What’s the Story is a podcast full of stories about faith and courage from everyday people.
Here's a Summary of this week's story:
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About Beth
Beth is Yorkshire-born and a full-time mamma of two. She loves writing, marketing and crafting with the kids. She is also an avid blogger!
Welcome to what's the story?
Speaker:My name is Matt Edmundson, and this is a podcast full of stories about
Speaker:faith and courage from everyday people.
Speaker:And today I'm chatting with the legendary Beth Coppenhall about
Speaker:learning how not to overthink things.
Speaker:Oh, yes, we are getting into that.
Speaker:But before I get into all things, Beth, uh, one thing that I do love to do is give
Speaker:a shout out to past guests and episodes and given, uh, the topics that we are
Speaker:gonna be talking today about motherhood, glandular fever, all kinds of things.
Speaker:Uh, I thought it would be great to mention, uh, the livestream we
Speaker:did called Faith and Motherhood.
Speaker:Does it make a difference?
Speaker:That was done on a Mother's Day with Sally Burch.
Speaker:You can check that one out.
Speaker:And also check out the Talk by John Harding journey through the wall.
Speaker:You can find these and our entire archive of episodes and live streams, uh, on our
Speaker:website for free at www.crowd.church.
Speaker:And whilst you're there, be sure to sign up for our newsletter.
Speaker:And each week we will email you the links along with the
Speaker:notes from the conversations.
Speaker:Uh, they go direct your inbox, totally free.
Speaker:Totally amazing.
Speaker:Now.
Speaker:This episode is brought to you by Crowd Online Church.
Speaker:Beth, I'm sure you know them as well as I do.
Speaker:Not everybody, uh, can go to church.
Speaker:Not everybody, uh, wants to go to church.
Speaker:Not everybody can make it to a church building, and this is where online
Speaker:Church works really, really well.
Speaker:It is a safe space to explore the Christian faith.
Speaker:And the thing that I love about Crowd Online Church is that you get to join in.
Speaker:And shape the conversation.
Speaker:Oh, yes.
Speaker:So if you have never been to church before, or if you are looking for a new
Speaker:church to join, do checkout Crowd Church.
Speaker:The website is www.crowd.church.
Speaker:Uh, and if you've got any questions, email me directly at matt@crowd.church.
Speaker:I will try my very best to answer them.
Speaker:Oh, yes.
Speaker:Now Beth, what can I say about Beth?
Speaker:Uh, I've known Beth for a little while.
Speaker:Uh, she is Yorkshire born, a full-time mama of two.
Speaker:Uh, she loves writing's, actually a brilliant writer.
Speaker:Uh, she loves marketing, brilliant at marketing, uh, and crafting with the kids.
Speaker:I don't know whether she's brilliant at that, but let's just go with yes.
Speaker:Uh, and she blogs regularly@bethcoppenhall.com.
Speaker:If you wanna read some of Beth's blog posts, which I suggest you
Speaker:do, Beth, welcome to the podcast, welcome to what's the story.
Speaker:Great to have you here.
Speaker:How you doing?
Speaker:I'm good.
Speaker:Hello!
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Good.
Speaker:Now this is, uh, a little, uh, reminiscent.
Speaker:I feel you and I doing video conversations together.
Speaker:It's very strange.
Speaker:It's like going back in time, except I've now got two kids.
Speaker:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker:Absolutely.
Speaker:So, um,
Speaker:I'm not talking about skincare unless question.
Speaker:We can totally talk about skincare.
Speaker:I should probably explain dear listener and viewer, uh, if you don't know the
Speaker:story of Beth and I and why would you?
Speaker:Uh, Beth and I used to work together before, uh, the two
Speaker:kids came along and Beth was.
Speaker:Uh, what was your title?
Speaker:Chief Marketing?
Speaker:I don't even, I don't actually remember.
Speaker:It was something, was it Queen of Content or something?
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Well, queen,
Speaker:I can't remember.
Speaker:It was Queen.
Speaker:It had Queen in the title.
Speaker:It definitely, definitely had the queen in the title, and Beth used to handle
Speaker:all our marketing and all our content.
Speaker:And so, uh, yeah, quite, quite often we would find ourselves two sat together
Speaker:in front of a video camera talking about everything from skincare to e-commerce
Speaker:to whatever crazy idea I had that day.
Speaker:Uh, and so yeah, it's just, it's just, it's quite nice.
Speaker:Beth, you and I are doing video again.
Speaker:It's quite, it's quite reminiscent.
Speaker:It's quite lovely.
Speaker:It is.
Speaker:That's, well, it's great to be here.
Speaker:So other than, uh, working with me, uh, you, which is obviously
Speaker:one of the key highlights of life, uh, you've got two beautiful
Speaker:kids, uh, and a beautiful husband.
Speaker:And you live here in Sunny Liverpool, but your accent is Yorkshire born, right?
Speaker:Yes.
Speaker:That's why I put that there cuz I thought.
Speaker:Anyone's listening and is like, what are you saying?
Speaker:I'm from Yorkshire, and I haven't ever left my accent.
Speaker:I'm quite proud of it, actually, but it does get a lot of comments.
Speaker:Good comments or bad comments?
Speaker:Oh, a mixture.
Speaker:To be honest, I'm, but like, excuse me, this is my accent.
Speaker:I can't do anything about it.
Speaker:This is who I am.
Speaker:One of my friends who's like 92.
Speaker:Um, she came round and she, and I was offering her a piece of cake.
Speaker:This was pretty recently.
Speaker:I said, do you want some cake, Gina?
Speaker:Do you want some cake?
Speaker:And she genuinely didn't know what I was on about for a long time.
Speaker:And then she says "Oh, Cake!"
Speaker:That's funny.
Speaker:The word coaster, as in what you put a hot drink on.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:And people looked a bit like bit blank.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:So if I say any words that you think need a bit of translation for
Speaker:your wider audience, that's fine.
Speaker:Yeah, I'll, I'll try and translate.
Speaker:My father is from, uh, your part of the world, from, from Yorkshire.
Speaker:So I'm, I'm used to the accent and I'm used to the language and the lingo.
Speaker:Uh, but it was great actually when you worked at the office, just having
Speaker:that accent that strong in our office.
Speaker:So be proud of it, Beth.
Speaker:Be proud of it.
Speaker:I would be.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:There was also another one there, isn't there?
Speaker:There's still a Yorkshire person in Mark Jackson at the helm.
Speaker:Well, you know, you were, you were.
Speaker:It's funny, isn't it?
Speaker:Uh, how when you two talk you sort of bring each other's accents out.
Speaker:Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker:That is a Yorkshire thing.
Speaker:Like, so when I go back to my mom and dad's Terry's like, I dunno what
Speaker:you're saying, in March, eight years,
Speaker:We also find people like Yorkshire people find people that are from Yorkshire.
Speaker:So obviously I'm living in Liverpool, been here for like 12 years, but
Speaker:I will find the Yorkshire people and like they will be my friends.
Speaker:And just sort of gravitate towards each other.
Speaker:Yeah, we do.
Speaker:It's a thing.
Speaker:I was telling someone this the other day.
Speaker:I was like, yeah, just find each other.
Speaker:Yeah, no, fair play.
Speaker:Fair play.
Speaker:So you've been in Liverpool 12 years.
Speaker:Uh, you came as a student.
Speaker:. Mm-hmm..
Speaker:Um, were you a Christian when you came to Liverpool?
Speaker:Nope.
Speaker:Nope.
Speaker:I wasn't a Christian.
Speaker:Um, so my story starts with, I guess a praying mom.
Speaker:So my mom was, became Christian when she was 13.
Speaker:Um, and she's always prayed for me, but she, she, she took me to church.
