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Mennonites, Marriage, and Messes w/ Jess Martin
Episode 212th September 2022 • Barnyard Language • Caite Palmer and Arlene Hunter
00:00:00 00:41:52

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Our second season is kicking off with Jess Martin, who raises dairy cattle and children with her husband. Jess talks to us about the importance of time management, cattle selection, and how her Mennonite faith plays a central role in her life.

If you enjoy the show, we encourage you to support us by becoming a patron. Go to www.patreon.com/barnard language to make a small monthly donation to help cover the cost of making a show. Please rate and review the podcast and follow the show so you never miss an episode.

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Transcripts

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Welcome to barnyard language.

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We are Katie and Arlene, an Iowa sheep farmer and an Ontario dairy

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farmer with six kids, two husbands, and a whole lot of chaos between us.

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So kick off your boots, reheat your coffee, and join us

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for some barnyard language.

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Honest, talk about running farms and raising families.

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In case your kids haven't already learned all the swears from being in the barn.

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It might be a good idea to put on some headphones or turn down the volume.

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While many of our guests are professionals.

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They aren't your professionals.

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If you need personalized advice, consult your people.

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All right.

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Welcome back to season two of barnyard language.

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Now, I guess technically we've already had one episode, but this

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is our first update for season two.

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And Katie and I haven't talked on zoom for a month, so we don't know how long

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this update is gonna take, because while we still message each other,

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we actually haven't, you know, been.

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Semi face to face online.

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You know what I mean?

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So, Katie, as usual, I'm gonna start with you.

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What has been going on the last month we took

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August off.

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It feels, it feels very on brand that we're starting season two with the second

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episode of season two, instead of the first on for our listeners, we had quite a

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discussion about whether the most recent.

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Episode was the last episode of season one or the first episode of season two.

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So it is the first season episode of season two, or maybe it's both.

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Maybe.

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I don't know.

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I don't know why this is bothering me so much.

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It doesn't matter.

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I was thinking about the update this morning and I was like, I'm sure I have

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lots of exciting stuff to talk about.

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And I was like, not really kids went back to.

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When does school start where you live?

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They started, I wanna say the girl child started August 25th and then

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the boy child started the week after, because he's in the four year old

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preschool and she's in kindergarten.

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And she's been looking forward to kindergarten for months.

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Is it all she imagined?

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It would

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be?

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I, I think she anticipated that perhaps all of her classmates would've really.

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Changed and matured through the summer.

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Apparently somebody called her a mean word yesterday.

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And when I asked who it was, she said they were wearing shorts.

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Okay.

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Well that narrows it down.

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Guess I'm not guess it wasn't that big a deal?

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I don't know.

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She is this is the first year that she's been in a different

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room than all her friends.

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They have.

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Four classrooms of kids because there's, you know, 60 kids in the grade.

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So she and her friends are all in different rooms, which is good for them.

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But they're off doing.

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God knows what, without her, you know, in the kindergarten room next door.

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And she still sees them at lunch and at recess and outlet.

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Sure.

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But it's very, very dramatic.

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Yeah.

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And so is the boy child's pre, is it preschool?

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pre-K what do you call it?

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Yeah.

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Is that in a different building than he was in last year?

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Is that a new?

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It is.

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So the way it works is that our.

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Everything is sort of clustered together.

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The elementary school and junior and senior high school are all

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it's two buildings, but they're right next to each other.

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Okay.

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And then the daycare and three year old preschool that they've been in is just up

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the block from that one classroom of four year old preschool, which is run by the

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school district and not by the daycare.

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Daycare runs three year old preschool.

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The school district runs four year old pre.

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But there's the community center, which has the Y M C a and like the big gym and

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everything is where the, both of our kids.

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Their preschool classroom has been in that building, which is really nice because

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when the weather's crap, they can just go to the gym and run around and burn it off.

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And it's nice because they can just walk from, you know, from daycare to preschool

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to they go over to big school for meals.

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And now the girl child is at big school all day and the

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boy child goes back to little.

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And then they go over to

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daycare.

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So, so they will continue to go to roughly the same geographic location.

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Yeah.

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But it's, it is slightly different, slightly different

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setup depending on the, how

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well they are.

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Yep.

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Yep.

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And it's really nice that everything is in one place because yeah, two,

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you see a lot of, you know, town, kids walking, who, you know, drop a couple

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siblings off at daycare and at head start and then they drop some off at

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four year old preschool and then they drop some off at elementary and then.

