Today, I dive into the topic of holidays and the various traditions that shape our experiences. As we approach Thanksgiving and Christmas, I reflect on how my relationship with these celebrations has evolved over the years, especially in light of personal losses and changes. I share memories of cherished moments spent with my grandmother and the unique traditions we created together, from late-night gift unwrapping to family dinners at Olive Garden. However, I also acknowledge how the absence of loved ones can alter the feeling of these festive times. Ultimately, I encourage everyone to embrace what brings them joy during the holidays, whether that's continuing old traditions or creating new ones, and to remember that it's okay to feel a mix of emotions during this season.

Takeaways:

• Holidays can evoke mixed feelings, reminding us of both joy and loss in life.
• Creating new traditions can help us adapt and find joy in holiday celebrations.
• The importance of chosen family can be as significant as blood relatives during holidays.
• Everyone has different attachments to holidays, shaped by personal experiences and memories.
• Grief can change how we perceive and celebrate holidays, often leading to new customs.
• Reflecting on past memories helps us appreciate present experiences, especially during festive times.

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MacGill Hooley: 00:00:01

I'm MacGill Hooley, and this is the Life Shift Candid conversations about the pivotal moments that have changed lives forever.

MacGill Hooley: 00:00:18

Hello, my friends.

MacGill Hooley: 00:00:19

Welcome to day 21 of 30 Days, 30 episodes of the Life Shift podcast.

MacGill Hooley: 00:00:24

And if you haven't listened before, this is the 21st day in a row that I show up live, usually after work, and I either look at a list or I've just talked to someone, or I just came up with something, and I respond to that in a short, ish episode.

MacGill Hooley: 00:00:42

And I'm just trying to do this every day, not trying to record ahead.

MacGill Hooley: 00:00:46

So today I am going to talk about the holidays because we are coming up on Thanksgiving, which is next week, which somehow we're already here, although it feels like it should be this week.

MacGill Hooley: 00:00:58

So that's just odd.

MacGill Hooley: 00:01:00

But thinking back on holidays and kind of how we see them, and maybe you have traditions that are interesting to you.

MacGill Hooley: 00:01:08

I think the older I get, the less I have a solidified tradition and the less attached to the holidays I feel.

MacGill Hooley: 00:01:19

I think when I say holidays, I think mostly of Christmas.

MacGill Hooley: 00:01:22

I can't really think back and.

MacGill Hooley: 00:01:24

And think of a really true tradition that I had at Thanksgiving.

MacGill Hooley: 00:01:30

Part of it is probably because I've moved so many times in my life that we were always somewhere new, and sometimes we were in states where our family wasn't nearby.

MacGill Hooley: 00:01:39

And then when I went away to college, it wasn't always convenient to go home during the holidays.

MacGill Hooley: 00:01:43

And then as I got older, I just started creating my own quote unquote traditions.

MacGill Hooley: 00:01:48

And so I don't really have too much attachment to that.

MacGill Hooley: 00:01:52

But I can say that after my mom died, we really started this tradition of spending a lot of the Christmases, especially when my grandmother moved down to South Florida with us or near us.

MacGill Hooley: 00:02:06

We really started this tradition with her and, and made it just like this crazy thing that we always look forward to.

MacGill Hooley: 00:02:14

And it got a little out of hand, like, I guess in a good way for a long time, according to other people.

MacGill Hooley: 00:02:20

From the outside, other people are like, you guys are a little bit nuts.

MacGill Hooley: 00:02:23

But basically it would be my grandmother, my dad, and myself.

MacGill Hooley: 00:02:28

And it was like, for a long time, it was like kind of the three of us.

MacGill Hooley: 00:02:31

I mean, there were other parties involved at other times, but for the three of us, we really love to spend Christmas Eve together.

MacGill Hooley: 00:02:39

And then we would spend Christmas together.

MacGill Hooley: 00:02:41

And on Christmas Eve, sometimes we got wrapped up in this, this unwrapping one thing, and then, oh, let's just do one more.

MacGill Hooley: 00:02:48

And then let's do One more.

MacGill Hooley: 00:02:49

And I remember when I was, like, 12 or 13, we just kept going.

MacGill Hooley: 00:02:53

And then by the time we were done, it was super late into Christmas morning.

MacGill Hooley: 00:02:57

But then there was, like, nothing left to unwrap on Christmas Day, which, you know, was a fun experience and something that we could think about later and laugh about.

MacGill Hooley: 00:03:06

But what happened as I started to get older is we started just, like, buying, like, way too much for each other because we all had this thing where we really like to give the gifts.

