Episode summary introduction:

The primary focus of this episode revolves around the contentious notion of work-life balance, which we contend is an oversimplified and ultimately misleading concept. We assert that the relationship between work and life is not merely a balancing act but rather an intricate interplay of intertwined responsibilities and aspirations. 

TC & Maddog delve into the implications of an overly simplistic view of balance, suggesting that striving for equilibrium between professional obligations and personal life may lead to dissatisfaction and emotional detachment from both spheres. 

This is supported by a Gallup report indicating that a significant percentage of individuals experience emotional disconnection in their workplaces, positing that this detachment underscores a systemic issue in how we perceive and manage our dual roles. 

Ultimately, there needs to be a paradigm shift towards integration, urging listeners to embrace a more holistic approach that acknowledges the complexities of their lives, thus fostering environments where individuals can genuinely thrive.

Topics discussed in this episode:

Engaging with the theme of life-work balance, TC & Maddog talk about the complexities that arise when individuals attempt to navigate the dichotomy of professional responsibilities and personal fulfillment. 

The traditional narrative suggests a simplistic balance, yet our discourse reveals the inadequacy of such a view. We highlight that work and life are not mutually exclusive; rather, they coexist and influence one another in profound ways. 

There is reflection on personal anecdotes and societal expectations.  The reality that many individuals, particularly those in high-pressure roles, may sacrifice their well-being in pursuit of an artificial balance. 

Our exploration is underscored by the recognition that emotional intelligence within the workplace plays a pivotal role in shaping employee satisfaction. 

By fostering a culture of empathy and support, organizations can mitigate feelings of detachment and burnout, thereby enhancing overall productivity. 

The conversation culminates in a call to action: to abandon the myth of balance in favor of an integrated approach that prioritizes holistic well-being and acknowledges the intricate relationship between work and life.

Walkabout takeaways:

• The concept of work-life balance is often a simplistic view of a complex reality.
• Work and life are not separate entities, but rather they are deeply intertwined aspects of existence.
• A Gallup report indicates alarming levels of emotional detachment among employees at work.
• Striving for balance between work and life may lead to unrealistic expectations and burnout.
• To enhance employee satisfaction, companies should foster an environment that supports the whole person.
• A shift from balance to integration allows individuals to manage both work and life more effectively.

More about E-Walkabout:

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The Electronic Walkabout welcome to another exciting episode of Electronic Walkabout. During this episode, exploring whether life work balance is no more than an urban myth.

For years we have heard of the importance of having a proper life work balance. But information is coming to life that suggests a more realistic approach should be considered.

The idea of balance itself became an oversimplified solution to a complex problem. It suggests the relationship between work and life as if they were two opposing forces that need to be balanced on a scale.

In reality, work and life are not distinct entities. They are deeply intertwined.

The idea of balance implies that we can evenly distribute our energy and attention between work and life, leading to a perfect state of equilibrium.

Well, that went in a different direction than I thought it was going to go.

Wow. And it's gonna get better. Okay, but before we get into it, a thought for the day. Work gives us a sense of purpose.

Call it practice to find your sense of purpose in life.

I like that.

And how are you doing this fine day?

Doing very well, sir.

How are you? I think I'm okay. I spent the weekend in beautiful downtown Vancouver with my son and we partook in watching the world Rugby Sevens.

Oh wow.

Three day event. Some of your world class rugby players, both men and women. And the rugby was just fantastic.

That's great. You know, I have never in my life been to a rugby match.

Never Ever?

Never? Never. Not for any reason than just it wasn't in my circle. But I know quite a few people.

I know some South Africans and stuff that played and they're a crazy bunch. So I stay with.

My brother and I played rugby together like, like, I hate to say this, well over 30 years ago, but I got, I got that bug while I was in high school and played for a few years and then of course Josh, he played, he played local here. He also played for Team BC. So we just go down there and we just watch and it's great to see.

And we talk about sevens for those that don't know, rugby, usually we're talking watching a game where there's 15 aside, but when we're talking sevens, the game is so much quicker because that's a lot of running. It is a lot of running, for sure. Now before we get into this, I call it life, work, balance.

