Have you ever felt like you know what you should be doing but find that you still aren't getting the results that you want? If so, this is a can't miss episode.
I'm often asked what I would do differently if I had to lose 80lbs all over again.
The truth is that I wouldn't change much because it worked for me. However, I've improved the process after more than a decade of experience working with other men and tens of thousands of dollars spent on education.
The result is the Unshakable Man Blueprint and in this episode I break down its four pillars of Connected Health, Vision, Discipline, and Mastery.
Hey guys, welcome to the Unshakable Habits podcast.
Speaker:I am your host, national Board certified Health Coach, Stephen Box.
Speaker:And today, guys, we're gonna be talking about a subject that I
Speaker:get asked about a lot, which is, how do I actually get in shape?
Speaker:And here's the rub to that question.
Speaker:I know that you already know how to get into shape.
Speaker:You know that you need to consume fewer calories than you burn.
Speaker:You know that protein is important.
Speaker:You know you need to eat vegetables.
Speaker:You know that you should limit sweets and highly processed foods.
Speaker:You know that adding muscle increases your metabolism.
Speaker:You probably even are aware of the fact that sleep and stress
Speaker:management are important factors
Speaker:in improving your body composition.
Speaker:So the other thing that you know is that this is not a knowledge
Speaker:problem, it's an action problem.
Speaker:Now, a lot of people, what they're gonna do is at this point, they're
Speaker:gonna tell you it's mindset, and I'm gonna disagree with them.
Speaker:Now, please understand mindset is super important.
Speaker:I talk a lot about mindset in my coaching programs, it is a super important thing
Speaker:to have, but mindset by itself is not necessarily gonna solve all your problems
Speaker:because the reality is a lot of what we deem as excuses are actually realistic
Speaker:reasons for why we don't take action.
Speaker:So let me give you some examples.
Speaker:Number one, it's hard to find the motivation to work out before or after
Speaker:a busy day, especially when other people are always counting on you.
Speaker:It's also a challenge to find the energy or the motivation to come home
Speaker:and fix a healthy meal for yourself.
Speaker:When it's so much more convenient to just grab something on the way home or to grab
Speaker:something that's quick and easy out of the refrigerator or the cabinet, and just
Speaker:crash down the couch because sometimes that is the only time that you might
Speaker:have to have a moment or two to yourself.
Speaker:And then finally, it can be hard to put your health first.
Speaker:When it feels like so many other areas in your life aren't where they
Speaker:need to be, and those areas feel more pressing to you in the moment.
Speaker:So I get it guys.
Speaker:It can be hard to make these changes.
Speaker:It can be hard to stick with it even when we technically know what to do.
Speaker:And that is why I created the Unshakable Man Blueprint.
Speaker:And I'm gonna go over that with you in today's episode.
Speaker:So I'll see you guys back right after this intro.
Speaker:Are you ready to break free from your old habits and create a better life
Speaker:for yourself and those around you?
Speaker:If so, welcome to Unshakable Habits, the podcast dedicated to helping
Speaker:men be better husbands, fathers, and leaders by prioritizing their
Speaker:physical and mental wellbeing.
Speaker:Each week we'll look at health from a 360 degree perspective with
Speaker:inspiring stories and practical strategies for building Unshakable
Speaker:habits that'll transform your life.
Speaker:Join Stephen Box, a board certified health and wellness coach, and
Speaker:let's change the world together.
Speaker:One habit at a time.
Speaker:All right, so if you are joining me on just the audio version of the
Speaker:podcast today, I'm going to talk you through what's on my screen right now.
Speaker:If you're joining me on YouTube, then you're able to see the graphic.
Speaker:I'll also include this on the website show note page as well,
Speaker:just so you can reference it.
Speaker:But I'll do my best to explain it.
Speaker:For those of you who are just listening to the audio only.
Speaker:So what we have here is what I call the Unshakable Man Blueprint, and
Speaker:this is really what came outta my own personal weight loss journey.
Speaker:So for those of you maybe aren't familiar with my journey, about 12, 13 years
Speaker:ago now, I actually lost 80 pounds and I've kept it all of that entire time.
Speaker:Honestly, at the time that I did it, it probably took me a little longer than
Speaker:it should have took me about 10 months.
Speaker:But the reason I say it probably took me longer than it should have
Speaker:was I was just guessing, right?
Speaker:There was a lot of things that I just did, but I got lucky
Speaker:and figuring some stuff out.
Speaker:And what I've done over the years is I've gone back and
Speaker:I've looked at what did I do?
Speaker:What did I have going on?
Speaker:Where were my sticking points?
Speaker:What were the troubles that I had?
Speaker:I've taken that along with information that I've gained through all of my
Speaker:certifications and all my studies, and I've put together the blueprint of
Speaker:exactly what I would do today if I had to go through my journey all over again.