MacGill Hooley: 00:03:16

And then it turns out that all three of us like to do that, so that there was always, like, a pile of, like, 50 gifts for the three of us.

MacGill Hooley: 00:03:22

And it was just a little intense.

MacGill Hooley: 00:03:24

But my grandmother loved giving gifts.

MacGill Hooley: 00:03:26

She loved getting gifts to the point in which sometimes she would ask if she could open other people's presents just because she liked unwrapping it.

MacGill Hooley: 00:03:35

And a lot of that comes from a childhood that she had that she didn't have a lot.

MacGill Hooley: 00:03:39

And her father wasn't very kind.

MacGill Hooley: 00:03:42

And so there were a lot of things that she was lacking there growing up.

MacGill Hooley: 00:03:46

Her mom died when she was a kid, and so I think she was able to kind of let the kid in her come out during the holiday season.

MacGill Hooley: 00:03:53

And so she really liked doing that.

MacGill Hooley: 00:03:56

And so we had some great traditions of going to Olive Garden on Christmas Eve and having dinner there, and then going back to the house and unwrapping presents and spending time together and then doing the Christmas dinner and unwrapping the next day and just having a really good time.

MacGill Hooley: 00:04:13

So those were really good memories.

MacGill Hooley: 00:04:14

And then after she passed away, Christmas didn't quite feel the same anymore.

MacGill Hooley: 00:04:21

I think we were all living through her and how much she loved doing it, and so the traditions kind of went away.

MacGill Hooley: 00:04:28

It doesn't mean that I don't like Christmas.

MacGill Hooley: 00:04:30

I do like Christmas.

MacGill Hooley: 00:04:31

I do like Christmas decorations.

MacGill Hooley: 00:04:33

In fact, I already put my tree up.

MacGill Hooley: 00:04:34

I put my tree up.

MacGill Hooley: 00:04:35

I think last week.

MacGill Hooley: 00:04:37

A lot of that comes from having a rough year, losing Mikey, and then through the election season.

MacGill Hooley: 00:04:41

That was a lot for a lot of people, including myself.

MacGill Hooley: 00:04:44

And so it was just like, let's just bring some cheer.

MacGill Hooley: 00:04:46

Put up the Christmas tree tree.

MacGill Hooley: 00:04:48

It makes me happy.

MacGill Hooley: 00:04:49

Every morning I turn on the Christmas tree, and it's on all day until I go to bed.

MacGill Hooley: 00:04:53

And it just.

MacGill Hooley: 00:04:54

It's a nice little reminder of, like, happy times and happy memories.

MacGill Hooley: 00:04:59

t I have been fortunate since: 1999

MacGill Hooley: 00:05:07

I became quick friends with my Friend Brent and his family really just brought me into the fold.

MacGill Hooley: 00:05:14

And starting from, like, week two of college, I was going back and hanging out with his family during hurricanes, during holidays, during any time that I wasn't going to visit my own family, I was invited over.

MacGill Hooley: 00:05:26

So it was that Mother's Day, Father's Day, Thanksgiving, all sorts of things, and I just became one of the family.

MacGill Hooley: 00:05:32

And so over the years, I've been able to go to so many family events and feel like I belonged there.

MacGill Hooley: 00:05:40

And I don't know what we'll do this year.

MacGill Hooley: 00:05:42

I don't know if that's part of what's in the cards.

MacGill Hooley: 00:05:45

Everything just feels a little weird this year, just in general.

MacGill Hooley: 00:05:49

But I'm just so thankful for the last, like, 25 years, I've had the opportunity to spend time with a family that is not by blood, but people that chose to allow me into their lives and be a part of that.

MacGill Hooley: 00:06:03

And so I never really ever felt too alone on a holiday.

MacGill Hooley: 00:06:07

And I guess that's a good thing.

MacGill Hooley: 00:06:09

And I can attach myself to memories of the times that my dad and I got to spend with my grandmother during her favorite time of year.

MacGill Hooley: 00:06:18

I would.

MacGill Hooley: 00:06:19

I would venture to say it's her favorite time of year.

MacGill Hooley: 00:06:22

And so those memories are really sweet, and those are things that I'll always remember.

MacGill Hooley: 00:06:26

But as far as other traditions go, I don't think I had any.

MacGill Hooley: 00:06:30

I can remember little spots growing up.

MacGill Hooley: 00:06:32

I don't really remember too much about my mom and the Christmases that I had with her.

MacGill Hooley: 00:06:38

I do know, just as a little side note, I knew she didn't like Christmas very much.