And I've called it life, work balance for some time right now because I always thought, why would you call it work life balance when life should be the more important?

Absolutely, I agree.

But now, now that, you know, with the introduction, what have you, I'm wondering if it really makes a difference at this point.

Yeah, it's just a pleasant way of saying there's a difference between the two.

There is a difference between the two. And life has always got to be more important.

And what the suggestion is, how are the two intertwined and how are, how are they managed and how do you move and find your happy place in life, considering that, that you have to understand that perspective that truly life and work are intertwined.

Yeah. And it's just listening to your opening statement with regards to thinking that there should be a perfect balance between the two.

I never really looked at it that way. Like, I understood, for me it was a time investment kind of ensuring that there's that balanced time with your family and works a necessity.

But I don't even look at it to balance to work. But it's just an interesting interpretation of it.

Yeah, that, that. But you were always like your forefront's family anyhow. So your, your scale will tip towards the life end of things.

Where you have people that are, let's say these professional, call them professional people, where their focus is on work and their scale is tipping towards the work end of things.

And the point being is that you have to find that happy medium because you're gonna, if you don't burn yourself out, you in between, what you're gonna do is you're not gonna have either life or work.

Right. I was, I was in Vegas a couple weeks ago when we were at a big convention and I was chatting with the executive pastry chef at Mandalay Bay.

And we're walking down towards a boardroom and he, I said, you know how long you've been working here? And he's like, ah, it's like 11 years now. I'm like, oh, nice. So mostly days or evenings. He's like, no, I'm here seven days a week.

And I was like, oh, okay, Z, I work on average 11, 12 hours a day. And I was like, oh, wow, that's crazy. And I left it, that.

And then he says to me, yeah, you know, my, to, you know, argue with me once in a while that it should be home where I'm like, oh, you have children, do you know what I mean?

But like, because I never even thought that based on the fact that he says he works seven days a week and 11, 12 hours a day, that there was a family involved. So that, that shook me. I was just, I, I was kind of mortified, to be honest, because my kids probably would have strung me up if I worked like that.

So not to get into it, but that's a totally different expectation. Right?

Exactly. And there's no balance in, there's no balance there.

Right. But if you have kids, I'm just wondering, getting back to that, 11 hours a day for seven, what's your purpose? What's your purpose?

Yeah, everybody's got bills to pay. And I, I understand that, but you know, the kids need a dad too anyways.

But I, I will ask you this and I'll ask it what you think of this gentleman? Did he have some kind of semblance of balance? I wouldn't call it life. Work, work, life. There's no balance there with that.

Not at all. And it was almost like he was proud of the fact that he worked so hard. And I wasn't going to say anything different.

I was going to call him a lunatic. But hey, if that's his M.O. maybe you just never know what people's circumstances are. Maybe his wife is.

Got some sort of disability and she can't work, so he has to work more. So you just never know. So I wasn't about to cast judge him, but it just, it shook me as very odd.

Wouldn't you like to shake him and say that it's more to life then.

I would like to do that, but that's not my purpose.

I, I kind of have an idea what the answer to this question is going to be, but I'm going to ask you anyhow. Do you have a semblance of life, work, balance then?

Yes, I always have. And it is. I had children at a very young age and they were what showed me that.

And I worked hard in the restaurant business and you know, I was working long hours. I only had two days off, but on those two days and I had my kids and everybody knew.

Don't talk to me, don't ever call me about work, don't do anything when I have my kids, because I will never come in. I said, unless there is a fire, I'm not interested. Don't I'm on my days off. This is my, this is my time with my kids.

They called me one day and the restaurant did burn down. But that was, you know, that was a beside the fact. But yeah, it's, it's. You have to have your own standards as to what makes you happy.

And again, sometimes circumstance gets in the way of it. But if you're truly have that grasp as to what you need for said balance, I think it can be achieved.

Let's talk about what they're suggesting and let's, let's say that forget the balance for a second and we'll get into this a little bit more. But forget the balance for just, just a second. For years they were telling us that you can somehow achieve this balance.

And it, it's, I will call it urban myth because it, just. Because having lived it, there's no way I don't even have balance right now, for evidence sakes.

