This week I’m sharing a little solo adoption update and catching you up on where we’re at in our adoption journey! I talk through why we decided to work with an adoption consultant, what the process has looked like so far, all the paperwork/home study/training involved, and what the next few months could look like for us! And a really special Mother’s Day moment that felt like such a sweet confirmation of our call to motherhood through adoption!

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Hey, I'm your host, Mari Wagner,

and you're listening to the Everbe

2

podcast, where faith meets lifestyle.

3

I'm so excited you're here.

4

Whether you're a new listener

or a longtime follower, I know

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there's something here for you.

6

Pull up a chair and listen in for

insightful real-life conversations

7

and actionable steps on how to claim

the full life God created you for.

8

If you're a woman desiring to live

a Christ-centered life in today's

9

modern world, then this is for you.

10

Welcome to Everbe.

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mari-wagner_1_05-13-2026_143054:

Welcome back to Everbe again.

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It's me, Mari.

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It's just gonna be a solo episode today,

and it's gonna be just a adoption update.

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I've gotten a lot of questions

of people being like, "Where

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are you at in the process?"

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And, "How can we pray for you?"

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And so I'm just gonna share a little

bit more detail of like what the

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process of adoption has looked

like for us, where are we at in the

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process, and just what are we...

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what can we expect from here on out.

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So I, I was gonna start with an Everbe

Moment, and then I realized I'm gonna

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share basically a whole Everbe Moment

later on in this episode because

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it's just continuation of how God's

working in this call to adoption.

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Um, so my Everbe Moment will

be later in this episode.

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I'll let you know when it is,

but it is, it is incredible.

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So I'll just walk you through what our

steps have looked like in our journey.

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Um, the steps can vary sometimes depending

on what route of adoption you go through.

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Whether you're doing domestic

infant adoption or international

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adoption, Or fostering to adopt.

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Those are kind of all different processes.

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But we're doing domestic infant adoption

here in the US, and we started o-

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our whole journey by doing research.

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So I got on the phone with some people

that I knew had adopted, which I

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didn't really know many at the time.

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I think we got connected with one or

two people that had adopted, and we were

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able to get on the phone, and they were

able to answer a lot of my questions.

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And my questions have really evolved

throughout the process because your

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worries, your interests, like what

you're looking at, and your questions

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on the whole process just change

and evolve as you move forward.

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So when I had a very first initial call

with a friend who had adopted her first

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baby, my questions were like, "Were you

able to feel like this baby was yours?

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Like, in the middle of the night when the

baby cried, like, did you have the ability

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to soothe that baby that you didn't birth?

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Did you feel connected to this baby?

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Like, how did your family and friends,

like, connect with this baby?"

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Those were some of my initial

questions, um, which I think were very

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appropriate for that state of our...

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that stage of our discernment at

the very beginning, where we were

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like, "Are we even called to this?

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What does this path of

growing our family look like?"

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And then later on in the process,

it was like I would call someone

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and ask them, like, "Okay," like,

"what does the process look like?

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Like, what kind of things do you

have to do as the adoptive parent?

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And what kind of things do you

have to turn in or questions you

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have to answer or interviews?

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Or how much does it cost?"

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Like, all these kind of very much more

logistical questions of like how do we

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get into it, how do we get started, right?

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And then kinda near the end now,

we're like, "Oh," like, "what does

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it look like to parent a newborn?

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And, like, what's the relationship

with the birth mom, and, like, how do

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you navigate, like, hospital plans and

birth plans when you're kind of like,

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you know, dealing with someone who's

birthing the baby that's not you?"

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Like, much more nuanced questions

to this part of our journey.

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Um- But at the beginning, we just started

asking simple questions and started

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getting on the phone with people that we

knew and learning what route they took.

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So with adoption in the US, you can

either adopt directly through an

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agency or you can work with what is

called an adoption consultant, which

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means that you have kind of like a

liaison between you and many agencies.

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So instead of me going to a bunch of

agencies, interviewing them, vetting

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whether they're ethical or not,

choosing whether I want to work with

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them or not, and presenting ourselves

and all that kind of stuff, um, we

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have an agent that we work with, a

consultant is what they're called.

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And she has partners of, like, all

these different agencies that she has

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vetted that she believes are doing

ethical work, 'cause you really wanna

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make sure that the agency you're working

with is very ethical, um, that they've

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had good results with, that they have

great relationships with, et cetera.

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And it opens you up to multiple states,

whereas, like, if I were just adopting

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here in Colorado, I would only have the

options of the agencies here in Colorado.

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Now, of course, like, I could apply

directly to an agency in Texas or

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in Florida or in Arizona, but to

us it just seemed simpler to just

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go through the consultant route.

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It just seemed like they would

take care of kinda more of

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that heavy lift, especially as

a first-time adoptive family.

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Um, it does come with a, a flat fee, so

it's a little bit more expensive, so some

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people are kinda turned off by it 'cause

they're like, "Oh, you have to pay," you

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know, like, I think it was, like, $4,000

of a flat fee or something like that.

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But in general, adoption

is so expensive, you guys.

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Like, really expensive.

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Like, minimum, like, 50K.

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So, like, to us, $4,000 was kind of

a drop in the bucket in that huge

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amount that we already have to, like,

save up, um, at a minimum, and it

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was gonna make the process easier.

