I sit down with my dear friend and student Michelle, a stay-at-home mama to two little girls (just 13 months apart!), and now expecting her third baby girl in January. We dive deep into her journey, from the quick excitement and early losses that stole that first-pregnancy bliss, and the tender miscarriage of her son Peter at 12 weeks. We get into her experiences with her pregnancies and the birth stories of her two daughters.

We chat postpartum realities too - the baby blues, nursing wins and pains, tandem feeding challenges, and navigating it all amid a house flood and GDM diagnosis - plus how faith, family support, and a bigger age gap this time around have her buzzing with anticipation for another empowering birth. If you're navigating pregnancies, losses, or the wild ride of close-together kiddos, this one's full of grace, giggles, and real-talk encouragement!

More from Michelle Robins:

Connect with Michelle on Instagram @therobinsthriftednest

Helpful Timestamps:

1. 02:39 Michelle's First Pregnancy and Birth Story
2. 12:43 Navigating Postpartum Challenges
3. 14:54 Surprise Second Pregnancy
4. 18:54 Unexpected Diagnosis and Holiday Challenges
5. 19:59 Preparing for an Unmedicated Birth
6. 20:53 Labor Begins Amidst Chaos
7. 22:07 A Fast and Furious Delivery
8. 27:11 Postpartum Challenges and Nursing Struggles
9. 30:03 Pregnancy Loss and Healing
10. 32:25 Expecting Baby Number Three
11. 34:09 Resources and Support for New Moms

About your host:

🩺🤰🏻Lo Mansfield, MSN, RNC-OB, CLC is a registered nurse, mama of 4, and a birth, baby, and motherhood enthusiast. She is both the host of the Lo & Behold podcast and the founder of The Labor Mama.

For more education, support and “me too” from Lo, please visit her website and check out her online courses and digital guides for birth, breastfeeding, and postpartum/newborns. You can also follow @thelabormama and @loandbehold_thepodcast on Instagram and join her email list here.

For more pregnancy, birth, postpartum and motherhood conversation each week, be sure to subscribe to The Lo & Behold podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you prefer to listen!

👉🏼 A request: If this episode meant something to you, would you consider a 5 star rating and leaving us a review? Yes, we read them, and yes, they help keep L & B going! ♥️

Connect with Lo more on: INSTAGRAM | TIK TOK | PINTEREST | FACEBOOK

Disclaimer

Opinions shared by guests of this show are their own, and do not always reflect those of The Labor Mama platform. Additionally, the information you hear on this podcast or that you receive via any linked resources should not be considered medical advice. Please see our full disclaimer here.

Additionally, we may make a small commission from some of the links shared with you. Please know, this comes at no additional cost to you, supports our small biz, and is a way for us to share brands and products with you that we genuinely love.

Produced and Edited by Vaden Podcast Services

I woke up and was pretty much at 10 centimeters at that point.

I pushed for 22 minutes and she was out

I just felt like a superhero.

all of a sudden contractions were three minutes apart,

I was already eight centimeters, which was just such a different experience

Excited for labor again, is that normal to be excited about birth?

Motherhood is all consuming.

Having babies, nursing, feeling the fear of loving someone that much, and there's this baby on your chest, and boom, your entire life has changed.

It's a privilege of being your child's safest space and watching your heart walk around outside of your body.

The truth is.

I can be having the best time being a mom one minute, and then the next, I'm questioning all my life choices.

I'm Lo Mansfield, your host of the Lo and Behold podcast, mama of four Littles, former labor and postpartum RN, CLC, and your new best friend in the messy middle space of all the choices you are making in pregnancy, birth, and motherhood.

If there is one thing I know after years of delivering babies at the bedside and then having, and now raising those four of my own, it is that there is no such thing as a best way to do any of this.

And we're leaning into that truth here with the mix of real life and what the textbook says, expert Insights and practical applications.

Each week we're making our way towards stories that we participate in, stories that we are honest about, and stories that are ours.

This is the lo and behold podcast.

Welcome back to another episode of Lo and Behold, today is a birth story day, and I'm really excited to put this mama in front of you simply because, maybe selfishly because she's become a friend over the years, she's a student.

You'll hear about that when she kind of started taking classes and getting educated with me.

But our back and forth and our email communication and student community and communication and Instagram communication has just led to maybe one of those kind of weird but parasocial friendships.

