As someone who spent my whole adult life with my emotions being invalidated, I used to be so triggered by the idea that my emotions shouldn't impact my marketing.

Until I realized that while emotions will always be present in business, we can’t let them be in the driver’s seat—or we won’t make money consistently. And as a single parent breadwinner, I can't afford to "wait to feel better." So this episode covers what I have done instead.

There’s a difference between honoring your emotions and letting them be the CEO, marketing director or sales manager.

This episode isn’t about bypassing your emotions. It’s about creating safety in your business so you’re not dependent on motivation, confidence, or creativity in order to show up.

I’m walking you through 4 ways that have helped me and my clients reduce emotional dependency in business—so they can keep marketing and making sales even when life is life-ing.

These are typically the four reasons I see clients stop showing up, stall their sales, or go quiet—because their emotions become drivers vs passengers (your emotions will always be present in the vehicle).

Here’s what I walk through:

• The question I ask myself (and clients) to interrupt emotional spirals
• Why your content strategy must run on facts—not feelings
• How isolation quietly magnifies shame and self-doubt
• What it looks like to add nervous system care to your CEO job description

This isn’t a checklist. You don’t need to do all four.

But even one of these may be the thing that helps you feel safer showing up consistently—and that’s what’s required to build a sustainable business.

Because if your business only makes money when you feel good, you’ll never feel safe in your business.

👉 This is exactly what I help my clients with inside private coaching—creating a business that doesn’t collapse based on your humanity.

Schedule a call to discuss private coaching

Join the waitlist for Reclamation Mastermind

Hey everyone, I want to talk about something that used to trigger me, but I think it's important because you're a human being in business. And as long as you're a human in business and you are the primary one serving your clients and coming up with the ideas and all the things, you're going to inevitably have to deal with

What happens when you don't feel good? What happens when life is lifing? What happens when your confidence is down? When your capacity is down? If you are burnt out, if you experience a loss in your family, infertility, miscarriage, losing someone you love, or just being in your head and just not feeling really good. Like these are all normal things that we don't.

not only do we not need to be ashamed of, because they're such normal human experiences, we also need to actually plan for them in business. And I think that a lot of what we are shown or a lot of what we believe is that it's something to be fixed. Like we have to fix how we feel in order to market. And that's a lot of what I thought, you know, for the beginning of business. It's like, I would be annoyed that I was.

having these human emotions. I was annoyed that I didn't feel confident. I was mad at myself and like that compounds. So what happens from that place is that you try to succeed your way out of it. It's almost like I can't feel better until I make the sale. I can't feel better until this circumstance changes or my result changes. And rarely does it ever work out like that when you need to feel different every single time before.

you can make different decisions. And the thing is, is because the way you feel affects the quality of thought that you have, it affects your confidence, especially if a lot of your marketing has to do with you like showing up and showing your face, which for many people is difficult. What happens is you start like not being able to be as creative. Like if you ever try to sit down and like on the spot, say, I'm going to come up, I'm going to go live, for example, like I don't, know, anything like that, or I'm going to come up with a content idea.

and you don't feel good, you don't feel confident, you're going through something, for the most part, it's such a human normal experience to be like, I don't wanna be seen, I don't wanna show my face, I don't know if I have anything worthwhile to say. ⁓ People are gonna see right through me, like this is so normal to experience for anybody who has a brand and that brand makes them money, right? So I wanna talk to you about this because I've had to work through this in so many ways myself. Like I've been in business now for almost six years.

I'm a single parent. My daughter is eight years old. I am her sole provider. I don't get to not pay the bills. But to be honest, I have felt bad in business more often than I felt good. I have gone through the depths of my healing journey publicly in front of people while growing this business. I think that I've had harder, more hard days than I have had days where I feel confident, clear, good.

And it's because a lot of stuff relies on me, right? Like I have to take care of her and raise her. I have to create my own dollars. I don't have a paycheck somebody gives me unless I create it, and that's hard. And also entrepreneurship, especially if you're a daughter of immigrants, also requires you to sit in a lot of like trauma responses, like being visible, being potentially the prospect of being rejected or failing or being wrong or being canceled.