Speaker:Um, she was in part of like a little house church.
Speaker:Um, but um, she said she took me there quite a lot, but when I was
Speaker:little, but I don't remember going much in high school like, and yeah.
Speaker:When I was at uni I didn't even, it wasn't even a thing.
Speaker:I wasn't like, oh, I'm church when I go to uni.
Speaker:I just wasn't a Christian.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:So I came, it's actually quite cool how I came to Liverpool
Speaker:cuz I put Newcastle down.
Speaker:I was very, I think I still am getting over this.
Speaker:Always want the best grade.
Speaker:Always want the top.
Speaker:So I really wanted to go to Newcastle University and they wanted really
Speaker:high grades and I put Liverpool University as my second choice,
Speaker:which everyone told me not to do.
Speaker:My pharm tutor was like, why would you do that?
Speaker:I want, they want the same grades.
Speaker:And I was like, but I don't really want to go anywhere else.
Speaker:So I'm just gonna put where I want to go.
Speaker:I'm not, why would I put something there?
Speaker:I don't want to go just cause it's lower grades.
Speaker:Um, and yet Newcastle were like, no, because I didn't quite make it.
Speaker:I got an A and two B's, but my B's were really good.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Um, and I think Liverpool obviously God was in it, cuz in hindsight, like
Speaker:that's, he brought me here for a reason, but, . But yeah, Liverpool, they had
Speaker:a bit of like, oh yeah, she can come.
Speaker:She got two high B's.
Speaker:We'll let her off, we'll let her off that one.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:So yeah, ended up here, like, it wasn't my first choice.
Speaker:Mm-hmm..
Speaker:Um, but I loved it.
Speaker:I loved the love the city.
Speaker:I wanted to be somewhere like Leeds, but different.
Speaker:So I want you to draw on independence.
Speaker:But I do quite like being a Northerner and I like, I think
Speaker:Northern City is quite friendly.
Speaker:I went, I didn't want it too far from home, so yeah, it ticked all my boxes.
Speaker:So I can see why you chose Liverpool or Newcastle because they're sort of
Speaker:equidistant from Leeds, aren't they?
Speaker:And they're both Northern towns and they're actually all quite similar to
Speaker:each other in feel and friendliness.
Speaker:I think Newcastle's a great city.
Speaker:Liverpool's a great city.
Speaker:Leeds is a great city.
Speaker:Um, and so yeah, I can see why, why those choices, but you weren't.
Speaker:So what happened then?
Speaker:Um, when you came to uni, if you weren't a Christian on your arrival,
Speaker:so you've got a praying mum, you've not really gone to church, um, and you've
Speaker:sort of ended up at, at uni here.
Speaker:What happened?
Speaker:So not a right lot for the first two years.
Speaker:So I was very studious, wanted the best grades.
Speaker:Like I said, I also was a big people pleaser.
Speaker:I wanted to be everybody's friend.
Speaker:Again.
Speaker:Still something that I'm getting over like, so I kind of did all the things
Speaker:that you should do when you're a student.
Speaker:Um, went to all the lectures, but also I was a bit of a mess.
Speaker:I did all the binge drinking and partying.
Speaker:Yeah, just like it's, it is a weird blur of a time because I think, I think
Speaker:I was pretty anxious, but I didn't realize, like, I was asking my mom
Speaker:about the other day and she was like, if anyone said it, are you all right?
Speaker:You'd just be like, yeah, I'm totally fine.
Speaker:I don't need help.
Speaker:I, I don't need anything.
Speaker:Like, I was just like, I'm fine.
Speaker:I've got this.
Speaker:But then in.
Speaker:Between second and third year, I decided to go interrailing.
Speaker:So you get train, you get a special train ticket you're allowed on all the trains.
Speaker:So that was really cool.
Speaker:But like I did not expect it to change my life in the way that it changed my life.
Speaker:And I knew when I was there I was like, something weird is happening cuz I
Speaker:remember seeing a picture on the wall.
Speaker:I can't remember what it said now that's really gonna bug me.
Speaker:But something about, you know, like getting lost and finding yourself
Speaker:and something reflective like that.
Speaker:And I just, I really was kind of going on this, um, I guess I thought
Speaker:a lot when I was there kind of thing.
Speaker:Like, and I came back home and I had Glandular Fever,
Speaker:um, from drinking too much.
Speaker:Wow.
Speaker:But nobody knew that had Glandular fever, so.
Speaker:People kept saying, um, it's freshers flu.
Speaker:And I was like, I'm not a fresher.
Speaker:I kept going to the doctors, they're like, it's freshers flu.
Speaker:I was like, I'm not a fresher, this cough is not going away.
Speaker:I do not feel well like me.
Speaker:Like I don't feel well, please.
Speaker:Like, um, and then I was in a Shakespeare lecture one day and a mature student or
Speaker:someone that's gone to uni older, um, came up to me and was like, you, that
Speaker:cough has been, I'm a mature student.
Speaker:I used to be a nurse.
Speaker:That cough has been in my ward.
Speaker:You need to go get it checked out.
Speaker:I was like, I keep getting it checked out, but they keep
Speaker:saying it's like freshers flu.
Speaker:She was like, its not freshers flu.
Speaker:You need to get it checked out.
Speaker:So I think that was the thing that pushed me to get in some more
Speaker:tests and then eventually I have all these missed calls being like,
Speaker:You're not well, we need to see you.
Speaker:Well, yeah.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I went yellow.
Speaker:I got a bit of jaundice because the type of glandular fever that I had affected
Speaker:my white blood cells, not my red ones.
Speaker:So I had a bit like my liver was not doing so great.
Speaker:Again, probably as I was drinking loads as well.
Speaker:Like it was a combination of things, but I was a mess and I felt like I look back.
Speaker:And like I was like, wow, I was, I was really quite broken.
Speaker:Like I wanted the best grades.
Speaker:I wanted to please everybody.
Speaker:I just want some sort of, didn't really care about myself.
Speaker:And then this like going into really made me stop a bit and then going.
Speaker:Having Glandular fever made me stop a bit cuz I couldn't actually be at uni.
Speaker:I couldn't be in the lectures that I wanted to be in.
Speaker:And so it was really frustrating time, really difficult time.
Speaker:Went back to Leeds.
Speaker:Um, I was really anxious because my goal was to get a really good grade,
Speaker:but then I couldn't get a really good grade because, I was just really ill,
Speaker:like, I had post viral fatigue, so like, I'd be right in the house sometimes,
Speaker:like, I'd be like, oh, I'm alright.
Speaker:But if I go out, I'd just like be so, so tired and just yeah,
Speaker:just like, just really wiped out.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I had a job as well at the time in, in the shop.
Speaker:Um, and that was really difficult in itself because they gave me sick
Speaker:leave, but then they were like, oh, we shouldn't have given you that.
Speaker:So then I had to work for free.
Speaker:So.
Speaker:Oh wow.
Speaker:I to like work back the hours like, so I was like really sick
Speaker:and yeah, all this was going on.
Speaker:It was a bit of a mess.
Speaker:But in the middle of that, my mom took me to a church service.
Speaker:So at the time God had told her to go to a new church.
Speaker:She used to go to house Church God told her to go to a new church because.
Speaker:But she also had my littlest brother, so this 17 year age gap
Speaker:between me and my littlest brother.
Speaker:Wow.
Speaker:She was going to church with Benjamin, who was a toddler at the time, and I, I don't
Speaker:think I've been at the house in a while and she just kept taking me to her church.
Speaker:And I look back, I'm like, she just kept taking me to her house group,
Speaker:to her church, like, and I remember going to a baptism one day and
Speaker:there was this, there was this girl.
Speaker:And she stood and she's gonna get baptized.
Speaker:And she's like, I love Jesus.
