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Steven Webb on Managing the Stillness In the Storms
Episode 292nd April 2021 • Podcaster Stories • Danny Brown
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This week, I sit down with Steven Webb, host of the Stillness in the Storms podcast, a show that helps you find inner peace at difficult times.

Each episode, Steven brings a different perspective and way of living life that eases your suffering. Being severely paralyzed is just a fraction of Steven’s mountain climb to find his inner peace. If Steven can sit with stillness, you can also.

It’s the first time, really, that being paralyzed really creeped up.

Steven talks about the moment that he hit rock bottom when he was forty. At that moment, it felt that his life had come to a grinding halt, and that he was going to be truly alone, and couldn’t see how his future was going to play out.

The Dark Night of the Soul

Steven talks about how, leading up to his darkest moment, he had been thinking about all the things that were going wrong in his life, and likened it to The Dark Night of the Soul, a poem by John of the Cross.

I was creating everything that was terrible in the world, and I was the victim of everything.

As Steven sank deeper into depression, he began drinking, and he shares how the embarrassment of needing to ask his carers to pour him a drink was a major turning point in getting his life back together.

On Living in Invisible Shame

One of the things that Steven pushed back on in his early years was the belief by others that he was doing something amazing or inspiring. If he heard people say that, he’d run away. But then he realized it was pretty amazing when it came to what he’s done:

  • Multiple charity challenges
  • Organizing music festivals
  • Running in politics and becoming the deputy mayor elect

Steven talks about how it took him a long time to accept people were being genuine, and not just saying or doing something out of pity for his disability.

I don’t look at it as incredible for being paralyzed to do that; it’s just incredible for me.

Why It’s Important to Reflect

In one of the episodes on Steven’s podcast, he talks about the anniversary of his accident - not just to the year, but the exact day and time that it happened. In that episode, Steven recounts the moments of the day leading up to his accident.

Steven does this every year, and as he mentions in our chat, he reflects more on that than he does his own birthday. He believes it’s because it was such an ordinary day like any other, until it wasn’t, that it remains so clear and so remembered.

It was just an ordinary day; but we never know when it’s the last day we’ll do that ordinary thing. 

How His Difficult Childhood Served Him Well for What Lay Ahead

When Steven was a young child, his parents were divorced, and he, his sister, and his mum were left homeless. 

At the time, he thought it was a big adventure and something cool - after all, they eventually moved into a big house. It was only afterward that he learned it was a refuge for women. This knowledge of having nothing and losing everything helped shape an important mindset for what was to come.

Those are the times that really decide who you’re going to be, and how you’re going to show up.

Join us for an open chat about loss, adversity, affirmation, consistent persistence, and why losing everything isn’t the end of the world.

Connect with Steven:

Contact me: danny@podcasterstories.com

My equipment:

Recommended resources:

Mentioned in this episode:

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Hey, this is Danny here from Podcaster Stories. Thanks so much for listening, and I'd love for you to get the latest episodes when they're released. So make sure to follow on your favourite podcast app, or hop on over to podcasterstories.com/listen. If you enjoy the show and want to leave a review, you can do that at podcasterstories.com/review to share your thoughts with listeners just like you. Thanks so much for being part of the Podcaster Stories community, and now here's this week's episode.



This podcast uses the following third-party services for analysis:

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Podtrac - https://analytics.podtrac.com/privacy-policy-gdrp

Transcripts

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But certainly it gives you a perspective of you, you

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know, if you've gotten nothing and you lose everything, you

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already know that you can lose everything and be okay.

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Even at that doorway, when I was quiet, you know,

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I had no money I had in in fact I

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had nothing. I didn't even have my ability to move

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forward. And it's been 40 years old. He literally bought

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it in your eyes, out in front of a public

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on a sunny Saturday afternoon. You don't get a much

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lower than that.

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Hi and welcome to Podcaster Stories. Each episode will have

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a conversation with podcasters from across the globe and share

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their story. What motivates them by the start to the

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show are the crucial And More will also talk about

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their personal lives. And some of the things that have

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happened, I've made them the person who you are today.

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And now here's your host, Danny Brown. Hi, and welcome

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to Podcaster Stories. The show that it meets the people

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behind the voices of the show. If you listen to

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this week, I have Stephen Webb from Trudeau in the

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UK. Steven is a host of the Stillness in the

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Storms podcast. A show that helps you find inner peace

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in difficult times. Steven, welcome to the shore. How about

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you? Tell us about yourself and your podcast.