Speaker:So this is basically what worked for me, plus what I've learned
Speaker:that would make it even better.
Speaker:So you guys are gonna get to basically experience the shortcut of that.
Speaker:And so this blueprint.
Speaker:It's made up of four different parts.
Speaker:So the first thing is we have at the center of the diagram
Speaker:this idea of connected health.
Speaker:Now, if you've never heard me talk about connected health before, this
Speaker:is also known as in deep health.
Speaker:And what it does is it acknowledges the fact that our health goes beyond just diet
Speaker:and exercise and the number on the scale.
Speaker:So the first part is physical health, but physical health is a
Speaker:very small piece of the puzzle here.
Speaker:But when we think about physical health, what we're talking about is nutrition,
Speaker:your exercise, the way you move, we're talking about your blood work, right?
Speaker:So we're talking about all those things that are physical, but we're
Speaker:also talking about things like sleep.
Speaker:So those are all part of physical health.
Speaker:Then we go to mental health.
Speaker:Now when I say mental health, what I'm referring to in this specific instance
Speaker:is your thoughts, your beliefs, right?
Speaker:So this is where the mindset stuff that I mentioned earlier, this is where it
Speaker:comes in, but as you can see, it's really just kind of in this little section here.
Speaker:So we are.
Speaker:Still only talking about a small piece of the puzzle.
Speaker:That's why when I say people talk about mindset, like it's
Speaker:the solution to everything.
Speaker:It's not part of the solution for sure, but it's not the whole solution.
Speaker:Then we have emotional health now.
Speaker:Emotions are really action blueprints.
Speaker:They tell us what to do and usually those actions are gonna be based
Speaker:off of our thoughts and our beliefs.
Speaker:This is why it's so important that we're careful about our thoughts and about
Speaker:the words that come out of our mouth.
Speaker:And this is why you hear so many people talking about mindset.
Speaker:Because if we have the wrong stuff coming out, if we have negativity coming
Speaker:out of our brains emotionally, we will react to that negativity and we will
Speaker:also take things that are around us, whether they're positive or negative.
Speaker:And we will transpose our thoughts and our beliefs to that, and we will take
Speaker:things that aren't even negative and we will make them negative and vice versa.
Speaker:If we have a positive mindset, then we can have our emotions react in a positive way.
Speaker:So those two are very tightly interconnected, but they
Speaker:are two separate pieces.
Speaker:Next up, we have relational health, right?
Speaker:So this is the way you interact with the people around you.
Speaker:Then there's environmental health, which is the way you interact with
Speaker:the places and things around you.
Speaker:And when you put those two together, that's called your support system.
Speaker:And your support system is gonna be a super important part of this.
Speaker:And then finally, we have existential health, or some people call this like
Speaker:your purpose or spiritual health even.
Speaker:And the idea here is this is about connecting to something bigger than you.
Speaker:It's giving you a sense of purpose.
Speaker:For what you wanna do.
Speaker:So if you've ever kind of had that feeling of, I know I'm meant for
Speaker:something more, but maybe you're not sure what it is, that's existential health.
Speaker:It's getting clear on what that bigger purpose is for you.
Speaker:What is that thing that you're really chasing after?
Speaker:And so we have to look at all these areas.
Speaker:Cause the thing is they have an impact on one another, right?
Speaker:Your mindset, your emotional health that's going to impact your physical health.
Speaker:But it's also going to impact your relationships, right?
Speaker:It might, you know, be influenced by your environment.
Speaker:It might even influence your environment.
Speaker:Sometimes when you start making positive change, it influences
Speaker:other people to change.
Speaker:If you guys remember my episode with Sean Robinson, we talked about that, where
Speaker:some of the changes he was making, how that had an impact on his environment.
Speaker:So when we start looking at all these things, we can start to
Speaker:understand how they're interconnected, how they affect one another.
Speaker:So super important to start there because a lot of times what I see
Speaker:guys trying to do is, okay, I'm gonna focus just on my fitness.
Speaker:I'm gonna ignore everything else, right?
Speaker:I'm gonna focus on my, my diet.
Speaker:I, I'm gonna ignore everything else.
Speaker:I, I need to focus on work, ignore everything else, or I need to focus on
Speaker:my marriage, ignore everything else.
Speaker:I need to focus on my kids, ignore everything else, right?
Speaker:And the thing is, guys, when we do that, we're going to hurt those other areas.
Speaker:So that's why I wanted to be really clear it.
Speaker:Spend a few minutes talking about this idea of connected health and help you to
Speaker:understand that you can't just neglect other areas because if you do, you're
Speaker:going to hurt those areas because even though you're improving one area, it's
Speaker:going to have impact on those other areas and it's gonna have a positive impact.