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Go on to the, the high school.

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So it's, mm-hmm, , there's a lot of big families in town.

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Yeah.

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So there's a lot of dropping people off at different buildings, but so

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it's nice that they're all right next to each other like that.

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Oh, there's gotta be some

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farm updates though.

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It was summer.

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Yeah.

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Things were happening.

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Yeah.

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That's about it.

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Arlene happened.

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It was summer.

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Things have happened.

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thank.

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We're finishing up third crop hay.

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It's been rough, I think a little bit.

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We're getting to the part of the year.

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That is very, very humid in Iowa.

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And so getting the hay dry enough to bale has been challenging

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mm-hmm but it is what it is.

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We have a, it's a nice looking crop.

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It's just getting it baled and in the barn, that's been a bit more of an.

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But whatever.

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Other than that, just starting to get things wrangled around for putting

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the Rams back in with the U and the bull back in with the cows and getting

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everybody put back together so they can be happy, which will be nice.

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There'll be a lot less noise when everyone is back where they belong.

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Yeah.

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We have, you know, cows that are starting to come into heat again,

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after, you know, having capped.

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The spring or whatever.

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It's getting noisy out there and the bull is starting to get real grumpy

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about the fact that they keep walking away and leaving him at the barn.

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So it'll be nice to let him back out.

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We really haven't done anything for phone thoroughly.

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We're very boring people.

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that's okay.

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You know, which is, is good.

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It's good.

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Not to have anything too exciting to talk about.

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How have things been at your place?

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It's been good.

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August tends to be one of our busier months.

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Our, what used to be our county Holstein show.

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And it's now kind of our regional Holstein show because a lot of

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counties are, you know, as tends to happen in lots of places.

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There are getting to be fewer farms and fewer people who show cows as well.

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So that is in August.

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So there was a lot of prep work for that.

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And then my.

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Daughter and husband and various fours went to a couple of other

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fairs who had open heifer shows.

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So not, not milking cow classes.

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So that makes it a little easier, cuz you're not having to milk them

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on site or anything, but yeah.

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Brought some heifers to a couple smaller fairs.

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Our county four H show happened in.

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So there was a lot of showing going on, washing whites.

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It felt like every other every week and lots of stain treating and trying

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to get them ready again to be worn.

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And another tradition which happened in August this year too, is I go

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every year to a family camp or I've been going since my daughter.

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One, I think was the first time I went as an adult and it's a camp that I went

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to when I was growing up with my, with my mom and then went on my own as a kid, too.

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So it's like a traditional summer camp where kids go and spend a week

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and can do lots of fun and stuff.

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But then.

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They have a family camp session every summer where you can, where parents

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can go with younger kids who aren't ready to go to camp on their own yet.

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So you still get to stay at a cabin and there's staff there to run the activities.

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And there's a cook there to prepare the meals.

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But you get to go to summer camp as grown up.

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So with your children, of course.

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So it's kind of a good chance to be a fun mom because I'm not worrying about

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laundry or cooking or planning activities.

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And.

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With the, the change of routine.

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So he didn't maybe have as much fun as I had hoped, but I think it was

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still a good experience overall, but you know, it had its challenges.

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I went with just the, the younger two.

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Nephews along with us, cuz the older ones have kind of aged out of going to camp

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with their mom, but it was still good.

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And some of my cousins and are on staff there now.

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And I had some aunts and, and cousins who were campers as well.

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So that was pretty cool too.

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Another farm based change that we've had is my father-in-law previously

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had sheep and he'd been downsizing his flock of it in the last.

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Anyway, he had some knee replacements done.

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And so he downsized at that point a few years ago.

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And he'd made the decision back in may or June that he was, he was

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gonna sell the remaining sheep.

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So the day the sheet moved out the.

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Show heifers moved over across the road to the former sheep barn, which

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is great because now they have water bowls and they're separate pens.

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So everyone can get fed separately, their special diets for depending

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what they need to look like.

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For show season.

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But we're also learning that the sheep fence is not necessarily

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standing up to what Holstein, heifers and yearlings require of it.

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So we've had a few escapees, so that's required a little bit of a, a fine

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tuning in terms of getting the fences up to par for what we're requiring it to

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do well.

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And I, I know one thing we've learned with running sheep band cattle is.

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Cattle have much longer legs than sheep do.