So it was such a privilege for me to get to chat with her and hear her stories end to end.

Michelle is a mama of two little girls right now.

She's currently pregnant with her third.

She has had a few angel babies along the way during these pregnancies and these births, and so I did wanna mention that and put it in front of you because she is going to go into detail about some of those losses and what that process looked like.

And so if that feels tender to you or like something that you just don't feel like listening to, go ahead and skip this episode and come back and listen to her stories at another time.

Michelle, I am so excited to get to hear these stories, and you guys may hear this a little bit when she talks, but I feel like I have known her for years and years and years, mostly like via social media and being a student, but I've never got to hear her full birth stories, and that is what we are here together to hear.

So Michelle, why don't you introduce yourself the way you would like to introduce yourself to us and let's get into those stories.

Thank you so much for having me.

I'm truly honored to be a guest on the podcast.

My name is Michelle.

I am a stay at home mama to my two daughters, Eliza and Margaret, and we have our third little girl on the way due in January, so I'm sure I'll get into it, the stories, but we have a January 12th, a February 12th, and then this baby's due smack D in the middle.

So.

It's gonna be a girl party at our house.

I dunno if I realized that they'd all ended up coming.

I mean, you're still waiting for the third?

Yes.

Around similar timing.

How many years apart are they each, are you like two year?

Two year.

Two year.

Also, Eliza, Eliza and Maggie are 13 months apart.

Okay.

They're very close.

I've

that, yes, they're

i'll.

I'll, I'm, I'm sure I'll share as we get into it.

And then, there's gonna be a three year age gap between Maggie and this baby.

Okay,

perfect.

Which I'm kind of excited about having a little bit of a bigger gap this time.

I liked my bigger gaps as I moved along, which that's for another episode.

Yeah.

But I thought they were great.

Just as much as I wanted, like two under, two, two year gaps too.

So another episode.

But

yeah, we'll see what you think.

There's something beautiful, I think about every age gap for sure.

But.

It'll be different.

Definitely different experience this time.

Yeah.

Okay.

Well why don't we get into deciding to have that first baby and try to get pregnant and all of that and we'll go from there.

Sure.

So my husband and I got married in December of 2020 in the midst of COVID chaos, but we were pretty much immediately open to conceiving our first baby and we got that first positive pregnancy test in April, which was super exciting.

Sadly, we lost it like a week later, so it was, I guess they call it a chemical pregnancy, which was rather devastating, especially I think to lose that like first pregnancy innocence.

I think there's, as a person who, like I love all the information, I love knowing everything, but there's something beautiful about that ignorance of the first pregnancy, and so it was really.

We got pregnant immediately following the month, the next month, which was thrilling and also very anxiety inducing ' cause we just like weren't sure what, you know, what was gonna happen.

So then I, yeah, I did start spotting again in that pregnancy and I thought for sure we were losing it again.

And I got in for an early ultrasound and was so relieved to see a healthy heartbeat.

Think it was about six weeks.

So it's early.

But they did see an empty gestational sack, so I think there was a vanishing twin, with that pregnancy with Eli.

So that was Eliza.

Thank the Lord.

The rest of the pregnancy was very smooth.

E besides the normal morning sickness, I was pretty sick that first trimester.

But, the rest of the pregnancy went very smoothly, which was much needed after the, the kind of tumultuous beginning.

Yeah, that idea of losing innocence quickly, I bet that resonates with someone who's gone through that too, because I do think, as we should, as any of you listening who maybe haven't gotten pregnant yet and want to like go into it with your heart open and, and like, I think yes, you know, things could happen, but I think there's a sweetness to walking into it that way.

Before sometimes reality can,

yeah.

Maybe knock us down a few picks.

Yeah.

So I'm sure there's people who are like, oh yeah,

yeah,

I remember that feeling and losing that.

Like blissful naivety too.

For sure.

Yeah.

Especially just, you don't even know like, is my body capable of being and staying pregnant?

So there's just so many unknowns at that beginning.

But yeah, it's, it's beautiful just to have that help.

As you went through your pregnancy, did you guys have, I mean, it sounds like you were ready to have kids pretty quickly.

Did you have ideas about like what you wanted the birth to look like too?

Was that something you guys, or you felt pretty clear about?