Speaker:I love Jesus, I love Jesus.
Speaker:And then she gets baptized and I'm like, what?
Speaker:Like what is this like, honestly.
Speaker:And then this guy got up and he was sad.
Speaker:He was just like, um, went to uni, um, with my girlfriend.
Speaker:Like, um, made quite a lot of mistakes.
Speaker:Like he was into the partying culture.
Speaker:And then he found God, and like you could tell there was something
Speaker:about his life that was different and I could not get away from that.
Speaker:Like I didn't tell anyone.
Speaker:Yeah, because why would I?
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Like I was like, have this, I'm right.
Speaker:I'm right, I'm all right.
Speaker:Even though I clearly wasn't, and like, so I didn't tell anyone that I
Speaker:was like, Um, thinking about Jesus, I just kind of like kept thinking about
Speaker:Jesus and thinking maybe he's real.
Speaker:How does that change my life?
Speaker:I'm not really sure.
Speaker:And then the church mosaic that my mom went to, um, I found online that they did
Speaker:basically like an alpha course online.
Speaker:It was called Interest.
Speaker:So it was about like six podcasts where it was just them
Speaker:answering questions about Jesus.
Speaker:Um, and I was just secretly listening to it in my university bedroom.
Speaker:Like just would put it on just like, yeah.
Speaker:I didn't want anyone to know.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I was just like secretly listening and then I remember.
Speaker:And the day when I was like, right, I am convinced, convinced,
Speaker:convinced that this is real.
Speaker:And so I, like my university bedroom was locked.
Speaker:I think I saw, you know, was in cinema at the time.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:I remember seeing that.
Speaker:And again, it was just like God was on me.
Speaker:Like I was like, went to see that and I was just like, I'm gonna cry.
Speaker:All this stuff about grace.
Speaker:I was like, oh my goodness, like this is so real.
Speaker:So it goes back to my university room.
Speaker:I'd like knelt down and I just knew that Jesus was there.
Speaker:Like I just knew that he was in front of me.
Speaker:Like I could feel his presence.
Speaker:He was just standing up and I knew he was there.
Speaker:I knew he was in front of me and I had such a like mad encounter with
Speaker:Jesus, like, and had a picture in my head of like this massive gate.
Speaker:I think it was like the gates of heaven just opening and like I just chose to
Speaker:go in and I was just like, yes, God yes.
Speaker:Like, and I remember having another picture of like three girls.
Speaker:Um, and I dunno if that's like, cuz my Nan's Christian and my
Speaker:mom's Christian and I'm Christian.
Speaker:I dunno.
Speaker:Um, but it was just really, really like clear.
Speaker:Like it was just like, it was amazing and like, It was so real to me as well.
Speaker:Like in the middle of it all.
Speaker:I was just like, this is so real.
Speaker:Like, but I was still a mess.
Speaker:I was still anxious.
Speaker:I still was stressing about how I'm gonna pass my like university degree.
Speaker:Didn't know how it changed my life.
Speaker:Didn't understand that bit, right?
Speaker:Just was like, this is mad and it's happening and I'm just gonna go with it.
Speaker:Wow.
Speaker:Yeah, that's, that's quite a, that's quite a fascinating story.
Speaker:There's a lot in there.
Speaker:Beth, I'm really curious.
Speaker:When you were listening to the podcast from the church and you said you were
Speaker:in your room and you were listening to it, you didn't want anybody to know.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Why?
Speaker:Why was that?
Speaker:I dunno.
Speaker:I think maybe, I dunno.
Speaker:I think maybe.
Speaker:I was worried about what they would think of me because that
Speaker:was a thing for me anyway.
Speaker:I was like such a, so wrapped up in people pleasing and this was like
Speaker:me doing what I wanted, you know?
Speaker:This was me choosing my own path and like I'd never really
Speaker:done that until that point.
Speaker:I had in a little bit of ways, you know, like I really like
Speaker:English literature and language and that's what I wanted to study.
Speaker:So, and I loved my degree, but um, I think it was just like the first time
Speaker:where actually I could face loads of rejection, but I wanted it and I wanted
Speaker:to choose my own path in that way.
Speaker:But it was mad.
Speaker:Like I remember I didn't tell my mom and I went to my mom's church
Speaker:around, it was like all January, 2013.
Speaker:But I never remember which bit happened when, um, cause I was still ill, and I
Speaker:was still like struggling with stuff.
Speaker:So about January, 2013, somewhere in this, like I think I had given my life to Jesus
Speaker:and I went to Mosaic, the my mom's church and she, I didn't want anyone to know.
Speaker:Like, I dunno why I'm like, but again, God is so onto me, like he sat me in front
Speaker:of a person that had glandular fever, like get that like had glandular fever,
Speaker:like, and like she had a picture for me of like an iron ironing out a tie and
Speaker:ironing out all the creases in my life.
Speaker:And I was like, ah.
Speaker:And then the service, I don't even know what it was, but I just remember
Speaker:I wanted to cry the whole time.
Speaker:And then my mom was bawling and she told her and she just felt
Speaker:like, she was like, I felt like I.
Speaker:Like those tears for you.
Speaker:Like I had your tears.
Speaker:I felt like God said I had your tears because I was just like, I'm
Speaker:not gonna cry in front of people.
Speaker:Why would I do that?
Speaker:Wow.
Speaker:I was just very like, don't want anyone to know.
Speaker:Wow.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Your mom sounds like an absolute legend in all of this.
Speaker:And, um, you know, go, go Beth Mum, whoohoo?
Speaker:Uh, that's awesome.
Speaker:So, uh, you go to Mosaic.
Speaker:Uh, which is the word you were saying?
Speaker:Mosaic.
Speaker:Mosaic.
Speaker:Oh yeah, mosaic, yeah.
Speaker:Mosaic.
Speaker:Mosaic.
Speaker:The church.
Speaker:And this is a church in Leeds, which is obviously your mum's church.
Speaker:And you, uh, you have more encounters with God.
Speaker:And so at this point you're still struggling with glandular fever.
Speaker:So did that carry on for a while?
Speaker:What happens sort of next?
Speaker:So the person that I told you about who sat in front of me, she was called Laura.
Speaker:She had glandular fever and we just made a friendship and she helped me through.
Speaker:She was like, she just really helped me understand like, okay,
Speaker:this is what if I were you, this is what I do about university, this
Speaker:is what I do about this situation.
Speaker:This is what I do about this situation in relation to glandular Fever.
Speaker:She really helped me like make a plan to get through.
Speaker:Then when I went back to Liverpool, I kind of had that little plan and
Speaker:I was like, I'm gonna find a church.
Speaker:Now I had done some Facebook stalking, so I knew a Christian and um, I also done
Speaker:some Googling cuz Mosaic at the time.
Speaker:So actually it was just the first time I went to Mosaic, it was a big warehouse.
Speaker:Big warehouse church.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:And the.
Speaker:Into 2013, I think that's when they split into three churches.
Speaker:And the one that my mom goes to, still goes to now is in a school.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:But I really liked the kind of big warehouse five.
Speaker:So I did a bit of Googling about, I wanted to go to church like Mosaic, but
Speaker:in Liverpool, it's like my uni story.
Speaker:I love again.
Speaker:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker:Just like Leeds, but in the, yeah.
Speaker:Um, I found Frontline, Frontline Church in Wavertree and, um, because
Speaker:one of my high school friends went there and it was amazing.
Speaker:Like, I remember going there on the morning.
Speaker:I remember the preach like, so I don't remember all the preaches that
Speaker:I went to at the time I was at Mosaic, but I remember going to Frontline.
Speaker:I remember Julie Connolly preaching about spiritual warfare, and
Speaker:it was just like incredible.