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Yes.

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Yeah.

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And can jump that's true.

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Much higher than the average sheep mm-hmm yeah.

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And when they stretch over the fence to get grass on the other side, then yeah.

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Things can get squished out too.

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Yeah.

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I suppose sheep tend to go through the fence where cattle tend to go.

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Over to reach stuff.

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Yeah, that's right.

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Yeah.

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So I always, I always said when we had, we used to have goats and I

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said, I was just gonna put like a 12.

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Chain link fence down the middle with like Barb wire and a machine gun tower, just

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like down the middle of the farm and then not even bother you basically need the,

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yeah.

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You need like the Jurassic park fencing

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if you're gonna have going through.

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Yeah, exactly.

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But I figured if you just put it down the middle and told them not to go

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anywhere near it, they'd spend all their time going back and forth across it.

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And they'd probably never noticed that the rest of it was not fenced

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there.

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Yeah.

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You know, good

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theory.

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Yeah.

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Yeah, we had a a black Angus cow a couple years ago.

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That was a beautiful cow who went to the sale barn because

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she kept destroying pipe gates.

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Like just shredding them.

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I was like, you know, those gates are expensive.

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That's that's not worth it.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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Anyway.

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So in other summer news, oh, it doesn't feel like a whole lot sometimes.

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We have fabulous neighbors who let us use their pool.

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So we spent some time over there on the hot days.

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My parents actually bought cottage not too far away under an hour.

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So we've spent a couple days they're enjoying their new Lakeview and.

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Last week on the way home from the cottage, I hit a deer.

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So my, the first day of school, when my first day of silence in a long time,

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when there was nobody in the house, I spent most of that first day calling

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the insurance company and going to the body shop and trying to figure

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out all the steps that you have to go through to get your vehicle fixed

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up after you run into something.

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So that wasn't ideal, but nobody was hurt.

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Well, other than the deer obvious.

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But the humans were not hurt and the van will get fixed.

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So that's fine.

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Yeah.

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And the kids started back to school.

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So we have, the oldest is going into her final year of high

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school, which is hard to believe.

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And.

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Number two is starting his first year of high school.

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So that's been a new experience and he seems pretty excited about it so far.

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Our high school starts about an hour and a bit earlier than the elementary school.

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So they're actually out the door to go to the bus.

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Sometimes even before the next two, even wake up in the morning.

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Thankfully, my two early risers are the ones who were in high school.

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So they're at the door at about seven 30 in the morning to get to

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get on the bus and go to high school.

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And then my elementary guide grade seven and grade three.

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So they're growing up.

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My,

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My two were.

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So desperate to take the bus mm-hmm , but I just, with the little one, you know,

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next year, next year I'll be ready.

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And I'm probably gonna say this until they're both in college.

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That next year I'll be ready for them to take the bus.

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The kids really wanna take the bus, but it's a, we know the bus

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driver, we know all the other kids on their route, but it's still just

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by virtue of living in the country.

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It's still, you know, 45 minutes, morning and afternoon mm-hmm and I

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just can't quite, you know, especially since Jim is now driving within a

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mile and a half of school, every.

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Yeah, it's I just can't quite pull the trigger on letting him ride the bus.

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Yeah.

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We are lucky in the sense that we're in the country, but we're

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only a few minutes from town.

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So like the high school bus route, I think is . I think my son clocked it at so

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yeah, they're the, the last ones on and.

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Just a few kilometers from town.

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So they actually have a pretty short route.

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So that's nice.

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How many minutes did you say it was?

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Four.

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Oh, that's not bad at all.

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yeah, no, we're, we're only like six or seven miles from

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town, but because there's.

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So few farms out here, you know, farmsteads mm-hmm and there's

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so few kids, they cover a lot of territory picking up up enough kids

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to make it worth driving the bus.

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Yeah.

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It just depends.

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Where on the route you happen to be?

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Yeah.

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Oh, I did sign a girl child up for Clover kids for four H.

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Which starts in two weeks.

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I think, I think she'll really enjoy that.

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It's the, that's fun.

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The, the baby four H mm-hmm , you

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know, I don't think we, we have Clover buds here, but I've

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never heard of Clover kids.

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So that be it.

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Oh,

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it's probably the same thing.

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They go for like two hours a week and do a craft and have a snack or whatever.

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I don't know.

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Mm-hmm brainwash.

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'em young.

