Artwork for podcast Art of Life
# 9 Understanding, Accepting and Loving Yourself – Heal Your Life - Art of Life Podcast
Episode 931st August 2023 • Art of Life • Kanika
00:00:00 00:20:50

Share Episode

Shownotes

Unlock the Secret Sauce of Self-Love: The Ultimate Guide to Being Your Own BFF!" 🎉 Get ready to level up your self-love game as we dive into the "shit meter," redefine 'selfishness,' and discover how the simple act of loving yourself can change your life! 🚀💖 

B͇u͇l͇l͇e͇t͇ p͇o͇i͇n͇t͇s͇ o͇f͇ k͇e͇y͇ t͇o͇p͇i͇c͇s͇ +͇ c͇h͇a͇p͇t͇e͇r͇ m͇a͇r͇k͇e͇r͇s͇ 

🌼 Intro: Why We've Been MIA 

[00:00:00] The host talks about their recent "life reset" and why they've been off the grid. You can't pour from an empty cup, am I right? 

🌸 Chapter 1: What's the Big Deal About Self-Love? 

[00:00:39] What does it mean to love yourself? It's more than bubble baths, people! 

Exploring the 3 pillars of self-love: Seeing yourself, hearing yourself, and valuing yourself (SVH, baby!) 

How checking in with your feelings can be a game-changer. 🎮 

🍀 Chapter 2: Why You Gotta Love Yourself? 

[00:02:54] How self-love impacts the way the world treats you. Like, for reals. 

Introducing the "Shit Meter" concept – the ultimate gauge for people-pleasing. 💩 

🌺 Chapter 3: Real-world Examples of Self-Love 

[00:08:13] Are you your own hype person or worst critic? Spoiler alert: Pep talks win. 

Birthday celebrations: Do you party like it's your birthday or act like it's just another Tuesday? 

🌻 Chapter 4: Is Loving Yourself Selfish? 

[00:12:02] Debunking the selfish myth. Spoiler: It's not. 

Why putting your oxygen mask first isn't just for airplane emergencies. 🛫 

🌹 Chapter 5: How Self-Love Can Transform Your Life 

[00:16:06] Why embracing the 'New You' might mean saying 'Thank U, Next' to some folks. 

💕 Closing Notes 

 

Leave with a renewed sense of how to love, honor, and cherish yourself. Cause you're a catch! 😉 

 

L͇i͇n͇k͇s͇ f͇r͇o͇m͇ t͇h͇i͇s͇ e͇p͇i͇s͇o͇d͇e͇:͇ 

✔✔✔️ Register today for a full-on Life Makeover – a super easy, gentle and fun way to heal every aspect of your life with Art Therapy Meditations 

https://artoflifecenter.com/art 

✔✔✔️ Subscribe to Art of Life podcast 

https://listen.artoflifecenter.com/listen/ 

✔✔✔️ Leave a review for Art of Life podcast 

Spotify: Click link and give a star rating https://open.spotify.com/show/3B6655QJPgHgdFc0RiZVMu 

Apple: Click link and scroll down to the Ratings & Reviews section near the bottom of the page, then give a 5star rating and write review https://podcastsconnect.apple.com/mypodcasts/show/artoflife/3c78b5c13de0446b8b8a8e8ccb1cd648/episodes 

Transcripts

Speaker:

Hi there.

Speaker:

So it has been some time for the art of life podcast.

Speaker:

I've just taken a little break and just settled back in trying

Speaker:

to really do what I preach for everybody else is go from the inside.

Speaker:

I've taken some steps and some thinking around just resetting

Speaker:

my own life to be able to connect with myself and then connect back

Speaker:

and give that to you even more.

Speaker:

Our topic today is called understanding, accepting and loving yourself.

Speaker:

So what does loving yourself mean?

Speaker:

I think that it's got to go beyond just having a luxurious bath or a long massage.

Speaker:

It's got to go beyond that.

Speaker:

My definition of loving yourself, of loving myself, is seeing myself,

Speaker:

hearing myself and valuing myself.

Speaker:

So, seeing would mean noticing my emotions.

Speaker:

How do I feel about something?

Speaker:

Hearing is letting those emotions come through, letting my own

Speaker:

inner voice come through.

Speaker:

And then just valuing myself, that this is how I'm feeling.

Speaker:

It's a little bit regardless to the other person or to the whole

Speaker:

situation, it's just giving.

Speaker:

space to myself.

Speaker:

That's sort of my duty to myself, right?

Speaker:

It's noticing how I feel, just checking in with my body to see how does a situation

Speaker:

or how does a person make me feel.

Speaker:

It probably would mean connecting with people and embracing

Speaker:

situations that are right for you.

Speaker:

Now, a lot of times we might find ourselves being at some party, for

Speaker:

example, or being in a situation where we are not really happy.