I

wasn't too sure what I wanted birth to look like for majority of the pregnancy.

Um, towards the end, I, I had thought about wanting to go unmedicated and.

Unfortunately, a lot of the, my close circle was like, that's crazy.

Don't do that.

Don't be a hero.

Like, there's no reason.

which is fine too, again, like, there's nothing wrong.

All birth is beautiful, but in hindsight, I wish I had, you know, done a little bit more deep diving into how to have an unmedicated birth, if that was really what I wanted.

But.

Yeah, I don't think your course existed yet.

I found that for my second.

For my second part.

Must not have been out there for you.

I really do think it was it.

Did you start in 2020?

Was it like late?

It

didn't exist.

You're right.

Yeah, because I had my third.

We got pregnant with him in 2020 also, and, and, and everything kind of built and grew after I had him.

So it didn't exist, but did have, but there probably were things out

there for

you.

Yeah, no, I'm there.

Were you wanted them?

I had a, I had a friend who actually introduced me to you and your account and she told me her beautiful unmedicated story.

But that was really like the only exposure I had to that as a possibility.

So when I, at 39 weeks I started having contractions.

I was like, okay, I guess this is it.

I, I wish I had taken more of a course.

I just didn't, I dunno, I was very unprepared.

My first part.

It's

okay.

You're also speaking to a lot of people who are the same, so you don't have to be

embarrassed.

It's so

normal.

I know.

But if people are listening, I think that's like the best first step is just to start exposing yourself to, you know, birth stories and.

Learning about different possibilities.

I mean, 'cause I'm embarrassed to admit, when I first started having contractions with Eliza, I didn't know that contractions could be painful.

Like, I thought that the only painful part of birth was like the pushing out of the baby.

I don't know, like, how did I not know that?

I dunno,

I'm over here.

Like, gotta keep a straight face.

I know.

That is funny.

I don't know.

I know.

I don't know how You didn't know that.

I don't.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And I think that she was posterior, so I had some pretty bad back labor, with her and yeah, so they, my contraction started at night and they went inconsistently throughout that night and in the morning.

They just disappeared.

I think my husband had already sweetly sent his like, out of office message to work like, oh, baby's coming, baby did not come.

And then the same thing happened that next night where I started contractions again at nighttime.

They were inconsistent throughout the whole night.

And then the morning they just disappeared again.

And then I went to my, regular weekly appointment.

I think I was like my 39 week appointment, and she measured my cervix and it was only one and a half centimeters dilated.

I was just so crushed after two nights of labor of like, which I thought was painful, Anyway, and so she's like, well, probably sometime this week.

I was like, okay, sometime this week.

So I went home and I bought all the ingredients for that labor ch eggplant farm.

Have you heard about this egg?

The eggplant farm?

I

have, but I've never made it, but yeah.

Wow.

It worked for me.

I mean, I'm partially joking.

I didn't, I went home and made eggplant farm and then they did, my contractions started finally picking up, and I was pretty miserable at home.

And my, we called my OB and she's like, well just like try to get in the tub and wait a little bit longer.

'cause I think they were still pretty far apart at this point.

They were like 12 minutes apart.

So my husband has a picture of me like just miserable in the tub.

Like not happy, not just wanting to like make it happen.

Eventually, I think they got to like seven minutes apart.

It was like one 30 in the morning on my now third day of labor of what I would consider a third day of labor and we went to the hospital.

They put me in triage and kind of waited for an hour or so, and then they checked my me again, and I think I was like three or four centimeters.

So I was making enough progress for them to admit me.

So they admitted me.

They got us to a room and they were asking me about what I wanted to do, if I wanted an epidural or not, and I was just like, at this point.

Yeah, I'm kind of done already for this birth, I do think it was the right choice for me because I got that epidural and I was, I think they broke my water too at that same time, right around then.

They, they kind of warned me that like, if they broke my water, contractions could pick up and it might be better to get epidural first.

So I did, and then I was able to take a, a great nap.

I like slept for an hour or so, and then I woke up and was pretty much at 10 centimeters at that point.

So that was pretty much best case scenario for me.

We, they let me labor down for a little bit so I could call my mom and she came to the hospital and was there, I pushed for 22 minutes and she was out and it was.

It was like a very wonky beginning to the labor to end quite smoothly.

And I'll never forget, like when she came out, I just felt like a superhero.