⁓ financial scarcity, having to invest. We literally are sitting in so many of your inner child's worst fears in order to do this business, in order to be a thought leader and have a brand and serve people. So let's just hold space for that. And this is why I've had to solve for it because I had to solve for it for me. And this is why for me to effectively serve daughters of immigrants and women of color, I've also had to...

solve this for them and help them figure out how do you stop letting your emotions rule your sales? So with that being said, ⁓ the very first thing, and I'll tell you kind of personal stories of where I had to figure this out for myself and where I kept waiting to feel better. And then I realized like, if you don't figure this out now, like you're always, your sales are always gonna be affected by how you feel. And I used to feel triggered when people said that, cause I was like,

I don't ever want to bypass how I feel, how I feel is so important. You don't understand. I always had to leave my emotions at the door in corporate. So was very triggered by whenever there was any sort of semblance around like you can't let your emotions affect your sales because I was like, how can it not? I'm a human. I used to have to shut my emotions and leave them at the door in corporate all the time. I remember going to the office the day after I knew my ex-husband and I were going to split up and I was pregnant. And it's like that was different, though, because I had to leave myself at the door.

In order for me to make money, this time I get to choose what it looks like to honor how I feel, but create systems that still have my back, that don't rely on my creativity, they don't rely on how I feel. And that's different than shutting down how you feel. So that's the difference. This is how I've made it through healing publicly a year and a half of burnout, still having to raise my child, still having to make money, still serving my clients, all the things. So the very first thing of how to stop letting your emotions rule your sales is

I ask my clients this question all the time and myself, when things come up and you feel a certain type of way, is there a problem to solve or is there just a feeling to feel? The answer to that, maybe it depends and that's okay. But asking yourself like, is there a problem to solve or is there a feeling to feel will help you figure out like, okay, maybe it's 70%. I feel

Vulnerable or I feel rejected or I feel scared or I feel unsure but from there Once you identify how you feel how much of it is there actually a problem? Because sometimes when we don't when we bypass how we feel will immediately go into solving and fixing and bypassing and then you make a big-ass deal out of something that might just be an emotion so you can't fix your way out of a feeling you have to

understand what's coming up for you. And from there, realize, like I said, is there a problem? How big is the problem? What actually is it? And notice it, validate it. And this is what allows us to see our business problems a little more neutrally. Because you, if you don't have problems, you don't have a business. Like period. If you don't have problems, you don't have a business. Because problems are where growth happens. Problem means you're trying, right?

But we make problems mean something's wrong with us and we have to like fix ourselves So that's number one in how to stop letting your emotions rule your sales is to notice the emotion that's coming up and ask yourself, is there a problem to solve or is there a feeling to feel? And maybe the answer is both. The second, which is so important is,

building marketing and content systems that don't rely on your creativity, your confidence, your mindset or your energy. This sounds a little crazy, right? Cause people will say like, you need to be in energetics and you need to feel confident. But I'm like, bitch, I don't feel like that all the time. I literally don't. I would have been waiting a long ass time when I was burnt out for a year and a half. I was convinced that I couldn't make money until I felt better.

And then it dragged on and then it dragged on and then it dragged on and I still felt horrible and there were still days I couldn't get out of bed. But guess what? I still needed to make money and show up for my business, but I didn't want to also shove my emotions in a box. So I had to build systems for marketing and for content that didn't rely on just my brain because my brain was trash. Didn't feel good. It felt shitty. I didn't want to be seen.

you need to create systems that have like, what is it that my clients are actually saying? What is it that they're saying in their applications? What are they saying in their onboarding form? What are those words? I've helped my clients literally built a GPT. that you upload your client applications, your onboarding forms.

And the GPT breaks it out into what are their main problems? What are the main goals? Why is it that they chose to work with you? Why did they reach out now? What are the things they tried before? And what that does, so for you, this may look like actually having your applications that you've downloaded and looked at. So on the days that you feel horrible, rather than asking your brain, you can go to the data and say, what are they actually saying? If I were to respond to a question that my clients had, like, what would that look like today? And it's

to your nervous system to have marketing systems that don't rely on your own ideas and how you feel because your brain is wrong all the time. Even if you felt good, you are going to naturally want to market in a certain type of way. You're going to over index on a certain type of marketing. You're going to sell to people who buy like you. Not everybody buys like you. So this is where it's like more mature business model is going to have systems where you're like, how do I actually create content?

and it doesn't rely on just my ideas, isn't just like to feelings proof your business, it's also to help it be sustainable. It's to help you to be able to sell to people who buy differently from you. It's to help you speak to things that are in their words, not yours, because when you've been doing something for a really long time, it's almost like if you spoke to somebody who was a neurosurgeon and they were trying to explain it to somebody in high school, they'd be like, went right over my head.

And it's hard and like because you're so smart and you know what you're doing, sometimes your language is just way up here and you actually need a content system that's anchored in your client's language. If you're not on my email list, get on my email list because at four o'clock in exactly two hours, I'm to send a video walkthrough on a tool that my reclamation clients use and my private clients use. It's a custom GPT, like I said. All you feed it with is your client applications and it will create a whole marketing document and you literally can ask it questions you can say.

