I'll do that.

And you know what?

It blows up in my face every single time.

But I do think when you're.

When you.

When you.

When you do not listen to your boundaries and you don't uphold them and it blows up in your face, I think that is such a good learning lesson.

And I think every time that happens, if you're aware of it and you're reflecting on it, the next time that you're met with someone who is trying to push against those boundaries, you can be like, you know what?

The last time I did this, it was a nightmare.

And I told myself I was not going to do this next time.

And so I do think it is one of those muscles that you can develop.

But that's something that I just really tried to stick to my boundaries, stick to my standards, step away from old habits, step away from old, you know, ways of working, step away from old social circles.

I have really just tried to not be anchored in the past version of myself.

And then the third way that I have structured my life to support evolution is through my inputs.

I have become extremely militant about what I allow to enter my mind and my environment.

I used to be someone who had an extremely messy car all the time.

My apartment was always messy, even when I moved in with Will.

He is, like, very ocd.

And so it really bothered him when I first moved in because I just had stuff everywhere.

And I've just always been, as far as physical things, very cluttery.

Like, if you looked at my computer, you'd be like, man, that thing is, those files are organized and I like everything.

I don't have notifications, but.

But then you look in my physical world and it's like, oh, a tornado went off.

And over the last year, I have really.

We have decluttered the whole entire house.

I have really been careful about what I bring into the house.

So I don't really go to TJ Maxx anymore just because I'm going to buy something if I go in there.

And I've been.

I've been trying to be extremely intentional with everything we bring in the home.

So if I bring something in, it needs to either add value or be something that I'm just like, oh, my goodness.

Like, I love that it's.

It.

It's not bringing value necessarily, but it's bringing me joy and everything else.

I'm just like, you know what?

That thing is cute, or that thing is fun, or, I liked that ad, but I don't need it.

And I have also been extremely careful about what I've allowed in my mind.

So.

I love music.

I love music of all kinds.

I absolutely love music.

I've always been a music girl, but I have tried to be really careful, especially in the last couple of months, the music that I'm listening to and ensuring that the lyrics are not necessarily, like, positive.

I don't think that that is always the direction to go, but just ensuring that they are not, like, rewiring my subconscious in a way that I don't have control over.

So I've been trying to not listen to music that is very, like, victim mentality or that is just, like, inherently negative or, like, has negative undertones.

I've just really tried to listen to the lyrics and, like, if something feels off, I'm like, you know what?

I don't need to listen to that song.

Like, I like the beat, but I don't know.

Those words just make me a little uncomfortable.

Same with TV shows and movies and books.

I used to think that a book was a book.

Like, I would just pick up a book and read it because there's a book in my hand.

And now I am very careful to ensure that everything I'm reading is supporting that future version of myself.

So whether it is a thriller or a personal development book or a business book, like, I'm not limiting myself only to, like, oh, I can only read business books from here on out.

But everything that I read, I just want to make sure that it is high quality and it is doing something to stimulate my brain.

Instead of me just numbing out by reading the book or numbing out by watching the TV show or numbing out by watching the movie.

Like, I want it to be something that really brings me joy and brings some kind of emotion out, whatever that is, instead of me just blindly looking at the TV and not really paying attention to it.

And then I'm still going to deal with the effects of whatever that show is, whatever that movie is.

So if they're like murdering people on the movie, even if I'm not paying attention to it, like, that is still impacting me.

And so I have just.

You don't have to get that deep.

But I have tried to be extremely careful about what I watch and what I listen to and not just have something on in the background, just to have noise.

And I have seen a drastic difference as far as my anxiety and my racing thoughts.

Like, the thoughts are not racing as quickly.

They're still racing, but now they're racing with like opportunity and new ideas versus a spiral of the world is ending and everything is terrible and there's no hope for anything.

And I think a big part of that has had to do with me being extremely careful about the input that I have in my life.

Now you may be asking yourself, when you were looking at all of this and you are trying to decide and make decisions on, okay, does this support my future self or does this keep me stuck, stuck in that past version of myself?

You really have to fine tune your decision filter.

And one thing that you can start asking yourself is, does this keep me stuck in who I've been or does it move me closer to who I'm called to be?

And I think this is really helpful from helpful for me because at a certain point I was expecting when I was met with a decision that decisions were going to be either good or bad.

Like there was going to be option A and option B.

One was going to be good and one was going to be bad.

And it was going to be very clear and very obvious.

And now that I am in this season of rapid growth and I'm still in this gap where I'm not quite where I want to be yet, I was left with a, okay, most decisions are not going to be good or bad.

Most decisions are not going to be black or white.

Most decisions are going to be in that gray area.

And so I have found that asking myself, does this keep me stuck in who I've been or does it move me closer to who I'm called to be be?