Like I was just on this like cloud nine, like I can't believe we just did that.

I, I remember like thinking like, I wanna do that again.

Like when you get off a rollercoaster and you're just like, let's go again.

Which is ironic because leading to my second part of the story, I, I did not know, I did not mean quite that when I said,

you didn't mean I wanna do it again in like 11 months, 12 months?

Not yet.

Eventually,

yeah, that was.

So

what did I mean, the euphoria and all that you're talking about, I'm like, yep, I know exactly what you're talking about.

How did that translate into postpartum and going into that, like I'm assuming,

yeah,

you maybe walked into that.

I'm not, I don't wanna say uneducated, but that you probably hadn't taken classes for any of that stuff too.

So how did that look like for you guys?

Yeah, fortunately, nursing went smoothly with her.

I did, you know, had a lactation consultant come in in the hospital that kind of helped me get a good latch.

But Eliza and I just kind of had it from the beginning, which was, I don't think I fully appreciated that.

Blessing.

At the time, I don't think I understood what, how it could be harder than that, but it was, it was pretty easy.

We had a pretty easy postpartum.

The only thing that like now I can recognize more so is that, I definitely had like the, I guess they called the baby blues, like the sundowners, like every night at like 6:00 PM I would just start crying and I wasn't sad, I wasn't, I didn't feel.

Sad except that I was crying.

I just couldn't help it.

I dunno.

I think it's just all those postpartum hormones.

But

yeah, it's a real thing.

And it is.

It's like so specific to nighttime coming and I think like you could probably look back to and say

yeah,

that feeling, that oppressive nature of here comes the night and the darkness.

Yeah.

And I'm gonna be up, like you start to know, I know what the next 12 hours are gonna look like.

Yeah.

And it's gonna be hard even if it's, I think a lot of it.

And you love it.

I think at that time I was also like very subconscious.

Like I don't think I was consciously like dreading the night.

It's just my body.

I was like, you're tired, you need to sleep.

But overall it was a pretty easy first postpartum.

I had great support.

My family was, it lives close by and that was really nice to have.

And my husband worked from home, so he was like, he would just hold her and I could take a nap when I needed to, which was so nice.

Yeah, definitely got a little spoiled because my, my second was not, not quite so smooth.

Well, there's our perfect segue.

Yeah.

But I am curious how you took that experience, which I would say sounds pretty great.

I know you're making jokes kind of about your lack of education and stuff, but like certainly a body that just knew what to do.

Yeah.

Mom, baby dyad that knew what to do for nursing.

Like, so how did that translate into the second experience?

Did you want stuff to be different?

It sounds like maybe the pregnancy was a surprise, like all of that stuff too.

Yeah, I think, I mean, after that, just being so excited about birth and, and labor and delivery, and I'm sure part of that is because I had such a positive experience.

I just was like so excited.

I started following you, following so many other birth accounts.

I just like wanted to talk about birth.

I loved, loved it.

Yeah, definitely wanted to.

I was hoping to, that, that kind of made me want to have an unmedicated birth for my next labor.

I just didn't know that it was gonna be quite so soon.

I was laughing at your, when you told your second birth or second pregnancy story, because mine was quite similar, where I'll say, went into my six week postpartum checkup and she asked me about.

Birth.

And I was like, oh, well I'm gonna practice nfp, natural Family Planning.

And she said to me, oh, Michelle, that doesn't work.

And I was like, well, if, if we get pregnant, then, you know, being a person of faith, I was like, that's, I guess that's God's will.

And she's like, okay.

Like if that's how you feel and, to be fair, it was definitely user error.

I was not using NFP correctly, because

I'm trying not to laugh year, but I'm like, it's all just so funny too.

It was, that's, I was laughing listening to your story.

I know it seems like same, but my cycle returned up four months postpartum, so I immediately thought, oh, I know I have regular cycles.

I know when I ovulate, I'll be good to go.

So I. In June, so she was born in January.

June.

I was going on a family vacation and was like expecting my period that weekend and was like, you know what, I'm just gonna take a test just so that I know that I'm not pregnant.

Oh no.

How

far along were you?

I mean, you're probably didn't get there, but must

have been.

It was, it was very early.

Okay.

It was very, it like.

I think that I probably was only like four weeks when I found out that I was expecting her.