Speaker:And I went to the 10:30 service, which is morning service, very friendly
Speaker:And this old man grabbed my shoulder and he was like, come back at 6.
Speaker:I was like, Okay.
Speaker:You'd go to jail for things like that now.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:My housemates knew nothing like I just secretly did all this.
Speaker:Nobody knew anything like, Gets in the taxi again, goes back at six, walks in,
Speaker:and my friend from high school was there.
Speaker:She grabs me on the shoulder.
Speaker:She's like, what are you doing here?
Speaker:And then that was, you know, like I just cried and cried through the whole service.
Speaker:Exactly the same talk Julie did again.
Speaker:And I just cried.
Speaker:I just knew that was her like, like I'd found, like, I was like, I dunno.
Speaker:It was just incredible.
Speaker:I was just like, I'm home.
Speaker:Like this is, this is it.
Speaker:Like, and then after that I started telling people.
Speaker:So how did it go with your housemates and the people that you were trying to
Speaker:hide all of this from when you told them?
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Mixed.
Speaker:Mixed bag.
Speaker:Really mixed bag.
Speaker:Some people were like, what's happened in your life?
Speaker:I want to know.
Speaker:Um, some people were like, this is weird.
Speaker:Don't want to know.
Speaker:Um, Yes.
Speaker:It was a really weird time and I think that time in your life is weird anyway.
Speaker:You know, the last year of uni, who are you gonna keep in touch with?
Speaker:Yeah, like where you gonna live?
Speaker:Because that affects things, doesn't it?
Speaker:Like different people then move to do masters to do, to go back
Speaker:home to their hometown to do gap years like, so it is really that
Speaker:weird time anywhere and I think.
Speaker:Then throwing something like this big life change into it was just a bit
Speaker:like some people didn't wanna know.
Speaker:Um, some people very kindly didn't wanna know, you know, like, kind of
Speaker:like, well that's a bit weird, but yeah.
Speaker:Like, you do you.
Speaker:Leave me out of it.
Speaker:It wasn't like, I'm gonna reject you.
Speaker:It was just you do you, I'm going this way.
Speaker:You're going that way.
Speaker:Bye.
Speaker:We still love each other.
Speaker:Mm-hmm..
Speaker:Like, but yeah, there was a lot, there was a fair amount of
Speaker:like rejection in there though.
Speaker:It wasn't easy.
Speaker:Mm-hmm..
Speaker:But you, you start to then get, um, connected to Frontline Church,
Speaker:which is the church where the Crowd Church is connected to.
Speaker:Actually that came out.
Speaker:Crowd Church came out of Frontline Church and that's where we met, wasn't it?
Speaker:Uh, going like a long, long time ago.
Speaker:So, fast forward, um, however many years it is, what now?
Speaker:Uh, nine years.
Speaker:Um, Has life been all sort of sunshine and rainbows for you?
Speaker:You know, did you get better of grandular fever?
Speaker:You sort of overcome your people approval thing and, and welcome,
Speaker:welcome world, Beth has arrived.
Speaker:No, and that is one of my, you just summarized what my biggest struggle
Speaker:is basically because in my head, that is what is supposed to happen.
Speaker:Like, and so I was a bit like, Hey.
Speaker:What, like life is quite difficult still.
Speaker:And so I think the week after, so I went to Frontline and I think
Speaker:the week after or maybe a couple of weeks after I met, um, my husband,
Speaker:wasn't then my husband obviously.
Speaker:Cause that'd just be really weird if he was here.
Speaker:I met Terry and I also met you and Sharon on the same day and
Speaker:a bunch of other cool people.
Speaker:Um, it was at your house.
Speaker:I think I may have.
Speaker:Oh, it might, it was, yeah, I think it was,
Speaker:yeah, it was the student lunching, wasn't it?
Speaker:The student lunching.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Um, so yeah, so it was in one sentence it was like sunshine and rainbows because
Speaker:like my whole life had changed and me and Terry like met and we quickly got married
Speaker:the year after, but the anxiety didn't go.
Speaker:Like there was a long road to healing with the grandular fever.
Speaker:I didn't get instantly healed.
Speaker:Um, and then I've had other underlying illnesses since, which like, yeah,
Speaker:that's been a big challenge, kind of understanding like why would
Speaker:a good God let someone suffer?
Speaker:That's been a big question.
Speaker:Why don't my prayers get answered when I'm praying to be healed?
Speaker:That's been a big question.
Speaker:Um, I had Joy, my first, um, my first born in May, 2019.
Speaker:And I pray again, like I expect things to be like sunshine and rainbows.
Speaker:Like I prayed for this amazing birth.
Speaker:Like I got this book that like was all about praying for this amazing birth
Speaker:and it kind of messed me up a bit cause.
Speaker:Really, like Jesus promises suffering.
Speaker:Like he says.
Speaker:Um, what does he say?
Speaker:In this world you will have trouble and persecution,
Speaker:in this world you will suffer.
Speaker:But, uh, like take heart I have overcome the world, you will have trouble, but
Speaker:take heart I have overcome the world.
Speaker:Um, and yeah, like I think it's been just quite a journey of like.
Speaker:I prayed, like with the birth, I prayed for this amazing birth.
Speaker:It didn't happen.
Speaker:It was actually really traumatic and I really struggled to
Speaker:get my head around that.
Speaker:And I felt like I'd failed.
Speaker:I felt like my faith had failed.
Speaker:I felt like I didn't have enough faith, cuz the book that I read
Speaker:kind of implied that it was my faith that didn't make it happen.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Um, and so yeah, I was just kinda like, oh, it's my fault.
Speaker:I don't have enough faith and just that, that whole struggle of like,
Speaker:what do you do when there's suffering?
Speaker:Um, what do you do when things don't go, when things aren't sunshine and
Speaker:rainbows, when things don't go to plan.
Speaker:So yeah.
Speaker:That's a really, it's a really interesting statement because I, I've not seen it
Speaker:as much in recent times, but suddenly there was a period where there was this
Speaker:sort of movement which said, if you have faith, you can move mountains,
Speaker:which is, you know, very, I, I get the scriptural reference for that.
Speaker:But it, it became this thing where actually if you wanted anything from
Speaker:God, it was all down to your faith.
Speaker:And if you didn't have faith, you wouldn't get it.
Speaker:And if you weren't getting it, therefore it was because you had weak faith.
Speaker:And whilst that was never said, uh, it was, it.
Speaker:It was implied, it was implicit in the statement that if you have
Speaker:faith, you can move mountains and you reverse engineer that.
Speaker:You say, well, if the mountains not moving, then I've not got faith.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Uh, and it was a really interesting time, I think, for people, because I think there
Speaker:are times where actually people's own belief does prevent the movement of God.
Speaker:But I, I think they're, they're a lot rarer than we think
Speaker:they are in, in a lot of ways.
Speaker:Do you know what I mean, and so I'm curious.
Speaker:Um, having, you've obviously haven't, uh, gone through that.
Speaker:What, what are some of the lessons that you've learned as a result of that?
Speaker:Oh, I don't even know where to start.
Speaker:So if you read my blogs, like, I've blogged through the whole
Speaker:thing and there's a lot of different lessons on there cuz.
Speaker:Yeah, my head was a mess.
Speaker:I was just like, oh, I need to sort this out cuz I didn't understand it.
Speaker:Like I was just like, I prayed for this thing to happen.
Speaker:Um, but you know what, it is, the biggest lesson I've
Speaker:learned actually has come to me.
Speaker:So I am a feeling person and you know, like I explain what happened in my
Speaker:testimony, like God speaks to me like very clearly through pictures and very
Speaker:clearly through, like I can hear him, I can feel him like his presence, like
Speaker:that's important to me and that's a gift.