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Hi, Danny. It's a pleasure to be here. Yeah, my

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podcast, I do. I do a lot of meditation, So,

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and really when I hit rock bottom, when I was

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40, I suppose a bit go a little bit further

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about than that. I, I often jumped straight to my

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rock bottom because that was the kind of the worst

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thing that happened to me. But when I was 18,

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I broke my neck and ended up paralyzed and I

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dived into a certain point. It was intro to where

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I live now, stay home and I kind of eye,

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I went to a hospital for 12 months. So when

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you come back and that kinda changed my whole life

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completely. I know you as an electric wheelchair, I come

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up and move my hands. I'm paralyzed.

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I'm the easiest way I would say I would never

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know, or wherever it was really politically correct, but from

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my nip who was down and I can not fail.

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So it's the easiest way of explaining that everybody has

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them and everybody knows where they are. So at that

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point I kinda got all my life. I've had the

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normal struggles now, all of life and things like that.

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I do different girlfriends. And so I just enjoyed a

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different kind of life style. And then really nothing really

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happened in my life. I open it compared to a

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shop. I ended up bankrupt, things like that. So it

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is the Normal ups and downs. So every kind of

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life, when I hit 48, I ended up single out

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or the player or a text message or in the

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morning have my then partner.

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And I don't know if, if I don't know what

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I want anymore. And then of course I've been around

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the block enough to know what that meant. And so

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that kind of just knocked me for a sec. It's

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completely, I was 42 years old and I was paralyzed.

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I didn't really have a career. I didn't have any

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money or anything like that. I knew I was faced

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with never, ever, never going to see anybody can say,

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I'm never going to enjoy my life again. And if

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you like, that is the first time, really big power

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lights that are really creeped up into my life. And

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it's the first time I felt really depressed. And then

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a few weeks later I was at the supermarket. And

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at that point, my chair broke down a wire.

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I went in for the tire and the tire half

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burst and it stopped. And I didn't think that life

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could get any lower. But at that point it did.

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I said that I started crying out in the supermarket

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with a guy that a security guard was just a

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few feet away as I wasn't with anybody at that

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time, it was a Saturday afternoon and it was really

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busy and I just didn't know what to do. I

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just burst out in tears and bearing in mind. I

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didn't know anybody around me. I didn't have any way

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there to, like, I was scared to go walk over

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and excuse my shoulder. And it was, it was not

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a little bit of comfort. I don't think he knew

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what to say. I don't think you have any idea

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what to say, but it was enough to think, well

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that someone's there.

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You know, I'm not alone in this and after composing

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myself and all of that, and I thought, Oh, how,

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how can I even fix my chair? I have no

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money. My credit cards too, are completely full. I knew

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I was in a broken electric wheelchair, paralyzed single. And

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at that point I just lost all hope. Like I

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think that they say is like the dark Knight of

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the soul. I've heard about it afterwards. But for weeks

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at that point for several weeks, I couldn't sleep. My

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mind was too active. I would think of all of

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the worst things. Of course my ex girlfriend was having

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a wonderful time with all different relationships. All the things

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that I would love to do these things are like,

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which of course that wasn't true, but in my mind

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thought that was true.

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So I was creating everything that was terrible in the

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world. And I was the victim have everything. I couldn't

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even sleep at all. And I started drinking every night.

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I started with one or two glasses of Southern comfort

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and it was quite embarrassing because I was asking my

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carers to pull up the drink because they have 24

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hour care to help me. And I've had that since

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it was 18. So it's one thing when you go

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into the drinks cabinet yourself and point out, there's another

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thing when you go to, as someone who has to

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do it and I wasn't a drinker, so it was

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an unusual, but they weren't saying anything. And after a

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few weeks that one glass turned into two turned into

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three.

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And at that point it was embarrassing, but a bee,

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I knew it was a slippery road and that was

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my lowest point in my life. I think I knew

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I had to do something about it. And I started

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reading books, which was unusual for me because I had

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never read a book sit in school because there was

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labeled dyslexic. And then at that time they didn't really

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know what to do about it. So it was just

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while you were dyslexic. And I lived up to that,

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that paradigm. So I started reading books. It was really

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difficult, but it was so it was enough for her

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to sleep. And that's why I did it for weeks.

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And then every single book would look up and go,

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well, if you go to meditate, you've got to love

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yourself and meditate.

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And they were the two bits of advice for me.

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I kind of Love by Southwest narcissistic and that is

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so wrong and everything against why I would ever think

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of it. And as far as a meditation, you've got

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to be kidding my mind, my mind. So overthinking and

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so on. And the only time I've tried meditation was

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it in my late twenties. And I sat down for

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about three minutes because I thought it was cool. I

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thought I might got a girlfriend, that guy, you know,

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I thought it was a trending thing today, but it,

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it lasted about three minutes and I realized my mind

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doesn't shut down. So here are the two solutions to

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my pain was meditation start having compassion for yourself for

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giving yourself.