So I don't know.

I don't, I don't actually fully remember 'cause I delayed going in.

I, I was so embarrassed to be pregnant again so quickly that I did not schedule an OB appointment.

I actually switched ob gy.

Did you wanna go back to that ob who was like,

that's not

gonna work.

No, I totally switched practices.

And didn't go in until 17 weeks with, with my second, because I was just, yeah, I was in shock and I was like, I was actually quite, quite sad to be pregnant again, which.

Every baby is a blessing, but it was just not my plan.

We, we wanted kids close together.

But yeah, I was like counting the months and knew that they were gonna be 13 months apart and was just like, how am I going to do this?

And yeah, fortunately it was a pretty smooth early part of the pregnancy.

I don't know if, because I was still nursing Eliza, that like that helped, but I did not have nearly as much nausea.

It was just a very easy majority of the pregnant, well, I shouldn't say majority, but like the first, first bit of it was pretty smooth, which was great.

Yeah.

And then

so what changed then education wise for you?

Like, sounds like you.

Around halfway through, you were really starting to pay attention and be like, all right, I'm having another baby.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So what's change in that?

I, signed up for your course.

When do I think I signed up for your, how, when did your course launch?

Do you remember

that summer?

I do.

Okay.

Because

we moved abroad right after, so in probably like in June or July.

Okay.

So right as I was finding out.

Yeah, it would've been right when you were finding out, so you could have joined at any point or maybe you hopped in, I don't know, for Black Friday or something.

Yeah.

But it available right then.

Mm-hmm.

I think I did hop in for Black Friday.

Yeah, so at, and then I got then her birth, her.

Story got kind of complicated because I was diagnosed with GDM right around Thanksgiving, which was new for me.

I was very not expecting that being, I just didn't know that I could be at risk for that.

I don't know I being relatively healthy person, I don't have a history of blood sugar issues or like family history, although my mom did have GDM with.

She can't remember which one of us.

But, so there was that component.

And then on Christmas day, we had a pipe burst in our house and flooded my whole home.

So we were displaced.

We had to, fortunately we could go live with my parents, but I was, you know, eight months pregnant now with a 1-year-old.

And Maggie was breach and.

It was very stressful because I was trying to, I really wanted now this unmedicated birth, so she was breached and that was that whole, you know, added layer of what to do.

So I was taking your course, preparing for this unmedicated birth, not knowing if I was even going to be able to do that.

Fortunately, my doctor did recommend me for, a version and I had one done at, I was almost 38 weeks almo right around there.

And it was successful and I was so relieved.

But that was, that was like just stressful, not knowing if I, if I should wait and see if she does turn on her own.

I, you know, if I go in for this version and then she's in distress and then I end up with a C-section anyway.

But I had really at that time, really wanted to avoid a c-section.

So when that was successful, I was very, very, very relieved.

And then it was, yeah, I was just bizarre because I was now preparing for birth, but I'm still living at my parents' house with a one year.

Yeah, it was.

But at right around like, like just a few days later, I think that they just really put her into position because we woke up that morning and I went to the bathroom and I lost my mucus plug and I know that that can be nothing or it can be everything.

But I started, I think I had like my first contraction and I was like, honey, I, I think maybe could be here soon.

so we went to the furniture store to buy a couch.

Naturally,

we had nothing in our house.

We're still living at my parents' house.

We had to like, it was just very stressful time.

Yeah.

So we went to the furniture store.

I'm like, my husband's like, can we just like speed up this process?

'cause my wife is having contractions.

And they were like, oh, ha ha.

No, no, I'm not

joking.

This is not a movie.

It kind of felt like one at the time.

But it was there pretty far apart still.

So I wasn't too worried yet.

And then we went back to my parents' house and I was making lunch, like making a grilled cheese casually.

One o'clock.

And then I had learned, you know, some of it.

They were pretty far apart, irregular contractions, but I was like kind of going through the mile circuit, , trying to change positions and do some stretching and stuff.

And I think she just like got into the right position because all of a sudden contractions were three minutes apart, lasting a minute.

And I was like, oh no.

I think it's like it's time.

So fortunately we were at my parents' house, they could watch Eliza and I like waddled to the car, and I could just feel like the heaviness.

I was like, it's, it's very much time to go to the hospital.

So yeah, we got there, they checked me.

