Hello there dear friend,

What is the difference between external and internal triggers ?

All too often we blame the external world for our triggers and we feel righteous about it because we can physically point the finger at the person or the something that has triggered us.

We know that triggers are somewhat inevitable. How can we become more conscious of our triggers and be/feel less agitated and more grounded and content in our life?

Summary

• Intro and welcome. 0:02
• Welcome to the borealis experience.
• Today's topic, triggers, and why podcasting is therapeutic.
• Internal triggers vs external triggers. 2:14
• The difference between internal and external triggers.
• An example of an external trigger.
• What is triggered by the jokes? 3:22
• The one person who feels triggered at a family dinner.
• How one person feels triggered.
• Know yourself and your triggers. 5:25
• Why it's important to know yourself and your triggers.
• How triggers are never going to stop.
• You’re never going to change people around you. 7:45
• You are never going to change the people around you.
• You have to heal yourself.
• How can you change your mindset? 9:31
• What happened inside of you and what happened outside of you.
• Aurora eggert coaching

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Aurora

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Let’s dive in and find out more about this juicy topic that will most likely affect you in one way or another. 

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Aurora

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Unknown: 00:00:02

Hello, hello, and welcome to the Borealis

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experience. I'm your host Aurora, and I'm very happy to be

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spending some time with you today. I hope you feel good, I

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hope that you feel safe and motivated and encouraged, loved.

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And if you do not feel all these good feelings, I hope that this

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episode is gonna make you feel understood is gonna support you

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through whatever you're going through right now and just make

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you feel less alone at the same time. First of all, I want to

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thank the people who have donated to the podcast who have

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bought me a coffee, so to say, I'm so endlessly grateful for

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you. And yeah, as you know, this podcast is supposed to stay

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advertisement free, without interruptions. And the only way

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I can do this is with your support. So by just donating a

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couple bucks a month. That's huge support already. So thank

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you so much. For the people out there who have supported the

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podcast this month. This is incredible. And so very grateful

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for you. Today, I want to talk about triggers, I learned

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something really important yesterday, and I have to share

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with you right away, I just can't help but sharing with you

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here on my podcast. And this is another reason why I love

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podcasting so much because I can talk about whatever I want to.

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And yeah, it's just very liberating and therapeutic. And

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at the same time, if I can just help one person out there in

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this beautiful world, it makes me feel Yeah, very good, as if I

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can contribute something beautiful to this world. So we

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talk about triggers. And there is internal triggers. And there

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is external triggers. And the way that you can see and notice

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that your trigger is coming from within would be that the same

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trigger wouldn't trigger another person. I'm going to give you

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examples here in a moment. Don't you worry if it sounds too

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complicated, but when it comes to external trigger, it could be

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a forest fire, it could be an earthquake, all the people who

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are being affected by the earthquakes that to say, are

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triggered with an outside trigger. So they all pretty much

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behave the same yet some you know, freak out some run away,

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some are paralyzed and anxious. But they all react to one

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external trigger. Now let's zoom into this beautiful world and

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see a family at a family dinner. And there's one person who keeps

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making jokes, who keeps you know, distributing rip shots, to

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the people around them. And everybody's laughing and having

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fun except one person, one person feels triggered. Now what

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distinguishes that one person when you compare him or her to

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the other people who are not feeling traded, what is

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different in that person? And what I've learned yesterday is

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that throughout your life, from when you're being born, until

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now, you accumulate thoughts and belief systems about yourself

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and the world and the people around you. You maybe are part

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of a religion. Maybe you have, you know, a very specific

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mindset about the world. Maybe you went through experiences

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that jaded you in one way or another and in a nutshell, we

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call that you have filters and these filters you are looking

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through when you look into the outside world So it can be that

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the person who is feeling triggered at the family dinner,

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went through pain, suffering experiences that were not healed

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yet. And the other person who's making jokes and distributing

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rep shots, they're just doing their thing. They're just doing

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their thing that they always do. And they are not aware that this

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person is being triggered. And maybe they are aware and do it

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on purpose. But maybe they don't understand why the person would

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feel triggered by what you know, by the jokes that are being

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said, because everybody else is laughing. So it is very

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difficult for the people around you to understand why you are

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being triggered by certain things. And this is why it's so

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incredibly important to know yourself and to know your

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triggers. So that when the anger is being ignited, or whatever

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reaction you have, when you're feeling triggered, some people

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are angry, some people, like explode, others shut down or run

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away or become avoidant, or Stonewall. Whatever it is, that

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comes up for you, you need to know why. What is it that needs

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your attention. And the beauty in this is that you don't need

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the other person, like, trust me, the people outside of your

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bubble. In this world, they they're gonna keep triggering

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you, this is never gonna stop, you can start building a casa

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around your heart and around yourself and try to protect

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yourself. But then you get terribly lonely, but the

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triggers are never gonna be stopping. And the to be wounded

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again, because of that wound not being healed. But what you can

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do is to, once again, understand why you are feeling triggered.

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And the funny thing about Y is that you still, when you explore

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the Y are going to point the finger outside, because that

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person steps around my boundaries, because that person

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is intentionally hurting me. Because that person is just

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super insulin insensitive and an asshole. Well, guess what? Maybe

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that's right. But you're never going to change the people

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around you. It is you who has not healed yet. It is you who is

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allowing other people to step over your boundaries, and to

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hurt you. Because if you were able to set boundaries, what

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they can say or do would not even touch you. Right. But for

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some reason, you allow that common that reaction or that

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behavior to trigger you. And is it is on you to heal, so that

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you feel more at peace with yourself and the people around

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you. And so that you can express yourself with how you feel

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without blaming the other person. Because that's what we

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do. When we start expressing ourselves about our triggers. We

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make those triggers valid, when we turn them into our identity.

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I always feel triggered when this and that happens. This is

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me, I'm not going to change. I'm always going to be that way.

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Awesome if that's you. But if you want to change how you feel.

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If you want to feel more at peace and better connection with

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other people, you have to start digging deeper. You have to ask

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questions and wonder when was the first time or the last time

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that you felt triggered about that very same topic? And what

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happened inside of you what would have happened outside of

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you? What happened all around you? And how can you make sure

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that back then is not now back then you might have been a child

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and you didn't have the tools to defend for yourself or to talk

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back or to make amends to make the situation easier.

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But now you're a different person. In fact, you're dead

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From person every second of your life, and you can change your

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mindset within weeks and become a totally different person for

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the better. Not that you need to. But if you are at a point

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where you want to heal certain things in your life, you got to

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have the courage to dig deeper, and to be responsible for how

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you feel. Your triggers are within you, your root wounds are

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within you, and you are the only person who can heal it. I think

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I'm gonna leave you with that. It was a huge lesson for me to

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learn for certain and I'm still learning it. Right? I'm not

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hovering above you, or on some pedestal knowing at all. I'm

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right in there with you. And I'm learning what I just expressed

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or shared with you right now in this moment. All right. I'm

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gonna leave you with so much love. take really good care and

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if you have any episode requests or any questions, never hold

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back. You can message me over my website, Aurora Eggert

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coaching.com We're on Facebook. And yeah, I'm glad to connect.