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So whenever the w w when one person tells you

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something, and when one book tells you something and you

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go, okay, it may be true. But when everything is

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pointed to the same thing, as some point you've got

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to go, okay, I can not be right. And everybody

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else, and everybody has to be wrong. So I started

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mass. I think I started sitting down with my thoughts

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and I quickly learned that I wasn't my thoughts. And

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that was the major breakthrough for me. It was like,

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wow, I have thoughts, but I'm not those thoughts. And

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this is what led to my journey. Really. Now that

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realization from been at that rock bottom, being at the

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mercy of all the thoughts I thought was true, or

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where the pain and suffering, and I was still disabled,

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I was still had all of the problems.

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They come in with a disability they're not walking. And

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I know is the easy part of it is that

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the stuff that goes with it, that is the Difficult

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pods. And just realizing that I can have a thought

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by now, I have to do anything with it. It

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was so liberating for me. It was so freeing of

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that suffering. I still felt pain. I still got upset.

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I, I would cry at a John Lewis address. You

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know, I, I was one of these people that I

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was very emotional and that if I hear you a

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nice story outcry, so, but it didn't get rid of

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that. I still felt things deeply. I still worried. I

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say I still got angry, you know, but I had

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this freedom from the suffering that, that caused, and that

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impact taught me, or show me to help other people

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through meditation.

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And really the meditation of just, just sit with whatever's

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going on. So I would help other people, you know,

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and then that, that really, to the Podcast, Stillness in

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the storms, you know, the storms always rage in the

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Storms, or is that whether it's in the mind, whether

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it's your emotions, whether it's political, whether it's the external

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world, anything, we try to spend the so much time

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lining up everything else, tried to sort it out when

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the politics are perfect for me, when the outside world,

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when my family accept and understand me, when everybody listens

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to me, when everybody thinks as long as I do,

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I'll be happy.

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You know, when I'm perfect house, when I'm perfect way,

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we will be happy. And we spend so much time

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trying to put out the fires to put out in

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the Storms, quiets in the world down, and then you

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turn internally on the spiritual journey and you think the

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spiritual journeys is going to be, Oh, this is wonderful.

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I'm now on the spiritual journey. Now in the second

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half of life and everything is going to be cool.

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And then you realized there was a raging storm and

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fire within you. It's like Tom of just learned to

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cope with a one out of that. And then we

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turn it inside and you realized I'm crazy.

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I thought it's a crazy. And I always get back

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to the, this by Jack cornfield. And he said, my,

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my, my subconscious mind is like a, a dangerous neighborhood.

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They don't like to go there often. And you suddenly

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realized how crazy we are, how our emotions change every

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few seconds. How, you know what, when we used to

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think we were depressed or we, we were anxious now,

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whereas now we have anxiety and we have, and it

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comes and goes the same as depression. And I feel

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depressed sometimes instead of I am depressed, I did it

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suddenly lifts these barriers. And that enables us to deal

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with life. Life is still the same.

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There's nothing different in my life today and not to

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fall. My life's worst today than it has been in.

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Most of my life. I'd been single. I haven't got

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any abundance of money. I've been in politics. You know,

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my local counselor, I'm currently the deputy Merillat. So I'm

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about to become the deputy mayor if I get reelected

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and Mae. So really there's more Storms in my life.

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Then there ever has been put on a lot more

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peace. And that's when I talk about, On Stillness at

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the storms, we got it. You don't have to, but

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some of you not have to stop thinking, stopped the

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emotions that will come and go, Oh, you know, were

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not really in control of that.

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It's having the tools and having the knowledge that we

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don't have to do anything with them when they are

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rising.

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Well, that's one of the things that I like about

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your show is just like you, you were there about

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Y you know, how life and how we allow ourselves

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to get really distracted by things outside of control. You

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have a very straightforward, no BS approach to every episode

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and yeah. And you tell it like it is, and

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it was one that, and then as long as we're

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for like a, a, a, a self-deprecating humor as well,

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which I really don't think that it must be like

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a, really a British thing. Cause like I tend to

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find British humor, very dry. And you know, self-deprecating like,

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for example, the app, there was an episode where you

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talked about how awesome it is to be paralyzed, but

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it's still had, obviously all of that is serious. Your

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approach to are more humorous tech, but it's still had

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a very serious message, you know?

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And you were, you were pushing back on and said,

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well, you are, you're amazing because your doing these things,

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you know, as well, paralyzed, well look how awesome Steven

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is and, and the message. And that episode was a

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really strong message. And did you find that you often

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have to push back on people's perceptions in, is that

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what brought an episode like that to the fore or

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what what's that like?

