Synopsis:

Practical strategies for families when one parent works away. Part 1 is on the importance of naming your family structure to reduce stress and avoids future regret.

Part 2 highlights the power of using language that reinforces family experience and teamwork.

Part 3 looks at the triangulation relationship between At Home Parent, Travelling Parent and Child and how that helps reinforce bonds across the distance.

Keywords: travelling parents, connected family life, parent away from home, long-distance family

The first of a 3-episode series:

1. Episode 89 Recognise it for what it is
2. Episode 90 Reframe as WE
3. Episode 91 Re-enforce The Bond Across the Distance

These are mainly findings from my Masters thesis, where I interviewed adults who had grown up with a father who travelled frequently for work.

1. The Travelling Parent
2. Does not necessarily communicate with the Child when away
3. Is in communication with At Home Parent and Child knows it
4. Is always involved when home (outings to the park, hiking, biking, restaurant)

“I knew he cared because he cared when he was home”

1. Watch out for how technology can take away that presence from home time
2. The At Home Parent

The role of the at home parent was highlighted as crucial in the evolving and developing relationship between the travelling parent and the child.

1. Keeps Child informed of traveling parent’s whereabouts and comings and goings
2. Keeps Travelling Parent informed of what is happening with Child and makes sure Travellng Parent is involved in Child’s big event
3. Teaches communication between Child and Travelling Parent. Facilitates phone calls.
4. Positive Portrayal of Travelling Parent

‘My mum was putting up this really good image of my father that he is pretty much involved in our life, even though he physically was traveling. And the reason why he was, because of us, to give us a life that we did not have to worry about anything’

Consider your own triangular relationship.

Questions to ask yourself:

1. What do you and your partner communicate to each other about the Child?
2. As the At Home Parent how do you:
3. Portray the Travelling Parent to the Child?
4. Facilitate their relationship?
5. As the Travelling Parent:
6. How do you keep informed about your Child’s life, interests and needs?
7. What can you ask of your At Home Partner that would help you stay connected to your Child?

Find out how you can use the ICAN Model: Distance Parenting: How the ICAN Model Helps Families Stay Connected When One Parent Travels - Rhoda Bangerter

Contact Rhoda: rhoda@amulticulturallife.com

Receive news regularly on new episodes of HTFA Podcast and on new events and resources. Subscribe to my newsletter.

Buy the book: Holding the Fort Abroad

Your partner's job opportunity in another country seemed like an exciting idea, but lengthy work assignments mean you're holding down the family fort - alone.

OR Your partner is working and living in another country, and you feel like you are shouldering all the home responsibilities alone.

You may be wondering:

1. How can we be a family when we're miles apart?
2. Can I cope, alone, when troubles arise?

I believe there are answers to the above questions, and the answers start with you. In this context, it's more important than ever to invest in yourself, to care for yourself, to set your own goals and to watch yourself grow. Equally important is to nurture your relationship with your partner and learn to parent together.