But if I had to realize like 10 years ago that somehow I have to be able to make the both of them work together and not separate the two and say, okay, I gotta tip the scale this way. And then because you're at work, you feel guilty, you gotta tip the scale more the other way. That's not a happy place to be at any given time.

No. And I never looked at it like that, like using some other word reference.

But yeah, when you say balance, you, you do think of them needing to be equal when it really shouldn't.

And, and you can't. There's no way. And, and depending on what it is, and you can say, yeah, I've got a nine to five.

And when, when that clock strikes five, that's it, I'm done. I'm on my own time and I can do what I want. But there's a lot of jobs where you're not able to do that. Nope.

If you own your own business, you're not able to do that. If you're a surgeon, you're not able to either.

No, it just, yeah, it's. So you have to create your own. Oh, see, now I don't even want to say the word balance because.

Yeah, yeah. So. So, okay, let's. Let's figure out what we're going to call if we're not going to call it balance.

How about your own appreciation of how to manage the two together and leave it at that?

Yeah, that, that, that's a little more. It puts it into context that they aren't to be the same, but they do work with each other. And sometimes against each other.

Yeah. And some.

And that's the problem when they work against each other and that's the bigger challeng if I realize that I need to go to work to support, let's say my family, which means pay the bills, put food on the table. That's a necessity. Right. But it's, it's, it's not the be all, end all.

It's, it's not living life if you get it in your head that you're going to be at work for 11 hours a day.

Yeah. Something gets affected by that. First you, then somebody else.

So I'm just going to say it, it sounds like they've been lying to us for years. How does that make.

That does. Yeah. It's like a false assumption that they should be balanced. So, yes, lying is a good word to put.

So I'm going to tell you a story. And this, this is, this is, this story has been heard every day.

So you're, you're, you're brand new dad, your first kid, and you're walking on cloud nine and you go into work and you're just excited and really they don't care because you have a job to do.

Exactly.

Did you ever have to deal with that reality? Because I know, because I went to my boss, I said, well, don't I get a little bit more time to be with this beautiful thing just came into the world?

Yeah, I think for the most part there's, you know, there's allotted time and after that it doesn't matter what's going. You're here to work, we're paying you, you do what you need to do. So.

Yeah, I think, you know, sometimes you get in different situations, whether you're working for a small business and the owner is a little bit more of a friend, so they might be, you know, a little more excited with you.

But yeah, if you're with a big corporate conglomerate and it's, you're a number on the wall and you're punching a clock, you're expected to punch that clock no matter what's happening in your.

Okay.

And I want you to just remember what you just said because we're going to revisit that and look at it from a different perspective and, and where, where the mind shift is or needs to go to. Well, I'll say even in the corporate, corporate world and with good reason. I'll explain that in a little bit here.

How much of a mind shift do you think it would be for people to say that. No, there's there's never ever going to be a work life balance or life work balance. And you have to be able to the, to learn how to manage your.

Work and life, which should be the marching orders so that people, yeah, to your point, understand that. No, you are not, it's not going to be 50/50 some days, this will be 80, this will be 20 and 64. Like, and you got to adapt to it.

But, well, you know the crazy thing about it, okay, so you would either get anywhere from, let's say, three weeks to six weeks off vacation time, and that was meant to give you that balance, get away from the job and just kind of recharge your batteries.

But every time I would go on holidays, it would literally take me three or four days to get to the point where I'm finally going, I, I'm relaxing now and then I have three or four more days where I have to get, you know, back in the saddle and just get back into the grind.

Yeah.

And there's no balance with that.

No, no.

But it does give that momentary pause to be able to recharge, disconnect, kind of, you know, clean the cob's wet, cobwebs out and come back reinvigor. That's really all it does.

It doesn't instantly fix everything and say, oh, I had two weeks off, I'm perfectly balanced, I'm ready to work 12 hours a day again. Doesn't work like that.

Okay, so now, now for the mind shift.

Okay, so for the work environment, what it means is allowing employees to take more breaks, perhaps a nature walk, or sometimes we refer to it as team building. Right. And then simply showing to improve employee satisfaction, productivity and innovation. Can you see companies doing this?