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So for us, it was kind of a no-brainer.

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We're like, "This is worth it.

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We're gonna invest in that."

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Um, and so yeah, in this process,

we were recommended a consultant.

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Um, they recommended, uh,

one group of consultants.

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We chatted with them.

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We had a couple interviews with them, and

we learned a ton more about the adoption

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process through them, um, about how

birth moms pick families, all of that.

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And then we read Some books.

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One of them that we read

was Adopted for Life.

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That was a really good book, um, that gave

the Christian perspective, kind of the

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bl- biblical perspective of why Christian

families should discern adoption, why

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adoption is a good Christian thing to

discern if God's calling you to, even

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if you do have biological children.

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Um, and then the other book was, I

believe it's called The Connected Child,

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and I probably read like half of it.

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It's a lot about, like, behavioral

parenting, and as I was reading it,

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like, it's a big popular book in

the adoption world, and I hope that

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that's m- what it's actually called.

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But, um, it didn't seem fully

applicable to me at the time of

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what I was discerning, and so it was

good to kind of have that knowledge,

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but I didn't finish it all the way

through, but maybe I will one day.

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And then we got connected

with another friend.

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She worked with a different,

um, consulting agency.

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She raved about them, said there

was a ton of success there, really,

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really great people to work with,

very ethical, so we went with them.

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So we started working with our agency.

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We told them we were

ready to sign in January.

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We signed on in January, and

then the first step is you have

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to get started on a home study.

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So this is phase one of

the adoption process.

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There are two phases.

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Phase one is really you doing a

lot of the work, getting your home

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study done, turning in paperwork.

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Phase two is you waiting and seeing

cases and waiting for that match.

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So phase one is, like, very busy, and

it's kind of like the sprint part of

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this whole process, because it's really

up to you how long it's gonna take.

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So sometimes it takes people, like,

six months, nine months, 12 months, 18

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months, because they just kinda go slowly.

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And you can do that if you're like, "Yeah,

I'm not in a rush to adopt," or, you know,

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"We're just gonna do things where we can."

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It can take a long time.

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But we were very excited to adopt and

grow our family, and so we tried to go

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as quick as we could, and yet we were so

frustrated about how long it took, because

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we were like, "Ugh, we thought we were

gonna get this done in, like, four weeks."

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And it's like, we're crazy.

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Why did we think we were gonna

get it done in four weeks?

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Like, we still had life going on.

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We still had work going on, and

so we couldn't just, like...

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The reason it takes so long

is 'cause you can't just pause

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your life to just do this.

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Otherwise, yeah, it probably

would just take a month.

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But We-- It took a little bit to

get connected to our home study,

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um, agency here in Colorado.

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So then I think we actually got started

like probably mid-February, getting on

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calls with them, learning what we had to

start doing, getting, you know, logged

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into the portals, and there's all these

like document checklists, and you gotta

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go through every single one of them.

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And I'm talking like, I mean, you gotta

submit a ton of documents, marriage

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license, insurance cards, marriage

certificate, like birth certificate.

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Like you have to just go find all this

paperwork and then turn it in, and

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then you also have to like fill out

a bunch of paperwork and all these

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questionnaires, and it asks you so much.

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Like it literally asks you so much.

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It's like, "Describe your parents and

how you remember them when you were

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in your childhood, and then in your

teenage years, and then as an adult."

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Like what were...

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Gosh, what else did it ask?

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Um, literally like, "What are the

biggest problems and conflicts

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you have in your marriage?"

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And, um, "Were you happy

as a child growing up?"

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Like, "What are some of the most

difficult moments you went through?"

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Um, it, it like asks

you so many questions.

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It's this big, long questionnaire, um,

that took us a while to fill out, a

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couple like sittings or what's it called?

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Um, a couple rounds of like

sitting down and working on it.

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And then there's all this training you

have to do, this like online training.

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So like there's like workshops we have

to attend that teach us about transracial

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adoption and, um, substance abuse, and

like if you get a case of a mom who

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had some sort of substance use, like

how can that impact the pregnancy and

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development of the child or does it?

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Um, relationships with birth

mom and, uh, different types

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of open adoption and stuff.

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Because what we found is that

in the US, closed adoption

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doesn't really exist anymore.

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Like there's like no such thing

as a completely closed adoption.

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So to some extent, like you're gonna

know who those birth parents are.

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Your child's gonna know who

those birth parents are, and

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the relationship can vary.

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But anyways, a ton of training

and then you also have to

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get a bunch of clearances.

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Like you gotta do fingerprints

and background checks and child

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abuse checks and medical tests.

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They wanna know if you have HIV or

you have to do a blood panel draw.

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You've-- or not a blood

panel, a drug panel.

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Um, uh, tuberculosis, like all this stuff.

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Um, so then you gotta do all that.

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So that's what we've been working

on since February, and at the end of

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all that, when you turn all of that

in-- Oh, oh, oh, oh, I almost forgot.

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We had to write an autobiography

about ourselves, okay?

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When I saw the list of questions that

were on the prompt of like what we

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had to include in our autobiography,

I kid you not, there was like seventy

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questions, and it was like, "Answer

each one of these thoroughly."

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I was like so Do you actually want,

like, a 10-page paper about my life?

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Like, is that too much?

