What if I told you that the leadership lessons learned in the corporate world have a direct correlation to how we lead in our homes? Buckle up, because Dr. Stephanie Duguid is here to spill the beans! This episode is a treasure trove of insights as we explore the fascinating parallels between professional leadership and parenting. What makes Dr. Duguid’s perspective unique is her commitment to bridging the gap between these two worlds. She emphasizes that leadership isn’t about titles or positions; it’s about how we influence those around us, especially at home. As we traverse through the nuances of communication, we learn that the way we interact with our children shapes their future roles as leaders. The conversation takes a heartfelt turn as Dr. Duguid reflects on her mother’s legacy—an educator who inspired countless students not just through her curriculum, but through authentic connection and care. With practical strategies and real-life stories, this episode serves as a guide for parents striving to cultivate an environment of trust and open communication, ensuring that the values of leadership are instilled in the next generation.

Guest Bio - How can leaders transform not just their leadership—but the culture around them?

We’re joined today by Dr. Stephanie Duguid, a leadership expert who specializes in cultivating cultures of authentic leadership. She partners with organizations and small businesses to strengthen communication, navigate conflict with grace, and build impactful teams where trust, connection, and performance thrive.

With over three decades of experience as an educator, athletic trainer, and administrator, Dr. Stephanie brings both strategy and heart to her work. She is especially passionate about supporting women in leadership to serve with goodness, lead with greatness, and cultivate cultures of authentic leadership.

She holds a Doctorate in Educational Leadership and has received numerous honors in the field. She is also a keynote speaker, podcaster, and bestselling author of Exponentially Elevate Your Leadership Impact. Her mission is to not only provide purposeful strategies but to honor her mother’s legacy by helping leaders create meaningful impact through the cultures they build.

A gift from our guest: If you’ve ever walked away from a conversation with your child thinking, “That didn’t come out the way I meant it,” this will help.

I created a simple guide called One Conversation, Four Styles that shows you how different communication personalities hear and process conversations—so you can adjust how you speak, connect more easily, and avoid unnecessary tension during this transition. LINK: https://www.drstephanieduguid.com/1conv4styles

Stephanie's Facebook page

Stephanie's Facebook group

Bringing Education Home is an educational podcast brought to you by Kristina and Herb Heagh-Avritt.

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Copyright 2026 Kristina & Herb Heagh-Avritt

This podcast is hosted by Captivate, try it yourself for free.

I now have the pleasure of introducing Dr. Stephanie Duguid. Dr. Stephanie is a leadership expert who specializes in cultivating cultures of authentic leadership.

She partners with organizations and small businesses to strengthen communication, navigate conflict with grace, and build impactful teams where trust, connection, and performance thrive. With over three decades of experience as an educator, athletic trainer, and administrator, Dr. Stephanie brings both strategy and heart to her work.

She is especially passionate about supporting women in leadership to serve with goodness, lead with greatness, and cultivate cultures of authentic leadership. She holds a doctorate in educational leadership and has received numerous honors in the field.

She is also a keynote speaker, podcaster, and bestselling author of Exponentially Elevate youe Leadership Impact.

Her mission is not only to provide purposeful strategies, but to honor her mother's legacy by helping leaders create meaningful impact through the cultures they build. Welcome, Stephanie. It is a pleasure to have you with us here today. Thank you so much for joining us.

Absolutely. Thank you for having me. This is wonderful.

And, you know, when we start reading the bio and stuff, sometimes our audience is like, okay, but there weren't a lot of parents mentioned in there.

But that's okay, because everything we do with leadership, everything we do with women with moms, we want to make sure that that is translated into the family space.

And that's what Dr. Stephanie's coming in to help us with, is translating some of the things that she does within those corporate areas into the home. Because really, they parallel a lot.

And as you do anything, you do everything. So if you become a leadership in business, you become a leader in your home, you become a leader in your community, in your family.

So this is important. So. Because again, it ripples out. So as you learn these skills, they can. They can complement your entire life.

Absolutely. And one of the key points that I always share is the term leadership doesn't mean a position of a title.

It simply means the way that you influence one another. So being a leader is any space, as you both mentioned, that you hold, whether it's at home, in your church, in your community, in your workplace.

Being a leader is simply how you influence one another.

Exactly. And when we're being good leaders and good role models in our family, guess what?

Our children learn how to be good leaders and good role models in the future as well. So that is the major, major key.