To a point. To a point. And the ones that do it, do it well, and then they have long standing employees, low turnover and people feel a sense of worth.

But that's pretty rare, to be honest from.

And I, I totally agree with you, but I, and what this is, what this is touting is basically this is where we need to go. So when you come in on Monday morning and I ask you, well, how was your weekend?

It's not just a question where we're just going to have idle chitchat. I really care and I want to know, how was your weekend? How's the, how's the wife and kids or how's partner doing?

What became a golf. You said you were going to play on Saturday.

Yeah, yeah.

It's a different connection. Whereas if you're just a cog in the wheel it's like, hey, how you doing? Good. Get to your station. Yeah, okay.

Yeah. And I'm not even talking about office gossip because, I mean, and that does help with relationships. There's no question about it.

But the thing about it is that as we go through life, we're going to have trials and tribulations professionally and in our home lives.

So it's a question of if I am, let's say, the leader, realizing that and knowing that I have to help people through not only what's going on when they walk through the office doors, but if they have challenges at home, help them through that as well.

Yeah. Because in my opinion, a good company or a good leader will do that.

And take that because it makes you feel like you have a greater purpose than just making the company money. Right. It's no, they know who I am as a person. They care about me, and if I have problems, they lit me the time off to do it.

You know, they know I'll work harder if need be. But, yeah, those companies, I don't know, it's a different era these days, I find.

Here's. Here's what would happen in the past. And just because that, this, this, this was the environment. So let's say you're the one that.

That's having a really hard time in the home life, so you gotta take some time off. Well, you're gone. Who's doing your work, you know, and then how does that make you feel when you come back and everybody's looking at you?

Well, there you are.

Yeah. Terrible.

It's terrible. So that environment has to change so that. Because if it's not, if it's not me this time, I'm going to have my own challenges.

And that's what life will give you now and again.

And all of a sudden, life has to be the focus and work has got to be put way back there in order for you to, I'll just say, get your head together so you have some kind of, I'll say, emotional stability.

Because if you don't, it doesn't matter what you walk through the office doors on Monday morning because you're not going to be very productive at all.

Yeah. And I think that the workforce is changing.

People are putting a lot more stock into what companies offer that would benefit them personally or their families, whether it's benefits that offer counseling services and stuff like that.

People are starting to pay more attention to the culture of the companies that they're going to work for because they don't want just to be that clock puncher that is looked at as a dollar sign when they walk in the door, they want to feel like they're either part of a team or positively contribut and that that gives you the desire to go in every day and know that you have worth there.

It sounds like we're stating the obvious, but it's not so obvious out there.

Right. I said, oh, he would like to think it's obvious, but it's not really.

What I'm saying here. Let's, let's forget about the work life balance. What did I refer to it again is the, is an appreciation that the two are intertwined.

I can't remember.

No, I think if you can coin this one, you can market it very effectively.

Well, I'm going to go back and I'm going to listen to it again. But at the end of the day, if, if we put our heads in that ballpark, I'm thinking that yeah, we will have people that will want to go to work.

We will have people that enjoy themselves at work.

And if you take, let's say an extra half hour at lunch, you know very well that when you come back, you're ready just to give her and leave it at that. Right.

And I don't know why more employers don't embrace that kind of ideology because it does nothing but benefit the company.

So. And I can't remember which culture it is, but. And I believe it's an Asian culture where you hear them basically taking afternoon naps at the office.

And I'm not talking Mexico. No, no, we're talking. Those are css.

This is something that, that is, is something there to recharge your batteries while you're actually at work at the site. Right.

So as opposed to people taking naps while they're supposed to be working.

Yes, yes, yes. And I've seen that too, when I just kind of. You kind of shake your head with that. Right. So. But that's another story, Al.

So, and I already said it, but like hindsight being 20 20, if they had kind of shared this mindset like years and years ago, what kind of world would we be living? Or is that just crazy?

It's utopic, I think, but it would be nice. Right?

And, but there, it all boils back down to people, because there are different types of bosses, there are different type of owners of companies, and if they're just in it for the almighty dollar, they don't care. They just, they are solely focused on profit.