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Absolutely.

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yeah.

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You know, she's.

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She's getting really into animals and it's astounding, the amount of science

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they're learning from watching TV.

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Mm-hmm I'm.

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I think I posted something to the show Instagram the other day, but

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my kids have a better understanding of a lot of science than I do.

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And I went to college for a science program.

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Yeah.

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And my kids still have a better understanding of it.

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You know, but I'm sure what they're learning is taught

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in a much more engaging way.

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So yeah.

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Note to college professors, maybe watch some watch some

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PBS and get some tips on that.

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Yeah.

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Check out story bots or yes, the other.

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Oh yeah.

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But number blocks.

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We're all about the number blocks.

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Yes.

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Number

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blocks is a good one too.

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Yeah.

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Yep.

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So how about we move on to our first guest of season two?

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And this I don't think is, is secret knowledge since she posted it on her

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own Instagram, but when we recorded, this was back in July, she hadn't

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announced yet, but she's actually now expecting her second child.

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So congratulations to our guests so that you're gonna hear in just a minute.

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Wow.

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Congratulations guys.

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That's exciting.

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So today we're talking to Jess Martin, a dairy farmer from Southern Ontario.

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So she's from my province, Jess.

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We start each of our interviews with the same question.

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This is a way to introduce yourself to our listeners.

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And we ask, what are you growing?

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So this can cover crops, livestock, family businesses,

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and all manner of other things.

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So, Jess, what are you grow?

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I am growing a variety of things.

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I'm happy to be on the podcast today.

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So I do farm with my husband, Ian and our son Brody.

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So obviously I am helping grow him and we milk 110 cows and we also grow

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all our own crops to feed the cows.

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And then alongside that we grow all our own forges and also

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some other crops that we cash

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crop as.

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And what breed of cattle are you milking Holsteins.

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Yeah.

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Is there as a non-dairy farmer?

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Is there a reason that everybody just has one kind generally?

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I'm not sure how to answer that, but we it's just our, it's

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our definitely our preference.

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They, they milk more than what jerseys would.

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And yeah, we just love the.

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I would say there are some people that have mixed herds in terms of

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say, if you were a purebred herd and you were registering cattle,

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if you had say, if you, like, I know there are some people who have

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Holsteins and jerseys, then you're.

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You're kind of got those dual streams in terms of registration

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and things like that.

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And then there are some things like stall size that are gonna be better

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for say your, your bigger cow.

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So like if you had Holsteins and jerseys in a, in a barn, then you know, the

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jerseys are gonna get messier in your stalls, because if they're bigger

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for your Holsteins, then they're gonna be almost too big for a Jersey.

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So, I mean, there are, there are definitely some mixed,

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lots of mixed herds out there.

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Logistical reasons.

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All

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right.

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Yes, absolutely.

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And what kind of setup do you have Jess?

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In terms of your, your barn.

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That's one of the other usual dairy questions

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have a parlor.

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So that would definitely affect if we would add in some jerseys as well.

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We have a herringbone swing parlor So we can milk.

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It's 24, so we can milk 12 on one side at one time.

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And then we also have a compost beded pack where the cows lie on.

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So we have no stalls, they just lie on the compost pack.

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Right.

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And did you grow up on a farm yourself or what is your background?

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I

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did not.

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So this is a huge change for me, but it's been a fun learning curve.

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I had no experience whatsoever with dairy or farming.

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My grandparents I had spent some time there on the farm, but other than that,

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basically it was new to me when I met Ian.

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I did do some milking when we.

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Had started dating, but it was all new to me after we got married.

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And then I just got thrown into it milked twice, sometimes three times a day.

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And now I, I love it.

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I wouldn't know anything else.

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And yeah, I am so happy to be a part of it.

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So one of our goals in starting the podcast was to connect with

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other families who are farming and raising kids on the farm.

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So what is your favorite thing about raising your little one on the farm?

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And what's your favorite thing about the stage that he's at right now?

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That is a great question.

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There is so many joys in raising kids on a farm.

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Considering I didn't come from it.

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I am grateful to be able to raise a kid on the farms, just seeing all the

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new life I think is a huge blessing.

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And also.

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I just, yeah, I love the stage that he is at because he is learning

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so many new things every day.

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Sure.

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It's a very busy stage, but it is also a good stage.

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He loves the cows.

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He loves going up to them, interacting with them.