So one of the things that's super, super interesting is that when we talked in our pre show, you talked a little bit about your mom and how your mom inspired you to do this work. Tell us a little bit more about that because it really makes that good connection for our moms at home.

Oh my goodness. My mother was an incredible human. She was a 40 year educator in a huge Texas high school, teaching government, economics and leadership.

So she saw every single student that went through that school and they had graduating classes between 200 and 300 a year way back when. But one of the other favorite pieces about my mom was that she was the welcome Wagon lady in our community.

So when somebody new came in, when a new member of the family came in, when somebody got married, she would go to their home, she would greet them, talk to them.

And I watched her as I was little, sitting on her hip make strangers into long lasting friends in the matter of minutes because of the way that she connected. And so not only did I see that, but I saw the impact that she set had on her students throughout her 40 year career.

And she still connected with those people long after they graduated. In fact, we were in Washington D.C. one time in Grand Central Station, a woman came down yelling, Ms. Rector. Ms. Rector.

My mother turned around and called that student by name. And she hadn't been in her class in 20 years. So she truly connected and cared.

She knew about their family, she knew about their struggles, she knew about their successes. And that just was ingrained in me as a young child. But I thought that's how everybody connected. And so I grew up thinking that was normal.

And when I became a professional, I realized that that wasn't normal and that's not how others connected. So I've always made it my passion and my goal to show people how to connect to the human factor. I lost my mom tragically when I was 27.

And it was at that point, that was a turning point for me, that I said, you know, if she can't continue her legacy that she started, then that's what I'm going to do in everything that I do is look for the opportunity, look for the positivity, and look for the way that we can learn and grow and build relationships together.

That's a really beautiful story. And your name fits. She sounds like an amazing Do Gooder. So she was funny.

So kind of makes you wonder is like how much did the name actually influence, like because, oh, that's the Do Gooder family. All right.

Well, my mom, you know, mine's my Married name. So I'm married into do good. My maiden name is Rector. Yeah.

So I found a guy that, you know, I didn't know how to pronounce his name at first, and he's like, how do you think you pronounce my name? And. And so I said, I think it's Duke. And he goes, that's right. I'm like, all right, this is probably the guy I'm going to marry.

That's amazing.

I love.

Yeah. If you look at the show notes, you'll see Dr. How Dr. Stephanie spells her name. Yeah. At first it's like, pause on that. And then.

Okay, that makes sense. After you look at it.

I said it right, right off the bat, I was like, man, I don't want to say that. I want to call it doo it or do it anything but. But do good. But then what you're doing is so good. So I was like, it fits.

So that's right. That's right.

So now there, I got my. I got my name teasing in for you. I get to tease people names because of that whole last thing is my last name. She.

So she gained it. Love that. Exactly.

So, you know, that communication piece is so super, super important. And we talk about leadership and how communication is a key factor in that.

And we're being leaders in our home, our moms and dads, the parents, et cetera. And. And then we turn that into how we communicate with our children. And then there's big changes that happen through the educational process.

When the kids are in the elementary grades, we do a lot more communicating for our children instead of letting them do it. And then when they get a little bit older, we try to get them to advocate for themselves and things like that. We back off a little bit.

And then we get to that place where, oh my gosh, they're about ready to graduate, they're heading off to college.

And there's this fine line because of that 18 year old and things like that and the teenage angst and all that different stuff about how communication really needs just kind of switch and change again. I really want to dig into that. How can we be strong leaders, pass off the proper skills and still have that communication happening?

Give it, give us an idea of where we can go from here.

Yeah, communication, you know, people use it as a single term, but it is such a complex thing. You know, most people assume I'm talking, you're listening, we're communicating, but that's not really what it is.

So communication involves not only verbal and non verbal. So Whenever we say verbal, that is the speaking or the terms, the words. But verbal is also the written word.

Things that are in text, things that are in emails.

And when you get to the non verbal side, you're talking not only about your facial expressions, your body language, your posture, your tone, your intonation, and think about the environment that you're speaking as well. So when you bring those things together, it is a whole system of communicating to one another. But now we have all these different channels too.

It's no longer face to face. We have old school as the telephone. Now we have the cell phone, we have texting and email and digital spaces and social media.

And so there is, there's so much communicating going on, but it doesn't mean that it's truly affecting effective communication.

So whenever we're in the home, you know, a lot of times we adjust the way that we communicate in our house versus when we're out in public or when we are at a place of employment. So our communication tends to shift.

And I don't know about you, but most times when you're at home, you're the most comfortable and so you don't feel like you have to be on all the time. And so your communication tends to slip, if you will.