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One thing I had found always difficult to cope with

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is, is the, you are an inspiration. You are amazing.

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You do so much in life. And for the most

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part of my life, I was, I was living with

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his deep shame. The, I didn't see it. I would

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always see shame and get one, all of that. And

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other people, not me, I'm doing brilliant. Umm, but every

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time someone is housed in his face and I was

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doing an amazing, I would want to run from it,

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but I didn't know why. And, and I would look

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at it as well. I've got a carers, they get

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me out of bed. Should I really be looked at

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as something amazing for just doing those things. And I

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very often didn't look at my life and go, Whoa,

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do you know?

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I do achieve quite a bit. And even when I

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sit back and go, how did he crap? I'm deputy

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mayor of my city. That is like from an ego

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perspective. I think that's incredible, but I don't look at

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it as incredible for being paralyzed to do that. She's

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just incredible for me. But with this deep shame, I

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would find it very hard. And during lockdown I have

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had so many revelations, so many freedoms has come about.

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And then what are the main one is the wheelchair

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that broke 15 years ago as virtually died again now.

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And for the last, during the lockdown, the battery has

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completely died.

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And now because of that, other things went wrong. So

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about August last year, I reached out to her a

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couple of times and said, how am I going to

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fund a new wheelchair? The ones that we got available

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in the UK are not really that are applicable. If

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you wanna be active, put it that way. And they

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were about 10,000 pounds on that. I was thinking of

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what I kind of ask people for it. And I

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didn't know why I couldn't ask people. So I went

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to a couple of friends and said, all right, we

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got to do some kind of a challenge. We got

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to do something that I can get sponsorship and then

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I can pay for the chair. So I can give

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publicity to a company's how many tried to work it

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out.

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And one of them said to him and said to

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me, and she looks up and said, why don't you

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just ask people, wanting to help you? And why don't

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you just ask? And I have so much resistance that

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so much fear come up with that. And I sat

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with that for a little bit. And I spoke to

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my, of a, another friend about that fair. And she

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said, she looked at me and say, gee, can I

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be really honest with you? You and this was the

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X go for it. And that caused my rock bottom.

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I want to play where you were assigned my daughter.

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I mean, she left up a, can I say something

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to you? And I cannot remember quite the words where

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she put it in a room and I did not

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recognize what, what she said to me.

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But when someone says something to you and you're triggered

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by him, she said, do you think that you feel

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guilty about your accident or something? So somewhere along the

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lines and I had to, I was triggered immediate, like

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resistance to this. And what I've learned over the last

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few years is if you are triggered that something that

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you know, not to deny it and not get angry

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and then just see what the trigger is. And I

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saw it on a couple of days later, I send

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it back and says, I think I've got a deep

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shame. I know what she said. She said, do you

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feel like the world owes you something or something like

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that? And it really put me off, but it was

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brilliant because it unlocked something in a couple days later

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on.

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I said, aye, I think I have a deep shame

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about my accident. I was the dumb-ass that dived into

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the pool. Well, that night I climbed up on top

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of that wall. When I walked along the top of

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the wall and I looked at my watch, it was

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September the first at 10 31 in the evening. I

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like five 10. And at that moment, when I hit

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the bottom of the Paul, I was instantly paralyzed. So

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from that moment, I've needed a 24 hour cap. I

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have needed help on virtually everything in life for all

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of my physical things. And the life becomes more expensive,

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like a wheelchair, things like that. I'm not going to

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live in the UK or in a country that does

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help people with disabilities now, but it doesn't stop the

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feeding of, you know, I did this.

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So for nearly 30 years, I had the shame of

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asking people for help. You know, I would literally be

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in a shop and some of them would say, would

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you like me to pass that down to you? When

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I was like, no, no pay, thank you because I

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never want you to be in any trouble. And when

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I realized my shame of my accident, I realized why

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I didn't like people calling me a hero calling me

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or not a hero. Some I was hot. I call

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myself that, all right, we're all a hero on their

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own journey. And I'm kinda trying to embrace that part.

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But when they caught me in an inspirational way, how

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could I be in an inspiration? So sub-consciously, how could

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I be an inspiration? Well, I was a dumb ass,

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broke my neck. I know.

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And I just get on my own life and I

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never realized it wasn't because I broke my neck. It

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wasn't because he was a dumb ass that night. It

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was because I do get all my life and I

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think make a big issue about my disability, about betting

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in a wheelchair. I would avoid disabled clubs. I would

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avoid a disabled groups. I don't know. And I thought

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it was because I was in embracing the I'm not

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disabled. I can go on my life. And it wasn't.

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It was because of my deep shame of I created

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my disability when many people didn't, when I realized that

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I, and I realized that I was an inspiration because

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of what I've done since my accident. Wow.

