On today’s episode of BEP Talks, I sat down with Susanne Bellisario—author, speaker, and leadership coach—to unpack how professionals and leaders can navigate stress without sacrificing their well-being. We discussed why chronic stress is on the rise, its real impact on our health and productivity, and how being “always on” often becomes a toxic badge of honor. Susanne shared practical strategies from her new book to help us recognize the signs of stress, regulate our responses, and build healthier, more sustainable careers. If you care about thriving—not just surviving—don’t miss this conversation!

Susanne’s holistic framework for stress management is a valuable resource for professionals and leaders aiming to balance ambition with well-being.

Check out The Professional’s Guide to Stress Management on Amazon or connect with Susanne through https://susannebellesario.com/

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Well, hey there and welcome to this edition of BEP Talks.

My name is Beth Johnston, the host coming to you from the

BEP Talks studio at the Global Society of Empowered

Women. And as you have heard me say before, I

am just so blessed to meet such incredibly generous

people who join us from different industries and

professions and different ages and stages of life

and career. The common denominator is how they come

together to share their beliefs, experiences and

passions. Thus a BEP Talk and

we never have an exception. We're not starting today.

Today my guest is Susanne Bellisario who is an author,

speaker, leadership and well being coach,

as well as a senior finance professional

who is very passionate about helping professionals and

organizations navigate pressure

without sacrificing well being. That

is a topic that I think must be, people's ears must be ringing now,

balancing pressure

without sacrificing well being. So I'm not going to guess what it

is. I'm just going to bring to the BEP Talk stage today's

guest speaker, Susanne Bellisario.

Hello Beth, how are you? I am so well and

more than well and quite delighted to meet you

here. We come together here originally on BEP Talks and

meet each other and just have a very friendly kind of chat. So

I thank you so much. Joining me from Perth,

Australia. Thank you very much Beth for having me on.

My absolute pleasure. So like so many people that I've been

blessed to meet and interview here on BEV Talks, you wear many different

hats. I said author, speaker, leadership and well being

coach.

What is, what is it that you are most

passionate about these days?

I'm passionate about people,

particularly professionals, having worked amongst,

you know, within the higher

level management profession in, in

corporate and health and government environment

and seeing those professionals and, and

experiencing myself the burden of

the responsibilities that we carry and witnessing

how that is emulated in

the way they manage themselves or don't manage

themselves themselves that well and the price that

we pay internally as well as the price

that is paid externally with the people that they

potentially that they manage and, and the ripple

effect that it has on people. So basically I'm passionate about

health and wellness, but also the ripple effect that it has around the

people not only just, yeah, the, the risk that they put themselves

under if it's not managed well. So, so you know, from

the psychological, the physical, the mental

health and wellbeing element is really so important

and these days we all are very aware that,

you know, pressures in society globally are just

compounding with

so many different elements of what is impacting our

lives in society. And I think many

of us are finding it harder and harder to sustain that

feeling of balance and health and wellness while

navigating, you know, our jobs.

And I think particularly as leaders, they have

another layer of burden that they

carry when they're wearing many different

hats. Just not. I'm not the only one who wears many different hats.

And then, you know, if you're not aware

of how you're regulating yourself or how things are impacting you,

it can quickly spiral into chronic

stress, which is not good for yourself or for

anyone around you. No, no. So I know, and without

asking you to state anything that you don't

wish to state, but I know that you know firsthand

the toll that chronic stress

can take on. On one's health.

Absolutely. And I'm one of the first people to put up my hand

and say chronic stress has definitely impacted me over the

years. And I guess. Yes. So you've brought me to the

point of clearly, I think articulating the fact that that was one

of the big reasons why I had written this book was because of my own

lived experience as well. Having moved countries,

having been a single parent, having had the responsibility

of looking after my family, as well as being a carer, and

then also carrying a leadership position and particularly as a woman,

you know, we're expected to magically

carry it all. Right. And to be things to all people. Yes.