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And as he grows older, I know we will be able to teach them so many things.

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I feel like animals can teach us so many things and just having

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that connection with an animal and teaching them the hard work and

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dedication that goes into raising them.

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Will go a long way in his life, whether he chooses to stay on the

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farm or not, we don't know, but we know we can raise him with such good

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values and hard work, hard work ethic.

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Yeah.

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And how old

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is he right now?

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I'm not sure if we got that at the beginning.

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He's just a little over one.

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He turned one in March.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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So that, he's just a

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little tater.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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But he's walking.

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So he is very busy in the barn.

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We definitely it's, we know it's a danger, but we, we try and watch

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him as good as we can for sure.

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And is this a multi-generational farm?

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Is this a farm that's been in your husband's family for years or decades

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or any of that kind of stuff or what's the history of the place where you're.

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Yes, it is so Ian and I are first generation dairy farmers.

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We farm with Ian's parents and.

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So Brody will be if he chooses to we'll be fifth generation.

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So definitely a multi-generation farm.

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Ian's parents are still very involved, which we are grateful for.

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We're just working on taking over.

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They still help.

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And his grandma actually lives.

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We live on farm and his grandma actually lives still in the

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other part of our house.

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So we are definitely a multi-generation farm.

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I think as someone who also didn't come from a farm background, that was one

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of the biggest adjustments for me was, you know, we also farm with my in-laws.

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They live across the road.

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Okay.

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And not so much actually the experience of having them so close, but other people's

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understanding of what it would be like to have your in-laws across the road.

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It really does.

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Reflect real quickly on how good your relationship is with them and

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how your partner's relationship is with their parents when you're

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spending that much time together.

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And it's not, you know, Christmas and.

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You know, Easter or whatever, but it's an ongoing situation.

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Absolutely.

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It brings many challenges, but it's also very rewarding.

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I know them better than I would know them.

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If I would just see them Christmas and a few other times a year, I

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definitely know them a lot, lot better.

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I think it's so good for our kids too, to see their grandparents and, you

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know, older generations in general being active people and not just, you

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know, grandma and grandpa sitting on the couch, waiting for the kids to

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come over so they can feed 'em candy.

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It's, you know, it's nice to, to learn from them and to absolutely

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be more active together.

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Absolutely.

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So what is, is the, what has been the biggest challenge?

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So far to having a little one on the.

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Besides the fact that he can walk now, which is definitely a a game changer.

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Yeah.

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So definitely we are grateful for grandparents to help watch him in

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that aspect when they are around.

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And if not, I mean, strollers are great, but besides that the biggest challenge

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would just be how to manage your time.

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Like farming is always busy.

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There is always things to do, but just basically managing

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your time to be able to.

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Do it all.

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I don't know if that's even possible, but we, we can at least try and also

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bringing him alongside farming, but not overworking him or making him do too much.

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I mean, obviously he's not working, but pushing him enough to know that we

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still need to get the work done, but not doing too much is constantly a balance.

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Yeah.

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It's always hard to know, you know, when to stop, right?

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Because like you said, the list is never done.

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You're never fully, there's always something you could be doing, but, and

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if you're already together as a family, then it's like, oh, well it's family time.

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But yeah.

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You know, sometimes that, that, that can turn into just working

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all the time and never really having those breaks that you need.

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That's right.

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And I know as we, like, if we, if God allows us to have more children or we

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have more of a family and our family keeps growing, it'll keep changing.

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So the challenges always come, but we're, we're just trying to adopt as we go.

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So I did check with Jess before the interview to see if Mennonite

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questions were on the table.

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And she said that she's good to answer some questions on this topic.

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So I said, well, try not to go like go totally off into this territory.

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And I feel like this is the most basic question that you probably

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get all the time and I could Google it, but I'm asking you instead.

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So what's the difference between being Mennonite and being Amish?

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So that's actually a tough question.

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I was not sure how to answer that.

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We do not have a lot of Amish right in this area.

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And it's really hard to explain because Mennonite is such a vague term.

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And so is Amish.

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Like there's a lot of differences within the Amish and a lot of differences

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within the Mennonite, but basically kind of an overall answer is that

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I'm just gonna need a minute here.

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So basically everybody interprets the Bible differently.

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So whether you're Catholic, whether you're Presbyterian, whichever religion you are,

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everyone interprets the Bible differently.

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And as for Amish and Mennonite, basically I would say they are

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more enclosed within themselves.