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And, um, I literally emailed my agent

that and I was like, "I see that there's,

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you know, a vast amount of questions you

want me to answer, answer thoroughly.

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I just wanna make sure,

like, page count is good.

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Like, I could write,

like, 10 pages about that.

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Is that, like, what you're expecting?"

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And then I wrote that on a Friday.

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She didn't get back to me until

Monday, but I spent the weekend

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doing this autobiography.

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It's, it's 33 pages.

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Y'all, it's 33 pages.

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Thinking I could write it in 10

pages was actually hilarious.

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So that gives you some perspective

on all the work that goes

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into the adoption process.

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Yeah.

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In a way, it's

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like, it is hard and sometimes I'll,

you know, in, in low moments I'll

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complain to Trey and I'll be like,

"And other moms just get to get

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pregnant and then go birth their baby."

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And he's, he's really good at helping

me see the reality because, yes, of

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course, there's valid pain in that,

and at the same time, there's also

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difficulty and pain in pregnancy.

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You know?

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There's morning sickness and your

body is in pain and you can't sleep

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well and you have food aversions

or food cravings or mood swings.

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Like, there are difficulties

that come with it.

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So in its own way it's like these

are the pregnancy pains of adoption

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and the labor pains of adoption.

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Um, and no path to motherhood

is, is easy or simple.

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So it's a good reminder as

we're trudging through all this.

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And at the end after turning all of

this stuff in, then we get to the home

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visits portion, and that's basically

the last part of the home study process,

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so that everything I just explained

is part of the home study process.

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A home study is a report that they

have to write at the very end to

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basically, like, clear you to say, like,

"This is everything about their life.

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We have vetted them thoroughly.

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They are cleared to be

good adoptive parents."

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And it's a whole report

that gets written up.

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And it, like, in the report it's,

like, everything you just submitted.

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It's, like, everything about you.

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Um, but before they write it, they

come and they visit your house

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and they do in-person interviews.

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And I don't know if this is, like,

across the board for every state

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or whatever, but our state has

three visits, three interviews.

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And they're pretty in-depth.

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So the first one, the social worker comes

and you do an interview together with

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your spouse, and it's about two hours

long is what we were told to expect.

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And I believe anything that you

turned in is free ga- is fair game.

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Like, anything that you filled out in

those questionnaires, like, anything

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about your life and your autobiography,

like, they just wanna come and get

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to know you, get to know your home,

your life, your marriage, um, what's

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good, what's hard, like- Everything.

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So that first interview is

two hours long, you together.

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And then the next week they come back and

they do two separate interviews, one just

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you and the social worker, and then one

it'll be just Trent and the social worker.

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And each of those interviews

are two hours long.

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So man, that social worker is

probably gonna be exhausted by the

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end of it, but, 'cause she's got

four hours straight of interviewing.

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So that's the second visit, and I think

a lot of that is just, like, each one of

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you talking about your spouse and your

marriage and, um, yeah, you know what?

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I don't know.

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I don't really know what else

that second interview's about.

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Once I do it, I'll come

back and let you all know.

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Um, and then the third one, so then

they come back a third week, and

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they're usually one a week for three

weeks just to, like, get it done with.

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So then they come back for a third

week, and that is what they call

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the home inspection, and that's

where they come, they like...

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I don't know if they're gonna tour the

house in the other, in the other ones.

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They might.

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But this one is, like, specifically

to come tour the house, and

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they're not trying to trick you.

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Like, they told us, like, they're

gonna give us a list of the

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things that they're looking for.

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It's just, like, safety.

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Like, do you have smoke alarms that work?

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And do you have a fire extinguisher?

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And, like, do you have a first aid kit?

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And is it, like, are your medicine

bottles, like, put away in a cabinet

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where children can't reach it, you know?

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Um, so I'm not, like, too worried about

it, and I do know that, like, we have a

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beautiful home and a beautiful marriage

and a beautiful community, and I know

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that they're just, they're gonna see that.

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And so I'm not really worried about it.

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But that is that last part of the process.

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And then you wait.

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And so then you wait for that social

worker to write up your home study,

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which can take anywhere from, like,

probably four to, like, eight weeks.

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Um, our agency told us they have a really

light caseload right now, and so they

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said you should get it within four weeks.

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So it sounds like it'll

be on the quicker end.

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And all of our home visits are

actually scheduled, so that's

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where we're at right now.

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That is our update.

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Like, we will start our

home study visits next week.

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So by the end of May, all of our

home study visits will be done, and

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then likely all of June the social

worker will be writing up our whole

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home study report, and we'll just

be waiting for her to finish it.

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And then end of June, beginning

of July, we'll be cleared

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and we'll start seeing cases.

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So after you get your home study done,

they, like, send that to your consultant

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or your adoption agency, and that's

basically their proof and approval that,

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like, you're clear to adopt at any moment.

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So then you'll start seeing cases.

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What does that look like?

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In our inbox, we'll start getting

emails, and from what I've heard,

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it could be multiple emails

a week or one email a week.

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I think it also just depends

your level of openness to what...

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If you have any criteria that

you're open to or not open to when

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it comes to a child that you want

to adopt and raise and everything.

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So obviously, like, the more open you

are, probably the more cases you'll see.

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The less open you are to things,

probably the less cases you'll see.