Among women in leadership, I say we're asked to wear so many hats

and we don't necessarily look good in all of them. You

know, some of them, we just. They just don't work. You know, you mentioned

the book, which I hadn't mentioned. Let's talk about that. The

Professional's Guide to Stress Management.

What was the genesis of your writing that book?

The awareness that stress can be better managed. And

wanting to share my own

view of how we can have a more

sustainable, compassionate conversation

that is based on realism, evidence

and basically

a compassionate way of looking at. At

the management of stress without it being. Without looking at

simple surface level issues, simple quick fixes,

and basically making it prescriptive.

The intention of this book was to bring a holistic

framework to the management of stress

and also to the understanding of stress to make it more sustainable

for people.

First of all, we need to understand. Well, in my view, my message

is that it's helpful

if we can understand how we individually react

to triggers that we individually find stressful.

So there's the internal response and the internal behavior to

stress and our reaction to that. But then there's

A second layer, which is the pressures that we experience

from the external environment, whether it's our external

immediate environment or whether it's our work environment. So

some of those things we cannot control, but

we can learn to manage to control our response to those.

So one of them is our internal framework that we have in terms

of how we respond to triggers and what I

might find stressful, you or somebody else may

not find as stressful as I do. So there's that element and then

there's the external locus of control that we think where we.

We cannot control what is pressuring us. It's

learning to manage those two kinds of different scenarios.

And what I've done is put it into a framework where

it's something that you can hopefully

continue to remember and to use as

a holistic structure to. To

intentionally manage your stress better than

just forgive me, I can't think of another word, but

mindlessly going through life and just being reactive to

whatever is happening to you. So what I'm hearing, and

certainly would say, we've all experienced and certainly used

and perhaps overused the word, oh, I'm so stressed

that there are degrees of it and

where people can just say, oh, I'm so stressed. Why? Well,

from very minor reasons, all things, you know, being fair and equal

versus truly, truly difficult

moments that eventually,

sadly, we all will have those. So

what? So stress is. It's. It's a very

subjective feeling or state of mind.

Yes, so true, Beth. And look, I was. I was also very

guilty years ago, years and years ago now, like in my. In my 30s,

especially 30s, early 40s of that was my mantra. I'm so

stressed. You know, and as

Elizabeth Apple says, stress doesn't go away,

but we need to remember that stress is the word, is the

thought in our head. And so, yes, we will have things,

as you say, those more serious things that are

absolutely stressors, but it's also a matter of just taking a

step back and increasing our mindfulness and our intention

about how we manage things that, you

know, our responses and then. And

having a reason behind that. I mean. Right, right. Probably when,

you know, when we put a little bit of an extra layer of wisdom around.

Well, hang on a minute. Why? Why?

What is serving me about saying I'm so stressed all the time?

Let's remove the drama. I don't wanna diminish

what stress is, but if we can learn to

recognize what is actually not really a

stressor, but we are dramatizing it, then we've given ourselves

a little bit of A gift By. With the self

regulation, we are actually regulating what is going

on in our brains, our prefrontal cortex, our hippocampus,

our cortisol, our adrenaline. And it's, It's. It's

preserving what. What is going on

internally and not, you know, adding another

layer of physiological

stress or. Which is a physical. Physiological. Exactly.

Unnecessarily, you know. Yeah. Being as calmer and more in control.

Right. Which is good for yourself and everybody. Well,

yes. And to pass it on or, you know, is kind of a selfish thing.

You know, for the second time today, I'm saying that life.

These are not my original words, but it's 10% of what

happens and 90% of how you react

or respond to it. So what some people would

feel is stressful, some people would not be worried at

all. I have said many times when people have said

to me, and they don't necessarily use the word stress,

but it's kind of stating something, a synonym of that state

of mind or thinking. And what I have often said is,

and I say it not in a snide way, but I would say, you know

what? I hope that that's the worst thing that happens to you today.

