We all know the feeling: walking into a room and scanning for safety. Holding back from posting because “who am I to say this?” Comparing our year one to someone else’s year five. Assuming a quiet patch means something personal.

But what if no one has actually excluded you?

In this episode, Julia explores the quieter psychology of self-exclusion: the decisions we make before anyone else has spoken.

She looks at:

1. Anticipatory rejection and the illusion of control
2. Pre-emptive withdrawal
3. Comparison as self-protection
4. The risk of saying, “This isn’t enough for me.”
5. And how easily we mistake quiet for rejection

Before deciding you aren’t wanted, it’s worth checking whether anyone actually said that.

Here are the highlights of this episode:

(2.15) Anticipatory rejection

(2.46) Pre-emptive withdrawal

(3.18) Comparison as self protection

(4.20) Self exclusion as a form of control

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ABOUT THE PODCAST

The Dynamics of Everyday Life explores the psychological patterns shaping how we think, work and relate to others; bringing psychodynamic thinking into coaching, leadership and everyday life.

If you're a coach interested in learning more about psychodynamic approaches to coaching, you can explore Julia's training programmes on her website.

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