And I was already eight centimeters, which was just such a different experience than with Eliza.

But I think I credit a lot to that, like just knowing more about.

Eliza probably wasn't in the right position and I probably could have done things to help her move.

Not probably, I know that I could have and I just didn't know at the time.

So that was really where I think that education is so huge.

'cause yeah, I had worked my way through your course and followed all these people on social media that kind of gave me more tips, and tricks, which was wonderful.

So it was eight centimeters and she was born 45 minutes after getting to the hospital, which is funny.

We got to the hospital and I realized I had forgotten my wallet and I was like, honey, we need to go, we need to go back and get my wallet.

They're not gonna admit me.

He's like, we're not, we're here.

We're not going back.

Good job, dad.

Yeah, because your one job is get her to the hospital and keep her there.

Thank God, because I, we would not have made it back and forth.

Well, my teacher brain makes me think of that's like transition almost, where you like, don't know what to do and you're panicky and like, you're like, I have to have this thing.

And I don't know that he was like, oh, she's getting close.

But just the ability for him to be like, and I'm gonna make this decision right now because you cannot.

Yeah, I that I needed that.

It was, it was really cool.

I, I mean, I was so proud of myself for being able to have an unmedicated birth.

Because so many young people in my circle were just like, that's.

Not, you know, don't why you don't need to, but I wanted it for me and I, it was right for this birth.

Like I was already eight centimeters.

I had made it through so far, and from Eliza's birth, I knew I likely wasn't going to have to push for very long because it wasn't very long for Eliza.

So I knew it probably wouldn't be for this one.

I mean, she was out in like a push and a half, so.

That was such a blessing.

But it was funny, I know that you say that you like to like labor on all fours and I found myself wanting to be on hands and knees and the wonderful nurses in the hospital just like didn't know to that.

Like they, they were like, I was just like, I couldn't communicate it.

I was just kind of falling to the ground and they're like, can we just at least like put a blanket under you or something?

Because I think I asked for a birth ball and I think they thought that I wanted to sit on it, but I just wanted to like, lay over it, lean on it.

And so they were just kind of scrambling around me trying to make me comfortable, which was so sweet.

But yeah, that was a, that was my fast and furious second.

Yeah, it is a fast and furious second.

It sound not to like diminish it, but almost sounds like that cliche like so second babies, I know they usually wanna fly out like that, and so I do think.

The education can become so valuable in that season of maybe a second baby because it could be something that moves quickly and Yeah, and, and knowing what's going on and understanding that and knowing it's normal, or maybe knowing your body better too, so you can know, hey, it's time to head to the hospital birth center.

Mm-hmm.

Or just recognize things.

Mm-hmm.

So often they do come Yeah.

Just like she did really quickly.

Yes.

And, but it sounds to me listening like.

You weren't panicky, you understood what was going on.

You felt the things that indicated, hey, like this probably is something you should pay attention to.

Like all of those little pieces clicked into place.

Probably both from your wisdom, from your first birth too, like we're not gonna discredit that, that wisdom we pull forward and education along the way to maybe be more prepared for the second time too.

For sure.

Yeah.

I think it's one of those.

It's such a complex thing because I, I'm such a perfectionist.

I like to be prepared.

I like to like be in control and we can do so much of that in pregnancy, but, and birth.

But there's also so much that's we can't, we can't prepare for, and there's so many unknowns and unexpected, like, you know, I just, I look back at each of my births and there are things that like, I wish I had done differently.

And like you just.

You're, you don't get to it is just, it is what it is and it's easy for me to get in my head and be like, oh, I wish I had done that differently.

But I think I'm trying to like give myself more grace, especially as I prepare to go through this experience again, to know that like there are going to be things that go wrong.

It almost reminds me of like your wedding day.

Like everyone just says it's the best day of your life, but also things are going to go wrong, and don't let that detract from this most beautiful day, most beautiful experience.

I like that.

It's true.

It's true.

Yeah.

Postpartum with baby girl number two.

How'd that go with Maggie?

Well, so I was still living at my parents' house, which was.

Kind of a blessing and a curse.

I had, I had help, but I also didn't get to nest the way that I wanted to and didn't get to stock a freezer with like, things that I wanted to eat and I had a 1-year-old.

So it was tricky just navigating that experience.