And you might be more abrasive or more, not as, as professional, if you will, whenever you're speaking at home.

And so I let my guard down and I trust these people. So I don't have the polish on, just do it.

That's right.

So that's where sometimes our levels of communication get challenged because we might say something to our spouse or our children, because it's a reaction rather than a response as we would in public somewhere else.

So I really encourage parents that as you're speaking to your children, think about, is this the way that I would treat somebody else outside of my home? Is this the way that I would treat, you know, a person coming to my front door or somebody that I met in the community.

And I'm not saying that you're treating them poor, poorly. I'm just saying that the way that we communicate, and you said it exactly right, Herb, is that you let your guards down.

But I feel that with children, they are going to behave from what they see modeled. So if you are modeling a different format of communication at home, they're going to carry that forward.

So it's really important that you stop and think about your words. And now are your words just things that you are asking them to do something? Is it a process?

Is it, Are you showing your emotions that you care for them in the process, Is it that you're asking about them as a human before you get to what they are doing or not doing?

And especially in school, whenever they're trying to learn, are we really focused on how the student is learning and their successes and strengths, as opposed to focusing on, they're not learning the way that I learned, so something must be wrong. And looking at their weaknesses and only focusing on those. So there's a lot of things there.

Yeah. One thing that you missed, too, is children change a lot in 18 years.

Absolutely.

Parents don't change quite as much. They do. They do.

They change a lot, but not in the same ways as the kids do, because a lot of our habits, a lot of our unconscious patterns are more cemented in. And so these children are changing.

And so it's like you have to communicate with them one way one week, and the next week you might have to communicate with them differently. And so.

Absolutely.

So there's this point where it's like, okay, I have to tell my kids what to do because they're not capable of making decisions. And then when they are capable, it's like, I'm still telling my kids what to do because I haven't grown with them yet.

And then there is that scary point where they turn, like, 16 or 17, and everything they learn, they're just become dumb as a rock. And it's like it just. And so then it feels like you have to start telling them what to do because they are not making good choices.

So there's a lot more to it than just, I have to have a doctorate in communication to be able to figure out my kids through the years.

Oh, absolutely. And so you mentioned something that they do grow through the years, But I think it's the way that you approach your kids.

As you mentioned, when they're younger, you have to make a lot of decisions for them. But what I really focus on is as they start to get older, I like to ask the questions, you know, what are you wanting to do?

Or how do you plan to do this? Or what is your thought process here? And so I've opened it up so that they have that skill and that idea.

And when that comes across positively, I'm like, great. And you support them and you move forward. When it comes across and it's negative, then you're like, okay, well, let's think about this a little bit.

I've got some more experience than you do, but it's having the demeanor that, you know, I'M willing to be your partner in your journey for growth. And that's the way that I've raised my kids is as they got older, I started to ask them how they would respond to something.

I started to ask them for their next steps or their decisions. And even I have a 16 and a 17 year old. So you were talking about that age range. My kids are awesome.

I love my kids because I have raised them in a way that we were always open and we're positive. And I even had somebody over at the daycare when they were little saying, why are your kids so happy when they walk in here?

And that's just the way that we are in our house, because we are open, we are engaging. I celebrate their successes. They know that they are loved for who they are, no matter what. But if they have, we have high expectations.

And so if they don't necessarily meet that expectation, we have a conversation about it. It doesn't go immediately to a he said, she said.

And it doesn't go immediately to, I said this because it is a conversation because that's how you have to be as you're getting to be an adult.

So translating this from being the, the parental figure to now they're going out on their own and you almost have to be the manager or the sounding board. That is a change of skill set. And it's very hard, not only as a parent, but also learning a new language because there is a language in education.

I mean, there is one whether you homeschool or, or, you know, however you, you support your students as they're younger. But once they get into an educational institution, there is a whole other language.

And so it's making sure that you are understanding that language, finding people that will share and break down that language with you and, and then how to support your students along the way.

So my son's friend group, our house was pretty much their central station. So they all hung out with five teenage boys constantly.

And I've become estranged from my son, but I still see his friends sometimes and they come up and thank me for the way I communicated and helped them.

And they still talk about some of the, the ways that we handled situations in our home and also the fun stuff because I would like know that there was a bunch of Boys and McDonald's would have like their hamburgers on their chicken sandwiches on sale for a buck a piece and I'd buy like 40 of them and come in with two bags and throw them into the living room. And by the time I walked to the kitchen, there was 40 empty wrappers. So those were the best times.