Speaker:But like for me, I felt like I'd failed when I had a traumatic birth.
Speaker:I felt like my faith had failed, that it wasn't good enough that like, and it was
Speaker:a feeling of like feeling that I'd failed, feeling like it wasn't good enough feel.
Speaker:And like, I think one of the biggest lessons I've learned is
Speaker:like, know your Bible because some, some lies will feel so, so true.
Speaker:Like some lies will be so crafty.
Speaker:Like the enemy is quite crafty.
Speaker:Mm-hmm..
Speaker:It, it kind of bases it on truth, but then he, obviously it's not true and
Speaker:I feel like I've been so susceptible.
Speaker:Is that a word?
Speaker:Yeah, it's a good word.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:You should know you've got the English language, don't you?
Speaker:You crack on.
Speaker:Susceptible to that.
Speaker:Yeah, because I feel like it was just, you know, like this little, you don't,
Speaker:you didn't have enough faith for that.
Speaker:Like so and so has enough faith for that.
Speaker:You don't have enough faith for that.
Speaker:Like, and it was just, it felt true.
Speaker:It felt real, but.
Speaker:Now, and it sometimes it still feels real and have to tell myself that's not
Speaker:true, Beth, that like, that's not true.
Speaker:Like I know that faith like as small as a mustard seed can move mountains.
Speaker:Also the parable that kept coming to my head throughout this whole time was
Speaker:the one where, um, the, they, so some pals have got a friend who needs healing
Speaker:and they cut the roof open to get him in front of Jesus and they put him in.
Speaker:This is, you know, the Bible by Beth here.
Speaker:Bible with Yorkshire accents.
Speaker:That's great.
Speaker:I'm loving it.
Speaker:I'm loving it.
Speaker:You keep going.
Speaker:Its a bit different in the Bible.
Speaker:This,
Speaker:I wonder, actually, just as a total aside here, I do wonder if there is
Speaker:a Yorkshire version of the Bible.
Speaker:I've seen the Scouse Bible.
Speaker:I'm gonna, I'm gonna Google it later.
Speaker:Is there a Yorkshire version of the Bible coz it'll be brilliant.
Speaker:I read an excellent book.
Speaker:On my dad's bookshelf, there was an excellent book about Yorkshire people
Speaker:who had faith and like, honestly, the first page was brilliant.
Speaker:It was like, Yorkshire people have grit.
Speaker:And here I love this book.
Speaker:That's true.
Speaker:Here's a bunch of Christian people with grits.
Speaker:Yeah, very true.
Speaker:But yeah.
Speaker:Anyway, so in the, in the, in the, going back to the Bible, so
Speaker:there's a couple of guys, they've got the pal who needs healing.
Speaker:He's paralyzed man.
Speaker:Put him down through the roof.
Speaker:Jesus is there and Jesus heals him and he forgives his sin as well.
Speaker:Um, I think the other way around.
Speaker:But he looks at their friends and he said, it's your friends faith.
Speaker:Like that's healed you or that's I really could do with this in front of me.
Speaker:I feel like I'm absolutely ruining this.
Speaker:Sorry.
Speaker:Like, but he talks about their friends faith.
Speaker:And I kept coming back to that cause I was like, my friends were
Speaker:praying for me that whole time.
Speaker:You know, like even if I don't have enough faith, I've got like
Speaker:so many friends praying for me that have got more faith than I do.
Speaker:You know, they've got the mustard seed's worth.
Speaker:But it didn't happen.
Speaker:And it's because I think, you know, like we live in a fallen world.
Speaker:One day there will be no sickness.
Speaker:Like, and one day Jesus will wipe away every tear.
Speaker:Um, but like here it's not like that.
Speaker:Mm-hmm.
Speaker:And like, I think going through what I've been through has definitely has made me
Speaker:clinging to God in a way that I think just yesterday, like I did a preach at church.
Speaker:Okay.
Speaker:I was walking, like I then, I then went to do some work and at a coffee shop, and I
Speaker:was walking home and I was just thinking about the preach and I was thinking that
Speaker:was mad, like God used my most painful moments to reach someone else there.
Speaker:You know, like, you know, you just like, He makes everything
Speaker:work together for good.
Speaker:And it's such a privilege to watch him do that in your life like, and you don't
Speaker:think that that's ever gonna be the case when you're in those painful moments when
Speaker:you're like dealing with trauma and you're like, but I didn't pray for this God.
Speaker:But then, If you let him in, like if you let him, he will just turn the whole thing
Speaker:around and like, it is amazing to watch.
Speaker:You know, like, like yesterday, like I didn't even feel like I
Speaker:was really speaking, like I was dead nervous about preaching.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:And I just shared these stories from, from really like, the moments
Speaker:where I was like, God, where are you?
Speaker:What have you done?
Speaker:Like have you left me?
Speaker:Like it says you'll heal.
Speaker:Like I've surely I've got faith as a mustard seed.
Speaker:Surely my friends have got faith as small as mustard seed.
Speaker:And like I was able to share those stories with people and watch those people
Speaker:know more about a God who loves them.
Speaker:And it was just incredible.
Speaker:Like yeah.
Speaker:And someone gave me that verse.
Speaker:Before I went into be Induced with my, with Joy, my first one.
Speaker:So I went in for an induction and um, I was really scared and someone
Speaker:gave me the verse all things worked together for good for um, those who
Speaker:love God and I didn't get it then.
Speaker:And like, but that has just been my testimony, you know, like he's taken
Speaker:like the darkest moments, the worst moments, the most painful moments.
Speaker:And like, I just keep watching him like as he turns it around, like he's amazing.
Speaker:Beth, that's awesome.
Speaker:I, it's, I mean, it's not awesome in, in one sense that you've had to
Speaker:go through what you've gone through, but it, I think the, the thing that
Speaker:I've always loved about you, um, is your absolute commitment to be totally
Speaker:transparent, true, and authentic.
Speaker:Right?
Speaker:You always know exactly where you're at because when you say how you're doing,
Speaker:you'll say, oh, I'm blah, blah, blah.
Speaker:Right?
Speaker:, and I think, um, it's, it's interesting because part of me, part of the problem
Speaker:I think people have had over the years is you go to church and church people feel
Speaker:like they have to say, oh, life is good.
Speaker:At least it was for a season.
Speaker:Do you know what I mean?
Speaker:Because it's like, well, faith talks positive, doesn't it?
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:And so they, you'd ask them questions.
Speaker:Life is good.
Speaker:And so if you were struggling, you could look at somebody and
Speaker:go, well, their life is good.
Speaker:My life is pants.
Speaker:Why?
Speaker:Why am I struggling?
Speaker:Of course, they're asking the same question over there.
Speaker:And it's all masks.
Speaker:There's, there's a lot of masks going on.
Speaker:There's, there's not a lot of authenticity sometimes that I'm being totally
Speaker:disparaging about the church, but it is, we have had these seasons where we
Speaker:have been, uh, too unwilling to actually be truthful, uh, about how we feel
Speaker:and the questions that we have for God because we feel like we can't have them.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Um, and so it's great that you did, uh, and it's great that you've sort
Speaker:of wrestled with that over the years.
Speaker:So where are, where are things at now?
Speaker:Right?
Speaker:So you going back to the sort of the supernatural childbirth thing that
Speaker:you were praying for and it didn't happen and that sort of, you know,
Speaker:you felt like you failed God and you felt like your faith failed.
Speaker:When did that turn around in your thinking and how did it
Speaker:turn around in your thinking?
Speaker:Um, well I owe a lot to your wife.
Speaker:Your wonderful wife, Sharon.
Speaker:Um, I remember.
Speaker:So I, I wrestled with God a lot by myself and was like, what have you done?