My prayer for you is that that's the worst thing. And I've had some

people who kind of go, oh, yeah,

thank you. That's not really so bad. Like there was traffic

or there was no milk in the

grocery store and oh, I'm so stressed. I'm so stressed. Tell

us, by your definition, is there a more clinical,

if that's the right word, definition of stress

so that we would recognize those symptoms?

That's a very good question.

Well, at the baseline, stress is really a

response to fight or flight. So it's a

physiological response. So

it. There are no more tigers in our. In our

building woods, if you will. And so really,

it is a matter of how our mind

perceives the moment. I. And

I. I cannot give you one clinical definition.

I mean, it really is. It is a physiological response. But

that physiological response occurs in

relation to the thought or the feeling that is happening.

So if you have a feeling

of anxiety or a feeling of fear or a feeling of

urgency, and that translates into

something that is more escalated in your response,

it will trigger a response in your hippocampus,

well, your prefrontal cortex. First you'll interpret that, and then it'll go to

hippocampus. It will deal with the decision making, and

then the hormones will flood almost immediately, the cortisol and the

adrenaline. There will be Chemical responses to that feeling. There will be chemical

responses, There will be chemical responses. So something is telling me that we're

overusing and you use the word drama and I like that,

that people are overusing the word stress.

That did it become a way

of. The more stressed we were,

the more important we are to other people, the

harder we're working. It become a barometer

in people's minds to use I'm so

stressed as, as what? As a

measure of self importance. Beth what I think it is is

that particularly in

the corporate environment and people who are ambitious

and they're wanting, you know, quite

justifiably to climb the ladder as they go along and develop

their careers. I think the

pressure, the always being on has

become something that is normalized by the

employee as well as management in this

fast paced world. So in

a way we are using the response. I'm so

stressed, many

of us, and I've done it myself, I've been guilty, have almost worn it as

a badge of honor. You know where

that is. We're wearing it to say I am working so hard,

I'm to show that we're committed, that we're pushing through the

exhaustion, that we can do this, that we're always on. We don't

mind, we will do whatever it takes to, to get to the end

point. But the, the problem with that is, is that if

it's chronically maintained, it will lead to

burnout. It will. And then, and then, you

know, not only do we have the hormonal reactions,

you know, that can be on and off if, you know,

if it's, if it's, if it

is sort of on and off, but if we go into a chronic state of

always having elevated cortisol and adrenaline,

other things get impacted. I mean literally our focus is compromised,

our reactivity increases and our immunity decreases.

We can be subject to, to other chronic

disease, you know, including

cardiac disease and so on and mental health.

So therefore what we are doing is compromising our

ability to sustain ourselves as we want

to remain ambitious. And so, you

know, that is why the leaders,

we see it progressively, even in leadership,

in politics, people are resigning because they say they can't

handle the stress anymore within a few years, not

decades, like they used to be able to do because the world is so

much more fast paced. So bring it back to

leadership positions

at a different level. I think many of us, and I've witnessed this myself,

you know, you can see them suffering and you can see

their activity impacting the people that they're managing

so it reduces morale, it increases absenteeism.

Teams are less productive. They, you know,

as opposed to people thinking that if they, if they

push harder, strive further that their productivity

increases. That is not the case.

Yeah, you know, so this is what I'm hearing, Susannena, my

hearing, forgive me for speaking over you, that it can become contagious

because you can, especially if you're in a leadership position. You

can, whether you're trying to or not, impose it

onto other people. And you were talking about those triggers and

yet there are people who, nothing seems to bother them.

Like they just, I don't know, they just.

Nothing bothers them. So are there personality types?

Definitely, definitely. Personality types

can influence

reactivity to stress.

Your A type personality is really

going to be someone who is laid back as opposed to

people who are more introverted

and who, although introverts, they may respond to,

they may, they may internally develop and you know, process

things without actually showing it outwardly. So it really, it

depends on your attitude as well. But I mean A types are definitely

those who, you know, will overtly

demonstrate responses to stress if they aren't

intentional and more self aware. So

yeah, I really,

you, you've got to, I don't think there's one

personality type that handles it better than another. It really just depends.