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So we'll start getting cases in

our inbox, and it'll share about

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the child and the birth mom.

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It'll be like, this is, you know, the

birth mom's situation, um, race, age,

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height, hair color, medical history,

um, prenatal care, pregnancy care.

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Like anything that would be

important for us to know to make

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a decision of like, yes, we feel

called to raise this child or not.

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Um, and you either say yes

or no to each of those cases.

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So if we get a case that we feel

like, yes, we really wanna bring

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this baby home, parent this baby,

raise it in our family, we'll say

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yes, we wanna present to the mom.

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If we say no, they're just like, "Okay,

great," and then you move on, and then

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you wait till you get another case.

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If you say yes, they will present the

mom with your family profile book.

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So this is actually what we're

gonna be working on while we wait

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for our home study to be written.

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So like probably end of May, all of

June, we'll be working on building our

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profile book, and that's basically,

like, a cute PDF that just, like, shows

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pictures of your family, your home,

your hobbies, what your life looks like.

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And it's a lot of writing too, like you're

writing about your life and your work and

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your values and your marriage and your

home and your friends and your community.

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Again, you're just basically writing

another b- autobiography, um, that

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basically shows the birth mom who you

are, what your lifestyle is like, and what

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kind of life this baby would have if she

were to pick you to be its mom and dad.

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So If we see a case that we feel

really strongly about and we say yes,

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we want to present to the mom, then

all the families who said yes, so

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like those cases are getting presented

to multiple adoptive families.

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All the ones that say yes will turn

in their profile book to the mom

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and the mom will look at all them

and then she'll make that decision.

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She'll say, "I love this family.

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I want to give my baby to this family."

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So she makes that final decision.

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Like first you say yes and

then she says the final yes and

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that's when the match happens.

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And they say that like if it's a no,

you'll get an email or if it's a yes and

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she picked you, then you'll get a call.

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And so that's the call like all

adoptive parents are waiting to get.

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You know, you're waiting to see

your agent's name on the phone

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after you've said yes to see

if that mom picked you or not.

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Um, and it can go one of two ways.

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Either you can match with a

mom who is pregnant still.

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Usually if she is, it's commonly

in her last trimester, so one to

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three months until baby is born.

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And so they might call you and say,

"Hey, baby-- or mom has picked you.

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Baby will be, you know, baby's due in

one month or baby's due in two months.

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Um, here's the due date.

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You know, let's start planning to

pick up the baby then, you know, and

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start preparing and all the things."

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So you might be able to get

a little bit of heads up.

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But it's also really likely for it to

be what they call a drop case, which

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means that a baby was already born

and who knows, like for some reason

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an adoption plan wasn't made while the

mom was pregnant and she decided she

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wanted to put that baby up for adoption

and she had already given birth.

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And usually it's just like day of

or like day after baby was born.

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They'll present the case

to you and you'll know.

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It'll be like, baby was born yesterday.

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Here's the whole situation.

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And those are usually more expedited.

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And they'll be like, you need to tell us

within the next four hours, like whether

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you want to parent this baby or not.

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And so you'll say yes or no.

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If you say yes, then you'll

wait for the mom to choose.

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And if she chooses you, you'll

get that phone call and it'll

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be like, okay, mom chose you.

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You need to get on the next flight

out because baby's already born.

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So like the clock is already ticking.

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And so then like you need to literally

get on the next flight out to go

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pick up your baby and your whole

life changes in a matter of hours.

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Um So that's how the matching

process can look like.

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And then in terms of how long it can

take, that is the question nobody can give

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you a straight answer on because there's

no hierarchy or waiting list of how

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families get presented cases or chosen.

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It's not like because you were

waiting longer, you get first pick.

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It's not.

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It's just literally like when the right

baby is born that God picked for you,

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that was meant to be in your family,

and the case gets presented to you,

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and you say yes, and the mom says

yes, that's when the match happens.

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And I have heard things

all across the board.

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Like, my friend matched in three weeks,

and I've had so many people in my DMs

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telling me that they matched in like

two weeks, three weeks, four weeks,

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six weeks, seven weeks, eight weeks.

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Like way faster, like,

than I would have thought.

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And I also have people in my DMs who

are like, "It took us seven months,"

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"It took us nine months," "It took

us six months," "It took us a year."

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So that's the part that's kinda hard.

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It's like, and now once we go

live early July, it's just gonna

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be like, it's gonna be so hard.

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It's gonna be so hard to wait because

I just don't know what's gonna happen.

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Like, of course, I want

it to happen quickly.

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Maybe some people wouldn't be like that,

but I'm like, "Call me the next day, man.

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I'll fly out."

399

Um, I want it to happen

quickly, obviously.

400

Like, I hope it just takes a

couple weeks, but I also have to

401

like have the understanding that

like it could be a couple months.

402

It could be many months.

403

I don't know.

404

Um, but basically starting

July, we just have to be ready.

405

We have to be ready for whatever happens

and for a baby to come home the next day.

406

So, so yeah.

407

So I'm, I'm try- I'm getting ready.

408

Like my registry's almost done, and

I have links saved for a nursery,

409

but I haven't bought anything yet.

410

I think I've just kinda been waiting for

maybe the home study be o- to be over.

411

I don't know why, because...

412

I don't know why.

413

Maybe it's just 'cause we've been busy.