Whereas you have other companies that you know are Making sure that their workforce is happy because they know in the long run it's going to benefit them. So it's just, I guess it's your approach and what you deem is important.

And that's, you know what, and that's, that's going to be a hard tide to change. It really will be. But I think it can be done.

And I think most people that run their own business and if they care about themselves, they'll care about their people. I just this again, getting back to this life work balance, let's call it life work balance. If we're going to do the balance thing.

Yeah.

But then understanding that there is no reality in that balance and just somehow find your own little groove so that you can manage that, that work and life, that at the end of the career you still have sense of life as well. Right.

So it's time like that.

So one of the things that, that I, and I, I. You're familiar with emotional intelligence. Okay.

So one of the things when I thought about this, this kind of different way of, of looking at how we should kind of approach work in life, I thought, well, these people with high emotional intelligence IQs are perfect for this model because their ability to show empathy to their people helps with that buy in. And this is what we're looking for. And when Susie hear that emotional and empathy, you're not really thinking about like productivity.

You know, I care for you.

Yeah. That's not, those aren't business terms.

Those aren't business terms.

But that, that's, there's, there's so much to be said that if you could somehow understand what your emotional IQ is and I don't know whether you can actually make changes to make it higher, you can certainly model those changes, but at the end of the day it, it certainly kind of falls in line with that. And if, if we could just understand that that doesn't matter where you are.

It's a people business and you have to look after your people or guess what do not pass go. Right.

So, so the, the people with that somehow understand what emotional intelligence is and, and it, and when we talk about that in the context of leaders, those leaders that have that high iq, they're able to understand and emphasize with their team members their emotions and allowing them to communicate more effectively and build stronger relationships. And that's, that's really what you want to do.

And getting, getting back to what I was saying before about like when I, when I come in Monday morning and you're asking me how I'm doing. I understand that you care and it's not just a let's have that 30 second verbal jaunt and then carry on with work. Right.

So, yeah, I think to your point though, if you have an employer that does have that high emotional iq, the whole balance discussion probably never comes up because it's just they treat their people properly so they don't ever feel that there is some injustice being, you know, I'm spending too much time at the office that I think it would be a different, much more positive scenario with those type of people being your leaders at work.

And I agree totally. And don't get me wrong, because there's some jobs that require you to be at the office for hours and hours and hours.

And that certainly doesn't help the family. These are the choices that we make.

And somehow if you're in that kind of environment, you actually have to work harder to kind of intertwine life at that point because the job itself demands so much of you. Yeah.

Now I'm going to be trying to think of what that phrase is going to be instead of work life balance.

Well, guess what, it's. It's going to be in the show notes.

Okay, perfect. Yeah, I'm going to come up with.

Something and, and on top of that, I'm going to send it out as a, as a, as a tweet or an accident. Yeah. So I'll do that for sure. Unfortunately, the music is telling us this episode's come to an end. But I want to keep this really, really simple.

Okay.

By shifting our focus from balance to integration, we can create workplace places that support the full spectrum of employees lives, fostering environments where people can truly thrive. When we say truly thrive, let's talk about life.

Because at one point we're all going to say it's time to retire and there's got to be something left to live for at that point. So it's time to let go of the myth of work life balance and embrace a more holistic, sustainable approach to work and life.

And of course, when I was, when I was thinking about that, I, you know how I feel about music. But before I shared this with you, I just want to know any other thoughts on this. Mad Dog.

No, this is, this is good.

It actually is prodded a lot of different thoughts because I've never really looked at it in that context of, of, you know, that there isn't an actual balancing of it. So. No, there's a lot spinning around right now here.

We're gonna let it stop spinning. Okay. Go. Okay. And you gotta. You. You gotta guess as long as you can. I'll be very disappointed in people. Okay. You can't always get what you want.

But if you try sometimes, you just might find you get what you need. Perhaps.

Perhaps.

And I just thought about it, like, I mean, it just makes so much sense. If you need that balance with life or you need that focus on life, it'll be there for you. Make sure you don't miss that. For sure.

And this kind of falls into place as we usually end. Remember to take advantage of the moment before the moment takes advantage of you. To learn more about Ewalkabout, please Visit us at eWalkabout.

Cat.