Shownotes
Are you good at prioritising?
Or are you constantly putting pressure on yourself to achieve, even when the conditions aren't right to do that?
Have you let the mindset of brushing your priorities to the side effect every area of your life?
In this episode I talk about having a minimum effective dose, and how having a range to work within when talking about targets, can really take the pressure off.
Wrap your ears around it & let me know what you think!
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If you'd like a question answered here on the podcast, just send it in to hayley@food.ninja and I'll do my best!
And finally, if you'd like to hang out with a bunch of like-minded people, all focused on finding their version of healthy, you can join my FREE Facebook group here.
Transcripts
Hello, and welcome to the next
Speaker:And I'm just going to dive straight in because today I want to talk a little bit
Speaker:about priorities, and the pressure we put on ourselves to achieve stuff essentially.
Speaker:So with all of my clients.
Speaker:I get them to specify a minimum effective dose.
Speaker:Three things that they know that these are non-negotiables, they have to do these.
Speaker:Otherwise, it makes doing everything else really fucking difficult.
Speaker:So for example, My three things I need to do for my minimum effective dose.
Speaker:If I haven't got the capacity, or the Headspace or just the time sometimes
Speaker:to do all of the shit that I know I'm supposed to do to keep myself well.
Speaker:I've got this minimum effective dose that I go to.
Speaker:So for me, the first one is eating good shit.
Speaker:Most of the time.
Speaker:Because otherwise I find that it really affects my energy levels
Speaker:and it really affects my mood.
Speaker:If I eat an awful lot of stuff.
Speaker:That is not great for me.
Speaker:And, if I eat a lot of processed food in particular kind of melted cheese,
Speaker:Which is obviously fucking delicious on a pizza, which is really annoying.
Speaker:That kind of makes me feel sluggish.
Speaker:It makes me feel heavy.
Speaker:So for me, it's best for me not to do that because if I'm already having a
Speaker:difficult day, why make it even worse by.
Speaker:Making everything feel like it's really slow or like a massive amount of
Speaker:effort just because of what I've eaten.
Speaker:So that's my first The second one is I need to achieve something.
Speaker:Either in my business or.
Speaker:Some study or only to learn something new.
Speaker:So that I feel like I've progressed.
Speaker:I'm not sure if that's a good minimum effective dose thing to have, because.
Speaker:Obviously sometimes it's not possible to achieve stuff every day,
Speaker:but in terms of my mental health, it's really important for me to
Speaker:feel like I haven't wasted a day.
Speaker:I haven't achieved anything or I haven't moved forward.
Speaker:And sometimes, I'm much better now at realizing that sometimes the most
Speaker:productive thing that you could do with the days just fucking rest for.
Speaker:It's impossible to be super productive every single But if I'm able to
Speaker:either take something off my to-do list or learn something new or.
Speaker:Read a section of a book that's really going to help me with a client
Speaker:issue that I've got at the moment.
Speaker:There's also going to help the client.
Speaker:That's really important for me.
Speaker:And then the third non-negotiable for me is going outside.
Speaker:Every day.
Speaker:I haven't been very good at that lately.
Speaker:Cause you might be able to hear.
Speaker:My normal dulcet tones are not usually or not as they would normally be because
Speaker:I've had two really fucking awful cold man flu, actually I'm calling it because
Speaker:I did catch it off my other half.
Speaker:And I thought I'd got away with it was being a bit cocky
Speaker:Monday, Tuesday, last week.
Speaker:So we're still going to CrossFit.
Speaker:And I was like, yeah.
Speaker:Don't we know about it.
Speaker:Your mom flare week.
Speaker:And now I've actually got the mum flu.
Speaker:So I'll try my best, not to cough and splutter my way through this, but.
Speaker:Also because of this terrible mom I haven't been outside every day, this week.
Speaker:And that really affects my mood as well.
Speaker:Even when it's gray and cold and windy outside.
Speaker:I do like to be outside every day.
Speaker:It makes me feel energized.
Speaker:And also it's really good for, your circadian rhythms and things.
Speaker:If you are inside all day under artificial light.
Speaker:Your body's not getting an awful lot of environmental cues about what
Speaker:time of day it is, and whether it should be tired or alert or whatever.
Speaker:And I used to really suffer with insomnia.
Speaker:So doing whatever I can to make sure that my body knows at the appropriate
Speaker:times that it's time to wind down and go to sleep is really important.
Speaker:So those are my three non-negotiables Ian good ship.
Speaker:Most of the time.
Speaker:Achieving something every day.
Speaker:I'm being outside every day.
Speaker:So I was talking to a client.