414

But, um, but yeah, I kinda need to start

buying stuff just because like if they do

415

call you, like let's say we get a call in

August, and they're like, "Baby's born.

416

Come pick it up."

417

Like, I don't wanna have to stress

about putting a nursery together,

418

and I know the baby sleeps in your

room the first like six months.

419

I know.

420

But like if y'all know me, you know

it's gonna stress me out to have

421

an unready room for this baby I've

been waiting five freaking years

422

for, so, so I'm gonna get it ready.

423

Um, and then, and then what's next?

424

And then, like when you go pick up

the baby, you have to be there for a

425

certain amount of time while you're

legally cleared to take the baby home.

426

So it could be like- Minimum four

days up to 14 days, basically.

427

Like, one to two weeks is the

expectation that you're gonna be in

428

that state where you picked up the baby.

429

There's gonna be legal processes

that are happy, happening that's,

430

like, terminating the parental rights

of the birth mom and transferring

431

or, like, giving you permission to

take the baby home, all that stuff.

432

Once you get cleared,

then you can fly home.

433

So that's the other thing is, like,

you basically just buy a one-way

434

ticket 'cause you don't, you

don't know when you're going back.

435

Um, then you get home, and then

depending on what state you adopted

436

from, uh, is how long it takes

for the adoption to be finalized.

437

So technically, you're not legally...

438

Like, you're legally that baby's guardian.

439

I think it's, it- it's

kind of like foster care.

440

You know, you're technically that

baby's, like, foster family, and then

441

there's, like, some home visits that

need to happen once the baby comes home.

442

Your social worker comes back to

see, like, how are you adjusting,

443

how is baby adjusting, any questions,

everything's going well and seamless.

444

Okay, good.

445

And then depending on the state you

adopted from, it'll be a couple months

446

from when you bring the baby home to when

the adoption is finalized, so to when you

447

legally become that baby's legal guardian.

448

Um, and I think, mm, it's

usually, like, three to six

449

months or something like that.

450

But, like, nothing changes, you know?

451

Like, you still have the baby at home.

452

It's not like anything actually changes

from the moment you bring the baby

453

home to the moment you, like, are

sworn in and legally sign a paper.

454

Um, and then it's done.

455

Easy, right?

456

Quick.

457

Um, no, it's a whole process.

458

It's a whole process, but we know

the Lord has called us to it,

459

and we feel honored to be here.

460

That's the reality.

461

Like, I'm grateful to be here.

462

I'm grateful to be able to be

doing all these things, and

463

I know the Lord is providing.

464

I know finances are a big, um,

obstacle for a lot of people in...

465

that want to adopt

because it's so expensive.

466

And I wanna, I wanna say that for anybody

who's in that process or has that fear,

467

you can apply for loans, and so many

people fundraise, and God will provide.

468

And so, like, no, we do not have

$50,000 sitting in our pockets

469

just, like, waiting to adopt.

470

Like, we have had to save and work

for it, and, um, which is why we

471

launched that Holy Family Rosary,

where 50% of the proceeds of

472

that are donated to help funding

families adopt, starting with ours.

473

And so once we're fully funded, then

we'll move on to another family.

474

And I'm very excited for that.

475

I'm very excited to the point

where we get fully funded and we

476

can start helping other families.

477

Like, my vision for that is that

maybe a f- like you know somebody.

478

Like, maybe your friend is adopting and

you know financially, like, they need

479

some support, and that you can come to

us, and we can, um, you know, learn about

480

that family and see how we can support

them, and then donate a big check to

481

them and hope that, like, it helps fund

their adoption or, like, helps get them

482

on their way to funding that adoption.

483

And it's, it's amazing how, like,

I've s- I've just seen it on, in the

484

adoption Instagram world, the more

that I get into this, the more that

485

kind of content pops up and how God

provides, and there are such generous

486

people that step up to help others in

building their families, and we wanna do

487

exactly that once we're done with ours.

488

So if you're interested in supporting us

in that way, um, I'll make sure to link

489

in the show notes the Holy Family Rosary,

where you can buy a rosary, pray for our

490

family, and, um, half of those proceeds

of those sales will help support us.

491

But no pressure.

492

Honestly, like, the biggest thing

you can do for us is, is pray.

493

Like, please just pray for

us, like, as often as you can.

494

Pray for it to be a smooth process.

495

Pray for, um, good relationships

with the birth mom.

496

Pray, pray for a healthy baby.

497

Um, pray for us just to have

the grace to navigate this.

498

This is just...

499

It's a different way to grow your family.

500

Um, and there's different challenges

that come with it, so just

501

pray for us to be good parents.

502

And, and just thank you.

503

Thank you for doing that for us.

504

My Everbe moment I was gonna share was

just another confirmation that I have

505

felt that we are on the right path and

are truly called to be adopting and that

506

we have discerned right, that, like,

we have heard the Lord's voice, heard

507

His call, and are on the right path.

508

So Mother's Day was just on Sunday,

and usually for someone experiencing

509

struggles with their fertility and

unable to conceive, or if you have a

510

friend that's had loss and miscarriages,

Mother's Day is really hard.

511

Um, and it's usually just a

sad day for me, to be honest.

512

Um, and so I was just kind of

expecting it to be that way.