Can you look at this and tell me what are five things that my clients are trying to do right now that aren't working and why they aren't working? And it will tell you that. And then you get to create the content based on facts, not feelings. So creating your marketing based on facts, not feelings is literally how you stop letting your emotions rule your sales. So that's number two is building systems that rely on facts, not feelings and don't rely on your creativity and confidence. Number three of how to stop letting your emotions rule your sales.

is you have to stop creating an isolation. ⁓ Meaning your environment really, really, really matters. As a human being, we look to the people around us for signs of safety. So if we notice like we're spinning out about something or we're ashamed about something or we think we're the only person going through this, your brain will literally think you're the only person going through it, which is why when you do scary shit, when you do things that really expand your self-concept, it is so important that your environment signals safety.

Think about like if you see a flock of birds and they're just chilling and they're eating bread crumbs off the floor and one of them flies, the rest of them are gonna fly because they'll be like, I don't know what it is, but we need to go. So we look to our environment for are we safe? And you can't, I would say you could build the early days of your business, maybe on your own with a one-on-one coach. To be honest for me, the very first thing that I looked for was community.

where people were asking similar questions, where they were also putting themselves on the line. And that's because you need to create a little delulu bubble of people in a similar place to you because it's gonna change your brain chemistry. It's gonna help you feel safe. It's gonna help you normalize things in business that are hard when your brain wants to tell you it's danger. When your brain wants to tell you it's a fault with you, you're the only person going through it, you need to stop, it's not working. You have to be able to change your environment. So how to stop letting your emotions rule your sails.

You have to change your environment to like-minded people who are also building with you, who are asking similar questions because it is going to help you be able to actually access the best of you and your own thoughts and feel safe to continue to grow, to expand, and to put your ass on the line, to be honest, in entrepreneurship, right? And your emotions have more power when they're in isolation. Shame.

and self-criticism, they just multiply in isolation, which is why we really do need community to regulate our nervous system, to anchor ourselves, and just people who will mirror your power back to you. Number four is, I use the term CEO job description because I work with really smart people who often come from corporate. Your literal job description needs to include mind and body. So,

You as the CEO of your company have a job description. You had a job description when you first started. In year one, it was just grow a brand, just be visible, just grow an audience, Figure out your offer. Like that's your CEO job description. Once you've served clients and you've been in business a while, your job has to change. Think about you probably were never in a job more than a couple of years in corporate. If you came from corporate, same thing with your business. People try to grow their business with an old CEO job description.

You're trying to do entry level stuff to grow your business and it don't work, It's your literal job to say, does my body need? What does my mind need in order for me to keep putting my ass on the line to grow this business? So for example, there are certain things that maybe you could get away with at the beginning that you can no longer get away with once you're holding more. So things like moving your body, getting sun on your face, knowing...

What is nervous system regulation? Knowing like what fight or flight feels like in your body, knowing like, oh, my chest is tightening up because like we'll feel an emotion. Like my chest is tightening up. OK, my throat is closing up. And then you're like, I'm not going to post. I'm not going to market. I don't have anything to say. People don't want to work with me. And sometimes the problem to solve, like how I said it in number one, is there a problem to solve or a feeling to feel? Sometimes the feeling to feel is like something in your body is actually stopping you. And we're trying to action our way out of how we feel when in reality you need to chill the fuck out.

and be like, I haven't gone to the gym this week. I haven't taken my walk this week. this makes sense why I feel this way. And guess what? You solve the problem just through taking care of your body, just through taking care of your mind. It is no longer optional for you not to do that. You can do that at the beginning. You cannot do that. Your job description as a CEO has to change to include your mind and include your body.

and daughters of immigrants don't like to do this because we're survival brain, is taking inventory of what is working, taking inventory of all of the reasons you're safe, positive client feedback, client results, like when your clients are winning, leaving yourself voice memos to be like, wow, I just got off of this client call or wow, I just finished a photo shoot or wow, I just did this thing and like.

I'm so proud of myself. I'm like, have to leave yourself breadcrumbs of what is working because nervous system safety is going to not take that into consideration because when you're in survival mode, you're only looking for signs of danger. So you have to make it a practice to notice what is working. And part of how I do that years ago, I created a process called belief bookmarking.