Speaker:But also I had a newborn baby and I have to say that, um, the trauma was
Speaker:traumatic, but then having Joy meant that I was able to focus on Joy.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:So I had this moment in the bathroom after it happened where I genuinely
Speaker:just thought, oh my goodness, you idiot.
Speaker:You failed.
Speaker:Like you nearly killed your baby.
Speaker:Cuz, cuz you, you didn't let them intervene sooner.
Speaker:And you wanted this supernatural childbirth that like, and I
Speaker:just felt all this condemnation.
Speaker:Like I remember standing in the bathroom, all this condemnation, you didn't have its
Speaker:not fair that you nearly let this happen.
Speaker:What?
Speaker:Like, but then I had to cry about it and then I just cracked on being a
Speaker:mom, cuz I absolutely love my daughter.
Speaker:And she just brought so much joy to me.
Speaker:She really like, I loved it.
Speaker:I absolutely loved it.
Speaker:Like, But then lockdown happened in 2020, so she was probably
Speaker:about 10 months, I think.
Speaker:Yeah, 10 months.
Speaker:And then that's when I really wrestled it out and I was like, what is going on?
Speaker:And then I got pregnant in 2020.
Speaker:Yeah, I got pregnant in 2020 with my second, and I start
Speaker:again, anxiety attacks and I was.
Speaker:what is going on?
Speaker:And I was like, I think I need to deal with this.
Speaker:Like I need to deal with this trauma.
Speaker:Like
Speaker:there was some clues along the way.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I know one thing that I did all the time, so I know a lot about trauma
Speaker:now, but one thing I did all the time was I was talk about birth.
Speaker:Like I would just talk about birth that whole year.
Speaker:Mm-hmm.
Speaker:and ask people how the births were.
Speaker:I was quite obsessed with it.
Speaker:And I look back and that is actually called, is it ruminating?
Speaker:So when you, when you talk about and you can't get past it, that's
Speaker:actually like, um, a symptom.
Speaker:PTSD of trauma.
Speaker:So, and then I started getting panic attacks cause I was
Speaker:pregnant and it got to 2021.
Speaker:I was like, I'm gonna give birth to this child in April and how am I gonna do that?
Speaker:And I remember going to meet a friend who had two kids and
Speaker:she had two amazing births.
Speaker:And I just had this like little panic, panic attack and I was
Speaker:like, I need to get over this.
Speaker:I need to do something.
Speaker:So then I rang up, um, talking to Sharon at the time and
Speaker:that was very, very helpful.
Speaker:Like, um, incredible.
Speaker:And then a couple of people had mentioned to me, um, that there
Speaker:was this person called Hannah Sloan who went to Frontline and um, I
Speaker:should really get in touch with her.
Speaker:She does birth trauma therapy and she's Christian.
Speaker:So I rang her up and I was like, Hannah, this is what's happened to me.
Speaker:Told her about all the the, the feeling like I didn't have enough
Speaker:faith for this perfect birth, feeling like, you know, like it was my fault.
Speaker:And she was like, right, okay.
Speaker:Like, come see me.
Speaker:So I did five sessions with her and it was incredible.
Speaker:Like it was really good.
Speaker:Like just understanding how trauma works.
Speaker:I think sometimes as Christians like.
Speaker:We don't go down, we stay too much down the non-medical route.
Speaker:You know, like where Hannah was actually like, what's happened to you is a thing.
Speaker:It's called ptsd, like, and these are the symptoms.
Speaker:And I was like, oh wow, I have those symptoms.
Speaker:She was like, yeah, like I think you've got it.
Speaker:You know, like, and like I think as Christian sometimes we think
Speaker:we're immune to these things, like it's just a spiritual thing that
Speaker:we're going through or whatever.
Speaker:But actually, like I had PTSD and yeah, like within those five sessions,
Speaker:the main symptoms were no more.
Speaker:Um, and it was just the thing that was left with was just like me and God
Speaker:working that bit out, you know, like.
Speaker:So, where do we go from here?
Speaker:God, like, because I couldn't, I wasn't really praying around a lot
Speaker:when Joy, from when Joy was born.
Speaker:I remember actually talking to my pastor and being like,
Speaker:I'm not praying around a lot.
Speaker:Like I can't.
Speaker:And I didn't really, again, I didn't really put it all down to the trauma, but,
Speaker:um, but yeah, it kind of worked itself out getting, I got some, I got some therapy.
Speaker:Spoke a lot to Sharon, like weekly I think.
Speaker:And um, just had, yeah, some support and yeah, just kind of
Speaker:watched through that and was, was just God questions all the time.
Speaker:Um, and yeah, like yeah, I think I've come out of it like the other end, I feel.
Speaker:So what happened was all this, oh, Judah Judah.
Speaker:Yeah, I was gonna say, cause you obviously had a second
Speaker:child, so how did that birth go?
Speaker:So I got to a place where I think this is what, this is what happened.
Speaker:I got to a place where in the last session Hannah was like, what do you wanna do?
Speaker:So we planned for each eventuality of giving birth, like, and I got
Speaker:a debrief as well with my midwife.
Speaker:Um, and she was literally like, Beth, you did amazing.
Speaker:You like went to nine centimeters with no, with like, no, I
Speaker:dunno, medication or whatever.
Speaker:Just guessing.
Speaker:Um, and the baby was stuck.
Speaker:Your baby was back to back and apparently back to back babies are more painful.
Speaker:But she didn't move.
Speaker:She literally didn't move.
Speaker:And on my notes that there's a picture of her head as soon as like she, the
Speaker:midwife had drawn her head as soon as I'd gone in because they suspected
Speaker:that she was in a funny position and.
Speaker:That was like, as soon as I went in, she never moved like.
Speaker:So, you know, when you just like look back and you just like, she
Speaker:wasn't gonna move, she wasn't ever, you know, like she was stuck.
Speaker:Like, of course I was gonna end up in a c-section.
Speaker:Like, um, but, and so that gave me clarity and then speaking
Speaker:to Hannah really helped me.
Speaker:We had like, this is what happened, this, so we had loads of different options
Speaker:and I decided to try for a V back.
Speaker:So a natural birth after, um, ceasarean.
Speaker:I hate the word natural, but like, yeah, that's what we're going with.
Speaker:So I was like, I'm gonna try for that.
Speaker:And it was just really, I got to a place where even if I had another C-section,
Speaker:like I knew that that was okay.
Speaker:I knew that God still loved me.
Speaker:I knew it was alright.
Speaker:And the birth with Judah was incredible.
Speaker:It was really redemptive actually, because, um, I went into labor naturally.
Speaker:I didn't have to get induced at 39 weeks, 39 plus three or something, and.
Speaker:And it was funny because no one else expected me to and like,
Speaker:so I was like, I think I had a bit of faith then like for this.
Speaker:And I was like, God, I really like that.
Speaker:But you know, like I've got to a place where anything could happen
Speaker:and I still love you and I know you still love and be with me regardless.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Um, and I was told that I was having a girl as well, so I
Speaker:was expecting another girl.
Speaker:And um, so then the labor happens naturally this time and then,
Speaker:Everyone like left me, like Kat was supposed to be looking after Joy.
Speaker:She was somewhere.
Speaker:And then Kat's like my best friend and, and then Terry was like, I need
Speaker:to go to work if this is gonna happen.
Speaker:Oh.
Speaker:Just watching Prince Philip's funeral.
Speaker:And then I was like, right, okay.
Speaker:So waited for them to get back, and then I was like, should we go to hospital now?
Speaker:So then went to hospital.
Speaker:I was dehydrated because no one had been feeding me or giving me any drink.
Speaker:Like I was just random by myself.
Speaker:And then when I drank, just basically, it was just really surreal.
Speaker:It was really calm.