513

Like, the days leading up, I

was, like, mentally like, "Okay,

514

yeah, Mother's Day is coming up.

515

Like, I know it's gonna be a hard day.

516

Like, what am I gonna do that day?

517

How can I kind of make it better and

kind of take my mind off things?"

518

And all the, all that.

519

And then, like, the day before Mother's

Day and on Mother's Day, like, it just,

520

like, went completely the opposite.

521

Like, it was an amazing day.

522

It was, like, a happy day,

and it was so unexpected.

523

My sister-in-laws and my mother-in-law

and Trey all got me, like, sweet

524

little Mother's Day gifts and

wished me Happy Mother's Day.

525

And I was, like, kind of taken aback

where I was like Why are you doing this?

526

Like, I'm not a mom.

527

Like, I'm not a mom yet.

528

And they had a beautiful perspective

where they were like, "If you

529

were pregnant, you'd-- we'd

be celebrating you right now."

530

Like, and you are an expectant

mom, it just looks a little

531

different when you're adopting.

532

Like, maybe you're not an expectant mom

that's pregnant, but you're an expectant

533

mom that knows a baby's coming, and

you're doing everything to get there, and

534

you're preparing, and you're almost there.

535

So the other thing too that they were

saying is like this baby, like if

536

we're adopting in this year, like this

baby is already alive in his birth

537

mom or her birth mom's uterus, womb.

538

Why did that sound so weird?

539

In her womb.

540

Um, which means like that baby's alive,

and the truth is I'm that baby's mom.

541

Like, I am that baby's mom, and

I'm just waiting for baby to be

542

born and be put into my arms.

543

And so they were sharing this all with

me, and of course, I'm like fighting back

544

tears and just like, "Oh my gosh, what?"

545

Like, it was just kind of a

surreal moment where I was like,

546

"Wow, like this is so beautiful.

547

Like maybe I do get to be happy today.

548

Maybe I do get to celebrate today."

549

And we all went to the zoo with

Trey's whole side of, um, the

550

fam, with all of our nieces and

nephews, and that was so much fun.

551

And the Everbe moment, right, my God

moment was like we didn't make it

552

to the morning masses 'cause we were

just like rushing to try and like

553

get to We were gonna go to morning

mass, and then we didn't make it

554

because we were just like rushing to

like do a bunch of stuff and get out

555

the door to go to the zoo that day.

556

And so then we had to find an

evening mass to attend after the zoo

557

'cause the zoo closed at four PM.

558

So then we were gonna find a

5:00 PM Mass to make it to.

559

Now zoo is in Denver, and we

don't really go to Mass in Denver.

560

We don't, we don't live in Denver.

561

So we had to, like, look up a church

and try and see if there was a

562

church that had a 5:00 PM Mass that

was close to the zoo to where we

563

were so we could get there on time.

564

And Trey found a church that was

just Our Lady of Guadalupe, and I

565

thought nothing of it at the time.

566

Now let me just preface this whole

part to, with saying that, like...

567

if you haven't heard the episodes

We're Adopting Part One or Our

568

Adoption Story Part One and Part

Two, like, you won't understand

569

why this is, like, such a big deal.

570

I think it's all in Part

One, the big, the big stuff.

571

So, like, if you don't know what I'm

talking about, you're gonna need to

572

either, like, pause and go listen

to that and then come back to this

573

part or finish listening to this

and then go back and listen to Our

574

Adoption Story Part One episode to

understand why this is such a big deal.

575

We go to Our Lady of Guadalupe

Mass, and it's in Spanish.

576

And we're like, "That's okay."

577

I mean, I'm fluent in Spanish.

578

Trey's learning a lot of Spanish.

579

We just had to get to Mass.

580

We're like, "That's great.

581

We'll go to Spanish Mass."

582

And we walk in, and the wall

behind the altar has this huge,

583

gorgeous image, gold-framed

image of Our Lady of Guadalupe.

584

And then on the wall, like, in gold

lettering, like, actual physical

585

lettering, it wasn't just painted, it was

beautiful lettering on the marble wall, it

586

said, "Am I not here who am your mother?"

587

But in Spanish.

588

Um, and so it was clearly a very,

like, Hispanic Catholic church.

589

Um, and again, none of this

is clicking for me yet.

590

I'm just like, "Aw, this is so pretty."

591

And I'm just, like, you know,

sitting in Mass and just, like,

592

reading the words behind the altar

and just like, "Wow, that's so

593

pretty," and nothing is clicking.

594

And then at the end of Mass, they

ask all the moms to stand up for

595

a blessing as they usually do, and

most times I just, like, sit in the

596

pew, and I just wish I was invisible.

597

And I just, like, I'm sad and just wanna

get out of church as fast as possible.

598

And this time Trey nudged me, and

he's like, "You should stand up."

599

And I was like, "No, it's okay.

600

Like, it's okay."

601

And he was like, "No, stand up."

602

And I was like, "Oh, my gosh."

603

So I stand up, and I'm like trying to

tell myself, like, "Keep it together.

604

Keep it together.

605

Keep it together."

606

Like, this is an emotional thing for me.

607

And I stand up, and the priest just gives

this, like, beautiful spiel about moms

608

and how they have a gift from Our Lady

to all the moms, and they have roses

609

that they wanna give to all the moms.