Speaker:

But just by the very act of checking in with myself, by hearing myself, by valuing

Speaker:

myself, I can then start making a decision whether I want to be a part of that party,

Speaker:

I want to be a part of that group or not.

Speaker:

So it will definitely lead to some shift.

Speaker:

And ideally where it's coming from is just you connecting with yourself.

Speaker:

The more you connect with yourself, the more you allow your inner joy and

Speaker:

your inner peace to take priority.

Speaker:

And slowly that shifts things around you.

Speaker:

Then the next question is, why loving yourself is important?

Speaker:

Like I said, for me the definition of loving myself is

Speaker:

seeing, valuing, hearing myself.

Speaker:

And by doing that, I basically am telling the whole world how to treat me.

Speaker:

I'm telling the world this is what I like, this is what I don't like.

Speaker:

You see, if I was to put myself in situations that I did not like

Speaker:

or I did not enjoy, and I just did not share that, voice it out,

Speaker:

then how is anybody else to know?

Speaker:

Sometimes it can be really small things as well.

Speaker:

Sometimes it can be big things as well.

Speaker:

And depending on where you are in your journey, nothing is right or wrong.

Speaker:

You know, you might let some things slip by.

Speaker:

Some things might become a little bit bigger for you that you need to speak.

Speaker:

And that's absolutely okay.

Speaker:

But it's just having those little situations where sometimes you

Speaker:

try to be nice, but it's not really working in your favor.

Speaker:

So examples, you might be nice because you don't want to upset someone else.

Speaker:

Their behavior is really upsetting you, their comment is really upsetting

Speaker:

you, but you just want to be nice.

Speaker:

So you suck it up and you be quiet.

Speaker:

And you can see that for yourself, how that plays out and we've all

Speaker:

been in a place as well where we've let those situations happen.

Speaker:

There might be a trend for you where you want to go and shift that as well.

Speaker:

What I've come to experience is I've got a really funny term for it.

Speaker:

I call it the shit meter, right?

Speaker:

The society programs us to be nice, to be good.

Speaker:

This is how you be good.

Speaker:

You listen to the other person.

Speaker:

Basically you obey whatever they are saying, whatever

Speaker:

they are wanting from you.

Speaker:

And you smile and you giggle and laugh and just basically be how they want you to be

Speaker:

even if it is not sitting right with you.

Speaker:

And my shit meter concept is, basically, that when we are trying to be nice,

Speaker:

it's almost like an exercise of how much shit am I allowing people to let in me,

Speaker:

literally, like that's the amount of shit I'm taking before I speak up, right?

Speaker:

So if the being nice part is above and beyond me, it goes beyond me.

Speaker:

I'm basically saying, "Hey, that's all right.

Speaker:

You can just say whatever comment you want.

Speaker:

You can put me in an uncomfortable situation and I will be nice.

Speaker:

So I will take all of that shit".

Speaker:

There was a time where I used to really pride myself with my shit meter as well.

Speaker:

You know, that person said so and so, so and so, and I was just so well

Speaker:

behaved I did not say a damn thing.

Speaker:

You know, my shit meter was like really, really high.

Speaker:

But it made me inside be really uncomfortable because

Speaker:

it wasn't working out, right?

Speaker:

You see within me is then all of that frustration and just like, look at me,

Speaker:

see me for me, see me, hear me, value me.

Speaker:

Because if somebody is undermining you then they are inherently crossing

Speaker:

at least one of those fragments.

Speaker:

They're either not seeing you, they're either not hearing you, they're either

Speaker:

not valuing you, or maybe all of these.

Speaker:

So, then it's your choice, and you have to see what becomes a priority for you.

Speaker:

Is it being nice?

Speaker:

Is it being kinder to somebody else?

Speaker:

Or is it being kind to yourself?

Speaker:

Personally, I found that , if you take that guilt away and you just said, or you

Speaker:

just let that emotion be shown of how you feel, it takes a whole lot of weight away

Speaker:

from you, because when you try to carry somebody's expectations of you, they might

Speaker:

be very well meaning as well, but when you are carrying that and when you're trying

Speaker:

to live up to that, there's a balance that you are shifting with yourself.

Speaker:

You essentially are giving them a little bit more importance

Speaker:

than you give to yourself.

Speaker:

And loving yourself comes back to loving yourself.

Speaker:

Taking pride in valuing yourself.

Speaker:

Just giving yourself that space to be and this is what I like,

Speaker:

this is what I don't like.

Speaker:

I have some examples for you just to think through if you want to think around

Speaker:

loving yourself and perhaps at least in my terms this is how it means to me.

Speaker:

Think of your day.

Speaker:

Think of just how you talk to yourself.

Speaker:

As you go around, are you criticizing yourself?