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They believe in shunning which would be the most common

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one that people know about.

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And also I would say that they don't necessarily have as much of a biblical

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view as what Mennonites would.

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So we would take, we interpret the Bible a lot different than what they would.

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I'm not even exactly sure if they use the same Bible as what we would.

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I would need to look into that a little bit more, but basically it's different

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interpretations of the Bible and they want to interpret it in a very simple.

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Sure.

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So like you said, even be within being Mennonite, that looks

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different for different people.

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So for someone from the outside looking at different Mennonites who, you know,

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some are using a horses and buggy and some are using a lot more technology,

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both like in the home and on the farm.

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What are some of the differences within the Mennonite faith that, that makes that

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possible, I guess, is what I'm asking.

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Yeah.

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So another great question.

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And that's again with how we interpret the Bible.

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So Mennonites, which would be, well, that depends where you live, but

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in our area like Olo door and Dave Martin they would drive horse and

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buggy because they would want to be set apart from the world in that way.

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So Jesus calls us to be set apart from the world and that's how they

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interpret that portion of the Bible.

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They take it in a very literal sense.

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Whereas me personally, as a Christian, I interpret it more in a spiritual

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sense to be set apart from the world.

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So yes, we still dress modestly.

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We still wear headship prevailing, but we do not take it in the literal sense to be.

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Like set apart from the world, we go out on missions.

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We want to spread the gospel around to the world, whereas they're more

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secluded within their communities.

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Does that make sense?

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Yeah, that does make sense.

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Do you have other questions on that?

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Yeah, so I guess one of the other questions I had was in terms of so in

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some areas people are homeschooling or have their own Mennonite schools where

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you live, would, would kids be going to separate in, in a separate school system

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or are they in the public school system or how does that part of, of parenting

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work?

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So our church does have a own, our own school.

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But a couple other churches are joined in with that school that come to that school.

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But definitely just with the way the public school system is, we prefer to

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center our kids to a Christian school because they also teach about the Bible

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and that's a great asset and we, and just also the community asset of it is huge.

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and we really, really appreciate that.

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Our school would be funded by the churches a variety of churches that would

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be in our denomination of Mennonite.

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And also you do need to pay tuition to go there.

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So not everyone in our church goes to our school.

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There is some that are in the public school system.

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It is your choice, personally, as parents as to where you want

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to send your kids to school.

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Sure.

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That makes sense.

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So were you and your husband both from the same community I'm trying to ask,

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like what the, were you the same level of Mennonite when you got married?

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Yes,

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we were

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to come up with a polite way to be like, You know,

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no, that's totally fine.

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Yes.

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So we were school friends or our parents were friends, so we were friends

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from little up and we did attend the same school and we attended different

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churches, but they would be from the same like Mennonite denomination.

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So, and now we attend the church that he went to, but that was

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just because it was closer.

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It's not sure, really any different.

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There's a lot of Amish in our area, in the central us and my dad's side of the family

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lives in Northwestern, Pennsylvania, where there's also a lot of Amish.

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And seeing the difference between the two areas is a little

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bit shocking, to be honest.

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You know, the Amish here wear colors.

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Drink come out and do, and most of them have cell phones , which is a little

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like, you know more power to them.

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And I, I understand why people have different interpretations,

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but it is interesting how widespread that difference can be.

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And some of it really doesn't make.

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Yeah, it's not really like, it's mostly just church rules.

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It's not biblical, whereas like our church has guidelines, but it is still biblical

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based and that's a huge difference.

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Yeah, some things we don't even understand about other Mennonites as well.

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So it's really difficult for us to explain because there are

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hundreds of different types of Mennonites especially in this area.

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So it's difficult to explain, but

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yeah.

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So some of those, some of those rules in terms of how people decide to

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separate from the world, or, you know, for lack of a better term, then that

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can be very, very specific to that church and that particular community.

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So those rules don't actually translate maybe to other other groups.

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That's right.

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That's right.

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It can be very specifically to one church.

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Definitely.

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Mm-hmm yes.

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So you recently started a series on your Instagram page called let's talk Tuesday.

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What topics are you talking about and who are you hoping to connect with?

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I have had a very wide variety of topics so far.

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I had started with time management and I have done some farming related topics.

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I do.

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One that's coming up that is about anxiety.

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And do we deal with anxiety with the farming debt load?