Speaker:Really quiet on the ward.
Speaker:There was one midwife who didn't say a right lot to me, and then all of a
Speaker:sudden she goes about nine o'clock.
Speaker:She was like, I think you'll have this baby.
Speaker:Nine o'clock on Sunday morning.
Speaker:She was like, I think you'll have this baby within the hour.
Speaker:And I could not believe it.
Speaker:Like I remember sitting down.
Speaker:And saying to God, God, I dunno what's gonna happen.
Speaker:I dunno if I'm progressing.
Speaker:I dunno what's happening.
Speaker:I'm really anxious.
Speaker:I'm really stressed right now.
Speaker:Please help me.
Speaker:And like it's gonna be okay.
Speaker:Like you're gonna have this baby, it's gonna be okay.
Speaker:Like, and it was just amazing.
Speaker:It was just, I think, you know, like people want you to think that.
Speaker:Like, um, you can have this terrible birth and then you can have this
Speaker:amazing butterfly birth after it if you go through a B, c, D experience.
Speaker:But I did the therapy, I did the praying like, and it wasn't butterflies, but
Speaker:God was so real and he was so there.
Speaker:Like, and Judah popped out and everyone thought, I remember the midwife being
Speaker:like, oh, I've got something to show you.
Speaker:Cause he was a boy and they had told me, it was a girl?
Speaker:Surprise.
Speaker:I didn't care.
Speaker:I literally didn't care.
Speaker:I was given the name Judah in the first trimester.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:I felt God for that name on my heart.
Speaker:Cause I was watching a preach by Judah Smith and he was saying about, How Leah
Speaker:in the Bible, um, was in this battle with her sister, like comparison war.
Speaker:And then by baby number four, she gives up and she says, Now I'm gonna praise God.
Speaker:And I think I was in that place.
Speaker:I was like, do you know what?
Speaker:I'm not battling anymore.
Speaker:I don't care if faith or no faith or whatever, if that person over there is
Speaker:having hypno birth, or if that person over there is having supernatural
Speaker:childbirth, like I will praise God.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:And like.
Speaker:There's a song called Yes, I Will, by Vertical Worship, I think.
Speaker:And that song was just like the song of Judah.
Speaker:Like it was just, yes, I will lift you high in the lowest valley.
Speaker:Like, yes, I'm gonna do this.
Speaker:Like I'm gonna praise you no matter what happens.
Speaker:Um, and it was different kind of faith because, I dunno, it's just, Is more
Speaker:grit like, like the Yorkshire book.
Speaker:More grit.
Speaker:Yorkshire.
Speaker:Jesus was the yorkshireman is is what they tell me.
Speaker:Probably was, wasn't he?
Speaker:It was.
Speaker:So, um, well, I, this, I love that, that it was redemptive and that
Speaker:actually in the second child, it's one of those things, isn't it?
Speaker:As a Christian, you pray for God's, uh, blessing and you pray
Speaker:for what you think is the best.
Speaker:Um, and when that doesn't happen, how you respond is quite interesting.
Speaker:Um, and I love the difference between the first one and the second one.
Speaker:So the first one, you pray for something and you feel all
Speaker:kinds of failure as a result.
Speaker:The second time it's like, well, I'm gonna pray for this, but I don't know
Speaker:what's gonna happen, but I'm gonna praise you anyway, uh, because God,
Speaker:I'm in your hands and actually, That's quite an extraordinary journey to take.
Speaker:It takes people years sometimes to Do you know what I mean to sort of figure
Speaker:that whole thing out, uh, as a Christian.
Speaker:So what's your, um, out of all of this then, Beth, you know,
Speaker:um, what's your, what's been your takeaway, what's your one message?
Speaker:I mean, you spoke at church yesterday.
Speaker:Um, I, I dunno if they gave you a topic or whether you sat down
Speaker:and thought, oh, this will be the, you know, what I would talk about?
Speaker:What's the, the thing, the overriding thing that God has taught you?
Speaker:Oh gosh.
Speaker:I think, yeah, like some of the stuff that I've been talking about, really just
Speaker:like, I think it, do you know what it is?
Speaker:Like my blog is a lot about hearing God and like, you know, stay close to him.
Speaker:Hear him, like listen to what he's got to say to you.
Speaker:Like he is the best friend you could ever, ever, ever, ever wish for.
Speaker:You know, like he's always been there.
Speaker:He's always got something to say to me about everything and the points
Speaker:that I struggled is the points where I've like, pushed him out a bit
Speaker:and like kept him at arms length.
Speaker:Like, but actually, you know, like he, he understood like he, he understood
Speaker:that I was upset about the birth trauma.
Speaker:He knew I was going through what I needed.
Speaker:Like, um, and I think hearing God for yourself and, um, yeah, knowing your Bible
Speaker:and like not going with those feelings and not going with what other people tell.
Speaker:But just having your own faith and walking that journey with God is
Speaker:like, so, so like, so, so important.
Speaker:I, I love to, I love to hear people like get God for themselves, you know,
Speaker:like, oh, hear him for themselves.
Speaker:Like, um, yeah, I think it's, yeah, really like, crucial.
Speaker:That's awesome.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:So is that, if you could somehow magically, uh, go back in time and have
Speaker:a conversation with yourself as you are heading into hospital with, um, to give
Speaker:birth to Joy, is that the advice that you would give to yourself at that point?
Speaker:Yeah, I'd just be like, Beth, like, be careful what you believe.
Speaker:Like stick close to God.
Speaker:Stay close to God.
Speaker:Like, and don't, don't read a book about God and think it's God.
Speaker:Like you.
Speaker:You know, like mm-hmm..
Speaker:There's loads of books out there that say they're about God and maybe.
Speaker:They're about one person's version of God.
Speaker:Like who's your God?
Speaker:Who is your God?
Speaker:Mm-hmm.
Speaker:stand close to him because the God of the Bible, like the God that
Speaker:you, that I met when I was in that room in university, like he's the
Speaker:one that's been faithful to me.
Speaker:And I think it's so important to have your own faith and to not get
Speaker:stuck in a bit of a comparison and not just absorb everything you read.
Speaker:I think I'm a bit easily influenced sometimes.
Speaker:It's, well, it's, and it's not just you to me, I think, here's
Speaker:the thing about books, right?
Speaker:And the thing that I've noticed about books when you read them is especially
Speaker:Christian books or testimonial books as we like to call, but story
Speaker:books, they're always inspiring.
Speaker:Because they, there's these amazing stories, amazing journeys that people
Speaker:go on and you, and they talk about why God did this and this breakthrough
Speaker:happened and that happened and it's all fantastic and wonderful.
Speaker:Um, but between those two mountain points, you know, this happened.
Speaker:It was amazing.
Speaker:This happened.
Speaker:It was amazing.
Speaker:There's often big valleys.
Speaker:And times of just utter boredom.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:Do, you know what I mean and it's just the everyday grind of life, but
Speaker:you don't write about those in books because there's not enough space.
Speaker:You dunno what to say.
Speaker:You just want to tell the stories to encourage people and it's like,
Speaker:well, yes, this is my story, you know, and I wanna encourage you.
Speaker:Um, it's why we do these podcasts, but it's the rest of it, you know,
Speaker:that we don't get to hear about.
Speaker:And when we just compare our lives where 80% of it's boring, 80% of it
Speaker:is routine, you know, to all these amazing stories that people have over
Speaker:here, we can come across or come, you know, some come off feeling quite bad.
Speaker:And that's the danger of books.
Speaker:Uh, and, and I think as long as when we read a book, we
Speaker:understand that we're okay.
Speaker:And when you say, what is God saying to me throughout this whole
Speaker:thing, is, is probably the bit the biggest question to ask right?