How? Yeah, how, how. What your thoughts and reactions are overall

to you live with and what they're imposing on you and the

influences around you. If you're coming from a stressful

environment because everybody else can't deal with

stress. Let me ask you this, is it more,

Who's more widely stressed, men or women?

Ah, that's a very good question, Beth.

Research is showing that women are

feeling the impact of stress more than men. Men are

also stressed.

Global researchers, Gallup researchers

showed that men and women are both increasingly

feeling the impact of stress over, you know, comparing

years to years. However. So for

example, the latest Gallup poll says 40% of employees globally

have experienced a lot of stress in the last day.

However, 36% of women said their stress levels were higher

than a year ago. 25% of women said,

I'm just reading this at the moment here, 25% of women said they had taken

off work in the past year because, because of mental health challenges.

The Gallup poll has also reported recently that

women have reported higher engagement than

men. However, they've also

experienced higher levels of burnout than

men. Well, as I said, and you're a great example of

it, you know, author, speaker, coach

and, and still having to deal primarily, I'm Guessing it's still the same. I

know, I see it all the time. Still having to balance what's

going on in the proverbial nine to five and then the five to nine

and men just kind of seem to.

Women are more multi leveled, more multitasking. Which

doesn't mean it's a better thing or it makes us better at anything.

But would you agree that that adds to the

stress and post Covid when women

here, certainly in the United States, you know, doing the homeschooling and

having to walk away from corporate environment and

whether it was just working from home, and I don't mean to minimize just working

from home or starting their own businesses and

certainly being an entrepreneur is not an exit strategy from

stress. I think we would all agree on that.

People learned that. We will all agree on that. Yes. That's kind

of a self imposed stress, perhaps.

Yeah, yes. Which is more, you know, it can be used. There is

also eustress, which is, you know, a positive stress. So we do need

some stress in our environment to keep us motivated and so on. And again,

it's, it's how, it's, it's what is motivating us and how

we respond to it. But I agree, absolutely. It's so true

that the expectation on women is, is, I think

greater. We impose it on ourselves. We, you know, we think that

we need to be superwoman and we, we

layer the expectation on ourselves that we, we think we can do it

all and just push through and, and I think

it would be, it would behoove us all to put

more structure around the way we manage our time and energy

as women learn to let go of a few things

more. So this is part of the framework that I talk about in the book.

So the perfectionism, you know, that we,

we tend to put onto ourselves in terms of being, you know, like

even if an expectation that we can do all things and be all things

to all people, maybe let's just reduce our,

you know, our standards just a little bit sometimes our expectations

of what pockets that we can address and manage

that more strategically and be more intentional. And

I have found that the more that I have done that and the more that

I stay in that lane of intention

and awareness, sometimes it's hard

because you're so used to being, you know,

on the go and always on. But the more

you embrace that perspective,

the, the bigger gift you give to yourself and to your family

and to your teams that you manage. I agree with you. We have to learn

to say no when it's Strategically,

better for us to say no. I always say, you

can't give away that which you do not have. And time

is so fleeting and so precious.

And if you keep saying yes to people for the sake of

saying yes, to be a pleaser, to fawn over people,

let's say, and

to try to be all things to all people, I think

it diminishes how well you do everything because

something will be sacrificed. You're moving it

from one bucket to another. Or if

you're not doing that and it's causing you to be losing sleep at night,

that certainly doesn't diminish stress. No. And that's

a symptom of increased stress.

There's many, but that's one. So I was going to ask you that. What are

the signs that. That people should know? And I'm going to say,

particularly women, as I. My platform is mostly for

women, that you should say, oh,

something's changing. What are some recognizable

signs that stress is building? Number

one is poor sleep, followed by irritability,

tension, mental fog,

emotional fatigue, feeling as if you're always

on. That's, you know, like, again, that's something

that we normalize. But if we can just be more aware that

that is actually not normal. You know, we need to teach

ourselves how to rest more. If we're those sort of personalities that are very

driven and ambitious. Yes. And then, you know,

being more reactive, Mental fog,

being less patient

and just having. Finding it harder to concentrate,

feeling more fatigue. So

there are many, many different signs. And again,

those are the sorts of things. I mean, those are impacting health.