That has really helped me so much because I'll be super transparent.

I have been asked to do, I've been given opportunities to do certain things and to speak about certain things.

And I actually had someone who I met at a conference.

She, me and her just got to talking about, you know, different things, life and business.

And I told her that I really enjoyed systems and she she asked me, she said, would you, could we my company hire you to come in and look at all of our backend, like their systems as far as like how their marketing was communicating to each other and their business plans and everything were set up.

She said, and have you create a workflow for it.

So put everything in zapier, like set us up a notion dashboard and all the things.

She said, like we literally want you to take our business and basically organize the back end.

Which on.

And I told her, I said, let me think about it because on the face of it that sounds really exciting.

Like that's something that I am wanting to do.

I was like, I think I'm leaning towards that it would be great for my business.

The amount of money that she offered was really great.

And I was leaning towards saying yes.

But then when I sat down and I looked at my future vision and I thought about what I want, what I want my business to look like and what I want my business to feel like.

And I started running through what that process would actually look like.

There was a lot of very like hands on of me having to learn the why and the how about their business and the so many intricacies.

And when I thought about it, I was like, you know what?

Long term, I don't want to be doing the thing for other people.

Like I would love to empower other people to set up their own systems, but I don't want to be in the back end setting up systems for other people.

And I'll be super honest, that was one of the hardest nos I've ever had to say.

Because like I said, the money would have been incredible, but it would have been one of those projects that probably would have taken me about a month to do.

And when I say a month, I mean like a month of me working multiple hours a day on this one thing, being very focused, doing a lot of research.

You know, I would have been in that project for a total month.

And I was like, you know what?

Long term, I don't want this long term.

That is not what I want my business to look like and that is not what I want my skills skill set to be.

And so I had to say no to that.

Now that was not a good or bad decision.

Like there was no good or bad.

If I had done it, I would have gotten some experience, obviously money, it would have all turned out fine.

But I had to ask myself, is that going to keep me stuck in who I've been?

So who I've been has been very hands on very.

Oh, just let me do it for you.

Very micromanaging.

Very.

Like, oh, I'll just come in and I'll sweep everything up.

Y'all don't worry about it.

Like, I've been very.

The supports staff before, and that is not what I want my future to look like.

So asking myself, does this keep me stuck in who I've been, or does it move me closer to who I'm called to be?

Like, that decision filter helped more than me asking, okay, is this a good or bad decision?

It's like, well, it's not good or bad.

It's.

It's.

It's in that gray middle.

But asking myself, does this help me move to who I really want to be?

Does this get me closer to the life that I want, what I want my life to look like, what I want my life to feel like?

And I don't.

I think that's another thing that's not talked about enough, is how hard it is to say no to those things.

That would actually be a good opportunity.

But is it actually a good opportunity in the long run?

And is it actually a good investment or a good move or a good habit based solely on the future you and not just on current you?

And that is really hard.

But I just think, once again, having that awareness of it and being like, okay, this would be a difficult decision for anyone.

There are a lot of different ways that this could go.

There is not a good or a bad decision.

There is not a right or a wrong.

There is a, does this support my future vision?

And then, you know, you need to be confident in yourself and have faith in yourself.

And if you believe, if you're a believer, faith and I.

Something bigger than yourself, I think, helps a lot, too, because there have been times in the last year where I'm like, you know what?

I don't have a lot of faith in myself right now, but I do feel like I'm being led to do this.

And so there's been times where I've had to just put my hands up and be like, okay, you have my.

You have.

You have all of me.

Here's my full faith.

Don't let me down, please, because I'm going to look like a crazy person.

So I want you to start just asking yourself, where are you staying loyal to a life that no longer fits?

And ask yourself that often say, am I being loyal to this because it is actually moving me forward, or am I being loyal to this because it's comfortable?

And then just a quick recap of this episode.

Evolution doesn't feel logical at first.

You might actually feel a little crazy, and that's perfectly okay.

That just means you're in the messy middle.

And hey, if you feel like that right now, you're here with me.

So we're in this together.

You're not broken, you're just growing.

And the friction that you feel isn't a sign to stop.

It's a sign that you're standing at the doorway of your next level.

So if you feel like you are outgrowing your old routines, your old goals, that old version of success, it's because you are ready for more.

I hope you got some value out of this episode.

This one was really fun to to record because I feel like I'm just like giving you a full behind the scenes of how I'm feeling right now.

And I hope that if you're feeling this way or if you are feeling some resistance about change at all, that maybe this episode just gave you that permission slip to be like, you know what, it's not just me.

This is just part of the process.

So I hope you have a great rest of your day and I'll see you in the next episode.

Episode thank you for tuning in to the Elevated Edit podcast.

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