Yeah, absolutely.

A lot of it had to do with, though, that trust that was built. Right. It's about not telling them always what to do.

But having those conversations exactly like you said, and being curious is like, that didn't turn out very well.

Maybe.

What could have you done differently? Or you're planning to do this, how do you want to do it? Just exactly what you were saying.

And my conversations were like, okay, I'm not keeping track on where you're going. I just want to know where to look for the body and if you don't make it there.

So if you're going from one friend's house to another friend's house, you tell me you're moving. I'm not going to say yes or no. I just want to know where to look for you. So we had this thing where it wasn't. I wasn't checking in on them.

And there was also. The second major rule is, like, when you're in my car, it's like, there's no playing in the car.

You're taking the car to where you're going to go playing. So if you start screwing around in my car and you get my kid killed, you're done.

You're in trouble.

So the car is not a play play. So those are like my two rules. If you're moving, you tell me, and you don't mess around in the car, because that's the most dangerous time for kids.

And other than that, it was like, it was open communication.

Well, and I think that what you're talking about is checking in so that you know where they are. That's just common safety. You know, My husband and I do that. We were. I was raised in Houston, Texas. He was raised in Phoenix, Arizona.

And so we're used to big cities. And so our kids saw us saying, all right, honey, I'm going to the grocery store. All right, I'm leaving the grocery store. So, I mean, we.

We do that just so that we know where we are, and we have always done that. And so we expect our kids to do the same thing again. It's part of that modeling that is out there, you know?

Yeah, we're both Gen Xers. The story about Gen Xers, it's like, my parents were gone in the morning, and we were on our own, and it's like, they didn't. Yeah, we.

It was feral, the hose, drinking out of the hose. You played with who you found. It was like, come back at dark. So they don't have to go looking for you. And that's right.

There was an advertisement on television. Television went off at 10 o' clock every night. The signal stopped and the last thing they said was, do you know where your children are?

Yeah, they had to remind my parents that they had kids. So, yes, it has come a long way and we didn't have those tools. We, we built some of them along the way.

And listening to you talk, there's like, oh man, we could have done so much better.

Yeah, well, you know, these have made a big difference. Cell phones have made a huge difference.

And they have all those apps, you know, the life360 and the low jack on the cars and, you know, all these other things. Kids really can't get away with anything these days.

You know, I always joke and say, thank goodness we didn't have cell phones way back when, when I was a kid. But.

I don't know, I made a lot of money. As many near death experiences.

Yeah, I, I'm sure you would have.

But when we get back and talk about the parents and how they are shifting, especially once you get to that junior high level where the students are getting their own voice and they are starting to get more social and have influences from the outside all the way up through high school, you know, you kind of see the role of the parent shift. I hope that it's not always confrontational because that tends to push individuals away.

As you mentioned, having open conversations is one of the best ways.

But even when I was a college administrator, one of the things that I would see is that a lot of times parents became the best friends of their children rather than the parent of their children. And so they were known as the helicopter or even the bulldozer parent.

And if you've never heard those terms before, you may have in everything that you've done. But those that are listening, I, I.

Would, I've seen helicopter parents. I wouldn't call them friends.

No.

Well, I have seen some that they are friends, but they're wanting to do everything for their student or for their child so there's no friction for that student or child to go to the next level.

For instance, when we have somebody that comes into the school and maybe they don't get the grade that they're supposed to get, instead of the student going to the teacher and asking what's going on, knowing that the student may, may not have turned in certain assignments, they would rather give the phone to their mother. Their mother calls me the dean and says, why did my Student not get this grade. Oh my gosh.

And so those are the helicopter type parents because they haven't released that, that rain, if you will. And then we also have the bulldozer parents that come in. They're making all the decisions, they're telling the student what to do.

The student has no voice whatsoever. And then they get into school, they're not happy, they're wasting time, they're wasting money, they're wasting resources.

And then they end up quitting school because it's not what they wanted to do in the first place or that's not the major that they wanted to follow in the first place.

So I really encourage parents before they go off to college or go off to a trade or go off to a job to have that conversation, a real conversation where the parent is open to whatever the student decides where, where there is not a lot of friction if they don't decide to be the doctor or the engineer or the what have you really listen to your students? Because a lot of times parents are like, well I was an engineer, you need to be an engineer.

And as the administrator I say, well, their ACT score is a 12.