Yes, absolutely impacting health. And

I can't emphasize enough because I've been guilty of it myself. We

think that these things are normal when they're actually

not. And we have to get used to the idea that

let's just pull back a bit. We don't need to feel like that because I

think there's the potential for it to be addictive because we

think we're achieving if we're feeling like that. You

refer to it as a medal of Honor. And yeah, I get. Years

ago. Do you remember that people used to. Oh, how many years ago?

Many people used to, how shall I

say, revel in how little sleep they got.

Oh, I, you know, I don't sleep. I only got to sleep for three hours.

I only got to sleep for four hours. And they meant that to

imply or to. For you to infer

that how important they are, how big a job

they have, that so many people depend on them. And

I Remember hearing that and this goes back to, but that

the less sleep you got, you held yourself at a

higher level. And all I kept thinking is, do you

remember that? All I kept thinking is, you must be doing right, you must be

doing something wrong, you must be doing something wrong.

Now we all had those nights I did as a student of, you know, being

up, you know, the night before a test or before a paper were

due or something such as that. Self imposed. But then

you would make up for it somehow. But

stress is real. It can be debilitating.

How can we, or can we, if we

see signs or symptoms in other people,

is there a way for us to lovingly

reach out to them and say that we

notice it and make suggestions? Is that a proper thing to do.

With a coaching hat on?

Personally, I, well, it depends. Like if it's, if it's your,

you know, if it's someone close to you and

you feel that level of comfort with them, then

to, to approach, I, I,

yes, we can approach and say this is what we're

noticing and perhaps ask them how they're feeling and what is going

on. As a manager,

yes, it would. If it's, you know, if

you're, particularly if you're noticing that it's impacting their performance

and their productivity and those things that marry together, then you,

you sit with your staff and you have a conversation about,

you know, just asking them what is going on and you reflect

back to them lovingly that you're noticing these

things. The thing is, you can reflect back what is going on,

but it doesn't necessarily mean that you're, that we are going to be able to

resolve the management of stress.

Right. You certainly don't want to add, it's a matter of raising their awareness. Right,

right. And then if we have, you know, if, if there's the

high level executive or the high level professional such as a, you know,

you know, a doctor. I've worked with many doctors over

time or CEOs and they just always on, I mean, you know,

it's, it's unlikely that we have permission to go to them and say, look, I

noticed this is what you're doing. So with that sort of person,

unfortunately, unfortunately, if

they're not searching for

resources, you know, if they're not recognizing themselves, it's very hard to

just go up and say something. So really, I think

ultimately the best remedy

for managing stress, I

would like to help reframe the way that we define

stress and the way that we respond to it and to deepen the

Understanding of what, of

how stress impacts us, what kind of different stresses

there are and what we have more control of within

ourselves and our own internal regulation, as well as

our perception of how we can respond to external pressures.

And external pressures are very, very real. So then there's another

layer, you know, of. So first of all, externally there can be

just triggers, right? But then there's also things that we actually have to respond

to that can be very, you know, pressured and will stress us.