Speaker:

So are you saying, Hey, I'm running late and oh my God, I did that again.

Speaker:

Look silly me.

Speaker:

Is that your talk?

Speaker:

Or is your talk like, that's all right.

Speaker:

I'm running late.

Speaker:

It's fine.

Speaker:

I have always done this, whatever.

Speaker:

But like just doing a little bit of a pep talk with yourself.

Speaker:

What do you do?

Speaker:

Do you criticize yourself?

Speaker:

Or are you speaking with yourself?

Speaker:

Are you speaking to yourself kindly and lovingly?

Speaker:

Are you giving yourself that space?

Speaker:

Okay, another one to think of beyond that is just think of your birthday.

Speaker:

I know a lot of people as they grow up, they start thinking around other

Speaker:

people and their birthdays become more important and somehow their own birthday

Speaker:

becomes like a little bit lesser deal.

Speaker:

Are you celebrating yourself?

Speaker:

It doesn't have to be the biggest, most pompous celebration, but

Speaker:

are you giving yourself time?

Speaker:

Are you celebrating?

Speaker:

Are you saying, hey, happy birthday to me?

Speaker:

Are you celebrating your birth?

Speaker:

Are you celebrating that you, as a really capable living person,

Speaker:

capable of infinite stuff, who's had this myriad of experiences,

Speaker:

are you celebrating that person?

Speaker:

Are you celebrating what you bring to this world?

Speaker:

Are you celebrating that?

Speaker:

Are you grateful, do you feel blessed for that?

Speaker:

If not, I encourage you to start doing it.

Speaker:

And it doesn't mean you have to go out and have a really big lavish thing,

Speaker:

but start out with the baby steps.

Speaker:

Start out with the smallest things that you can.

Speaker:

Maybe write a card to yourself, maybe write a letter to yourself,

Speaker:

maybe buy a gift for yourself.

Speaker:

And hey, and that's another one.

Speaker:

So when is the last time you got yourself something?

Speaker:

And I don't mean got yourself clothes that you really needed to get or got yourself.

Speaker:

You know, anything, food that you really needed to eat, not that, but when did

Speaker:

you last buy something for yourself?

Speaker:

When did you last give something to yourself?

Speaker:

And giving is lots of things.

Speaker:

It doesn't have to be material things.

Speaker:

It could be just giving yourself time.

Speaker:

Like if you rested when you needed to rest, did you say, I did a great job.

Speaker:

I looked after myself.

Speaker:

Or, did you wake up and go like, oh shucks, I shouldn't have slept

Speaker:

or just felt guilty about it.

Speaker:

It's okay, I've done all of that.

Speaker:

I'm just bringing up all of these examples because potentially these

Speaker:

are things that we are all doing.

Speaker:

And if anything, I just want you to rethink these general

Speaker:

talks, these general concepts or beliefs that we have regarding us.

Speaker:

Give yourself the permission to live.

Speaker:

Give yourself the permission to love yourself.

Speaker:

Love yourself.

Speaker:

Celebrate yourself.

Speaker:

Okay, so next question, does loving yourself mean being selfish?

Speaker:

On the one hand, it does sound selfish, right?

Speaker:

Loving yourself means you're prioritizing yourself.

Speaker:

What about all the people who love you?

Speaker:

What about all the people who depend on you?

Speaker:

You know, you are not giving them as much importance by loving yourself.

Speaker:

And usually, the people who will say that are people who actually

Speaker:

want you to do something for them that will make them happier.

Speaker:

So they're effectively asking you to live your life in a way or part of it in a

Speaker:

way so that they can feel more fulfilled and they can feel more satisfied.

Speaker:

You see the game here?

Speaker:

Once you switch it around, you realize that if anybody is actually asking

Speaker:

you why are you loving yourself?

Speaker:

And why are you putting yourself first?

Speaker:

How are you selfish?

Speaker:

Then, they're essentially doing exactly the same to you.

Speaker:

They're putting their needs, they're putting their desires first.

Speaker:

Now truth is, I believe that if you actually start looking after yourself,

Speaker:

when you value yourself, when you love yourself, when you hear yourself, you see

Speaker:

yourself, the highest chances are that the more compassion you have for yourself,

Speaker:

the more compassion flows through you.

Speaker:

And it flows just not for you, it flows for other people as well.

Speaker:

You really give out and you emanate that compassion, that love and

Speaker:

kindness for everybody else as well.

Speaker:

There will still be definitely a few people who will still be troubled,

Speaker:

bothered by your changed stance.

Speaker:

And perhaps they're not the people to align with because they were

Speaker:

tramping over your boundaries anyway.

Speaker:

Hehe.

Speaker:

So well, here, I think that you come in your body.

Speaker:

You did not come into somebody else's life first.

Speaker:

You first came into your body, your life.