Speaker:But if you're completely neglecting them, The negativity's gonna outweigh
Speaker:the positivity, if that makes sense.
Speaker:So yes, there is a cumulative effect throughout when you focus on one area, but
Speaker:we can't just completely lock in on it.
Speaker:All right, so hopefully that's, that's clear for you guys.
Speaker:So let's jump into the other three circles here.
Speaker:So first off, we have.
Speaker:Vision to me, this is, this is where it starts because when we have a clear
Speaker:vision, right, a clear, strong vision of what we want our lives to look
Speaker:like, and I'm not just talking about some five year plan, some 10 year
Speaker:plan on talking about how much money you want to make or, you know, having
Speaker:six pack abs or anything like that.
Speaker:I'm talking about the person you wanna become.
Speaker:Right.
Speaker:So when you look out six months from now, a year from now, five years
Speaker:from now, whatever, what kind of things do you want to do physically
Speaker:that you can't do right now?
Speaker:What kind of father do you wanna be?
Speaker:What kind of husband do you want to be?
Speaker:What kind of man do you want to be?
Speaker:What kinda leader do you want to be at work, at home, in the community, right?
Speaker:What actions does that future you take?
Speaker:Because we can actually start taking some of those actions
Speaker:and we can implement them now.
Speaker:Right?
Speaker:So a lot of times what happens is we start thinking about who do we want to become?
Speaker:And we've made this determination of, oh, I need to lose 40 pounds
Speaker:before I can become that person.
Speaker:No, you don't.
Speaker:You can start becoming that person now without ever losing 40 pounds.
Speaker:Now you might feel more confident when you lose 40 pounds.
Speaker:You might feel better in your body.
Speaker:You might be able to move better.
Speaker:There might be something, you can't really do that well until
Speaker:you lose those 40 pounds, but you can start to become that person.
Speaker:So when we have a strong, clear vision for our lives and we can start taking
Speaker:some of those behaviors in those actions and start implementing them, now we can
Speaker:start seeing immediate improvements in our life and that that's awesome, right?
Speaker:But if all we ever did was have a vision.
Speaker:You might see some change, but you're not gonna see a lot because the next
Speaker:thing you have to have is discipline.
Speaker:Now, I find a lot of guys, when they talk about discipline,
Speaker:they think willpower, right?
Speaker:They think white knuckling it.
Speaker:It's pushing through.
Speaker:It's doing things that you don't really want to do because you need to do them.
Speaker:And you can certainly define discipline that way.
Speaker:I like to think of discipline as habits.
Speaker:Okay?
Speaker:And habits are all about consistency.
Speaker:So when we talk about discipline, we aren't actually talking about
Speaker:making things harder on ourselves.
Speaker:We're actually talking about how do we make things easier?
Speaker:How do we take things that otherwise might be hard, right?
Speaker:Like those things I mentioned earlier about, you know, getting food on the way
Speaker:home or plopping down on the couch, or not feeling like doing your workouts or.
Speaker:You know, putting your health first.
Speaker:We started looking at all those things, and what we find is that if
Speaker:we just try to do them without any kind of plan, we're going to struggle.
Speaker:It's gonna be difficult, right?
Speaker:But it's not impossible.
Speaker:But when we come up with a plan, when we create habits and we make
Speaker:things consistent, and we do that by making them easier, we actually
Speaker:make ourselves more disciplined.
Speaker:And then when we're more disciplined or more consistent, more
Speaker:consistent means better results.
Speaker:But here's the thing.
Speaker:If you just try to be disciplined on its own without any kind of vision,
Speaker:you're not gonna get very far because you don't have a roadmap, right?
Speaker:It's like trying to go on a trip and not knowing where you're going.
Speaker:It's not gonna work.
Speaker:So you need the vision.
Speaker:You need discipline.
Speaker:When you put those two together, you're gonna get amazing results.
Speaker:But, Those results can only go so far because the reality is you only have
Speaker:a certain amount of knowledge and a certain amount of skills right now.
Speaker:And simply getting consistent with those things isn't gonna
Speaker:make your skill level go up.
Speaker:It's not gonna necessarily increase your knowledge, but if we add the
Speaker:third circle mastery to the equation, This is where the sky's the limit.
Speaker:This is where we can actually start to reach our full potential as men, because
Speaker:mastery is all about skill building.
Speaker:It's no longer about a result, right?
Speaker:A lot of people, when they start with me, it's very outcome, goal oriented.
Speaker:I wanna lose 40 pounds.
Speaker:I wanna sleep better.
Speaker:You know, I actually want to be able to get in bed and go to
Speaker:sleep within five minutes instead of sitting up half a night.