But then there's this third element of where we can

better learn how to respond to those things in,

you know, a more sustainable way that isn't going to break us and

lead us to burnout. So there's all these different layers of,

of our perception and reaction to stress. And if we

can unpack that and raise the awareness

of these things, then I think

it is one little step closer in my humble way and my

humble attempt to, you know, improve

our own health, improve, you know, our well

being, improve the ability to sustain our,

what we are doing in the work environment so that we can remain

ambitious and then we can go towards, you know, achieving those career

goals without burnout. Look at Jacinda o', Hearn, who was, you

know, the Prime Minister of New Zealand. There was another

premier in Australia, in Victoria, who, who also

prematurely resigned because of

burnout. Both of them. Like it's. That's, you know, in

years gone by, that's. I mean, I know I'm talking about leaders, but perhaps

some of the listeners might be able to, you

know, they might know those people identified with them in terms

of not being premiers and, and prime

ministers, but just, just in terms of what is going on for them and saying,

oh, yes, you know, perhaps I am going at 100 miles an

hour and maybe this isn't serving

me long term. If I want to sustain what I'm doing long term in

my career and in the way for my health and the way I'm looking

after my family or what I want to do outside of my

career ambitions, then perhaps I need to manage

this different. Yeah, you know, I'm working with a client

now who is a nurse, an elder

nurse, retired, but is working with other nurses

55 years and over who deal with

what a nurse does. I mean, they are just, you know, doing

God's work here on earth, but

physiologically and

emotionally, after decades

of being on their feet and responding to

critical moments in warp speed,

that it does begin to take a toll.

And they so want to stay in their job, but

they become aware of Is anybody else

noticing this? And that builds stress

which then automatically cycles and takes away from performance.

So it kind of becomes like a vicious cycle

and so important. So I always think of nurses and the

role that they play, particularly here in the United States,

the caretakers that they are and the price that they

pay physically, mentally, emotionally for the

job that they do. I can't

appreciate nurses enough. You were talking, Susanne, about

the framework and everything. And is all of that in the

Professional's Guide to Stress Management book?

It is, Beth. Yes. Or we tell people

where they can get that book. Where can they get that book?

There is a link to the book on my website and they can also

go direct to Amazon and find it there as well. Well, go to

Amazon, the easiest thing. And would you tell us your website please?

Yes. It's Susanne. Thank you. It's Susanne Bellisario.com

just her name. S U S A N N E

B E L L E S A R I O.

Very phonetic. Susanne bellisario.com

I can't thank you enough

for the work that you've done and the wealth

of information that you obviously possess and have

shared with us in a relatively very short period of

time. Now I know that you have done some coaching. You don't do that on

a full time basis. I am aware of that. But if

somebody were interested in reaching out to

you from the coaching perspective, Susanne,

is there a way for them to do that? Yes, there is.

Thank you for asking. Beth. They can do that through my website.

They can go in and directly just reach out.

There's a little button there that you, that you push. There's

also resource on my website just for free that they can, they, they

can certainly download if they wish. And then Also

Susanne, Susanne bellisario.com Just email me

directly either way. Would love to hear from anyone who

would be interested in, in improving their

journey on stress management. Sure. And the least

stressful thing that everybody can do right now

is Amazon and order the

professionals with an S guide to Stress

Management and all of that framework that Susanne was

talking about of I don't want to say symptoms but

signs to notice, how to manage it,

what comes from the outside, what's on the inside of you, how you

react to other people and their stresses. All of that framework

is yours stress free. Just go to Amazon.com

and buy that book. Susanne, I thank you

so much for taking the time and for sharing your

expertise on a very, very important

topic that touches so many people.

And all you have to do is turn on the news. I'm sure it's the

same where you are. And if you're having a very calm day,

within a few minutes something will hit you and your stress levels can go up.

So be aware of that and how you react to it and

be better prepared to deal with it. Yeah.

Yeah. Susanne, I thank you once again. You are such

a wonderful guest. And I know I could, as I said, speak with you on

and on about this, but I'm going to go get that book, the Professional's

Guide to Stress Management. And to all of

our listeners, our viewers listening to this

BEP Talks, you have just received a wealth of information that I

invite you to follow up on. And we

invite you to come to BEP Talks and share your beliefs,

experiences and passions as you've heard Susanne

Bellisario here on this episode of BEP Talks.

Just go to Bevtalks.com find out how you

can become a guest on Bev Talks. You have a story,

it's worth hearing, it's worth sharing, and this is the

wonderful platform to make you easy to remember, impossible

to forget. So as we always say in signing off, may

the best always be yet to come. That is my wish for

everybody until we talk again. Bye for

now.