MacGill Hooley: 00:06:43

And the reason she didn't like Christmas very much is because when she was 18, two days before Christmas, her father died of a heart attack shoveling snow outside.

MacGill Hooley: 00:06:53

And I remember hearing stories from my dad and my dad's mom about how they got the call and they ran a couple blocks down the street to go sit with the family and do all these things and remember how hard that season was.

MacGill Hooley: 00:07:07

And then it kind of, like, made sense.

MacGill Hooley: 00:07:10

The one Christmas I remember with my mom, I remember it being like, December 23rd, 24th.

MacGill Hooley: 00:07:17

We didn't have a tree yet, and my parents had.

MacGill Hooley: 00:07:20

Were divorced at this time.

MacGill Hooley: 00:07:22

And I remember going to Kmart with her, and we purchased a fully decorated, fully lit tree and brought that home.

MacGill Hooley: 00:07:31

And that was our Christmas tree that year.

MacGill Hooley: 00:07:34

And I think that might be the same year that I have this one VHS tape of a Christmas moment when my grandfather and his wife came over to See my mom and me for Christmas and I.

MacGill Hooley: 00:07:47

I think I got my Nintendo that year maybe, and I got Chapstick, which is in the video.

MacGill Hooley: 00:07:54

And it's just a little bit ridiculous.

MacGill Hooley: 00:07:55

But that's the one memory I have of having Christmas with my mom.

MacGill Hooley: 00:08:01

It's kind of sad to think about that I don't have those memories, but again, I was only 8, so it's kind of hard to have those memories last as long as they do.

MacGill Hooley: 00:08:10

And all of this random rambling comes from thinking about how we all have these different attachments to the holidays.

MacGill Hooley: 00:08:21

Some people hate the holidays because they remind them of experiences that they had as a child that weren't so great.

MacGill Hooley: 00:08:29

Some people used to be super religious and felt forced into that.

MacGill Hooley: 00:08:34

And then now that they are no longer religious, they feel a certain way about certain holidays and so that rubs them the wrong way.

MacGill Hooley: 00:08:42

Some people are like all into it and decorate to the nines and that just brings them joy and it's something that they really enjoy.

MacGill Hooley: 00:08:50

But I don't think there's a right way to do any of it.

MacGill Hooley: 00:08:54

I mean, a little side note, it's very weird to think that people get more presents on somebody else's birthday than on their own birthday.

MacGill Hooley: 00:09:03

Have you ever thought of that?

MacGill Hooley: 00:09:05

Like, so I get more presents on Jesus's birthday than I do on my own.

MacGill Hooley: 00:09:09

Okay.

MacGill Hooley: 00:09:10

But that's just a random little side thought for you.

MacGill Hooley: 00:09:13

So in any case, I hope you are doing what works for you this holiday season.

MacGill Hooley: 00:09:18

I hope you are choosing the things that bring you joy and the things that make you happy.

MacGill Hooley: 00:09:23

And this should be the time that you get to do that.

MacGill Hooley: 00:09:26

If you are feeling sad and alone, that's okay too.

MacGill Hooley: 00:09:29

If this is just not your season and you're just trying to get through, that's okay.

MacGill Hooley: 00:09:33

If you need to talk, I'm around.

MacGill Hooley: 00:09:35

Please reach out to me.

MacGill Hooley: 00:09:36

I am happy to talk about that.

MacGill Hooley: 00:09:38

But in any case, this went nowhere this whole day.

MacGill Hooley: 00:09:42

21.

MacGill Hooley: 00:09:43

But those were my random rambling thoughts on the holidays and some of the traditions that I had and some of the things that I haven't done.

MacGill Hooley: 00:09:51

But I am super grateful for my family and my adopted family here in Orlando that has taken care of me for over 25 years for all sorts of different holidays.

MacGill Hooley: 00:10:02

So thank you to you for listening.

MacGill Hooley: 00:10:04

Thank you to my adopted family, thank you to my regular family.

MacGill Hooley: 00:10:09

And I will be back tomorrow on day 22, which will be a Friday.

MacGill Hooley: 00:10:14

And I'm going to see Wicked in the afternoon.

MacGill Hooley: 00:10:17

So who knows when I'm going to record probably after that, so maybe it'll just be a review for Wicked.

MacGill Hooley: 00:10:23

Other than that, I'm going to say goodbye because I can't stop talking.

MacGill Hooley: 00:10:27

So have a great day 21 and I will see you tomorrow.

MacGill Hooley: 00:10:43

For more information, please visit www.thelifeshiftpodcast.com.