Speaker:The other day we were talking about her minimum effective And
Speaker:she was talking about how hers is.
Speaker:It's basically gone out of the window this week.
Speaker:'cause she's got two kids.
Speaker:They've both been off school.
Speaker:Both these sick.
Speaker:And She's the kind of person who tends to Purcell at the bottom of the list.
Speaker:Anyway.
Speaker:Everyone in our house comes first, then her business.
Speaker:Everything in her life comes before she does basically.
Speaker:And she doesn't tend to value the time that she spends on herself.
Speaker:I guess that's the thing that I need to remind her the most about is, have
Speaker:I done some mental or emotional recovery activity, or have you been outside
Speaker:or, have you fed yourself sometimes is, one of the questions I ask But
Speaker:as I said, she had two kids off sick.
Speaker:And she'd really let her minimum effective dose So I was okay by
Speaker:next week, let's schedule in the minimum effective dose activities.
Speaker:I want to open your calendar.
Speaker:Let's do it.
Speaker:I'm going to give you some accountability for this.
Speaker:So we scheduled the stuff At the beginning of the week.
Speaker:And then I spoke to her again on Thursday and I said, hi, did you get
Speaker:oh, And she hadn't been able to keep to a minimum effective dose and we've
Speaker:traced back and we said why do you think that was after we planned the stuff in.
Speaker:For you to get it done now.
Speaker:What happened?
Speaker:So she was talking about a client who'd messaged And said.
Speaker:Listen, we really need to get this thing done.
Speaker:For Friday.
Speaker:But I will need to speak to you on Wednesday to make sure
Speaker:that it's reviewed before then.
Speaker:And she had, she works Monday to Thursday.
Speaker:Fridays, she has the day off to recoup.
Speaker:If you like to get ready for her.
Speaker:Other job, which is to look after her kids all weekend.
Speaker:So she'd relate this to the client.
Speaker:And then the client came back and said, okay, that's fine.
Speaker:I can't do any of those times though.
Speaker:But I can do Friday morning before the, before this needs to be ready.
Speaker:And then she said, okay, then she just booked it in.
Speaker:And she was just talking about how she was really angry with herself, that she'd
Speaker:done that because that is a boundary that she's normally really good at keeping
Speaker:which is, Friday, she doesn't work.
Speaker:Because she needs that kind of time to decompress from work and then get
Speaker:ready for having the kids all weekend.
Speaker:And I said to her, isn't that funny?
Speaker:That the week before.
Speaker:You stopped doing the things that you need to do your minimum effective
Speaker:dose to look after yourself.
Speaker:And as soon as you stopped prioritizing yourself and your health behaviors.
Speaker:It filter through, into your work life.
Speaker:Not only is she.
Speaker:Stopped doing her minimum effective dose and putting herself
Speaker:first in terms of our health.
Speaker:But when a client was like, oh, we can do that on Friday.
Speaker:When she knows that she blocked that out for herself.
Speaker:She again, just brushed her own needs aside.
Speaker:And said, yeah, that's fine.
Speaker:Now my bet, Ben, if she'd been doing her minimum effective
Speaker:dose and prioritizing herself,
Speaker:Already.
Speaker:I'm pretty sure she would have said actually, I've got
Speaker:something else on Friday.
Speaker:Can we do it another time?
Speaker:But she didn't because she got into the mindset of deciding at the time that
Speaker:she blocked out to look after herself.
Speaker:I wasn't important because she's not important.
Speaker:And so if you think, self care or whatever,
Speaker:Willie term you want to use for minimum effective dose or putting yourself first?
Speaker:What have you called out?
Speaker:If you think that's only to do with your health?
Speaker:Like you're wrong because it's a mindset and it will filter
Speaker:through to every area of your life.
Speaker:If you don't put your health first.
Speaker:And you don't put yourself first in that area.
Speaker:You won't put yourself first in any other area of your life.
Speaker:You won't put yourself first in terms of your relationships and things
Speaker:will, you can end up being a doormat.
Speaker:Because you don't value yourself all the time that you
Speaker:spend looking after yourself.
Speaker:I just thought it was really interesting.
Speaker:Hi that mindset filtered through to other behaviors and changed.
Speaker:Her priorities almost.
Speaker:And I think.
Speaker:Priorities and pressurizing ourselves to do certain things.
Speaker:It's a skill that you need to learn.
Speaker:I always talk to my clients about gas burners.
Speaker:In much the same way that we get them to.
Speaker:Look at a minimum effective dose.
Speaker:We do the same with their targets.
Speaker:So rather than saying.