They're not going to be an engineer right now unless they take a whole lot of classes and they really get their grades up and they really do X, Y and Z. So have those conversations. Be open, ask questions, look for resources, find an ally that you have that's in that educational space.

They can help you navigate some of those things and give you options.

Just because you can't go to engineering school doesn't mean there aren't engineering like professions that you could do that might take less time, that has a different trajectory or a different opportunity.

So, so kind of a different question in case you're watching this with their parent and their parent is a helicopter or a bulldozer. Let's give those kids hope. Have you been able to change a helicopter or a bulldozer with communication? If.

Because it's like there's a lot of times where those bulldozers and those helicopters don't see it, they don't know it. And if you try and bring it up there, there is this spot that they just have no self awareness. So yes, how can you.

Or if a parent is seen in themselves because of this conversation, what can we help?

How do you start that? Because that, that is, that, that's, that could be a big trigger and lots of emotional trauma and lots of history around that.

So how do we start to change that? Like oh man, I'm. That way. I don't want to be that way. But every time I try, I'm right back here.

I can't help it because my kids are this way and they're that way and it's like, no, it's about me. So.

Right. So there are a couple things that I'll say and I'm going to share it with you first from the administrator standpoint.

So I would have parents that would come in and they would say I want to know what my kids grades are. Well, once they hit 18, there is something called FERPA which is F, E, R, P, A. Don't ask me all the acronyms right now.

I'm not going to jump into that.

But FERPA means that if a student is 18, that I am not allowed to talk to the parent about their grades or their activity, their behavior, anything, unless I have the students permission to do so.

So when I have that parent call me and I say I'm sorry, I can't share that information, they get angry because they said I'm paying for college, that is my child, I want to know where they are. I'm not allowed to tell them.

And so that's the first piece of information I would share is that there are federal regulations that once your student turns 18 that we are not allowed to speak with you unless we have that student's permission.

Yeah.

So that would be the first conversation.

If you're not going to talk to us, we shouldn't have to co sign their federal loans and stuff that if I'm going to pay for it, you're going to tell me. And here's the other thing.

Simple form. It is a simple form to sign if the student is willing to do it. But that is the first conversation that I have to have with a lot of parents.

They come to my office angry. They come with their student angry and we sit down and have a conversation and share. That's the first thing that I share.

If your student is willing to just sign this. And a lot of times the students just forget. They just forget.

And so now on the majority of applications, whenever you're submitting information, there's a checkbox that says only check this if you do not want us to talk to your parents. So it's kind of a role reversal. But once we get through that. Yes, once we get through that it is really saying, all right, here is where we are.

We have to treat college like a job. So mom or dad, would you walk on the job site and ask if Johnny was attending work or Would you walk on the job site?

And I know it does, but would you walk on the job site and ask about the bills that they have or what they need to pay or what's going on there?

And so if you think about college as a job because you have to show up, you have to do the work, you have to do all of these other things and think about it in that format that sometimes the parents are like, oh, no, I wouldn't walk into the boss's office and say, is Johnny doing his work if it was a job. They just think that school is just something different.

And it's because of how we have to support them up to the matriculation date once they graduate high school. But it's a whole different arena once they leave.

And that's, you know, it goes back to what we were talking about, how we talk to our kids different from age of 0 to 3, right? And then from 3 to 7, and then from 7, you know, is that change of communication, that change of letting them grow and explore and do things.

But I love best what you say about college actually being like a job instead of school. Because it is, it's a totally different ball game.

Whenever my brain went to, it's a job, but I'm paying them.

But, but, but, I mean, in, in K12, students are required to go to school until a certain day. It's law that you have to be in school until a certain age. Right. Or get your parents permission to leave sooner. In college is volunteer, voluntary.

You have to pay to go there. That is what you choose to do. So if you don't show up, I can kick you out.

And so that's why we say it's more like a job, is that you have to do the work to earn the right to stay.

I like that.

My husband was the dean of.

I went to college to find her, graduated.

Well, my husband was dean of career and technical education and, you know, career and technical. Their goal is to prepare you for a job.

And so if you can't show up to class, if you don't do your work, if you can't work well with others, if you can't communicate, then you're not going to find a job.

And so when they would come in his office for the same things, maybe absence, they were absent all the time, they didn't complete their work, they were failing something. And they would beg him, just put me in class. He's like, no, you were just fired. You missed enough classes that you're just fired.

So unless you can prove to us that you can show up and be that individual and really focus on the work at hand, then you're not going to succeed at this job. Nobody is going to hire you. And so that's really what it is.