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I'm working on that currently because I have got it asked frequently and somebody

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just asked me it again, which is a very interesting question, personally,

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Ian and I do not deal with it now.

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We know a lot of people that do we use it as motivat.

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But I'm looking forward to talking about that a bit more, but a target audience

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would be kind of a wide variety of people.

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That depends what topic, but hopefully a farming community so that they can maybe.

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Learn from us if I wanna put it that way.

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And then possibly other consumers, people that are not on a farm to understand what

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we deal with whether it is anxiety or just some basic on-farm things or on-farm

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topics that we want to spread the word.

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Do you have any

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time management tips for us from your let's talk to stay time management?

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Sure.

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I can use them

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all.

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Sorry, same, same.

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I've kind of given up, but okay.

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well, I agree.

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It's hard and it's especially difficult when you have a child, because you can

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have a plan and that plan can all get thrown out the window in one second.

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So that's why I was saying the challenge with having a

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kid is time management, right?

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So I feel.

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Time management is wide.

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Like it's not just on farming.

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I feel like we can all work on it, whether I'm speaking about it or not.

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But time management tips basically not waste too much time on your phone by

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like procrastinating things, which I feel is a big challenge in this day and age.

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And some other things would be.

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I'm gonna need a minute to think about this one too.

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That's all right.

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I didn't put it in the script.

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that's okay.

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I'm trying to think I had another question and now it's gone.

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So there that's one way to manage your time.

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Yeah.

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Another time management tip would be to organize your life.

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And I feel like that's a wide variety, but organizing decluttering your space

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keeping your life like using either your phone day planner, some sort of day

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planner to try and stay organized and on top of things with times and try and.

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Like plan your days.

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According.

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So today I had an appointment this morning podcast in the afternoon.

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So I knew that this day was a day that was going to be dedicated for that.

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So I got a babysitter for Brody, so I could do some other

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things and stay focused on that.

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Whereas if I would've had an appointment and done a podcast

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another day, it would've taken out two whole days pretty much.

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So trying to manage your time in a way like that, when you have

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children, I feel can be very helpful.

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. And there are many other ways for time management, but I would feel that not

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procrastinating and just organizing your life can be in so many different ways.

Speaker:

So we ask all of our guests, if you were going to dominate a category

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at county fair, what would it be?

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And categories can be real or made up to ensure that you win.

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I feel like something like a Planco or something that just has good luck.

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I have, I have.

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Seemingly good luck when it comes to like names that are or games that are,

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have a draw or something like that, where it's simply just luck of a draw.

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I seem to randomly have good luck with those.

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So some sort of fair game that just has good luck is something

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that I would maybe dominate it.

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That's a good option.

Speaker:

It's good to know when you're that your luck's gonna hold out.

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It's not always, but tends to have better luck.

Speaker:

That's right.

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Is there anything else you want to chat about before we move into our

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cussing and discussing segment?

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No, I do not think so.

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Thank you so much for having me

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well, you can stick around for this one, cuz you can

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discuss, you don't have to cuss.

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You can discuss whatever you want.

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So I will introduce the cussing and discussing segment.

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We've registered for an online platform called speak pipe where you can leave your

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cussing and discussing entries for us.

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And we will play them on the show.

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So go to speakpipe.com/barnyard language and leave us a voice memo.

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Or you can always send us an email at Barnard language, gmail.com

Speaker:

and we'll read it it for.

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So Katie, what are you guessing or discussing this week?

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The gross spills that you find when you have little kids, I'm

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hoping they'll grow out of it.

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Eventually.

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I did you just find one?

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Not yet today.

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Knock on wood, but I just, like, I feel like I can just

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feel them creeping up on me.

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You know?

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Like you let your kid have an apple sauce pouch and before you know, it you'll

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pick something up and there's apple sauce, like on the bottom of it, it just.

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I swear.

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I could probably lock my kids in a padded room with nothing, and

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they would still find a way to.

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Some, some kind of sticky, sticky, spilled mess.

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I, I don't know how they do it.

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Yeah.

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Or it's finding the container days later and thinking, when did someone

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eat this product and how long ago did it make its way into the house?

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I think the best part of being out of the bottle and sippy cup phase is not finding

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things under the couch that are like.

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Yeah.

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You know, I'm generally pretty frugal about stuff like that, but even I

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had at least one bottle per child that got tossed because it was just.

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Nope.

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Nope.