So I knew that I had maybe 5 % of days where I felt really confident and in my zone and 95 % where I didn't. I grew up with a lot of gaslighting. I grew up with a lot of invalidation, a lot of you're dramatic, you're crazy. So in that trauma, I created a system where in the moments I trusted myself and hear myself and I was like, okay, I would write myself notes. I would leave myself voice memos of here's what happened.

You tomorrow is going to forget this. Here's a message that I have for you tomorrow. And that is what allowed me to go from feeling confident and good and trusting myself 5 % of the time to 10 % of the time to 20 % of the time to 70 % of the time. Right. And so it's no longer optional to just see how you feel. It's no longer optional. Your CEO job description has to include mindset. It has to include body nervous system, all those things. Right. So I literally created systems for this, including belief bookmarking that

allow you to bottle up the evidence of what is working, how are you safe, what evidence do you have that things are working out because future you is gonna dismiss it because it's not useful to survival brain to look at what's working, it's only useful to survival brain to see what isn't working. So this is how daughters of immigrants and women of color and anybody from marginalized backgrounds, anybody from a survival background has to change their CEO job description to actually say like, I have to do these things.

because otherwise momentum is going to take me backwards. And sometimes what I see us doing as daughters of immigrants, a lot of the times is like, we stop doing that and we gravitate to who is selling us all the answers. Someone who's like, I'm going to tell you exactly what to do. I'm going to tell you all the step-by-step and they're like, yes, okay, yes, I want to do this because this person is going to tell me exactly what to do. And then you're left with yourself and yourself is still having thoughts and yourself is being really mean and yourself is not feeling safe. So like your job description has to include these things. Okay. So

I would say that without this, business becomes a thankless job. It becomes a thankless job to be you. It becomes a thankless job for you to win because you just leaky bucket, leaky bucket. just exits. So to recap, four things you need to do to stop letting your emotions rule your sales is number one, ask yourself, is there a problem to solve or a feeling to feel? Anytime you start to notice self-doubt, anxiousness,

self-criticism or is there just a feeling to feel and sit in it and honor it say, I notice you, I notice that you're coming up. Number two, building systems that rely on facts, not feelings, essentially building systems that marketing systems that don't rely on your creativity, your confidence or your energy, because that's not sustainable for anybody. As much as people want to be like, it's energetic and it's mindset. Sometimes we don't have time to feel better, but we still need to do our jobs. Number three, stop creating an isolation. You need to change your environment.

because environment signals safety. And number four is you need to change your literal CEO job description. It's expired. And that CEO job description includes how do you look after your mind? How do you look after your body? How do you look after the quality of thoughts? How do you take inventory of what's working, of what people are saying, of what impact you're making in the world? Don't just dismiss it because that is what makes you start from zero every day when you don't have to, okay?

So with this being said, I hope this was helpful. This is literally me and my trauma brain, my trauma past as a daughter of immigrant doing hard shit to be able to build a million dollar business, to be able to make multiple six figures and raise a child and pay the bills and have this all beyond me, right? For so long, I felt like my life and my business are so much harder because I'm a single parent. Other people don't have this problem. it sucks so much. I feel like I always have drama. I always have something going on. And

I learned something going into this launch because I've been going through something this summer that only my friends know about. And it really affected my voice. it was just past trauma, something that happened. And this situation came up again and I was dealing with it on a regular basis for months. And I noticed when that situation came up, my throat would close up and then I didn't want to post and I didn't want to do stuff because my throat would close up. And I was like.

this thing in my life is literally affecting my voice and it's affecting my self-confidence. And I was so mad and I was like, why do I always have something going on that's affecting my sales? Why can't I just have it together? And then I realized like, Mariela, you already solved for this. It's okay to decide. You know what? Right now I'm not going to ask myself to post. I'm on vacation. I'm doing whatever. That's totally fine. This doesn't mean post above all else and ignore how you feel. But I came back and

I came into this launch dealing with stuff that was really scary that I'm still dealing with in my life, So I'm using my own systems right now in order for me to show up for this launch, show up for my clients in a way that doesn't cause me to override the fact that like my voice wound is still being very much activated right now. And I'm here going live and I never go live. Right. So with this being said, I hope this was helpful.

I will help you build this out for yourself. This is what I do for my clients. So if you are even thinking about it, let's get on a call because even if it's not Reclamation and it's private coaching or it's telegram coaching, whatever that is, schedule the call with me

If anything this gives you an idea of how I coach I look at the whole person I look at your life. I look at these things I don't just look at what you bring to me and I don't just look at the strategy I couldn't help women of color and daughters of immigrants make millions of dollars if I only looked at strategy

All right, y'all. I will talk to you soon.