This is the transition from school to being a contributing member of society, positively contributing member of society. So that's where, where that range ends.

So I think it's kind of a problem that there's a lot of kids getting into school in that shape or getting to college in that shape. How can we.

Because, wow, it used to be a high school education, qualified you for jobs and now it's like you can't even get a barista job without a college degree.

So how do we start shifting the education to the high school so that they are more prepared for college, that they are more ready, that when they get there they can function better than they are now?

So a lot of that comes down to being involved and, and let me just share what I mean by that.

So when you and I were younger, you know, we didn't have all the games, the social media, the digital spaces, the, you know, just the access to so much that kept us in our phone, in our iPad, in our computer that really keeps us isolated. You know, we had more of a human connection and we could gain those experiences.

As you mentioned, you left when the sun came up and you came home when the sun went down. And in between those were your life lessons. Well, our students aren't getting a ton of life lessons.

If you think about school when we were younger, reading, writing, arithmetic and pe.

Yeah.

Now most schools don't have pe so where are the students outlets? Most of the schools are really focused on college preparedness and test ready rather than student ready.

So when you're looking at some of the challenges, a lot of it is the educational system. And I know that, you know, a lot of your listeners aren't in the, the traditionally structured educational system.

And for some students that's amazing that they're not in that because maybe they are more active and they're getting involved.

But I do encourage your students to be involved in whether it is a organization, whether it is community service, whether it is some sort of activity, whether it's organized sports or intramural sports, getting to interact with others, learning how to communicate with others when your parents are not around, and making sure that that communication is appropriate. So I have a son, I have two sons and one of them, he might say something to me, but it's the way that he would have communicated with a friend.

And I'm quickly to say, how would you like to rephrase your, your answer? He look at me and I said, that's how you speak to your, your friends. I said, how should you speak to me? And he'll rephrase them.

Said, okay, now let's just remember that when you're talking to adults, it's this. When you're talking to kids, it's this.

So being able to pause, respond rather than react because I could have said, what in the world are you talking to me like that about?

Yeah.

Or how would you like to rephrase that? There are differences in the way that you do that.

So I think that support, whether you have a church, whether again you have a community, whatever you focus on as a family, those things are going to prepare you better when you get to the college level because you've had some independence, you've had to have some decision making skills. And if we can get away from electronics, you know, my kids do not have a TV in their room. They don't have any of their electronics in their room.

They don't have games in their rooms. I make them. That is their sanctuary. If they're on any of those things, they're in the community space with us. And it's limited.

That's actually my youngest. Yeah, my youngest doesn't even have.

We started that rule 30 years ago with our kids. We don't have exactly in our room. We don't have our phones in our room. It's like, no, that's, that's right.

And that makes a huge difference. And so my oldest has social media because that's how the college that he's going to communicates with him.

But my younger one, who's just one year younger, he doesn't have social media because he's not at that level yet.

But I think that is where you start is having those boundaries around the way that they communicate and the way that they have interactions online line. So setting those boundaries and those expectations.

And one of the hardest things that I've seen with parents is they get tired, they get tired of fighting it because, well, my friends have this, well, you know, your friends are not my child, you are my child. And these are the boundaries and this is why we do it and this is how we're going to do it. But it's also being consistent.

You know, our kids, we didn't have our kids until later in life, so we are considered older parents, if you will. And so my kids always thought that, oh, gosh you and dad are just so strict. I can't believe how strict you are. You won't do this, that.

I mean, we were never mean to them or, you know, none of those things, but we had more restrictions on them. We didn't let our kids run around at 2 o' clock in the morning in the sixth grade. That was just not something that we did.

Yeah.

So now that one is graduating, he looks back, he goes, you know what?

I see that you were just sharing your love with us and sharing your concern with us and you were encouraging us to, you know, develop as a human and teaching us how to communicate and right from wrong and structure and all of these other pieces. And they see it now and it makes such a difference because they'll look at some of their friends and like, oh, yeah, yeah.

Their parents didn't, didn't do that with them.

Yeah. The last major brain changes in human beings happens between like 27 and 29 at the 28 area range.

And you learn regret and you learn a touch of wisdom because you can look back at what you did and go, holy cow, now I survived. That's why most people actually, or most people have kids when they're too young to do that because if they get to that point, it's like, oh my gosh.

But, but being a little bit older parents is. You do have that. A different level of maturity and wisdom. So. Yes. And, and I've seen that as well. So.