610

And as this man is walking over to

give me a rose, and here's the thing,

611

is like my-- so many times in my

life, like Mary has given me roses and

612

spoken to me through roses, and that

was not part of Adoption Update One.

613

Like that was, that...

614

I don't think I've, like really

shared much about that, but,

615

like that is a thing in my life.

616

And so when they were like,

"Oh, we have a rose for every

617

mom," I was like, "Oh my gosh."

618

It, like started to click where I was

like, "Wait, like Our Lady of Guadalupe is

619

like, is, is gifting me a rose right now.

620

She is speaking to me right now."

621

And as this wonderful usher man

is going down the aisle and going

622

over to me to hand me this rose,

I just like start crying because,

623

like everything comes together.

624

And I, like, was reminded of the very

first time I, like really accepted

625

this infertility journey and kneeled

down and bawled in front of an image

626

of Our Lady of Guadalupe and was like,

"Mom, you need to give me some sort

627

of confirmation that I'm going to be

a mom, because I can't do it anymore."

628

And then the next day, I see...

629

Again, you gotta go listen

to the episode, you guys.

630

The next day, I, like get this

painting of Our Lady of Guadalupe,

631

and it looks exactly like me, and her

arms are wrapped around three babies,

632

and it was this confirmation of Our

Lady of Guadalupe comforting me and

633

telling me, "You're gonna be a mom."

634

And then I had a flashback

of just in October, on St.

635

Carlo Acutis' feast day, and me

walking into this random church

636

at Spanish Mass, which we never

go to Spanish Mass, you guys.

637

Why do, why do these things

keep happening at Spanish Mass?

638

We go to this random church, or I go to

this random ch- random church at Spanish

639

Mass, and I walk in right after I see

the huge billboard that I was praying for

640

that said, "You're-- Like, adoption is

the loving option," where I knew God was

641

calling us to adoption, and I walk into

the church, and they have this giant,

642

gorgeous statue of Our Lady of Guadalupe.

643

And she directly speaks to my heart and

is like, "I have always been with you.

644

I have called you here.

645

See, I told you you were gonna be a mom."

646

All these things are flashing in

my brain as this man is coming to

647

hand me this flower, and here I am

again with Our Lady of Guadalupe

648

in front of me on Mother's Day.

649

And she looks at me, and she says,

as this man's giving me this flower,

650

and she's like, "Didn't I tell you?

651

You're gonna be a mom.

652

Like, you're a mom, and we're celebrating

your first Mother's Day together because

653

I'm your mom too, and I'm watching

over you, and I'm guiding you, and I'm

654

interceding for you, and I'm with you."

655

And behind the altar in Spanish, the

words, "Am I not here who am your mother?

656

I am your mother, and

I am always with you."

657

So you can imagine at this point

I have stopped fighting the tears,

658

like tears fully streaming down.

659

My heart is f- like swelling, and I just

am like, Our Lady, man, she is so special.

660

Sh- I'm so grateful for this

relationship that we have.

661

Like, I felt like such a

special daughter on that day.

662

I was like, "Wow, Mary, you really...

663

Like, you really love me.

664

Like, you brought me here.

665

You brought me to the Our Lady of

Guadalupe Mass on Mother's Day to

666

celebrate Mother's Day together."

667

Like, she's so intentional.

668

She's so intentional.

669

She's amazing, and I love her so

much, and I couldn't have asked

670

for a better first Mother's Day.

671

Like, truly.

672

Um,

673

it was something I'll never forget.

674

And so that's my Everbe moment.

675

And just again, like, as we're nearing

the end of our adoption process, as

676

this, like, home study stretch starts

next week, these visits start next week,

677

and we wrap up this process before we

start seeing cases, it's like the timing

678

of everything is just truly impeccable.

679

You can't make this stuff up.

680

And having this moment with Our Lady on

Mother's Day, right as we're wrapping

681

up and getting ready to see cases this

summer, was just, like, exactly what

682

I needed in this part of the process.

683

So Just really wanted to share that

with you guys to keep you updated on

684

our journey and what's going on and

what we're doing and how it's going

685

and, um, how you can pray for us.

686

And then also, I just wanted to share

because I think a lot of the times when we

687

hear these kinda like big God moments in

other people's lives, we just think like,

688

"Wow," like, "Is God active in my life?"

689

Like, do I have those moments?

690

Like, I think a lot of times we can

be like, "God doesn't do that for

691

me," and the reality is he does.

692

He wants to, he does, and he will.

693

We just need to pursue him in the

same way he wants to pursue us.

694

Like, if we don't know him well

and know the ways he speaks

695

to us, we won't recognize the

ways he's working in our lives.

696

And if we don't have our eyes

open, we won't see those moments.

697

Um, so the Lord can work in your

life just as miraculously, just as

698

special as he's been working in mine.

699

He loves you so much, has an incredible

plan for your life, and wants to do these

700

grand gestures of love for you as well.

701

He wants to communicate with you.

702

He wants to show you the way.

703

He wants to just love you and just

give you your heart's desires.

704

So that's my encouragement to you.

705

Pray for the big things.

706

Pursue the Lord as much as he wants to

pursue you so that's my story today.

707

Let's wrap up with some

Everbe, uh, questions.

708

There was a couple on adoption, so

I thought it was just a very fitting

709

episode to kinda go through those.