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That was like a freedom that I could never on.

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Suddenly I put on a go fund, me page. I

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raised the money for a new wheelchair. People hate me

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the money for the wheelchair. And I was like, wow,

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this is like unbelievable. And people said to me is

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because of how you handle life, not what he did.

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And that's why I realized is that it's a huge

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thing in embracing the FA or embracing the fact that

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I didn't have that shame for so long. It has

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given me so much freedom. Now, you know, I can

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happily, I would never have considered it a marital acquisition

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or a deputy ma I will be, you know, one

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day that my lead on it to be mad, I

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will have never considered that.

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I would have been somebody that would embrace people with

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physical disabilities and the accessibility issues, faster thing that I'm

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standing up for now and shouting about rather than avoiding,

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rather than trying to go, Hey, LA, you know, that's

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all I live in able-bodied life and that's not reality.

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So in a really long answer to your question, I,

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I do feel resistance and you know, I'm paralyzed. There

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is no about a thinking law of attraction, whatever you

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can do is going to change that. And there was

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some awesome news that comes to, I think, one of

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those things that I think the episode, if you are

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talking about 10 things, is why it's awesome to be

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paralyzed.

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And I think one of them, I said that I

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didn't have to get up at, in the middle of

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the night to go for a pee. How well, some

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of that as a superpower, how many people would love

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that superpower, especially the older we get.

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Exactly. So that's like the worst thing is just waking

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up in a middle name as you mention you go,

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Oh, but I'm still a warm it's when we really

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want to do anything on the side that I hear

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ya. I think what was the, you have to mention

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them. They are at the exact time and date that

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the accident happened. There was an episode on your podcast

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where you share the experience of the, the amount of

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our story and the memories that you, you remembered leading

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up to the accident. And, and you broke down in

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the day that it was a, a normal day, but

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it wasn't a, and I, when I was listened to

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that, it was like a really moving, like, I can

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picture up everything that you would go through, every action

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that you are taking you on that day, leading up

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to your accident. It's talking about that deed hard to

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do is still a R does have a few, like

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you're speaking of someone else's life, our w what, what

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was it like when you, we will make an episode

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like that?

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Every anniversary I, I do reflect on it. I reflect

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on that more than I do my birthday. I'm not

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sure why, but it, it seems to be a September

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of the first for me, it's quite a big thing.

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I think it's a big thing because I simply reflect

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more on that day about my life than I do

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on my birthday. I got enough to get us by

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a perfectly, I love growing out. I love the fact

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that I'm still here. Well, when I recorded that episode,

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I really didn't know how it was going to go,

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but I just thought about it. You know, that Sunday,

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they broke my neck and, and not have to say

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it. I said about it when I go out, but

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in the morning and went about my day. And they

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said, this is no ordinary day, but it was no

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ordinary day.

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It was just a completely ordinary day. The same as

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what you've done this morning, or the same as what

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we've done this morning. But we never know when it's

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the last day, he will do that. One thing. You'd

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never know it. When it was the last day, you

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will be on the phone. Your mom you'll be at

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a, a hug. Someone hugged. Your daughter may be, or

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what have you ever, we never know, because one day

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will be the last day you would do that ordinary

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thing. And you have to strike a balance between living

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every day as if it is going to be a

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blast. You going to do that because you, you would

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end up either feeling really embracing life or feeling quite

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miserable and depressed. If you look at every day as

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if it is going to be the last day. But

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if we embrace the fact that everything we're doing is

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almost like the first time we do those things and,

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and just embraced.

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This is the first ad I've got this day. What

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am I going to do? It that it totally changes

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the way we, we look at life. And then I

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do I do I do the ordinary things and think

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they're amazing every day. Do I drink in a cup

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of coffee and go, wow, this is an amazing cup

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of coffee. What I want an amazing gift. This is

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to have a cat or that works. I have hundreds

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of people are just suddenly come together at to give

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the electricity from the cattle to work. I'm the coffee

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bean. So we pick that up for that so much.

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It goes into a cup of coffee, but every now

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and again, when we sit back and just the episode

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I recorded yesterday, it was about taking stock of our

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lives.

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It's like, gratitude is almost overused. Now I'm the same.

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As mindfulness is all most overused. And we all know

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we should be grateful for everything, but you cannot literally

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go for your day being grateful for everything. Every moment,

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get in the car and you can be grateful. The

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cost starts. But if you start doing that every day,

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it becomes a norm. And again, and the episode was

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recorded yesterday, which will be out this week is just

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look around your house. What for your house and take

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stock of what you got. It just like a business

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would. And every year a business counts his assets by

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taking stock. When do we do that? But when do

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we go through our body and, and count the different

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assets, we got it.