Well, and, and the other piece that I would say is curiosity is something that, that a lot of kids don't have anymore. If you ever listen to Neil DeGrasse Tyson talk, he always talks about the curious mind. And so we are so protective of our kids.

Think about the playgrounds when we were kids versus what playgrounds on are now playgrounds. You had the metal slide and you're burning your backside all the way down and you had metal toys and you had, you know, you had to make.

That decision at the top of the slide. It's like, oh, this is going to be hot. It's like, how do I adjust? What can I. You'd go down anyway, but you would try and minimize it.

So there was decision making. There was, there was, how do I get down from here as safe as possible.

Now we no longer have that. It's plastic or it is padded or it is weather protected or temperature protected or somebody's telling you not to do.

That or it's too high or it's.

That's right. So the cur, you know, one of.

The best things is like, I can't believe I got up this high. I shouldn't have said that to that girl. Now, how the heck do I get down from here?

That's right.

Set of instructions downloaded.

And so when you have to make those decisions and you suffer, positive or negative, when you suffer one way or another, you're not going to forget that. And that's what shapes us. And so the fact that we have been. Everybody has been very protective and more protective over the years.

A lot of our kids have lost that curiosity, and that's part of the growth and development to become independent and move on to that next level.

So I really encourage parents to, you know, instill that curiosity, even if it's in a controlled space, if you will, if you are one of those, but still try to instill that curiosity.

Absolutely. It's. Yeah, yeah. Like you were saying, it's so needed. Right?

And not only does the curiosity help with the life skills, but then you get that love of learning because you want to keep learning and keep exploring because, you know, you get the dopamine hit, the good kind of dopamine, right? You're getting that hit of like, oh, my gosh, this is exciting and fun, and they just learn something new.

So, yeah, that curiosity space, that learning environment where, you know, growth and learning is so, so important.

Well, and it's funny because now that we have Google and now that we have Chat GPT, I mean, the answers are at the. At your fingertips. I'll just tell a quick story, is that my husband and I, whenever we travel, we like to drive.

We just like to see the, you know, the landscape and whatnot. So we were driving over to Alabama. I'm in Mississippi, and I don't know if you know the Johnny Cash song. I've been everywhere, man.

I've been everywhere. Okay, so they were singing that, and.

I'm like, hotel six commercial.

Yes. Yes. So I'm like, I wonder if he's been every place. And I wonder if he wrote that, because I asked my husband, I said, has he been all those places?

He goes, yeah, I think he wrote that song. Google. Love Google. So you look up Google and you find out, no, he didn't write the song.

It was actually written by somebody in a different country in a different language. And then they translated that. But there's also a version for Texas. There's an I've been everywhere Maine with all of Texas. Yeah.

And of course, being from Texas, I'm like, oh, this is cool. So that piqued My curiosity.

And it was a five hour trip and about three and a half hours we were discussing that one song simply from that one question.

Oh, my gosh.

Google allowed us to do it and experience all of these things. So, you know, ask the question and keep searching deeper and hopefully that opens up more questions and more inquisition.

And, you know, sometimes it's on the positive side, sometimes it's on the negative side. And I'm just going to put this little aside. If it's for health reasons, please get a physician's yes. Input. Don't go down the WebMD or the, the.

I mean, it's good information for, for, you know, some things, but not for everything. Yes, but not for everything because my background's health and wellness. So I just wanted to make sure I threw that in.

A little information is not a good thing.

No, no. So just making sure that you use the things. But, you know, instill that curiosity.

If they ask questions, I always tell my son, I said, you've got Google. Look it up. You know, what do you find out? All right, if they ask me something else, I'm like, well, you, you ask the questions, you figure it out.

Because for us, card catalogs, microfiche, you know, you had to live in the library for hours and hours. When I was writing my dissertation, we didn't have all the Internet stuff. But kids, now they have a computer at their fingertips.

So encourage them to use it in a positive way. That's the whole big thing with AI. So many teachers were deathly afraid when AI came out saying, I'm going to lose my job.

These kids are going to cheat. What are we going to do? Well, change the narrative. How can they use AI to answer your question?

How can you use AI to show that it might not give all the right answers all the time? How can you use AI to give you a prompt to help you expand their knowledge or their horizons?

So there's so many opportunities shifting it from the problem to seeing how, how we can use it as a solution or an opportunity.

Yeah, I started working with AI this year and a book came out of it. And partway through working with this thing is like, oh, this is what you mean? And it. And it gave me is like what I thought I was trying to like.

