The Grow Your Private Practice author and podcast host, Jane Travis, shares her ideal and actual daily self care practices (and we chat about how much we dislike the term self-care even though it's essential).

Which of Jane's favourite ideal and actual elements are your favourites?

a) being kissed awake by a handsome man (woman / non binary person)?

b) luxuriating in a skincare routine that helps your skin?

c) setting boundaries with yourself (around time) as well as with others?

d) prioritising relaxation, beauty and pleasure?

Let us know in the comments :)

TODAY'S GUEST

Jane was a counsellor for 14 years and knows how hard it can be to attract clients. Now she’s helped hundreds of other therapists to grow a profitable practice out of their passion.

She runs the Grow Your Private Practice membership, produces The Grow Your Private Practice Show podcast and is the author of the Grow Your Private Practice book.

She lives in beautiful Lincoln with her grown-up kids and dog, Kim.

Links:

Membership www.growyourprivatepractice.co.uk

Website www.janetravis.co.uk

Book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Grow-Your-Private-Practice-Travis/dp/1692305522/

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/growyourprivatepractice/

LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/janetravis/

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/CounsellorBiz

WHO AM I?

I'm your producer and host, Eve Menezes Cunningham, author of 365 Ways to Feel Better: Self-care Ideas for Embodied Wellbeing (Pen & Sword, 2017), freelance journalist and Editor-in-Chief of the Irish Journal of Counselling and Psychotherapy.

I'm also an online trauma therapist (with lived experience), supervisor and Self care coach (integrating yoga therapy, NLP, EFT and crystals as appropriate) helping people connect with and take better care of their Self. Past Chair of BACP Coaching, I run Feel Better Every Day with Eve Menezes Cunningham (aka selfcarecoaching.net).

I started The Feel Better Every Day Podcast in 2023 because I realised that even with the focus of my work being self and Self care (for 20 years now!), I often struggle.

And so do so many of my colleagues. We're all human! So I interviewed several of them including neuroscientists, authors writing about health and wellbeing, fitness professionals, therapists, coaches, energy workers and medical professionals.

We ALL have gaps and even gulfs between what we would LOVE to be doing for ourselves each day and what we actually do.

My hope with each episode is that you'll go easier on yourself and do something rather than nothing from your own ideal self or Self care repertoire.

Create a life you don't need to retreat from! Let me know how you get on! I really love hearing from y'all.

WANT TO WORK WITH ME?

You can access loads of resources at selfcarecoaching.net and your whole self is also very welcome to join Embodied with Evei at evemc.substack.com Even if you're listening to this later, you'll gain instant access to the rich archive of recordings from the time you join.

Thanks again for watching, listening, reading, sharing, commenting, reviewing, subscribing and joining us.

@thefeelbettereverydaypodcast @evemenezescunningham

Hi, I'm Eve Menezes Cunningham and welcome to the Feel Better Every Day Podcast, helping you connect with and take better care of yourself and create a life you don't need to retreat from.

Welcome to episode 31 of the Feel Better Every Day Podcast. Today's guest is the delightful Jane Travis, author of Grow Your Private Practice. She runs the group by the same name and she's a former counsellor who has been helping counsellors and therapists build their private practices for many years. She is sharing her self-care ideas with me, which include boundaries, beauty, and pleasure, and skincare. We also had a conversation about how we both dislike the term self-care, which is funny considering it's a big part of both of our businesses. We talk about what it means to us. I hope you enjoy the episode and that you will consider what it actually means to you as you listen. Enjoy!

Eve: Welcome Jane Travis, thank you so much for joining me.

Jane: It's an absolute pleasure to be here. Thank you so much for inviting me. It's always lovely to chat with you.

Jane: Well, I'm not working on anything new at the moment. I'm carrying on with my membership. As you know, I used to be a counsellor for 14 years, and I became more and more interested in marketing. I love the creativity of it, so I started getting a bit obsessed with it. Then I thought I could probably help other people with this stuff that I'm learning as well. I originally had the free Facebook group, which is how we met, and now I have a membership where people can pay monthly and get all sorts of training about how to run their practice. It's more about the marketing, less about things like setting up a business account and that sort of stuff that leaves me very cold. I'm more into the creative side about who you like to work with and how you can actually go about doing your marketing in a way that you enjoy.

Eve: Brilliant, and I'll include it all in the show notes. I remember I think of you often because when I was part of your membership, you would often say "a confused mind always says no."

Jane: Yes

Eve: I still like to confuse people! I still struggle to narrow things down.

Jane: There are so many things going on, aren't there?

Eve: That's kind of why I'm loving this podcast because it's bringing everything together with a really simple question. So, basically asking you, what would be your ideal self-care? Because you did a lot around self-care for counsellors as well, didn't you?

Jane: I did. It's a big question, isn't it? I could go on about this for days, to be honest. I used to have a blog called Self-Care for People Pleasers. Self-care has been something I've focused on, and I think sometimes we teach what we need to learn, don't we? I'm not good at self-care if I'm really honest. In an ideal world, I would be kissed awake by my handsome man. Maybe that won't happen, but I would wake up and have a beautiful breakfast, be surrounded by dogs, and do something with writing because I love writing. I'm just about to get back into doing Morning Pages. The self-care in my ideal world revolves around doing lots of relaxation, beautiful things, pleasurable things. That's the difference between self-care in an ideal world and the reality of self-care.