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You know, the ability to see the ability to talk,

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tastes, feel things, and just sitting down and occasionally and

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taking stock of that and go, Hey, this is what

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I have got, but not in a, in a gushy

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gratitude way. Just the reality of seeing the way things

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are, because the way things are very often aren't and

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the way we see them, you know, were so focused

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on a negative bias, w w which is a, a

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good reason why we got it. You know, a negative

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bias keeps us alive and negative bias is why we've

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evolved so well as humans in a world that really

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isn't that friendly, especially, especially in the last few million

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years, hasn't been that friendly.

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We've just made, you know, essentially a heated lockable homes.

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We made the world a little more safer for us.

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So this negative bias that we so wants to try

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to get rid of what we want to always think

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positive and always be happy. But the reality is, if

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we are always saying everything in the positive frame, where

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we are going to miss the signal's in the things

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that helped protect us, that helps us improve our lives.

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Negativity isn't bad. It's what we do with it at

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the same as anger, or it isn't bad. It's what

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we do with it. I think that's the one thing

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that if I could teach anything, it's, whatever arises, wherever

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it is here, what we do with it is completely

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our choice.

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You know, you can be given a hammer and you

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could build a house, or you can destroy something above

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what was not the hammer. It's not the anger. It's

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not the way, it's not the feeling of when we're

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feeling depressed or something like that. It's never the emotional

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survives in to blame the continued suffering.

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All right. And it, and it reminds me, I want

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you to watch a documentary, a thing it was on

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Netflix are something about the text messages that are the

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people that were on the plane's in nine 11 center

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on a lot of them new. This was going to

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be the last name. And then they were speaking about

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it. As you mentioned, there are what they should have

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done for the partner is what they should've done with

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the kids and spent more time. And, and then afterwards,

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he had visited the survivor's. So people that were meant

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to go to work that day and the tower is,

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but for whatever reason, they would leave it. There was

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traffic jams. They were saying they have to drop kids

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off. They, they celebrate their lives now and make, make

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sure that they embraced the date. But they also ensure

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as you, as you rightly pointed out, that there are

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lost people that are lost friends who have lost loved

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ones, and that they punish that.

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I'm not sure if punish is that like what? But

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they, they make themselves feel guilty for that moment of

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they are here and the friends that aren't.

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Yeah. And it's very difficult because everything becomes a Normal,

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everything becomes normal. I say, it's like, we, we see

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some of them that we want. And then we build

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up this, that this is going to say, this is

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going to solve all our problems. This is going to

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be present at once we move house. Once we buy

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something, once we learned this new skill, and then we

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fell great once that happens. And then after a few

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weeks, if it becomes completely normal again, and I haven't

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seen that documentary, but I can imagine the euphoria of

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we survived. We're going to go out and do all

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of these things. And then the life settles in.

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Again, they settle back into a normal life and then

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they feel guilty all my days for not living their

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life to the fall. Because I th I believe everybody

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feels to some degree would not live in our lives

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to the full, I don't think anybody, he goes to

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bed at night, thinking that I did everything I could

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possibly do to make today amazing. You know, it as

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bad as the days and there's days, or have class

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not so productive, you know, I, I tend to go

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back to the end of the night if I can

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put my head down and a small and go, Hey,

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you know, I did a pretty good, I don't beat

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myself up. Sometimes I still do. Sometimes I write my

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level lists in the morning and then to achieve it.

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And I put my head down and go, I've got

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to come back and do Pat's in my way, but

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I kind of laugh at that struggle.

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But yeah, I couldn't imagine. I couldn't imagine there is

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some element of guilt survivor's guilt. I think I've heard

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that phrase before.

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And you mentioned struggled on your website, your share, how

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your childhood was a difficult one, your parents divorced a

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year, ended up homeless for a while. Did you feel

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like the, the, the hardship of your childhood helped you,

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like toughen you up with that sort of an expression

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for when your accident happened? Because your accident happened after

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the homelessness? Correct? Because obviously you were kids. And do

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you think that helped you a mindset or was that

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a different mindset altogether?

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I can remember when, when we moved down to a

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small holding, my, my, my parents are divorced. I don't

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think that was my fault. So I was only have

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about seven at that time, but I can remember when

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we moved out of the smaller to me, moved to

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tour, and we ended up in a caravan I'm from

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that car. And we were then put into a home

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that I thought was a mansion. We put up to

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this mansion in that, like the English stately home, your

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drive up to one thing you got out of the

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car, and you can go into the big dog with

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a huge stack house and lots of rooms. I think

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he was out. I thought we made it. I thought

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it was his mum when the lottery or something, and

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it didn't occur to me at the time.