It's like, no, I am trying to find the words to get you to understand what I mean. It's like, I'm not searching for meaning in you. I'm trying to get you to say what I need you to say. And so it was helping me Write the book.

It was giving me lots of words, but it's like it tried to take authority. It's like, oh, this is what you mean. It's like, no, no, this and this and this, and you combine that and then you get this thing out of that.

And so I, I struggled with it to, To. To take that authority. So it can take the authority or you, if you give it. And then. So AI is a tool.

It can be very, very helpful and it can get in your way, and you just have to pay really close attention when you're using it.

That's right.

And there are a lot of settings, so there are different types of AI, and some of them you can put in, you know, your themes or your voice or your ideas or whatever it is, and it can go off of that. So it's closer to what you're looking for. But at the same time, you have to make sure that it's still your own voice. Right.

And there's different types of AI. You know, Google has one and this other entity has one over here, and this other entity has one over here.

But it's realizing that it is a tool and the farther we go in our lives, the more it's going to be infused. So you can't be scared of it, you can't avoid it, and you can't forget about it, because it's going to be there.

So it's finding out how can you use it as a resource as you move forward. Because the majority of jobs that our kids are going to have in 10 years haven't even been invented yet.

So we have to be open and curious to what the opportunities are.

And the theme that's been running through the show is expectations, curiosity, using things in a different way, in a way that really makes the bond stronger instead of weaker. So think about that, how you're speaking with your children, how you're using tools in front of them, like the AI, whatever. Right.

And just really make sure you're bringing those themes forward in your family conversation.

And if you can, do it in stuff that your children enjoy. For instance, our kids were into video games, so we would have a video game night where we all joined an mmorpg.

We all played the same game, different characters, and we would form a group inside of it and we would go slay dragons.

Oh, I love that.

In the living room.

And so, yeah, back to back, facing each other on the screen, giving commands, talking about battle formations and groups and, oh, what we're going to do next. And let's go do this.

So there is a lot of communication that happens that you have to learn how in a game when it's fun and then as, as you come out of that game, some of those words and the way you communicate. Because life is a question, life is a game. And if you can gamify it that way, that that also helps.

That's so true.

And the other things that I might add to your takeaways are one, to learn to respond rather than react, you know, having that calm nature and then to be consistent.

Because if your kids don't know what they're going to get when they come to you, whether it's a problem, whether it's a solution, or whether it's just a simple question, if they don't know if you're going to blow up or if you're going to melt down or somewhere in between, then they're not going to come to you. So the more consistent you are, the more open you are and the more responsive you are rather than reacting, the better.

Yeah, absolutely. Dr. Stephanie, this has been amazing. Would you please make sure that you share out loud?

Of course everything is down the show notes, but share out loud.

How can families and people get a hold of you in case this has sparked a oh, I really need to ask her this or oh, I really think I need to work with her. Can you please share all that information with us?

Absolutely.

You can go to my website, which is www.doctorstephanydugood.com and do good is spelled D U G U I D. I'm also on LinkedIn at Dr. Stephanie Do Good and I'm on Facebook as well.

Beautiful. And any final thoughts?

What else did you maybe reach not get to that you wanted to speak to about with our parents or just a final kind of thought for us?

You know, my final thought is that, you know, parents grew up in one generation, their kids are grow growing up in another generation and things are changing by the second. And so realize that you both have very important knowledge that the other doesn't have. And so use that as an opportunity to bridge any of those gaps.

And communication is the way that you do it. So take time for those conversations. Take time to look for the strengths in one another and not just the weaknesses.

And take time to show that you care. And that's going to make all the difference in the world.

Is a beautiful message and I would like to thank you for being here today.

There are so many times where people run into these problems or run into these issues and they get the solutions and then they just deal with it and move on. And you have went out and you fought your dragon and you got your information, your gold, and you're bringing it back and sharing it.

And that's the hero's journey. Coming back to the community and sharing the important stuff to make everything better for everybody. That's the hero's journey and you are on it.

And so you are a hero. So thank you for what you do. Thank you for bringing this information out.

More people need to hear about this stuff and so thank you for being here today.

You are so welcome. Thank you for having me. It was great.

All right, audience, it is that time to, like, share and make sure you leave a review as well. As our podcast is growing and it's reaching more and more families, it's reaching more and more people that it can help every single day.

We want to keep this mission moving forward. Bringing education home is not just about families and learning.

It's about everything that we need to know to make sure we're raising our kids to be happy, healthy, and successful. So until next time, we will talk to you soon.

Bye bye for now.