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:That
Speaker:is the biggest, and that is the question I asked before I blog up all the time.
Speaker:I'm like, God, what are you saying to me this week?
Speaker:And I think if, if I could inspire people to say that question for
Speaker:themselves, like, that is what I want.
Speaker:That's who I wanna be, that's what I want.
Speaker:The message I wanna say like, because I think that yeah, if, if you know him as
Speaker:your friend, like, like that is one of the biggest things that changed my life.
Speaker:You know, just knowing him as a friend.
Speaker:Like, and if when you are reading a book, you know, Ask him what he thinks about it.
Speaker:Don't just read it and be like, even if it's a really good book and like, you
Speaker:know, like the person is sound and they've got really good theology, like still
Speaker:ask him what he thinks about it because that makes stuff go from just reading
Speaker:it to actually being like, oh, I'm gonna like, yeah, understand it for myself.
Speaker:I'm gonna like, Let it go in for myself.
Speaker:Mm.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:What does this mean for me?
Speaker:What are you saying to me?
Speaker:It's a really, it's a really interesting thing.
Speaker:I wish I had time to get into it a little bit more, but there's
Speaker:so much more to say on this.
Speaker:Um, Beth question for you.
Speaker:Oh, someone's at the door.
Speaker:Uh, imagine you are at the Oscars, right?
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:And you've just won your, your lifetime achievement award or whatever it is,
Speaker:and you get a moment to thank those folks that have had a big impact on your
Speaker:life, whether family members, mentors, preachers, books, whatever it is.
Speaker:I'm curious, who are you thanking?
Speaker:Who are you who you stood up and saying, I want to thank dot, dot, dot and why?
Speaker:Well, I think I've mentioned a few of them haven't I?
Speaker:Like, so obviously praying mom's out there, like my story started with
Speaker:a praying mom, so don't give up.
Speaker:Like, my mom is amazing.
Speaker:My dad became Christian when, soon after I did.
Speaker:Um, he's, he's always been amazing.
Speaker:Um, but you know, like you and Sharon like.
Speaker:You and Sharon.
Speaker:Absolutely.
Speaker:Like I was thinking about this recently.
Speaker:Like you literally like, I dunno, anyone, I remember being in your house,
Speaker:Matt, and like you just let me be like.
Speaker:And I didn't really know who I was.
Speaker:I was messed, I was messed up, I was broken, I was lost.
Speaker:And like, you didn't need anything from me.
Speaker:You didn't want anything from me.
Speaker:Like you, you guys just loved me and like, I've never experienced
Speaker:anything like it in my life.
Speaker:And you have been there since.
Speaker:I feel like I could cry, since day one.
Speaker:And like you've never given up on me or Terry.
Speaker:Like you've, you've never, you've always loved us.
Speaker:You've always.
Speaker:Sharon is such grace, and like sometimes you show me grace and I'm
Speaker:like, that's literally mind blowing.
Speaker:Like, like Terry, look what's just happened.
Speaker:Like, oh look what Matt's just said.
Speaker:Like, oh look what, listen to what Sharon did today or like, you know,
Speaker:like, and I think, yeah, you'd get a massive thank you both of you.
Speaker:You, you have changed our lives.
Speaker:And I'm not just saying that cuz, cuz you do this podcast like.
Speaker:Cause you're the podcast host.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:No, appreciate, uh, Beth, bless you.
Speaker:No, it's wonderful.
Speaker:It's very kind of you to say.
Speaker:Yeah, it's true.
Speaker:But yeah, and then there's lots of other people on the way, isn't it?
Speaker:Like community, community is very important.
Speaker:and I'm very, very fortunate to be part of a really good community.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:And your husband obviously.
Speaker:Yeah.
Speaker:And your kids.
Speaker:You're the usual.
Speaker:Oh, that's so bad.
Speaker:Don't believe you'd do this.
Speaker:No, he's never gonna let you live it down.
Speaker:No, he is not.
Speaker:He actually won't let me live it down.
Speaker:He's just gonna be like, um, can't believe you didn't thank me on the podcast.
Speaker:Well, now's your time to say, you know, that you actually, you.
Speaker:Thank you so much, Terry, for being with me through thick and thin.
Speaker:Yeah, they, I think me and Terry have been on like quite a journey
Speaker:where we've been through stuff together, so, um, yeah, like.
Speaker:It's a different kind of Thank you, isn't it?
Speaker:Like, obviously it's still a thank you, but like
Speaker:Yeah, it's, it's your life partner, isn't it?
Speaker:And I think you and Terry are just wonderful people.
Speaker:Uh, and, um, it's, it's great to have you on the podcast.
Speaker:So thank you for joining us, Beth.
Speaker:Thank you for sharing your story.
Speaker:If people wanna reach out, if people wanna connect with you,
Speaker:what's the best way to do that?
Speaker:Um, well, you can read all of what I've just said on my blog, bethcoppenhall.com.
Speaker:You can read some moments of being like, why God?
Speaker:And also some moments of being like, wow, God did this amazing thing, and I think
Speaker:you can contact me on there as well.
Speaker:Yeah, no, bethcoppenhall.com.
Speaker:Do
Speaker:check it out.
Speaker:Uh, very inspiring blog.
Speaker:And it is, you kinda, you do get sucked into the emotion, uh, of it all bit.
Speaker:Beth is a very good writer.
Speaker:So, uh, yes, Beth, thank you so much for joining us.
Speaker:You've been an absolute legend.
Speaker:Uh, I'm looking forward to seeing what people say as a result of this
Speaker:coming out and, um, who listens to it.
Speaker:So, uh, we will of course, uh, link to Beth's info in the show
Speaker:notes, which you can get for free, along with the transcript, uh, at
Speaker:Crowd.Church, www.crowd.church.
Speaker:Uh, or if you sign up to the newsletter, it will come direct to your inbox.
Speaker:If you're not signed up to the newsletter, sign up to the newsletter.
Speaker:Hashtag the same.
Speaker:Uh, so there you have it.
Speaker:Another fantastic conversation.
Speaker:Another huge brilliant, wonderful story.
Speaker:Uh, Beth, again, thank you for joining me.
Speaker:Now remember to check out Crowd online church at www.crowd.church,
Speaker:you know the domain.
Speaker:Now, uh, even if you might not see the point of church, Crowd is a
Speaker:digital church, an online church on a quest to discover how Jesus helps
Speaker:us live a more meaningful life.
Speaker:Uh, we are a community, a space to explore the Christian faith and a place
Speaker:where you can contribute and grow.
Speaker:And you are welcome at Crowd Church, be sure to subscribe to what's
Speaker:the story wherever you get your podcast from, because we've got
Speaker:some great stories lined up and I do not want you to miss any of them.
Speaker:And in case no one has told you yet today, dear listener viewer, you are awesome.
Speaker:Yes you are.
Speaker:It's just a burden you have to bear.
Speaker:Uh, Beth has to bear it.
Speaker:I have to bear it.
Speaker:We're just awesome.
Speaker:It's the way God made us fearfully and wonderfully made.
Speaker:Now what's The story is produced by Crowd Online Church.
Speaker:You can find our entire archive of episodes on your favorite podcast app.
Speaker:The team that makes this show possible is, Sadaf Beynon, Josh Catchpole,
Speaker:Estella Robin and Tim Johnson.
Speaker:Our theme song was written by the amazingly talented Josh Edmundson,
Speaker:and if you would like to read the transcript or show notes, as I said,
Speaker:head over to www.crowd.church where you can also sign up for our weekly
Speaker:newsletter and get all of this good stuff direct your inbox totally for free.
Speaker:That's it from me.
Speaker:That's it from Beth.
Speaker:Thank you so much for joining us.
Speaker:Have a fantastic week.