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But later on, I knew it, it was basically to

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be a refuge for single woman. And I remember I've

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been in the bedroom where my mum and my older

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sister, she's two years older than me. So I think

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she was suffering a lot more than I was at

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a time. I thought this was an adventure, and I

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can remember eating an evening, mail out. It was cold

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part is out of a SoulSteven. And it just, something

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really struck me when my mum put some of it

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in the sauce. And then me and my sister had

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it, it was spoons. I kind of enjoy that. That

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was cool to me. I was like a young child,

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but now I see my mum ate when we left.

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And I do remember sitting there thinking, why didn't we

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have a normal male? Well, why didn't we have a

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Hotmail wan? Why is mom At, when we left now?

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I don't know the reasons I haven't put it up

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with her. And that's what I noticed that day. I

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don't know if it really grows you a muscle to

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become strong, but it's certainly, it gives you a perspective

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of you, you know, if you've gotten nothing and you

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lose everything, you already know that you can lose everything

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and be okay. Even at that doorway, when I was

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quiet, you know, I had no money I had in

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in fact I had nothing. I didn't even have my

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ability to move forward and be in 40 years old,

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he literally bought it in your eyes are in front

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of a public on a Sunday, Saturday afternoon.

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You don't give a much lower than that. And I

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know now that I can be there and be OK,

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it almost seems like my life is a firm, one

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catastrophe, or a one fade into another. It really isn't.

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It's it's. Those are the times that really decide who

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you, you going to be decided how you were going

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to show up. Those are the times when you've got

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to dig deep and do something that is a signpost

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in life. All of the other, the music concerts, they

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have great experiences, the funding and love the, all of

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those are the things that we wish we could last

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forever. All of those were immature. I mean, I know

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all of those are the great experiences, but they don't

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very often define us.

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And I think that's why we focus sometimes. And I

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don't look back at any of those events and go,

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I wish they didn't happen. I look back on them

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quite fondly in a way that I do believe I've

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got this strange today, the ability to be resilient. And

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I don't live in fear because I really think I

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can lose everything again and be okay, you know, way

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things work out. It just might not work out and

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the same timeline as you want them to.

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Yeah. And speaking of the things, what can I, you

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had mentioned earlier, your deputy elect of a deputy chief,

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deputy mayor aleck, sorry of Trudeau, which was a beautiful

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place in Cornwell when the UK have done it. And

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so of course, you've done multiple challenges for charity. You've

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organized music festivals, and your second book, the gift of

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no choice is on its way, which is a far

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cry from some of that, the darker stuff that's also

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happening in your life. What else is on your bucket

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list? Give you got a lot going on at the

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mall. What are your bucket list?

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Well, I, I have, I have a three-year plan that

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I'm not attached too, but it's a, I I'm very

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much live in the moment, be mindful of the day

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and things like that. But, you know, with climbing the,

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the metaphorical mountain and I am, and I'm very much

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a sit down and take a look at the view

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and enjoy it, but keeping an eye on where you're

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going, but then it become attached to where the guy,

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but I haven't a three year plan. And really I

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wasn't planning on becoming the deputy Merillat act at this

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point or the deputy mayor for the next year. I'll

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if I still got Alexa as a local counselor in

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may the seventh, I will, I will then officially become

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the deputy manager.

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So I'll be learning what it's like to be the

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deputy mayor and supporting the current mayor. John Allen was

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a big she's now that Merillat. So she will become

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the math. And then if I choose to take it

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on, or, and if the counselors do what me and

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I was raised in an anonymous letter. So I, I

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so think of my fellow counselors for that, for the

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believing in me, having the trust in him, giving me

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this amazing responsibility, and then I would become mad for

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the year. So the plan then is to release my

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book, come to near the end of the year, the

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book it's called the gift of no choice that really

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is looking at my life.

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And I think is a wonderful thing. When we have

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our choices were moved from us, you know, I have

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no choice in that door way to do something more

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in my life. You know, if we are comfortable and

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everything is going okay, when someone comes along and says,

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well, give up your job because there's better things you

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can do is just like, eh, I don't want that.

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I've got to come from right now. I think that

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sometimes we have to be forced out of our comfort

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zone. So that's what the books about that, the gift

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of no choice, I've had no choice, but to face

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my battles in life. And I think that gifts I

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really do. And then the, You, after being the man

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who, if that happens, I wanna go back to John

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and go to the Lanza.

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And M is the upper most point of the UK

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to Just down where I live. Landon is known to

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be a thousand miles. I attend to that in 2005

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to raise money for dogs who are disabled and fleet

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frontline, emergency equipment and trust. Well, I failed because on

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about the 15th day, I came out in my wheelchair.