I think for me, I struggle with the term "self-care" because sometimes I roll my eyes a bit at it. Are you the same?

Eve: Totally. That's why I emphasise the uppercase "Self" for that highest, wisest, truest, most miraculous part of people. I think self-care has become so commodified, and ultimately, it's free. Everyone knows what to do, it's just we live in a society that conditions us out of it.

Jane: Yeah, something I used to do with the free group, if you remember, was a thing on Sundays called Sunday Self-Care. I'd ask, "What are your plans for self-care today?" The number of times people would say, "I'm not going to be doing self-care today because I've got to do such and such." I remember thinking, that's not what self-care is about. When you're really busy, that's more of a reason to self-care and find those little bits of time where you can think about your needs and get your needs met.

For me, self-care sometimes can become something that goes on your to-do list, a chore, and then it maybe loses the impact a little bit. Does that kind of make sense?

Eve: Yeah, I'm thinking about research around one of the healthy hormones created through things like exercise, but it was only created when the person enjoyed the exercise. If they forced themselves to work out, they wouldn't get those hormonal benefits. I think self-care, if it's used to bludgeon yourself, then it's just not going to work.

But I'm stuck on your being kissed awake by a handsome man! What of those things would be your reality? What are you not fit for humanity without doing every morning? What do you NEED to do?

Jane: One of the things I love about my lifestyle at the moment is I rarely have to set my alarm. I wake up naturally, which is really important because I think if I wake up at a certain time, that has an impact on me.

Eve: Do you mind me asking what kind of time you'd naturally wake up at?

Jane: Usually between about 7 and 8, sometimes a bit earlier, maybe between 6 and 8. I get up relatively early, and the way that I start my day these days is probably not what you'd get in a self-care book. I basically get up, have a coffee, and I go on a little game called Hay Day. It's for kids, you make a farm, and I kind of go on there. It's almost like a mindfulness thing. I've been using it for years, and I just go on there, have a little bit of time doing that. It creates a little bit of space, and then I try to start work at a relatively set time.

Eve: You're giving yourself time for something for you before your workday begins, which is brilliant. What about later in the day? What would be your ideal if you had the time and energy and space, and what are your essentials?

Jane: My essentials are... I suffer with eczema and I get horrible skin. It's always been a problem for me. Some years ago, I started getting really interested in skincare. I now have a skincare routine, and that makes up a really lovely part of self-care. I do it in the morning as well, but I close down the day by removing any makeup if I'm wearing it, cleansing, using whatever. There's something about that that is really nice self-care. I'm nurturing myself, looking after myself, spending time that's purely for me. To me, that's a great way to end every day with quite a simple self-care routine, but I do that every single day.

Eve: I'm imagining you really nourishing your skin with love and kindness and care. It sounds beautiful. You've mentioned a little bit about the challenges of self-care because I know it was part of your work. What do you wish more people knew about it? What one bit of advice would you give for listeners?

Jane: One piece of advice I think is about really being aware of what your own needs are. That's really what self-care is. If you listen to what other people say self-care is, then you're not necessarily going to meet your own needs. I think it's about learning how to listen to your own needs, what is it that you need, what is it that helps to nourish you. Again, some self-care isn't necessarily just about doing relaxing, pleasurable things. For me, one of the biggest self-care things that I do isn't very pleasurable - it's about having boundaries.

Eve: I was hoping you were going to say that because that's what I think of when I think of you and self-care.

Jane: Absolutely. Boundaries are massive. I used to be a massive people pleaser. For me, having boundaries is how I can help to alleviate that feeling that I have to do things for other people, I have to be there for other people. So for me, it's like time boundaries. I try not to get up really early and start work anymore, which I used to do. I try to finish at a certain time. I say to my members when they first join, I do a welcome thing and I've got it set out: This is what you can expect from me, I'm available for this, but these things I'm not available for. For me, self-care is knowing yourself, knowing what you need, and thinking about how you can make that happen.

Eve: Boundaries is one of those things that sounds easy to make, but enforcing those boundaries is not so easy.

Jane: It's quite easy sometimes to say no, you can learn how to say no, but if you say no and then they come back with "Oh, but what about whatever," then it's like, "Oh no, I didn't know what to do when that happens."

Eve: Thank you so much. Where can people find you? I'm going to put it all in the show notes as well, but for people just listening?

Jane: Sure. I do regularly blog and I have a weekly podcast if people want to listen to it. It's called The Grow Your Private Practice Show, so they can search that. You can find everything I do on JaneTravis.co.uk. As you know, I've got my book The Grow Your Private Practice book, so anybody looking to grow their private practice, I've got all sorts of both free and paid things that will help them. So yeah, pop over.

Eve: Absolutely, and thank you so much. I really appreciate your time.

Jane: No, again, thank you very much for having me.

Eve: Thank you for listening to this episode of the Feel Better Every Day Podcast. As you listened to Jane, I wonder what came up for you in terms of your own boundaries, both with other people and with yourself around time and other issues. Also, how you might bring more pleasure and beauty into your life, and how you might give yourself more space around your definition and expectations for your own self-care. This episode, like all of them, is produced by me, your host Eve Menezes Cunningham. I'd love it if you'd share it with someone you feel might benefit from it, and if you haven't already, rated, reviewed, subscribed, commented - I love hearing your feedback, so whatever you want to share, I very much welcome. I want to make it as beneficial as possible for people. Next week, I'm looking forward to welcoming the delightful Joanne Mallon.