Speaker:

Your first priority is your own skin, like just looking after yourself.

Speaker:

If you look at airlines and when they're giving their safety

Speaker:

announcements, they always say, hook yourself first, put on your safety

Speaker:

mask first before helping someone else.

Speaker:

It's literally that principle.

Speaker:

If you do not have enough to give out, if you have not loved yourself enough to give

Speaker:

out, you cannot love someone else enough.

Speaker:

If you do not have, let's say, one cup of water, you can't give

Speaker:

one cup of water to someone else.

Speaker:

But you need to first have that cup yourself.

Speaker:

So you need to first nourish yourself rather than depending

Speaker:

on somebody else to nourish you.

Speaker:

It's actually a really good principle around just nourishing yourself, being

Speaker:

self sustaining, being self complete.

Speaker:

Nourishing yourself, looking after yourself, looking after your own needs, so

Speaker:

that when your partner or when your loved ones, when they need you, if you've got

Speaker:

enough love, if you feel loved and cared and looked after, you can give them more.

Speaker:

Okay, so I hope that really helps you.

Speaker:

My last question for today is how loving yourself can change your life.

Speaker:

I wanted to give a few examples here on what happens when

Speaker:

you start loving yourself.

Speaker:

You'll notice that the more you do you, you're actually teaching the world to

Speaker:

treat yourself in that same way as well.

Speaker:

The universe gets that exact same command.

Speaker:

A shift happens and some people will feel uncomfortable with that shift.

Speaker:

Some people will feel that you've changed and essentially that is

Speaker:

because your new version doesn't suit their version and that's okay.

Speaker:

Sometimes they'll take some time, they might just change and they'll change their

Speaker:

way of dealing with you, their way of expecting with you and they'll stay there.

Speaker:

Some people will just leave and that's okay as well because if they were really

Speaker:

loving you, if they really saw you and heard you, if they really valued you,

Speaker:

they would just pat your back, they would be like, you, you go, you go.

Speaker:

So it's okay.

Speaker:

As you shift that vibration, as you shift this vibration of really

Speaker:

stepping into you, acknowledging yourself more, giving yourself more

Speaker:

space, you're raising your vibration.

Speaker:

New people will come, you will find new experiences coming into your life.

Speaker:

You'll find more people who resonate more with you.

Speaker:

You'll find more people where you can be really honest, authentic, and they

Speaker:

see your light and you see their light.

Speaker:

You create a much better world.

Speaker:

I'd like to leave you with this.

Speaker:

Think about the time when you were born.

Speaker:

You know, just imagine yourself up in the air and hopefully you're

Speaker:

the spirit and you're thinking, Okay, where do I want to go?

Speaker:

Who are my parents?

Speaker:

And you're looking at your life and you were just thinking if

Speaker:

you want to be born on Earth.

Speaker:

Now, back in that time, when you are wanting to be born, I bet you're

Speaker:

not thinking, well, I will go down there and I will serve X, Y, and Z.

Speaker:

And I will spend the rest of my life doing that and being really sad.

Speaker:

Probably your thought coming into this world was to create to create

Speaker:

a life that you really liked, to have joy, to really live this life.

Speaker:

So you owe that to yourself.

Speaker:

Owe your life, your life purpose, your life meaning, your life joy

Speaker:

to yourself, because that's how you bring out your fullest potential.

Speaker:

That's how you are your most enlightened self to be able to give

Speaker:

out that light and to be able to give out that love in this world.

Speaker:

I highly encourage you to just think about where you are at

Speaker:

in your equation with yourself.

Speaker:

How much you love yourself.

Speaker:

And then think around ways of how you can just do it a little bit more because

Speaker:

we all possibly can, including me.

Speaker:

If you're interested, I've got a really brilliant program.

Speaker:

It's called Life Makeover.

Speaker:

You'll find it at artoflifecenter.com/art.

Speaker:

In this program, Life Makeover program, I basically have five amazing modules.

Speaker:

We do a little bit of art, we do a little bit of visualization, and we play.

Speaker:

With every single session, I show you how you can have a little bit

Speaker:

more in your life, how you can have a little bit more abundant life.

Speaker:

I teach you everything from controlling or basically taking back your

Speaker:

ownership with time, to manifesting, to loving yourself, accepting

Speaker:

yourself more, healing past traumas.

Speaker:

It is absolutely amazing and it's gentle.

Speaker:

It's fun.

Speaker:

It's really art therapy based.

Speaker:

So you will have a blast.

Speaker:

If you're interested, just click on the link and you will know more.

Speaker:

I will see you there.

Speaker:

So till next time, I will see you next time at the Art of Life podcast.

Speaker:

Thank you so much for joining me today.

Speaker:

I will see you soon.

Chapters

Video

More from YouTube