Nursing did not go as easily as smoothly as it did with Eliza for some reason.

I saw lactation, I saw several lactation consultants.

I was like, this is, I just had an unmedicated birth and this lash is more painful than that.

And they couldn't tell me why.

They didn't know.

They were like, it looks good.

It looks like she was made to nurse.

You were made to nurse.

But like, they couldn't put the finger on why it was so painful.

Fortunately it went away after a, like, probably a week.

So in the grand scheme of things, it was not.

The worst but worst a week of excruciating pain is not, it's not ideal.

But we did get the hang of it.

Thank God she was able to nurse, we, were able to nurse for almost fif I think 15 months.

We Okay.

Awesome.

Were you tandem nursing at all or had you stopped nursing Liza at some point around then?

So I. I did not tandem nurse, Eliza started, I started combo feeding her when I just couldn't, my body just couldn't keep up at that.

I, I fed her until about, she was about eight months.

So I was about five months pregnant at that time.

But my body, I just could not keep up supply for, for, for both babies.

I probably, if I, I just felt like I was constantly eating, trying to consume enough calories to grow a baby and feed a baby and.

She started to prefer the bottle and I was like, that's fine.

We'll just, we'll call it.

Well, when you know, you're like months away from having a newborn again in

another

15 months of nursing.

A lot.

Exactly.

Yeah.

It was, I was, I was sad about it at the time, but it was the right choice for us at the time.

Okay.

So obviously you shared you're pregnant with number three.

Yes.

You wanna share anything with us related to that?

Of course.

We don't have our birth story yet for number three, but I know that you've kind of walked through some stuff getting pregnant with this third one, so would love to hear that.

Yeah.

Well, so I will say I did learn NFP way better.

I found a method that works.

Shout out to Marquette if anybody wants to know.

The Marquette method is once you learn it.

Easier trying to, especially while you're nursing and postpartum.

It's just great NFP method for family planning.

So we were able to space pregnancies and we decided, in the fall of 2025, so 2024.

We were gonna try again for number three.

And we did get pregnant right away, but we lost our son, Peter, in January.

Which yeah, was really, really hard.

I just, I had started spotting and I hadn't seen a doctor yet, but I was 12 weeks and I went, and actually that's not true.

I did have an appointment.

I had a nine week ultrasound and everything looked fine.

And then I started spotting at 12 weeks and went in and they said he had stopped growing, like right after that, that ultrasound.

And yeah, I don't, I never like found out what happened and that's really hard for me to not, not know why.

But they, I don't know if anyone's been through a miscarriage that they kinda give you options for.

And I know you've talked about it too before about.

Options for how to handle that.

Fortunately my doctor let me kind of wait it out a little bit to see if I would just deliver him on my own, which was what I wanted to do.

And he, I, he, so like a few days after finding out that he had passed, it was really its own mini birth.

Like overnight I started having real contractions.

And then I felt like a little pop, which I think was my water breaking.

And I, yeah, he was born at home.

And then I passed a placenta and everything and it was just kind of wild to me how much just this little 12 week baby was, was very much a real birth.

But we were able to bury him a local cemetery offers like free little plots for babies, which is sweet.

To have.

So yeah, and it took a, a little, we were very sad and heartbroken, but wanting to grow our family.

It took a little bit for my body to recover, which is hard because, you know, it is, it's birth, it's, I had to like, go through a mini postpartum and heal.

It's just a constant reminder of what could have, should have been and wasn't.

You know, you're healing, but you don't have a baby to like make that postpartum worth it.

Mm-hmm.

But we were able to conceive again a, a few months later and.

It's been a lot of anxiety this pregnancy.

I don't think I really told anybody that I was pregnant until I was like past the anatomy scan because I just wasn't ready to, to be vulnerable again, I suppose.

But yeah, baby girl number three is growing and she's doing well.

Thank, thank God.

I'm, yeah.

Excited for labor again, I dunno, is, is that normal to be excited about birth?

Yeah, of course.

I mean, you're asking the wrong, asking the wrong person, person.

So,

I think it's both.

I think I, it sounds to me like you really loved the birth of your daughters and so.

Even though they looked really different, right?

And you felt differently about them going into 'em and stuff like that, and so I think it only makes sense that you would be looking forward to getting to do it again.

So I think that that partly depends on.

Maybe what is in someone's past as well.