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Not gonna do it just, yeah.

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Nope.

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Before having kids, I didn't know that I wanted couches that went all the

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way to the floor, but I think that I probably do want couches that go

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all the way to the floor cuz then all the stuff wouldn't roll under there.

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Yeah.

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And now it's the

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pets throwing stuff under there.

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I know it would be uncomfortable, but I kind of feel like if you could make

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your whole house out of cinder blocks and then like, just have a pressure

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washer that came down from the ceiling.

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Yeah.

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Like that, you know, furniture and everything outta cinder blocks.

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Like obviously not very HOA or very cozy, but.

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It would be easier to, it would be cleaner.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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For sure.

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Yeah.

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Jess, what do you have to discuss and discuss?

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I definitely agree with finding gross things in the house.

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I always find Brody loves macaroni, so I always find dried up.

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Gross macaronis everywhere.

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Cuz they stick to his bum and then I try and wipe him off, but I find

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him dragged all over the house.

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So definitely relatable.

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Definitely.

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I,

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I had no idea how much time I'd spend picking things up off the

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floor and going, what was this before it became what it is now?

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It's true.

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Like, is it a blueberry?

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Is it poop?

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Who knows?

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Like, Ugh, gross.

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Arlene, what do you have?

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I'm going off in a different direction and I'm going to discuss or cuss or talk to

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you guys about the difficulty in making friends as an adult, because I have some,

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you know, some good friends nearby, and yet I find that I hardly ever see them

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and starting new relationships when you.

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At home, we're on the farm.

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A lot of the time is really, I find really challenging.

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And I mean, I love being a podcaster because we get to meet cool people, but

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most of them don't live anywhere near me.

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So it's not like I can just like make new friends.

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So yeah, that's what I'm thinking about this week is how hard it

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is to make friends as a grown up.

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Cause my kids have all these play dates and I don't have very many

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play dates, which is kind of sad.

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Yeah.

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I feel like it's somewhat easier to build.

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Good relationships with folks who are further away, sometimes more so

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than it is with folks who are local, because there is no expectation that

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you're gonna find a way to hang out.

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So I feel like it's easier to communicate because you're just in my phone.

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Like I don't have to, that's a good point.

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Make plans and get a babysitter and drive somewhere and

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yeah.

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And then you don't feel guilty if you haven't seen them in six months cuz you,

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you're not gonna see them in six months.

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Yeah.

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It's it's not.

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And if you miss 'em, you can just start a podcast and then

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you can see 'em like every day.

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Yeah, I probably see you more than I see my husband, Arlene . Yeah.

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And awesome.

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Do for sure.

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Yeah.

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Yep.

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I agree with finding it hard to find friendships.

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And I find keeping them like, as your, as your friends or as your kids grow up, your

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friends change with like school friends and church friends and this and that.

Speaker:

And I find like your friends are just constantly changing.

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There's always some, some that stay put, but.

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Finding them and keeping them is definitely difficult.

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Because people change too.

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People change.

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Yeah.

Speaker:

And then if you have kids at different ages, you know, if, if it's a situation

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where you're hanging out together and the kids don't get along or they're

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at completely different, different stages, then they don't wanna hang out.

Speaker:

Then it gets harder too.

Speaker:

Right.

Speaker:

Where it's like, we're going to Soandso house.

Speaker:

And they're like do we have to, or, you know, like, or you're breaking up

Speaker:

fights all the time when they're, you know, like when they're at that little

Speaker:

stage where, where it's hard for little people to get along with each other.

Speaker:

Yeah.

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And it, it makes it harder for those adult relationships to, to stick to

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definitely.

Speaker:

So I'm gonna say thank you to Jess for joining us on the podcast today.

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If people want to connect, check out your Tuesday content or learn

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more about you and your farm work, and they find you online

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on Instagram, it's Martin underscore Jess underscore, and also Twitter is the same.

Speaker:

Those are the two places to find.

Speaker:

Basically non-existent on Twitter, but Instagram's my main thing.

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We're kind of the same.

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We have a Twitter, we don't

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really use it.

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I stick my toes into the Twitter pool occasionally.

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And then I look around, I'm like, nah, I'm out.

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Like,

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, that's pretty much how I am.

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I like the odd time I'll post something, but definitely not very existent there.

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Thank you for joining us today on Barnard language.

Speaker:

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Speaker:

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Speaker:

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Speaker:

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