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I'm part of my shoulder. Yeah. I would like to

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go back and redo that. And I think now with

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Facebook and live video and having this new wheelchair that's

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delivered next week, I won't go into it. So it's

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like, I'm literally like child that has got the best

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toy in the world.

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I'm getting my legs back on Tuesday. And just in

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time for the vulnerable people that have some kind of

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illness that, you know, COVID-19, that would really affect, we

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were allowed out from the 31st of March and what

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a perfect timing is, just so incredible timing. So with

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that, I want to go back and do my job

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and go to London. And I want to, my initial

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thought is I want to provide a, a thousand people

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with the dogs for the disabled. I had won for

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nearly 12 years. It was called back in the golden

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achiever. He would move stuff out my way. He would

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pick stuff up and put it on my lap.

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But most of all it is, it is an amazing

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companion, you know, dogs have this ability to not judge

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you. They love you unconditionally. And I would love to

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be able to do that for a thousand people. So

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that's my plan after I've done that after I finished

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the book and the reason why the book slightly delayed

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is because of, I think They deputy mayor. And if

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I go on to be mad, I think is a

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fitting end of that is a current chapter. And this

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is wonderful having mindfulness and a big heart and politics.

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Uhm, I believe it, it is there any way everybody

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I see in politics, especially on a local level, there

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is that because the passionate and they care, they may

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not, it may not always be as obvious, same way

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as we say it, but there is a heart in

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local politics and you know, that's my next three year

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plan.

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I I'm so excited about it. It can be a

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challenge Tuesday. I know we're going to go on about

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that, but that's just so awesome.

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No, it was, I'm going to think you mentioned as

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well. And it's like, why are you looking at your

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legs? But no, you can do stuff, but it's a

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lockdown as closing you get to know again, it's like,

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I can feel that excitement coming through there. This is

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a screen now it's awesome that you had mentioned earlier

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that when we were speaking about the episode where you're

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talking about, you know, being paralyzed as I've trained reasons,

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being paralyzed is that one of the, the things for

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the episode, I was going to say it changed your

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perspective or, or, or offer offering the perspective that it

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may be is not quite an amazing what I'm doing,

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but to a lot of people are obviously your, an

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inspirational and the way they want to show that by

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help and stuff, who would be your own time inspiration

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and, and why that passionate people.

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I think my mum to a large degree, she, and

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she went through a lot as I was, I was

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a child. I don't know. Well, she always coped with

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things. She heard it from us. So I think she

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would be one of my great inspirations and I've never

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been asked that question and it's nice to be able

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to put her down. And I never thought of it

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so much in that way, but she has. And other

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people around me that helped me out a lot. And

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then you've got the famous people where there's people that

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have made a big difference. Umm, you know, the Mandela

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was of the world and people like that that have

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lived in solitude and the gift of new choice again

Speaker:

that have come out the other side, Terry White people

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like that, that have been thrown in the most awful

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positions, but yet they found a way to compose themselves

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and you use use that, the situation to their advantage

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to help others through that.

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So I hope that answers your question.

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No I do. And, and I, I like, as you

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mentioned, it ties completely backed to, to your own mindset

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and then, you know, your outlook on life, where it's

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about people who have overcome the no choice and you

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know, that's clearly not to shape your life and as

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it is now. So now that it's like that, definitely

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ask him a question. And like I was curious because

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I like it might, you know, I know you're an

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to a lot of people who inspire me, but I

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was curious to see who, who, who makes Steven inspired.

Speaker:

So thank you for that. So Steven, this is I've

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really enjoyed our chat today. I could sit here and

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talk with you for hours and hours a day, but

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in my world that it's, it's like the late afternoon

Speaker:

and I'm sure you got stuff to do it for

Speaker:

people that want to connect with IU online or listen

Speaker:

to your podcast about meditation and taking the time to,

Speaker:

to, to sort of flag where is the best place

Speaker:

for them to connect with you.

Speaker:

The best thing to do is connect with steven.com and

Speaker:

I'll make sure I dropped out in the show notes

Speaker:

on analytics to your podcast. That will be in the

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shot. It's too. So if you are listening to this

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episode on your favorite podcast app, as you show up

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just a quick reminder, add on to the show notes

Speaker:

and you find all the links are over to Steven.

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So again, Stephen, I really appreciate today and I'll be

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listened to some more episodes and I know, and I

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look forward to the new and it's coming out as

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soon as well. So thank you for today. Thank you

Speaker:

Tammy. I really appreciate it. This has been Podcaster Stories.

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If you enjoy today's episode, make sure to head on

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over to Podcaster Stories dot com, where you can catch

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up on previous episodes, subscribe to the free newsletter and

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basically choose your apps. So you want to listen to

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