Speaker:I want to get off my medications.
Speaker:I want to get back into my favorite pair of jeans, or I want to be able to wear my
Speaker:shirt without my love handle sticking out.
Speaker:I want to be more attractive to my spouse.
Speaker:I wanna improve my my love life, right?
Speaker:So all these little things are about outcomes and I think
Speaker:that's where a lot of guys start.
Speaker:And it's understandable where that's where we start because
Speaker:those are pain points for us.
Speaker:But at some point, those pain points started to go away and then it's,
Speaker:okay, now what do I connect to?
Speaker:And that's where, going back to that idea of existential health really comes
Speaker:into play because once you start getting through some of those more superficial
Speaker:ideas of, you know, oh, you know, I just wanna be more attractive to my
Speaker:spouse, or I wanna be a good role model for my kids, awesome things, right?
Speaker:I mean, nothing wrong with those at all.
Speaker:But once you kind of started getting down deeper than that, and you really
Speaker:started to understand what's important to you, what you value, You start
Speaker:to see there's possibilities for just outside of these things, right?
Speaker:It's really about the internal motivation, not the external motivations.
Speaker:It's about the internal motivation, and that's where mastery comes in, because now
Speaker:we can take everything to the next level.
Speaker:We can start to figure out exactly what it is we want.
Speaker:We're not doing it for other people anymore.
Speaker:We're doing it for ourselves.
Speaker:We're doing it because it feels right.
Speaker:It's in alignment with the person that we want to be.
Speaker:That vision that we have for our life, not other people's visions for us,
Speaker:but our own vision for our life, guys, that's really what this is about, right?
Speaker:I think so many of us guys, we are going to work and we're living
Speaker:out the vision of our boss, right?
Speaker:Or if we are the boss, then we are living out the vision of what society tells
Speaker:us we're supposed to be as an employer.
Speaker:In our marriages, a lot of times we are living the vision of our wives, or we're
Speaker:living out the vision of what society has told us we are supposed to be as husbands.
Speaker:And the same thing goes for being a father, right?
Speaker:So when we start looking at a lot of what we do, It's being
Speaker:dictated to us by other people.
Speaker:We may not even realize it because some of this stuff has
Speaker:been subconsciously taught to us.
Speaker:So we don't even think about it and we wonder why we're
Speaker:struggling with all of this stuff.
Speaker:Right?
Speaker:And the reason is it's not in alignment with who we want to be.
Speaker:And that's why I created this, this blueprint, cuz I every, again,
Speaker:everything starts with that vision.
Speaker:Who do you want to become?
Speaker:Not who do you think you should be, but who do you actually want to be?
Speaker:Who is that person, right?
Speaker:And then once we know who that person is, what steps do we need to start
Speaker:taking to build the habits and the discipline to become that person?
Speaker:And then once we are at the point where we've become that
Speaker:person, what's next for us?
Speaker:What's that mastery level?
Speaker:What skills do we need to continue to develop?
Speaker:What new knowledge do we need to obtain in order to continue to grow?
Speaker:And continue to become the person that we want to be.
Speaker:And of course, all this ties back into that idea of connected health
Speaker:because when we are starting to look at these things, we can look
Speaker:at each one individually, right?
Speaker:I can have a vision, discipline, and mastery for my physical health, for
Speaker:my mental health, for my emotional health, for my relationships.
Speaker:I can really get that sense of purpose of who I want to be tied
Speaker:into each one of those things.
Speaker:So guys, that is the Unshakable Man Blueprint, and this is
Speaker:what I help people with.
Speaker:So guys, if you found this helpful today, if you would do me.
Speaker:Small favor, head over to our YouTube channel and comment on this video
Speaker:and just let us know in the comments what are some of your big takeaways.
Speaker:because what that does is that tells YouTube that this is content that
Speaker:you want to see and that other people should probably get access to as well.
Speaker:And it helps to get the word out and get more exposure for the podcast.
Speaker:and guys, if you'd like some help implementing this blueprint.
Speaker:I've helped many men incorporate this through my coaching programs,
Speaker:and I'd be happy to see if you're someone I can also help.
Speaker:The simplest way to do that is go to unshakablehabits.com and either
Speaker:send me a message through the contact form or go ahead and schedule a
Speaker:no-cost Roadmap Clarity call, and we'll see what we can do for you.
Speaker:So as always guys, this is Stephen Box reminding you that while
Speaker:none of us are born Unshakable, We can all become Unshakable.
Speaker:Thank you for listening to the Unshakable Habits podcast with Coach Stephen Box.
Speaker:Be sure to hit the subscribe button and help us spread the word by
Speaker:sharing the podcast with other men.
Speaker:If you are ready to create Unshakable habits, you can learn more and connect