710

Um, one of them is, "In general,

what do preparations for your

711

child look like at this stage?

712

Are you starting to prepare a nursery?

713

Have you gotten the nesting

ur- the nesting urge yet?

714

Praying for you both."

715

So I talked a little bit about that.

716

I've been working on my registry,

calling some of my close friends and

717

asking them to help me pick, like,

what products are worth it, what's not.

718

Um, and that registry is almost done.

719

I am going to share it online when

it's done because I've-- It's so funny.

720

I've had a lot of first-time moms in

my DMs come to me and be like, "I'm a

721

first-time mom, and I don't know what

to buy," like, "What's your registry?"

722

And I'm like, "I-I-- Me too.

723

I'm also gonna be a first-time mom.

724

I don't know, but I'll let you

know what I end up picking."

725

So And I have that registry done.

726

I'll share.

727

Um, and I've also had a couple people

ask, like, "I'd love to send you

728

something or support you and send

you something from your registry."

729

So if that's something you're interested

in as well, just keep an eye out.

730

I'll be posting it on my stories, and

I'll probably send it out in an email and

731

probably not talk about it on a podcast.

732

I probably won't have a

whole podcast on my registry.

733

Maybe.

734

Who knows?

735

But just keep an eye out on Instagram.

736

Um, and then do I have the nesting urge?

737

100%.

738

Like, there are just things that

I feel like I can't, like, let

739

go of in my brain that I feel

like need to get done right now.

740

Like, our carpet I feel like is

so gross, and, like, it wasn't

741

something I cared that much about.

742

But, like, thinking of a baby coming,

I'm like, "This carpet's gotta go.

743

We gotta get hardwood floors everywhere."

744

So that's something I'm trying

to see if it fits in the

745

budget, which it probably won't.

746

But I'm trying to make it work.

747

Um, and then, like, closets.

748

Like, our closets are,

like ... The storage closets

749

are kind of, like, unorganized.

750

Like, our linens closet is, like, a mess,

and, like, our guest room closet is a

751

mess, and our office closet is a mess.

752

It's just kind of like anything that

doesn't have a home around the house

753

is just, like, shoved into that closet.

754

It's kind of like Monica from Friends.

755

Like, if you come to my house,

it's like, it's pretty clean.

756

It's beautifully organized.

757

But don't go in my closets because

my closets are a nightmare.

758

So that is, like, top of my list

to get organized before baby comes.

759

Okay.

760

Next, what agency are you using?

761

Um, if you don't wanna give the

name, clues about choosing an

762

agency and what to look for.

763

What drew you to that agency?

764

I'll share here.

765

I don't know if it's, like, unsafe

to share the name or not, so I

766

haven't shared it on Instagram.

767

But this is a much smaller group that I

know is, like, my most engaged audience,

768

and I almost trust you guys more than I

just trust, like, everybody on Instagram.

769

So I'm gonna ask my agent if I can

share it publicly on Instagram,

770

but I think it's probably fine.

771

Um, Cradled in Grace is the

consultant agency that we're using.

772

So there you go.

773

We really like them.

774

Another one that was g-

uh, recommended to us was,

775

uh, I think it's Faithful

Adoption Consultants.

776

And then there was another

one, I think, that was, like,

777

Christian Adoption Consultants.

778

So those are some different

consulting agencies to look through.

779

And then when it comes to,

like, actual adoption agencies,

780

I don't know much about that.

781

So I can't really help there

What drew you to that agency?

782

What drew me to the agency is that I

knew people that adopted through this

783

agency and that had referred multiple

friends to adopt from this agency,

784

and they all had successful adoptions.

785

I wanted to make sure

that the route I was...

786

like, the per- like, the r- agency

I picked, like, had a high success

787

rate because it usually means they're

being ethical, they're walking well

788

with the mom, they're taking care

of the birth mom and not rushing

789

her to make a decision, and so then

she changes her mind at the end.

790

So they had a good success rate, um,

and they're very big on supporting the

791

birth mom, being ethical, giving her all

the supports that she needs to make sure

792

that she can be as healthy as possible

and mentally stable and prepared to

793

make this decision and truly is- wants

to follow through with the decision.

794

Um, or supporting her if she

chooses to parent the baby.

795

Are you adopting a boy or a girl?

796

Um, we don't have a gender preference.

797

We aren't gonna limit

ourselves to a boy or a girl.

798

You can't pick the gender when you're

pregnant, and we don't wanna pick it

799

now, and we don't really care, honestly.

800

I'd be so excited to have

either a boy or a girl.

801

Both sound so much fun.

802

And, um, yeah, if we were to pick

just one, it would literally cut our

803

cases that we see in half just because

we, like, chose one specific gender.

804

So we wanna be open about that.

805

So it'll be either a boy or a girl, and

it's actually hilarious that we just,

806

like, don't know what gender it is because

if I was pregnant, I would be wanting

807

to find that out as soon as possible.

808

Um, but it's just gonna be

a surprise, so we'll see.

809

I mean, I guess when you get the

case, it will tell you if it's

810

a boy or, or a girl, but it just

feels like this huge surprise, so.

811

All right, you guys.

812

Well, that's all I have for you today.

813

Um, thanks for listening,

thanks for supporting us, and

814

thanks for praying for us.

815

Have a great day.

816

We'll see you next time.