Speaker:I want to do 10,000 steps every day.
Speaker:We look hard, what is the range?
Speaker:What's the range that you would be happy with?
Speaker:I would be happy if I did five to 8,000 steps every day.
Speaker:Because I know on the days when I've got shit to do, the minimum amount.
Speaker:I'll be happy with this doing five.
Speaker:I'll be ready over the moon.
Speaker:If I do 8,000.
Speaker:And by having those ranges, it gives you that flexibility to
Speaker:be a bit kinder to yourself.
Speaker:Instead of piling pressure on yourself to say, I must do 10,000 steps.
Speaker:I must cook all my food from scratch.
Speaker:I, I mustn't eat any takeaways.
Speaker:I must meditate for 30 minutes every day in breach fucking Nirvana.
Speaker:Otherwise I'm a failure, like whatever it is.
Speaker:Half these ranges.
Speaker:Because it allows you to prioritize yourself better.
Speaker:And to always be able to hit that minimum effective dose.
Speaker:And once you learn that skill of adjusting those gas burners,
Speaker:Of looking at, Hey, my work burner needs to be a nine this week.
Speaker:Therefore my exercise burner needs to be a six or, I'm not going to
Speaker:cook from scratch every night.
Speaker:We're going to You know, get healthy, ready meals two days this week.
Speaker:Cause that burner needs to be turned down.
Speaker:Learning to have that flexibility so that you can prioritize the
Speaker:right thing at the right time.
Speaker:Is probably the most important skill I help my clients with because.
Speaker:If you haven't got that flexibility, you're just going to end up beating
Speaker:yourself up all the time and thinking your shit person, because
Speaker:you can't achieve all of the things that you said you were going to do.
Speaker:Like, how can you achieve all of the things, right?
Speaker:Let's just say that you've got perfect week.
Speaker:And this take me for example, I've got a perfect week.
Speaker:I can go to CrossFit every single morning.
Speaker:I can do.
Speaker:12 to 15,000 steps.
Speaker:I could cook myself a really good lunch.
Speaker:I can, make dinner for everybody and make sure everyone's food is way to measure it.
Speaker:And everyone's got what they need.
Speaker:I could do my meditation.
Speaker:I can be there for my clients.
Speaker:I can.
Speaker:Create content.
Speaker:And I could do my fucking life out of me and whatever right.
Speaker:Let's just say, I can do that for a week.
Speaker:Why do you think that the next week is going to be the same?
Speaker:What's going to happen?
Speaker:Like I got this ridiculous fucking monthly, I haven't been able to do
Speaker:half the shit that I'd want to do, but we set ourselves these ridiculous
Speaker:targets where we're just like 10,000 steps every day without fail,
Speaker:regardless of whether I've got fucking mom flu or I've broken my ankle.
Speaker:Or whatever.
Speaker:Now I'm a failure.
Speaker:I can't hit my protein target.
Speaker:I must hit my protein target perfectly every day.
Speaker:Even when I'm going out to dinner at my friend's house and I
Speaker:haven't got control over the food.
Speaker:Like it's ridiculous too, to set yourself that exactly the same targets every week.
Speaker:Or to have targets that are continuously increasing all the time.
Speaker:Oh, good.
Speaker:I achieve 10,000 steps every day.
Speaker:This week.
Speaker:Now next week I must do 12,000.
Speaker:Like It absolutely astounds me that people don't look at what they've got going
Speaker:on in their week before they decide.
Speaker:What they can achieve, how they can achieve it and to be realistic about that.
Speaker:So yeah.
Speaker:That's my little short podcast episode this week.
Speaker:Just because my voice is really suffering.
Speaker:I don't think I can talk much more.
Speaker:I didn't think I'd ever say that.
Speaker:I didn't think that was a sentence I'd ever utter, but there you go.
Speaker:If you've enjoyed this episode, I would love it.
Speaker:If you would leave me a review.
Speaker:I would love to know your thoughts about whether you just set yourself the same.
Speaker:Goals and have the same expectations for yourself week to week.
Speaker:And whether you pile that pressure on yourself.
Speaker:By doing that, or do you flex and change your goals depending
Speaker:on what's going on in your week?
Speaker:If you have anything that you'd like me to talk about on the podcast,
Speaker:or you have a question for me, I would really love to do an episode
Speaker:where I answer people's questions.
Speaker:So you can send me a question.
Speaker:haley@food.ninja.
Speaker:And I will maybe collect those together and do an episode where
Speaker:I answer everybody's questions.
Speaker:That's it for this week.
Speaker:I would love to hear your thoughts and comments as usual, but until