You know for sure if they have a traumatic experience, I'm sure there's a lot of fear going in of like, I cannot do that again.

Right?

And so it's like being hopeful for one, but scared of another.

So I just think it depends on who you are.

But yeah, you asked me that question.

My answer is yes.

Every time

It's funny because like I have all that fear and hangups around the conception part because like I have baggage from that.

But I don't yet have baggage from birth.

So, yeah, I have a blissful, like it's gonna be great.

Okay.

Well knock on wood, you said I don't yet have baggage, but the prayer and hope here is that you'll be one of the people who does not ever.

Oh,

yes,

yes.

And that is possible.

And that is a gift too.

So

yes,

that's what, that's what we're hoping and praying for over a year.

Yeah.

Amen.

I know you've mentioned, obviously you're a student and we've gotten to know each other, so over the last couple years.

Other resources, books, I don't know, accounts just.

People who have really helped you or books you read, or even your husband, in these baby make and baby habit years?

That's a good question.

No, I feel like you're my number one go-to.

I love, yeah.

Not just like, too, too horn, but I, I love the information, but I information, I don't like to feel too overwhelmed, so I feel like it's nice to listen to just like one or two voices.

I have a couple books that I've checked out from the library for this go around, but I haven't read them yet, so don't even ask me the titles yet, because I, okay, I'll, they're on my, they're on my, nightstand, but I, I'm not quite there yet.

Although I'm, I'm gonna be entering the third trimester on Friday, which is wild.

I feel like it just goes faster and faster.

When you're busy and when life is full.

I know like yours is now, and now you're going to the holiday season, it's like it's gonna be here in a snap because it'll be Christmas and New Year's and then you're having a baby.

For sure.

So

I know.

Yeah.

Okay.

So if someone wanted to reach out to you, Instagram account, email, anything, if they wanted to ask you questions or maybe ask about Peter or that experience.

Yeah.

Is there a way they could do that?

Regular Instagram is private, but I have a public Instagram that, I have like a little, I, I do some reselling Thrifted clothes on, on Instagram so they can find me at the Robins Thrifted Nest on Instagram.

That's probably the easiest way.

Okay.

We can put that in the show notes and then you're listening.

You know what,

yeah.

Mys Yeah, go ahead.

My CMS are open for if anyone has any questions about.

Peter or any of the birth stories, I'm, I like am obsessed with talking about birth.

She really is.

I can I affirm.

I can confirm that it's true.

She, to me, seems like someone who should be a doula someday.

One of those people who are like, I love birth so much, now I'm gonna be a doula.

I've literally had dreams about becoming a doula.

I have, I've had multiple dreams about cheering.

For people as they're giving birth.

Isn't that funny?

Yeah.

We cheer.

It's great.

So I I, that is like a, a long term dream of mine for sure.

Yeah.

I could see it for you for sure.

Okay.

You know what question I ask at the end?

Something in your life right now that's bringing you a ton of joy.

Yes.

Big or small?

I have to say this season of motherhood has been.

Really beautiful.

I think, you know, having two babies super close together, I just, in my mind thought I was going to be in Babyland forever, and they're still little, they're only two and a half and three and a half.

But their like independence and their personalities and the way that they play together and they're so curious and asking questions and it's just really fun being this toddler mom that, yeah.

It felt so far away when you're in, in like the, the thick of babyland.

But I'm really enjoying this season and I'm excited to see them become big sisters.

They're, they're really excited.

Maggie keeps asking me like, can we go to the hospital yet to take the baby out?

She's ready.

She thinks she's ready.

I'm not sure how she's actually going to handle it when baby comes, but I'm excited for that for the next season too.

Well, I'm excited for your family.

As a child who grew up in a three girl house, anytime I hear about three girl houses, it's just like, that's right.

I gives me a little thrill.

I don't know, it's just fun.

I love it's a lot.

Oh, I that, it's fun.

We fought, we loved each other.

We've been there for each other through a lot.

You know, that's so, I'm just so grateful for my sisters and the relationship we have and, and all the bumps along the way too.

So I'm excited for your family, for your girls.

Thank you.

Well, thank you for sharing your stories.

It was super fun for me to hear them from start to finish, and I'm just excited for you in this next birth too.

Thank you so much for having me.

This was fun.

Bye friend.

Bye.

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